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Matt had been watching the clock for too long. He knew exactly when Cai was going to come in for lunch, but he was still unable to keep his attention off the slow, rhythmic ticking of the clock hanging just over the doorframe. Matt had initially thought it funny that Foggy had fished a clock out of his apartment’s dumpster and erected it in their place of work, but, unsurprisingly, the dumpster clock had not been in perfect condition when it arrived in their office. The minute hand was cracked, creating a distinct—and aggravating —clicking noise that occurred at the turn of every minute. It was innocuous enough to Foggy and Karen, obviously, but it had come to drive Matt to the brink of insanity over the six months it had been cheerfully ticking away ten feet from his desk.
Matt sighed, trying futilely to divert his attention away from the ticking clock. It was 1:57, and Cai wasn’t supposed to be there until 2:00. It always amused Matt that he was probably better at reading clocks than people who could actually see them. The sound of each hand clicking and shifting was so clear in his mind. He sometimes wondered if he’d be able to use that practically somehow. Maybe carry a stopwatch on him while he was out at night, synching his movements with the ticks of the clock… he wasn’t sure how useful it’d be in a fight, though. Maybe he could time his swings to the ticks? Measure out how long to wait before lowering his guard? He didn’t know, truthfully.
That was just how Matt’s mind worked, though. He was always planning something practical, always wondering how some minor observation could carry through into a larger purpose. That was what being a defense attorney was all about, after all. Small, careful calculations levied toward the ultimate goal of freeing someone from an unjust sentence. Matt always thought like that. Always looking for some way to turn himself and all his little quirks into a force to help people. It was exhausting, frankly, and he knew it—but that didn’t matter much to him at the moment. What mattered was that the time was just on the verge of hitting two o’clock, and he would soon get to see Cai—
“Sorry I’m late!” a sheepish voice called out from the hallway. Matt immediately perked up when he heard her approaching. Normally he’d have been able to hear her from the second she entered the ground floor, but he’d been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he’d completely spaced out. It was a rare occurrence for Matt to lose himself in his own head like that—or at least it had been.
Ever since Matt and Cai had gotten together, there had been no shortage of moments where Matt found himself distracted or caught off guard. There was something almost pacifying about her presence, or perhaps disarming… either way, Matt wasn’t quite lucid around her. Their relationship had only been going for a month or so, but he was already quite infatuated with her. Matt was no stranger to short, passionate flings, but his attraction to Cai dipped beneath the surface he typically stayed above. She was beautiful, certainly, insofar as Matt could perceive beauty. Her voice was nice, which was a big plus for him—Matt sometimes wondered if he’d place so much value on voices if he weren’t blind. It was smooth and light, like a singer’s, almost. He’d never asked her if she did sing, but he was working up to it. Silly little questions like that almost felt less approachable than “want to have sex?” or “have you always been this gorgeous?”
Matt chuckled to himself as he heard Cai’s hurried footsteps outside the office, leading slowly up to the door. Once they’d reached their destination, he heard the half-rooted door swing open on its bent and rusted hinges, and Cai’s scent hit him full-on. She had this intoxicating aura that Matt had never been able to get enough of, always drawn in by the mix of fragrances she exuded. Cinnamon, vanilla, apples, orange blossoms, and a little bit of limestone—a result of New York’s shitty water system, he was sure, but he’d grown to appreciate the harsh note in her otherwise warm scent.
“Hey, pretty boy!” Cai giggled, walking up to his desk. Matt’s ears were superhuman, but he didn’t need sight or hearing to know Foggy was rolling his eyes across the room.
“Matthew Murdock, dating two of our secretaries in a row. What would the press think?” Foggy said, feigning disdain. “You were always one to stay on the straight and narrow, Murdock. Another good Catholic boy losing his way.”
“Alright, Foggy,” Matt chuckled. “Let’s not decide my career is over yet, please. Plus, we both know I’ve done worse than date my secretary.”
“Secretaries,” Foggy corrected him. “Don’t forget. Two. Dos. Dō.”
“You know I don’t speak Punjabi, Foggy,” Matt said, a silly grin spreading across his face.
Foggy’s face displayed an identical smile. “You could always learn! Though I guess you’ve already achieved what I was hoping to when I took those classes. Matthew Murdock, too good for seducing women through language classes.”
“You love to say my name, huh?”
Foggy rolled his eyes again. “Very much the opposite.” He began to shuffle a few papers around on his desk, tapping them into a straight and tidy stack, then plopping them down into his briefcase. He took a few moments more to assess the state of his desk—which was very messy, as far as Matt could tell from the constant sound of shifting stacks of paper—and then stood from his chair. “You two are wanting some privacy, I’d imagine,” Foggy said, stepping toward the office door. “And I’m wanting some falafel from the truck in the alley. So I will be a benevolent friend and give you two some space.”
“Do you know if Karen’s still in?” Matt asked.
Foggy’s face twisted in betrayal. “Not even a thank you? You’re heartless, Murdock. I go to all the trouble of eating on the street so you can distract our secretary and cause our business to go down under… and you can’t even so much as thank me. Unbelievable.”
And with that, Foggy stormed out of the office, leaving with a humorous huff. “AND YOU’D BE ABLE TO HEAR HER, YOU ASS!” Foggy added as he was halfway down the stairwell.
Matt stifled a snort. He would never admit it, but Foggy always managed to make his days better—even ones that were already going to be excellent. After regaining his composure, Matt turned to face Cai, shrugging nonchalantly. “He never answered my question.”
Cai giggled again. She plopped something down on Matt’s desk and hurried over to his side, wrapping her arms around him and placing a long kiss on his rough cheek.
“Someone’s excited,” Matt chuckled. “You’d think you hadn’t seen me for a year.”
“Even one day is too long,” Cai sighed. She did not release Matt from her embrace, but she did loosen it slightly as she nestled into his lap. She felt herself getting a little woozy from her proximity to Matt, something she silently hoped he experienced, too. She was sure it’d flatter him to know his mere presence had such an effect on her—she would’ve loved to hear the same.
“A day is long enough,” Matt agreed. He placed both hands on Cai’s hips, pulling her further up into his lap. One hand remained on her hip, cradling her close, while the other slid up to cup her cheek. “I missed you.”
“Of course you did,” Cai smiled. “You can’t keep your hands off me, can you?”
“The dominance doesn’t really pan out if you precede it with ‘even one day is too long,’ babe.”
Cai’s face faltered slightly, her confident smile replaced with a sheepish one. “I guess not, huh?”
“It is endearing, though,” Matt chuckled. “And you aren’t wrong.” He brought her face gently up to meet his, their lips colliding softly. Matt sunk his fingertips into Cai’s hip and felt hers sink into his nape, the rush of physical contact beginning to spread throughout his body. Even through his suit, contact with Cai was enough to start getting him riled up—though he made sure to remind himself that they were in his place of work.
After a few more moments together, Cai parted from Matt, sliding a hand up to his head to ruffle his hair. “You’re so silly,” she mused. “As much as I would love to make out with my boss in my place of work… I did actually bring something time-sensitive.”
Matt raised an eyebrow. “Time-sensitive?” It was at that moment that the truly overwhelming scent of fresh donuts hit Matt’s nose. Once again, Cai’s presence had somehow managed to dull his senses, leaving him completely unaware of the mysterious object’s identity until she’d pointed it out. It became obvious, then—Cai had brought donuts to the office. This, however, was not a particularly positive realization for Matt. In fact, his blood had begun to run cold once he’d realized the gravity of the situation.
“You don’t smell them?” Cai giggled. “You must be going soft in your old age. I thought you were supposed to have superpowers ,” she said, waving her hands in a faux-mysterious manner.
Matt winced at the word “soft.” Matt had been doing his damndest to keep up his training and regular night-time activities over the past month, but his relationship with Cai had taken an embarrassingly high toll on his body. He’d been eating out more, and eating far worse food in general. Cai loved to take him to restaurants and bars, insisting that he eat a full meal instead of just “pecking at appetizers” as he supposedly defaulted to. Matt obliged, and this had been causing some undesirable changes in his body.
Matt was nowhere near fat, but he had been chubbing up a little bit in various spots. His abs were never the most prominent, seeing as he was always quite bulky—in a muscular way, not in a… this way—but now they were properly obscured from view by a thick layer of pudge resting over his abdomen. His arms and legs had lost some of their definition as well, though he doubted it was easy to notice those particular changes. His face was more or less the same, too, as were his neck and back. No, it was primarily this new troublesome gut that bothered Matt, and it was somewhat frightening to imagine what a giant box of fresh donuts would do to fuel its growth. He’d already had enough trouble fitting into his shirt and suit that morning, and he’d be damned if he had to resort to buying a bigger suit before simply losing the weight .
“O-oh,” Matt said, gritting his teeth. “That’s phenomenally kind of you, Cai,” Matt said with a chuckle. “I’m, uh… I’ve been having a little indigestion this morning, though, so… Maybe just one?” He couldn’t bring himself to outright deny Cai’s kindness, but he also knew that him eating more than his fill was doing her an entirely new disservice. He heard how loudly her heart beat whenever he was eating—he was sure that she, too, was constantly worried about how big he might be getting from consuming in such excess.
Cai frowned. “Only one? You probably have indigestion because you haven’t eaten anything today, silly. Your diet is literally just coffee and the occasional desk mint if I’m not around to make you eat food ,” she teased, lightly punching him in the shoulder.
Matt feigned a pained reaction, wincing at the blow and clutching at it with his hand. “Agh, geez… twist my arm, why don’t you,” he groaned. “Fine, fine… I’ll eat your donuts. Just don’t hurt me anymore, please…”
Cai rolled her eyes—he’d had too much practice with Foggy to not recognize it—and gently slid off of Matt’s lap and back onto her feet. “Let me open it up for you. I’m sure you’ll be able to pick one out that you like, but I don’t want you stumbling around looking for a plate.”
“You know I run across rooftops and swing from rafters, right?” Matt asked as Cai began searching the office for any sign of disposable plates.
“Let me take care of you, stupid!” Cai called out, bending over to inspect the drawer underneath the coffee-brewing counter. “Don’t say things that make sense!”
Matt chuckled and settled back into his seat. He shook his head as he heard her rustling around in the various drawers around the room, desperately looking for anything that could serve as a plate. After a minute or two of hurried shuffling of papers and assorted objects, Cai gasped and triumphantly pulled something out of one of the drawers.
“There actually are plates! I was starting to think I’d misremembered them being here,” Cai sighed. “Here, I’m bringing them over now.”
“Foggy got them a while back, I think,” Matt said. “He expected us to have a lot more celebratory meals in the office, I guess. It, uh… It hasn’t quite panned out so fruitfully, this line of work.”
“Well, you can make up for it with a celebratory meal right now, can’t you?” Cai asked. She set the stack of plates down on Matt’s desk and plopped one down in front of his chair, taking her own seat across from him.
“Donuts are hardly a meal, Cai,” Matt chuckled. “And I’m not sure what we’d be celebrating in particular. Am I being a bad boyfriend and forgetting something crucial?”
Cai giggled. “No, nothing particular , I guess… but I never think it’s a bad idea to celebrate being with someone as wonderful as you.”
Matt nearly choked on his own breath as it caught in his throat. Cai still had the ability to disarm him entirely with the simplest statements. He felt so silly for being so thoroughly affected by it, but it wasn’t something he was accustomed to, especially regarding previous partners.
“Something wrong?” Cai asked, unable to hide her budding grin. She wasn’t sure if Matt would be able to detect the subtle stretching of her facial muscles, but it was too hard to avoid smiling when it was this doof in front of her.
“N-no, nothing wrong,” Matt said, clearing his throat. “Anyways, uh… donuts, huh?”
“Donuts indeed,” Cai nodded. “You wanna pick one out first, baby?”
Matt did not want to pick one out first. Even approaching the idea of eating something as overtly unhealthy as a donut was causing him serious anxiety, but he didn’t want to shirk Cai’s kindness, and more importantly, he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was concerned about his eating habits. He figured that if he evaded detection for long enough that he’d be able to course-correct his diet and get his physical fitness back on track, but these donuts were proving a worthy opponent and a significant impediment to that goal.
“I… do you have any recommendations?” Matt asked, hoping he’d be able to coax her into picking a smaller or unhealthier one for him.
“Hmm…” Cai narrowed her eyes, appearing deep in thought for a moment. “I… Oh! Here’s the perfect one,” she said. Cai gently removed one of the donuts from the box and plopped it onto Matt’s plate.
The scent of the isolated donut hit his nose shortly after it hit the plate, and he immediately regretted his decision. She had, of course, chosen something with a generous application of chocolate icing, and what smelled like Boston cream inside the outer shell. It was perhaps the most caloric thing she could’ve picked, but decidedly one of the most delicious. It was just like Cai to give Matt the best of the bunch, something he silently appreciated and resented.
“Hey. That’s a great choice,” Matt said, forcing a chuckle. “You better be eating some of these too, though. I’m not gonna be the only one in this office ruining my daily intake, alright?”
Cai giggled. “Of course, of course. I’m probably just as hungry as you, anyway,” she said. Cai nabbed a donut for herself and plopped it onto her own plate. “I hope you don’t mind me stealing the one—it’s definitely my favorite.”
As luck would have it, she picked out a lemon-filled one—which also happened to be Matt’s favorite. He didn’t dare say a word, though, as he was sure he was already going to look like enough of a fatass without asking for a second donut right off the bat—her favorite, no less.
“Not at all,” Matt smiled. “Alright, I don’t know about you, but I usually can’t manage more than one of these things, so I’m gonna try and savor this.”
Cai raised an eyebrow. “You can’t? How the hell did you get so big with such a small appetite, babe?”
Matt’s blood ran cold. Did she just openly call him fat? Had she been cognizant of his size his whole time? The gain had been almost imperceptible, hadn’t it? He felt his breath catch in his throat as he tried to say something, but found himself cut off as Cai continued her thought.
“People typically don’t get muscles like that without having at least some kind of appetite. Or is this just specifically a donuts thing?”
Matt couldn’t have felt more relieved than he did at that moment. “Yeah, it’s a donuts thing,” he said, relieved to have been given an out. He could only hope that discussing his musculature really had been her intention, but he was more than happy to accept the excuse handed to him on a silver platter.
“Makes sense,” Cai shrugged. “They don’t fill me up much, but it is just a bunch of dough and sugar. It’s not exactly a salad,” she giggled.
“That’s true. A donut, is, in fact, not a salad.”
“Thank you for clearing that up, honey,” Cai laughed. “Okay, they’re gonna get cold and gross if we don’t eat them. No more jokes about salads.”
“You sure? I’ve got at least five more ready to go.”
“ Yes , I am sure,” Cai said. “Now eat. I bought these for you, so if you don’t eat them I’ll feel like you hate me. And you don’t hate me, do you?”
Matt chuckled. “I do not hate you, no.”
“Good!” Cai smiled. “So eat.”
Matt sighed. “If I must. The burdens I must bear, huh? Having a kind girlfriend and eating donuts with her. Guys have nightmares about this stuff, y’know.”
Cai laughed, but it was muffled by the mouthful of donut she’d just bitten off. She seemed amused by the joke, but was allowing herself to become focused on the food instead of their conversation. Recognizing this, Matt winced as he realized there was no further stalling he could do. He really was going to have to just bite the bullet—and the donut.
Matt cautiously picked the donut up and lifted it to his mouth, taking a slow and calculated bite. He relished in the sickeningly sweet flavor washing over his tongue, the flavor of smooth chocolate and rich cream nearly inducing an audible reaction in him. He managed to keep himself under control, but he resented just how delicious the donut was. It made him feel like an enormous fatass to be so pleased by something as stupid as a donut… but he couldn’t help how delicious it was.
Matt took another bite, sinking deeper into the cream-filled center. He was conscious of the speed at which he was eating, but he hoped desperately that Cai was too occupied with her own donut to recognize it, too. He wasn’t sure if he really was just that hungry or if the donut was that good, but his compulsion to devour the donut was becoming steadily stronger. He wanted to down it in two massive bites, not peck at it like a bird.
“You enjoying the donut, honey?” Cai asked, wiping glaze off the corner of her mouth. “They’re really good, right? This is easily my favorite place in the neighborhood,” she giggled. “They’re the best.”
Matt nodded, swallowing the mouthful of dough and cream as quickly as he could. “Yeah, it’s a real winner,” he agreed. “Just, uh… gotta take my time with it. Don’t wanna eat too fast and get sick.”
Cai tilted her head as she looked at him, seemingly trying to analyze his expression or his words, but she eventually shrugged and returned to eating her own donut.
Matt was tired of dancing around the prospect of eating a singular donut. It was truly silly that he felt so embarrassed about doing something like eating in front of his partner. Just because he’d put on a little bit of weight? That didn’t make any sense, and if it’d been Cai that put on the weight, he’d have been quick to assure her that it didn’t matter to him one way or the other. Allowing his own insecurities to get in the way of the simplest of things… Matt didn’t want to be that guy.
Matt shook off his trepidation and forced himself to take another bite, sinking his teeth deep into the pastry. He wolfed the rest of it down as quickly as he could, hoping to polish it off before he could change his mind again.
"You really must have been hungry," Cai chuckled. "How hard have you been working today? I thought Foggy said it was a relatively lax day for you guys. Isn't that why we picked today to have lunch?"
Matt nearly choked. "Oh, y'know, it's, uhh…" he stammered, unsure of how to respond. "Definitely was a light work day, nothing too serious. I just… the donut was good, y'know?" Matt hoped that his winning smile and soft chuckle would help get Cai off his case, but it appeared to be largely ineffective.
Cai grinned. "Oh yeah? I told you they were going to be good, didn't I?" She smiled as she began rooting around in the box again, retrieving a second donut and placing it on Matt's plate. "Here, try this one next. This one is cream-filled, too, but it's got maple glaze instead. It's seriously good."
It was at this point that Matt conclusively determined that he had made a mistake in finishing that donut. His zeal had been his undoing, and he made himself appear far too hungry for his own good. Granted, he was very hungry, but he certainly didn't want Cai to know that.
"Oh, I couldn't possibly have another one," Matt said, waving his hand dismissively. "Like I said, they fill me up a lot."
Cai pouted. "Aw, really? But I got them special just for you and me… you sure you can't have just a couple more?"
Matt was really starting to get worried now. A couple more? He had been hesitant to finish even one whole donut, so the prospect of eating several more was positively cataclysmic. He could already feel his belt buckle tightening from all that sugar and dough in his gut… but how is he supposed to say no to Cai?
"C'mon," Cai said softly. "I want you to enjoy yourself. Have a couple more."
Hesitantly, Matt reached down and picked up the donut on his plate. He raced it to his mouth and took a bite, once again overwhelmed by just how high quality these pastries were. It really was embarrassing how much he was enjoying himself, as Matt had never really felt that he was much of a foodie. For some reason, eating always felt more rewarding around Cai. He suspected that he just enjoyed having someone doting on him, but the fact remained that food just tasted better when he was around her.
"Good?" Cai asked, a look of anticipation on her face.
"Very," Matt said between mouthfuls.
He wasn't lying, the donut was indeed very good. He was hesitant to finish this one nearly as fast as he had the first, but he seemed quite unable to help himself. It disappeared into his gullet in less than a minute, and he found his plate refilled once again by Cai. She had scarcely given him more than a couple of seconds to regain his bearings after finishing the second donut before she'd already selected and placed a new one in front of him.
"Oh, Cai, I really don't think—"
"Just eat," Cai said.
Her voice was the tiniest bit firmer than it usually was—it would have been an almost imperceptible shift to most people, but it was like a claxon going off in Matt's head. It was like an entirely new intent had taken hold of her, and she was steadily becoming more and more insistent. Matt couldn't ascertain any specific reason as to why, but he figured that defying her request would only serve to upset her, and that was the furthest thing from what Matt wanted.
Obediently, Matt picked up the third donut and ate it just as quickly as the first two. A fourth followed soon after, as did a fifth, a sixth, and a seventh… before much time had passed, Matt had wolfed down nine of the 13 donuts in the box, and he was fully reclined in his chair, his hands resting atop his bloated stomach.
Matt was groaning softly as he feebly attempted to relieve some of the pressure in his stomach. He gently pressed his fingertips into the sides of his gut, working them in short, tight circles, hoping some of the gas would find its way out. A few short belches followed, but nothing particularly substantial—leaving Matt in his overstuffed, uncomfortable state.
"Weren't those so good?" Cai giggled. "I told you that they would be excellent. I knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from eating them," she said. There was almost an air of triumph in her voice, as though she had achieved something by getting him to stuff himself to the gills.
Matt was too busy nursing his aching gut to notice her tonal shift, however, and he continued to wince every so often at the pain deep inside his tummy. He was being assailed by a brutal combination of engorgement, indigestion, and embarrassment—all of which he blamed the donuts for. He couldn't believe that he had made such a pig of himself in front of Cai, and he was starting to feel the embarrassment take center stage over his other two ailments.
"Oh, you must just be dying in that tight suit, aren't you?" Cai whispered. She rose from her seat and stepped over to his side of the desk, kneeling beside him and gently placing a hand on his stomach. "Do you want me to unbuckle this for you?" she asked softly.
Matt was mortified at Cai's implicit acknowledgment of how round his belly was, but he was suffering too much to rebuff her offer. He nodded quietly as he continued to rub the sides of his stomach, hoping that her assistance would at least bring some minor relief to his horrific nausea.
Thankfully, her assistance did help quite a bit, as her unbuckling of his belt and her subsequent gentle belly rubs made a world of difference. He felt her small, soft hands make contact with his bare abdomen, her skin against his almost immediately sending waves of relief pulsing through his body. He had always likened physical contact with Cai to an aphrodisiac—typically when he was making some cheesy flirtatious comment—but it really did feel impossibly pleasurable in that moment.
"Better?" Cai cooed. Matt could hear a smile growing on Cai's face, such an intense grin that he would have guessed that even people without his enhanced hearing would have been able to hear her facial muscles contorting.
"Better," Matt confirmed, his voice a tad meeker than usual.
Cai giggled and planted a quick kiss on his forehead. "Good, I'm glad. Thank you for eating all of those for me, I'm really glad that you enjoyed them."
Matt was too woozy to pay much attention to what she was saying, but he was mildly confused as to the nature of her statement. Why was she acting as though he'd done her a favor? Hadn't he pigged out and made an embarrassment of himself?
"I've got to run," Cai said, gathering her things and closing the box of donuts. "I've got to go grab something from my mom's house before she goes downtown for her mahjong club meeting this afternoon. I'll leave the leftovers here for you in case you get hungry later, okay? I'm looking forward to seeing you for dinner this evening once you get off. I'll meet you in the lobby like always!"
With that, Cai was gone from the room, leaving Matt alone at his desk with a gut still packed full of donuts. He was still somewhat bewildered at how their lunch date had panned out, but he was mostly surprised at the distinct lack of embarrassment that he was currently feeling. She'd been so kind and gentle with him… and she'd almost seemed pleased that he'd eaten so much. It was an odd feeling, thinking that perhaps a woman would enjoy something other than complete physical perfection from him—but he didn't want to waste time trying to puzzle that out right now. He was listening astutely to the sound of Cai's footsteps descending the hallway stairwell and heading down into the lobby, and once he was absolutely certain that she was gone, he quickly reopened the box of donuts and plucked out one of the last three pastries. He sank his teeth into the warm, soft dough, sighing contentedly as the sweet flavor washed over his tongue. He had to admit—this place really did have the best donuts in New York.