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Chapter Text

A lot of things happened on Diluc's eighteenth birthday, most of which, if not all, were bad. No, not just bad, that would be downplaying it, too much. It was awful. The things that transpired on that day literally changed the redhead's life forever. It was unfair; but then again, so was life, itself. Diluc remembers a saying ...When happiness is destroyed, there is always the smell of blood. Unfortunately, he finds that it's extremely accurate. There was blood on his father when Ursa attacked. There was blood on his mother when she lied weakly in her deathbed. And there was blood on Kaeya when Diluc had tried to kill him.

The redhead was sure that this applied to his enemies, too. The moment the smell of crimson caught the attention of a Fatui scum, they knew it was over for them. Their pride disappears in an instant, which Diluc found strangely satisfying at times. Gods, when did he become such a sadist? Though, the Fatui hurt him first, so in a way, it's reasonable, right?

Every time he brought down his flaming claymore, it was in the name of justice and retribution. But they were still people.

That's right. All of those Fatui Agents, those scum, the 'lowest of the low', at least to him. They remained human beings. They had thoughts, feelings, people who cared about them...Diluc was hit brutally in the face with this fact when he saw how the Fatui troop's expressions fell the same time their leader did. Some had called out their name, shook them, cried, begged for death to take anyone but them. Death isn't something that can be fixed with an apology. 

The redhead knew that, if that Cryo Vision had shown up even the last bit later, he would've killed his brother on that night. Murdered him. That would've made twice, on that day. But thank Archons it didn't. Instead, Diluc had told him to leave, that Kaeya was not his brother, and that he never was. That was a lie. The bluenette was, still, and always has been Diluc's brother. From the moment they met to the moment they fell apart. 

Sometimes, the redhead finds himself wondering how his brother's doing now. Good, he hopes. Diluc had left before the Knights could dig up their father's will, and knowing how much Crepus loved Kaeya, he would definitely leave something in his name for him. Perhaps the winery? Diluc wouldn't mind that. If that's what their father put as his final wishes, and if Kaeya wished to have it, then it was all the bluenette's. Diluc wouldn't argue, he wasn't allowed to. Not after everything...

He would be lying to say he hadn't thought of coming back home. However, Diluc wouldn't allow himself to go back. For now, at least. 

He distinctly remembers running until he reached snow; Dragonspine. His entire body ached. Everything was so cold, though, he wasn't sure if it was from the cold climate, or the Cryo Vision that he found himself having. The bluenette wasn't sure if he was given one out of pity, or if this was Celestia's way of laughing at his misery. Either way, he refused to look at it any more than he needed to; in fact, he'd rather not look at it, at all. It was just a stupid reminder of what he's lost and what he failed to do. 

His boots trudged through the snowy plains, continuing on despite his injuries. He needed to go, he needed to leave Mondstadt. His brother...No. No longer his brother. As much as it hurt, he couldn't call Diluc that anymore. The redhead was never his family, nor was Master Crepus, or Adelinde, or anyone else in the City of Freedom. He didn't belong there; he wasn't free. Forever brought down by the chains of his homeland. 

. . .

His body tensed. He couldn't keep going...Taking a small nap wouldn't hurt, right?

Diluc wasn't expecting to return to an empty winery. Well, almost empty. Adelinde was there, although unconscious. It felt like the first time he's seen her take a break in, well, ever. With that in mind, he chooses not to disturb her slumber. The redhead made his way to his room, where he found everything to be the exact same as he left it. Neat, tidy, and a bottle of wine left by Jean as a gift. It was from Liyue, apparently. If Diluc hadn't been so focused on revenge, he would've tried all kinds of wine throughout Teyvat; not that he particularly enjoyed wine. He had simply hoped that he could use it as reference in an effort to get a wider variety for Angel's Share's menu. Though, he couldn't care less about that right now. 

There was a question that lingered in the back of Diluc's mind: Where was Kaeya?

The redhead looked all over the winery, including the bluenette's room. However, it was in a similar state as his own. Perhaps he was simply at work? Though, Diluc wondered if Kaeya was even still in the Knights. Or did he choose to work at Angel's Share, instead, like their father had secretly hoped for the two of them? Only one way to find out. 

It was a little disappointing for Diluc, to leave home right after he just got back. But he'll be quick. Just a quick check-in with Jean, and perhaps Charles, if his suspicions turned out to be true. Speaking of Jean, Diluc heard from his informants that she had become the Acting Grandmaster, ever since Grandmaster Varka had gone on an expedition. The redhead didn't dare to ask for information about his little brother. No matter how much he wanted to know how he was doing and if he was ok, he prevented himself from knowing. He had to focus on retribution, justice. But now he was done with that, he needn't stop himself from seeing his brother again, even if the bluenette wasn't willing to let him into his life. Diluc was fine with that. 

Even just the smallest of glance would be fine with him. 

...Unfortunately, Barbatos couldn't give him even that. 

When Kaeya finally woke up, it felt like he had been asleep for more than a hundred years. His body didn't ache anymore; he didn't feel tired. Upon taking a good look at his body, he realized that his injuries had disappeared. That was...strange. Those don't usually heal overnight, right? He looked at his hands and realzed that his fingernails grew, just a little bit. They were sharp, too, for some reason. 

But above all else, he felt hungry. REALLY hungry. It was then that he sensed something that could ease that hunger. 

Chapter Text

The Knights of Favonius building didn't change much, throughout Diluc's absence. Though, the lack of numbers within the staff was very noticeable. The redhead still held hatred towards the Knights and their incompetency. But if his brother really were still a member of the Ordo, then he supposes that he could set his grudge aside for a little while. A few of the older knights recognized and even greeted him, only to be met with a glare. Finally, he reached the Acting Grandmaster's office. And for a moment, he hesitated. He wondered how Jean would react to his return. Would she be happy? Mad? Confused?

The redhead doesn't recall ever leaving any sort of note explaining his disappearance. That must've left Jean and his former Cavalry in an utter state of bewilderment. A part of him regrets doing that, while another assured him that it was for the best. He wasn't that good of a Captain, anyway. Surely, his sudden resignation (if it could even be called that) wasn't the reason for the Knights' scarcity in its members. It could be a result of a whole bunch of things. Though, Diluc would rather not think about that right now. 

He sighed, "It's just Jean." He told himself, "She's your friend." 

But does she think the same? Diluc thought. People can change a lot within six months, he knew that very well. 

"This is stupid." Diluc muttered, "I could've just waited for Addie to wake up, or asked Charles, first." 

The redhead turned around, ready to make his leave. 

"Master Diluc?" A familiar voice called out, 

Diluc lifted his gaze, and saw a face he hadn't seen in a while, not even before he left. 

"Barbara?" He said, "You look...Older." Obviously.

"Ah, thank you?" The girl replied, "I mean, I'm turning seventeen soon." 

"Happy early birthday, then." 

Barbara smiled, "I appreciate it. Though, I have to ask...What are you doing in Jean's- I mean, Master Jean's office?" 

"I was actually just about to leave," Diluc responded, "...Say, have you, by any chance, seen Kaeya around? I need to talk to him; it's...important." 

The girl's face contorted into something that could only be described as pity.

"Oh, Master Diluc..." 

The redhead expressed confusion through his words, "Is something wrong?"

"About Sir Kaeya..." 

Immediately, his mind went to all the worst places. Had Kaeya been hurt? Gravely injured? Gotten sick with some fatal disease? Hell, had he already died while his big brother, who was supposed to protect him no matter what, was out killing Fatui Agents who might as well have been innocent?...The redhead hoped for none of the above, and yet, taking into account Barbara's expression and Kaeya's absence at the winery, he knew that there was a very big chance that some of, if not all, were true.

"Barbara," Diluc began, "What happened to Kaeya...?"

The girl was hesitant, just as he was just minutes before. 

"Barbara, please," The redhead gripped her shoulders, pleading, "What happened to my little brother?"

Diluc scratched the idea of heading to Angel's Share. Instead, all of his previous unwillingness had disappeared, and he opened the door to Jean's office with a slam.

Six months ago, Jean's best friends disappeared. At the same time, on the same day. There wasn't a warning for either. For Diluc, he had simply left his Vision behind. As for Kaeya, there was nothing. 

Nothing but a trail of blood that Albedo confirmed to be his. It left Jean to wonder what went wrong. The day they left was Diluc's birthday, which had been a cause for celebration. Well, it would've been, if it weren't for the death of Master Crepus. Then, according to Adelinde, the two brothers had an argument. The subject of it remained unknown, even to her. It didn't take long for Jean to piece together what had most likely happened. 

The two brothers had an argument, which then escalated, thus Diluc ran off, followed by Kaeya doing the same. She doubts that the bluenette had went with Diluc, since it would diminish her previous point. Unless the two somehow made up and decided to run away together. But that didn't sound like her best friends. They would usually need a day or two before forgiving each other and putting whatever they had going on behind them. 

If the two really had run off together, then why was Diluc back, in her office, demanding an explanation as to why the other wasn't? 

"Jean, are you listening to me?!" The redhead exclaimed, "Where is he? Why isn't anyone looking for him? Goddamned knights, always so inefficient." 

Barbatos, help her. 

He made a mistake. An awful, terrifying mistake. That poor knight...He must've been sent to survey the area, unaware of the danger that had recently taken up shelter in Dragonspine. He stared at his shaking hands. The tips of his fingernails claws were red, and it trailed down to his palm. He glances at the slash marks on the knight's armor, knowing that he was the one who did that. He killed that knight. 

He killed him because he was hungry.

He still is.

Chapter Text

Kaeya didn't remember much of Khaenri'ah, other than it was dark and cold. Though, there was one memory that he could recall with upmost clarity. It wasn't good, that's for sure. It had been when his mother, who was affected by the curse cast upon their people, lost all sense of self. The kind and caring woman became violent with a thirst for blood. Literal thirst for blood. He vividly remembers her feasting on the corpse of her dead sister, as the guards (who were much too young for their line of work, or even work in general) stood frozen in fear. They didn't stand a chance against her and her newfound strength. Neither did Kaeya. 

His mother was the reason he wore an eyepatch most of the time, refusing to expose the scar from her clawed nails. He was certain that if it hadn't been for the bough keeper, she would have devoured him as well. But just as she was about to do so, she was beheaded. Her corpse sagged to the ground as it dissolved to dust. When one was turned into a demon and is killed as one, not even their bones will remain. 

An insult to injury is what it was. Unfair punishment. The result of a grudge that was dragged out far longer than it needed to be. His ancestors must've done something truly awful to deserve something like this. Perhaps it was something that couldn't be forgiven...He wasn't sure.

Kaeya had been one of the very few, if not the only, persons who had not been touched by the curse. Actually, that was a lie. He, like his people, was destined to become a mindless creature of destruction. Always taking but never giving; a parasite. However, just as Khaenri'ah threatened to fall, he was saved. (Not really.) They had discovered a means to seal the curse and had sent him to the surface shortly thereafter, but not without purpose. He vaguely recalls being told that in order to keep their Nation alive, he must exact vengeance on those who destroyed it.

Being a child, Kaeya couldn't follow through with this mission. But even if he wasn't, it was unlikely that he would've been able to land even a single hit on Barbatos, let alone any of the other Archons. 

In the end, he couldn't do anything of note to help his Nation, which had been long-gone, anyway. Still, his naïve child-self believed that he was their hope, and that one day, he could bring them the sunlight that they so desired since the beginning. 

Unfortunately, demons die when exposed to sunlight. 

Red pooled underneath that knight's lifeless body, staining the ever so white snow. Kaeya stared at what could only be the result of his own instincts. Said instincts were animalistic and predatory. They roared at him, constantly, as his hunger refused to die down. After making a small, makeshift grave for the knight, he fled the scene. The bluenette went deeper into Dragonspine, no longer affected by the cold; though, not for the same reason as some allogenes. 

Eventually, he found a cave, which had been home to a Hilichurl pack that he slaughtered upon meeting. Soon after, he ate their remains. But it didn't replenish as much energy as the knight had. However, the bluenette refused to eat another human. He felt sick and disgusted by his own actions. Eating the blood and flesh of another person made him feel like some sort beast; he is a beast.

Even in the days that followed, as he gradually came to accept that fact, he fought to to not give in to his instincts. He refused no matter how much they clawed at him, tortured him with the want for yet another meal. Instead, he hunted and devoured roaming Hilichurls and Abyss Mages. It's not that Kaeya was unaware of these creatures' true identities; he simply decided not to regard them as people. Because of that, he felt like a traitor deep within himself. But he buried the feeling, along with the very last traces of his humanity that remained.

...But he never really was human, was he?

Diluc is as stubborn as ever; at least that hasn't changed, Jean mentally notes. He refused to leave her office until given a proper explanation, and Jean couldn't blame him for that. Kaeya was Diluc's brother, after all. They may not look like it, but they were. Even if the universe were about to collapse and the only way to save it were for them to say that they weren't, then best be willing to say goodbye to life as we know it. 

The Dandelion Knight groaned and massaged her brow. Even though she had only been Grandmaster for six months, she was already worn out. Many things have happened in those few but agonizingly long months. Among these were the Ragnvinder Brothers, who vanished on the same night their father died. Then a traitor was found within the ranks of the Ordo. Afterwards, the Fatui have began to run rampant throughout the city, not necessarily causing trouble, but certainly making things tense and stressful when it came to the relationship between Mond and Snezhnaya. 

And finally, this. 

Diluc had returned, but without Kaeya. This cemented her theory that the two did not leave together; unfortunately, that also meant that her speculation as to why they disappeared became more probable. 

"Jean, why hasn't anyone tried looking for him? Do the knights really undervalue their own members that much?" 

"We don't undervalue them." Jean snapped, "Listen, by the time that we realized you were both gone, we discovered that Eroch was a traitor," 

Diluc paused for a moment, "I can't say I'm surprised." 

Jean doesn't say anything to that, because in all honesty, she wasn't, either. 

"But what does that have to with anything?" The redhead asked,

"Well, by the time we kicked Eroch out, Grandmaster Varka went on an expedition and took half of the knights with him, leaving me with the title of Acting Grandmaster." The Dandelion Knight explained, "Because of that, we no longer have the numbers to send out a search party, even a small one." 

Diluc sighed, "Knights of Favonius, always so inefficient." 

"You've said that twice now, is that becoming your new catchphrase?" She intended for it to be a joke, but it came out in a bitter, uncharacteristic tone, taking the redhead aback, just a little,

"...Well, I see that this new position has taken a toll on you." He commented,

"You could say that." 

"Jean," The redhead stepped forward, "I just want to find Kaeya," 

"You think I don't want that, too?"

"No, that's not what I-" He sighed once more, "...I messed up, alright? It was the biggest mistake I could've ever made, and now, I have to make up for it...And it starts with finding Kaeya." 

The Acting Grandmaster was silent.

"Jean?" 

"I tried looking for him." She said, "I really tried. Eventually, I just assumed you two ran away together. But, now, I'm starting to think that I was just a failure."

"Jean," The redhead gave her a stern look, "You're not." 

"How would you know? You weren't here; you left. Both of you did. Neither of you even bothered to tell me..." Her voice trembled, and she let it; Diluc was one of the very few people Jean allowed herself to be vulnerable with, and that wasn't gonna change, no matter how long it's been. 

"Jeanie," Diluc's gaze softened, "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I promise that I'll help you as much as I can. You may be the Dandelion Knight and the Acting Grandmaster but you can't do this alone." 

"Neither can you." 

"I never said I could." Diluc smiled at her, 

"Fair." Jean smiled back, 

Outside of the room, stood Barbara, who found herself feeling warm upon hearing this exchange. She prays that Barbatos helps them on their journey.