Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Well done, Hound.” 

ANBU operative Hound remains frozen in his kneeling position, one knee firmly on the floor with the other tucked close to his chest, ready to kick off as soon as he’s dismissed. The knuckles of his left arm rests on the floor, supporting his body, and his head remains bowed without acknowledging the praise from his Hokage. It is a position he has taken many times before, if not so often in front of this Hokage. 

Lady Senju Tsunade has only been the Hokage for two months, but Hound has a healthy respect for her nonetheless. He would have to be a fool not to. She’s not only famous for her skills as a medical ninja, after all, but also for her ability to move mountains with one blow of her fists. Literally. Even so, it’s not primarily out of respect that he remains kneeling. No, the sad truth is that his head is spinning with exhaustion and he’s currently contemplating the possibility of falling asleep as he is, comfort be damned. 

“I will want your written report on my desk within the next few days,” the Hokage continues, seemingly unaware of Hound’s thoughts. “I’ll try to give you a few days off at least. A week, if possible.” 

“Of course, Hokage-sama. Thank you.” 

It is with pure willpower that he manages to keep his eye open behind the mask, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult with every passing minute. 

“And report to the hospital before you head home tonight.” 

“Understood.” 

“Then you are dismissed.” 

The air is cold and refreshing when he exits the Hokage Tower into the dark November evening, briefly nodding to the guards before making his way down the familiar streets. Almost no signs remain of the invasion almost four months earlier, when Sound and Sand joined forces against Konoha and Orochimaru killed the Third Hokage. 

Hound does not head for the hospital. His dislike of hospitals and medics is well known enough that he’s pretty sure Hokage-sama would have marched him there herself if she thought he really needed it. The fact that she didn’t is pretty much proof that all he needs is a hot shower and a good night’s sleep. Or maybe a few nights. 

Shower first, he thinks, already longing to be rid of the dirty clothes and the grime of the mission. He’s pretty sure he has at least three different people's blood on him, excluding his own. 

The lights are on, he notices as he approaches the apartment. Momentarily he frowns, confused, but then he remembers. Sakura. 

Right. 

They’d had just enough time to file the paperwork, removing her from the general Genin Corps and officially making her his apprentice, and move her into his apartment before he’d had to leave on another mission. Which was, uh, about a month ago? Yeah, something like that. 

Probably not a good start for an apprenticeship, he thinks. But hey, at least the apartment is still standing, so at least there’s that. 

Hound shakes his head ruefully. He has an apprentice now. Or rather, Kakashi has an apprentice. Hound is too smart to let people get that close to him again. Weasel’s betrayal is still a fresh wound, even though it’s been years already. 

He pushes both that thought and the Hound-persona away until he finds himself in that mental grey-zone that is somewhere in between Hound and Kakashi. Still in Hound’s uniform and with Hound’s post-mission exhaustion he puts the key into the lock and twists it around. 

The door does not unlock. 

He repeats the gesture, more firmly this time, and pushes to open the door. 

It remains firmly locked and closed. 

What the ..? He double checks that it’s the right apartment - it is, he’s not that tired - and tries again. To no avail. 

Taking a step back he pulls the key out, inspecting it closer. It looks just the same as it always has. A similar inspection of the lock, however, reveals that it is not the same. It’s … shinier than usual. 

Before he can inspect it further the door unlocks and opens slightly, allowing a pudgy, middle-aged woman he has never seen before to peer out at him. 

“ANBU-san?” the woman says, her voice both worried and confused. “Is there a problem, or ..?” 

Hound-Kakashi blinks at her in confusion. “This is my apartment.” He speaks the words slowly, unsure whether it is she or him that has lost their mind. 

She looks just as puzzled as he feels, and then she smiles in sudden understanding. 

“Oh, you must be the jounin-fella who lived here before! Your daughter left a note for you, in case you’d come by, just you wait here a moment and I’ll …” She disappears into the apartment, leaving Hound-Kakashi to stare quietly at the door that used to be his. 

… daughter? 

From the scents wafting through the open door he can tell that they’ve had curry for dinner, she and the other two people currently in the apartment. Apart from the woman, there’s two males, or rather boys from the scent; one somewhere between toddler and puberty, and one still young enough to require diapers. His own scent has faded away, overtaken by the current occupants and lemon-scented cleaners. 

It’s true then, he concludes. Sometime during the last month-long mission his apartment has been leased to someone else. But why? 

“Ah, here it is! Sorry for the wait!” 

The woman returns and hands him a letter with his name on it, written in neat, familiar writing that at least tells him who his “daughter” is. He sees no reason to go through the trouble of correcting the woman on the matter.  

“And your daughter said not to worry about your belongings, she’s got it all packed and stored for you. Such a lovely girl! You must be very proud of her?” 

Hound-Kakashi accepts the letter with a wordless nod of gratitude and turns to leave without acknowledging the last part. He can feel her eyes on his back as he makes his way back down the stairs, no doubt disappointed with his lack of answer. Still, she refrains from saying anything else and finally closes the door behind him. The ANBU-uniform is good that way, in that it encourages people to leave him alone. 

When he steps out into the streets he opens the letter and scans its content, quietly raising his eyebrows the further he reads. 

Seems like his plans for a shower and bed will have to wait a bit longer. 

First, he has an apprentice to find. 

With a grim expression beneath his masks, he pockets the letter and stalks away to do just that. 

Sakura curses quietly to herself as she hurries through the corridor towards her room in the Genin Corps dormitories. Normally, the walk between the shared baths and her room isn’t too far, but being butt naked and only having a small towel to cover herself with certainly makes it seem much farther than usual. Add to that the threat of whoever had seen fit to steal her clothes and her bathrobe possibly laying in wait for her, just waiting to further humiliate her, and the distance seems positively endless! 

As she finally - finally! - reaches the door to her room, she fumbles a little, trying to retain her grip on both the towel and the basket with her shampoo and other shower essentials, and also opening the door. She nearly drops the basket but finally gets the door open and hurries inside, pushing the door closed behind her. 

Back in her room at last, she breathes a sigh of relief and allows herself to collapse on the bed. 

Things have certainly changed, she thinks as she stares at the ceiling. She’d just about gotten used to life in the Genin Dormitories and even sharing a room with Tomomi and AImi, before she’d lost her mind and accepted an apprenticeship with Kakashi. Her stupid jounin-sensei who’d never shown an ounce of interest in her before, at least not until both of her other, stupid teammates - Naruto and Sasuke - had left the village in pursuit of other teachers. But she’d wanted to believe him when he’d said that he’d be there for her from then on, and so she’d accepted the apprenticeship despite the fact that she should have known better. They’d even signed the apprenticeship papers, and he’d moved her into his apartment and everything! 

And now, here she is. Back in the Genin Corps dormitories again, sans sensei and sans teammates. Homeless and broke again, if it weren’t for the kindness of the Genin Commander, who’d allowed her to return to sharing a room with Tomomi and Aimi even though she’s no longer formally part of the Genin Corps. 

She should have known better than to trust Kakashi-sensei. 

Except … that’s not entirely fair, she has to acknowledge, if only to herself. It’s not his fault that the village is understaffed and he’d been sent on a mission that was apparently over a month long. And it’s not as if she could have joined him on the mission. He’s a jounin, after all, and she’s still just a genin. She’d just be in the way. Logically she can accept all of that. 

With a frustrated sigh she stands again to search her wardrobe for some underwear and pyjamas. It’s getting late and she should get some sleep. Even if she technically has no mission or training to get up to in the morning. 

“Stupid, fucking paperwork,” she mutters as she puts her knickers on. “Stupid, fucking sensei who can’t even file some paperwork properly ..!” 

Because while she was officially no longer part of the Genin Corps, the apprenticeship papers had apparently not been properly filed either, leaving Sakura in a grey-zone with no formal immediate superior. Not formally Kakashi’s apprentice, but also no longer part of the Genin Corps. 

She reaches for a t-shirt and pulls it over her head, growling angrily as she accidentally tears it apart. With a couple of deep breaths she forces herself to calm down before stepping out of the ragged remains, kicking them aside to be dealt with later. It’s a clean tear, so she will probably be able to fix it later. For now, she searches her wardrobe for something else to wear. 

Truth to be told, it's the loneliness that troubles Sakura, more than anything else. Team 7 is gone. Naruto, gone to train with Jiraiya and Sasuke, a traitor - leaving Sakura to deal with the suspicious glares and distrust of her fellow shinobi, as well as the occasional petty prank, such as having her clothes stolen tonight. No doubt they’ll appear somewhere humiliating within a day or two. Tomomi, Hajime and the others had been able to shield her from the worst of it, but they’ve been away from the village on a mission for the last week, forcing Sakura to fend for herself against fellow genin who either suspect her of being another traitor or at least a stuck up jerk in need of a reality check. 

She has just found another t-shirt when there’s a creaking noise behind her. Not the door opening but the window - which she’d left ajar to let some fresh air in while she took her shower. Sakura freezes for a moment, still bent over. Then, she shrieks. 

An ear-piercing scream greets Hound-Kakashi, and a moment later he’s forced to dodge as a shampoo-bottle is chucked at his head. The room’s resident - whom he’d missed, as she’d apparently been mostly swallowed by the wardrobe - hastily covers herself with a towel before another bottle follows the shampoo. He dodges that too, hastily backing away into the nearest corning, raising his hands to show that he’s unarmed. 

“Who are you and what the fuck are you doing here?!” 

Sakura’s voice is harsh, loud and trembling almost as badly as the hand holding a third bottle up as if it’s a weapon. She looks like she wants to attack again but the ANBU-attire clearly has her hesitating, and Hound-Kakashi realises that he never told her what kind of mission he was going on. 

Slowly, afraid that any hasty movement will push her into further action, he reaches up to pull off his mask. The ANBU-mask. The other one remains where it always is. 

“Sensei?” A furious blush spreads across her cheeks and down her neck and she hastily drops the bottle in favour of draping herself more modestly in the towel. “I’m sorry sensei! I wasn’t expecting … I-I mean … Y-you shouldn’t climb through a girl’s window like that!” 

Hound-Kakashi resists the urge to snort at that, because clearly!  

“Sorry,” he says instead. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” 

“Then why’d you climb in through the window in the middle of the night, while I was getting dressed?!” 

There’s a knock on the door, saving Hound-Kakashi from having to answer. Sakura looks from him to the door and back again, before straightening her shoulders and giving him a firm look. 

“Turn around,” she orders. 

He raises a questioning eyebrow at her. 

“Turn. Around. I’m not getting caught naked, alone with a man in my room in the middle of the night!” 

Hound-Kakashi chokes and hastily does as told, turning to face the corner and mentally trying to push down the blush he can feel rising on his cheeks. From some dark corner of his mind a voice starts to rise, slowly chanting: Underage, unmarried, girl-student. He shudders, and pushes the voice back down. 

Behind him there’s a rustling noise as Sakura hastily gets dressed before opening the door. 

“Is everything alright here?” a stranger’s voice asks. “We heard a scream?” 

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just a nightmare. Sorry for waking you.” 

Though he can’t see her face, Kakashi still notes that her voice is the perfect mixture of embarrassed and apologising. She’s a good liar - which is, of course, a useful skill for a shinobi. 

A minute later, after exchanging some more words with the people outside, Sakura finally closes the door and turns to face him. Hound-Kakashi - who’s maybe more Kakashi than Hound by now, considering the recent dose of horrible embarrassment - turns away from the corner to look at her too. 

She’s dressed in a very familiar, long t-shirt. On him it’s a perfect fit, but on her it’s more like a dress. Or maybe a sack, considering how much thinner her frame is than his. She sees him look and blushes, but raises her head and defensively crosses her arms across her chest. Silently challenging him to say anything. 

“What are you doing here?” she asks at last. 

Kakashi pulls out the letter she’d left for him. “I just got back.” 

Understanding dawns in her eyes and she shifts on her feet, not meeting his eyes anymore. 

“I was looking forward to a shower and a full night of sleep, but then I find that my apartment is no longer mine and that all of my things are gone. Care to tell me how that happened?” 

She’s resolutely not meeting his eyes. Instead she’s studying her toes, as if they’re suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. 

“Sakura?” 

Kakashi - because he’s quickly shifting fully into the mindset of Kakashi now, despite still wearing the uniform of Hound - has a bad feeling in his stomach. He’s not sure what he’d been expecting really, but the sheer guilt written across Sakura’s whole body does not bode well. 

“What happened?” His voice is softer now, more coaxing, and finally she glances up at him. 

“I’m sorry. It was an accident.” 

“What happened?” 

“You don’t know?” 

“Like I said, I just got back.” Like, half an hour ago. The mysterious turn of events this evening has helped him get a little more alert, but he’s still tired to the bone and in desperate need of a shower. “Now tell me. I don’t like to ask twice.” 

She flinches a little, as the last part has more of Hound in it than of Kakashi. 

“I, uh, kinda set your kitchen on fire?” 

She glances up at him again, quickly, before looking down again. Fiddling with the long sleeves of the t-shirt. 

“It was an accident. The rice cooker had some sort of electrical malfunction and caught fire while I was in the shower.” 

Kakashi closes his eyes against the mental image. He recalls the time she’d set a kitchen on fire during a baby-sitting mission. It had been the grandchildren of Councilman Mitokado, which had made the whole thing that much worse. And now it’s apparently his kitchen. 

Who’s stupid idea was it, exactly, to take on an apprentice? For him to take on an apprentice? 

“First rule of this apprenticeship; you’re not stepping foot in my kitchen again.” 

“But-” 

“Not one foot!” He gives her a firm look, halting any other objections. “Not until I’m confident you’re capable of not setting anything on fire.” 

She nods in acknowledgement, shoulders sagging under his look. 

“So what happened next?” 

Sakura shrugs. “Your landlord wasn’t too happy. I was able to pay for most of the repairs with what I’d been able to save up, but he still said you were evicted, so I packed up your things and came here.” 

“Were you hurt?” 

“No. Just some smoke inhalation.” 

“And where are my things now?” 

She reaches for the bedside table and pulls out a familiar storage scroll from the drawer there, handing it to him. Surprisingly, she does meet his eyes as he reaches out to take it. 

“It’s funny; this scroll only used to be able to hold my backpack, but everything in your apartment fits just fine.” 

Point taken, Kakashi admits to himself. 

“We’ll talk in the morning,” is all he says, pocketing the scroll. “Meet me on the usual bridge at, say, nine.” 

“So you’ll be there at around noon then?” 

“Careful. Having too much of a smart mouth is dangerous.” He ruffles her hair gently. “You’re my apprentice now.” 

With those words he turns to leave, back out the way he came. 

There are rooms at the ANBU-headquarters he can use to shower and sleep. Technically they’re only for those on duty, but Hound’s a captain and unlikely to get too many questions about his presence there. 

“Goodnight sensei!” his apprentice calls behind him. 

Despite everything, Kakashi smiles beneath the mask. 

The next morning, Sakura wakes up early after a night of restless sleep. She lies awake in bed for a while, listening to the sound of the dormitories slowly waking up and staring at the ceiling. 

Did last night even happen? It seems almost like a dream, but the scroll is gone and the embarrassment is far too real to be a dream. Kakashi-sensei is back. And not only is he back, but he came for her just about immediately upon his return. Despite the dark ANBU-uniform - and she hadn’t even known that Kakashi-sensei was ANBU to begin with, so that’s a realisation she files away for later exploration - she’d seen the blood on his uniform and been able to smell the sweat on him. He hadn’t even had the time to shower before finding her - probably because he’d been stumped upon arriving at his apartment and not because Sakura was his number one priority, but still. Sakura would like to imagine that he still would’ve made it a priority to find her, even if his apartment had been just as he’d left it. 

Anyway, now it’s morning and she’s due to meet Kakashi-sensei in - she glances at the clock - about three hours. Or maybe six, considering that he has probably never been on time for anything in his life. She’s too restless to fall back asleep, and so she gets up to get dressed. There’s a number of t-shirts in her wardrobe which she has borrowed from Kakashi-sensei's things, and so she folds them all neatly and places them in a pile, for her to return later. There’s some dirty laundry too, so she bags that up to deal with after breakfast. 

With a plan for the next few hours, she heads out of her room. She’d better get a proper breakfast today, if she’s going to be dealing with Kakashi-sensei all day. 

And she will be dealing with him. He’d promised her an apprenticeship, a home and money and - and that he’d always be there for her - and then he’d left and she didn’t even have the necessary papers to take missions anymore. That will have to change. Quickly. 

Despite a strong suspicion that Kakashi-sensei will leave her waiting, Sakura arrives at their designated meeting spot five minutes early, a bag with the borrowed t-shirts in hand. 

Surprisingly, he’s only about twenty minutes late, which is positively punctual for him. He looks like a wreck though, his hair standing on end even worse than usual and his jounin-uniform wrinkled as if he’s slept in it. Maybe he has. 

“Good morning, sensei,” she greets him, suddenly shy again. Hesitantly she hands over the bag, and he gives it a curious glance before accepting it. 

“Have you had breakfast?” he asks. 

“Yes sensei, back at the dormitories.” 

“Well, I haven’t. Care to join me?” 

He doesn’t even wait for an answer before stomping off towards the nearest restaurant, leaving her to scamper to catch up. 

When they arrive Kakashi orders a full breakfast, while she orders a cup of matcha-tea. 

They wait in silence, Sakura still hesitant to speak but feeling the silence slowly pressing down upon her. 

“Sorry for attacking you last night,” she finally says, when the silence becomes too overbearing. Even though he’d totally deserved it, seeing as how he’d climbed through her window in the middle of the night like a total creep. 

He waves the apology away, obviously unbothered by her actions, and then their tea and food arrives. 

Sakura spends a couple of minutes silently sipping her tea and studying the street outside. It’s tempting to try to catch a peak at her sensei’s face beneath the mask while he eats, but she opts not to. He must be starving, after all. It’s not fair of her to force him to reveal his face to her then. Even if she’s unlikely to succeed, even just having to think about it must be annoying. And Sakura does not want her sensei to think she is annoying. At least not right now.  

“Will you have to leave again soon?” 

She speaks the question without really meaning to. A glance at Kakashi-sensei tells her that he’s already finished half of his breakfast and is currently leaning back to play a little with his miso soup. 

“Lady Tsunade promised me a few days off. Maybe a full week, if possible. So we’ll have a few days, at least, to figure things out.” 

“That’s good.”

“Yes. What about you?” 

Sakura shrugs, taking another sip from her tea. 

“I don’t have any missions.” 

“None? You’re not slacking while sensei is away, are you, Sakura-chan?” 

His voice takes on a teasing note that makes Sakura want to punch him. Instead, she pulls her shoulders up and sips the tea again. Most of it is gone already. 

“I don’t have the proper documentation.” 

“You don’t?” 

Sakura shakes her head. 

“I thought we filled that out?” 

“Apparently only the part that removed me from the Genin Corps went through.” 

“What about the apprentice contract?” 

She shrugs again, moving to take another sip of her tea but the cup is empty now. With a disappointed frown she puts the mug down. 

“I’ll look into it,” he promises. “I’m already going to meet with my landlord and going apartment-hunting, so I’ll add that to the list of things to do. Do you have any training planned for today?” 

“Not really. I usually train with Tomomi and Hajime and them, but they’re all away on a mission. Same with team 10.” 

“So in other words, you have no plans for today?” 

Sakura shakes her head. 

“Ok. You can come with me then, and we’ll talk about what you want out of this apprenticeship.” 

Wordlessly, Sakura nods in agreement, staring down into the empty tea cup. She clenches her hands around it, not nearly hard enough to break it, but enough to gather her courage to speak. 

“Apprentices get an apprentice fund too, right? We should see to that as well.” 

Just asking the question is embarrassing enough that she wants to crawl under her chair and never again come out, but she’s determined to not let Kakashi-sensei disappear on another mission without having solved this issue first. 

“Ma, I’m surprised, Sakura-chan. I haven’t been back in Konoha for twelve hours yet, and you’re already asking for money? Quite the little gold digger, aren’t you?” 

His voice is teasing again, so she knows that he doesn’t mean anything by it, but gods it hurts. She can’t even hide the flinch at the words. Gold digger . It falls way too close to aunt Kasumi’s many lessons on how to become a lady and catch the attention of a noble husband.

As a result, her own voice is short when she answers: 

“Maybe I am, but I’ve already run through most of my savings paying for the repairs of your apartment. And since I can’t do missions without your signature - and therefore cannot earn any money - I thought it prudent to bring it up. Forgive me if it was presumptuous of me.” 

She stands, taking her empty cup of tea with her. 

Kakashi-sensei catches her wrist in his hand before she can go. 

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he says quietly. Seriously. “I was just teasing.” 

And suddenly Sakura wants to cry with how pathetically oversensitive she’s being, but she forces herself to swallow the tears and cling on to the earlier anger instead. 

“It’s fine. It’s just that I’d rather not be homeless during the winter if I can help it, and if that means staying with the Genin Corps rather than being your apprentice, then-” 

“Are you threatening to leave me for the Genin Corps?” 

There’s humour in his voice, but also a note of genuine surprise and maybe even something like regret. Sakura swallows around the lump in her throat, staring straight ahead of her in an attempt to hide how her eyes are still burning with tears. 

She’s done letting people walk all over her, she reminds herself. She’s going to make her own future, and that necessitates putting up personal boundaries and making reasonable demands out of people. If people won’t fulfil those demands - if putting up personal boundaries makes them turn away from her - then she’ll just … have to live with that. 

“If the choice comes down to being homeless and your apprentice, or being in the Genin Corps for the rest of my life, then yes.” 

He’s silent for long enough that she finally takes a glance at him. When she does, her eyes meet his and she finds herself unable to look away. His voice is calm and surprisingly comforting when he says: 

“Luckily it won’t come to that. I’ll make arrangements for a proper apprentice fund, and I’ll make better arrangements with the landlord. You won’t have to spend your own money on me again.” 

Just like that, and it’s like the anger is leaving her all at once. Like a deflating balloon, leaving behind a compressed ball of anxiety in her chest. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. 

“Thank you, sensei.” 

She tugs at her wrist and he lets her go. She flees, putting the empty cup away before heading outside into the now bustling street. 

Kakashi-sensei joins her a couple of minutes later, quietly coming to stand next to her. 

“You’ll get your money back,” he promises. “Things will get better from now on. Like I said before, we have a few days to figure out the logistics of this.” 

They head down the street, Kakashi-sensei walking at a leisurely pace with his hands in his pockets and the bag with his t-shirts dangling from his wrist. Sakura is grateful that she does not have to hurry to keep up with him. 

“So,” Kakashi-sensei says after a couple of minutes, drawing the word out. “What do you want out of this apprenticeship? You know, other than your sensei not being a complete jackass?” 

The last part makes her stumble in surprise, but when she looks up at him his one visible eye crinkles in what she’s come to interpret as a smile. He’s teasing her again, she realises. Except this time, he’s doing it at his own expense. 

Ok then. 

Sakura averts her gaze, watching the now busy street. What does she want? To become stronger, is the immediate answer. Become someone people can rely on - maybe even her teammates. But that’s hardly a concise goal. Still … Kakashi-sensei is looking at her, expecting an answer. 

“I want to become stronger. I know I’m not strong like Sasuke or even Naruto, but-” 

She bites down on the words, kicking at a pebble on the ground and watching as it rolls away. That doesn’t sound right. Kakashi-sensei knows that she’s not Naruto or Sasuke. They’ve had this conversation already, before she even accepted the apprenticeship. But then he’d left and been gone for a whole month , and she knows that she’s not exactly his first or even second choice for an apprentice and-

“Like I said before, I’ll support you even if it’s your goal to become a career genin,” Kakashi-sensei says, almost as if he’s been reading her mind. 

“But I’ll be the most well-equipped and knowledgeable genin in Konoha?” she says, repeating the words he’d said back then. 

“Exactly. You’re my apprentice, after all.” 

It’s a stupidly heartwarming thought and she scowls at a group of people passing by, trying to hide the grin that wants to come out. 

“What I meant was if there are any specific skills or areas of expertise you wish to explore.” 

Sakura ponders that for a moment. What does she want to learn? It’s an impossibly wide question. Sakura has always loved to learn new things, devoured any information that has been given to her and eagerly waited for more. Her problem has never been in her willingness to learn, but rather what people are willing to teach her. Like aunt Kasumi with her lady-lessons, or Iruka-sensei with the Academy curriculum. Speaking of which; 

“The Academy teachers said I was a genjutsu type. And I know you said that’s mostly because I don’t have the aptitude for ninjutsu or taijutsu, but I’d still like to explore that a bit, if that’s ok?” 

Recalling those past conversations with Kakashi-sensei makes her nervous again, and she looks at him to see his reaction. Of course, between the mask and the stupid headband it’s just about impossible to tell what he’s thinking, but his voice is calm and serious when he answers. 

“Honestly, I’m not much of a genjutsu specialist myself but I can certainly teach you the basics, and we can take it from there. I have a friend who’s a genjutsu mistress, if you decide you want to delve deeper into the subject.” 

Sakura tilts her head in surprise, unable not to look at the headband covering his sharingan-eye. Kakashi-sensei notices, of course, and smiles at her. 

“The sharingan is kind of like cheating, when it comes to genjutsu. It comes with certain abilities, yes, but I’m afraid I’m unable to teach you those. I am, however, willing to teach you everything I know about genjutsu.” 

“Ok,” Sakura agrees, looking ahead of her again. Mentally she pushes down the envy wanting to rise within her, that she wasn’t born with any type of special ability like that. “That sounds good, I guess.” 

She spends a moment - just a moment - fantasising about what she’d do if she had something like that. The look on Sasuke’s face if, back when he knocked her out with his sharingan before leaving the village, she had simply been able to summon her own sharingan and throw it back in his face. Or Naruto’s envy if he’d been the only one without a sharingan. Or - and this thought makes her chuckle to herself - Tanigawa’s stupid face if she’d been able to change her eyes in front of him, never mind the genjutsu-part! 

Kakashi-sensei makes a small sound, looking at her curiously. 

“Ah, nothing, just had a funny thought, is all.” Sakura waves the attention away. Then: “Can you teach me to use a sword?” 

It’d be so great to beat Tanigawa with his own-

“No.” 

Surprised, Sakura looks at her sensei again. 

“What happened to always supporting me, regardless of what I want?” 

“I’m not teaching you to use a sword.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you’re not a sword-type.” 

He must see the confusion on her face, because a moment later he takes pity on her and elaborates. 

“Swords are great if you can wield them properly, but they also come with a certain fighting style. The best swordsmen are large and broad shouldered. Some even carry swords that weigh more than you do.” 

He pointedly looks her up and down, as if considering how much she weighs. Sakura is vaguely insulted, even though he’s obviously insinuating that she does not weigh much at all. 

“But a sword would give me a longer reach, right?” 

“It would. However, the benefits of your enhanced reach would be outweighed by the disadvantages of you having to move with it.” 

“I could just use a really thin sword, couldn’t I?” 

“Even a thin sword is a hindrance to your ability to move around freely, and you’ve already started to develop a fighting style relying heavily on being smaller, faster and more agile than your opponent. Kunai and shuriken are a far better fit for you.” 

Sakura isn’t sure that she understands at all, but decides to let the issue go anyway. It’s not like she needs a sword to beat Tanigawa. It’d just be so satisfying . 

“Anything else you want to learn?” 

“Not that I can think of right now.” She’ll have to look more into what there is for her to learn. There should be, like, a catalogue or something, with different skills and abilities for her to choose from. Or at least some sort of display, like in aunt Kasumi’s shop where the customers can look at various fabrics and types of kimono and choose which ones they want. 

She would like to learn medical ninjutsu, but since that apparently comes with having to follow Lady Tsunade’s rules for medical ninja - rules which includes staying away from the frontlines and out of the fighting - that’s a no go. She’s already declined an apprenticeship with Lady Tsunade for that very reason. 

“Alright then. As for my part, I intend to establish a training regime for you focused on building strength, speed and agility, building upon the skills you already have. In order to evaluate those skills and figure out where to start, we’ll have a test tomorrow to see how far you’ve come since graduation.” 

“A test?” Memories of the bell-test that Kakashi-sensei had set for team 7, back when they’d first graduated, is enough to have Sakura’s stomach twisting with worry. 

“Just to figure out where we stand, no worries. It won’t be too bad, I’m sure.” 

His smile isn’t reassuring at all, Sakura thinks. 

“Alright then. Anything in particular I should prepare?” 

“No need to prepare.” 

Kakashi comes to a halt outside what Sakura suddenly realises is the apartment of his former landlord. The one who’d demanded Sakura pay for the damages of the fire. 

“And Sakura?” He pauses, hand raised to knock on the door. 

The sudden seriousness in his tone catches her by surprise, and she looks up to meet his gaze. 

“Konoha is in a difficult situation, at the moment. I won’t be able to provide the kind of hands-on guidance an apprentice might normally be able to expect.” 

Sakura does not comment that he hasn’t been very hands-on at all, when it comes to her training. 

“Whenever possible I’ll try to set you up with someone else to look after you while I’m gone, but that might fall through too. So I need you to keep to my word regardless of whether I’m here to enforce it or not. Is that clear?” 

“I understand.” 

“That means following the training regime that I set for you, every day, without fail. Regardless of how tired you are, or how tempted you are to take a day off. Understood?” 

His gaze is almost terrifyingly intense as he meets hers. Sakura forces herself to take a deep breath, and then nod. She understands. She does. Konoha can’t afford to have Kakashi-sensei sidelined because of her, so he’ll do what he can but she’ll have to keep herself to the same standard he would, even when he’s not there. 

She can do that. 

Right? 

Kakashi-sensei knocks on the door. 

Chapter Text

The new apartment isn’t as big as his old one - just a 1 bedroom, hole-in-a-wall apartment, with tatami covered floors and crappy heating - but given the current shortage of liveable apartments, Kakashi is happy that he’s managed to get an apartment at all. 

Given that he’s had far too little sleep lately and is still coming down after a long mission, Kakashi is just about ready to send Sakura on her way and take a nap for the rest of the day. But just as he’s about to open his mouth and tell her so, she looks at him with an adorable puppy-eye look - like a puppy that desperately wants to please but is also afraid of getting kicked or yelled at - and she he sighs and swallows the words down. 

Much like raising pups, having an apprentice comes with responsibilities. And Kakashi has already screwed up enough when it comes to this particular pup. Apprentice. Whatever. 

“Guess you’re going to have to stay in the dormitories for a bit longer,” Kakashi yawns. “Hope you don’t mind?” 

He pulls out the storage scroll with his things and places it on the floor. 

Sakura shrugs, curiously looking around the apartment. Not that there’s much to see. “I don’t mind sharing a room with Tomomi and Aimi.” 

“You’re three to one room?” 

“Since the invasion, yeah. All empty rooms are used for the homeless.” 

“I see.” 

Still, three people to one room seems like a tight fit. It hadn’t seemed that big, even if he didn’t exactly get a good look in last night. He’ll have to come up with some sort of solution to that problem too, soon. 

Because even if Sakura doesn’t mind sharing a room, Kakashi doubts that she’ll remain a genin for much longer. 

He gathers his thoughts enough to unseal his belongings, which have apparently been neatly packed in boxes before being sealed away. There’s neat writing on each box indicating in which room the contents belong, as well as an acrid smell of smoke and sulphur clinging to all of it. 

Without having to be prompted to do so, Sakura immediately jumps to opening the windows - both the one in the main room as well as the one in his cramped little bedroom. 

“Thank you, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi says quietly, already feeling how the scents are building towards a throbbing headache. 

 “No problem, Kakashi-sensei. Anything else I can do to help?” 

Again, Kakashi is struck by the urge to send her on her way, but the anxiousness she cannot quite conceal in her voice has him biting down on the urge. He’s done this, he reminds himself. He’s created this anxiety within her, this fear that he’ll reject her and leave her to fight for herself. I’d rather not be homeless during the winter if I can help it, and if that means staying with the Genin Corps rather than being your apprentice, then- Kakashi can still hear the words clearly in the back of his mind. 

Sakura might have accepted becoming his apprentice, but she’s clearly not expecting him to keep her for long. Which, to be fair, Kakashi cannot blame her for. 

This is his fault. 

Those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash, but what about those who make their teammates look at them the way Sakura looks at him? 

“How about you get the kitchen-things unpacked, and I’ll get started on this stuff?” Kakashi gestures towards the boxes marked as belonging in the bedroom. 

To Kakashi’s relief, Sakura gives him a hesitantly teasing smile at that. “I thought I wasn’t supposed to set foot in the kitchen?” 

Kakashi gives her a pretend-stern glare. “Do you think you can unpack without setting anything on fire?” 

Sakura nods importantly, straightening up and standing at attention. Clearly serious, but also clearly ready to joke about serious things. 

“Then it’s fine. For now.” 

Sakura grabs the indicated box and heads over to the kitchen-nook, while Kakashi gets to work on wrestling to bed through the door into the small bedroom, which is just about barely big enough to fit his bed. Once the bed is in place Kakashi heads back to the boxes, finds the lightest one of the bunch and upends it on the bed. As he’d suspected, it contains his bedclothes. 

Two boxes containing books and various weapons make a decent bed stand for his alarm clock and photos, and with a little bit of force he’s able to fit the box with his clothes between the foot end of his bed and the wall. 

Back in the main room, Sakura has finished unpacking his kitchen utensils and has started on the living room boxes. He watches her as she hangs the curtains, using chakra to climb on his walls. The sight reminds him again of his many failures as a sensei - to all of his students really, but maybe particularly to this girl. 

He shakes his head to shake the thoughts aside and starts to sort the remaining boxes and furniture. Most of it goes back into the storage scroll, which gives enough room to push the couch up against the wall and place the rug on the floor. Then Sakura is there, effortlessly lifting the heavy coffee table into place. 

Again, Kakashi is reminded of her apparent ease with chakra control. She’d mastered walking up trees in less than an hour - a feat which had seemed so ridiculous Kakashi had flat out accused her of cheating - and he’d seen her fight a much more experienced comrade on water with seemingly no issue at all. Kichiro had told him she had excellent chakra control , and while Kakashi has his reasons for avoiding the man he has no real reason to doubt his judgement of Sakura. 

He’d made sure that she’d get an apprenticeship with Lady Tsunade, when Naruto and Sasuke both left. And yet here she is. Not an apprentice to the most renowned medical ninja in the known world as well as the current Hokage of Konoha. 

No, instead she’s his. 

His . 

Copy Cat Ninja. 

Friend Killer Kakashi. 

She’s his apprentice now. At least as long as she does not decide to leave him for the Genin Corps, again. 

Part of him cannot help but think that she would be better off there, away from him. Or even better, with Lady Tsunade. But she’s made her choices, and the best thing Kakashi can do is honour those choices. 

Even though the thought of having her as his apprentice is both terrifying and exhilarating. Terrifying, because there are so, so many ways in which this apprenticeship can go wrong. Exhilarating because despite all of that, despite his many failures in the not-so-distant past, she’s still here. Still his. Still so full of potential. 

Pack , some instinctive part of himself whispers, which is also terrifying. Because Kakashi hasn’t allowed himself to have a pack in years. Not beyond the dogs, and a select group of jounin who’ve refused to leave him alone, even when he’d wanted it. 

“Sensei?” 

Sakura is looking at him, he realises. Standing in the middle of his living room/kitchen, looking lost and confused and worried. 

“Sorry, Sakura. What were you saying?”

“I was just wondering if it was ok for me to ask about the scroll?” 

Kakashi sighs and glances out the window. It’s getting late. 

“How about I tell you over dinner? My treat?” 

She frowns, as if she suspects that he’s just trying to distract her, but agrees. 

Ten minutes later they’re sitting at Ichiraku Ramen, waiting for their noodles. 

“To start with, you need to understand that I did not realise how bad things were for you,” Kakashi starts, fiddling with a couple of napkins and a pair of chopsticks. “In fact, it took me way too long to understand that you were sleeping in a tent. When I did realise, however, I worried. So I started keeping watch, trying to make sure you were safe.” 

The food arrives. Kakashi wraps his hands around the bowl, allowing the heat to sink into his hands. He focuses on that sensation as he tells her about the merchant who’d been trying to sneak up on her, who’d not really been a merchant but rather a Kiri-defector in association with a band of fellow Kiri-defectors under the command of a former Kiri-jounin. 

He’d sold her a storage scroll with a tracking device in it. For what purpose, Kakashi can’t tell, but he’d been sneaking up on her in the middle of the night. She’d been asleep and unaware, so Kakashi had intervened, taken the culprit to T&I and taken it upon himself to remove the storage scroll with the tracking device from her belongings. 

By the time Kakashi is done speaking, Sakura is pale as a ghost. Worried, Kakashi urges her to eat and she slowly obeys, her hands shaking almost too much to hold her chopsticks. However, the hot noodles do her good and eventually her hands stop shaking, and her face takes on a more normal shade. 

“I had no idea.” 

Kakashi refrains from commenting that he’d noticed as much. That he’d purposely kept her unaware of the danger to her. 

“Why was he after me?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“But T&I-” 

“He committed suicide before he could be properly interrogated.” 

Kakashi swallows his own food while Sakura is busy staring down into her now empty bowl, clearly trying to process the news. By now the noodles are little more than lukewarm. 

“Has this happened again?” 

Kakashi shakes his head. As far as he knows, no one has come for Sakura specifically since this incident. 

“Do you have any idea of who it could be?” he asks, curious. 

He has his own theories, but still. 

Sakura shakes her head. “I have never been to Kiri. I’ve only been outside of Konoha a handful of times, for missions.” She laughs to herself, though there’s no joy in the laugh. 

He’d figured as much. Still, it’s somewhat interesting that her thoughts do not seem to go the same way his does. 

“Why would Mist-shinobi come after me?” 

She looks at him with large, imploring eyes that makes him want to wrap her up in blankets and never let her out into the real world again. 

“Like I said, he was a Kiri-defector, so his reasons might not have to do with Kiri at all.” 

“But still, why me? Unless …” Her face takes on a vaguely green hue and she crosses her legs tightly. 

Awkwardly, Kakashi pets her on the shoulder. “It’s possible. But you’re safe now.”

“I’m going to sleep with a kunai under my pillow from now on!” 

Which is a very good idea, as far as Kakashi is concerned. He himself has been sleeping with weapons under his pillow - and in plenty of other nearby, convenient places - since he was six years old. It’s rather a healthy habit for a shinobi. 

When they’re both full Kakashi pays for their food and they head out into the evening. Sakura is still looking green and tense, so Kakashi steers the way to the nearest convenience store and stocks up on essentials. It makes four large bags, and so he loads Sakura to carry three and carries the last one himself. Of course, he could easily carry them all by himself, apprentices are handy that way. 

Once back in his apartment he guides the still mostly stunned Sakura to sit on the couch, while he himself unpacks the groceries. She doesn’t move or speak until he places a cup of hot tea in front of her, and even then she just whispers “thanks”. 

They sit in a mostly comfortable silence, quietly sipping their tea as the evening grows later and later. Finally, when Kakashi is really starting to feel like he might fall asleep where he sits, Sakura speaks. 

“Kakashi-sensei? Would it be ok if I … if I slept here tonight?”

He’d been intending to calm her down before following her back to the Genin Corps, but her staying here suits him perfectly fine. At least then he’ll know for sure that nothing will happen to her during the night without him noticing. 

Even if the Genin Corps Headquarters isn’t a very dangerous place. She does have a nasty habit of getting in trouble when out of his sight, after all. 

“Sure. The couch is all yours.” 

The gratitude and relief on her face is both humbling and unnerving. 

Pack , that internal voice of his whispers again. Protect. 

And that is just terrifying.  

The next morning Sakura wakes up to the scent of food cooking. She finds Kakashi-sensei by the stove, dressed in a strangely cute kunai-patterned apron that looks very strange on top of his jounin slacks and vest. 

“Good morning, Sakura-chan,” he greets her, without looking away from what he’s doing. “Take a seat, breakfast is done soon.” 

Obediently, Sakura puts away the blanket and the pillow she’d used, and takes a seat on the couch. However, she’s unable not to stare at her sensei. He looks so homely . If he notices her staring, he does not comment. 

“I didn’t know you could cook,” she says. She’s only ever really seen him eat out. Then again, he had given her pointers on how to improve her own cooking. 

“Cooking is an essential skill. For anyone, not just shinobi, even if nutrition is especially important for a shinobi.” As he talks, he tilts the frying pan a little, allowing the fire from the stove to mix briefly with the oils in the pan. The result is an impressive flare of fire, the flames making a woosh-woosh sound before dying down again. 

It’s impressive, but Sakura scoffs nonetheless. “And you were worried about me setting the kitchen on fire.” 

“Remind me again who set the Mitokados’ kitchen on fire?” Kakashi-sensei’s voice is teasing and warm, so the jibe doesn’t hurt. “And why do my things smell like smoke?” 

He packs half of the food into two bento boxes, leaving them to cool as he serves the rest up for breakfast. It’s not a small meal either. There’s rice, miso soup, tamagoyaki, grilled fish and a couple of vegetable side-dishes, as well as a cup of green tea.

“Kettle,” Sakura says, gesturing to him. Then she gestures to herself. “Pot.” 

“Eat up.” Despite the mask and the headband, Kakashi-sensei’s smile seems wide and happy. 

Sakura might continue the argument, but the food really does smell and look terrific. 

“Thank you for the food,” she manages to say before abandoning her argument and eagerly digging in. 

They eat in companionable silence. Sakura does not even catch a glimpse of Kakashi-sensei’s face, but somehow the plates before him go empty anyway. She’s starting to wonder if he’s using some sort of genjutsu on her, to keep her from noticing. Discreetly she flares her chakra, just in case, but to no avail. 

“So, what are we doing today?” Sakura asks after a while. He’d mentioned a test, yesterday, and she’s starting to worry. Just a little. 

“I was thinking we’d start with a run, and then take it from there.” 

That doesn’t sound too bad. Sakura sighs in relief. 

After breakfast, Sakura heads back to the Dormitories to shower and get changed into a fresh set of clothes, while Kakashi-sensei cleans up after their meal. 

Mid-morning she settles in at their agreed-upon meeting point, prepared for a long wait but pleasantly surprised when Kakashi-sensei is on time. Like, actually on time. Not just less late than usual. 

“Ready?” he asks. 

She nods her affirmation, trying not to stare or worry. Whatever test he’s got planned for today, it can’t be too bad, right? 

Right? 

Though him actually being on time cannot possibly be a good sign. 

“Good. We’ll be running along the wall, around the village. So set a speed you’re comfortable with, and I’ll follow.” 

Slightly awkward, because she’s not really used to taking the lead, Sakura does as told and settles in for a comfortable jog she can keep going for a good while. She’ll need to save her energy if they’re really going to jog along the whole wall. Apart from the village itself, the wall also surrounds a whole lot of forested lands and large training grounds, so it’s quite a stretch of wall. And Sakura plans to show that she’s perfectly capable of keeping a decent speed for long periods of time, thank you very much.  

Mentally, she thanks Hajime for those evenings practising long-distance running. 

Kakashi-sensei follows a couple of steps behind her, just as he’d promised. 

They pass the marketplace, where the merchants are getting ready for another day of business. The main road, where she’d encountered Sasuke on his way out of the village. The memory makes her shudder and she pushes it down, focusing on the here and now. 

After a couple of minutes they reach the wall, and Sakura slows down, unsure of which direction to take next. Does it even matter? Kakashi-sensei had only said that they’d be running along the wall. She glances questioningly at him, and he quietly points upwards. 

She follows his finger, realising that he’s pointing to a spot on the wall, high above the rooftops. 

Running along the wall indeed, she thinks. 

With a deep breath she braces herself before taking the leap. 

Running along the wall isn’t actually difficult. It’s much like using her chakra to climb a tree, except that running along the wall will force her to run in a horizontal position. Her chakra adjusts almost automatically, strengthening her muscles to help keep her upright - or is it horizontal? 

“No chakra other than to stick to the wall,” Kakashi-sensei instructs from right behind her. 

Sakura stumbles before glancing over her shoulder. He can’t be serious, can he? 

“Use your muscles!” 

He is. 

Fuck!  

With a frown she forces her chakra down, adjusting the flow until she’s using it only to keep her feet firmly on the wall. Again, it’s not that difficult in and of itself, but the strain on her muscles is immediate as gravity tries to pull her down. 

Staying horizontal takes a lot more effort than just staying upright or upside down. 

“No chakra!” 

This time Kakashi-sensei’s voice is followed by a brief flash of pain across her back, which makes her yelp and stumble, almost losing focus entirely. 

A pebble falls to the rooftops below her and Kakashi-sensei’s hand pushes her forward, urging her to keep running. With effort, she regains control over both her body and chakra, forcing her feet back into rhythm. 

Every instinct she has tells her to strengthen her core with her chakra, to ease the strain on her muscles and keep her steady. Not even just her conscious chakra control, but she consciously has to push the chakra away from her core. She’s actively working against her instincts, which takes a lot more effort than just rolling with them, as she usually does. 

And then there’s the quickly growing pain in her muscles as she struggles to continue to keep herself upright. 

It’s like holding her breath, even though she really badly needs to breathe. 

It is difficult not to use her chakra to help! 

“No chakra!” 

The comment is accompanied by another brief flash of pain, on her thigh this time. 

With a mutinous glare straight forward - because she can’t afford to lose focus again by turning around to glare at Kakashi-sensei - she forces her chakra down. Back to her feet. 

Even as her muscles scream in protest. 

“You don’t need to throw rocks at me to get your point across,” she growls, allowing her anger and frustration to come through in her voice. 

“Then either don’t use your chakra or duck.” 

Kakashi’s voice is, of course, as light and unbothered as if they’re taking a stroll through the park and he’s offering her a choice of ice cream or dango. And of course he has not only one but two excuses as to why he keeps throwing those rocks, both perfectly reasonable from a training perspective. 

I hate him , she thinks angrily. Why did she agree to this again?

She must have been mad, is why. That’s clearly the only explanation. 

They near the quarter mark. Just three quarters of wall left, before they’ve completed a full lap around the village. 

Just three quarters. 

Just. 

Three. 

More. 

Between the continuous effort of keeping herself upright and continuing running, her muscles quickly start to feel as if they’ve caught on fire. And chakra is soothing water, which she’s pushing away from the fire. 

“Why are we doing this?” she gasps, trying to distract herself.

“For two reasons. For one, it’s an exercise in chakra control.” 

Kakashi-sensei sounds annoyingly relaxed, even as he flicks another pebble at her. Sakura bites down on a growl and takes control over her chakra again. 

“For the second, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, it’s also quite an effective muscle workout.” 

“You don’t say?” 

“Being able to circulate your chakra is a good way to keep you going past your natural endurance, but doing so continuously can actually keep you from improving your actual stamina. So, we’re working out without the use of chakra, in order to build muscles, and then chakra will be able to keep us running for even longer.” 

In other words, her habit of circulating chakra in order to strengthen herself has become a bad habit. 

Great. 

“Chakra!” 

She winces as Kakashi-sensei throws another pebble at her but dutifully forces the chakra down again. 

When had her chakra circulation become a crutch to her? Because she’s quickly realising that Kakashi-sensei is right. She’s no stronger physically now than she was when she graduated from the Academy - which was over six months ago! 

Iruka-sensei would be disappointed. 

She shakes her head at the thought, trying to shake off the feeling of someone else's disappointment. She’s made a mistake. She’s rectifying it. Whether she wants to or not, apparently. 

Kakashi-sensei throws another pebble at her and she once more forces her chakra down. 

Suddenly, she has a whole new appreciation for Hajime and Tomomi. They wouldn’t dream of throwing rocks at her, or forcing her through this torture that is running horizontal on the wall. They’re nice ! Like, honest-to-god, nice people!

Unlike Kakashi-sensei, who’s clearly a sadistic bastard. 

A sadistic, porn-reading bastard. 

A sadistic, porn-reading bastard with super ugly hair! 

A sadistic, porn-reading bastard with super ugly hair and-

“Gooood moooorning, dear Rival of Mine! Out for a nice morning run, I see?” 

The vaguely familiar voice draws the words out in an overly positive and friendly manner. Glancing backwards she spots a man in a green jumpsuit. Gai-sensei, she remembers. Running behind him are two smaller figures, a boy and a girl, the girl looking about as pleased as her to be running on the wall like this. The other one - Lee, she recalls - looks determined and excited. Almost as if he plans on overtaking her. Nervously, Sakura checks again, but for now at least he’s keeping his pace behind his sensei, who is now running next to Kakashi-sensei. 

“Good morning, Gai,” Kakashi-sensei replies, his voice still about as lazy and unaffected as if they’re in a park. 

Without so much as glancing at her he flicks another pebble at her, and she squeals as she hurriedly forces her chakra down again. Humiliated by having others see her struggle like this she keeps her eyes focusing forwards, struggling not to feel their judging eyes burning into her back. 

“Is this your latest protégé then? Out for a youthful sprint, are you?” 

“Yes Gai. I believe you’ve met Sakura-chan before.” 

They’re not looking, she tells herself. They’ve got better things to do. Like … making sure that they don’t fall off the wall. Or … They’re definitely looking, aren’t they? Anything must be better than looking at someone wearing that body suit. 

She stumbles a little, having pushed her chakra too far down, and hurriedly corrects her chakra output. 

“Care to join me for a youthful challenge? First to run around the village? Loser has to run 100 laps!” 

Her eyes budge at the thought of running 100 laps like this. He can’t be serious, can he?! They’re nearing the halfway mark now and she’s already so very done with this exercise. 

“I’d love to Gai, except as you can see, I’m busy. Perhaps another time.” 

“So I see. We’re going to training ground 14 later for some invigorating sparring, if you’d like to join us?” 

“Sure, that sounds fun.” 

She still hasn’t processed the idea of running 100 laps around the village when Gai and his entourage pass by her, passing by her by simply running further up along the wall. 

It is embarrassing how quickly they continue, until they are out of sight. 

“Don’t slack off,” Kakashi-sensei cautions. 

Of course the reprimand is followed by another pebble to her back and she hurriedly quickens her steps, chancing a glare over her shoulder. He just smiles jovially at her.

She fantasises about flicking her own pebbles at Kakashi-sensei while forcing him to do exhausting and ridiculous things. Like running the damn wall on his hands. Whilst wearing a tutu. And juggling with his feet. And occasionally she’ll exchange the pebble for an exploding tag, just to keep him attentive. 

It’s a nice fantasy. 

Whenever she feels like giving up she just adds another element of difficulty or humiliation. 

And somehow she makes it the rest of the way around the village without falling off the wall, without actually killing her sensei and without dying from protesting muscles. 

“Finally!” she sighs as she jumps off the wall to land on the roofs again, momentarily struggling as the blood flows to her head and she dizzily tries to find her footing. 

Between exhaustion and her spinning head she falls to her knees, gasping for breath. Her fingers dig into the familiar, comforting sturdiness of the roof beneath her and her aching sides feel like she might just spontaneously break in half. 

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Kakashi-sensei says, landing beside her. “We’re only halfway done.” 

She gives him a look of mixed horror and disbelief then because he can’t possibly be serious?! The look he levels her with makes it seem as if he’s just asking her to take off her shoes inside. Perfectly reasonable. 

“No,” she groans, pressing her hot and sweaty forehead down against the cool roof tiles. 

“Yes. We’ve only engaged half your body yet. Can’t have you training unevenly, can we?” 

Can too! she wants to snarl back at him but it seems like too much of an effort. Better then to stay rolled up as she is right now, just focusing on breathing. 

“Come on, Sakura-chan. Back the way we came.” 

Slowly, her whole body protesting, she stands up to face the wall again. Just the look of it makes her feel sick to her stomach, much less the thought of climbing it and running another lap. I can’t do this. I can’t. I’m not strong enough. Maybe Naruto or Sasuke could, but I’m not like them. I can’t do this. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t ...

Maybe she shouldn’t have eaten breakfast anyway. 

But she did choose this. When she chose to become a shinobi; when she chose to become Kakashi’s apprentice. Whether she knew it or not, this is what she signed up for. 

She thinks of Gai and his students. They are a year older than her. Not that much. Yet they had overtaken her easily, running far faster than her. Over and over and over again. 

She thinks of Naruto, who would face down the world to prove himself. 

Briefly she thinks of Sasuke, but quickly shakes her head, chasing the thought away. 

She thinks of her mother, who fought for her to be able to make this choice. 

She thinks of her aunt and uncle, desperately trying to get her to agree to become a lady and marry some noble. She must have been stupid not to want that. Who throws comfort and luxury away for this? 

Slowly, because she isn’t entirely sure that she possesses the ability to move at all right now, she climbs the wall again. The climb is slow but her chakra obeys her, feet sticking steadily to the wall. Despite her exhaustion it is not her chakra that is tired. It’s just every other part of her: both her muscles and her mind. 

“The longer you dawdle the harder it’ll be.” 

Kakashi’s voice is calm, just patiently stating a fact that should motivate her. It reminds her of Iruka-sensei, back when they started building stamina in the Academy. He had said something similar then. Except back then they’d been running laps at the running track of the Academy. Just those 400 metres or so. Round and round, over and over again until they gave up. 

Sakura had given up pretty quickly back then, she remembers. Instead, she had come to stand at the sidelines, watching the boys, and Sasuke especially, continue to run. 

Not this time. 

“Yes, Sensei.” 

Forcing herself to set one foot in front of the other she begins her second lap around the village. 

The wall is just another kind of running track, she comforts herself. 

And Kakashi-sensei is just another kind of teacher, she remembers as he flings another pebble at her. She reigns in her chakra again and thinks of Iruka-sensei’s calm acceptance of her limitations. Even as he set new goals for them he had never required of her to push past her boundaries like this. As long as she tried he was happy, and she had quickly figured out how much she had to try to make him happy. Because he was just a perfectly reasonable sensei like that. 

Those were the days. 

Because Kakashi-sensei clearly doesn’t even know the word reasonable, much less the definition. 

The second lap is worse than the first. 

Her whole body is protesting the continued running, screaming out loud in protest and making every step an exercise in agony. It is a bloody reflex at that point to use her chakra to soothe the ache, and the greater her pain becomes the harder it is to resist said reflex and the more mistakes she makes. 

It doesn’t seem like Kakashi-sensei will ever run out of pebbles. He must have his pockets full of them or something. Her body will be covered with little bruises come evening. If she survives that long. 

She’s not entirely sure that she will. 

About halfway through her second lap her stomach finally decides that she has had enough. She’s been nauseous since she started this lap, or even before that to be honest. A sudden burn at the back of her throat is the only warning she gets as her stomach expels the remains of breakfast. She scrambles for some sort of steady ground and winds up falling to her knees, still somehow keeping herself up on the wall as she barfs down the wall. 

Her throat burns, her body is in agony and the taste in her mouth is horrible. Wearily she stares down at the wall, where her puke is now dribbling down the wall into someone’s backyard. Should she apologise? 

A bottle of water appears before her. She gives Kakashi a quick glance, wondering what he’s thinking of her weakness, and accepts the bottle. The first few swigs she uses to rinse out her mouth. Once her mouth has lost the worst of the taste she greedily drinks, dismayed when he takes the bottle back far too soon. 

“Hey, give it back! I’m not done with that!” 

“If you drink too much now you’ll be sick again.” 

He’s right and she knows it, but she hates him for it. Her glare doesn’t seem to affect him at all. 

“Half a lap to go.” 

“Sadist.” 

If he hears her muttered word he doesn’t seem concerned. 

Strangely enough she does feel somewhat better for the last part. Her muscles are still in agony and her lungs are burning but the nausea is gone. It makes it easier to think, to focus through the pain and as such her chakra control is marginally better than before. 

Or maybe she’s just getting used to the damn pebbles. 

When she is at last - FINALLY - back to the roof that marks the starting point she allows herself to fall flat on her back, breathing heavily. The cool surface feels nice against her warm and clammy skin, her clothes clinging to her with sweat. 

“Good job,” Kakashi-sensei says, appearing in her line of sight. “I believe we’re sufficiently warmed up.”  

“You can’t possibly expect me to do more?!” 

“Sitting up will be enough for now.” 

Wearily, because her muscles are unhappy with even that much, she does so. Kakashi-sensei sits down opposite of her, taking a position as if he’s about to meditate. Automatically she mirrors him, placing her hands on her trembling thighs. 

“I take it you know meditation?” he begins. 

“A little. Just the stuff we learned in the Academy.” 

“Show me.” 

Still struggling to breathe normally she obediently closes her eyes and tries to relax, forcing herself to take slower, deeper breaths. Slowly her heart rhythm returns to something nearing normal. 

“Shouldn’t we stretch?” she asks quietly. 

Iruka-sensei always made them stretch before and after a big workout, she remembers. Once she had learned all the movements it had been pretty nice. Plenty of opportunity to watch Sasuke, whenever she managed to snag herself a spot near enough. 

“We will. This will help prevent muscle soreness too.” 

At this point she’s pretty sure there is nothing at all that will save her from sore muscles and she’s not sure that she manages to keep her scepticism from her face. 

“Focus on your breathing,” Kakashi instructs. 

His voice is softer now. Calmer. Almost hypnotic. 

“Relax your shoulders. Straighten your back.” 

She shifts, adjusting her seat to sit more comfortably. Breathes in. And out. Again. And again. 

Her hands are still trembling against her knees, and so she drops them into her lap, forming a small bowl out of them. 

“Now, circulate your chakra through your body.” 

Surprised, she cracks an eye open to give him an incredulous look. Really?! He’s been throwing rocks at her the whole morning for circulating her chakra and now he suddenly wants her to do it? 

Kakashi meets her eye calmly, expectantly, and she quickly closes it, focusing on her breathing again. In, and out. 

Slowly at first she begins to circulate her chakra. Through her aching legs first, where her chakra acts like a balm quickly taking away the edge of her pain. Bolder with her success she increases the circulation, spreading it up her torso, to encompass her shoulders and arms too. Even her head and her still lightly burning throat. 

“Don’t go too quickly. Keep it slow, or the effect won’t be as good.” 

Frowning in concentration she slows down the circulation. Slowing down automatically decreases the amount of chakra she’s circulating, which makes some of the pain return again with vengeance. It takes her a moment to figure out how to slow down without decreasing the amount of chakra she circulates. She experiments with the amounts, finding that too little chakra makes the pain return and too much makes her feel almost stuffed. 

There is a balance required. The perfect speed and amount to take away the most of the pain. Careful balancing that isn’t so easily managed. Somewhat like water walking, when the ebb and flow of the water forces her to adapt her output. Except there is no output as such here. Just the balance. 

“Just like that.” 

Kakashi’s voice is low and sounds almost distant. She listens but doesn’t pay him too much attention, still focused on finding the balance. It’s there. What she’s doing is pretty good, she can tell, but it’s not perfect. Like when she was still learning the transformation jutsu and the transformation was just a little bit off. Perfectly passable but not quite right. 

She cocks her head a little, relaxing her face. There. Like suddenly seeing the bull’s eye during target practice, finding that motion where everything just feels right. 

Perfect. 

She smiles a little, happy with herself. The chakra continues to circulate, soothing her aching muscles. 

Now that she’s found the rhythm, the balance, it flows perfectly. It feels perfectly natural, except it still takes most of her attention to keep her chakra flowing just so. 

“Good. Very good.” 

Kakashi-sensei’s words make her feel warm and almost giddy inside, but she remains focused on her chakra. 

“While we’re at it, there’s something I’d like to try,” Kakashi-sensei says, his voice still just as calm and soothing. “Let me know if you can feel it.” 

She’s too focused on her chakra to spare the attention needed to ask what she’s supposed to be feeling. 

The question answers itself a moment later, anyway. There is a sensation running over her, almost like the softest of winds or a tendril of water when she is already submerged. It’s not so much physical as just there , touching something deeper within her. 

“Again?” she speaks, annoyed at having to split her attention yet eager to figure out this new sensation. 

Whatever Kakashi-sensei is doing, he does it again, and this time she can almost grasp it. Chakra, she realises. Not her own. Kakashi’s.  

She doesn’t have to ask him to do it again. 

Curious, wanting to explore, she reaches out, only to frown in annoyance as it is her arm that reaches out. That won’t do. This isn’t physical. It is her chakra she’ll need to reach out with. 

She imagines reaching out with her chakra but it is fumbling in darkness, she can tell. It doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel natural . 

Her fingers twitch against her thigh as she tries again. This deep into meditation she is acutely though distantly aware of it. 

It is as if her hand has just touched the surface of a pond. 

Suddenly it’s not just her and her chakra; there’s so much more. Like rings on water, suddenly breaking the perfectly smooth surface revealing a whole new element to her senses. 

One moment it’s there, perfectly clear, and then it’s gone again. 

A gasp escapes her, wordless and probably not very elegant. She doesn’t care. Instead she reaches out again, and this time she is met by Kakashi-sensei’s chakra. Though her eyes are still closed she can feel him sitting there. Almost like she’s a boat on the pond and he’s another one, floating just nearby. 

A bigger boat, she realises after a moment. And fairly much bigger at that. 

“Is that … chakra?” she asks, even as she knows she must be right. 

“It is.” 

The two of them stand out clearly against the “water” of the pond but that is not the end of it. There is chakra everywhere around her, in much smaller concentration. Movement at the edge of her periphery catches her attention and she reaches out, curious to learn more. 

“Sakura-chan …” 

Whatever it is disappears out of her reach. Biting her lip she reaches out further, determined to find out what it was. 

Kakashi-sensei does something, sending out another wave of chakra. A series of waves even, creating ripples on the water until she can’t make sense of anything.

“Hey ..!” she protests. 

“Sorry Sakura-chan. Time to finish this experiment.” 

Suddenly she becomes aware of something much larger appearing nearby, quickly heading towards them. 

Her eyes fly open, concentration broken. Two men are approaching, flying over the rooftops heading straight for them. Kakashi-sensei stands, blocking her view of them. 

“Everything alright, Kakashi?” one of them asks as they land. 

Both of them eye him wearily.

“Yes, yes,” Kakashi says, waving lightly with his hand. “Just a small experiment with chakra control going a bit better than planned.” 

They don’t look entirely pleased. One of them, chewing a senbon in his mouth, looks from Kakashi to her and back. 

“You the one who reached out?” he asks at last. 

“I was just showing Sakura-chan here some chakra sensing tricks. I wasn’t expecting things to go so well, so I haven’t gone through proper protocols with her.” 

“She did that?” 

Both of them eye her sceptically. 

“How old is she anyway? Doesn’t look a day over thirteen.” 

Sakura frowns, but elects not to tell them that she’s not even that old. She’ll be thirteen in March. 

“Is she your new student?” the second one asks. 

“She is, and I promise I’ll teach her better the next time. Sorry to worry you both.” 

There is the same sensation before, almost like gentle waves across a blank lake. She feels it, even though it’s not as clear as before. A rhythm of three quick waves and then three slow ones. Coming from Kakashi-sensei. 

Cocking her head a little she can’t help but stare. He looks perfectly normal, smiling awkwardly at the other two jounin and scratching his head. They look mildly mollified. 

“Is it some sort of friend-code?” she guesses, speaking out loud before she can come up with any argument against asking. 

The two jounin look strangely at her again and Kakashi turns towards her, gently turning her around with a gentle grip on her shoulder and starting to steer her away. 

“Something like that, Sakura-chan. And when you reached out into the village like that, these nice guards read it as a cry for help, which is why they came running.” 

“Oh.” Her cheeks flush hotly in shame. “I’m sorry,” she says over her shoulder. 

“Yes, yes, sensei will teach you better next time. Sorry, sorry. Now let’s get going.” 

The two men give her sensei exasperated looks but don't object to their leaving, so Sakura allows herself to be steered away over the rooftops. When she glances back the guards are gone. 

It’s insane, Kakashi thinks as he steers his student towards training ground 14. 

Clearly, he’s losing his mind. 

Obviously. 

Because there is no way - no fucking way! - that his little apprentice, cute as she might be when she looks at him with those puppy-eyes, just did that. 

Just … no way. 

He’d known he was more than unreasonable already when he set her to running on the wall without using chakra to stabilise herself. It’s a great exercise, don’t get him wrong. He himself does it on the regular, to keep in shape. It’s just as he said, a good exercise in both chakra control and a good way to make an ordinary jog into a full-body workout. 

That said, it’s also a completely bullshit exercise. Like, copied straight out of Gai’s repertoire kind of bullshit. Kakashi knows of exactly two people who do it - him and Gai. Gai doesn’t even make his own students do it, because it’s just that complex! 

There are jounin who cannot do what she did. Plenty of jounin, actually. Yeah, they’d be able to keep up in the beginning, sure, no problem. But as they get more and more tired and exhausted, their muscles burning with pain with every step? That’s when chakra control inevitably slips. 

And though Sakura had slipped, she’d always wrangled her chakra back under control. Over and over and over again. Like she was just bathing an unruly cat, and not, you know, pushing her chakra down. She might as well have been holding her breath throughout it all, only taking a handful of breaths over the last hour or so. 

And then? As if that wasn’t enough of a feat, she’d finished the morning off by figuring out chakra meditation in like half an hour. 

So, clearly, he’s going insane. 

They reach the training ground, and Kakashi notices that there’s still signs of team 7’s last meeting there. The signed trees from Sasuke’s fire jutsu, the tree with a hole in its trunk after Sasuke’s chidori and the uneven stump left after Naruto’s rasengan. 

Shaking his head lightly, Kakashi turns away from the view to focus instead on the one student that still remains in the village. He finds her looking the same way he was, her eyes distant as she no doubt recalls the same memories. 

“Kakashi-sensei?” she asks at last, pulling out of her reverie. “What… what happened, back there?” 

She’s not talking about the trees. 

Taking a deep breath Kakashi tries to gather his thoughts, because he’s not entirely sure himself what happened. He’ll have to write an incident report for accidentally triggering the internal village security network, but that’s secondary. Or tertiary. 

Unimportant, at any rate. 

What is important is how a genin, not even a full year out of the Academy, somehow mastered the basics of not only chakra meditation but also chakra sensing in something like 30 minutes. 

“Ah, nothing important,” he answers her question. “We just managed to trigger an internal security network. Anyway, are you sure you haven’t meditated before?” 

She pales. 

“We triggered the security network? How?” 

Kakashi sighs. Kids. Unable to follow even the simplest of conversations. 

“When you reached out,” he clarifies. 

She continues to look confused so in the interest of being a good sensei - he will have to teach her this stuff eventually anyway, and now is probably a good time before something like this happens again - he decides to elaborate. 

“Before that we were simply playing around a little with chakra meditation and sensing. But when you reached out it was far enough to trigger the sensor network that the guards monitor. I tried to send the no danger signal, but they were already en route I suppose and decided to investigate anyway.” 

Her eyes grow larger, the green ridiculously intense between her pink eyelashes. 

“But chakra meditation and chakra sensing are difficult, dangerous skills!” she objects. “All the books advise against practising it on your own!” 

“So?” he asks, not entirely sure what her point is. She wasn't doing it on her own after all. 

“So! That wasn’t … That wasn’t that, was it?” 

Her voice is exasperated and confused and she waves her hand vaguely, as if that will somehow clarify what that is supposed to mean. 

“That wasn’t what? Difficult?” 

She shakes her head. “Not the way the book says it should be.” 

He resists the temptation to sigh again, because of course she’s read extensively about such a boring and complex subject as chakra control. Why not? Any literature there is on the subject is only about as dry as sand, after all. 

“Admittedly it was only the basics,” he says, studying her reaction as he speaks. “But the chakra meditation went well above expectation, and I just wanted to see if you were able to feel when I reached out to you with my chakra. I wasn’t expecting you to be able to reach out on your own.” 

“But that’s … that’s impossible!” 

And she looks just about as flustered and confused as Kakashi himself feels, though he admittedly does a better job of hiding it. Because it should be impossible for anyone to master even just chakra meditation that quickly. That she has gotten the control that she has of circulating her chakra is a small wonder of chakra control in and of itself. To find the golden balance of rhythm and chakra density on her first try consciously meditating with it is basically unheard of. 

Actually, Kakashi is pretty certain that he has never heard of it before. 

Then again, he shouldn’t be surprised of what either of his students are capable of. Naruto’s stamina and shadow clones and Sasuke’s sheer skill and potential is proof of that. 

Shrugging, he decides to deal with that issue later. 

“So, back to my question: are you sure you haven’t meditated before?” 

She shakes her head, still looking disbelieving. 

“The Academy covered it briefly, but I haven’t really been practising or anything.” 

Kakashi sighs, wanting to question the truth in her words. However, the earnest way in which she meets his eyes and the tone of her voice speaks only of truth. And he’s pretty sure he’s supposed to have learned some kind of lesson when it comes to questioning her abilities and accusing her of lying.  

“Regardless,” he says, shaking his head a little, “we’ve better finish what we started before you wind up getting in trouble when I’m not here to help you out. Let’s get back to meditating, shall we?” 

They sit down on the soft forest floor, like before facing each other. Kakashi watches as she takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and slowly starts to fall into meditation again. What he sees further convinces him that she’s not lying about just having learned meditation. Her original position is the basic Academy taught one, but she squirms and adjusts. She drops her hands onto her lap, rolls her shoulders and frowns as she tries to focus on the task. 

“Just breathe,” he instructs her. “Relax your face, drop your shoulders.” 

Slowly she relaxes, falling into meditation with only the occasional twitch to show that she’s still struggling with it. He can tell when she starts to circulate her chakra. Her face, though still relaxed, gets a certain focus and a small smile graces her lips. Allowing himself to fall into a meditative state, he can feel the slow flow of her chakra. 

“Now, without reaching too far, see if you can sense me.” 

At first there is no reaction except for the light frown on her face. Then her hand twitches, just a little, her index finger lightly tapping against the back of her other hand, and he can feel her extend her awareness, extending out and around her in a circle until it reaches him. He replies by doing the same, his own awareness extending until she registers like a blip on a radar. 

“This is the Konoha general sign for no danger,” he explains, gently sending out three quick pulses followed by three slower ones. “If you ever do trigger the internal security again, that is the signal to give to any responding shinobi. Try it.” 

Almost immediately her index finger taps three times against her hand as she sends out three, quick little pulses. If she were older, or further along in her studies, he might ask her not to move. The action of tapping is a crutch that she doesn’t ultimately need. 

“Good, and now three slower ones.” 

More hesitantly, likely because she hasn’t quite figured out how to pace her pulses yet - Kakashi himself took more than a day to do that, even with Minato-sensei guiding him. Again her finger twitches, and this time the taps are slower. And indeed, the pulses are too. 

Fucking. 

Insane. 

“Again.” 

Obediently she taps her finger, three quick ones and three slower ones, and the corresponding pulses of chakra gently lap against his own. She smiles, and almost as if she’s teasing the speechless part of him she does it again. And again, and again, and again and-

“Good. Once should be enough if you ever trigger the security though.” 

She settles down again, smiling widely before she asks; 

“How did I trigger the security?” 

Her voice is slow, lower than normal. As if it’s taking more effort to speak than she’s used to. Which is of course perfectly natural. There are more experienced meditators than her who can’t speak and maintain their relaxed state. 

“Remember how you reached out? That’s a general, internal SOS code for whenever. If you’re ever in need of assistance, just send out a single pulse and the nearest guard on duty will come to your aid.” 

“But I did the same with you just now.” She frowns, confused. 

“You reached out much further then. As long as you keep your pulses close to you, and/or you keep your training to actual training areas, there should be no danger of triggering any security.” 

“Ah.” 

They sit in silence for a while as she experiments with her chakra control, sending little pulses of varying speed in his direction. Kakashi quietly marvels at how quickly she picks it up and can’t help but compare her to her teammates. He’s not sure what he’d expected, but this … yeah, this is probably not it. 

A small chuckle escapes him as he thinks of the composition of the team; Naruto with his unparallelled stamina, Sasuke with his astonishing skill and now Sakura with her prodigious chakra control. An extraordinary team, through and through. 

Then he frowns, because there is no team 7 anymore. Only him, and Sakura. 

Master and apprentice. 

And the things he’s learning about her already! Her file from the Academy had spoken about good grades in the academic subject, decent practical skills and above average chakra control. A typical genjutsu-type, in other words. Overall rare, but not particularly remarkable in and of itself. 

Sakura, however … Naruto’s file had been filled with his many shortcomings, but also spoken about stamina only limited by his motivation. Similarly, Sasuke’s file had been that of a well-rounded shinobi but ultimately failed to fully capture his skill and potential. How come that someone with Sakura’s chakra control did not have the words Chakra Genius! stamped in big, bold letters across her file? 

He detects the presence of Gai and his students, as they make their way towards Sakura and him. They must have finished with their warm up exercises then. 

“I think we’re finished with chakra-control exercises for today,” he comments. 

He waits until he feels her draw her own chakra back in until he does the same, watching as her eyes slowly flutter open. 

“Can I ask something?” she asks after a few moments. 

He nods his approval, and she continues. 

“What was that thing I was trying to reach for before?” 

“A cat.” 

More precisely it had been Tora, the cat of the Daimyo’s wife. Which in turn explains why the guards were so near. With Madam Shijimi back in town, security must be heightened. 

“Oh. I suppose that explains why it felt so … small,” Sakura comments with a somewhat stumped expression on her face. 

“An animal will indeed feel much smaller than a human, just like most civilians will feel much smaller than a shinobi once you learn to tell the difference.” 

She looks like she wants to ask more but right then Gai and his students appear through the forest. Given her surprised expression Kakashi deduces that she didn’t sense them coming. 

“Finished your run at last then?” Kakashi greets them. 

Gai immediately rises to the implied insult, conveniently forgetting that he and his students have run many more laps than Kakashi and Sakura. 

“Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura asks, interrupting as Kakashi goads Gai into a fit of youthful energies and challenges. 

“Hm?” He gives her a distracted look. 

“What are we doing here?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” He gives her a jovial smile that immediately has her looking weary. She’s learning, then. “You are going to spar against Gai’s students.”

Chapter Text

“Isn’t it obvious? You are going to spar against Gai’s students.” 

Something between a groan and a gasp escapes Sakura - quite an undignified sound, which just makes it all that much worse, doesn’t it? She looks from her sensei - and for a moment she’d almost forgotten what a sadistic bastard he is - to Gai-sensei and his students. All three of them are present now, she notes. The girl - Tenten - looks sweaty but has the same determined expression as Lee, while Hyuuga Neji looks rather more the perfect picture of calm dignity beside them. Last time Sakura saw him he was still on crutches. Now he’s walking under his own power, though from the fact that he wasn’t running on the wall with the others, Sakura surmises that he might still be recovering from his injuries. 

She swallows nervously, keenly aware how pathetic she must look to the three of them. Though the chakra meditation - and she still can’t believe that she is apparently learning something supposedly as difficult as chakra meditation! - has eased away most of the pain from her muscles, she’s still exhausted. Sweaty, exhausted and disgusting! 

And Kakashi-sensei is expecting her to do more today. 

After what has already been the most intense workout she’s ever had. 

The other three genin studies her with the same curiosity that she studies them. Neither of them look nearly as exhausted as she feels, and Lee is practically bouncing on his feet in excitement. Meanwhile, Sakura is drenched in sweat, and her clothes are rumpled and even have green splotches on them from sitting on the grass. 

“Lee and Neji here,” Kakashi-sensei continues, gesturing to the two boys, “are excellent Taijutsu users, and this young lady I’m told is very proficient with bukijutsu. Watching you fight them will give me a great opportunity to evaluate your skills.” 

“The name’s Tenten,” Tenten says, immediately glaring daggers at Kakashi. “I ain’t no young lady .” 

If Kakashi-sensei notices her glaring it falls off of him like water on a duck. 

“Who wants to go first?” Gai-sensei asks, eyeing his students expectantly. 

“Oh, oh, I’ll go first Gai-sensei!” Lee answers immediately, eagerly raising his hand and waving it around in a manner that reminds her of Naruto. “And if I lose I shall run another twelve laps around the village, I swear!” 

“Lee, you will run those laps regardless of whether you win or lose.” 

Gai-sensei’s voice is stern but Lee only looks motivated, hands fisted as he swears loudly to do his best not to put his sensei's teachings to shame. 

Sakura looks at Kakashi, hoping against hope that he will declare the whole thing a joke and that they are done for the day. When he doesn’t, she reluctantly steps away into the middle of the training field. Lee joins her a moment later, teary eyed from his passionate declarations of dedication and motivation. 

They face off. 

Remembering his fight during the Chunin Exams, she automatically takes a defensive stance. He’d been very fast and skilled, only defeated because he’d been poisoned from a very minor wound. She can’t afford to underestimate him. 

“I want you to know,” he says as they face off, eyes gleaming with determination, “that although it pains me to fight such a beautiful blossom such as yourself, I will not dishonour you by giving it anything less than my best! And I expect you to do your best in return!”

She cocks her head a little, confused at the declaration. Though she can’t quite put her finger on it there is something about it that feels like a backhanded compliment. She’s not quite sure that she appreciates the promise of him doing his best against her - especially given how tired her muscles still are - but at least he’s taking her seriously. 

“I’ll do my best,” she says, raising her hands a little higher and giving him a small smile. 

“Good. As the protégés of our respective sensei then, we are forevermore Eternal Rivals in honour of their Springtime of Youth.” 

Her surprise doesn’t even have time to register fully before he’s attacking her and she hastily has to block a series of powerful strikes. Ow, she thinks as her forearms take the pure force and she is forced to stumble backwards. He really isn’t pulling his punches against her.  

The series of punches is exchanged for a violent kick and she hastily jumps backwards, trying to create some space between them. However he’s quick to follow, forcing her to retreat further to avoid another kick. 

The kicks and blows keep overlapping each other quickly enough that she doesn’t have the chance to regain her footing properly, much less to anything but hastily try to block them. 

It isn’t long before a sweeping kick manages to get under her guard, hitting her painfully on the hip. She goes flying, crash landing clumsily. Both of her elbows and one knee scrape painfully against the ground, the trousers tearing in the process, and her eyes tear up with pain. 

Before she has the time to get up again, Lee is at her again and she just barely has the time to throw her hands up to block his blow. Kneeling as she is, she's unable to bring her legs up to protect her unguarded belly from the following kick, and she sees his foot approaching with terrifying speed. 

Her hands run through the signs - tiger, boar, ox, dog - and already before she can form the snake-sign she feels her body being pulled away in the body replacement technique. 

Wood splinters beneath Lee’s foot and she takes a deep breath, relieved to have escaped that. Careful to keep her head down she watches him from the tree she now finds herself in. He turns around in the clearing, looking around for her. She won’t be able to stay hidden for long, she knows. She’ll have to come up with some sort of plan, but what to do? 

He’s stronger than she is, she states to herself. There’s no way that she’ll be able to beat him using brute force. But Kakashi-sensei wants to see what she can do, so she has to do her best. 

Even if she’s doomed to fail. She’ll just have to channel her inner Naruto, and his unwavering optimism. 

Speaking of Naruto … 

Her fingers run through the signs - ram, snake, tiger - and she throws herself from the tree with a clone on each side. They’re not like Naruto’s shadow clones, just the Academy-taught clone technique, but she sees Lee’s eyes grow a fraction larger with surprise. 

“A worthy rival indeed, Sakura-san,” he says. 

He attacks the clone on her left first, giving her the opportunity to grab a fistful of dirt to throw in his face to further confuse him. His kick goes straight through her clone and he blinks rapidly against the dirt, trying to clear his eyes. 

Sakura exchanges places with the clone on her right, so when Lee kicks out his foot passes right through again. The kick leaves him momentarily unbalanced and she aims her own kick. 

Vaguely she hears Gai and Tenten gasp from the sidelines but she doesn’t have the time to worry about that. 

Her foot connects with his stomach and he falls into a roll, quite a bit more elegant than her own fall previously. When he comes out of the roll he’s facing her again, hands already up to parr her blows. 

“Excellent display that not only skill but also smarts is required to win a fight,” Lee says, his eyes gleaming with excitement. He’s practically vibrating with it. 

Her muscles are already protesting the fighting and she doesn’t have the breath to answer him. Instead she sinks down in a crouch, aiming another kick at him in hopes that a kick might cause some damage. 

Lee easily blocks her kick with both of his arms, not even wincing with the force of her kick. A moment later his hand locks around her ankle and she has a moment to register the devious smile he gives her before she is sent flying again. 

She crashes into a tree, having just enough presence of mind to crawl up into a ball to protect herself from damage. The force of it has her mind spinning, and by the time she can orient herself enough to separate up from down she finds herself sprawled against the base of the tree with Lee standing over her. 

“I yield,” she groans. 

Immediately Lee steps back, offering a hand to help her up. She accepts it, groaning in pain. Quickly she checks that nothing is broken. She’s got scrapes, bruises and tears in her clothes, but to her relief nothing is broken. 

“Well fought, Sakura-san.” 

“Thanks. Sorry I wasn’t more of a match.” 

They exchange brief smiles, make the seal of reconciliation and make their way back towards where the others are waiting for them. 

“You were a worthy opponent nonetheless, Sakura-san. And I am sure we will face each other again.” 

As they approach the others she finds them eyeing the two of them strangely and she worriedly checks herself over again. Scrapes and bruises but no serious damage, and none of the tears in her clothes are anywhere indecent. So why ..? 

“Ma, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi-sensei drawls, “if your kick had only been aimed a little bit lower you could have won that match.” 

Beside her Lee blushes and Sakura looks confused between him and her sensei. What does he ..? 

When she realises what he means she blushes furiously herself. “Sensei! That’s vulgar!” 

Even so she makes a mental note of it. In another fight, against someone who is not a comrade, it might be useful. 

“Well fought Lee! Who’s next?” Gai eagerly eyes his two remaining students and they exchange glances. 

“Ladies first,” Neji says, mock-bowing to Tenten. 

She scowls at him, but steps up to face Sakura in the middle of the clearing. Before Sakura has a chance to take a stance, Tenten pulls out a scroll from one of her pockets, unrolling it and swiftly summoning a long metal stick, studded with sharp looking iron spikes. 

“You don’t mind if I use my kanabo, do you?” she asks, smiling sweetly as she takes a stance with her legs far apart. “I know it’s not a very ladylike weapon.” 

The last part is delivered with another glare at Kakashi-sensei. 

Sakura swallows nervously and gives Kakashi a half hearted glare of her own. He had to go and make Tenten angry with that lady-comment, didn’t he? And Neji is just as bad, clearly gauding his teammate on. 

“Of course not,” she replies, trying to hide the tremor in her voice. 

It’s not as if she has much of a choice anyway. Wearily she eyes the sharp spikes. She cannot let Tenten get a hit in. That thing will easily break her bones, even without the spikes. The kanabo is almost as tall as Tenten herself, with a handle thin enough for the other girl to comfortably hold on to but thickening out until it is about as thick as a leg at the end. The spikes start about halfway up and Sakura can’t help but think that it looks a bit overkill. Like a tool capable of breaking through thick armour. Or walls or … anything really. 

Either way it is definitely not a very ladylike weapon. 

Taking a deep breath she pulls out two kunai of her own, hoping that the fighting style of the kanabo is somewhat like that of a sword. Because at least she has some experience fighting Tanigawa and his sword, even if fighting a literal war club will no doubt be very different. 

When Tenten swings the kanabo, Sakura abruptly realises that it is nothing at all like Tanigawa’s sword. The similarities begin and end with the two handed grip. While a sword will break her skin and make her bleed, the kanabo promises to break bones even more surely than Lee’s blows earlier, and certainly will not be stopped by a kunai or two. 

With an undignified squeal she drops her kunai and throws herself out of the way. Tenten has a positively wicked smile on her face as she takes a step forward to recover from the blow and quickly steer the club into another wide arch heading for Sakura. 

Forced to retreat again, Sakura scrambles for anything resembling an idea. Using kunai against the kanabo will be about as useful as sewing needles; likely to break from the sheer weight and force of the thing and unlikely to do any damage at all. 

“You can’t keep dodging forever,” Tenten taunts her as she throws herself out of the way of another blow. 

Even so, the words do help Sakura form the beginnings of a plan. The kanabo is tall and heavy, no doubt requiring a substantial amount of effort to swing. If she can keep dodging long enough, Tenten might tire herself out enough to make a mistake. Maybe even leave an opening that Sakura can exploit. 

That plan in mind, Sakura dodges another blow, using a little bit of chakra in her feet and legs to shoot off further away to create some decent distance. As soon as she lands again Tenten is already running at her and Sakura’s hands weave through the signs - ram, snake, tiger. 

Clones at her side, she runs towards Tenten, both her and the clones running in a zig-zag pattern as to hide who the real her is. As they get closer she falls back a little, allowing the clones to take the lead. 

Tenten swings at the first clone and the club runs straight through it. Sakura is already creating more clones as Tenten regains her balance enough to swing again, aiming for the second clone. 

When the club passes through the second clone and Tenten spots the barrage of clones - nowhere near Naruto-amounts but a respectable four more - she growls in annoyance. Quickly adapting her footing she swings again and this time the club passes through two of her clones. The remaining two draw their kunai to attack as Tenten is still regaining her footing. With a look at the two kunai wielding clones Tenten shoots off, jumping back a few metres to create distance between them. 

For a few moments Sakura and her clones face off against Tenten again in silence, neither moving. Tenten's eyes move between her three opponents and finally locks onto Sakura with a smirk. 

“Found you,” she says. 

Ignoring the useless clones she shoots forward again, heading straight for Sakura. 

Crap! she has the time to think before she catapults herself away, leaving behind a small crater in the ground. She lands in a tree on the other side of the clearing, quickly locating Tenten again. 

The other girl is already on the move, halfway across the clearing with the kanabo raised high. Surprised, and terrified at the growing realisation that Tenten does not only wield a powerful weapon but she also does so at great speed and agility, Sakura kicks off again. This time she keeps her eyes carefully trained on Tenten, hoping to spot a weakness. 

There is a momentary delay as Tenten recovers her balance again, forcefully pulling the heavy kanabo in another direction to follow Sakura. Hoping to take advantage of the delay, Sakura throws a barrage of shuriken towards Tenten, but once the girl gets moving again she easily dodges the shuriken as her eyes lock once more unto Sakura. 

Out of any better ideas than to stay out of the way, Sakura jumps again, weaving through the signs for the clone technique again as she does so. As she lands the clones and her shoot in different directions. 

Forced to take a moment to look carefully, Tenten follows all three Sakuras with her eyes. All three of them weave through the signs for the clone jutsu again but it is only her who actually creates another two clones. Tenten immediately locks on to the fact, so when she lands again Sakura makes sure that she and a clone change places before they jump off again. 

This time she refrains from doing any more clones. She’s at her limit anyway. 

With Tenten once more unsure of which is the true Sakura, she follows the newer clones to join the older ones, mingling with them until she is certain that Tenten can’t tell which is the true one from this distance. 

Off they go again, and as Tenten struggles to keep all five of them in her sight Sakura takes the first opportunity to hide when Tenten is distracted. Her clones continue to move, jumping around, feinting attacks and keeping enough distance between themselves and Tenten that it is not readily apparent that they are all clones. 

“I can keep swinging all day!” Tenten shouts at her. “I dare you to come closer!” 

Crouching low in a treetop, hidden by the leaves, Sakura believes her. Their fight has already gone on for much longer than the earlier fight against Lee, and Tenten shows no signs of exhaustion. 

What can she do then? If she can’t get into close combat for fear of breaking her bones, if her own kunai and shuriken are basically useless and if Tenten won’t tire, what can she possibly do? 

Her mind comes up blank. 

“You know, Sakura-chan, while running and hiding might be a good idea in a real life battle, the idea of this exercise is for me to see you actually fight.” 

Kakashi-sensei’s voice is calm but clearly audible across the clearing. As she peeks out from her hideout she sees that he’s looking straight at the tree she’s hiding in. 

Tenten sees him looking too. 

Traitor, she thinks before she runs again. 

Not about to let her join the clones again, Tenten shoots off too, jumping up to meet her in the air even as she wields the kanabo. Sakura curses silently, seeing the club coming straight for her. Tiger, boar, ox, dog - she vaguely notes that she doesn’t seem to need the last snake sign again to make her chakra perform the jutsu - and the body replacement technique pulls her out of the way. 

Behind her, the block of wood splinters under the force of Tenten's blow and Sakura has a moment to think that all of Gai’s team seem to be ridiculously overpowered. When Tenten lands in the tree again she struggles for a moment to regain her balance, and Sakura sends another barrage of shuriken her way. This time the other girl yelps and hastily has to jump out of the way. 

That’s it! Ruthlessly using the exposed opening, Sakura sends another shuriken, aiming for precision rather than quantity this time. She doesn’t have that many shuriken left in her pouch, after all. 

Once more Tenten is hastily forced to dodge the shuriken, pulling the heavy club with her. Sakura ponders briefly that Tenten looks agile enough that without the club it’d be next to impossible to hit her. However, out of balance and dragging the club with her, Tenten is at last at a small disadvantage and Sakura can’t afford not to use it. 

The next time Tenten lands, Sakura sends a kunai flying towards her, following it closely herself. Again Tenten manages to dodge the attack but when she jumps aside Sakura is there, kunai glinting dangerously as she strikes. 

Tenten has just enough time to pull the kanabo up to protect herself. 

Prepared for the block, Sakura is already halfway through the signs for the body replacement technique again, and the club crashes into another block of wood. Sakura doesn’t give herself time to regain her breath after the replacement, immediately shooting off towards Tenten’s exposed back. 

Caught between the splintering wood and Sakura, unable to turn around to protect herself whilst still in the air, Tenten at last drops the club. With only her own body she is agile enough to avoid Sakura’s attack, but when they finally land on the ground Tenten pulls out two kunai of her own. 

The club lands some distance away, momentarily forgotten. 

“You should have kept dodging,” Tenten smirks. 

The attacks that follow are so quick Sakura is barely able to get her own kunai up in time to block the blows. Kunai clash against kunai, and quicker than she can think Tenten is shifting, attacking again. She twists out of the way, dancing out of range only to have Tenten advancing on her again with ruthless efficiency. 

Before she knows it she’s caught with her back against a tree and Tenten’s kunai against her throat. 

“I yield!” she hurriedly calls, panting heavily. 

Tenten remains frozen in place for another moment before she backs off, pocketing her kunai and heading off to collect her club. 

“I can’t believe you forced me to drop my club,” she comments as she returns. 

She flashes Sakura a smile. Hesitantly Sakura smiles back. 

“Me neither,” she admits. “That thing is terrifying.” 

Tenten makes a face. 

“Maybe it was a bit overkill. It is intended as an anti-armour weapon, after all. Sorry.” 

Sakura blanches a little. She’d thought as much, but hearing it confirmed somehow seems to make it more real. 

“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” she comments as they join the others. 

Tenten shares a high five with Gai and Lee, and Sakura shoots Kakashi a pleading look. She’s exhausted already and he has surely seen plenty of her fighting today! Even if it is two losses he has seen. 

“Your turn, Neji-kun!” Gai says eagerly. “Do your best!” 

“You too, Sakura-chan.” Kakashi-sensei gives her a wholly unapologetic smile. 

Still breathing more heavily than usual from her previous two matches, Sakura slowly makes her way back out into the middle of the clearing. From the corner of her eye she studies Neji. His walk is confident and relaxed. If he has any remaining issues from his injuries from the fight against Gaara of the Sand he doesn’t show it. Given the fact that he’s a fellow Konoha shinobi she can’t even be angry that Tsunade-sama has done an excellent job healing his injuries. 

Even if that also means that her chance of winning is that much smaller. 

“Fair warning,” Neji says as they take their stances, his voice calm and polite, “my Byakugan is able to easily tell the difference between you and a clone, so don’t bother with the clone technique.” 

Mentally cursing, she falls into a defensive stance, hoping to at least be able to hold him off long enough to offer some resistance. They face off against each other and his pale eyes meet hers as he takes the stance she remembers from the Chunin Exams. She’s ashamed to note that her arms are trembling with exhaustion. 

It takes her a few moments to realise that he’s waiting for her to attack rather than to attack himself. She’s not sure whether she should be grateful or not. 

“Taijutsu?” she asks, suddenly hesitant. 

“Whatever you wish to use.” 

His voice is calm and his face relaxed. It takes her a moment to realise that the haughtiness she remembers from their first meeting and his fight against Hinata during the Chunin Exams is gone. 

“Alright.” 

After a brief hesitation, she whips out her remaining shuriken, sending them in a barricade towards him. He easily dances out of the way, to her surprise even plucking one of them out of its trajectory and sending it back towards her with effortless elegance. 

With a yelp she pulls out a kunai to deflect it, awkwardly noting that he’s still not attacking. Apparently he’s perfectly comfortable waiting for her to attack. 

Clenching her jaw in determination, she draws another kunai and attacks. Coming at a friendly opponent armed while he’s unarmed feels strange but she pushes the feeling aside. She needs every advantage she can get. 

He easily parrs her attack, hands somehow reaching past the edge of her kunai and pushing her arms wide aside. Once past her defence his hands swiftly come at her again, pushing at her chest and sending her stumbling backwards. 

Exhausted she stumbles over her own feet, landing roughly on her bum. Instinctively she brings her kunai up to protect herself against the follow up attack, only to realise that it’s not coming.

He stands where he last was, having returned to his original position and patiently awaiting her attack. 

“This is humiliating,” she grumbles as she stands, painfully aware that neither Tenten nor Lee would have allowed her the room to do so in their fights. 

Neji doesn’t answer and she can only be grateful that at least he’s not taunting her. 

Once more she faces him, taking a more offensive stance now that she knows that he’s waiting for her to attack. Studying him for a few moments she adjusts her grip on her kunai, allowing the blades to run more parallel to her forearms. It means a greater risk of cutting herself, but it should also make it more difficult for him to parr her blows. 

Distantly, she notes that he hasn’t even activated his byakugan yet. 

Before she can lose her nerve she attacks again, circulating chakra through her limbs to make herself faster and stronger. Despite this he easily keeps up, somehow managing to par her blows anyway. This time she is careful to quickly bring her arms back inwards again, not leaving herself exposed like last time. 

They exchange blows, or rather he blocks her attacks and doesn’t attack back, leaving enough opportunity for her to strike again. The gap in their skills is obvious, even to her. 

With a growl she forces more chakra into her arms. If she can’t get in a good hit she’ll at least make those blocks painful! 

“Byakugan!” 

Before her eyes, Neji’s pupils dilate, becoming more distinctive in his otherwise pale eyes, and the veins around the eyes bulge. The sight alone is enough to make her hesitate but she forces herself to continue. 

The next blow is spurred by chakra, circulating rapidly through her arm to give it more strength. Except when Neji parries her this time there is a distinctive sting to it that wasn’t there before, and her chakra twitches . 

She gasps and drops her kunai in pure surprise. That’s definitely not normal. 

Having some idea of what his fighting style is from having watched him fight Hinata during the chunin exams, she tries to redirect her second blow. He blocks her nonetheless, with a similar sting as before. This time she just barely manages to hold on to her kunai and she quickly swings it towards him again, aiming lower. Towards his stomach rather than his chest, which is where his guard is at. 

Despite her best attempts he easily blocks her, redirecting the power of the blow in such a way that she finds herself stumbling, out of balance. His other hand forms a fist and connects with her diaphragm. Thankfully not one of his clan techniques, because the blow is painful enough as it is. 

Her lungs spasm as she falls to her knees, struggling to breathe through the pain. Stars dance before her eyes, and all she can think of is the burning need for air . 

“I think it is fair to say that Neji-kun won that one,” she hears Kakashi-sensei say once she can focus beyond the sheer need to breathe. 

Yeah, Sakura can only agree. Neji definitely won that one. 

Kakashi-sensei and her have lunch in a nearby park, opting on Kakashi’s discretion to sit in the trees rather than on any of the available park benches. 

At this point Sakura is too exhausted to protest. 

It’s probably easier to just run with his weird quirks. 

“Please tell me we’re not doing more training after lunch?” she says halfway through the meal, when she’s feeling slightly more human again. 

She eyes the remains of her bento box, looks at Kakashi-sensei and remembers her earlier episode throwing up on the wall. That does not need a repeat. 

“Not in that sense, no.” 

His assurance is less than comforting. Giving him another hesitant look, she slowly starts to eat again. 

His bento is already finished, of course. 

When they are done eating, he thankfully doesn’t lead her back towards the training grounds, but rather towards the market place. Which might not be that much of an improvement, given her current condition. Her muscles are stiff and aching now that she has been sitting still for a while, making her movements awkward and jerky. The numerous scrapes on her arms and legs have started to scab over, and she hasn’t bothered to bandage any of them properly in anticipation of a shower and a chance to properly clean them. 

Not to mention that she stinks. 

All in all, Sakura blindly follows Kakashi-sensei through the crowds, staring at the ground rather than watching people undoubtedly stare at her in disgust. Which is why she doesn’t even notice where they’re going until it’s too late. 

Tanigawa Armory.  

Sakura lingers by the door for a moment, wondering when this day of repeated humiliation on her part will end. Kakashi-sensei, of course, has no such qualms. 

“Don’t linger, Sakura-chan. We’ve got plenty of places to visit today.” 

Reluctantly, she follows him further into the shop. It hasn’t changed at all since her last visit, it seems. One large room, well lit and filled with various display cases showcasing different kinds of kunai, shuriken and other smaller weapons. The walls serve as displays for numerous different swords, glinting sharply in the light. 

Kakashi ignores the wares at display and heads immediately for the counter at the back, leaving Sakura to trail behind him. 

“I want to establish a line of credit for my apprentice,” he declares as he reaches the counter. 

To Sakura’s horror, it’s Tanigawa Akihiro manning the desk. He looks up from whatever he’s been doodling on, eyeing first Kakashi and then noticing her behind him. His eyes grow larger with surprise. 

“Sakura! Are you alright?” 

In a moment he’s up, rounding the counter and Kakashi. Surprisingly gentle hands grasp on to her arm, lifting it up to inspect some of the more badly looking scratches there. 

Please, let her die now. 

Please, just let a hole open up in the ground and swallow her whole. 

Please, anything to end this humiliation. 

“I’m fine. Just, uh … coming straight from training, that’s all.” 

Her cheeks are burning and she cannot make herself meet his eyes. Or look at Kakashi-sensei. 

“Let me help you bandage that up.” 

Uncaring of her protests and Kakashi-sensei’s raised eyebrow, he swiftly pulls her behind the counter, pushing her to sit on the stool there. A basic healing kit is retrieved from a drawer and a moment later he is dabbing on her wounds with an antiseptic. 

“You don’t have to do this,” she manages to protest after a few moments of awkward silence.

“It’s no problem.” 

“No really, I just scraped myself during practice.” 

She tries to pull her arm away but his grip is surprisingly firm, even as he remains gentle as he takes care of her wounded arms. 

“Sit still for two minutes and let me take care of you, will you? Sheesh.” His voice is still gentle, but also chiding.  

Awkwardly, she stills again, allowing him to finish cleaning both of the scraped arms and then bandage them up. Her face continues to burn with humiliation, but now she cannot make herself look away from him as he takes care of her. 

His hands as he works, the focused expression on his face. 

The way a green lock of hair has fallen out of his ponytail and is brushing against his cheek. 

“Ma, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi-sensei says, breaking the moment in the most awfully teasing tone, “what will Sasuke-kun say when he finds out he’s been replaced so quickly?” 

It’s a wonder she doesn’t drop down dead from sheer embarrassment. 

“Stop being so crude, sensei! It’s nothing like that!” She gives him the most potent glare she can manage, which probably isn’t very frightening at all. 

He smiles genially back at her and strolls off to browse the store. 

Where are those Kiri-people who may or may not be after her when she could use them? Just … come take her now. Kidnap her, kill her, whatever. She doesn’t care. 

Tanigawa’s gentle hands on her trousers, rolling them up to reveal her scraped knee, breaks her out of her fantasy of dying. 

“Ouch. That one looks like it hurts.” 

Wincing sympathetically he starts swabbing that too. The sting of the antiseptic makes her flinch at first and he gives her an apologetic look as he continues. It makes something in her stomach twist; not quite uncomfortably, but not entirely comfortably either. 

“I can take care of my own injuries,” she informs him, glancing towards Kakashi where he’s browsing stacks of exploding tags. 

“Then why haven’t you?” 

That she was too tired to even think about it doesn't seem like a good argument for her own competence, somehow, and so she doesn’t answer. She watches him work, her fingers digging into her thighs as she endures his care. 

“This one is deeper than the others,” he frowns. 

She winces but doesn’t reply. It hurts a lot more than the smaller scrapes on her arms do. 

Akihiro glances up at her, and then towards Kakashi-sensei and back, before focusing back on the knee before him and muttering quietly; “You’d think a responsible sensei would make sure your wounds are seen to.”

Definitely not quietly enough that Kakashi doesn’t hear him. 

Worriedly, she glances over towards him again, but diverts her gaze before their eyes can meet. Though she’s seeing and learning a lot more of Kakashi-sensei lately, she can’t really imagine him as the overly caring type. 

Definitely not the kind of sensei to sit on someone’s bedside. 

Especially not unless it’s, like, really serious. 

“It’s not that bad,” she answers, trying and not quite succeeding to make her tone dismissive. “Just … scrapes. It’s not the worst I’ve had from training.” 

Not very far from the worst either, but she doesn’t need to tell him that. He’ll probably find some way to make fun of her for it anyway. 

And why is he being so kind all of a sudden? Last time they saw each other they had gone right back to their rivalry, exchanging insults and fighting and she had liked that. 

As much as she liked anything Tanigawa, at least. 

She doesn’t like this kinder Tanigawa who probably pities her. 

“Well, forgive my civilian sensibilities then and allow me to take care of it anyway.” There is a certain bite to his tone, but the hands are still gentle as he bandages her knee. 

Her mouth snaps shut with an almost audible click and she flinches, not entirely from the pain. 

Wanting to say something smart she struggles for words, watching him work as her mind scrambles for order. Before she’s done sorting through her thoughts he has finished bandaging up her knee. 

“There. All done.” 

He stands, packing up the first aid kit and returning it to the drawer it came from. While he does so, he doesn’t look at her and she suddenly wishes that he would. 

“Thank you.” Rolling her trousers back down she stands and walks around the counter. 

Kakashi-sensei joins them a moment later, and she’s not sure whether she’s relieved or not. 

Tanigawa still doesn’t look at her. 

“About that line of credit?” Kakashi says casually, depositing an impressive amount of mixed kunai, shuriken, exploding tags and other small equipment on the counter. 

“Ah, yes.” Tanigawa diggs out a small stack of papers and a pen from another drawer. “What was the name?” 

“Hatake Kakashi.” 

Still awkward, strangely aware of the fact that Tanigawa still isn’t so much as glancing towards her, Sakura stands beside them as the forms are filled out. Distantly she listens, in case they need her input on something, but she allows her gaze to wander. It is quite naturally drawn against a particularly flashy display of several large katana in different colours. 

If she’d had something like that today, she might have fared a little bit better against Tenten, she muses. 

“Any upper limit for the credit?” 

“Nah. Just send a bill every month or so with the specifications.” 

Tanigawa hesitates a moment before noting it down. It takes Sakura a moment longer to understand what she’s hearing, and when she does a small gasp escapes her. 

“Sensei?”  

“I want you to be properly equipped at all times, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi says, giving her a smile before turning back to Tanigawa. “Oh, and please note that the credit is not to be used for swords.” 

Tanigawa raises an eyebrow, glances quickly at Sakura and notes that down as well. 

“Why not?” Sakura can’t help but pout. “If I had been able to use a sword today I might have done better against Tenten. And the others as well.” 

She imagines keeping Lee and Neji at bay with a sword and smiles at the image. They can be however skilled they want; if they can’t get close enough to land a blow they can’t win, can they? 

“I’ve already explained why a sword would do you no good.” 

“I still don’t get it.” 

Tanigawa turns the papers around, indicating for Kakashi to sign, and he does. Then Tanigawa takes the papers back to file them behind the counter. 

While Tanigawa is busy with the papers, Kakashi-sensei walks up to a display of sleek, sharp-looking katana and picks one out. Sakura immediately perks up. 

“Come here.” 

She’s there in a flash, positively vibrating with excitement as he straps the sword to her back with practised hands. 

“Try moving around with this.” 

A sword! Kakashi-sensei is really giving her a sword! Sakura can barely refrain from dancing with joy, imagining how she’ll be able to best Tanigawa in his own game, and-

Kakashi-sensei kicks her feet out from beneath her, sending her tumbling ungracefully to her back. She yelps as the hilt of the sword digs painfully into her already bruised backside, and the handle gives her a good smack to the back of her head. 

“That’s why I’m not giving you a sword.” 

“That’s not fair! You could have at least given me some warning!” 

“An enemy won’t be giving any warnings before he attacks you either.” 

Grumbling, Sakura stands, noting irritably that the sword is both ungainly and loud as she does so, forcing her to roll over ungracefully, only to then have it clanking loudly against the floor. 

Reluctantly, she lets Kakashi-sensei remove the sword and put it back on the display. 

She could totally learn to move with it though. Especially if she were to use a smaller sized sword. Though the bigger ones certainly look more intimidating. 

“Is this all today or do you want to continue browsing?” Tanigawa asks from the counter, where he has apparently finished ringing up the pile of weapons there. 

“We also want to look at harnesses for weights.” 

Tanigawa glances at her, without really meeting her eyes. 

Sakura’s heart plummets and she can’t help but stare in horror at Kakashi. Does he honestly mean ..?! 

Tanigawa leads them to the opposite corner of the store, where the displayed swords are overtaken by various weights. There are dumbbells and barbells of different sizes and colours, as well as several rows of smaller weights that look like little discs. 

“We have harnesses in both leather and nylon,” Tanigawa explains, gesturing towards displays that showcase both models. “Leather is more durable but also more expensive. Nylon is cheaper and more comfortable to wear close to the body.” 

Kakashi-sensei diggs around among the ones in nylon, picks one up and holds it up against Sakura. Giving it a visual estimate he puts it back in favour of one in a smaller size, which he tosses to her. 

“Try it on.” 

Heart still somewhere on the level of her knees, she fumbles with the multiple straps, struggling to make sense of it. 

“Here. Let me show you.” 

Tanigawa reaches for the harness, untangling it quickly and showing her how to put it on. Awkwardly she accepts the help. Once it is on he helps her adjust the straps until it fits snugly against her. 

He’s careful that his hands don't actually touch her and though he’s close it’s as if a wall of professionalism has arisen in between them. 

“Isn’t it a bit too tight?” 

It feels awkward against her as she stretches to get a feel for it, and she wonders how long and often she will be required to wear the thing. It seems like it ought to get in the way when she moves. 

“It’s supposed to be tight,” Tanigawa explains, pulling another strap a little bit tighter. “If it’s too loose it’ll chafe and get in the way.” 

Meanwhile, Kakashi walks over to the display of little disc-like weights and picks out a few. 

“We recommend starting out with the green ones to get used to the harness and the extra weight,” Tanigawa explains distractedly, still watching Sakura to make sure that the harness fits as it is supposed to. “Once you are used to the harness you can always add more weights.” 

Taking no heed to the words, Kakashi returns with a number of yellow weights, quietly placing them in the pockets of her harness. 

“How does it feel?” he asks once they are in place. 

Sakura rolls her shoulders a little. The harness itself still feels strange, and the extra weight is just as strange but not overwhelmingly heavy. Yet. Depending on how long she’ll have to carry it, that might change quickly. 

“Ok, I think. How long will I have to wear this?” 

“A year to start with. Do you have weights for the wrists and ankles too?” 

Her worst fears not only confirmed but outclassed, Sakura can only gape, even as Tanigawa obligingly shows her sensei the mentioned harnesses and weights. They return a few minutes later and Kakashi wordlessly straps another set of weights to both of her wrists and ankles. 

“These will get tiresome really quickly,” she mutters as she tries to move in them. “Won’t they get in the way?” 

Already her arms are protesting the added weight, and she can’t imagine her legs will be any happier once she starts walking around. And they’re ugly too. The harness she might at least be able to hide under some loose clothing. These, she’ll have to be more creative if she wants to hide. 

“You’ll get used to it.” Kakashi’s voice is annoyingly cheerful. 

“I bet I could get used to moving with a sword too.” 

Kakashi-sensei ignores her words, and instead pointedly picks up a number of additional weights before returning to the counter. Sakura suppresses a groan, but has enough self preservation to realise that continued arguing probably isn’t in her best interest.  

Kakashi-sensei pays for their things and they leave the store with three heavy bags, which of course Kakashi insists that it is her duty to carry, as the apprentice. Sakura casts a last glance back towards the counter but Tanigawa has already busied himself with something else and doesn’t notice. 

“What do you even need all this stuff for?” she asks once they are outside, struggling to find a good way to carry the tree bags. Somehow she’s always off balance. 

“Most of it’s for you, actually.” 

She gives him a surprised look. 

“But I already have a full weapon’s pouch. You even helped me fill it, remember?” 

“I do. And as far as I recall I helped you fill it to the general standards expected for the Chunin Exams. Now that you are my apprentice, the standards have changed.” 

Weaving through the masses of people on the market place, weighted down by the three bags and the new weights she struggles to keep up with him. She almost runs into an older civilian man and hastily has to apologise before sprinting to catch up with Kakashi. 

“What does that mean?” she asks, trying to catch her breath. 

“It means that I intend to equip you for your current fighting style, which we will build and improve upon.” 

“What fighting style?” 

She frowns, wondering if he’s teasing her. So far her fights have felt more like trying not to die, or in the case of the fights today against Lee and Neji, maybe more like trying not to lose too quickly. Tenten and her kanabo definitely fall into the earlier category, she thinks with a shudder. Had any of her fights been graded by her Academy teachers, she would most certainly have lost massive points for deviating from her forms so often. 

“Currently your fighting style is built upon the basics you were taught in the Academy: taijutsu, shurikenjutsu along with the body replacement technique and the clone technique. At your current chakra levels, you won’t be able to master any flashy ninjutsu to expand your abilities, so we will simply use what you’ve got while we improve upon your chakra levels.” 

“Oh.” 

She can’t help but feel like it’s somewhat of a failure on her part. Sasuke had learned the chidori from Kakashi, and even Naruto had learned the rasengan as well as the summoning jutsu from Jiraiya-sama. That Kakashi-sensei feels she needs to practise the basics clearly speaks to the gap in strength between her and the boys. 

Before she can delve too deeply into that thought, Kakashi-sensei stops in front of another business front, this one with large windows displaying a number of practical and beautiful outfits. Gina’s, the storefront sign simply says. 

“I’ll take those,” Kakashi says, taking the bags from her, “and you go in and get yourself a set of decent clothes. Nothing too flashy, mind. I’ll wait here.” 

“Alone?” 

“Yup. Tell the owner to charge it to me.” 

Curious and confused about her sensei’s strange behaviour, Sakura hesitantly enters the store, a bell ringing above her head as she enters. The store itself feels entirely different from the armoury; it’s smaller, less utilitarian and more cosy. There are a number of racks with assorted clothing, with mannequins throughout the room displaying various outfits. 

“Oh, how nice to see you again, missy! What can I do for you?” 

A vaguely familiar woman in her twenties approaches her, smiling invitingly. It takes Sakura a moment to recognize the short, silvery hair and the purple streaks in it. It’s one of the nurses at the hospital - except today, she’s not dressed in a nurse’s uniform. Instead she’s sporting a short, purple dress with a high neckline and matching, tall boots - probably what Kakashi-sensei would call too flashy . 

“I, uh … I need clothes?” Sakura manages to stammer, momentarily confused. 

Instead of laughing at her, the woman - Gina, Sakura remembers her introducing herself as. 29, chunin, specialising in medical ninjutsu - continues to smile at her. 

“You’ve come to the right place then. Were you looking for anything in particular?” 

Sakura nods, trying not to stare but afraid that she’s failing miserably. A shinobi, a nurse and then that very loud outfit? 

“Just … new clothes, I think. Sensei said to charge it to him.” 

The woman raises a questioning eyebrow. 

“And where’s your sensei?” 

Awkwardly, Sakura gestures back towards the door. Kakashi-sensei has taken to leaning against one of the shop windows, already lost in one of his books. 

To Sakura’s surprise, the woman’s eyes grow large. “Oh, fuck me, I thought you were kidding about that ´Kakashi-sensei´-stuff.” 

With an apologetic smile, Gina moves past Sakura and opens the door to speak to her sensei. 

“Are you hiding from me, cousin?” Her voice is a lot less welcoming than just a moment before. 

“Not at all. I just trust you ladies to be able to manage clothes shopping on your own. Preferably sometime this month.” 

The woman scoffs and looks like she wants to hit him. Sakura almost wants her to. After the day she has had, seeing her sensei taken down a peg or two might actually make it worth it. 

“Are you fine paying then?” she asks after a moment instead of hitting him, a wolfish grin on her face. “No family discount for cousins who haven’t spoken to me in over a decade, you know?” 

“I’ll pay, don’t worry.” 

From her spot, Sakura sees her sensei wave vaguely in the air, not even turning around to face the store or the woman talking to him. How rude, she thinks. 

“Suit yourself then, Kashi-kun .” 

With that the woman closes the door again and turns back to Sakura, smiling even wider than before. Sakura can’t help but stare at the woman using such a childish nickname with her sensei. 

“In case you hadn’t guessed, my name’s Hatake Gina,” she explains. “Your sensei is my baby cousin, and since he’s apparently moping over the past, let’s not mind him, shall we?” 

With gentle hands she steers Sakura further into the shop, towards a couch in the back. They sit down on the couch, even though Sakura feels entirely out of place in such a fancy store. 

“Now, tell me everything. When did you become his student? Apprentice?” 

Awkwardly, because she isn’t sure if she should answer if her own sensei isn’t even on talking terms with the woman before her, Sakura answers the question. It is then followed by further questions, and because sensei hasn’t told her not to speak to her, Sakura decides to continue answering the questions. So she tells Gina about first being on team 7 and being given Kakashi as their sensei, and then briefly explains that both of her teammates have left the village for the next few years to train with other people. 

“I’m frankly amazed that my cousin is taking on an apprentice at all,” Gina admits. “You must be very special.” 

Blushing, Sakura lowers her gaze. “I think it was more a matter of me being the last one left.”

“Perhaps, but Kakashi wouldn’t be trying so hard if he wasn’t seeing something in you. That harness you’re wearing, it’s brand new, isn’t it?” 

“Yes.” 

“And from the state of your clothing I assume you’ve been training all morning. Trust me, if Kakashi didn’t want you, he’d be happy to delegate all this onto someone else. And he most certainly wouldn’t have come to me, even if I am the best at what I do.” 

Sakura isn’t entirely sure that she believes Gina’s words. Kakashi might be giving her plenty of attention right now, but she still isn’t convinced that he won’t tire of her and send her back to the genin corps. 

Either way, she intends to take full advantage of any teachings of his while she can. 

“What is it that you do, exactly?” 

“I make the best kunoichi clothing in Konoha of course! You haven’t heard of me before? Most clans know about me.” 

Sakura shakes her head. “Civilian born,” she says by way of explanation. 

“Well, that explains it then, I suppose. I guess you’ve been shopping from the Haruno clan or some such nonsense then?” 

Her breath catching in her throat at the mention of her family, Sakura can only nod, hoping that she does not come across as rude. Gina just nods, standing to fetch a measuring tape. 

“Well, let’s take your measurements then and I’ll get you properly fitted for something more durable.” 

Obligingly, Sakura stands. While she works, Gina continues to talk, helping Sakura to relax a bit more. 

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. The Harunos make some extraordinarily beautiful kimono but their clothes are not very practical. Some of the other general shops and some of the tailors offer better quality but quite frankly there is no one who beats me. And I make it look cute too!” 

Measurements taken, Gina steps back to eye Sakura critically. 

“Yellow, I think,” she says ponderingly. “That will make a nice contrast against your hair. Or maybe purple.” 

“Kakashi-sensei said nothing too flashy,” Sakura offers belatedly.

Gina hums and throws a glare over her shoulder, as if she’s personally offended by Kakashi limiting the colour palette of her creativity. 

“Maybe green then. Or blues, but that might come a bit too close to the normal genin corps’ and chunin uniforms.” 

“I like green,” Sakura says. 

“Green it is then. Perhaps with some details in brown, to tone down the loudness of your hair. Or pink, to run with it.” 

Decision made, she heads over to several clothing racks, rummaging around and appearing with several pieces of clothing. 

With Gina’s help Sakura tries on a number of different options, debating the pros and cons of each option Gina. A number of dresses, skirts, trousers and blouses are discarded for various reasons - fabric that gets in the way when she moves, shades that don't suit her, fabrics that irritate her skin, cut doesn’t fit her and so on and so forth - before they find something that is both practical and cute on her. 

“I’ll have it fitted within a day or so, so you can just return and pick it up whenever it’s convenient.” 

“Thank you,” Sakura says, meaning it. Clothes have been a real struggle ever since she graduated from the Academy. 

Just from having tried the clothes on she can tell that the quality is far superior to anything she has ever owned before. 

A thought crosses her mind, and with a hesitant glance towards the door and Kakashi-sensei she gathers her courage to speak. 

“May I ask something?” 

“Sure. Shoot.” 

Gina turns fully towards her and Sakura finds herself blushing again. 

“I was just wondering if you had any ideas what to do with these?” she asks, gesturing towards the wrist weights she’s wearing. 

Gina grimaces apologetically. 

“Not much I can do about that, I’m afraid. Wrist- and ankle warmers are probably your best option. Do you want me to fit you with some?” 

Glancing again towards Kakashi-sensei, Sakura gives a decisive nod. If he’s making her wear the weights, he can pay for making it look a little less ugly too. 

“Yes please. Do you have any in pink?”

Chapter Text

They return to the apartment late in the afternoon, Sakura weighted down by the weights in her harnesses as well as the bags from Tanigawa Armoury. Between that and the excessive amounts of training she’s done today, her legs are literally trembling with effort by the time she’s able to sink down into Kakashi-sensei’s couch. 

That’s it, she thinks. She’s not moving an inch more today. 

Unfortunately, Kakashi-sensei has other plans. 

“Empty your weapon’s pouch and kunai holster.” 

Fumbling a little she does as told, kunai and shuriken clattering against the table surface as she simply pours everything out without a thought to orderliness or damage to the table. With practised ease, Kakashi-sensei digs through her things, idly sorting them into piles as he inspects the quality. Sakura thinks that she has a pretty decent showing - she hasn't actually lost many of her weapons since he helped her restock it, and she’s been careful to keep everything in decent condition. 

“Not too bad,” he says at last. “But you need to keep the blades sharper, and of course you need more of everything.” 

Reaching for the bags with stuff they’ve bought, he digs through them, picking up several packages and depositing them on the table in the correct piles. By the time he is done almost everything has doubled in numbers - except the kunai, which have tripled. 

“Sort everything through and start sharpening,” he instructs her, standing. “I’ll get dinner started.” 

“I don’t think all of this will even fit into my weapon’s pouch,” she grouches even as she reaches for her whetstone. 

“We’ll make it fit, or we’ll get you a bigger one.” 

It is slow and tedious work, especially with the ridiculous amount of blades she is to sharpen. Worse still is the fact that Kakashi-sensei keeps an eye on her despite his cooking, forcing her to start over whenever he’s not happy enough with a blade. 

At least it’s not more laps or anything equally preposterous. 

By the time dinner is ready she still has over half of the kunai left and all of her shuriken. Kakashi simply puts their bowls down between the piles and they eat in mostly silence. 

All in all it is well over two hours before all of her weapons have been sharpened to Kakashi-sensei’s approval, and another half hour before her weapon’s pouch and kunai holster have been restocked in an orderly fashion. 

After that, Sakura is just about ready to pass out on her sensei’s couch again, but the evil bastard follows her back to the Genin Corps Dormitories, with orders of showering and properly tending to her injuries before bed. 

They’ve got another busy day tomorrow. 

Altogether far too soon, in Sakura’s opinion, she’s being prodded awake again. Her whole body protests consciousness. Every muscle in her body, including some she hadn’t previously been aware that she even had, is stiff and sore. Not to mention that she is probably sporting some considerable bruises, after yesterday’s sparring exercises. 

“Time to wake up, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi-sensei says, penetrating the haze of ache and sleepiness. “We’re going running again. Before breakfast, this time.” 

“No!” She buries her head in her pillow, refusing to acknowledge his horrible words. 

“If you’re not up in three minutes, I’ll pour cold water over you.” 

Sakura weighs the possibility of being drowned in cold water against staying in bed, not entirely convinced that moving is worth it. 

“Two minutes remaining!”

Regardless, she’s entirely convinced that he isn’t bluffing. And if dousing her in cold water won’t do the trick, he’ll find something even worse to force her out of bed. 

Like … 

Like pouring lava on her instead, or … or setting the bed on fire … or … 

So Sakura groans and forces herself to get up. 

“And don’t forget your weights!” 

He waits outside her window as she gets dressed, and then they’re heading towards the village wall again. 

Surprisingly, the second day of training with Kakashi-sensei is even worse than the first. Despite some stretches before they go running properly, her body continues to protest the exercise, and between the pain and lingering exhaustion, her mistakes are even more numerous than the day before. Kakashi, on the other hand, shows no remorse as he continues to throw those evil pebbles at her whenever she slows down too much or loses control of her chakra. 

She actually falls off the wall that morning - twice! - as she collapses from exhaustion. Kakashi-sensei shows no greater concern for her than to grab a hold of the back of her shirt to keep her from falling before urging her to get back to running. 

By the time they return to his apartment for breakfast she’s too exhausted to properly appreciate the food, though she forces herself to eat anyway. 

Breakfast is followed by hours of sparring, this time against Kakashi-sensei himself. And if Sakura was outmatched by Neji the day before, it is even more obvious that she is outmatched against Kakashi-sensei. Every block he makes, every opening she herself fails to guard and block, is a painful lesson in her own inadequacy. 

Then he starts quizzing her with random questions on her knowledge of advanced chakra theory, how to calculate projectile movement patterns, foreign cultures and other equally absurd subjects.

Without pausing in the sparring. 

Sakura scrambles mentally for answers even as she struggles to keep her guard up against Kakashi’s continued assault. 

She can do this, she tells herself. 

She can do this. 

She can def-

Kakashi-sensei grabs onto her hair from behind, using it to swing her into a tree. 

-definitely do this. 

She gasps for air for a moment, fingers digging into the rough bark of the tree, before she turns around and attacks again. 

Kakashi-sensei is finally giving her his attention. Just like she’d wanted. 

He’s challenging her. Helping her grow into a stronger and better shinobi.

Sasuke learned the chidori from training with Kakashi-sensei. 

Even Naruto was able to learn both the Rasengan and the summoning jutsu, after individual training with Jiraiya. 

If they could manage, she can manage. 

She won’t be weaker than them. 

So she can definitely-

“I can’t do this,” she groans as she’s once more painfully knocked down. “I just … I can’t.” 

“Yes you can.” 

“I can’t. I … I’m not Naruto, or-or Sasuke. I can’t !” 

The boys would probably excel under this kind of training. Probably even turn it into some stupid contest between themselves, spurring each other on enough to leave her behind in the dust. 

Except, of course, they aren’t here. They’ve already left her behind. That thought alone is enough to almost push her over the edge to flat out crying. 

“Come on, Sakura-chan. Get up again.” 

She’s not the boys. She’s not strong like them, or durable enough, or stubborn enough, or … or … 

“I’m a girl, ” she protests lamely, rolling over to crawl into a ball of misery. “I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough.” 

“So you’re giving up?” 

Kakashi’s voice is enough to make her flinch and she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to block him out. 

“I’m not giving up. I just … I can’t do this. I need to pace myself.” 

Vaguely she remembers one of her kunoichi-teachers saying something similar. It is important to know yourself or you’ll wind up hurting yourself striving for excellence. She clings to the memory now, allowing it to strengthen her resolve. 

“Do you want to know the main difference between you and Naruto or Sasuke?” Kakashi asks, crouching down beside her. 

“I’m weak !” 

The admission hurts and she curls further in on herself, wishing that she could just crawl under a stone somewhere and never again appear. 

“It is that you lack discipline.” Kakashi-sensei’s voice is nothing like soft, though the earlier edge is gone. It doesn’t make his words any more difficult to hear. “Sasuke has both discipline and skill in spades; what he sets out to do he will achieve. What Naruto lacks in skill he will make up for in determination, which means that whenever he sets out to do something he usually succeeds.” 

Kakashi-sensei makes a dramatic pause, pushing her tangled hair out of her face so that he can meet her eyes. 

“You, on the other hand … You are a genjutsu type. Like me. Which means that you’re too smart for your own good. You’re not used to resistance the way they are. You’ll take one look at a problem and have it solved, with as little effort as possible on your part, before moving on to admire Sasuke’s flawless backside.” 

The last words are delivered with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Sakura blushes, partly because of the comment about Sasuke’s behind but mostly because there is truth in the words. All of her academy career, summarised in a few unflattering sentences. 

“Which is not to say that you haven’t struggled with other things, or haven’t matured in your own way. Unlike the boys, I expect I can give you a list of books to read and a diagram or two, and you’ll learn pretty much anything.” 

The praise, at least, takes some of the earlier sting away and Sakura finds herself relaxing a little again. 

Yes, Sakura likes books. Books and diagrams and scrolls, that make sense of the world without her having to exert any physical energy. 

“However, building muscle memory and strength will save your life in combat situations. And while most Academy graduates have developed enough discipline to build upon their pre-existing strengths, you have mostly learned to deflect your weaknesses.” 

Sakura sighs. Maybe Kakashi-sensei is right. 

She did think, just yesterday, about how much nicer Iruka-sensei was as a teacher - never really pushing her the way Kakashi-sensei is. But then, she hasn’t really been pushing herself either. Not until pretty recently, that is, and never as hard as this.

“I realise that sparring and drills are a poor fit for your learning, but it is unavoidable if you want to end up as anything other than a paper ninja. So I will use whatever means I deem necessary in order to trick your busy little mind into distraction, but you need to supply the discipline. Do you understand?”

Awful as it is - bruises, scratches, aches, weights and all - she does. For the life of her she still can’t see how she can possibly endure all of these expectations that Kakashi-sensei is placing on her, but he does. And worse still, he is willing to help her through it, even if his help doesn’t feel like help at the moment. She just needs to continue trying her best and trust in him to be right. 

It’s not “just” , she thinks sourly. 

It is, however, the basic premise of the shinobi. Shinobi are those that endure , she remembers Iruka-sensei saying. Apparently a quote from the first Hokage. She has just never anticipated that “endure” would be so closely connected with her own experience. Foolish of her, she thinks now. For someone who had memorised every one of the shinobi rules verbatim she really ought to have realised sooner just how many of them spoke of endurance, of obedience and of discipline. 

Better late than never, she thinks as she forces herself to unfurl, slowly crawling to her knees and then up to standing again. Kakashi-sensei stands with her, and though she can’t quite meet his eye - she’s still ashamed of her weakness and from the verbal beating she has just taken - she takes her stance. 

“Good girl.” 

They continue to spar. 

November turns into December. 

Kakashi-sensei gets assigned another mission and leaves, handing her training over to Gai-sensei.

There isn’t enough time to get everything figured out. There’s still some sort of problem with the apprenticeship-paperwork that has to be sorted out, so she still cannot take missions - which is ironic, considering that the village is basically screaming for manpower and Sakura is just about ready to scream if she gets nothing useful to do soon. 

At least Kakashi-sensei has set her up with a stipend now. Even if she were to be pushed out of the Genin Corps Dormitories - which seems unlikely, but still - she won’t be homeless or go hungry. 

Gai-sensei is called away on a mission too, and so he hands her over to Asuma-sensei and team 10. Sakura doesn’t mind, because she likes Asuma-sensei, not to mention Ino, Shikamaru and Choji. 

Winter in Konoha is mild - it is rare to see snow, and the temperature rarely sinks below freezing - but there is plenty of rain and grey days. Sakura is grateful for her new uniform; a simple green dress that is short enough that the skirt does not get in the way, with brown tights, as well as both wrist- and ankle- warmers that help keep her warm and match her hair. Ino teases her, saying that she looks like a tree, but Sakura likes it. It’s the most comfortable and practical clothing she’s ever had. 

Asuma-sensei is called away in a hurry and doesn’t have time to leave her to anyone in particular. He leaves a very apologetic note, telling her to just keep working on her exercises and that he’ll be in contact whenever he gets back to Konoha.  

Sakura doesn’t complain and tries not to worry. The village is in a disarray. Her wish for a consistent sensei is the least of their current problems. 

With little else to do, training makes out the majority of her days. 

Training, training and more training. 

She runs. 

She meditates. 

She practises her kata. Sparrs, if she can find someone to do so with. Hajime, Tomomi, Aimi and Takeshi are the most reliable and able to spend almost every evening with her. Team Gai makes nice sparring partners as well, whenever they run into each other during their morning runs, but seeing as they are more experienced genin they too are often busy. Team 10 have similar issues, what with Shikamaru now being a chunin and all, but Sakura still likes to join them whenever she can. 

When she’s not training, she’s reading; anything and everything she can get her hands on. Geography, strategy, philosophy, cultures, chakra theory, history. The Genin Corps has a surprisingly large library, and then there’s the common shinobi library as well, so there’s plenty of books and scrolls for her to dig into. 

The fact that she keeps herself so busy comes with one advantage; she doesn’t have the time or the energy to bother with the looks and whispers levelled at her by other genin, or even chunin sometimes. Hajime, Tomomi, Aimi and Takeshi do their best to protect her from it, but Sakura is neither blind nor deaf. 

“Foreigner”, people whisper behind her back. “She’s got no loyalty to Konoha.” 

“She’s the comrade of that traitor, Uchiha Sasuke.”

“She used to be all over that guy. Do they really expect us to believe she’s not an accomplice?” 

“And she’s friendly with that boy too. The fox.” 

(“Hush! We’re not supposed to talk about that!”) 

Sakura would mind, but she’s too exhausted to bother. So she keeps her head down and focuses on herself; on putting one foot in front of the other, on eating, on keeping strictly to her routine, and luckily people leave her mostly alone. Now that Tomomi and Aimi are back, the attempts at physically humiliating her have drastically decreased. 

Her sleep is heavy and dreamless, and her body constantly bruised and aching. Sakura is too exhausted to even contemplate arguing with Kakashi-sensei or her temporary teachers, so she just does the exercises she’s assigned without too much complaint. She doesn’t think of it so much as discipline as a necessary consequence of her own cowardice. If she stops now, she won’t be brave enough to start again, she thinks to herself more than once. 

The routine is interrupted one afternoon when Lee decides to challenge her to an official challenge, since they are apparently Eternal Rivals now. 

“No,” she says, shooting him down immediately. 

She has seen enough of Lee to know that he rivals Naruto in energy levels and she has heard enough from Gai-sensei to know the kind of ridiculous challenges he and Kakashi-sensei engage in. And she really doesn’t have the energy to spare at the moment. 

“But we are Eternal Rivals!” Lee objects, coming uncomfortably close to passionately look into her eyes. “Destined to spend our Springtime of Youth challenging each other, like our esteemed sensei have before us! It is important that we continue this youthful tradition of measuring each other’s bravery and prowess!” 

Uncomfortable with the proximity, Sakura takes a step back. Right into Tenten. 

“You might as well accept,” the other girl advises. “Once Lee sets his mind to something, there’s no convincing him otherwise.” 

“True,” Neji agrees. 

Sakura looks between them and Lee, who’s still looking tearfully at her, with a sinking sensation in her stomach. 

“I said no.”  

Lee stands frozen in place for a moment before he deflates, almost looking like he will melt into a puddle on the ground. 

“I see,” he says quietly. “Someone like me is just not worthy of-” 

“No, it’s not like that! It’s just …” 

Lee straightens immediately. 

“So you will consider my challenge at a later date then?” 

“No!” she repeats, more firmly again now. “Please don’t take it personally, I just …” 

“I see, Sakura-chan! Such a talented and beautiful flower such as yourself cannot lower herself to the likes of me. But don’t worry, Sakura-chan, I will endeavour to one day be worthy of your time! And in that respect, I will now make myself run 20 laps around the village!” 

With those passionate words Lee is off, leaving a cloud of dust behind him on the street. Sakura exchanges a look with Tenten and Neji. 

“He’s not giving up, is he?” 

“No,” they chorus. 

Indeed, the next day Lee approaches her again, challenging her to a mad dash around the village. 

“No,” she shoots him down again. 

“I see. Then today I will make myself run 30 laps around the village in order to improve myself to your standards!” 

Before she can stop him he’s off again. 

On the third day when he approaches her, Sakura shakes her head as soon as she sees him. 

“Can’t,” she tells him, pointing to her newly twisted ankle. “No running anywhere today, Medic’s orders.” 

Lee frowns worriedly for a moment before his face lights up into an enthusiastic smile. 

“Then of course the challenge shall be adjusted to fit our limitations. I suggest we run on our hands in order to spare our feet!” 

“No.” 

She’s finally starting to get somewhat used to the weights but she is nowhere near ready to take all of that weight on her hands. Come to think of it, she might actually need to practise that before Kakashi-sensei returns and decide to force her to do it anyway. She makes a mental note of it. 

“Then another type of challenge?” Lee suggests. “An epic battle on the kunai practice range? A food eating competition? Weight lifting?” 

“How about Rock Paper Scissors?” she suggests tiredly instead. 

It seems to her the quickest and easiest way to get it over with. 

“I see!” Lee says excitedly. “On the surface a child’s play, but beneath the surface requiring great observational skills as well as logical reasoning. Challenge accepted!” 

Sakura sighs, feeling that she has probably made a mistake in offering a challenge to begin with. Then again, Lee never seemed likely to give up to begin with. 

“Alright. First to three?” 

He accepts, and they face off, right there, in the middle of the road. An annoyed civilian glares at them as he’s forced to walk around them, and Sakura offers an apologetic shrug. 

Sakura’s rock beats Lee’s scissor in the first round. 

Lee’s paper beats her rock in the second round. 

“An exciting endeavour indeed, Sakura-chan!” Lee declares as they prepare for the third round. He’s vibrating again, practically sweating bullets in excitement. 

Sakura’s rock beats Lee’s scissor again in the third round. 

“Well fought, Sakura-chan! As skilled as you are beautiful, indeed!” 

At least after that he leaves her alone for a day or two, before their paths cross again and he offers another challenge. 

“First to climb the Hokage Monument?!” he offers. 

“How about the quiet game?” she suggests instead. 

Lee looks disappointed for a moment before he offers her a wide smile. 

“A wise choice indeed, Sakura-chan! The ultimate test of a shinobi’s skill …” 

“Uh, uh,” she says, shaking her head. “Quiet, remember?” 

And he is blessedly quiet. 

Except, to her annoyance, he then proceeds to follow her around the village as she runs her errands, generally being in the way and trying to use some sort of sign language she does not understand with her. 

It gets annoying really quickly. 

“Here you go,” Sakura says clearly as she hands the cashier the money for her groceries. 

It’s not as if she cares about winning anyway. 

“One victory each, what an exciting start to our rivalry!” Lee declares as they leave the grocery store. 

“Yeah yeah,” she sighs in resignation. “See you in a couple of days?” 

She absolutely refuses to admit that there’s a smile tugging at her lips. 

“Before you leave there is something else we need to discuss.” 

Kakashi stops, already halfway turned away from the Hokage, and gives her a politely attentive look. Looks like it’s becoming a routine for him to stay after reporting home for a mission, and talk about something entirely unrelated. 

“This,” she clarifies, placing a small pile of papers on her desk. 

Approaching the desk, Kakashi soon recognizes his own handwriting and the application he filled out when he first took Sakura in. It is distinctly void of an approval stamp. 

“What is the problem?” 

“It lacks a very important signature.” 

She gives him a very pointed look. Kakashi just frowns back at her, genuinely confused. 

“Both Sakura and I have signed it.” 

In fact, she’s the one who demanded a formal contract to begin with - something about it being unsuitable otherwise. Something about her being underage and unmarried and a girl student , he suspects. And Kakashi might find it strange that someone would attach those specific adjectives to her, but he’s wholly supportive if a contract is going to make Sakura more comfortable. 

So, back to the contract, which he has not only filled out and signed, but also turned in on time! Like, at least a month and a half ago. 

As far as he’s concerned, this issue is entirely Lady Tsunade’s fault. 

Or possibly bureaucracy’s. 

Same thing. 

“Clan law insists that the Head of Clan approve any and all apprentices and apprenticeships undertaken by a member of the clan.” 

Kakashi’s stomach drops a little. 

“Sakura has rejected her clan,” he points out. “And I am theoretically my own clan head.” 

“Oh? Do you plan to attend the Clan Council meetings then? Make peace with the other members of your clan?” 

Ah. 

No. 

No way. 

Kakashi stares blankly in front of him. 

Lady Tsunade sighs, and the sound is exhausted enough to reveal something about how much older than him she really is. How does she do that? Make him feel like a boy again, just by a sigh ? 

“I know that you blame them for your father’s death.” Her voice is surprisingly soft. “Isn’t it time to start to let old wounds heal?” 

“I blame her ,” Kakashi clarifies. “Not that the others did anything to help.” 

And no , he’s not going to go crawling back to that woman. 

Lady Tsunade sighs again. 

“Regardless, clan law is clear; no signature from the acting clan head, no official apprenticeship.” 

She hands him the application back and he stiffly accepts it, dismissing himself.

Perfekt. 

Just, perfekt. 

Not. 

“Sakura-chan, my Eternal Rival! I challenge you to a great challenge of our youth; first to complete a full lap around the village on our hands!” 

“No!” Sakura exclaims, horrified. “How about hide and seek?” 

Lee looks like he is about to accept the change of challenge before a hand clasp down on her shoulder, making her jump in surprise. 

“Ma, Sakura-chan, don’t you know it’s bad form to reject an offered challenge and then offer your own?” Kakashi-sensei’s voice is mock-disappointed. 

When did he even get back to Konoha?! 

Before Sakura can express her surprise at seeing him, or tell him how happy she is that he’s back or ask how his mission went or anything, Gai-sensei appears next to Lee and decides to chime in as well; 

“Indeed, indeed! In fact, proper protocol declares that if one party offers such a clearly set challenge as this, the other party might choose the time and place for it to occur.” 

“Exactly!” Kakashi-sensei smiles, far too innocently. “So for this challenge, when Lee has declared that the challenge is to run around the village on your hands, you might choose that you do so along the inside of the village wall at dusk.” 

“An excellent choice, my dear rival! And as it is our respective protégés competing, it seems only fitting that we compete as well, to show them how it is done!” 

And so it is that Sakura is manipulated into accepting Lee’s ridiculous challenge. 

She loses, of course. 

Badly. 

Which apparently puts their Eternal Rivalry Score at 2-1 in Lee’s favour. 

And of course Kakashi-sensei punishes her for it by setting a number of new exercises for her, intended on strengthening her arms. And adding further weights to her harnesses. 

Thankfully, he does not order her to continue trying to run the village wall on her hands, though that might have to do with her inability to complete even one full lap, rather than his lack of intention to do so. 

“Kakashi! I wasn’t expecting you! Come in, come in!” 

Kakashi feels more than a little awkward as he enters the office of the Commander of the Genin Corps. 

Kichiro’s surprise at seeing him is justified. In the last decade Kakashi hasn’t voluntarily sought the man out more than a handful of times. 

He’s not sure whether this technically qualifies as such, given that his purpose isn’t exactly voluntary . 

“Tell me, how are things going with Sakura?” 

Coming to stand before the desk, Kakashi is strangely reminded of being summoned to the office of the third Hokage, learning that he had been assigned to the students that would eventually become team 7. 

Another room, another authority figure, he tells himself. 

Though Kichiro isn’t strictly speaking so much an authority figure as he’s … well, the only member of his clan that he is on an even remotely good standing with. And of course Kichiro’s not so much a member of the clan as an uncle-by-marriage, but still … 

“It’s acceptable.”

Kichiro gives him a calmly expectant look that must work wonders with genin. 

“She’s improving,” Kakashi elaborates. 

Slowly Kichiro raises his eyebrows, wordlessly demanding more. 

What’s there to say? Things with Sakura are … frustrating. Not necessarily because of her, but because there always seem to be so many other things interrupting their apprenticeship. Like a mission, most commonly, or like right now, stupid, bureaucratic rules. 

“Have you seen her yet?” Kichiro asks at last, referencing the conversation they had just before Kakashi asked Sakura to become his apprentice. 

And to that, at least, there’s only one answer Kakashi can give. 

“Yeah. I think so.” 

He’s seen her, alright. All of that potential, and in particular that chakra-control of hers, partnered with a mind that’s just begging to be challenged. 

Kichiro smiles, almost proudly. 

“Don’t tell me she’s driven you insane already and you’re here to return her?” 

Kakashi shakes his head and places the application forms on the desk before Kichiro. He picks them up, scanning them quickly before realising what they are. 

“You haven’t turned these in yet?” There’s a distinct note of disapproval in the question. 

“They need her signature.” 

He doesn’t clarify who she is, but from the look Kichiro gives him it is clear that he understands anyway. 

Kichiro sighs. “You’ll be better off asking her yourself.” 

Kakashi swore a long time ago that he would never speak to that woman again. 

“You do realise that if you don’t ask her yourself she’s going to refuse, and eventually you’ll have to come ask her yourself anyway and she will make some sort of ridiculous demand just to penalise you?” 

That would be exactly like her. 

But Kakashi is just as stubborn as his aunt, and he won’t budge on this. 

Kichiro’s shoulders slump. 

“She worries about you, Kakashi. She’d appreciate the visit. And if you ask her yourself, there’s no reason for her to refuse.” 

Part of Kakashi is almost tempted to believe Kichiro. If it really were just that - if all he had to do was go there and ask her to sign - then he’d do it in a heartbeat. For Sakura. But the thing is, doing so would mean letting go of grudges that Kakashi has held for the better part of two decades. And he’s still one-hundred percent certain that she’d still refuse to sign, just to spite him. 

So no, Kakashi won’t ask. 

And maybe - maybe - Kichiro will be able to convince her. He’s probably the only one to see anything soft about that woman - possibly except Gina. 

“You two are so much alike, sometimes.” Kichiro shakes his head ruefully. “But I’ll ask her for you.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I, Sakura, challenge you, Rock Lee, to a challenge of Hide and Seek!” 

She’s not sure who’s the most surprised; Gai, Kakashi-sensei or Lee. 

Sakura has done the maths, learned from her earlier mistake of giving Kakashi-sensei the chance of meddling with this ridiculous rivalry-thing and decided that it is better to set her own terms for a challenge. 

Thus; Hide and Seek rather than running around the stupid village on her hands. 

Lee recovers first, giving her a teary-eyed look of excitement. “I happily accept your challenge, Sakura-san! It will be an honour to face you in such a worthwhile challenge of shinobi skill!” 

“Excellent challenge!” Gai-sensei agrees, giving her the thumbs up. “Kakashi and I will happily serve as judges in this exciting event!” 

Kakashi-sensei doesn’t look entirely happy to be volunteered for the task but doesn’t object either. 

“Who’ll start counting?” 

“Ladies first?” 

“Agreed!” 

And so it is that Sakura finds herself facing a nearby tree counting to fifty, while Lee hides and Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei make sure that she’s not peeking. 

Sakura smiles against the bark of the tree, feeling victorious already. Between having outsmarted Kakashi-sensei and tricked Lee to hide from her she has one peaceful afternoon to look forward to. 

No one says that she has to actually search for him, after all, and she doesn’t mind giving him another victory. 

“Fifty!” she finishes counting. “Ready or not, here I come!” 

Turning around she eyes the park they’re in, clearly void of a hiding Lee. Slowly, frowning as if she’s focusing intently, she starts to search for him in the bushes. 

“Sakura-chan?” 

Instinctively tensing at Kakashi’s innocent tone, Sakura looks over at him. 

“If I don’t think you find him within an acceptable time frame, I will be pouring that cherry scented soap of yours down the drain.” 

“But that ..!” she objects, cutting herself off. 

That soap is expensive! And it smells like her mother, and it’s the only good thing she has to look forward to after a long day of training, save for being able to go to bed!

“Chop, chop,” Kakashi-sensei says, clapping his hands. 

New motivation burning underfoot, she hurries off, desperately searching for Lee. 

“How did it go?” Kakashi asks that afternoon, climbing through the window of Kichiro’s office after having left Gai in charge of Genin Hide and Seek. 

“How do you think it went?” 

Kichiro plops the contract on the desk, on the corner closest to Kakashi, without looking up from his paperwork. 

“No signature then, I take it?” 

“Like I told you.” 

“Any chance you can convince her?” 

At last, Kichiro looks up. “She nearly bit my head off, just for asking.” 

Disappointed, Kakashi reaches for the papers. 

Well, who needs official documents anyway? 

They’re more of a formality, really. 

He can just keep training Sakura anyway, and if she doesn’t know there’s no official apprenticeship it won’t hurt her. 

Though she will have to start taking missions eventually. And the lack of missions will be a dead give-away to her that there’s not actually a contract yet. 

Which means that he’s back to square one. 

“And Kakashi?” 

The serious tone in Kichiro’s voice makes him look up again, suddenly worried. 

“She said that you better approach her yourself to ask for that signature, or she will make damn sure that “that girl” is torn to shreds before the year is over.” 

Kakashi swallows, suddenly nervous. 

It’s already december. Less than four weeks left of the year. 

“Does she mean socially, or ..?” 

“Socially, professionally, figuratively and literally. You know her.” 

That’s not good. That’s … Fuck. 

Sakura literally stumbles into Lee where he’s hiding in an alley under a cloak of invisibility, using the shadows of the alley to hide the fact that his cloak does not quite match the pattern of the wall he’s hiding against. As a result, they both fall to the ground, clumsily somehow managing to tangle their legs and arms with each other. 

“Two hours and sixteen minutes!” Gai-sensei declares, producing a stopwatch. “Excellent time, Sakura-chan, I will be sure to report it to Kakashi.” 

“Yes, excellent time indeed, Sakura-san!” Lee agrees, helping her up again. “I will be honoured if I manage such a good time against you, for sure!” 

Dusting herself off, Sakura tries not to blush, hoping that Kakashi-sensei will indeed find her time acceptable. 

Personally, she’s disappointed in herself. Somehow it seems wrong that it took her so much time to find Lee. 

Then again, he is a much better shinobi than the body suit lets on, she thinks to herself. 

“Alright, Sakura-san! If it is acceptable to you, I will stay here with Gai-sensei and count to fifty whilst you hide! Or, if it is not acceptable to you, we will find Kakashi-sensei and he too can stay and make sure that I don’t-”

“I trust you not to peek, Lee.” 

When Lee turns around to count she sighs before heading off to find a hiding place of her own. 

If she knows Kakashi-sensei right, he’ll probably pour her soap anyway if he doesn’t think that she manages to stay hidden for long enough. 

Maybe there’s somewhere for her to hide where there’s food? She hasn’t had lunch yet. 

In the old days - when the Hatake Clan was still large and revered - the gates to the Hatake Compound would have been guarded by Hatake shinobi. Just like the Main Gate is always guarded by Konoha shinobi, and the Hyuuga compound is always guarded by Hyuga shinobi. 

These days there aren’t enough people with the Hatake-name around to staff a full time guard, and so the only thing keeping Kakashi out is old memories. 

That, and the fact that he hasn’t been through these gates in over two decades, which means that they are much more mentally imposing than their physically humble looks would suggest. 

Kakashi has his reasons for having avoided this place for so long. 

Good reasons. 

His hands clench around the apprentice application. 

He’s doing this for Sakura. 

To save her. 

Because by making her his apprentice, he has also placed her in the line of fire of a conflict she has nothing to do with. 

Which Kakashi should have realised from the very beginning, and taken appropriate steps to protect her. 

Because that is exactly the kind of thing that she would do. Always meddling, always getting involved in things that don't concern her. Except for the one time when it really mattered. 

As it is, it’s his fault that Sakura’s reputation and future career is in danger - and Kakashi isn’t convinced that his aunt is above actually killing a Konoha Genin, so even that is probably a best-case scenario - and it is his job to fix it. 

So Kakashi forcefully pushes the memories aside - his father’s lifeless body, the blood, the faces, the scorn - and pushes the gate open to enter Hell. 

It both has and hasn’t changed since he was little. 

The trees are bigger. 

The long, winding road with shadows that seem to reach for him is the same. 

The old-fashioned houses are the same, hidden away and barely visible between the trees. 

The facades are a little more aged than he remembers. 

He can feel the eyes of non-humans watching him. Following him. Stalking. 

That, too, is the same. 

The main house is old but neat, with familiar sliding paper walls that let the sunlight through. The engawa wraps around the whole house, separating the outdoors from the indoors. 

Kakashi remembers spending long evenings there, enjoying the sun-warm wood and talking to his father about everything and nothing. Back before everything turned Bad. 

Kakashi doesn’t bother knocking, knowing that she has known about his presence since he stepped through the gates to the compound. Maybe since before then. 

He should have been prepared for the attack. 

As soon as he enters, a cold hand grabs him by the scruff and sends him flying back the way he came. 

"Whelp! You dare step into this house after all this time hiding behind Kichiro's skirts?!" 

Did Kakashi mention that he’s a very well-renowned shinobi? Feared internationally and everything. 

Yeah. 

Because he is. 

Feared, that is. Respectable. Or, well, respected at any rate. 

He lands in a roll and is back on his knees and reaching for his weapons before he even has to think about it. Then he hesitates. Because he’s not actually here to fight. 

He just needs her to sign the contract. 

That moment of hesitation is enough for her hand to close around his throat this time, and a moment later he’s being pressed down against the ground like an errant pup. 

Pebbles bite hard into his back and she’s literally growling at him as his hands grasp at her arm, trying to pull her off. Trying to give himself a chance to breathe. 

He’s not here to fight her, he forcefully reminds himself. He’s here for Sakura’s sake. 

Her canines are sharp, as clear a warning as the growling and just as dangerous as a blade. 

His head is spinning, both from being thrown around and from lack of oxygen. 

He needs to fight. 

But he’s here for Sakura. Not to fight. 

As much as he’d like to tear her to shreds, he needs her to sign the contract. 

Air. 

He needs … needs to … 

Kakashi turns his face to the side, exposing his throat. 

Showing that he’s not here to fight. 

Showing … submission. 

Even just the thought of it makes him feel dirty. 

“Not even going to fight me, are you? You always were weak, just like your father!” 

The edge of his vision is going dark, his body relaxing against his will. 

He glares, as best as he can. She has no right to talk about his father! 

“Look at you; you’re pathetic. A dog ! Not even man enough to defend yourself.” 

“I’m here,” Kakashi croaks back. His voice seems to be coming from very far away. “That’s what you wanted, right?” 

Somehow he’s still conscious. Still able to get just enough air to keep his lungs burning, straining for more. 

The years certainly haven't made his aunt any kinder. If anything, it seems to have etched lines of anger even deeper into her already thin and sharp face. Her hair, kept shorter than even his own, has more white than grey in it, but that does not make her look any less dangerous at all. 

Some shinobi are like that, simply growing more dangerous as they get older, whilst those around them grow weaker. 

“Is that what you think?” 

The hand around his throat tightens further, and for a moment the world does go black around him before her face comes swimming back into a fuzzy focus.  

“You said you’d ruin her if I didn’t come!” Kakashi’s own canines are hidden by his mask, but he knows she can tell that they’re there anyway. “So say whatever you have to say and sign the damn paperwork!” 

There’s a dark gleam in her eyes, and for a moment Kakashi truly fears for his own life. 

Then she lets go and dismissively turns her back on him, stepping back up on the engawa. 

Kakashi scrambles to his feet, stumbling dizzily for a moment before the ground stops spinning beneath him.

“You’re a shame to the clan. Do you honestly think that I’ll permit you of all people to take an apprentice?” 

Kakashi does not really remember his grandfather, but for a moment he almost thinks he does, memories too vague to even be labelled as such flashing through his mind. She looks - and sounds - just like him. 

“Sign it, and I’ll be out of your way.” 

“No. Weakness like yours, and that of Sakumo, should be culled at birth.” 

How Kichiro can see anything soft or kind in this woman is far beyond Kakashi. But his father had seen it too. 

Don’t mind your aunt, he remembers his father telling him at some point. She just wants to make your grandfather proud of her. 

Sakumo had been different from the rest of the clan. Not so obsessed with being strong and ruthless, and more concerned with protecting his comrades and fostering good relationships with people. How he’d done it, Kakashi will never know. He’s just happy that Sakumo had protected him enough for him to be able to get out, after his father committed suicide. 

“From what I hear, that girl of yours is even worse.” 

Kakashi’s hands fists angrily at his side. 

She smirks down at him. 

“Go on, boy . Try to bite me if you can. Prove me wrong. I dare you.” 

Oh, he wants to. He’d love to throw her around like she’s thrown him. To kick and bite and scratch and tear at her until nothing but slices remains of her. 

And then he’d scatter those slices in the most dishonourable places he could imagine. 

But he needs her to sign the contract. 

For which she needs to be alive. 

Furthermore, he needs to be alive - and also not in jail for parricide - in order to keep Sakura as his apprentice. 

Konoha is ridiculously strict when it comes to killing your aunt. 

So. 

No killing. 

No maiming. 

Even if he really, really wants to. 

“You’re nothing but a whelp. Whelps can’t keep apprentices.” Disdainfully, she turns her back on him and heads back into the house. “Grow the fuck up before you ask me again.” 

With those last few words she roughly closes the door, leaving Kakashi standing outside. 

He’s trembling, adrenaline pumping through his body. Oxygen finally filling his lungs, strength returning to his limbs. 

Slowly, he turns around, making his way back to the gates. 

He has a choice. Kill his aunt and take over the clan - and most likely wind up in jail and still unable to train Sakura. Or, play along with his aunt’s stupid, implied games. 

Anything else and Sakura will be ruined. Kakashi does not doubt that his aunt is serious. She might not actually kill Sakura - if only because she’s a Konoha shinobi - but she will drag Sakura’s name through the mud until she’ll have no choice but to resign and probably leave Konoha. 

Sakumo would not approve of the more murderous choice. 

But the second choice means giving his aunt exactly what she wants. 

It’s not really a choice. 

Kakashi knows what he has to do. 

Stupid, fucking Hatake Sarana. 

"I don't recall summoning you, Kakashi," Lady Tsunade says when Kakashi climbs through the window of her office ten minutes later. 

Her scowl should probably be intimidating, but Kakashi’s intimidation-parameters are off already, and so he just ignores it. 

"You didn't. I'm here because I need to request time off."

"Well, that is easily solved then." She raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "Request denied. I've got a new mission for you starting the day after tomorrow."

Dismissively she returns her attention to her paperwork.

Kakashi is officially out of fucks to give when it comes to terrifying women. 

“Alrighty then, see you in two days. Oh, and don’t worry if I’m a little bit late. You know how I am.” 

He turns around to leave - through the door, just for the sake of change - and feels her eyes burning into his back. 

“How late?” 

Beneath the mask, Kakashi smiles. Victory. 

"I don't know. Depends what obstacles I meet on the road of life." He gives her a look as if that ought to be obvious. "It might be a day or two though." 

Has he lost his mind? 

Probably. 

Yeah. 

Laughter rises in his throat and he has to force it down. At least he has enough self-preservation left not to laugh when Lady Tsunade is glaring daggers at him. 

"How many days and where are you going?" 

"Hm, probably about two weeks. At least. And I’m going to the Land of Iron. To begin with.” 

Further north, really, but the quickest and easiest road will be through the Land of Iron, at least from what Kakashi remembers from his father’s tales. 

“You need two weeks off to go to the Land of Iron?” Lady Tsunade clarifies, her tone chilly. “Why?” 

Kakashi grimaces. “Clan politics.” 

“Mhm. And does this possibly have anything to do with your application for Sakura to become your apprentice?” 

Seeing no obvious need to hide the truth, especially given that Lady Tsunade has already guessed at the connection, Kakashi nods. She gives him a long, considering look, and Kakashi bears it quietly, waiting as patiently as he can for her judgement. 

“Fine.”  

Kakashi breathes a sigh of relief. 

“On one condition.” 

He tenses again, giving her a weary look. 

“What?” 

“That you bring Sakura with you.” 

“No.” 

The look she gives him brooks no argument. Kakashi stands firm though. 

“It’s too dangerous,” he explains. “Where I’m going is no place for a genin.” 

“Good thing she won’t be alone then. She’ll have you to look after her.” 

“She’s not coming.” 

“She’s going, or you’re not going.” 

They stare off, until finally Kakashi has to look away. 

“She’s your apprentice, Kakashi,” Lady Tsunade says, her voice unexpectedly soft. “The two of you are unlikely to get any other missions together, and considering you’ve only done a handful of D-ranks with her it is high time you take her outside the village walls.” 

Closing his eyes, Kakashi admits defeat. 

“Fine. But we’re leaving today.” 

With the Hokage’s approval at last, Kakashi leaves her office, intent on tracking down Sakura. 

Which proves surprisingly difficult given that she for some reason is using a fairly good transformation technique to disguise herself as a pigeon in the park. Kakashi is able to sense her chakra signature though, and makes a mental note to teach her how to hide it as he calls her down to inform her that they’re going on a mission. 

They’re packed within the hour, Kakashi taking the time to survey her packing and stop by the stores to buy her some better winter clothing. 

“I feel like we’ve forgotten something,” she says as they leave the gates behind. 

Kakashi just hums quietly, his thoughts already on the journey ahead of them.

Chapter Text

It’s been two days. 

Two days of travelling, of running through the trees, weighted down by the weights in her harness, and still Kakashi-sensei hasn’t told her what they’re doing. 

Just that they’re going on a mission . 

No details about what kind of mission they’re going on or why he’s bringing her or why they had to leave so abruptly or anything. 

All Sakura knows is that they’re going north and that the weights in her harness are making things a lot more tiresome than they have to be. 

At least he hasn’t forbidden her from using her chakra. 

Yet. 

“What kind of mission is this?” she asks for the umpteenth time when they take a break by a river, refilling their water bottles. “Where are we going?” 

Kakashi-sensei sighs but otherwise remains silent long enough that Sakura is convinced that he won’t answer. Again. 

"You know the Inuzuka clan, right?" 

The question seems so random and out of place that Sakura can only stare. 

"Obnoxious, loud clan with an unhealthy obsession with their dogs?" he continues. 

Sakura nods quietly. "I had one in my class. Inuzuka Kiba." Loud and obnoxious are indeed good descriptions of Kiba, at least in Sakura's book. Not very nice ones though, and probably not the words she would have chosen. 

"Youngest child of their current matriarch," Kakashi-sensei supplies. "I imagine he's much like the rest of his clan." 

Sakura just makes a vague sound of agreement, still not sure where this conversation is going. 

"The Hatake clan have traditionally been a lot like that," her sensei continues, his voice growing grim. "Except … more. In every way. Proud shinobi associated with wolves, always trying to be bigger and stronger than everyone else, with less bark and more bite than the Inuzuka. Or at least that’s been the ideal.” 

"That sounds …," she searches for the right word, deciding that insane or unhealthy are probably descriptors that will insult both her sensei and his clan.  

"Dangerous," Kakashi-sensei finishes for her. "It is. Or maybe rather was, considering the state of the clan nowadays." 

She opens her mouth to ask about his clan, but hesitates. His voice still has that grimness to it, and he’s looking anything but pleased. Dangerous, really. 

It’s the first time he has voluntarily shared information about his clan with her, and she knows just how painful talking about one’s clan can be. Still, the fact that he is sharing suggests that it has something to do with this mission of theirs, which in turn means that it’s probably ok for her to ask questions. 

Hopefully. 

"How many are there? In the clan, I mean?"

"There's me, my cousin and my aunt. Kichiro married into it, so he's not blood. And a great-great-uncle of mine, if he's still alive." 

He stands, putting his water bottle away, and Sakura follows his example, readying herself to head out again. Kakashi-sensei looks up at the sun, visibly estimating how much daylight they have left. 

“It’s getting late. Let’s camp here tonight.” 

They’re still well within Konoha borders, so they light a fire and catch fish to grill over it. With some rice, it makes a nice, warming dinner. 

“Anyway, with the reputation as big, bad shinobi my ancestors also concocted an equally impressive origin story.” Kakashi-sensei’s voice is calm but has a certain edge to it that speaks of grudges older than her. 

Sakura is pretty certain that she doesn’t like this grim version of her sensei. It makes her feel tense, on edge and fidgety. As if she’s in way deeper than she even understands; swimming in a lake while still convinced it’s a kiddy pool. 

“Don’t most clans have those?” she asks, trying to ease some of the tension. “The Haruno origin story speaks of how my grandmother escaped Uzushiogakure after its fall from the grace of the Gods with only her younger siblings.” 

“That’s more along the realms of family history than a clan origin story.” Kakashi gives her a look over the fire before returning his attention to the food. “The Hatake-clan has plenty of history too, and a lot of it within Konoha. We may not have been one of the founding clans, but we were around.” 

He lowers his head enough to cast a shadow that continues to hide his face as he inhales some of his food. The mask is off and back on again in seconds, not giving her so much as a glance of the face underneath it. 

Chewing slowly he stares into the fire with a pensive look, and Sakura doesn’t dare interrupt the silence. 

“A clan’s origin story is something different from its history, though most will claim it as the same. The Uchiha, for example, claim to be descendants of the Sage of Six Paths himself, literally the children of the man who first learned to unlock chakra. The Hyuga have a similar origin story, as does the Senju clan. But even they don’t dare to claim to literally be the children of gods.” 

A shiver runs down her spine and she draws her knees closer to her chest, already done with her meal. The Sage of Six Paths is a legend, generally regarded as the father of what would eventually become the modern shinobi. Practically a god in his own right, there are still plenty of stories, told amongst both shinobi and civilians alike and often in different variations of the same stories, depending on who’s telling the story. 

“The short version is that a wolf god and a human goddess fell in love, and from their love the first Hatake was born,” Kakashi-sensei continues, still staring into the fire. “Supposedly this happened on an island north of Iron Country. This was long before the formation of the first shinobi villages, but the island is still, to this day, known as Okami Island. On that island, there’s a mountain, creatively enough known as Okami Mountain.

“Anyway, the clan thrived on that island and the mountain for many generations, before they eventually grew too numerous and started to leave. They became nomads, wandering the nations.” 

Kakashi-sensei pauses to add more fuel to the fire, casting a glance towards her. When he speaks again his voice is a little lighter, lacking the same intensity that was built up before. 

Sakura breathes a little easier. 

“This is where actual history and origin story intersect. Before we settled in Konoha we were indeed nomads, often serving as mercenaries in various disputes. During this time - decades or even centuries, depending on who you ask - the clan continued to retain a tradition to return to that island. At some point someone built a shrine there, and it became tradition for every member of the clan to go there at least once.” 

Feeling some of the tension ebb away, Sakura swallows nervously, reaching for her water bottle to wet her suddenly dry throat. 

“Is that what we’re doing?” she guesses when she can speak again. “Going to that shrine, on Okami Island?” 

Kakashi nods quietly and Sakura absorbs the weight of that knowledge. 

She has never before been outside of Fire Country, only even left Konoha a few times. 

Iron Country to her is just a name on a map and a handful of facts. It is the only major nation to use samurai rather than shinobi, she knows. It is also a country that has largely kept out of the great shinobi wars, and thus served as neutral ground for peacemaking on multiple occasions. 

“Is it ..,” she hesitates to ask, but Kakashi-sensei gives her a small nod indicating that she should ask anyway. “Is it a coming of age thing? I’ve read that some clans have such things, and -” 

“It is.” 

“Oh. For me or for you?”

The fire casts strange shadows over his face, making it even harder than usual to interpret his expression. 

Sakura’s stomach twists uncomfortably. 

“For me.” 

She can’t prevent the relieved sigh that escapes her, and this time the look he gives her is definitely mischievous. 

“Ma, Sakura-chan, don’t tell me you were nervous? I’m sure we can make this journey interesting enough for you without adding Hatake legends to the mixture.” 

And suddenly she’s sure that tomorrow's journey won’t be nearly as easy as today’s, but that’s almost ok. He might find ways to test her endurance or whatever during this trip, but the trip itself is not a test of her . 

Then she cocks her head, another thought crossing her mind. 

“Sensei, if going to Okami Island is a Hatake coming of age ritual, how come you haven’t done it before?” 

Unless he has done it before and this is his second time doing it, but somehow she gets the feeling that’s not it. 

He’s quiet long enough that she’s almost started to think that he won’t answer her. 

“I guess it just hasn't really been the right time, before.” The words are slow, and full of subtext that she does not understand. She’s itching to ask more, but the subject is clearly making him uncomfortable and Sakura isn’t in the mood to test his patience any more. 

Silence falls between them. She listens to the sound of the fire crackling and the light breeze in the trees. Staring into the fire, she almost thinks she can see the shapes of wolves, gods and other demons in the flames. 

 Just one more question. 

“Sensei?” Her eyes are starting to grow heavy with sleep. “What are we supposed to do when we reach that island? Just … pray at the shrine, or what?” 

Kakashi-sensei is staring into the fire, and for a moment she almost thinks he hasn’t heard her. 

“I’m supposed to meditate when I am there, and if the gods find me worthy I’ll be rewarded with a wolf cub. If not, I return to the clan as a disappointment to the Hatake name.” 

“Does that actually happen? About the cub, I mean?” 

Shrugging, Kakashi-sensei reaches to extinguish the fire. Compact darkness falls over them. 

“Supposedly, yes. My aunt returned with a wolf cub, as did my grandfather, and his father before him and so on. I don’t think Gina did though, or I would’ve heard about it.” 

“And your father?” 

To Sakura’s surprise, Kakashi laughs a little at that. A fond, happy laugh. 

“My father returned with my mother, rather than a wolf cub. My grandfather and aunt were very disappointed, but if you ask me he was lucky.” 

He stands, dusting his trousers off as he does. 

“Now go to bed. I’ll take the first watch.” 

Obediently she unrolls her bedroll, laying it out close to the lingering warmth of the fire and crawling into it. 

She’s asleep in moments. 

The next morning Kakashi-sensei sets her on practising her stealth, by having her stalk him as they continue their journey. And of course, if he doesn’t think she’s doing a good enough job of being quiet or remaining undetected, he chucks a pebble at her. 

At least now, she has a decent chance of being able to dodge them. 

They’re travelling at a pace that Sakura would classify as medium-to-harsh, but which is probably only about half speed for Kakashi-sensei. Sakura stores that knowledge away for future motivation when training. 

When they stop that evening, Kakashi-sensei and her settle down to meditate. Sakura still finds it awkward to get into the meditation - her body is exhausted, her muscles sore and the ground uncomfortable beneath her bum - but once she’s able to focus on her chakra things get a lot easier. 

“You have done a decent job of stalking me,” Kakashi-sensei says, “but I’m still able to sense your chakra easily. In order for you to be able to hide from a more experienced shinobi, you need to be able to suppress your chakra.” 

“Like when I run on the wall?” 

“Not really. That’s more along the lines of restraining your chakra - it’s still there and easy to sense for any moderately talented shinobi, and you’re still able to use it just the same.” 

Sakura wonders how Kakashi-sensei’s definition of a moderately talented shinobi compares to her own, but does not ask the question out loud. 

She’s rewarded with more information. 

“The Chakra Suppression Technique, however, allows you to suppress your own chakra - or even that of your comrades - so that it becomes completely undetectable to the enemy. If done correctly, even a sensor-type won’t be able to sense you.” 

That sounds like a useful skill, Sakura has to admit. 

“The drawback is that as long as you are actively suppressing your chakra, you won’t be able to use it and remain hidden.” 

“So how do I do that?” 

“Can you sense me now?” 

Sakura takes a couple of deep breaths, returning the majority of her focus to her chakra. The slow, steady flow of her chakra throughout her body. It feels like cooling water to her exhausted limbs. 

She taps her index-finger against the back of her hand, and immediately there’s that sensation of a ripple on a pond. 

“There.” Kakashi-sensei is sitting straight in front of her; his body relaxed and his chakra swirling lazily. 

“Good. See if you can sense what I’m doing now.” 

Sakura frowns as his chakra begins to diminish, slowly shrinking and growing dull, until it’s no longer there. 

Opening her eyes, she can clearly see that he’s still sitting there. He hasn’t left. 

But his chakra is gone. 

With a tap against the back of her hand, she reaches out again. There are a couple of smaller signatures up in a nearby tree - birds or squirrels, she suspects - but no Kakashi-sensei. 

“Again?” she says. 

Abruptly, his chakra is there again. Just in front of her, where she logically knows that it is but where there seemed to be nothing before. 

Then it begins to dull again. Shrinking. Until it’s no more potent or bright than that of the birds/squirrels, and then not even that. How does he do that? 

Experimentally, she slows her own chakra down. Imagines it growing dull, like Kakashi-sensei’s chakra does. 

A shiver runs through her, and she has to start all over again. 

“Don’t slow your chakra down too much. People have gotten injured and even died from accidentally stopping their chakra.”

Well, that’s reassuring, Sakura thinks sarcastically. Great. She’s out in the middle of nowhere, with only Kakashi-sensei for company, practising a technique that might just kill her if she makes a mistake. 

With another couple of slow, deep breaths she manages to calm herself down enough to try again. 

Her chakra is a slow, comforting stream throughout her body. 

There are 361 tenketsu along her chakra pathways, controlling the flow of her chakra. She’s not familiar enough with her chakra to know where any of those tenketsu are, but she knows the theory at least. 

361 tenketsu, and somewhere in her chest, the warm, comforting sensation that is her core. 

She does not want to stop all of that. 

No, she wants to dim it all. Like putting a piece of fabric over a lamp. Except instead of a lamp she’s got her chakra, and instead of fabric she’s got … what, exactly?

“Keep trying. I’ll get dinner started.” 

Distantly she listens to the sound of Kakashi-sensei getting up. His chakra is still annoyingly absent.

Frustrated with her struggle, she reaches out with her chakra towards the birds - or squirrels, whatever they are. Their chakra is different from hers; not so bright, and its movements not as controlled or predictable as hers. She tries to imitate the way their chakra moves, but quickly realises that their chakra systems are different enough that it’s virtually impossible. 

Then there’s everything else. To her mind, sensing chakra feels like ripples on a pond. Her own chakra is the ripple itself, but what about the pond? That must be everything else. The earth beneath her, the trees, everything. 

So, if she doesn’t have the chakra-equivalent of a blanket to cover herself with, what about diluting her chakra? The principle should still be the same, right? Like pouring water into a soup, until it’s impossible to tell that there was ever soup to begin with? 

With that thought in mind she reaches out again, not for the birds this time but rather towards the ground beneath her. She imagines channelling her chakra there. 

It bleeds into the ground, slipping away from her grasp. 

She tries again, feeling the chakra slowly slip out of her control before reaching out for it again, just before it disappears for good, ordering it to return to her. 

To flow back into her body. 

Bringing that natural chakra back with it, allowing it to mix with her own chakra and- 

“Stop it right there!”

Just as something clicks within Sakura - the sudden knowledge that this is right and it’s working and she’s finally becoming a part of nature just as she was always intended - Kakashi-sensei slaps her over the head. 

Hard. 

Immediately breaking her focus. 

“Hey!” she exclaims, feeling the chakra slip away from her. Gingerly, she rubs at the sore spot. “Why’d you-” 

“No taking in natural energy! Ever!” 

Kakashi-sensei’s voice is harsh, but there’s something else in his eye. Something she might have called fear, if it was anyone but him. 

He crouches down in front of her, so that their eyes are on the same level. Is she imagining things, or does he look pale beneath the mask and the headband? 

“Promise me that you won’t do that again! Promise me, Sakura!”

“Wha-what did I even do?” Seeing her sensei in such a frenzy, she cannot help but feel her own heart speed up with worry, and to her embarrassment there’s already tears burning in her eyes. “I promise I wasn’t trying to do anything bad, I was just … just trying to …” 

A sniffle escapes her and she forces herself to remain quiet. She’s not going to cry just because Kakashi-sensei is scolding her. 

She’s not! Angrily, she wipes at her eyes. 

He sighs, relaxing a little. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. It’s just …” He pulls his hand through his hair, messing it up even worse than it was before. “What you did there was really dangerous, Sakura. Really, really dangerous.” 

“It was?” 

He nods. “You were absorbing natural energy.” 

“So? I was just trying to dilute my chakra in order to suppress it, just like you did.” 

“You were … just like ..?!” Kakashi-sensei stammers, his one, visible eye growing large. 

Sakura ducks her head, deducing from his reaction that however he suppressed his own chakra, it was definitely not by diluting his chakra. 

Ok, so maybe she should have asked first or something, but how is she supposed to know what she can and cannot do? It’s not like there’s a lot of literature available to genin on chakra meditation to begin with! And he’d told her to keep trying, without even explaining it any further! 

Kakashi mutters something beneath his breath - not loud or clear enough for her to hear, which is probably well enough anyway. From the looks of it, it’s not anything nice. 

“Ok, I didn’t think I’d ever have to say this, but in case it isn’t obvious; diluting your chakra is bad. Especially with natural energy.” 

“You can dilute your chakra with other things too? Like what?” 

Though the question is perfectly reasonable, as far as Sakura is concerned - until moments ago she’d been unaware that it was even possible to dilute your own chakra, much less that there are apparently multiple ways of doing so, and how is she supposed to know not to do something if she doesn’t even know that it can be done in the first place? - but from the look Kakashi-sensei gives her you’d think she’d asked about the best way to assassinate the Hokage. 

Or maybe, like … destroy his stupid porn-book or something. 

“Never. Dilute. Your. Chakra. Understood?” 

Sakura nods. “Understood.” 

“And never, ever , play around with natural energy!” 

“Ok, but why not?” 

Kakashi-sensei rubs both of his hands across his face, looking supremely tired. 

“Because natural energy is supremely difficult to control, and if you absorb too much you’ll turn into stone.” 

Well, at least then an enemy won’t be able to sense her chakra, Sakura thinks. 

As if he’s able to read her thoughts, Kakashi-sensei gives her another glare. “ Forever . And, just to be clear, that’s bad!” 

Oh. Yeah, that does not sound too good. 

“Ok, so no using natural energy then,” she states. “And no diluting my chakra. How am I supposed to suppress it then?” 

“Like a normal, fucking person!” Kakashi-sensei mutters, standing to remove their dinner from the fire. 

Which is completely unfair, as far as Sakura is concerned, because how is she supposed to know how to do it when he hasn’t even properly explained things? 

“Eat.” He thrusts a bowl with rice and meat at her, and she automatically accepts it. 

They eat in silence. 

“I’m sorry,” Sakura says when she can no longer handle the silence. 

Kakashi-sensei nods. Then, as if he has to remind himself to verbalise his thoughts, he adds: 

“It’s fine. You didn’t know. I should have warned you.” 

The last part is said with a tone suggesting that having to warn her about the dangers of natural energy and/or diluting her chakra is the same as having to warn her that fire is hot. 

At least he doesn’t sound too angry anymore. Sakura breathes a little easier. 

“Since we are on the topic of warnings, I suppose I should also tell you that chakra meditation can be very dangerous, if you don’t know what you’re doing.” 

“That’s exactly what I said before!” 

“And then you started taking in natural energy while meditating, so this is me reminding you.” 

He puts his bowl down. It’s empty, even though she hasn’t seen him take even one bite. Then he points his chopsticks at her, giving her a stern look. 

“So, for the purpose of you being warned about the dangers; stopping your chakra is bad. Diluting your chakra is bad. Taking in natural energy is-” 

“-bad, I get it, sensei! I already said I won’t do it!” 

“Doing something stupid like, I don’t know, opening your tenketsu is bad. In fact, it’s very bad and dangerous, so don’t even think about it!” 

“You can open tenketsu?” What a strange thought, Sakura thinks.  

“Don’t you dare! And while we’re on the subject, don’t do some stupid stuff like bleed yourself of chakra, or channel it all into an inanimate object, or-” 

“Why would I bleed myself of chakra?” 

“Why would you try to dilute your own chakra?!”

Ok, so, point to Kakashi-sensei, Sakura admits to herself. 

“In fact, if there’s anything at all that you’d like to try while meditating, please consult me first!” 

“Ok, ok, I promise I’ll be super careful!” 

Kakashi-sensei looks at leasts mildly mollified by that. 

“Can I try suppressing my chakra again now?” 

Grumbling, Kakashi agrees to let her try again. 

After he’s cleaned away after dinner and explained the process properly to her. Twice . 

And yes, once she’s got it, Sakura can see why he would not expect her to start absorbing natural energy to suppress her chakra. 

The technique is much simpler than that. 

On their fourth day of the journey north they reach a small border town that Kakashi is almost intimately familiar with. He once spent two whole months living there, serving as a bodyguard for some noble hiding from his mistress and wife, who had joined forces and were apparently out for blood. The whole thing had ended when one of the many women the man kept bringing to his bed - against the advice of Kakashi - had finally cut his throat in the middle of the night. 

You can lead a horse to water but not make it drink, and all that. Even if the stupid fucking horse is paying you to make sure it doesn’t die. 

Anyway, the point is that Kakashi is familiar enough with the town to know that they have a very nice inn: with a hardworking owner, clean beds and good food. That’s where he steers his way as he enters the village, Sakura in tow, and rents them a room each for the night. 

After a nice, hot bath in the local hot springs, they have dinner in his room. The food is excellent, even better than he remembers: an elaborate meal with multiple courses of local fish, vegetables and fruits. 

Kakashi watches Sakura eat with dainty, elegant movements and he knows what he has to do. 

He cannot bring her with him any further on the journey. It’s too dangerous. 

But she’ll be safe here. They’re still within the borders of Fire Country, and there’s a shinobi outpost not far from here in case anything were to happen while he’s gone. 

The words burn in his mouth but somehow he cannot make himself speak them. 

Not yet. 

Not when she’s looking so happy, enjoying the food and the dessert. 

After dinner they settle down for their usual meditation, and as usual Kakashi cannot stop from marvelling at her chakra control. It has barely been a month since he taught her chakra meditation to begin with, and she’s already so advanced. Mastering everything he throws at her with an ease that is both wonderful and terrifying. 

He can still recall the fear yesterday, the moment he realised that she was somehow absorbing natural energy. It’s only luck that he himself had noticed and been able to recognise it - a long-forgotten, off-topic comment from Minato-sensei about the potential and dangers of natural energy suddenly surging to the forefront of his mind. 

It shouldn’t be possible, much less for someone so new to chakra meditation as Sakura, and yet … yet she’d done it. On purpose. Trying to fucking dillute her chakra, because that’s the easiest way she could possibly figure out to suppress her chakra. 

He shakes his head at the thought, and he can almost hear Minato-sensei laughing at him from the other side. Is this what it had been like, trying to teach him? Back when Kakashi had been an obnoxious little shit, obsessed with rules and experimenting with jutsu creation and being wholly unable to see the value of his teammates?

Maybe it’s karma. 

Maybe it’s just fate throwing another person into his life, letting him grow close only to then snatch that person away. 

That’s why he cannot bring her with him to Okami Island. Going there is a bad idea to begin with, especially so in the middle of the winter, and if he had a choice he wouldn’t go at all. As it is, he has no choice. His aunt was fucking clear; whelps can’t keep apprentices. If he wants her to approve of him taking Sakura as an apprentice, he has to show himself worthy in the eyes of the clan. And the only way to do that is to do this stupid journey. 

Simply killing his aunt is, sadly, out of the question, so his only other option would be to reject the Hatake name and the clan. Become No Name Kakashi. Which wouldn’t really bother him as such - he’s had many worse names, including Friend Killer Kakashi - if not for the fact that doing so would also mean rejecting his father. And that’s a threshold Kakashi has yet to cross, despite his complicated relationship to his father and his clan through the years. 

“Goodnight, Kakashi-sensei,” Sakura says when the hour grows late and it’s time for them to go to bed.  

The words are still burning in Kakashi’s mouth, but all he says is; 

“Good night, Sakura.” 

Despite the comfort of having an actual bed, his sleep is restless that night. He dreams of Sakura, alone in the night, stalked by snarling wolves; of watching her flee for her life, unable to help even as she’s torn to shreds by ruthless beasts. 

In the wee hours of the morning he gives up on sleep, settling instead to stand guard on the roof as the morning slowly dawns. 

Once Sakura awakens, they have breakfast in his room. Like dinner, it’s delicious; miso soup, rice, pickled daikon, fresh, grilled fish, onsen tamago, vegetables and hot tea. 

If he’s going to tell her, it has to be now. Once they pass the border, she won’t be nearly as safe, even if he manages to find a decent inn to leave her at. 

She’ll be upset, of course, but it’ll be for her own good. For her own safety. He’d rather her be upset and alive than dead or injured. If that means having her angry with him, feeling as if he’s abandoning her in a random village where she knows no one, then … 

Fuck, that’ll probably just lead to her trying to go after him, wouldn’t it? And thanks to him teaching her how to be sneaky and hide her chakra and everything, he might not even notice immediately. That’s exactly the kind of thing he would have been tempted to do, had Minato-sensei decided to leave him behind at an inn at that age. 

Except, unlike him at that age, Sakura does not have an unhealthy obsession with the shinobi rules. She knows and respects them, but she knows how to break them too. That’s probably one of the first things he ever taught her - taught team 7 at all - and one of the first things that had truly made him proud of her. 

Somewhere, some deity is definitely laughing their ass off. 

In the end, the words remain unspoken. 

Like a loyal shadow, Sakura follows him as they leave the village behind. 

Kakashi can only pray that he won’t regret bringing her along. 

Halfway between Konoha and the border, they start to reach sub-zero temperatures. Sakura is grateful for her new winter clothes, being especially happy for the fur-lined coat and the warmth it offers in the evenings. 

From there, the weather only gets colder and colder the further north they come. 

A couple of times Sakura senses Kakashi-sensei flaring his chakra at people she cannot detect, but no Konoha-shinobi approaches them as they near Iron Country. 

She’s mildly surprised when they arrive at a border station, five days into their journey. It is basically tradition for shinobi not to use such crossing-points, unless on very official missions to the country in question. Sneaking in and out of a country is typically easier than dealing with the hassle of bureaucracy, after all, and also serves to keep the various nations on their toes. 

Of course, unless a country has a really bad border patrol they’ll notice a group of shinobi entering and exiting the country anyway, Iruka-sensei had explained, back in the Academy. Which is why one always has to carry the proper papers and be mindful to follow the country’s laws. Anything else would reflect badly on Konoha at best, and be considered an act of war at worst. 

“We do not want to get on the wrong side of the Samurai,” Kakashi-sensei explains when she voices her surprise. “Most countries wouldn’t put up too much of a fuss, but samurai are stingy with traditions. They take shinobi entering their land very seriously.” 

Three guards greet them. Sakura has seen depictions of samurai before, in her textbooks, but she’s never seen one in real life. They are much more intimidating up close, she thinks. 

They wear very heavy looking, segmented plate armours all over their body, including demonic looking helmets. One of them even has horns on his helmet, and they all wear face masks that hide their features. 

All in all there is very little humanity at all about the warriors before her, and she happily falls back to let Kakashi-sensei deal with them. 

“We just want to pass through,” Kakashi informs them, handing over their papers for perusal. 

The one with the horns on his helmet accepts the paper, scanning them carefully. She counts four swords on him, and if the Academy texts are anything like reality he likely knows how to use each and every one of them. 

“What’s your purpose?”

Even the voice is strange, warped by the face mask to sound more metallic than any human voice should ever sound. She tries to hide her shiver of unease. 

“Okami Island, up north.” 

The samurai with the horned-helmet hands their documents to another, who carefully copies the information down before handing it back to them. 

“Be careful to stick to the main road. The mountains are dangerous this time of the year.” 

“We’ll manage,” Kakashi-sensei says, waving the warning away. 

“There’s a group of nomads bound to come by soon, heading in the same direction. It might be safer for you to wait for them, and see if they’ll take you.” 

Kakashi-sensei just continues to wave their concern away, and soon they leave the border station and the samurai guarding it behind. 

“If we’re ever at war with the Samurai, I want to be on a team with Tenten,” Sakura mutters when she’s reasonably certain that they won’t be able to hear her. 

“Let’s hope it never gets to that.” Kakashi-sensei ruffles her hair teasingly, and she scowls back at him. 

That evening they make camp at the base of a snow-covered mountain range that makes the Hokage Mountain look like something belonging in a sandbox. 

As has become their ritual, they settle down for meditation after dinner. 

“I’m going to teach you something very important,” Kakashi-sensei tells her. 

Sakura, who’s only been allowed to practise her chakra suppression for the last few days, perks up at that. Finally something new! 

“This is a technique to keep yourself warm, using only your chakra. It’s very useful, especially in these conditions, but I need you to be very, very careful with it, ok?” 

Sakura nods importantly. 

“Do you remember using chakra to soothe your muscles?” 

Again, Sakura nods. 

“This technique is somewhat like that, except you won’t just be circulating your chakra. You’ll make it thicker, and you’ll vibrate it. The vibration is what will keep you warm.” 

She grins. That doesn’t sound too difficult. 

“Look at me, Sakura.” Kakashi-sensei waits until they have eye-contact before continuing again. “Be. Careful. Ok? If you overdo it, you might end up boiling yourself from the inside.” 

At that, she can only gape. What kind of messed up technique would enable her to do something like that? 

Does she even want to learn a technique with that kind of risk attached to it? 

“As long as you are very careful there should be no risk of that happening right now, but with prolonged use you’ll get used to the heat and run the risk of overheating yourself. So, learn exactly how much chakra you need to keep yourself at a normal temperature, and never go above that, no matter how tempted you are. Do you understand?” 

Sakura swallows, her throat suddenly dry. 

“I think so. Find the balance and don’t go above that.” 

“Exactly. Now, would you like to try?” 

After being told that there’s a risk she’ll boil herself? Not really. 

Then again, she can definitely see why such a technique might be useful. 

The air is cold against her face as she draws a deep breath. It stings in her nostrils and throat. 

She shifts, adjusting her position a little, and sinks into meditation. 

“Good. Now, start by making your chakra thicker.” 

Mindful of his warnings not to boil herself, she starts to figure out how to do this. Thicker, she thinks. Not more, like when she uses chakra to enhance her strength, but more dense. Like with chakra strings, except the chakra is still inside her body. 

Fidgeting with her chakra for a couple of minutes, she soon figures out the machinations of making it more or less dense. Less denseness has a clear, cooling effect - not like when she’s soothing her muscles after training, just simple coldness. Thickening her chakra is a little bit tricky, and almost automatically brings with it the vibrations Kakashi-sensei had mentioned. 

The effect is immediate and much more tangible than her subtle soothing of muscles. Warmth spreads throughout her, quickly warming her from the inside and out. 

Since she really does not intend to boil herself, she makes her chakra thinner again. Returning it to its usual denseness and flow. 

“Good,” Kakashi-sensei tells her. “Try again.” 

Even more careful this time, she slowly makes her chakra more dense again. 

“Like this?” 

Cold fingers gently touch her forehead. “I think you can do a little bit more.” 

She obliges. 

“Just like that. Memorise that, and don’t go higher than that, ok?” 

He leaves her to meditate on that for a while. 

The balance is a delicate one. After a while, she does not feel as warm anymore, and it’s very much tempting to increase the heat just a little bit more. Despite Kakashi-sensei’s warnings. 

She can definitely see how she might be tempted to take things too far, given the right circumstances. 

While she meditates, Sakura does not even try to keep track of time, but eventually Kakashi indicates that it’s time for her to go to sleep. 

“Sensei?” she says when she’s crawled down into her sleeping pack. 

He hums quietly in acknowledgement. 

“Won’t the balance be different depending on the temperature outside? I mean, like how I’ll adjust how much clothing I’m wearing right now compared to back in Konoha?” 

He’s shaking his head already before she has finished speaking. 

“Normal human body temperature is 37 degrees celsius; too high and you’ve got a fever or a heat exhaustion and too low, and your organs and nervous system stop working properly. Because it is your own chakra and body you are working with, the balance will always be the same, or at least near enough that you can’t afford trying to adjust to your circumstances. Especially since you’ll be tempted to do so when your senses will already be impaired by cold and likely exhaustion.” 

She frowns, mulling that over. 

“Now, if you were using, say, a wind jutsu to adjust the temperature around you, it is true that the amount of chakra going into it would vary depending on the temperature. Still the same risks that you might end up boiling yourself, but with external manipulations you are a lot less sensitive to damage.” 

She nods, because she thinks she understands. 

“What if I make my chakra too thin? Will I wind up cooling myself down too far?” 

“In theory, though it’s less likely to happen. Unless you are actively shutting down the rest of your body, there are other parts working to keep you warm, not just your chakra. In contrast, the body has a much harder time regulating heat, and your senses are unlikely to be very reliable if you are in a life-or-death situation.” 

It seems strange, she thinks, that she runs the danger of overheating herself in a place such as this; where temperatures seem to be permanently at sub-zero levels and the snow lies thick. 

“I’ll be careful,” she promises sleepily. 

“Good.” 

For the next few days, as they continue to make their way north, she continues to practise her chakra meditation, always conscious about the balance needed to keep herself warm. 

The mountains rise high above them and the snow is at places deeper than she is tall. Using chakra to walk on it comes as easily to her as tree climbing and water walking, and Kakashi-sensei practices with her until her control is good enough that she doesn’t even leave a trace behind. 

Though they keep mostly to valleys and hollows of the mountains, it seems they are always going uphill. Sakura longs for flat ground, to be able to see the horizon beyond the mountains and for a day when her muscles don't ache. 

“We’ve now reached the Iron highlands,” Kakashi-sensei tells her halfway through their second day travelling through the Land of Iron. 

Sakura looks around but isn't sure she can tell any difference between these mountains and the mountains of yesterday. 

“The southern part of the Land of Iron shares a border with three countries,” he tells her. “Do you know which?” 

“Waterfalls, Sound and Fire,” she replies, recalling the Academy maps. 

“Exactly. Now the highlands don't actually share a border with any country. It is surrounded by the Northern Ocean on three sides, save for where it tapers down into the Iron lowlands. If you ask the Samurai, they will tell you that it doesn’t matter; Iron is Iron, regardless of highlands or lowlands. However the truth is that the Samurai rule the lowland, and the highland is populated by various indigenous tribes that the Samurai have never properly conquered.” 

Sakura frowns at his choice of words. 

“Conquered? Not “ruled”?” 

“Exactly. The indigenous people will sometimes fight amongst themselves, but they don’t have one king or ruler. In fact, the people here don’t always live here either. They’re nomads, often travelling across the ocean to the highlands of Earth or Lightening, depending on their traditions and seasons. Some even travel further north.” 

Cocking her head, Sakura tries to recall the Academy maps, but can’t for the life of her remember one that showed further north than Iron or Earth or Lightning. 

“What’s north?” she wonders. 

Kakashi shrugs. “We don’t know. Some say it’s islands, some say it’s another country. Okami Mountain is generally regarded as the edge of the world, with only the ocean beyond the island. The indigenous people disagree, of course, but they haven’t shared what they know either. At least not with the Samurai or the shinobi.”  

Sakura isn’t sure what she thinks of that and so she keeps quiet. 

She does, however, decide that if she ever meets one of these indigenous peoples she’ll be sure to ask them about it. 

“I wish there was an easier mode of transportation here,” Sakura says one afternoon when she is particularly cold, tired and done with the view of mountains all around her. “I miss the trees of Konoha.” 

These mountains have plenty of snow but very little by way of trees or even other vegetation. What little there is seems to be mostly buried deep beneath the snow and not nearly enough for tree running. They don’t even have fuel for a fire in the evenings, and Kakashi-sensei have resorted to using a portable gas stove rather than an open fire for cooking. It does its job as far as cooking goes, but offers very little heat otherwise, thus Sakura’s current mood. 

Kakashi doesn’t answer immediately, looking towards the sky to estimate the time of day. 

“That might be organised,” he says after a minute. 

They stop for a break and Kakashi-sensei picks out a scroll from one of his many pockets, unrolling it to summon a contraption Sakura has only seen in pictures before. 

“What’s this?” she asks, stepping closer to get a better look. 

“A sled,” he answers in the most deadpan voice possible. 

Sakura gives him the coldest glare she is capable of. 

“I can tell, sensei. I meant more along the lines of how this will make travelling any easier, seeing as how we’re still going uphill ?” 

“Just wait and see.” 

He steps to the side again, running through a series of quick, vaguely familiar hand signs before pressing his hand against the snow. There’s a poof of smoke, and when it parts to the wind it reveals eight dogs with happily wagging tails. They greet him with excited barks and, to her surprise, even some exclamations of “Boss!” 

“Settle down, boys,” Kakashi-sensei says once he has properly greeted them all. “I want you all to meet someone. This is Sakura. Sakura, these are my summons.” 

As one they all turn their heads towards her and she finds herself the focus of eight pairs of scrutinising eyes. A moment later they’re all circling her, tails wagging friendly and noses sniffing her. 

“Pup, huh?” a small one says, his voice a lot rougher than his small appearance might indicate. 

“Sakura, these are Bull, Urushi, Shiba, Bisuke, Akino, Uhei, Buruko and Pakkun.” 

Kakashi-sensei points to all of them in order and she dutifully tries to memorise their names, but the fact that they’re still moving around her makes it a difficult endeavour. 

“Nice to meet you all,” she says, feeling only a little foolish talking to dogs. 

“Nice to meet you too,” another of the smaller ones says. 

Whilst she greets all of the dogs Kakashi produces several ropes, which he attaches to the front of the sled and then to each of the dogs. 

“Take a seat, Sakura,” he says as he himself takes up position standing at the back of the sled. 

She has barely taken a seat before the dogs are off, and she hastily has to pull her legs into the sled as they practically fly across the snow. The dogs have spread out in a fan before the sled. 

Travelling by dog sled turns out to be an entirely different experience from running. After a couple of minutes she is comfortable enough to lean back against the back of the sled, enjoying the sensation of wind against her face whilst her muscles enjoy some well deserved rest. 

“Is there a particular reason we didn’t do this sooner?” she wonders, glancing up at Kakashi-sensei. 

“The sled leaves tracks and I wanted us to be safely out of the way of bandits.” 

A look behind them shows that the sled is indeed leaving tracks, but the excuse still rings weakly in Sakura’s ears. She narrows her eyes, but Kakashi-sensei continues to look completely innocent, more focused on the landscape before them than on her. 

“Thanks anyway,” she says, deciding not to question him on it. Worst case scenario, he might decide to take the sled and dogs away, and she really doesn’t want that. 

A while later she is startled as one of the dogs, the smallest of the group and the one with the dark voice, joins her in the sled. Pakkun, she recalls. 

“Don’t mind me,” he says, shaking snow from his fur. 

Because the sled is not exactly roomy he crawls up in her lap to get a better seat, sniffing curiously as he does so. 

“Do I smell Minty Rainforest Mist?” 

“Huh? Yeah, that’s my shampoo,” she admits, embarrassed and wondering what else he can smell. It has been days since she last had a shower, after all. 

“Huh, I use the same one,” he replies, to her eternal surprise. “Wonder why my coat looks so much glossier than yours?” 

“What?!” 

Pakkun and the other dogs laugh, or in some cases bark excitedly, as she processes the fact that she apparently uses the same shampoo as a dog.

When they get back to Konoha, she’s buying herself some new shampoo first thing she does. 

Some time after they change from travelling by running to travelling by dog sled, the ground actually starts leaning downhill again. There is a different scent in the air too, even she can tell. 

“It’s the scent of the ocean,” Pakkun, who has become her companion in the sled, tells her.

By the time they reach the ocean she is expecting big waves and masses of water but to her disappointment the water is frozen over. It makes travel easy, as the sled slides right out onto the ice and the dogs continue running. 

“I’m sure this goes without saying, Sakura,” Kakashi-sensei tells her, “but generally speaking, going straight out onto unfamiliar ice is a very bad idea. The only reason we’re doing it right now is because the dogs are able to tell whether the ice is thick enough.” 

“I understand, sensei. I’ll be careful.” 

“Good. In these temperatures a bath can be fatal in and of itself, but there is also the danger of currents beneath the ice.” 

Her grip on the sled is extra tight as they cross the ice, and her gaze lingers on the ice, imagining being swept away under it. 

It is a chilling thought. 

Out on the ice, with no more mountains surrounding them, the sun becomes particularly sharp, glittering in the snow and at times making it almost impossible to see anywhere. Then there is also the wind, which while not overly strong this day still carries enough snow to sting her eyes. Together this means that she actually spends the majority of their trip across the water with her eyes closed, trying not to imagine the ice breaking beneath them. The way it rumbles and creaks beneath them sometimes makes it harder than she would like it to be. 

“Look,” Pakkun says, startling her from her half-sleep. 

Blearily she looks up, and at first she doesn’t even see the large shape before them because of the sun. Squinting against the sun she is finally able to make out the shape. 

Okami Mountain looms before them.

Chapter Text

They camp on the edge of Okami Island that evening, deciding not to brave the mountain and risk getting caught without protection in the evening. Sakura is grateful for the addition of eight warm bodies surrounding her when she sleeps, for once almost making her feel warm. 

In the morning Kakashi-sensei is restless, yet he doesn’t move to hurry them along. Instead he sends the dogs out, asking them to see if they can find the shrine they are looking for. With snow as deep as it is, it will most likely be at least partially buried. 

As the dogs set out to search the island Kakashi turns to her and she swallows nervously, sensing a change of focus. 

“Ma, Sakura-chan, I think it is time I taught you an actual jutsu, don’t you think?” 

Having half expected to be set on another ridiculously hard training exercise, she is weary at first. 

“Didn’t you say before that I don’t have the chakra reserves to learn flashy new jutsu?” 

“Well, they have improved a bit since then. Besides, what I plan on teaching you isn’t exactly flashy.” 

Standing straighter she feels a warmth bloom within her, not from any jutsu but from pure joy. Kakashi-sensei is teaching her an actual jutsu! Not just pushing her to do ridiculous running exercises or sparring or even meditation, but an actual jutsu! 

“Now, this is a D-rank and very akin to something I have already seen you do. Do you remember that evening when I came to the Genin Corps, when you fought on the water?” 

Sakura nods, recalling the evening. She’d fought both Tanigawa and Hajime, not realising that Kakashi-sensei was there. That he was watching her. Frustratingly, she’d lost against Tanigawa, but at least she’d won against Hajime. They’d sparred on the surface of the river, and when she had been too slow to dodge an incoming attack she had allowed herself to sink into the water instead. The look on Hajime’s face had been surprised, which had only grown better when she used her position in the water to pull him down as well a moment later. 

“I remember.” 

“This technique basically allows you to swim through water more easily than you ordinarily might. These are the hand signs.” 

He shows her the signs and she memorises the order, swiftly repeating them to herself a few times until they flow easily after one another. It seems easy enough, she thinks. Even so, there is a knot of worry in her stomach. 

“I’m not going swimming, am I?” 

“Not in water, no. But this technique can be used on water in all forms, including snow. Try it out.” 

With a relieved sigh she kneels on the snow, running through the hand signs again and this time allowing her chakra to flow in accordance with them. At the end there is a slight tug on her reserves, similar to when she uses the body replacement technique or any other jutsu. 

Curiously, she presses down with her hand, seeing it sink into the hard pressed snow much easier than it naturally would. Moving it around is different too; the snow isn’t so much getting moved by her hand as simply shifting around it, returning to its original position as soon as she has passed. It doesn’t disturb the surface either, even though her hand isn’t that deep. 

“Try diving in,” Kakashi suggests. 

Hesitant, because she would ordinarily take more time to accommodate herself with a new jutsu, she allows herself to fall forward. The snow parts around her and keeps parting , shifting beneath her and coming together above her. The lack of daylight startles her, though she ought to have expected it. As her whole body is submerged in snow there is nothing but darkness and gentle cold surrounding her, somewhat like swimming yet entirely different. 

The second thing she becomes aware of is that there really isn’t any oxygen in the snow either. She definitely should have taken a deeper breath. 

Sensing firm ground beneath her at last she turns, kicking off towards the surface again. Her head emerges through the snow a moment later and she takes a deep breath. 

“Excellent,” Kakashi-sensei says, crouching beside her head. “Not everyone can get back up on their first try.” 

“Did you let me dive in without knowing whether I’d get back up again?!” she exclaims, horrified at the thought of being buried alive in the cold snow. 

“I would have fished you up.” 

His voice is mock-hurt and she gives him a matching glare. 

“You don’t actually have to keep treading water, you know,” he points out a moment later. “The snow should adjust around you according to your will anyway. Try going down again.” 

“Well, treading helps!” she points out before taking a deep breath and diving again. 

Submerged again she finds that he is correct, but that moving as if she’s swimming still helps. With some practice she could probably become proficient at moving without movement, but as it is, instincts honed from swimming are still strong. 

When she needs to breathe again she returns to the surface, forcing herself not to keep treading as she remains mostly submerged. Kakashi-sensei is further away this time, or maybe it is she that has just moved that far, but he strolls over to her when he notices her head above the snow. 

“Seems like you’re catching on quickly. Try another dive, and then come back up. And  this time, try creating a little more room around yourself. It helps to have some air in case you can’t come up for air freely.” 

Taking a few deep breaths she plays around with the jutsu, feeling how the snow shifts around her to allow more room within her little space. Once she is reasonably sure that there is at least some air there she dives again, unable to quite suppress the instinct to take a deep breath first. 

Hesitantly - every instinct she has telling her that she cannot breathe as long as she is submerged - she releases her breath and breathes in shallowly. When there is no snow penetrating her nose she takes another breath. It is claustrophobic, being submerged in the snow in her own little space with only a limited amount of air, but it works. 

It is with relief that she returns to the surface again, happily breathing in the fresh air. 

“Did it work?” Kakashi asks with a tone as if he already knows the answer. 

“Yeah. I wouldn’t want to stay down too long though.” 

“Wise of you,” he says, helping her up. “If nothing else, you’ll actually run out of oxygen after a while.” 

Moving above the snow again feels strange, even after she has ended the jutsu. Like walking on wobbly legs after she has been swimming, getting used to gravity again takes a few moments. 

The dogs return a while later, reporting that they have not found any scents suggesting there is a shrine anywhere. Kakashi-sensei doesn’t look particularly surprised, and suddenly she understands why he decided to teach her that particular jutsu. 

“We’ll split up then,” he says. “Pakkun, Bull, Urushi, Guruko, you’re with Sakura. You’ll search the south and western parts of the mountain base, while I and the others take the north and eastern parts.” 

They nod their understanding and Sakura hefts her backpack up on her back, unwilling to leave it behind. Pakkun and the others have already split into their own little group, waiting for her. 

“And Sakura?” 

She pauses, looking back at Kakashi. 

“Pakkun’s in charge. You’ll do the searching, but refer to him if you find something. Understood?” 

“Yes sensei.” A warm blush creeps up her face. Being put under the command of a pug is a new low, even for her shinobi career. Even if it is a talking pug. 

“Good. If neither of us find anything we’ll meet back here.” 

And so they split up, Kakashi and four of the dogs quickly disappearing in the distance. Sakura makes slower progress across the snow. Pakkun is now riding on Bull and the dogs lead her towards what they have deemed a suitable starting point for their search. 

Like the body replacement technique and the other Academy techniques, this new jutsu doesn’t actually require that much chakra. Even so, as the day goes on and the hours pass by, there is a significant decrease in her reserves. 

By the time Akino arrives to tell her that Kakashi has found the shrine she is grateful not to have to dive anymore. 

Akino leads her and the others to a clearing in the forest, just at the base of the mountain. A frozen solid waterfall indicates that there might be a river running through it in the summer and Sakura has a hard time tearing her gaze away from the solid wall of ice before her. 

“What do we do now?” she asks distractedly. 

She barely catches the snow shovel he throws at her, almost getting hit in the head with the shaft. 

“Now we shovel snow.” 

In Konoha, the very few snowfalls the village sees are light and easily swept aside. Usually the snow will disappear the same day it falls, so Sakura really has very little experience with snow before this trip. She quickly learns, however, that snow shovelling is one of her least favourite activities. Dull, repetitive and heavy, it is everything she dislikes, and she soon finds that she might just prefer her jogs along the village wall if she were to get a choice. 

They work throughout the whole afternoon, Kakashi, her and even the dogs. By the time the sun starts to set they have created a wide tunnel for themselves, reaching into the main hall of the shrine. Because of the roof and the walls, the shrine itself actually has very little snow in it, though smaller snow banks have amassed where holes in the walls have let it in. 

Though obviously old, the shrine is actually in surprisingly good condition, Sakura reflects as they explore the building. The walls and ceiling are made out of wood, with stone floors and pillars supporting everything. The wide opening of the tunnel allows some of the remaining daylight to reach all the way into the shrine, but Kakashi and her both reach for their flashlights anyway, as the deeper parts of the shrine are still cast in shadows. 

There is a purification through at the entrance to the main hall, the water in it long frozen solid. Instead, Sakura splashes some of her drinking water over her hands, hoping that the deity inside will forgive her considering their circumstances. 

Kakashi-sensei doesn’t bother purifying himself, and when he steps further into the shrine it is with the posture of a soldier expecting an ambush. 

“It wouldn’t surprise me if my ancestors had rigged some sort of trap,” he explains, shooting her a look. 

Lingering by the entrance, she allows Kakashi-sensei to secure the room before following him further into the shrine, towards the offering hall, which is just as empty and seemingly void of dangers as the rest of the shrine. 

The part of her that has been raised to be polite and respect the rules winces as Kakashi steps over the shimenawa separating the innermost chamber from the rest of the temple. To her relief he is back soon again, shaking his head. 

“All clear,” he announces.

Sakura breathes a sigh of relief, and takes the time to study the room more closely. There are two statues; one of a life-size woman, and one of a large wolf standing by her side. Both are carved with great detail, to the point where every strand of hair on the wolf seems real. Each of them has a small altar before them, with offerings of food, dried flowers, incense and even a couple of coins of various currencies. 

Everything is covered in a fine layer of dust, suggesting that it’s been a while since anyone was here to offer these deities any offerings. Sakura offers them both a brief bow out of respect, before continuing her study of the room. 

Unlike the more plain main hall, this room has paintings covering both the walls and the ceiling. The pillars are red, but the painting on the wall depicts forested scenes with a large mountain in the background, as well as various forest animals. The largest of the depicted animals is a bear, which to Sakura’s surprise also has a small offering before it, despite the lack of an altar. Curious, she steps closer, wincing a little once she realises that the offering is the remains of some sort of small animal, like a rabbit. 

“Like I said, my ancestors weren’t the nicest of people,” Kakashi-sensei mutters quietly, almost making Sakura jump in surprise. 

For a moment, she’d almost forgotten he was there.  

That evening, they cut thin branches of spruce and spread it across the stone floor of the temple’s main hall, before spreading their bedrolls there. Kakashi-sensei cooks dinner over the portable gas stove, and then he orders her to get some sleep. 

Later that night, when she has taken over the watch from Kakashi and sits with Pakkun in her lap, she hears wolves howling in the distance. Given what Kakashi has told her about his clan and the suspicion he has displayed in the shrine, it doesn’t sit well with her, and a shiver runs down her spine.  

“Don’t worry,” Pakkun tells her. “They’re far away.” 

“Well, if they’re half as fast as you guys that’s no real comfort.” 

Pakkun does what she assumes is the pug equivalent of scoffing at her. 

“They’re probably faster than us. Don’t worry though, we’ll be able to smell them if they decide to approach.” 

The howling increases in volume, more voices joining in, and she shudders. 

“I hope they don’t know we’re here.” 

“Oh they know,” Pakkun says. “Wolves can smell prey from several kilometres away. More, if the wind is blowing in the right direction, and we had tailwinds for some of the time when we crossed the ice.” 

“That’s not really comforting, you know!” she tells him, hugging him closer to her chest. 

He doesn’t object to the closeness, even nuzzling her chin a little. 

“I’ll let you touch my paw if it makes you feel better.”

In the morning Sakura and Pakkun tell Kakashi about the wolves. He frowns and spends the whole morning constructing traps around the entrance to the shrine. By the time he’s done it’s almost lunchtime and the dogs have brought her a hare that she has skinned and started cooking. 

“Remind me to show you how to cook better in field conditions,” Kakashi says with a grimace when they have sat down and started eating. 

“At least I didn’t set anything on fire.” 

Kakashi-sensei gestures with his chopsticks, wordlessly giving her that point. 

“I don’t think it’d be possible to set anything around here on fire even if you tried, kiddo,” Pakkun grumbles. 

Which, to be fair, is probably true. And honestly, being able to produce perfectly bland and boring food is probably not that much of an achievement anyway. 

After the meal, Kakashi-sensei faces the offering hall with the posture of someone going off to war. Or at least, what Sakura imagines as such. At any rate, he looks far from happy. 

“I’m going to go in there and meditate,” he tells her quietly. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take. Please don’t disturb me unless it’s important. Pakkun is in charge. And don’t go outside the traps.” 

This time she doesn’t follow him into the offering hall. 

The day drags on, hour upon hour slowly passing by. After a week of travelling and a month of intense training before that, inactivity feels strange and the walls of the shrine almost claustrophobic. Especially knowing that there is so much snow above her head, just weighing down on the innocent looking roof above her head. She tries to ignore the uncomfortable feeling, but without anything to do it isn’t easy. 

Eventually she settles down against a wall, sharpening her weapons and mending a small hole in her new fur-lined clothes. Occasionally she gets up to peek into the offering hall. Kakashi-sensei sits with his back against her, facing the imposing wolf statue and the goddess, and he doesn’t make a sound. 

With nothing more to busy her hands with she takes to pacing the main hall, eventually switching to practising katas. Luckily there is enough room to move around in the main hall. The dogs watch her curiously, Pakkun eventually deciding that he needs to correct her whenever she’s slightly out of form. 

Bored with katas she then switches to sit ups, push ups and squats, gratified to notice that she is indeed stronger than she was just a month ago. The dogs urge her on, which helps make it a decent work out. She finishes with meditation, practising circulating her chakra. To her surprise she does not only sense the dogs and Kakashi-sensei in the offering hall, but there is also an answering thrum all around her. Deeper, heavier yet less intrusive than even a mouse. The snow, she realises, longing to explore what this new connection to her chakra nature might do to her meditation. Only the memory of Kakashi-sensei’s strict warnings of not experimenting on her own keeps her from exploring. 

Dinner time comes and goes. Sakura waits for Kakashi to emerge from the offering hall but eventually her growling stomach forces her to get cooking herself. She settles for heating up the leftovers of the hare and rice they had for lunch. Even with the scent of food cooking filling the shrine, Kakashi doesn’t emerge. 

“You go to bed,” Pakkun tells her later in the evening when she has been trying to suppress her yawns for a while. “We’ll keep watch.” 

Gratefully accepting the offer, she crawls into her bedroll, casting a worried look towards the offering hall. Kakashi still hasn’t emerged. 

Used as she is to only sleeping half nights for the last week, it is still early by the time she wakes up. Clumsy in the darkness she lights a lantern, only to see that Kakashi still hasn’t emerged from the offering hall. 

She's melting snow for water when Kakashi emerges at last, looking tired and annoyed. 

"We're leaving in a couple of hours," he tells her, accepting the water she offers him. "I just need to sleep for a few hours first." 

"Ok. Do you want to eat? I saved you some from dinner." 

"Later," he waves her off. 

Both she and the dogs spend the morning attempting to be quiet, mostly meditating and, in Sakura’s case, attempting to get some more sleep in. She waits for the sun to rise, but as the hours pass by it never really seems to do so. Though some daylight emerges the sky remains bleak, darkening even more as snow begins to fall. 

“Looks like we’re not going anywhere,” Kakashi sighs once he wakes up. “Blizzards are no joke.” 

The wind picks up more and more, making it hard to breathe from the force of them whenever they dare stick their heads out of the snow. Resignedly Sakura settles in for another day spent within the walls of the shrine. 

Kakashi and her do more sit ups, push ups and squats; Kakashi even takes the opportunity to show her some more exercises that will exercise other muscles and help her balance and agility. Afterwards, when they settle down for some relaxing meditation, she mentions the thrumming of the snow she had noticed the day before. 

“I’m not entirely surprised,” he tells her. “With practice, you’ll probably be able to learn better control of your element by meditating with it. Though now is not the right time to practise. It’s probably best to save that until we’re in a wide, open space somewhere where we don’t risk being buried alive if you make a mistake.” 

The evening comes and the blizzard still hasn’t calmed down, the winds screaming angrily outside. Occasionally Kakashi-sensei will check the opening to the tunnel, ensuring that there remains enough of an opening to let air in. With the entirety of the temple, they’ve got a decent air pocket, but there’s no reason yet to test how long the air within will last the both of them and the dogs without a steady supply of fresh air. 

With no fresh meat remaining, they cook rice to get something warm to fill their stomachs and compliment it with a protein bar. As far as dinners go, she’s had better. Then again, it’s far better than no dinner. 

The dream is unnaturally clear; more vivid than even the worst of his nightmares have the right to be. He’s standing outside, the blizzard roaring around him as he faces the mountain looming high above him. From the snowy cliffs a dark figure looks down upon him, eyes gleaming in the darkness like hot coals. 

“I’m waiting,” the creature speaks, with a voice so strong and untamed that it seems to echo in his very bones. “How long do you intend to keep me waiting?” 

Shadows, smaller than the first figure but with the same, gleaming eyes, appear upon the cliffs above him. They snarl at him, showcasing razor sharp teeth and strong jaws. Kakashi takes a step backwards, instinctively knowing that whatever this is he does not want to face it. 

“You can’t hide from your destiny forever,” the voice continues. “One way or another, I’ll get to you.” 

The shadows start growling, hunching as if preparing to leap. Kakashi doesn’t wait to see if they’ll actually leap. In a moment he has turned his back on them, running for all that he is worth through the forest even as branches slap across his face and body, tugging at him like the hands of numerous enemies. Behind him the shadows howl, and then they’re running, snarling in excitement as they slowly catch up with him. 

“You’ve come this far. It is too late for you to turn back now.” 

He’s stumbling through snow, jaws snapping after his feet with every step and then his feet catch on something and he’s falling, falling into the cold snow and still he’s falling …

His eyes fly open and he sits straight up in his bedroll, gasping for breath and for a moment struggling to orient himself. It is late. Beneath the snow, there is very little daylight to begin with and this late into the night it is pitch dark. His hands tremble as he reaches for the lantern, lightening it in a moment. 

Sakura is there, asleep in her bedroll. Bull, Shiba and Bisuke are keeping watch over by the entrance, giving him quiet but curious glances. A cold nose nudges his hand and when he looks down he meets Pakkun’s worried eyes. 

“Boss?” 

Pakkun’s voice is quiet but tense. Kakashi takes a deep breath, forcing himself to relax as he breathes out. 

“Just a nightmare,” he says, petting the pug. “Sorry I startled you.” 

The last part is aimed at all of the dogs, as they’re all watching him worriedly. Even Urushi, Akino, Uhei and Guruko, though they don’t move from where they are protectively curled around Sakura. 

“Sorry to break it to you Boss, but that was no dream,” Pakkun says. 

“Yeah, that was something else entirely,” Shiba agrees, a shiver running through him. 

Kakashi wants to groan because he believes them . He’s been meditating for hours and hours in this damn temple, and the whole time the feeling that he’s not there yet has plagued him, only growing stronger as he has tried to ignore it. Some primal instinct, or more likely whatever demon or deity that rules this place, urging him to continue to move on, to brave the mountain. It’s madness, but he can’t shake it. 

“I’m not trying to climb that mountain in the middle of a blizzard!” he says, his voice quiet but firm. 

“I’m not sure that’s going to matter, Boss,” Pakkun says with a shudder. “Whatever it is, it seems determined to not let us escape without confrontation.” 

Before Kakashi can figure out an answer to that, the howls of wolves reach his ears. He sits straighter as he looks towards the entrance and the dogs there. 

“They’re getting closer,” Shiba confirms, his tone grim. 

“How far away are they?” 

Shiba shakes his head. 

“Still some bit away. But they’ve placed themselves between us and the ocean. If we want to escape we’ll have to get past them.” 

“Somehow I don’t think they’ll let us pass without a fight,” Pakkun comments. 

Cold dread spreads in his belly and Kakashi gets up, walking over to the entrance to listen more carefully himself. A sniff in the wind reveals that Shiba is right. 

“Seems like we’re caught in a trap,” he states. 

“Any ideas on how we get out of it, Boss?” Pakkun asks. 

Glancing back towards the offering chamber and the statues there, Kakashi hesitates. He knows what he’s supposed to do, even if every fibre of his being insists that it’s a bad idea. 

“For now, we’ll wait,” he states. “Keep an eye out on them and the storm. Perhaps we’ll get a chance to sneak by.” 

He doesn’t sleep any more that night, and by the time the first rays of daylight make their way down the tunnel it becomes clear that the blizzard isn’t going anywhere. 

The day passes in agonising slowness. He tries to rid himself of the nervous energy through training, but the limited space of the shrine isn’t exactly ideal for such exercises. So he exercises and paces and grows more and more short tempered as the feeling of helplessness grows. 

Whether she senses the tension of the situation or is just picking up on his mood, Sakura grows tense too. He watches her sharpening her weapons with a grim expression on her face. Neither him nor the dogs have told her about the wolves coming closer yet, so he’s not sure what she expects to fight. Maybe she just needs to keep herself busy. Kakashi himself is close to climbing the walls already. 

Her sleep is worried, he notices that night when she has crawled into her bedroll. Worried is still better than his own sleep, which is nonexistent. He continues to pace the room, occasionally wandering back into the offering chamber to glare at the statues there. 

He thinks about heading out there himself and just fight the wolves. Over the years he has faced far worse obstacles than wolves or a blizzard, so in theory it should be relatively simple. However, something inside him baulks at the idea. Maybe if it was only him, he thinks, he could unsummon the dogs and face whatever is waiting outside. 

But he’s not alone. 

He looks down on Sakura, twisting and turning in her sleep. 

It’s almost ironic. On that first supposed C-rank with team 7, when he’d been in Wave with Naruto and Sasuke, the situation was much the same. Facing Zabuza and Haku on his own he might have been able to go all out against them, but because Naruto and Sasuke had been there he’d also had to focus on protecting them. He’d ended up straining himself too far, even ending up unconscious and helpless for a dangerous chunk of time. 

Both Naruto and Sasuke had come dangerously close to dying, surviving mostly on sheer luck and the mercy of their opponent. 

He cannot afford to make that mistake again. 

Whatever awaits him outside, it won’t show the same hesitance to kill that Haku did. 

And Sakura … Sakura only has him. She doesn’t have another teammate to rely on. 

Damnit, he should have left her behind in that inn! Or somehow convinced Tsunade to let him leave her in Konoha after all, or … 

Well, it’s too late now. 

Far, far too late. 

“Pakkun,” he says grimly towards the wee hours of the night. 

“Yeah, Boss?” 

“You and the others stay here with Sakura. If the wolves come closer, do whatever necessary to protect her.” 

“Are you sure?” 

He knows Pakkun isn’t referring to his request for them to protect Sakura. Decisively he stands, reaching for his backpack and unpacking everything that isn’t strictly necessary. 

“This is madness,” he says as he works, “but I am sure. Whatever is waiting outside, it won’t let us leave before I’ve faced it.” 

“We’ll protect the pup,” Pakkun promises, nuzzling Kakashi’s side. “Just be careful Boss.” 

Only keeping his bedroll and some of the ration bars in his backpack he straps it closed and throws it over his shoulders. A quick check reveals that everything else - his weapon’s pouch and kunai holster - are still in place and contain all of his usual equipment. 

“If I’m not back in four days, take her back to Konoha,” he instructs the dogs. 

They whine worriedly but he knows that they’ll obey his orders. He has trained them himself. 

With a final round of pats to their heads, he heads out into the storm. 

The tunnel is relatively protected from the wind so he braces himself for the first unrestricted blast of the storm as he exits it. Even so it almost knocks him over, forcing him to slant his body into the wind and use chakra to keep his footing on the porous snow. 

The wind is sharp, icy daggers digging into him despite the multiple layers of clothing he’s wearing as he slowly turns towards the mountain. In the blizzard he can’t actually see it, but he has the area memorised well enough to know the general direction he has to go in. 

Forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other he starts to count his steps, simply to have some way of measuring his progress. He can barely see anything at all before him. Trees seem to appear out of nothing and he wonders how he’ll be able to find his way wherever it is he has to go, when he can barely avoid the trees. 

Somehow it seems he’s moving directly into the wind. Given his dream and the Something challenging him through the storm - You can’t hide from your destiny forever. One way or another, I’ll get to you - it doesn’t seem like a coincidence. 

Very soon he realises that the clothes he’s wearing are not nearly enough to keep him warm and he’s forced to circulate his chakra through his body, mindful of the same warning he had given Sakura just days earlier. With every breath painfully cold and his limbs stinging from the sharp winds it is tempting to raise his own temperature just a little, but he knows that he doesn’t have the control to keep himself within healthy parameters. She might, given some time and training, but he doesn’t. 

Beneath his feet the ground is rising steadily. Between that and the never ending wind he’s leaning far forward into the wind.

His progress is slow. From his earlier explorations of the area he can estimate roughly where he is. On a day without a storm it might have taken him minutes to get as far as he has. He’s not sure how long he’s been fighting the winds and the cold. An hour, his inner clock suggests, maybe more. Though it is not easy to know for sure under these circumstances. 

A sudden gust has him on his knees, fighting not to topple over. He grits his teeth, getting up and stumbling forward. Straight into a tree. Stumbling backwards he is just barely able to prevent himself from falling on his behind like a child. That would be just perfect, he thinks angrily to himself. Falling on his ass and then being unable to get up, ending up buried in the snow and slowly freezing to death. 

There have been a number of times when he has been close to death, but he has never imagined himself dying like this. 

Trying to distract himself from the cold and the winds he recites the shinobi rules to himself. First in the correct order, then backwards, then ordering them alphabetically. When he runs out of shinobi rules he names the rulers of the various hidden villages. Starting with Konoha, that's easy; Senju Hashirama, the God of Shinobi. Senju Tobirama, the brother of the first Hokage. Sarutobi Hiruzen, also known as the God of Shinobi and the teacher of the Legendary Sannin. Namikaze Minato, the Yellow Flash. Kakashi’s heart clenches at the thought, memories of the man himself flashing before his eyes. He pushes them aside again, forcing himself to focus on the tasks at hand. One foot in front of the other, and the current Hokage Senju Tsunade, hailed as the world’s strongest kunoichi and the greatest medical nin. 

He moves on to the other kage, or those that he knows at least. 

According to his internal clock it is still a good while until dawn. There’s no guarantee that dawn will bring any rest for him, but he clings to that hope regardless. 

Between the darkness and the blizzard he’s just about blind, and he’s lost all sense of direction. The snow beneath his feet still seems to be leading uphill, but that’s about it. He reaches out with his chakra, trying to orient himself, and stumbles. His chakra reserves have grown dangerously low without him noticing. Keeping himself warm like this shouldn’t require this much chakra but evidently this storm is unlike anything he has ever faced before. 

Cursing himself and his sharingan, which is always eating up most of his chakra at any given time, he stops the circulation and focuses instead on keeping himself walking on top of the snow. If he had been able to prepare more he might have thought to bring snowshoes, saving himself some more chakra. As it is, he doesn’t have much of a choice but to continue, and hope that his chakra will last until he reaches wherever it is that he’s going. 

Grimly he continues to press forward, ignoring the increasing bite of the cold. Slowly his feet start to grow numb, and afraid of causing permanent damage to himself he decides to risk using some chakra to keep them warm. They sting as the blood in them slowly starts flowing again, but he knows that it is a good kind of sting. The kind of sting that tells him that he’s still alive. 

In this weather numbness equals death. 

Pain equals life. 

It takes him a couple of minutes to realise that the wind is dropping. Halting, he eventually looks up, seeing that gently drifting snowflakes is all that remains of the blizzard. Wearily turning around, taking stock of his surroundings, he spots his own tracks in the snow. They form an eerily straight line back the way he came, as far as he can see. He’s far beyond the base of the mountain now, so the shrine is no longer visible. The trees look more like a lawn than a forest far below him. 

A cold shiver runs up his spine. Given the circumstances - the wind and the snow and his exhaustion - his tracks should be swinging back and forth all over the place. Yet he doesn’t think he could have managed a more straight line if he had tried . 

Something else is definitely at play here, he thinks with unease. 

Above him the clouds are breaking, revealing the full moon above, even though his internal clock suggests it should be daytime by now. Its silvery light casts long shadows as he continues to move, knowing that at this point stopping will mean death. The night is eerily silent, not even the wolves howling in the distance. The only sound is that of the snow shifting beneath his feet. 

Suddenly there is a voice, not echoing over the snow but one he hears in his mind , that brings him to his knees with its terrible power. It is filled with the overwhelming noise of nature; boulders tumbling over the rocks, rushing streams and waterfalls and above it all a song, a howl of multiple voices far, far older than him. Bringing his hands to his ears does him no good, and he winces as it forms words. 

“So you have decided to face me at last, pup.” 

Kakashi cannot reply, hands pressed tightly against his ears in a fruitless attempt to make the voice hurt less. 

“Look to your right.” 

Obeying, if only because the pain is too intense to do anything else, he sees a line of light. The light from the full moon above him makes the snow glister but this is something else, the snow glistening like diamonds in sunlight and forming a path before him over rocks and snow, going around the mountain. 

“I’m waiting for you.” 

Before Kakashi can gather enough wits or energy to retort, the voice is gone. Apprehensively Kakashi listens for a few moments, but the night is once again silent. 

With the cold slowly creeping into his body he forces himself to move, forces himself to stand on legs that are stiff and cold and trembling. Taking a breath he glances backwards, back the way he came, and then faces the glistening path before him.

He didn’t come here to find some demonic god, or whatever awaits him. He came to avoid a fight with his own blood relatives. 

At this point, he’s pretty sure that simply killing his aunt would have been preferable. How bad can a couple of years in prison be? 

But it’s not like that’s an option anymore. For better or worse he’s here, and whatever deity that rules this mountain - and Kakashi is pretty convinced it’s a deity, because there is absolutely nothing human about it so far - is clearly intent on a confrontation. 

Is this what his father had to go through? Kakashi starts walking again, mulling that question over. Is this where Sakumo found Kakashi’s mother? It has been so many years since he heard the story, and he suddenly wishes that he could sit by the fire with his father again, hearing him tell it. 

His chakra is running more than dangerously low now. Despite the cold he is forced to only use it to keep going, to keep himself somewhat on top of the snow. Between the exhaustion and the cold his control is far from good and he finds himself slipping, sinking through the snow until he’s knee-deep and has to pause to dig the snow out of his boots before he continues. 

Every step is a fight, his chakra control shifting and making the stability of the snow unpredictable. Sometimes he’s knee-deep, sometimes he just sinks down to his ankles. Either way, regardless of how much he tries to focus it seems he can’t gather enough control to keep himself from sinking down and he grits his teeth in frustration. He’s been able to walk on water and snow and whatever surface he likes since he was a child, damnit! 

He wants to scream but the fear of starting an avalanche keeps him quiet. With his luck it might not only bury him but also move on to bury the shrine, and Sakura and the dogs with it. So he clenches his jaws tightly around his anger and uses the anger to fuel his movement forward. 

Logically he knows that weariness, lack of sleep and agitated nerves is interfering with his judgement. To continue under these circumstances is foolish and something he would scold anyone else for. As it is, he sends another angry curse towards whatever power is forcing him through this, convinced that even a short break will lead to repercussions. 

Quietly, his voice hoarse and barely audible even to his own ears, he starts to recite the verses of a particularly lewd song sometimes sung among the ANBU. It’s about an agent returning from a violent mission only to find his wife in bed with another man, and though it comes in many versions the ANBU-agents favours one that is particularly full of gore and coarse language. He can’t imagine anyone actually enjoying it, much less a deity. 

His chakra flickers and withdraws itself to his core and he sinks down to his hip in snow. A curse escapes him and he glances backwards again. Going back will be very interesting with chakra exhaustion, if he survives whatever lies before him. 

Looking around again he realises that he is almost at the end of the glistening path. No more than twenty metres or so, which is easier said than traversed without chakra to help him. Silently praying that there are no unexpected hindrances hidden beneath the snow he starts to dig his way over. He winds up doing something akin to a crawl, shivering as snow makes its way past the lining of his clothes in the process. 

Panting he is at last able to enter the cave, which is mercifully spared of snow. Small at the entrance, it grows bigger on the inside, forming a large chamber with a tunnel on the other side. Moss grows on the walls, strangely bright and reflecting what little moonlight manages to make its way past the entrance, casting the cave into a silvery dusk. 

“I’m here,” he breathes, shaking to rid himself of the worst of the snow. “Show yourself!” 

“Then prepare for battle,” the same terrifying voice from before replies. 

By force of will Kakashi remains standing, eyeing the cave in anticipation. When no threat emerges immediately he pulls off the outer layers of his clothes. The air of the cave is cool but not cold and he has some idea that he’ll need whatever agility he’ll be able to muster. He’s out of chakra, which means that he won’t be able to use any of the numerous jutsu he knows, nor the Sharingan. 

This will be a physical fight. 

More Gai’s style than his, he thinks ruefully. 

Something is padding towards him through the tunnel. Several somethings, in fact. Moving to the centre of the cave he pulls out two kunai, preparing himself to fight. 

When the deity appears at last it does so in the shape of a wolf, far larger than any natural wolf and with perfectly white fur. Another wolf appears behind it, just slightly smaller and dark enough that at first it seems more like a shadow than another wolf. They pause just before the entrance of the tunnel, more forms appearing to form a half-circle around him. 

Kakashi swallows, hands clenching around his kunai. The white wolf male before him is tall enough to reach his shoulder easily, the black female by his side just a little bit smaller. The others, six of them in total, are just slightly smaller than the female still and in various shades of greys and browns. If he doubted their otherworldly origins, the shining silver claws and teeth clearly tells him that these are no ordinary wolves. 

His eyes lock with the yellow eyes of the male, strangely intelligent for a wolf. 

As if on an unspoken signal the smaller ones snarl and attack, forcing Kakashi to retreat to avoid simply being buried under them. Teeth snap at his arms and legs and he lashes out with his kunai, cutting and kicking to keep them at bay. His movements are wary at first, muscles sluggish and tired. The pack dances around him, jumping in and out of reach for his knives, forcing him to back away until he finds himself with the cave wall against his back. 

“I didn’t really come here to fight!” he growls, casting a glance towards the couple still remaining by the entrance to the tunnel. 

The male growls back, showing his teeth. When he speaks it once again does not come from his mouth, but rather directly into Kakashi’s mind. 

“Your reasons for coming don’t matter. You’ve come into my territory like so many before you, and like them you will either fight or perish!” 

The flood of adrenaline washes away the earlier exhaustion, making his arms and legs less unsteady as he kicks and blocks and cuts. He dips and swerves and twists, thankful for all the training he has had with Gai. Inching along the cave wall he manages to keep the wolves at bay, leaving furs dotted with blood in the wake of his knives. 

He’s not uninjured either; teeth skid over his arms and legs, impossibly sharp claws scraping through his clothes even as he manages to block the jaws. In the midst of the fighting one manages to slink low under his guard, jaws closing over his calf. His other knee buckles as the wolf pulls, shaking his leg like a rag in its mouth. 

Something between a growl and a cry escapes him and another wolf is over him in moments. Kakashi doesn’t have time to think and just drives both kunai with all his might into its body. They skid between the ribs, penetrating muscle and flesh and organs and the wolf yelps, then grow relaxed over him. 

The other wolf is still tugging at his leg so he doesn’t have time to celebrate his small victory, no time for recovery. Instead he sends one of his kunai flying with deadly accuracy, gratified when it hits true. The wolf cries out in pain and flies backwards, kunai still sticking out of its eye. 

The other wolves have backed away, somewhat weary now that one of them is dead and another one so gravely injured. They circle him and Kakashi draws closer to the cave wall again, using it to pull himself upright again. Once he’s standing again, supporting all of his weight on his uninjured leg, he pulls out another kunai, peering at the wolves. 

“My children won’t give up that easily.” 

He can’t allow himself to react to the voice, not unless he wants to give the wolves an opening while he covers his ears. Distantly he wonders what kind of creature is willing to sacrifice his own children in fight against him for some sort of unclear purpose, but he doesn’t have the time to dwell on that. 

There isn’t enough time for him to figure out much of a plan, to analyse his surroundings or his opponents in the way he would ordinarily want to approach a battle. Instead he sends his both kunai flying, following them up with a barricade of shuriken and then he’s moving in his best imitation of Gai’s super speed. Kicking, cutting, stabbing, dodging, ducking, blocking in a frenzy that even he is barely able to keep up with. The wolves snarl and growl and bite and whine. Ruthlessly he exposes whatever openings he gets, stabbing another wolf in the stomach, one in the thigh, cutting a throat. 

Five remaining turns into four, then three, then two. The one with a kunai in it’s eye and one with numerous cuts but no other serious injuries remain, and they’re doing their best to encircle him. Now caught further away from the wall, Kakashi struggles to keep his back free, turning his head back and forth to keep them both in sight. 

“Whatever you think, I’m not here to fight,” Kakashi reiterates, panting heavily. “Take your remaining children and leave me alone.” 

The younger wolves growl in response, crouching and preparing to leap. A chuckle interrupts them and Kakashi casts another look towards the male and female. They still haven’t moved from the tunnel opening but now the male takes a step forward, giving Kakashi a piercing look. 

“You are one to talk about children, considering that you’ve left your own pup exposed.” 

He inclines his head and the younger wolves immediately lose all interest in Kakashi, running instead for the cave opening. Kakashi’s stomach plummets and he moves faster than he knew he could, given his battered condition. 

“You’re not going after her!” he snarls, placing himself between the wolves and the cave opening. 

The younger ones stop, glancing hesitantly between Kakashi and the parents behind them. The white wolf takes another step forward. 

“You knew it was foolish to bring her here in the first place but you chose to do so anyway. She came with you, she meditated in my temple and like you, she will be tested.” 

“No!” Kakashi snarls, desperation hardening to steel within his chest. “I came here to protect her! You are not getting to her!” 

Desperation urging his actions, he uses the one weapon he hasn’t dared to use yet, and when he sends another barricade of kunai towards both the younger ones and the parents they carry scraps of inked paper with them. His hand forms the hand sign for snake and with a last effort he flares his chakra enough to detonate the explosive tags. 

“You would sacrifice yourself to protect a pup that is not even your own?” 

The voice sounds almost amused, and this time it doesn’t hurt as badly in his mind. That doesn’t matter however as the cave is now coming down all around him. 

At least the damn wolves die with him, is his last thought before the world grows black and cold around him.

Chapter Text

When she wakes up the blizzard is gone. 

Unfortunately, so is Kakashi-sensei. 

“What do you mean he’s gone?!” she demands from Pakkun. 

Pakkun, who sits surrounded by the other dogs, gives her large, innocent eyes. When he speaks his voice is flat and vaguely confused, as if he doesn’t understand her ire at all. 

“What I just said. He’s gone. Went out to climb the mountain.” 

“In a bloody blizzard?!” 

“Yup. Said he had no choice but to face it.” 

She’d thought Kakashi-sensei lacked people skills, what with him reading porn in public and all that, but compared to his dogs he’s apparently well adjusted! She wants to scream. She wants to cry . Some part of her wants to hit something, preferable Pakkun or even more preferable Kakashi himself. 

“Why?!” she asks at last, exasperated. 

Pakkun shrugs. 

“Don’t know. Sometimes a man’s just got to do what a man’s got to do.” 

The other dogs nod sagely, as if Pakkun has just offered up a piece of great wisdom. Sakura sighs, resisting the urge to take the sudden terror that flushes through her out on them. 

“He said he’d be back in four days,” Shiba pipes up. 

“No, idiot !” Urushi says, glaring at Shiba. “He said if he wasn’t back in four days to take her back to Konoha.” 

“Which means that he expects to be back in four days,” Shiba argues, giving Urushi a pointed look. 

Sakura can only stare at the dogs as they argue, her heart having stopped for a moment in her chest and her whole body running cold. 

“That’s not at all what it means! It means that he isn’t sure that he’ll be back at all and for us not to wait for him!” 

“Well, I was trying to be discreet about that!” Shiba says, pointedly tilting his head in her direction. 

“Well you weren’t! You were just feeding her false information, is what you were doing!” 

Bringing her hands up to rub at her eyes, Sakura turns away from the arguing dogs, returning to pacing the main hall of the temple. 

“Perfect,” she mutters to herself. “Just bloody perfect. Fucking dogs are trying to take care of me!” 

“Hey!” both Urushi and Shiba exclaim in unison, glaring at her. 

She ignores them, trying instead to focus on calming her frantically beating heart. This isn’t the first time her sensei has left her while he goes on to face danger, she tries to reassure herself. Except this is nothing like being left in the village while he goes on a mission. She’s alone in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of arguing dogs being in charge. 

“Ignore them,” Pakkun advises her. “That’s usually for the best. And hey, look at the bright side; the wolves are gone.” 

That at least is a small comfort, she has to admit. The last thing she needs on top of everything else is to have to fight off wolves with only these insane dogs for help. 

“Don’t worry,” Pakkun tells her. “Boss left us to protect you, and we’re pretty good at what we do.” 

“So’s he!” Shiba says. 

“Yeah, exactly!” 

Mildly comforted, she settles down to get breakfast going. She still has plenty of rice so breakfast turns into rice and a protein bar, with her making a mental note to ask the dogs to bring her something with meat to cook for lunch. 

Once breakfast is over she decides to take advantage of the lack of blizzards outside, cautiously emerging from the tunnel into the sunshine. 

“Be careful of the Boss’s traps,” Urushi says, hurrying past her. 

They spread out, easily avoiding the traps and stretching their legs. Sakura herself doesn’t dare go very far. Though sensei had shown her where the traps were, the landscape looks entirely different now than it did before the blizzard and she’s not confident in her ability to avoid them. 

The day is mild and sunny, despite the still relatively early morning. To better enjoy the sun she digs herself a bench in a nearby snowdrift. It’s quite cosy, once she pads it with her bedroll. She spends mid-morning enjoying the sunshine, a cup of hot tea in hand as she listens to the peaceful forest and the arguing dogs. 

It is also an excellent spot for keeping an eye out for Kakashi-sensei. 

An hour or so before lunch a tremor in the ground, almost like a small earthquake, startles her. 

“Oh oh,” she hears Pakkun say, even as she turns to worriedly look up the mountain. “That can’t be -” 

Eight simultaneous poofs have her tearing her attention away from the mountain. The dogs are gone. All eight of them?! she shrieks mentally, wildly looking around for them. 

It takes her a moment to realise that the ground is shaking beneath her again, a sound as if from distant thunder growing stronger and closer. Panicked she looks around, breath stopping as she spots the absolutely humongous mass of snow coming her way. 

So that’s what an avalanche looks like, some part of her notes. 

RUN! another part screams. 

Survival wins out and before she knows it she’s running, pushing as much chakra into her legs as she can. It still isn’t enough to outrun the avalanche and it is quickly gaining in on her. Terrified she takes to the trees but a glance behind her shows the snow taking the trees with it as it moves on towards her.

Stupid, useless non-Konoha trees, she grumbles to herself. These tiny little trees are just inferior! 

Then the snow is over her and she’s thumbling, thrashing around in a desperate attempt to keep herself above the snow and only being mildly successful. Despite her efforts she’s slowly being buried alive. A thick tree branch to her back has her gasping for breath and then she’s breathing in snow, curling in on herself in an attempt to avoid further injuries. 

The whole thing is over in a few moments. 

Caught in the snow as she is she can barely move, barely breathe even as she coughs and tries to rid her lungs of snow. Her throat burns, there is snow leaking into her clothes and she can’t move ! Thrashing she only manages to make the small little space she has cave in on itself. 

She needs to get out. 

She can’t breathe! 

She can’t move, she can’t - 

She can’t, can’t, can’t-can’t-can’t..! 

Dizzy with terror and lack of oxygen she at last manages to clear some space for herself, which gives her room to take a few deep breaths and calm down a little.

There’s a lot of things she can’t do, but focusing on that won’t save her now. Kakashi-sensei isn’t here, the dogs aren’t here, no one knows where she is and even if they did Konoha is still a week’s journey away. 

A sob escapes her and she angrily brings her hand up to rub the tears away. All of that training and she hasn’t learned one useful thing! Sasuke could just use a fire jutsu or the chidori to break himself free of the snowy confines, Naruto could probably break out using his shadow clones and even he has the rasengan as well. All she has are the stupid Academy taught jutsu and …

A wet laugh escapes her and she brings her hands together, running through the signs, and her chakra eagerly responds. The result is immediate.

She can move! 

As quickly as she possibly can, she swims to the surface, uncaring whether the swimming movements are actually necessary or not. She gasps for air as she finally breaks the surface. With a glance around, she locates a tree that has survived the avalanche, and climbs it eagerly. 

Once she’s safely above the snow, as near the top as she dares at these little trees, she surveys the chaos left in the wake of the avalanche. The tunnel to the shrine is gone, as is most of the forest that surrounded it. All of her things are gone, just like the dogs and Kakashi but she’s alive and not buried in the snow ! Knees too weak to hold her upright any longer, she sinks down on the branch, shakily holding herself close to the trunk. 

Note to self: don’t panic next time, she thinks to herself. 

Now what? 

Her academy lessons have prepared her poorly for this, she realises. She's good at following orders but what good does that do her when there are no orders to follow? Or a superior to give orders, for that matter. When in doubt, consult your closest commanding officer, she remembers Iruka-sensei saying. If he or she is not available, consult their commander, and so on. If there is no commander around, consult the one with the most experience. 

Yeah, there should definitely be a class or two on what to do when you yourself are the one with the most experience, she thinks sourly. Or even when you’re on your own. She’ll be sure to tell Iruka-sensei as much when she gets back to Konoha. 

If she ever gets back to Konoha. 

Which is, frankly, looking less and less likely by the minute. 

Well, first thing first, she decides. Finding her supplies will have to be top priority. 

She can’t stay in the tree forever, after all. Even if just the thought of diving into the snow again is enough to make a shiver run down her spine. 

Using the snow-swimming jutsu she’s eventually able to locate the shrine again. Surprisingly it is still intact beneath the snow. Surveying it, she quickly realises that she's not spending another night there. 

Nope! 

Not a chance! 

She’s not doing it! 

There’s way too much snow on top of her for her liking!

So she packs her things and the things Kakashi-sensei left behind and takes it all outside. With her backpack not big enough to carry it all she has to go twice, and the weight of the snow seems to weigh more heavily on her each time. 

That's probably something she should deal with at some point. Sooner rather than later, most likely. Right now though she has to get the tent set up, and try to find her bedroll, and she should definitely try to hunt down something to eat … 

The bedroll proves to be impossible to find, at least without diving through a lot more snow than she is currently comfortable with. Luckily she does have an extra blanket that was not swallowed by the snow. It will have to do. She cuts herself plenty of spruce to have on the floor of the tent, to create as much insulation between her and the snow as possible. 

Camp made, she sets out to find herself some food, and eventually manages to catch herself a squirrel. Not the most appetising thing she has eaten, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Meat is meat, and all that. 

It is as she's cooking the squirrel, waiting for it to fry in her portable kitchen, that the reality of her situation once more hits her. She's alone. 

Should she wait for Kakashi-sensei to return, risking dying of cold, or running out of gas in the stove or other essentials? 

Or should she try to head back to Konoha, hoping that she is able to make it all the way back? Or at least back to the lowlands, where she might be able to plead with the samurai for help? 

Either way it is an uncomfortably high likelihood that she will die from hypothermia or the next obstacle mother nature decides to throw at her. 

Terrified and lost she crawls into a ball and cries, all tension and emotion pouring out of her. She only stops when it becomes evident that the squirrel is about to become more burnt charcoal than dinner if she doesn't deal with it soon. 

Warm food in her stomach helps her calm down again and she thinks back to what Pakkun and the others told her. Four days, she thinks. That's how long Kakashi-sensei told them to wait for him. 

She'll do the same, she decides. Just three more days remaining. 

She’s not at all certain that she really will abandon Kakashi-sensei if he doesn’t return in three days, but for now the decision gives a nice sense of direction. 

Her tent is buried deep into a snowbank, a snug little cave protecting both her and it from the worst of the cold and serving to keep what little warmth she is able to emulate in. It’s nothing fancy or warm, but it is less cold than the outside so she gratefully crawls under her blanket that evening with the hopes that tomorrow will be better. She misses the dogs and their warming forms around her dearly, and she falls asleep fantasising about warm fires and being back in Konoha. 

Despite the exhausting challenges of the day her sleep is uneasy and she wakes several times throughout the night. Around dawn she becomes aware that she is awake, though she’s not sure for how long she’s been so. She’s tense, listening intently though she’s not quite sure for what. 

Something or someone is outside, she realises with rising dread. It might be Kakashi-sensei, she tries to comfort herself. Except that it could just as easily be the wolves that have returned. 

Careful not to make any noise she pulls off her blanket, coming to a crouch and withdrawing a kunai. She wants to call out, to tell Kakashi to make a noise if it’s him, but if it’s not him then doing so will only alert the danger outside to her presence and awareness. 

Sharp, silvery claws cut through her tent, revealing a large paw. She doesn’t have the time to hesitate, just stabs it with all her might, drawing blood. The force of the paw being retracted pulls her forward, tumbling through the now broken tent wall and out into the snow. Somewhere she loses her grip of the kunai but she doesn’t even notice, too busy processing that that’s not a wolf roar! and that’s not a wolf at all! 

Scrambling backwards, away from the tent and the large figure before her, she struggles to get to her feet. Her mind draws completely blank except for the perfectly irrelevant thought that bears are supposed to hibernate in winter! 

Unnatural, red eyes focus on her and then he’s rushing forward, absolutely ignoring that his species shouldn’t even be awake this time of the year or doesn’t grow as big as he is to begin with. 

One swift jump has her high in a tree, looking down at him in terror as he turns his eyes on her again. He’s far larger than what he ought to be, or at least what she thinks he ought to be, easily reaching past her shoulder even standing on all fours as he is. Now he stands on his hind legs, reaching for her in the tree and when he doesn’t reach he starts to climb. 

She wants to curse but doesn’t have the vocal reserves for it at the moment, all of her mental capacity focused on screaming DON’T PANIC! Clumsily she jumps to another tree and then another as he starts to follow her. 

The small part of her that might just not be quite panicking notes with gratitude that he’s slower and more clumsy than her at least. While he seems intent on her and is capable of climbing whatever tree she’s in he doesn’t seem able to jump between them like her, forcing him to get down on the ground and lumber towards the next one. 

As long as she stays in the trees and doesn't stay still for too long she should be fine, she thinks desperately. The question is whether she’ll be able to outlast him in stubbornness or whether he’ll keep chasing her until she makes a mistake. 

Frantically trying to come up with some kind of plan she continues to jump from tree to tree, forcing him to follow her. Distractedly she tries to make sure that there are always trees around her, that she doesn’t back herself into a corner where there are no more trees to jump to. 

His frustrated roar is loud, echoing between the trees and against the mountain. Worriedly she glances towards it, afraid that he might start another avalanche. The mountain seems perfectly calm though, and she’s not sure whether she should be grateful for the fact or not. An avalanche might come in handy just about now, if it weren’t for the fact that she and her things would be swept away as well. 

Desperate to get some sort of further edge she allows him to reach the tree she’s in before she launches a barrage of shuriken at him. With unnatural reflexes he sweeps them aside with his paw, the same one that’s still bleeding prominently from her earlier stabbing. 

Jumping away again she follows her shuriken up with a set of kunai, both with explosive tags attached to the handles. As if he’s able to tell this he swats them away as well, and they detonate harmlessly in the snow some distance away. 

That can’t be natural, she deduces. It’s almost as if he knows what she’s doing, knows how to defend himself against her attacks. 

Well, she’ll just have to get more creative then. 

The clone technique comes to her easily and she only needs the Ram and Snake signs before there are two more of her. She and her clones take off to different trees, leaping from tree to tree. Confused, the bear tries to follow all of her with its gaze, and she takes the opportunity to launch another set of kunai with explosive tags on it. Her clones do the same and for a moment it looks like she’ll succeed in her attack. Then in the last moment he jumps away and once more the tags detonate harmlessly in the snow. 

Worse is that the movement has brought him downwind from her and now he lifts his head, nose sniffing in the air as those impossibly intelligent eyes lock on her. Fuck, she thinks as she jumps again, trying to outrun it this time. However he proves to be surprisingly fast, moving with ease despite the snow. 

Now what? If she can’t trick him with clones, and if her attacks aren’t working ..? 

It reminds her of her fight with Tenten and she wishes that her current fear was only due to a kanabo. If nothing else she would have had easy access to the hospital back then. Out here in the wilderness there is no hospital or even a medic for her to rely on. Not even a teammate. 

She continues to run, glad for her morning runs when the effort itself is well within her stamina. Part of her is still panicking, though the panic is slowly being washed away by the adrenaline and her continued success at keeping her distance. 

There is no time for her to set a trap, much less one large enough to possibly affect a bear. Clones don't work against it, it is able to deflect her kunai and shuriken and she is not going to test whether it can reach her if she dives into the snow. She longs for Naruto’s rasengan or Sasuke’s chidori, though both attacks would unavoidably force her into close proximity with the bear and she’s not sure that she’s brave enough for that. 

Can she possibly trigger another avalanche? It’s a desperate thought, and a quick perusal of her surroundings show that there are no cliffs nearby that seem ready to part with any suitable amounts of snow. In fact, her running has brought her closer to the ocean again. 

She’ll just have to make do with that then. 

Deliberately ignoring the part of her that screams about insanity, she heads for the edge of the island, using chakra to make her run easily and quickly on top of the snow when she runs out of trees to use. Behind her the bear speeds up, slowly gaining on her. 

Though every part of her wants to run as far and fast as she can she forces herself to keep the same pace, focusing instead on digging through her weapon’s pouch. Kunai are sent flying left and right, landing innocently in the snow as she continues running. Once she deems herself far enough out she comes to a halt, turning around to face the bear again. 

It is more weary now, having stopped as well and just glaring suspiciously at her from a distance. Too long of a distance. She needs it closer. 

“Are you too much of a coward to fight me head on?” she shouts, channelling her inner Naruto. “Come at me, I dare you!” 

Her voice cracks in fear but slowly he comes forward, gaining momentum as he gets moving again. She forces herself to stand still, her eyes locked with his as he approaches rapidly. She brings her hands up in the snake-sign, readying herself. 

When it is almost over her she detonates the explosive tags. 

The eyes beneath the bear’s paws explode, sucking the bear down into the depths of the ocean. However, the cracks spread with worrying speed, and before she has time to react the ice beneath her is breaking too. 

The icy cold water takes her breath away. Her hands are already halfway through the sequence of hand signs Kakashi-sensei taught her but the shattered ice and the currents beneath it are tugging at her, pulling her down into the depths of the water. 

Then her back erupts in agony, what can only be the claws of one of the bear’s paws tearing into her flesh, and she can’t help the scream that escapes her. Immediately her nose and lungs are filled with water and she’s panicking again, unable to breathe and desperately trying to get away from the reach of the bear. 

Somehow she manages to swim upwards, or what she thinks is upwards at least, and then her head slams into ice above and she still can’t breathe! Desperately searching for an opening her hands run over rough ice, drawing blood with the force of it but not finding anything. The current is tugging her along, down into the depths, and she fights it, trying to cling on to the ice but only managing to further scrape herself. 

In desperation, she claws at herself, trying to get rid of any extra weight that she can. Somehow the thick winter jacket comes off. The boots are a bit tricky, but with some kicking they too come off. Cold, stiff fingers tear at the harnesses she’s wearing. 

She’s still being pulled downwards, down into the depths of the ocean and finally, finally , she manages to tear the harnesses off. The loss of the extra weights allow her to kick herself upwards, but once again she collides with ice above her. 

She’s going to die. 

She’s-going-to-die, she’sgoingto die, she’sgoingto- 

DON’T PANIC! 

JUTSU, REMEMBER?! 

Stars dance before her eyes as her cold and decidedly stiff fingers clumsily run through the signs, the current pulling her further along as she struggles to make her fingers obey. It doesn’t work at first and desperately she tries again, her throat and lungs burning with the cold water and lack of oxygen. 

The next thing she knows she’s vomiting and gasping for air at once, her fingers digging desperately into the snow and her whole body shivering with fear and cold. For a few minutes her whole world consists of vomiting water and gasping for breath, before she is able to quickly catch a glance around. The bear is gone and she is further away from the island than she was before. However the mountain still rises far above her, taunting her with its distance and definitive lack of heat.

She's alive, but she's doomed. 

She won’t make it that far, she realises with startling clarity even as she shivers with cold, her teeth clattering against each other. Soaked through in ice cold water in sub-zero temperatures she won’t be able to make her way back to the island, much less find somewhere to light a fire and a safe place for her to undress. 

Shivering, she crawls in on herself, resting her forehead against the snow covered ice beneath her. A sob escapes her. Is it better to die from drowning or from the cold? The thought is mirthless and she fists her hand in the snow, angry with her helplessness. 

No! She can’t give up. Kakashi-sensei has taught her how to keep herself warm, after all. She can do this. 

Her chakra is slow to obey, moving more sluggishly than she is used to, though she thinks that might be her own lacking facilities making her control bad. Finding the balance is even harder and every instinct she has is telling her to turn the heat up high, to circulate her chakra for all she can. Only Kakashi-sensei’s warning keeps her from doing so. Even if being boiled alive is quickly starting to sound a lot better than frozen to death.  

Slowly, ever so slowly, her chakra circulation starts to approach the balance, though it seems a pitiful effort. Not nearly enough to keep her warm, not even enough to remove the dullness from her limbs. A little bit more, she tells herself. Just a little. 

Once more her world shrinks, except instead of vomiting and oxygen it now consists of cold, shivering and chakra. 

Thicker. 

Warmer. 

Not too warm, but warmer. 

Everywhere. 

Need to make the cold go away. 

She’s not sure when she closed her eyes but when she opens them again she’s no longer on the ice. Instead she’s on a small, grassy island, just a few steps wide, surrounded by water. 

Opposite of her sits a mirror image of herself, dressed in her old qipao dress. 

“What?” she and the mirror image asks in unison. 

She stares at herself, mouth ungracefully agape as she struggles to make sense of what is going on. 

"This is scary," the other her says. 

"Where am I?" she asks back. 

They blink at each other, identical green eyes large with confusion. 

"Who are you?" she asks. 

"Who are you ?" the other her replies. 

She blinks at herself again, and then the mirror-she breaks out into a grin. 

"I'm just messing with you. Me. Us. Whatever." 

The other her leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees and studying her closer. 

"I'm you. Or, me. I'm you and us but I'm also me, get it?" 

"No," she admits, shaking her head in confusion. 

Her mirror image frowns, distractedly blowing a lock of hair out of her face. 

"Well, I'm everything that you are but can't currently be, if that makes more sense?" 

"Not really." 

Wherever they are, it's comfortably tempered, much closer to Konoha-temperature than the icy hell she just came from. A curious look around her reveals that it's just her and the other her, their small island and the water surrounding them. There is light at the island but beyond the water there's only darkness. 

"Like this then: you can't be a lady and a shinobi at once, right? So I am whichever part you aren't at the moment, and whenever you need to be that I become what you were. Cool, right?" 

She's not at all convinced that cool is the right word but politely keeps quiet about it. Opposite of her, her mirror image grins again. 

"See, now you're being the polite lady again and I'm the frank one!" Then she frowns. “I’ve never seen this happen before though. Usually I’m kind of alone in here.” 

She frowns at the other her. 

“Where is here anyway?” 

The other leans backwards again, tilting her head as if she’s studying the sky in search of answers. Except there’s no sky to study. Only darkness. 

And they’re not entirely similar, she notices as she studies herself and the other her closer. The other her is wearing her old qipao dress and still has her old headband, the one Ino gave her years ago. She’s also well manicured, hair looking as if she has just come from a grooming session with cousin Kiku. In comparison, Sakura is wearing her new, green training clothes, including the wrist- and ankle warmers. She’s less composed too, hair not nearly as neat and hands looking more calloused. 

“As far as I can tell,” the other her says again, interrupting her reverie, “this here is your innermost self. So there’s water, for your affinity with water, and there’s earth, for your affinity with earth.” 

She knocks on the ground, covered in soft grass, as if to prove her point and offers a grin before she continues. 

“Then there’s me. Your innermost self. Whatever part of you that you chose not to show the world, the good and the bad.” 

“That doesn’t sound normal,” she points out, cocking her head in confusion. 

The other her blushes, looking away. 

“Well, maybe it’s not. Then again, I’m no Yamanaka so I can’t really compare this to the mind of anyone else.” 

The whole conversation is giving her a headache. Frustrated, she shakes her head, trying to clear her mind. 

“How did I get here?” she asks next. 

“I don’t know,” the other her shrugs. “I’ve never seen it happen before?” 

“Didn’t you say something about being everything that I’m not? So if I’m confused, shouldn’t you have the answers?” 

To her surprise the other her glares back. 

“I said I’m everything that you’re currently not. I can’t be anything that you have never been. It doesn’t work like that.” 

She sighs, feeling her shoulders drop. 

“What do you know then?” 

“Not much really.” The other her pulls her knees closer, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on the knees. “I’ve just … always been, I think. Sometimes I’m one way and sometimes I’m another way, but I’ve always just been me and I’ve always been alone in here.” 

Something in her twitches in sympathy then. Is it even sympathy if it’s with yourself? Both of her smirk at the thought. 

“Well, I’m here and you’re here,” she states. “That should mean that I’m not dead at least, right? Unless this is the afterlife?” 

“No, I don’t think it is,” the other her replies, shaking her head. “Not unless we’ve always been dead or something, and that just sounds insane, doesn’t it?” 

“Being two in one mind sounds sort of insane too.” 

“True.” 

They share a brief smile before they frown, trying to figure things out. 

“We were dying and now we’re here,” the other her states after a few moments. “That doesn’t seem like a coincidence.” 

“No, it doesn’t. And I remember really focusing on my chakra. If all of this is somehow connected to my chakra, perhaps that is why this happened?” 

“Sounds like a plausible explanation. At least for now. But how do we get back to normal?” 

“And how do we stop ourselves from dying?” 

Leaning in closer again they - she - start to exchange ideas. 

“You humans continue to find ways to amuse me.” 

He’s floating in darkness, somehow aware that he is suspended somewhere between awake and unconscious. His thoughts are sluggish, his speech even more so. 

“Fuck your amusement.” 

“I shall be amused by your visit until the next of your kin makes their way to me. In return, I give you a piece of me to keep with you.”

The air around him is growing noticeably cooler, causing little goosebumps to appear on his arms. He shivers in the cold, feeling like he is slowly rising towards something.  

“May luck be with you both.” 

He comes awake slowly, which is more than a little unusual in and of itself. After years of active shinobi duty he is a very light sleeper, always waking up immediately at even the smallest sounds. Now though, he slowly becomes aware of himself, the hard surface he’s lying on and of a wet, ticklish sensation on his cheek. 

It takes another few moments before he can feel his body and figure out how to move it, struggling to open his eyes. Two silvery eyes meet his, large and innocent. The tickling sensation returns and he realises that he’s being licked. 

With a groan he manages to push himself up to a sitting position, gasping as pain shoots through his leg. The wolf cub - the source of the earlier licking - backs away and eyes him with weariness. No older than a couple of months from the looks of it, it still has its puppy fur and disproportionately large ears and paws. 

Since the cub doesn’t seem to be moving, Kakashi leans forward, inspecting the damage to his foot. The boots have protected him from the worst of the damage but there are still several deep gashes where wolf teeth have torn through leather and clothing alike. Thankfully it is not bleeding too much, probably from a mixture of the cold and it having coagulated while he has been unconscious. Reaching into his pouch he withdraws the first aid kit, swiftly wrapping the wound. He’ll have to clean it properly later but for now it looks clean enough, and he needs to figure out what else is going on. 

His last memory is of detonating the explosive tags, blowing both himself and the cave up. Yet here he is, still alive and sitting in the middle of the intact cave. 

When another shiver runs through him he looks around again, locating his backpack and discarded clothing. Rather than walk over to it he elects to shuffle across the floor, trying not to rustle his wounded foot any more than necessary. The thick clothes come on with some difficulty. 

Meanwhile the cub seems to have decided that he’s not an immediate danger, inching closer and curiously sniffing him. It yips in surprise and probably a bit of fear as Kakashi picks it up by the scruff, lifting it to eye level to get himself a proper look at it. 

Unlike the wolves he remembers fighting, this one looks perfectly ordinary, no silver claws or unnatural size. The only thing even remotely unusual about this particular cub seems to be the strangely intelligent eyes and the silvery fur, which he somehow suspects is a perfect match to his own hair. 

“So you’re my reward for this whole spectacle, are you?” 

Instead of answering, the cub licks his nose and Kakashi puts it down, absentmindedly petting it. Through the mouth of the cave he can tell that it is daytime and that he is far, far above the forest. 

“Though I wonder what’s the point of keeping me alive if I’m going to die here after all,” he comments to the cub. 

It yips again and jumps out of his lap, rushing over to the mouth of the cave. A moment later it returns, pulling a long staff with it and depositing it at his side. 

“Well, maybe you’re not entirely useless.” 

With the support of the staff and the cave wall he manages to pull himself up to standing, and with the support of the staff he is able to hobble a few steps. His chakra reserves are still low, but as he exits the cave he finds himself perfectly capable of walking on top of the snow. 

An indignant bark behind him makes him turn around. The cub is still sitting at the entrance of the cave, giving him a look that reminds Kakashi heavily of Pakkun. What are you doing? I can’t walk through all this snow! it says. With a resigned sigh he reaches out to pick the cub up again. 

Staff supporting his weight and wolf cub stuffed under his arm he slowly makes his way back down the mountain.

Chapter Text

He’s warm, he realises. All of him, not just individual parts, and not the kind of false warm that comes from too much cold. There is a scent of fire and smoke, of meat cooking and of some kind of herb. 

Forcing his eyes open, it takes him a moment to realise that he’s back in the shrine again, in the main hall, safely tucked into his own bedroll. 

“What happened?” His voice is harsh, raspy, barely recognisable as his own. 

“You almost died, is what happened.” 

The voice is familiar but it is not before the face appears before him that he recognises it, so out of place is it. Or maybe it’s just that the last few days have just been that strange to him. 

“Gina?” 

“The same. And lucky for you that I came when I did, or both of you would have been dead by now.” 

“Both?” 

Frowning it takes him a moment to realise what she means, and then he’s sitting up and frantically looking around. His gaze falls on the bedroll on the other side of the fire, covered with even more blankets than his own. 

“Calm down, Kakashi,” Gina says, gently placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him in place. “I said you’re both alive, didn’t I?” 

He opens his mouth to speak again but his voice fails him this time. She reaches for the fire and returns a moment later with a cup of steaming hot tea. With fumbling hands and only a little help from her he manages to sip some of it down, and when he speaks again his voice is more like its normal tones. 

“What happened to her? Where are the dogs?” 

“Apart from the wolf pup I found with you I haven’t seen any dogs,” she replies. “As for what happened to your girl, I found her half naked, soaked and frozen half to death next to a big hole out on the ice.” 

The wolf cub in question whines worriedly but Kakashi pays it no heed. Instead he puts the tea aside, crawling out of his bedroll. He winces as pain stabs through his injured foot but continues to crawl to the other side of the fire pit. 

“She hasn’t woken up yet, but I’ve changed her clothes and looked after her wounds, so she should be fine.” 

A small frown mars Sakura’s face but her breathing is reassuringly slow and regular, a light flush on her cheeks. Brushing a hand over her forehead confirms Kakashi’s suspicions. 

“She has a fever,” he states. 

“Not surprising, given everything.” 

“What happened? You mentioned wounds?” 

Worriedly he looks her over, but since only her head sticks out from the large pile of blankets she’s covered with he cannot determine the extent of any injuries. 

“From the looks of it, she fended off some sort of a monster bear by blowing a hole in the ice and ended up going down herself. And she has some nasty wounds on her back.” 

Kakashi winces at his cousin’s words, gently brushing a stray lock of pink hair away from Sakura’s face. This is … this is his fault. He’d thought he’d been protecting her but, once again, he’s failed. And to top it all off, the dogs’ disappearance is probably a consequence of him forcing himself to use chakra to detonate those explosive tags, even though he didn’t have any available reserves left. 

“Kakashi. She’s alive,” Gina says slowly, reassuringly. “Not great, but alive. She’ll recover.” 

He thinks of that mission to Wave-country, when both Naruto and Sasuke almost died. He remembers Sasuke, pierced by numerous senbon and seemingly dead until they were pulled out. Naruto, only alive thanks to the chakra of the Nine Tails. They’d made him proud then, working as a team and ready to risk their lives for each other. This .., he thinks looking down at his last remaining student. This is something different. 

He put her in danger this time. 

Thinking back, he should have been firmer with Lady Tsunade. He’d told her this was too dangerous for a genin but he’d let himself be convinced. And then, instead of dumping her in the closest inn, he had convinced himself that bringing her along wasn’t so bad, wouldn’t put her in any danger. He’d somewhat enjoyed the company even, focusing on teaching her things rather than the task before him. 

There is a moment when faces flash before his eyes; his father, Obito, Rin, Minato. They’d all died on him. Sasuke, Naruto; they’d both decided they were better off without him and left the village. There are so precious few people he ever allowed to get close enough to consider them teammates. There are some he calls friends, but whom he rarely goes on missions with. He’d never wanted new teammates to begin with; he was fine being a lone wolf. He was good at it even. Yet he had allowed himself to let others get close again, even though he’d known that they were mere genin, so inexperienced and fragile that it sometimes seemed the wind would overpower them. 

“Fuck. Kakashi? Kakashi!” 

Tugging on his arm pulls him away from Sakura and out of his reverie and he finds himself looking into the eyes of his cousin instead. They're large, and eerily like his father's. 

"What are you doing here by the way?" he asks, his mind shifting tracks entirely. 

She scoffs at him and he allows himself to be steered back to his bedroll, where the tea cup is firmly placed back in his hands. 

"Mother fessed up as to what she'd said, so I figured you were going here and needed my help." 

"You "figured I needed your help"?" 

He raises an eyebrow questioningly and she gives him a sharply pointed look back. 

"Yeah. Do you know what the first clue to you being out of your element was? You deciding to come here in the middle of fucking winter, that's what! When any sane person would at least wait until spring." 

"Well, I didn't exactly have the time to wait-" 

"And that's another fucking thing! You clearly weren't thinking this through!" 

"I am not-" 

"And if you had stopped for even a second to ask any advice before going, from someone who's actually been here before , do you know what I would have told you? That it's a stupid fucking idea, to stay in the damn temple and to not bring outsiders and especially not leave them alone!" 

This time he's wise enough not to reply, accepting the scolding for what it is. 

"I mean for fuck's sake Kakashi, I know damn well that you need your space and all that and I think I've been pretty damn patient in giving you that, but you're my baby cousin! And I know that you hate me by association of being a Hatake but what have I personally ever done to harm you?”

Kakashi opens his mouth to answer, but quickly closes it again. There are reasons he’s avoided Gina throughout the years. Good reasons, it seemed like at the time, but … 

“So you'd think that before going off on any potentially fatal family-related quests you'd have the sense to at least ask for some advice, but no! You know better than anyone else and clearly don't need any help so forgive me for worrying!" 

She turns back to the fire, her back to him as she tends to the cooking meat with jerky movements. Kakashi remains silent for a minute or two, processing her words and their meanings. 

He still maintains that he’s had good reasons for distancing himself from the Hatake Clan, after his father’s death. That includes Gina. However, she’s just a couple of years older than him. 

The last time they had any real contact he’d been a child. 

She’d been a child, even more so than him, in the sense that she’d still been in the Academy. 

Can he still blame her, for repeating the same words her mother had spoken? Because that’s essentially what she’d done. Sure, she’d said some horrible, hurtful things, but it was all things that Sarana had said first. 

Looking back now, he can see that. Even if he didn’t see it back then. 

Moreover, Gina has clearly opted not to follow in her mother’s footsteps. The mere fact that she’s chosen a career as a medical ninja, with a side business of making clothes, is proof of that - because while Kakashi might view just about every medic he’s ever known with distrust, it’s not the kind of career Hatake Sarana would ever approve of. 

And then there’s the fact that she’s here, right now. On Okami Island, having saved both his and Sakura’s lives, scolding him for not asking her for help or advice. For being reckless and putting himself in danger. 

How long has it been since someone scolded Kakashi for something like that? 

"I'm sorry," he says at last, feeling foolish. "My feud isn't with you.” 

Not really. 

Not … anymore. 

Kakashi owes his life to Gina. 

Owes Sakura’s life to Gina. 

He’s been angry at everyone named Hatake for the majority of his life, but right now he cannot find it in himself to summon up any anger towards her. For once, he finds himself willing to let bygones be bygones. 

At least as far as Gina is concerned. 

“I shouldn’t have acted out of emotion, the way I did.” 

"Apology accepted," is her curt reply. But she hands him a plate of food a few moments later and the look she gives him then is softer and warmer than her voice, so he thinks he might be forgiven after all. 

They eat in semi-comfortable silence, not quite looking at each other but not quite looking away from each other either. It reminds him of times spent together as a child, back before his father died and before he started the Academy. Back then he had idolised her, her being the older cousin already several years into her Academy education and seeming so very grown up. Thinking back he can even admit that she was always kinder to him than her mother, and he wonders briefly how a mother like his aunt has a daughter like Gina. 

“How long was I out for?” he asks after a while, having gathered his thoughts somewhat. 

“Don’t know,” Gina shrugs. “I found the girl first and kind of had to focus on locating the shrine and getting her warm and all that. Then this cub here,” she indicates the wolf cub, throwing him a piece of meat as she does so, “found me and brought me to you a couple of hours ago.” 

He hums, thinking back to the last thing he remembers. 

“Near the tree-line?” 

Gina nods in affirmation, confirming Kakashi’s memories. He had gotten pretty far then. Almost all the way back to the shrine. 

“Your foot will heal by the way. I’ve done what I can, but you’ll probably always have some nasty scars there. The function should return to normal though.” 

“And Sakura?” 

And he’s back to her. Not panicking this time. Not getting lost in the waves of past trauma. At least that is what he tries to convince himself. 

“Did a surprisingly good job keeping herself alive in the cold, so once she gets out of her meditative trance she should be fine.” 

Looking from Gina to Sakura and back again Kakashi frowns. 

“She’s in meditation?” 

“Yeah, that’s my best guess. I take it you’re the one who taught her how to keep herself warm with chakra meditation?” 

“Yeah. A couple of days ago.” 

Gina scoffs at him in disbelief. 

“Boy, that ain’t the technique of someone who just learned it a couple of days ago.” 

“It’s about a month since I introduced her to chakra meditation to begin with,” Kakashi admits. “Though that particular technique I only taught her a few days ago. She’s quick on picking things up.” 

Consideringly, Gina turns her gaze towards Sakura. 

“Well, maybe. Either way I think the shock of the water and the cold might have pushed her further into it than she meant to, thus why she’s not waking up.” 

“Can you wake her up?” 

Already before Kakashi has finished asking the question Gina is shaking her head. 

“No. I’m only a chunin, remember? And while I’m a medic I’m no mind specialist, so I don’t dare mess with this.” 

That does worry him and once he’s finished eating he finds himself staring into the fire, as if it holds the answers to all his worries. 

“You should try to sleep some more, Kakashi,” Gina tells him, taking the dish from him. “If you feel up to it we’ll leave in the morning and head for Konoha.” 

Although he doesn’t feel like sleeping his body has other ideas, and with a yawn he gives in, crawling back into his bedroll. He falls asleep watching Gina clear their dishes and he wonders at the complete lack of animosity he feels. 

Perhaps something good has come of this after all. 

Just before he falls asleep he feels the wolf cub snuggle up next to him. 

In the morning Gina summons her own dogs, a pack of sled dogs with thick fur and goofy grins. Though Kakashi’s foot has healed plenty, enough for him to be confident in his ability to make the trip on his own two legs, Gina won’t hear of him straining it. Instead she pushes him down into the sled before placing Sakura in his lap and then the wolf cub in Sakura’s lap, wrapping all three of them in plenty of blankets to keep them warm. 

Travelling like that is strange, for more reasons than one, but since he is grateful to Gina for coming along to save them he lets her take charge. And if he cradles his student closer sometimes, reassuring himself that she’s there and she’s alive, well then that’s nobody’s business. The proximity also makes him realise, more than anything else has, just how much smaller she is than him. Not even thirteen years old, he thinks. She seems so much more … fragile than he ever was at that age. Or at any age, really. 

The realisation isn’t a comfortable one. 

With Gina’s dogs it takes them four days to reach the border, where the thin layer of snow soon forces them to abandon the sled. By then his foot is well enough that even Gina can’t complain about him putting strain on it. 

Getting from the border and back to Konoha takes them another three days, Kakashi going slow to allow Gina to keep up this time. Sakura remains a steady, though worryingly light, weight on his back. It reminds him of bringing Naruto back after the fight with Sasuke. 

When they do reach the village they report immediately to the hospital, where Sakura is immediately admitted and soon thereafter given her own room. The nurses confirm Gina’s diagnosis but don’t dare do anything else, leaving Kakashi alone in the room to wait for the specialist to arrive. 

Gina has disappeared off somewhere, he isn’t sure where and truthfully doesn’t care at the moment. 

Out of habit more than anything else he pulls out his book but then stares blankly down at the pages. All his attention is instead focused on the reassuring sound of soft breathing. He knows she’s alive, has felt her breathe against his back for days now and before that against his chest for several more days. Yet the stillness is bothering him and he can’t quite chase the fear that she will stop breathing for one reason or another. 

She wouldn’t be the first one. 

He thinks back to the things Gina has told him, and the things he has seen for himself; those giant bear tracks and the large hole in the ice. The spot where Gina had apparently found her, worryingly far away from the hole. The traces of the avalanche that had buried the temple until Gina dug it out again. The shredded tent and the still missing bedroll. 

He owes his student’s life to Gina and pure luck, as it seems.

He wishes he himself could do more than suppress his dislike of hospitals to sit at her bedside. At the same time he’s terrified that whatever he does will only bring more danger. People around him die. It has been a long time since he learned not to let people get close to him, yet somehow in less than a year this girl has become … pack. 

Frankly, he cares more about her than his biological family. 

He glances up as the door slides open. His aunt steps through, as if summoned by his thoughts. 

The wolf cub, who’s been sleeping peacefully at Kakashi’s feet, stirs, quickly standing to growl at the intruder. 

“Good boy,” Kakashi says, pointedly petting it. 

“I see you’re back,” she says, ignoring the growling wolf. Her mouth forms a thin, tightly compressed line, making her look permanently displeased. 

“That I am,” he replies stiffly. “Are you disappointed?” 

She raises her eyebrows then, giving him a disapproving look. Without answering she surveys the room, gaze lingering on Sakura and then the wolf cub. 

“You appear relatively unharmed, so I suppose things went fine then?” 

Playing along, Kakashi makes his voice as cold as he can manage. 

“They did. Will you sign the papers now?” 

He forces himself to meet her considering gaze, making his own gaze demanding rather than questioning and refusing to show how weary he still feels from the journey. 

“On one condition,” she says at last, looking away from Kakashi and instead resting her gaze on the hospital bed. 

“You said that if I grew up you'd approve!” he protests. “I did your stupid coming of age ritual, now do your part of the deal!” 

“I said no such thing.” Her voice is haughty, her voice disdainful as she glances at him. “And you may have passed the test but clearly there is still a lot for you to learn if this is the condition your so-called apprentice is in.” 

He doesn’t think before he lashes out, his fist connecting with her chin. 

She doesn’t so much as flinch at the blow. Granted, Kakashi doesn’t have the strength of someone like Lady Tsunade, but still … that’s worrying. 

“Finally you decide to bite back, huh?” she says, eyes shining dangerously. “We might make a man out of you yet, boy.” 

Pushing him backwards she dismissively turns her back to him, pausing by the door long enough to say; 

“I’ll sign the paperwork, if you and your apprentice move back into the compound. It is high time you started living in your own house, rather than renting that stupid apartment of yours.” 

She leaves before he can argue. 

Lady Tsunade herself arrives shortly thereafter, Gina in tow. 

“Kakashi,” she greets him shortly, barely even glancing at him or the cub, before reaching for Sakura. 

Her hands glow with medical chakra and Kakashi resists the urge to squirm in his seat. There’s a certain bitterness to the scent of medical chakra, and he wrinkles his nose in disgust. 

Gina teasingly pokes his forehead before standing next to him, facing Sakura and Lady Tsunade. 

The cub moves to jump up on the bed, clearly curious as to what’s going on, but Kakashi restrains him by the scruff of his neck. 

“Why haven’t you healed the wounds on her back?” Lady Tsunade asks, glaring at Gina. 

“I tried, Tsunade-sama, but … I couldn’t.” 

Lady Tsunade scoffs, muttering something about how useless Konoha medical ninja have become. 

Gina opens her mouth, presumably to object, but closes it again without speaking. 

“Let’s turn her over and I’ll see to it myself. Kakashi, you can wait in the hallway.” 

No , Kakashi wants to object. Just … no. He’s not leaving her side, not even now. He needs to know that she’s alive, that she’ll be fine and-

“We need to get her undressed in order to get a proper look at the wounds,” Gina explains, glancing at Kakashi over her shoulder. 

Oh. Well, in that case … Rather than stepping out into the hallway, where there will be more medics and annoying scents, Kakashi climbs through the window. He takes a deep breath of the fresh air and settles down on the windowsill with his back against the room. 

He doesn’t ask if this is an acceptable compromise, but from the fact that he isn't kicked out he surmises that it must be. 

Minutes pass by, agonisingly slow. 

The cub, now held securely in Kakashi’s arms, squirms impatiently. 

“Maybe you’re not a useless medic after all,” Lady Tsunade mutters at last. “Are you certain it was a bear that did this?” 

Kakashi turns his head lightly, catching a glimpse of Sakura’s bare back. Four ugly scars run across her shoulder blades, partly healed but still raised and angry red. His stomach plummets a little at the sight. 

Then he plummets, quite literally, as Gina simply kicks him out of the window. 

“Show some decency, cousin! No peeking!” 

Naked, underage, unmarried - nope, he’s not going there! 

Kakashi lands safely on his feet, sets the cub down and casually strides back up a nearby tree, settling down in a spot where he’ll be able to listen in without accidentally seeing something he shouldn’t. He listens as Gina tells Lady Tsunade everything she’s already told him - about the unnaturally large bear tracks, the hole in the ice - and feels goosebumps rising in his own skin. 

He’d been so close to losing Sakura. 

So close. 

Again.  

Distractedly, he keeps an eye on the cub, who’s now doing his best to climb the tree. It’s going just about as well as you’d expect it to, and eventually he grows bored and starts chasing bugs instead. 

“Well, I guess this is as good as it’s getting,” Lady Tsunade states at last, though she doesn’t sound happy about it. “Let’s get her dressed again, and then I’ll wake her up.” 

Kakashi twitches at the last part, but manages to contain himself from rushing in there immediately. 

“Will you be able to wake her up?” he asks instead, loud enough that they can hopefully hear him. 

“Of course! It’s just a meditative trance, that part is easy.” 

Kakashi sighs in relief. 

A couple of minutes later, Sakura is awake. 

“I’ve managed to mostly heal the wounds on your back, but you will have scars,” Lady Tsunade informs Sakura. “It should not affect your functionality or movement.” 

They’re alone again, Kakashi-sensei and Gina having left a couple of minutes ago, on Lady Tsunade’s request. Sakura is still sitting in her hospital bed, dressed in a hospital gown. 

It’s disorienting. 

The last thing she remembers is being at Okami Island. Facing down that bear. 

Then the water. 

Not being able to breathe. 

She shakes her head, trying to shake the memory away. 

“That’s ok,” she says, still struggling a little to stay in the present. “Being a shinobi means getting some scars, sometimes, right? I’m fine with that.”

Internally she winces, because ladies are supposed to have smooth, unblemished skin. 

But Sakura isn’t a lady. 

She’s a shinobi. 

A kunoichi. 

Which means that large, ugly scars are ok … right? 

“Well, good for you, because if the best-damned medic in the world can’t heal a couple of scratches from a bear, then we’ve got bigger trouble than your ego, kid.” 

Lady Tsunade stands abruptly, stalking over to the window to glare out through it as if the whole world is an insult to her personally. 

Sakura fidgets with the blanket lying across her legs. She hadn’t thought about it like that, but it makes sense, she supposes. Medics are able to heal almost anything, and especially a medic of Lady Tsunade’s calibre. A couple of flesh wounds shouldn’t be too difficult, considering everything else she can do. 

She’d been able to re-build Hyuga Neji’s legs after they were crushed during the invasion. 

He’s walking again. Back to doing missions, even. 

And yet, the scars on Sakura’s back remain. 

Now that she’s thinking about it, that is worrying. 

“If it makes any difference, I don’t think it was a normal bear.” 

“Well, that much is obvious already.” 

“It was … huge,” Sakura continues, a shiver running down her spine. “It had these strange, red eyes. And the claws were silvery.” 

Lady Tsunade sighs and returns to Sakura’s bedside, no longer frowning. 

“That does make it a little bit better, yes. I still don’t like the thought of a bear that is able to create injuries that won’t respond to regular medical ninjutsu running around.” 

“I don’t … think it’s running around, exactly,” Sakura says, hesitantly. “I think … it’s just on that island?” 

She doesn’t know why, but that thought feels right. 

“Besides, I … I killed it, right?” 

“Maybe,” Lady Tsunade agrees. Then her expression changes, growing more businesslike. “Anyway, you’ll be a bit weakened from essentially being bedridden for a week. You’ve lost weight and you’ve got a bit of an electrolyte imbalance, so make sure to eat properly.”

Sakura nods, showing that she’s listening. 

“That means spinach, cale, broccoli - fruit and vegetables, basically -, beans, nuts, tofu, milk, fish, chicken and so on. You might want to start with soups and work your way back to sturdier foods. Other than that, make sure that you don’t overexert yourself for a couple of days, and you should be good to go.” 

“Thank you, Hokage-sama.” 

Sakura wonders if it will ever come to feel natural that the highest leader of the village is also the most qualified medic, and to therefore have the Hokage herself tending to her injuries. Don’t get her wrong; being tended to by one of the three Legendary Sanin is an honour in and of itself, but it just feels … strange. 

Not to mention the vague sense of guilt and the urge to apologise for taking up the Hokage’s time. 

It certainly makes for good motivation not to get injured again, so perhaps that’s good. 

“Before you leave though, there is one other matter which we need to discuss.” 

And just like that the Medic Lady Tsunade has shifted to become the Hokage Lady Tsunade, not that the two are ever completely separate. Sakura straightens a little, unsure if she’s in trouble or not. She doesn't think she's done anything to warrant trouble, but ...

“Yes, Hokage-sama?” 

Lady Tsunade is levelling her with a thoughtful look. Sakura tries not to squirm nervously under it, even though she feels an awful lot like a mouse being scrutinised by a cat. 

“You know, going that deeply into chakra meditation is a really advanced technique that requires great chakra control.” 

“Oh. Thank you?” 

Sakura isn’t sure what to say, and the Hokage continues to scrutinise her intently. 

“I underestimated you, kid.” The admission is quiet, but clear. Not quite an apology, but there regardless. “Had I known about your chakra control when you came to ask to become my apprentice, I might have given you another answer.” 

“You said you didn’t have time for an apprentice,” Sakura points out, recalling the meeting in Lady Tsunade’s office. Sasuke being there. Calling her weak and trying to get an apprenticeship with Lady Tsunade for himself. 

She’d been so angry, back then. She’d slapped Sasuke. 

And in the end, they’d both been turned away, only for Lady Tsunade to then take Sasuke on as her apprentice anyway. 

“If you’d told me about your chakra control, I might have prioritised differently.” 

“I did tell you.” 

“You said that your chakra control was better than that of the Uchiha-brat, which is hardly an achievement. However, from what I’ve seen and what I’ve read in your file since, your chakra control is a fair bit more impressive than that.” 

Sakura shrugs, still not sure what to say to that. Yeah, her chakra control is good. So what? It’s not as if she’s got a lot of chakra, after all. Who needs a medic who can only heal scratch-wounds without running out of chakra , Sasuke had said. 

“I’m going to give you a choice,” Lady Tsunade states. “You’ve already made your choice once, but hear me out.” 

She pulls out a small stack of papers, holding it up so that Sakura can see. It’s the application to become Kakashi-sensei’s apprentice. 

“You can stick with this application and stay with Hatake Kakashi, who’s badly suited to being a sensei to begin with and to being your sensei in particular. Or, you can become my apprentice, and put that chakra control of yours to much better use. Which will it be?” 

Sakura’s breath catches in her throat. Being offered an apprenticeship with Lady Tsunade is definitely a once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience, and here she is, being offered an apprenticeship for the second time in a matter of months. 

She. 

Nameless Sakura. 

"I-I've already signed a contract with Kakashi-sensei.” 

"And the application has finally been handed in with all of the necessary signatures, but I have yet to approve it. If you want to change your mind, this is it."

Steely blue eyes meet hers and for a few moments Sakura can barely breathe, her chest suddenly too tight for comfort. 

“I have never seen chakra control like yours,” Lady Tsunade says quietly. “And trust me, I’ve seen a lot. You’ll make one hell of a medic, if you want to.” 

Sakura forces herself to take a deep breath. 

“Like you said, Hokage-sama, I’ve already made that choice once. My answer remains the same.” 

Despite the rejection, Lady Tsunade still smirks. 

“Imp. Do you know how many would give anything to get this opportunity, and yet you’ve got the gut to ask for more ?” 

Yeah. As if an apprenticeship with Lady Tsunade herself isn’t enough. A blush burns on Sakura’s cheeks, but she squares her shoulders none the same, repeating the words from the last time she was offered the apprenticeship. 

“With all due respect, Hokage-sama, I want to be more than just a medic.” 

“Oh, you’d be no ordinary medic, trust me. You’d be the best in Konoha. Perhaps even better than me, one day.” 

And that’s … so much more than Sakura has ever even dared to hope for. 

And yet … 

Her gaze falls to the contract that Lady Tsunade is still holding in her hands. 

“What do you mean, that the contract finally has all of the necessary signatures?” 

“As it happens, the Hatake clan head has finally signed her approval for Kakashi to take on an apprentice.” 

So that’s what has been causing the trouble with her apprenticeship paperwork, Sakura realises. And what are the odds of her and Kakashi-sensei’s recent coming-of-age thingy at Okami Island just coincidentally aligning with the Hatake clan head’s decision to approve of her apprenticeship? 

Sakura doesn’t believe it’s a coincidence. Which means that … Kakashi-sensei not only got in contact with a clan he clearly hasn’t spoken to in years , maybe decades , but even went on this whole journey just for her sake. 

For Sakura’s sake. 

Because Sakura had wanted a proper apprenticeship contract, and Kakashi-sensei had clearly wanted to give her that. 

The realisation makes a wonderful warmth spread within her. He cares. Kakashi-sensei cares for her , enough to do all of this. 

She cannot remember ever feeling so wanted. 

“Like I said, I want to stay with Kakashi-sensei for as long as he’ll let me.” 

Lady Tsunade does not look surprised, though she certainly doesn’t look happy with Sakura’s choice either. Then she offers a depreciating smile. 

“What a waste. Let me know if you ever change your mind though, kiddo.” 

She’s left alone to get dressed. Sakura brings the clothes with her to the attached bathroom, standing before the mirror above the sink as she removes the hospital gown. She’s pale and thin. Thinner than Ino even, though she cannot bring herself to feel any joy at the thought. 

Despite having done nothing but sleep - meditate? - for the last couple of days, there are dark bags under her eyes. Her cheeks have lost some of the roundness she’s used to seeing there, and her eyes look too big for her face as she meets her own gaze. 

Twisting, she can see her own back and the scars there. 

Four long, ugly scars, running across her shoulder blades. Still raised and red, despite Lady Tsunade working them over. 

She’s a kunoichi, she reminds herself. Not a lady. 

That makes it okay, right? 

She still hopes that the scars will fade with time. The thought of carrying these scars, this vivid reminder of Okami Island, with her for the rest of her life is just dizzying. 

Next time, she promises herself as she gets dressed, she’ll be stronger.

Chapter Text

Sakura is alive, Kakashi reminds himself. 

Alive and well and walking out of the hospital on her own two feet. 

Kakashi is waiting for her on the other side of the street, and she immediately smiles as she spots him. With no trace of hesitation she runs up to him, and envelops him in a hug, which he endures stoically. After holding her limp body in his arms for several days during the journey back to Konoha, this walking, talking, hugging Sakura is a great improvement. 

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come back,” she tells him, her voice muffled from having her face pressed into his vest. 

“Of course I came back.” Awkwardly, he pets her on the head. “Sensei just had to take care of a couple of things.” 

“Don’t leave me like that again. Please? At least … tell me first.”

Her voice is tight and small, the plea clear as a day, and guilt grabs onto Kakashi. Yeah, leaving her alone like that while in the field was a bad idea. Especially in a place like Okami Island. 

“Never,” he promises, some deep, primal part of him rousing to attention. “I won’t leave you like that again.” 

Just saying the words feel right . Sakura almost died, because of him, but she’s here and she’s alive and Kakashi will make sure that she stays that way.

He hasn’t been able to bring himself to stray far from her side even now, despite being back in Konoha and knowing, logically, that she’s safe. Suddenly, all he can think about is the many, many different ways she could be harmed or even killed. And unfortunately, Kakashi knows a great many ways in which people can die. 

And Sakura has already been attacked once while supposedly safe within Konoha’s walls, when Usui Masaru went after her. Luckily, Kakashi had been able to intervene that time, but there’s still the issue of Tsushima Kazemi, the missing nin from Kiri who may or may not be after Sakura. 

Not to mention the issue with her clan. 

Or the fact that she was apparently attacked by a fellow genin while living with the Genin Corps. If Kakashi had known about that fact earlier, and if Kichiro hadn’t already taken the boy’s headband as punishment … well, Kakashi isn’t sure what he would have done. Certainly nothing nice, though. 

As it is, Kakashi is more than happy to keep Sakura close. That way, at least he knows that she’s safe. 

“Hey you two!” Gina exits the hospital, shortly after Sakura, waving to the two of them. “How ‘bout dinner at Ichiraku’s? Your treat, Kakashi?” 

And since Kakashi’s been feeling uncharacteristically non-antagonistic towards her lately, and since he technically does owe her for saving his and Sakura’s lives … well, they end up at Ichiraku’s, Kakashi paying the bill. 

Since Sakura is still rather out of the loop about what’s happened, Kakashi and Gina fill her in. Then Sakura fills them in on her parts; about first being buried in an avalanche and then attacked by some monstrously large and angry bear. 

By wordless agreement, they head to Kakashi’s apartment afterwards. He’s not certain that he could just let Sakura go back to the Genin Corps even if she wanted to, and so he’s quietly grateful that she opts to join him for the evening instead. 

As they near the apartment, he’s greeted by neighbours complaining about “that howling dog of yours”. Kakashi apologises and promises that it won’t happen again, giving the now perfectly innocent-looking cub a glare. 

“We should get new weights and harnesses tomorrow,” Sakura comments as he makes them some warm tea. “I think I lost the old ones.” 

According to Gina, Sakura had practically torn her clothes to shreds in an attempt to strip herself of the extra weights as she was drowning. The thought makes cold dread run up Kakashi’s spine. 

He exchanges a brief glance with Gina and neither of them points this fact out to Sakura. Sakura is too busy cuddling with the wolf cub to notice their looks. 

“Not tomorrow. You need to recover for a couple of days before we start back up with training.” 

And Kakashi needs to decide if he wants her to keep wearing those weights or not. Maybe he should consult with Gai. What if she gets in a similar situation again, and is unable to free herself of the weights? 

What if she dies because Kakashi is making her wear those stupid weights? 

“I’m fine, sensei. Tsunade-sama said I’ll be a bit weakened, but I want to get back to training again as soon as possible.” 

“Still. The medics said you need to take it easy for the first few days at least. You should listen to them.” 

“Who are you and what have you done to my cousin?” Gina exclaims, slapping her palm into Kakashi’s living room table. “Hatake Kakashi, listening to what a medic has to say? I’ve never heard anything so absurd!” 

Beneath the mask, Kakashi struggles to contain a smile. Alright, so point to Gina. 

“Careful. I might put something in your tea.” He gives her a hard look but keeps his voice more friendly than dangerous, and her eyes sparkle with mirth as she accepts the cup of tea he offers her. 

“Well, good thing I’m a medic then, isn’t it?” 

The wolf cub snaps after Kakashi’s hand as he hands Sakura her tea, but Kakashi has raised enough pups to be able to easily evade the surprisingly sharp teeth. 

“What do you plan to do with the cub?” Gina asks casually. 

Kakashi leans back in his chair and sighs, even allowing himself to put his feet up. 

“Well, pet care is what apprentices are for, I’m told.” 

The statement startles Sakura, and she quickly looks up from the wolf cub in her arms to him. 

“ I’m supposed to take care of him?” 

“Well, he’s too young to be of any use to me on missions yet, so someone will have to take care of him while I’m away on missions.” 

The thought of leaving on a mission doesn’t sit quite right with him yet, though he knows it must happen, sooner or later. Lady Tsunade has promised to give him a day or two to get settled back in Konoha, but she’d been meaning to send him on a mission already before this impromptu journey to Okami Island. 

“Please tell me I’m in charge at least?” 

"Of course," Kakashi agrees easily. "He's too young yet. Though come to think of it, perhaps I should leave Pakkun here to supervise things." 

Gina laughs and Sakura blushes, looking down at the wolf cub again. Kakashi considers his words. He’d been teasing her, mostly, but something about the words have a nice ring to it. If he can’t be here to make sure Sakura is safe, then maybe his dogs will. 

Then again, they’ve both learned already how quickly the protection of the dogs can disappear. 

"Have you decided on a name for him, by the way?" Sakura asks, changing topics abruptly. 

Kakashi decides to allow it. 

"Okami?" he suggests playfully.

Gina throws a pillow at him with deadly accuracy. 

"No !" she tells him firmly. " Bad cousin!" 

Sakura chokes on her tea, and for a moment Kakashi is cursing himself for giving her that tea. He should have been more careful, what was he thinking, he should have-

“Yeah, that’s a bad name,” Sakura agrees, grinning at Gina. 

Kakashi has to remind himself to breathe again. 

"Kabu?" he suggests, his voice still slightly breathless. 

"Isn't it rude to literally just name him Cub?" 

Kakashi heaves a put upon sigh and stares at the ceiling, finger tapping lightly against his thigh as he thinks. 

“Kiba?” 

“Fang is certainly better than just Wolf or Cub, but I’m not sure the Inuzuka matriarch would appreciate you naming your wolf after her son,” Gina points out. 

Kakashi hums in acknowledgement. 

“Gin!” he decides at last. 

This time it is Gina who chokes on her tea, which Kakashi thinks is much better than Sakura doing so. 

A brief glance tells him that Sakura has in fact finished her tea and is now playing with the cub again. Good. She’s had dinner and tea and she’s as safe as she can currently be. 

That’s good. Isn’t it? Or is there something else that he’s missing, or -

“No! You’re not naming him that!” Gina points a threatening finger at him. 

“Why not? It makes more sense than Chairo.” 

“Yeah, he’s not even brown,” Sakura agrees. “Silver suits his fur much better.” 

Kakashi raises a teasing eyebrow at Gina. 

“Gin it is then” he states.  

Gina just groans. 

Much to Kakashi’s relief, Sakura does not leave when Gina does. She just glances questioningly at him, and Kakashi wordlessly retrieves an extra pillow and a blanket for her. As he starts to make the couch up for her, he gestures for her to go take a shower. She returns to the main room a bit later, an old shirt of his serving as nightdress, and quietly nestles down on his couch, asleep in no time. 

Kakashi quietly cleans the empty cups of tea before showering and going to bed himself, pausing by the couch just to reassure himself once again that Sakura is indeed safe. 

She’s breathing evenly. 

Her skin has a healthy colour. 

She’s too thin and frail looking but … 

She’s safe and sound and … here. Alive. 

He leaves the door to his bedroom ajar, and falls asleep listening to her even breathing. 

And then he’s startled awake some time later as she cries out in terror, and in a second he’s standing over her at the couch, kunai in hand and ready to battle whatever demons dare to threaten his apprentice. 

Except, there’s nobody there. 

Just a nightmare, he realises, as she whines in her sleep. 

Slowly, he puts the kunai away and kneels beside her, gently shaking her awake. 

“Sorry,” she says once he’s explained that she was having a nightmare. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“No problem.” 

He hesitates. He’s been dealing with his own nightmares for a long time now, but … 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he offers. 

Minato-sensei had offered to talk about his nightmares, sometimes. Kakashi had never really felt the urge to take him up on the offer, but it had still felt nice knowing that Minato-sensei was there if he ever wanted to. 

Though Kakashi can think of few people less suitable for comfort than him. 

Either way, Sakura shrugs quietly. She’s sitting up, hugging her knees close to her chest. Her gaze is lowered, not meeting his. 

“I was drowning,” she finally says. 

Not sure of what to say, Kakashi just makes a vague sound of acknowledgement. 

“The bear was there and he was tearing into my back, and I couldn’t breathe and … I was so cold, sensei.” She shivers and pulls the blanket closer around herself. 

Kakashi hums. He wishes he could chase the nightmares away somehow; protect her from these terrors. Instead, he vows that he’ll do everything in his power to protect her from future terrors. 

“It gets better,” he tells her at last. “The nightmares, I mean. They can be bad at first but … eventually they go away.” Or are exchanged for new nightmares, in his case. “They won’t come as often and … you’ll learn to deal with your fears.” 

He’s startled awake by her nightmares four more times that night, leaving them both bleary eyed and exhausted in the morning. 

Which makes it all that much worse when he’s called away on a mission already that day. 

She’s alone. 

Kakashi-sensei is gone. Again. Leaving her alone with his wolf cub. 

Gin, she corrects herself. She’s alone, in Kakashi-sensei’s apartment, with Gin. 

And contrary to what he’d threatened, he hasn’t actually left Pakkun or any of the dogs to supervise her while he’s gone. 

He’s only going to be gone for a couple of hours, but for the time being … 

It’s just her. 

And Gin. 

Alone. 

She sits on the couch, staring into the wall, trying to decide what this means to her. 

She doesn’t like being left behind, again, but then this isn’t like him leaving her on Okami Island. She’s safe in Konoha. 

Isn’t she? 

Except, there’d been that merchant who’d come after her. Or, he hadn’t really been a merchant. He’d been a missing nin from Kiri. And there’s potentially more of them out there, out for her or revenge for their comrade. 

She’s not scared , she’s just … lowkey expecting an avalanche to happen at any moment. 

Or, you know, for a bear to come after her, or … 

Kakashi-sensei is going to come back, isn’t he? 

A vague sound and the smell of ammonia pulls her out of her reverie. 

“No, Gin, stop! Bad dog!” 

The wolf looks at her, clearly confused rather than chastised. 

Sakura sighs, and retrieves paper towels to wipe away the urine. 

“I suppose you don’t know any better yet, but you’re supposed to pee outside ,” she grumbles. 

Once she’s wiped the pee up as best as she can, she throws the paper towels in the trash. It still smells of ammonia, and so she might just take the trash out while she’s at it. And maybe show Gin a better place to relieve himself in the process. 

Yeah, that sounds like a good start for a plan. 

“Come on Gin,” she says, slipping into her sandals. “Let’s go out.” 

He happily skips along, eagerly pressing past her through the door and hurrying down the stairs. 

“Hold up Gin! Wait for me!” 

But the wolf ignores her call, having spotted a cat on the other side of the street and immediately setting off after it. 

“Gin!” 

Hastily, Sakura throws the trash in the nearest bin before hurrying after Gin. He’s already out of sight, but easy enough to follow thanks to the grumbling civilians. Unfortunately, from what Sakura can tell, he’s heading straight for the marketplace. 

“Sorry!” Sakura says, dodging around an angry looking man. She presses through a group of teenagers, a couple of years older than her. “Sorry, I’m in a hurry. Gin, get back here!” 

If he hears her, he still ignores her. 

Resigned, Sakura heads for the rooftops. Clearly, Gin has the advantage of speed and agility down on the street, but she might be able to keep up with him on the roofs. 

“Gin! Where are you?” 

People look up at her as she passes by, but Sakura ignores them. What will Kakashi-sensei even do if she manages to lose Gin within hours of him leaving Gin in her care? 

“Look out!” 

“Is that a wolf ?” 

“Watch where you’re going, you useless critter!” 

“Poor kitty!” 

Sakura follows the stream of exclamations. 

“Gin! Come here!” 

In the busy streets it’s next to impossible to spot him, especially as he swerves left and right, continuing the chase through alleyways and passages she’s too high up to even spot. 

“I swear the Inuzuka have less and less control over their dogs every day-” 

“Aw, it’s just a puppy! He probably just escaped from his owner and-” 

“Stay out of here, mutt!” 

“Did you see those teeth?” 

“Did you see those eyes ? Something’s wrong with that dog, I’m telling you-” 

Stupid wolf, Sakura thinks. And stupid Kakashi-sensei, for leaving her to take care of the wolf in the first place! What does she know about taking care of wolves anyway? She doesn’t know how to take care of a dog , much less a wolf! 

“Is that-?” 

“Sakura? You’re back in Konoha!” 

She almost misses the fact that someone is actually talking to her, until Aimi suddenly appears in front of her, forcing Sakura into a halt. A moment later, she’s enveloped in a hug. 

“You’re back, Sakura! We were so worried when you just disappeared like that-” 

“-until we discovered you were on a mission with your sensei,” Takeshi continues Aimi’s exclamation, appearing next to them. He doesn’t join the hug, but is visibly happy to see her anyway.

“Y’know, it’s common courtesy to at least leave a note for your roommates,” Tomomi says, from somewhere behind Sakura. 

“Yeah, I could’ve sworn that was, like, genin lesson number 1,” Hajime adds. “Didn’t we teach her that, Tomomi? Are we bad teachers?” 

Laughter escapes Sakura, and finally Aimi lets her go. 

“I’m sorry. Sensei kind of pulled me away in a hurry, and I guess I just kind of forgot.” 

She looks from Aimi to Takeshi to Hajime and Tomomi. They look … just the same. Not that she really would have expected much to change, given that it’s barely been two weeks since she last saw them, but still. She doesn’t feel the same she did when she left, so it’s almost strange to find them the same. 

“What are you in such a hurry for?” Aimi finally asks. 

Which abruptly reminds Sakura of what she’s doing. 

“Oh, I’m looking for Kakashi-sensei’s wolf cub! He wet the floor, and when I went to throw out the trash-” 

“Did you say wolf ?” 

“Your sensei has a wolf ?” 

“-he got away and now he’s chasing after a cat, I think, and I have to find him or Kakashi-sensei will probably kill me. Or maybe not, but he’ll be really mad, because he fought a demon or something to get him and-”

“Demon?!”

“As in, a demon -demon?” 

“Sakura, I really think you’re missing a couple of steps in this explanation of yours, because-” 

“-apparently Gin is a part of some sort of really important Hatake coming-of-age-thingy-”

“Who’s Gin?” 

“-you’re really not making much sense, I’m afraid.” 

“-and I can’t lose him on the first day of looking after him!” 

Sakura looks at Aimi and Takeshi, and then Hajime and Tomomi, only finding confusion and worry in their eyes. 

“Sakura ..,” Tomomi says slowly, her voice carefully soft, “are you … alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine! I’ve just got these scars on my back from when the bear got to me-” 

A gasp escapes Aimi, and Tomomi frowns worriedly. 

“-but Tsunade-sama said I’m in the clear, so long as I take it easy for the next couple of days, so don’t worry!” 

None of them look even remotely relieved at her assurance. 

“Anyway, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but Gin is getting away, so I really must get going!” 

With those words she shoots off again, continuing her chase for the wayward wolf. He’s gotten much further ahead while she’s been held up, so he’s more difficult to follow now. 

“Hold on, Sakura-” 

“I really don’t think-” 

“Sakura!” 

“Sorry!” Sakura shouts the word over her shoulder, promising herself to give them all a proper explanation as soon as possible. 

Keeping careful watch over the streets below her, Sakura follows what she hopes is the trace of Gin. 

An old man picking up his dropped groceries, grumbling over “that damned dog”. 

A child crying, as their parent tries to comfort them. “The kitty will be alright, I promise.” 

“Sometimes you really miss the Uchiha Police force. At least they kept those shinobi and their pets decently under control, y’know.” 

“I can’t believe the Inuzuka are allowing this-” 

A loud shriek, somewhere further ahead, catches Sakura’s attention, and she hurries on. That cannot possibly be good. 

“Get this beast away from me!” 

“Aw, come on! Not on my day off! This is so troublesome …” 

“Stop complaining, you lazy-” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 

Finally Sakura comes to a halt again, surveying the scene before her. She has now reached the market place, and a cat is perched perilously on top of a half-toppled-over stand, currently only supported by the poor owner of the stand and … a shadow? 

“Gin!” she exclaims when she spots the wolf cub, apparently caught mid-jump by the same shadow that’s currently supporting the stand. 

“Sakura?!”

As she lands on the ground, Sakura turns towards the exclamation, finding Ino staring at her. Ino, Choji and Shikamaru. 

Which explains the strange shadows. 

“Ah, hi Ino. Choji. Shikamaru.” 

Ino and Choji both nod in greeting, looking surprised to see her. 

Shikamaru just grunts. “So, are you going to deal with this or not?” 

“Sorry!” She hurries over, carefully catching Gin. 

The moment Shikamaru releases the wolf from his jutsu, she’s got an armful of wrestling wolf cub, desperate to get free and continue the chase of the cat. 

“Ino, Choji, would you?” 

At Shikamaru’s calm urging, the two move to help the owner of the stand push it back upright, before Shikamaru finally releases that part of the jutsu as well. Ino somehow manages to convince the cat to come down to her, and holds it protectively against her chest even as Gin barks like … well, a wild animal. 

“Haven’t you caused enough trouble already?” Sakura scolds. “Calm down already!” 

More people join Choji in helping the stand’s owner to pick up his wares, and Sakura startles when she realises that it’s Aimi and the others. 

“So there really is a wolf,” Hajime states, stepping up to help Sakura calm Gin down. 

“Of course there is! I told you so, didn’t I?” 

Tomomi snorts, and Sakura briefly glares at her, before Gin’s struggles force her attention back to him. 

“Hold on a sec.” Hajime heads over to a nearby stand, drops a couple of coins for the vendor and returns with a rope. Swiftly, he ties it into a loop, just big enough to fit over Gin’s head, fastening it a bit further as soon as it’s in place around his neck. “There, try to let him go now.” 

Exhausted, and relieved, Sakura hesitantly lets Gin go, almost expecting him to somehow escape the makeshift leash. However, as he charges towards Ino and the cat, he comes to an abrupt halt as the rope tightens. 

“There,” Hajime says, “much better.” 

He hands her the rope, and she wraps it around her hands a couple of times in order to ensure that she won’t accidentally drop it anyway. Given his size, Gin is surprisingly strong! 

“Now, Sakura, I think you owe us all an explanation,” Tomomi says, returning the last of the dropped wares to the stand, then turning to look at Sakura and Gin. “Don’t you think?” 

Finally able to somewhat relax, now that Gin is at least on a leash, Sakura realises that she’s got the attention of a whole lot of people. Tomomi, Aimi, Takeshi and Hajime, as well as Ino, Choji and Shikamaru. Not to mention some annoyed looking civilians, still glaring daggers at both her and Gin. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” she agrees sheepishly. “It’s just … kind of a long story.” 

“How about you tell it over dinner?” Shikamaru suggests. “We were just on our way to Yakiniku Q.” 

“Sure! That sounds good. Just, uh …” she glances down at Gin, who's finally stopped barking but is still pulling on the leash. “Just let me leave Gin at home, and I’ll meet you all there, alright? My treat?” 

It’s the least she can do, for all the trouble Gin has caused. 

Or rather, paying for dinner is the least Kakashi-sensei can do for all the trouble Gin has caused. And conveniently, thanks to packing away his things when she had to leave his old apartment, she’s got a pretty good idea of where he keeps a decently large amount of emergency cash. 

Twenty minutes later Sakura joins the others at Yakiniku Q, still sweaty and embarrassed from chasing Gin. 

“So, Sakura, tell us everything,” Ino says. 

And Sakura does. 

After dinner they all part ways; team 10 heading back towards their respective compounds, and Tomomi, Hajime, Aimi and Takeshi heading for the Genin Corps’ dormitories. 

“Aren’t you coming, Sakura?” Aimi asks, when she realises Sakura isn’t following them. 

“Sorry. I’ve got to look after Gin, and I don’t think he’d do too well in the dormitories.” 

“Right. Well, see you later then?” 

“Yeah, see you guys later!” 

She heads back towards Kakashi-sensei’s apartment. On the way, she stops by a convenience store to buy a large bag of dog food. The store doesn’t have proper leashes or collars, but the cashier suggests a nearby pet shop. It’s closed, but will open again tomorrow morning, so Sakura makes a mental note to go there. 

When she arrives back home, she finds the apartment in disarray. 

She’s been gone maybe an hour, but in that time Gin has somehow managed to destroy all of the pillows of the couch, including the blanket she’d been using, chewed up an impressively large part of the carpet, pissed on the floor and, judging from the scent, pooped somewhere as well. Further exploration shows that there’s a number of kunai and shuriken strewn around both the kitchen and the living room, and somehow the stovetop is on. The only reason nothing has been set on fire is probably because Gin hasn’t been able to reach something far up enough to fall onto the stove top. 

Sakura hastens to turn the stove top off, grateful that she won’t have to tell Kakashi-sensei that she’s burned down his apartment again . 

“Come on,” she sighs. “Let’s get you another walk.” 

She walks him around the block, careful to keep him on the makeshift leash, but he doesn’t do anything other than stop to sniff every couple of steps. 

When they return to the apartment she pours a decent amount of the dog food - dry kibbles that, according to the packaging, contain all the vitamins a growing puppy needs - into one of Kakashi-sensei’s two soup bowls. She fills the other one with water, and puts them both on the floor for Gin. 

He sniffs the bowls, hesitant at first. He drinks from the water, and then moves on to the kibble. Sakura isn’t sure whether kibble is the right food for a wolf pup, but she figures it’s as close as she can get. It’s not as if the convenience store had an isle for wolf food, after all. 

Maybe the pet store will, though Sakura doubts it. 

Then again, perhaps it would be better to just feed him meat? She’ll do that if he doesn’t like the kibble, she decides. 

Luckily, it seems like she won’t have to worry about that, because after a hesitant taste Gin proceeds to practically inhale every single kibble in the bowl. 

While Gin is busy with the food, she begins the process of cleaning up. She starts by collecting the weapons, putting them in piles on the counter top where Gin won’t be able to reach them. Then she sweeps the floors, collecting the ruined pillows, the stuffing and the remains of the chewed up carpet. It makes several large trash bags, and she’s careful to lock the door behind her as she takes the trash out. 

“There you are. Good. The Boss wasn’t sure where you’d be.” 

The voice, coming from somewhere behind her in the darkness, startles Sakura badly enough that she hurls the last of the trash bags in the general direction of the voice. 

Pakkun dodges it easily, giving her a vaguely offended look from atop Bull. 

“Sorry,” she sighs, retrieving the trash and throwing it away. “You just startled me.” 

“You need to become more aware of your surroundings. And your reflexes are horrible.” 

She suppresses the urge to apologise for that too. 

“Is Kakashi-sensei coming back home soon?” 

“Tomorrow, probably. He’d hoped to be back tonight already, but things are taking a bit longer than he’d hoped.” 

“Oh.” 

They follow her up the stairs as she heads back to the apartment. 

“He’s worried,” Pakkun says. “How’re you doing?” 

“Fine, I guess. It’s just … been a long day.” 

“Anything we can do to help?” 

She unlocks the door but doesn’t open it, turning instead to look at Pakkun. 

“Any chance that you could talk to Gin? Tell him to do his business outside and don’t chew on everything?” 

“Sorry, I don’t talk wolf.” 

Sakura sighs dejectedly. There went any hope of an easy solution to her problems. 

She opens the door to let the dogs in, careful not to let Gin out. 

“I thought dogs and wolves were related?” she grumbles, more to herself than to Pakkun or Bull. 

“Distantly. We’re like … cousins,” Pakkun explains anyway. “From different countries. Kind of understand each other a little bit, but not much.” 

“Okay. That makes sense, I guess. Any chance that you know anything about how to take care of a puppy? Or … wolf puppy, I guess?” 

Pakkun gets a strange gleam in his eyes, levelling Sakura with a serious look. 

“See, now we’re talking. Boss has eight dogs in total, but I was his first. I’ve been there to help raise the others. Right, Bull?” 

The large dog nods his head sagely, seemingly wholly unbothered by the weight of Pakkun on top of it. 

“I think we’ll be able to give you a tip here and there on how to handle the wolf. And speaking of,” Pakkun stands, walking until he’s standing just by Bull’s short tail, where Gin is sniffing curiously, “SHOW SOME MANNERS YOU MUTT!” 

The last part is shouted loudly enough that Gin jumps backwards in pure surprise, and followed by a strict growl from Pakkun. 

Gin folds his ears down, tail between his legs, and sits down. 

“There. That’s better.” Pakkun sits again, calmly turning his attention back to Sakura. “Now, what have you done so far?” 

It’s a good thing he’d seent Bull and Pakkun back to look after Sakura, Kakashi decides as he returns home in the wee hours of the morning. 

He’s greeted at the door by an eager Gin, jumping at him and demanding attention. Bull and Pakkun are more reserved in their greetings, neither of them bothering to get up from the couch. 

A glance around the room confirms what his nose has already told him. The tatami mats have already been chewed to pieces, the stuffing on the couch appears to be more or less gone, and there’s an unmistakable scent of ammonia and cleaning detergents. 

“Had an accident, did we?” he mutters to Gin, burying his face in the soft fur. 

“Not much of an accident, if you ask me.” Pakkuns voice is quiet but derisive, the glare he sends Gin speaking by itself. 

Gin appears wholly unbothered, peppering Kakashi’s face with eager licks. 

“Where’s Sakura?” 

“Sleeping.” Pakkun tilts his head in the direction of Kakashi’s bedroom, indicating where. “Poor thing looked like she needed it, so Bull and I agreed to babysit for the night.” 

Bulls sighs and puts his head down on his paws again, clearly indicating that the babysitting was more Pakkuns idea than his. 

“I see.” 

Standing, Kakashi walks over to the door to his bedroom, opening it just enough to peek inside. As Pakkun had said, Sakura is asleep. In his bed. His kunai-patterned covers pulled all the way up to her chin. 

Well, considering the state of the main room he cannot really blame her for taking the bed. Even if it means that he himself won’t be getting much sleep tonight. 

Quietly, he closes the door again. 

Since Bull and Pakkun take up the majority of the couch, Kakashi opts instead to sit on the floor. Immediately, Gin is in his lap, demanding attention again. 

“This won’t work, Boss.” Pakkun’s voice is just as quiet as before, his gaze now more serious than derisive. 

Kakashi sighs, feeling his shoulders slump tiredly. “I know.” 

“Pups need space. Especially when you’ve got two of them.” 

Closing his eyes, Kakashi steels himself against the wave of resignation crashing over him. 

“I know,” he repeats. 

Kakashi is used to raising puppies. He’s got eight dogs, after all, even if they’re summons. They’ve all spent a considerable amount of time with him, over the years, as both he and them have grown up. 

This is different. 

This is … 

He pulls his fingers away, as Gin starts chewing on them, gently correcting the pup’s unwanted behaviour. Opening his eyes, he looks down on the wolf pup. Wolves and dogs are not the same, and raising a wolf pup full time will be an entirely different experience than raising eight dog summons over the course of a decade. 

Unlike Pakkun and the others, Gin won’t be able to return to the dog-realm whenever he gets bored or isn’t needed anymore. It’ll be a year until Gin is old enough to actually train for real, and two until he’s reached adulthood. Until then, he’ll need basic training, food and water, regular walks, somewhere to sleep, somewhere where he’ll be able to run around properly … 

Living in an apartment really isn’t ideal for a wolf pup. 

And it’s not just that. As Pakkun has pointed out, Kakashi doesn’t just have one pup. He has two. 

Sakura will need accommodations too. Sure, he could send her back to the Genin Corps’ Dormitories, but that would still leave him with the problem of what to make out of Gin when he has to go on missions. Gin would not fit in at the Genin Corps’ Dormitories, at least not until he’s been properly trained. 

Pups need space, as Pakkun had put it. 

The problem is, space is difficult to come by these days. 

Apartments are still in high demand from the invasion, and getting his hands on a house with some land to it would be next to impossible. It’s not that there aren’t such places, just that those places that would work already belong to the clans. And it’s not as if any of the clans would let Kakashi move in on their land. The Hyuga dislike him on principle, on account of his sharingan, the Nara are notoriously protective of their forest, the Yamanaka vehemently protective of their jutsu and unwilling to let strangers into their compound. The Akimichi might be more friendly than most, but even they would hesitate given that Kakashi does not come alone but with a wolf in tow. 

In other words, there’s only one place Kakashi can reasonably expect to find a house with a suitable amount of land, ready for him to move in on short notice. 

No , he thinks. Absolutely not. And yet … The Hatake lands are literally made for raising wolves. Gin would be able to run around freely there, and Kakashi would only have to worry about the other Hatake clan members, neither of whom would dare to hurt the wolf. 

He’d be able to have his own house. It’d be large enough for Sakura to get her own bedroom, so she wouldn’t have to sleep in the dormitories any more. 

But there’d be other people there too. 

She would be there. Kakashi does not want Hatake Sarana anywhere near either of his pups. 

He flops backwards, until his back hits the floor, and stares up at the ceiling. When did he start thinking about Sakura as pack? As his pup? Was it before or after the stupid journey to Okami Island? He can’t remember. 

Gin sniffs him curiously, before deciding that Kakashi is clearly just playing. Eagerly, he bites on to Kakashi’s sleeve and starts tugging. 

“Fuck me,” he says to no one in particular. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

Chapter Text

“This is perfect timing, isn’t it? New year, new start!” Gina smiles excitedly at Kakashi-sensei and Sakura. “What better time to say farewell to old squabbles and move back home?” 

Kakashi-sensei just grunts, clearly not as optimistic. Sakura offers Gina a smile of her own, silently praying that Gina’s optimistic take will prove truthful. 

She shivers a little in the cold December air, pausing a moment to adjust her grip on the multiple shopping bags she’s carrying, before hurrying to catch up with the adults. It’s a beautiful, clear day in Konoha and the streets are bustling with activities in preparation for the New Year’s celebrations. 

"Do you remember what I told you, Sakura-chan?" 

Kakashi-sensei’s voice is a little bit rougher than normal. Tense, she thinks. Probably a sign of how uncomfortable he is with the whole situation. A sliver of guilt makes another shiver run down her spine. Kakashi-sensei went to Okami Island for her sake. Fought a pack of wolves for her. Just because she wanted a proper apprenticeship contract. And now he’s moving back in with a clan he clearly hasn’t spoken to in … a very long time, at any rate. 

Her own voice, when she speaks, is carefully controlled and she does her best to copy the optimism of Gina: "Don't trust anyone and don't talk to anyone unless it's absolutely necessary?" 

"Exactly." 

Beside Kakashi, Gina scoffs. "I feel like I ought to be insulted.” 

"You ought to," Kakashi replies, his tone more humorous than his words. "You're included in the untrustworthy." 

"Don't listen to him, Sakura-chan. I'm sure we'll be best friends in no time." 

Gina winks at her before she pushes at the front gate to the Hatake compound, holding it open to Kakashi, Gin and her. There’s a pair of kadomatsu - the traditional pine- and bamboo New Year’s decorations - on either side of the gates, with ornaments made from plum sprigs and purple ribbons. Above the gate hangs a shimekazari, braided with straw and more purple ribbons. The decorations remind Sakura of Gina. She cannot imagine the Commander sitting down to craft the decorations - much less his mysterious and apparently wholly untrustworthy wife. 

"Don't listen to her," Kakashi-sensei continues the conversation as they enter the compound, seemingly unaware that Sakura is paying more attention to the decorations than to him. "You'll just wind up learning all of her bad habits." 

"I've got a whole lot of bad habits to teach you kiddo, and none of them include reading porn in public.” 

Kakashi-sensei glares at Gina, but she just gives him a mischievous smile in return. 

The Hatake compound, Sakura finds, is nothing like the Haruno compound. The Haruno compound is a lot smaller, yet a lot more busy, consisting of homes and various fabric businesses. People come and go all the time, both those of the Haruno clan as well as outsiders wanting to make business. 

The Hatake compound, in contrast, seems vast and mostly consists of forest from the look of it. One dirt road leads straight up to what she assumes to be the main house, a modest and old fashioned building. Both the house and the road are surrounded by tall, dark trees that seem to cast their shadows everywhere, letting almost no sunshine through. There are scrubby bushes everywhere, and a sensation as if something is watching every step they take. Sakura isn’t sure that she likes it and makes sure to keep close to the others, just to be safe. 

Gin, on the other hand, is happily skipping along ahead, unleashed now that they’re within the compound. Occasionally, Kakashi-sensei will shout a correction at him, and the pup will briefly return to them before running on ahead again. 

Just before the main building, the road splits into three. The largest of the three roads continue ahead, up to the main building, which sports similar New Year’s decorations as the gate. Another, less worn road, leads down to the nearby river, where she spots a smaller but equally old fashioned house. That is where Gina now leads them. 

“Where does the other road lead?” Sakura asks, following the other path with her gaze. It disappears into the forest, with no signs of ever being travelled. 

Both Kakashi and Gina turn around, giving her near identical looks of first vague curiosity and then grimness. 

"Nowhere important," Kakashi-sensei replies. "Don't go there." 

"Why not?" 

"Kakashi is right, Sakura-chan. That way leads to old man Gohei's place and trust me, you don't want to go there." 

Sensing that her curiosity is making them both uncomfortable, Sakura hurries to catch up with them again, but can't resist the temptation of further questions. 

"Is he the great uncle you mentioned, Kakashi-sensei?"

"More like great, great, great uncle!" Gina replies before Kakashi can. "He's ‘bout as old as one can get. He probably even calls the village elders by their first names, and he’s a lot more unpleasant to be around!” 

“Exactly, so stay away from him, Sakura. I mean it.” Kakashi-sensei gives her a stern look. 

Sakura nods obediently, keeping her pouting purely internal. Shesh, seems like he’s determined not to have her interact with anyone in this place. Not his aunt, not his great uncle and not even Gina, though she’s pretty sure he’s only joking when it comes to her. 

The house has been cleaned and warmed up in preparation for their arrival, but the thin paper walls means that the air is still not exactly warm. Tatami mats cover the floors though, providing some barrier against the cold as she steps on them with bare feet. 

Unsurprisingly, the house is bigger than Kakashi-sensei’s current apartment. It consists of two floors, with the bottom floor holding a kitchen, a bathroom and a separate toilet, as well as two other rooms with tatami flooring. A wooden staircase leads to the second floor, and that is where Kakashi and Gina lead her. 

“This is you, Sakura,” Kakashi-sensei says, using a foot to slide the nearest sliding door open since he too is carrying multiple shopping bags. “Best view of the house, trust me.” 

She’d already known that she’d be getting her own room, but there’s still a warmth spreading somewhere in her chest and the thought. Her room. Not a room she has to share with her mother or someone else, not a couch in someone else’s living room where she can sleep. A whole room, just for her. 

In Kakashi-sensei’s house. 

Putting her bags down she steps further into the room, noticing the sliding doors that lead to a closet, but finding herself drawn towards the large windows that take up most of the wall on the opposite side of the door. The view is indeed impressive, opening up to the gently rippling river outside. A rare sliver of sunlight manages to reach through the large tree tops, bathing her in its gentle warmth. It doesn’t even feel like she’s still in the village, but rather alone in the forest somewhere. The abundance of forest on the grounds serves to keep the noise of the village away, giving her a wholly peaceful impression. 

“It’s great,” she says, turning back to Gina and Kakashi. They have already deposited their bags elsewhere. “Are you sure you don’t mind me getting the view?” 

“Nah. My room is bigger anyway.” 

There are in fact three bedrooms, Sakura knows. And Kakashi-sensei occupies two of them. It seems strange, that he’d need two bedrooms for himself, but that had seemed to be the layout of his first apartment too. She shrugs it off as yet another quirk of his. Besides, it’s his house anyway. Who is she to say what he can and cannot do here? 

Kakashi-sensei unseals her belongings from the storage scroll before he and Gina leave her alone to get settled in. Sakura takes another moment to survey the room, the view and the small mountains of things to unpack. 

She starts with her old things: her shirts and dresses are properly hung in the wardrobe, the rest of her clothes are neatly folded and placed into drawers. Her spare weapons and ninja equipment - or what she has left, having lost most of it during her impromptu ice-bath in the ocean - stashed in another drawer, before she lines the top of the bureau with her little collection of scented toiletries. 

With that done she then turns to the shopping bags, another burst of warmth filling her chest. All of these things are from Kakashi-sensei, for her comfort and enjoyment. Never before has she felt so spoiled or welcomed by someone who isn’t her mother. 

With reverent hands she starts to unpack it all: the thick, green curtains, the matching blankets and pillows with little cherry blossom prints and the brand new futon. It’s a matter of minutes to unroll the futon, make her bed and hang the curtains, but the result is a full transformation of the room into something warm and welcoming and somehow hers . 

She fiddles with the curtains a little bit more, unsure of what to make of herself now that she’s unpacked. Eventually, the smell of Kakashi-sensei’s cooking draws her out of her room and down the stairs. 

“-didn’t actually expect you to move in, Kashi, regardless of what Ma said. What changed your mind?” 

Sakura pauses, halfway down the stairs, to listen to the conversation. 

“The apartment was too small already when it was just Sakura and I, but clearly it wasn’t working with Gin too.” 

“Yeah, I guess wolves aren’t meant for living in apartments.” 

“I am serious though; if your mother steps one foot in this house, or if she says one word to Sakura-” 

“You’ll release your mighty wrath upon her, I get it. She knows too, and trust me, she’s too happy to have you both here to jeopardise that.” 

Kakashi-sensei mutters something, too quietly for Sakura to hear, but from the tone of it it’s nothing nice. 

“I know you’re not exactly moving in of your own will, but I really think this will be good,” Gina continues. “You won’t have to worry about Gin running around, and -” 

“It’s rude to eavesdrop, Sakura. Do it better, or don’t do it at all.”

Blushing at having been caught, Sakura takes the last couple of steps down the stairs and joins the others in the kitchen. Kakashi-sensei is cooking again, and the smell is absolutely delicious. Who’d think a man like him knows how to cook? Sakura’s stomach growls appreciatively. 

Kakashi-sensei serves the food out on uneven plates and bowls and the three of them settle down at the low, traditional table. Gin, smelling the food, tries to jump on top of the table, but Kakashi-sensei pushes him down. 

“Bad Gin. Not on the table. Go lay down.” 

It takes a couple of attempts, but eventually the pup settles down by the wall, looking at them with large, pleading eyes that Kakashi-sensei ignores. Sakura finds ignoring those eyes more difficult, and has to force herself to focus on the meal and the conversation. 

“You should get a kotatsu,” Gina says, eagerly serving herself. “These old houses are horrible in the winter otherwise. 

“Another reason I would have preferred to live elsewhere.” 

Gina sticks her tongue out at Kakashi but doesn’t look truly offended. 

“I’d like a kotatsu,” Sakura offers quietly. 

As it will be just her and Kakashi-sensei living here, keeping the house warm will probably become more difficult as the cold gets worse.

“We’ll see about it.” 

“I need to get new harnesses and weights too. And I lost most of my kunai and weapon’s pouch too.” She shivers at the memory of the cold ocean and her near drowning. 

Freezing, cold water. 

Her lungs burning for air, not-quite-numb fingers scratching themselves bloody on the ice, desperately searching for an opening. 

She shakes her head, trying to rid herself of the memories. 

They’ve been back in Konoha for several days already, but between Kakashi-sensei getting called away on a mission, her having to look after Gin and then the abrupt move, they somehow haven’t had the time to get to her need for new weapons and training equipment. Kakashi-sensei had insisted on them prioritising on getting her a new futon and stuff for her room, which seems … well, odd, frankly speaking, for a man like him. 

“Well, most of the shops will be closed during New Years, and I’m leaving for a mission right after, so we’ll do that when I get back,” Kakashi-sensei says, calmly. “It’ll give you time to recover properly too.” 

Sakura barely resists the urge to roll her eyes, because, uh, what’s happened to the stupidly strict Kakashi-sensei who would push her on until she quite literally could not move anymore? “I still want to get back to training again. What else will I do while you’re gone, apart from looking after Gin?” 

“Didn’t I tell you? Since the apprenticeship paperworks is now cleared, you’ll be taking missions with the Genin Corps while I’m gone.” 

That, at least, has Sakura eagerly straightening in her seat. 

“I’ll be taking missions again? For real?” ‘

At her excitement, Gin rushes at the table again, jumping playfully on her even as he eagerly eyes the food. Sakura laughs in surprise and wrestles him down under control, until he’s sitting safely in her lap. He’s still eyeing the food hopefully. Kakashi-sensei gives him a disapproving look but doesn’t scold him or her. 

“For real. Only D-ranked ones though, and I’m still expecting you not to strain yourself too hard.” 

She should probably be disappointed at being restricted to D-ranked missions, but at the moment she’s just happy that she’ll finally be allowed to do missions at all. 

“Thank you, sensei.” 

Gin makes a grab for her food, and Sakura hastily has to pull her plate out of the way. 

“Hah, soon both you and Gin will be big enough to join Kakashi on missions, Sakura-chan,” Gina laughs, ruffling Sakura’s hair. “I bet you’ll both be super cute, trailing after him like little ducklings after their mother!” 

She blushes, but there’s a warmth in her stomach at the thought. 

Kakashi-sensei pointedly snatches Gina’s plate away and tells her to get out. Considering that she eventually does manage to wrestle him down enough to get her plate back, he probably doesn’t mean it seriously. 

“By the way, do you guys have any plans for New Years yet?” Gina asks towards the end of the meal. 

Sakura glances at Kakashi-sensei, noticing that he’s looking at her too. He raises an eyebrow questioningly at her, and she looks down at her plate again. She pokes at the food with her chopsticks, suddenly not really hungry again. 

“I don’t. I’d usually celebrate with mom and the rest of the family, but …” 

But she’ll never get to celebrate the New Year with her mother again. Nor with the rest of the Haruno Clan either. Her throat suddenly seems too tight, her eyes stinging with tears at the realisation. It’s not really a surprise, but the pain is suddenly acute. 

She could spend the holiday with some of her friends, but it’s probably too late to plan something anyway. Ino is probably celebrating with her clan, and the Yamanaka have a whole thing about celebrating with the Nara and Akimichi too. Aimi and Takeshi will probably be celebrating with their parents. That leaves Tomomi and Hajime. Hajime likes to spend the weekends and holidays drinking, she knows from previous experience. Tomomi probably already has plans. 

“Well, you both could join the rest of us, if you’d like? I mean, Ma, Pa and me. Gohei might show too, but I doubt it. We like to have dinner together, and then head to the shrine at midnight.” 

“Which shrine?” Sakura asks curiously. Konoha has a number of them, and she’s been to a couple of them, but not all. It’s tradition, of course, to visit the shrine at the beginning of the new year, but she’s never been at midnight before. 

“Oh, you wouldn’t know it,” Gina explains. “There’s actually a local shrine here in the Compound, dedicated to the Okami. It’s like a smaller version of the one at Okami Island. The Hatake clan have tended to it for generations.” She glances hesitantly at Kakashi at the last part. 

Sakura looks at him too, but he’s unreadable. Sometimes she thinks she can read him, despite the mask and the headband, but other times he just looks blank. 

“Thank you for the invitation,” is all he says. 

From that, Sakura surmises that they probably won’t be joining the rest of the Hatake-clan in their celebrations. 

Too bad, she thinks. She’s getting more and more curious about these supposedly completely untrustworthy people from Kakashi-sensei’s mysterious past. 

If they’re anything like Gina or Commander Hatake, she rather thinks she’ll like them. 

“Sakura!”

Kakashi catches his apprentice’s small, fragile body in his arms, staring down at her bloodied and bruised face. 

“Sen-sei,” she stutters, her voice weak, barely more than a breath. “Why didn’t you …” 

Her eyes glaze over, staring into an abyss he can no longer protect her from. Her body, already so small and light in his arms, goes completely limp. 

“Sakura!” he cries helplessly. “Sakura!” 

A shadow suddenly looms over him. “Told you you weren’t man enough to protect her, boy .” 

There’s a fist-sized hole in her chest and the smell of ozone and burned flesh in the air. His own hand is bloody as he shakes her lifeless body. 

“This is your fault, you know, and-”

“Sakura!” 

Kakashi sits up, drenched in sweat, staring wildly around the room. It takes him a moment to orient himself, recognising the walls of his old childhood bedroom. Once he does, he hesitantly lowers the kunai in his hand, just in time for Gin to jump at him, nuzzling up against him and showering him with loving little licks. 

“Just a nightmare,” Kakashi quietly tells the wolf. “Nothing to worry about.” 

He’s in the house in the Hatake Compound. 

Gin is here, and Sakura is most likely sleeping in her bedroom on the other side of the hallway. 

Perfectly safe. 

Nothing for him to be afraid of. 

With a shuddering breath he forces himself to relax. Gently, he pushes Gin aside and stands, before stepping on soundless feet across the room and out into the hallway. The sliding door to Sakura’s bedroom makes a slight, squeaking noise that nevertheless fails to wake her up. Kakashi isn’t sure if he should envy her the kind of peace or train it out of her as soon as possible. 

Either way, she is indeed safely asleep in her bed. The covers are pulled all the way up to her chin, and the room itself is cold enough that her breath forms a small cloud every time she breathes out. He makes a mental note of getting some heaters, to properly warm these rooms up. 

Gin tries to rush into the room, but Kakashi blocks him with a foot and closes the door quietly again. Still, he remains standing outside her bedroom, just listening to her breathing for another couple of minutes, until his chest stops feeling quite so tight and he can breathe more easily again. 

Realising that he’s unlikely to get much more sleep tonight he makes his way downstairs and steps out onto the veranda. A thin layer of snow has fallen, covering the ground in white. Gin eagerly rushes out, tracing the tracks of any mice or squirrels that have been active since last night. 

He remains there, standing at the veranda, mindlessly watching the slowly falling snow. The creak running beside the house hasn’t frozen over yet, and the surface glitters softly in the moonlight. The sound of the slowly flowing water helps calm his quickly beating heart. 

“Kakashi-sensei?” 

He doesn’t startle from her voice, having heard her get up and head downstairs. “Can’t sleep?” he asks quietly. 

She shudders a little in the cold draft from the door, pulling her night robe closer around herself. 

“I had a nightmare,” she offers by way of explanation. “Thought I’d make myself a cup of tea or something. You?” 

He considers lying; saying that Gin woke him up or something equally plausible. There’s numerous little lies he could tell that she’d accept without pause. 

“Same.” 

“Do you want some tea too, or ..?” 

With a whistle he recalls Gin, who quickly comes rushing through the snow. As soon as he’s entered the house he shakes himself, getting half-melted snow everywhere. 

“I’ll make some. How ‘bout you feed Gin?” 

She nods in wordless agreement and they set to their individual tasks. Preparing Gin’s breakfast doesn’t require any actual cooking, which is perfect for Sakura, and preparing the tea requires very little of Kakashi’s attention, leaving him free to watch his two pups. 

She’s alive, he reminds himself. Alive and safe here in Konoha. Her eyes seem large in her pale face, but her worried frown is quickly disappearing thanks to Gin’s antics. Still, Kakashi doesn’t like the haunted look in her eyes, which speaks of nightmares probably similar to his own. 

When the tea is done they settle down at the table, and Kakashi notes in the back of his mind that Gina is right. A proper kotatsu would be wonderful to have. 

And slippers. He’ll buy some nice, warm slippers for both himself and Sakura as soon as possible. 

Slowly the cold dread of the nightmare leaves him. Which does not mean that he is without worry - far from it. There are plenty of real-life terrors that rival the nightmares. He tries to tell himself that he’s made the right choice. He’s finally trying to do right by Sakura, and as much as he’s still sceptical about moving back here he sees no other solution that suits both Sakura and Gin. 

He’s doing the best that he can for his pups. He’s trying , damnit! All he can do is hope that it’ll prove enough in the end. He doesn’t regret taking her on as his apprentice, but every time he looks at her there’s a devastating terror of responsibility that threatens to overwhelm him. 

People close to him die. 

Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei and so very, very nearly Sakura too. If it weren’t for Gina … He shudders at the thought, but that’s surprisingly one of his main reasons for actually going through with this move. If it weren’t for his … he doesn’t like to use the word trust , but … sudden lack of animosity towards Gina … and the firm conviction that even Kichiro would look after Sakura … he’d never have done it. He doesn’t think so. He would have had to find another way. Perhaps by getting some kind of long-term mission outside of Konoha, where he could keep Gin and Sakura relatively safe while he worked, or … well, it doesn’t really matter. 

Things are what they are, and having both Sakura and Gin safely stored within Konoha walls whenever he cannot look after them himself is a huge comfort, even if that comfort comes with its own kind of dangers. 

When he’s done with his tea, Kakashi returns to the kitchen to get breakfast started. 

A little bit later Sakura quietly heads for the bathroom. 

Half an hour later she’s back, bathed and dressed for the day. They settle down for breakfast. It’s a fairly simple meal, as he hasn’t bothered to stock up on too much yet. That will need to change, however. 

“We should go shopping later, when the stores open,” Kakashi says quietly. “What’s your favourite food for the New Year?” 

She shrugs her shoulders without really answering. 

“I mean, I could make full on traditional Osechi Ryori, but it’d help to know what you like?” Kakashi continues, his voice taking on a vaguely teasing tone. “So what do you want? Noodles? Shrimp? Or perhaps you’re more about the mochi or the red bean paste?” 

Finally she offers him a smile over the rim of her bowl of miso soup. 

“I don’t think I’m that much of a picky eater. I’ll eat anything you’d like to make, sensei. 

He opens his mouth to respond, to tell her that she still hasn’t really answered his question, but before he can speak she continues: 

“I do like anmitsu though. And dumplings.” 

“I can make anmitsu.” He’s not too fond of sweet things himself, but he’s sure he can manage some anmitsu if it’ll make her happy. 

“Thank you, sensei.” 

“Now personally, I like anything with eggplant in it,” Kakashi offers. 

She gives him a brief, confused look before shifting into an understanding smile. 

“I like eggplant too, at least as long as it doesn’t get too spicy.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

They’ve barely taken five steps outside of the Hatake Compound when the incident happens. 

It’s preceded by a surprisingly shrill “Sakuraaa-saaaan!” that gives Sakura just enough time to lock her feet in place before two hands land on her shoulders. 

“Found you at last, Sakura-san!” 

Her heart is still beating a little too hard from the sudden close contact, and she doesn’t have the heart to tell him off either. Instead she just turns to give Lee a mildly confused look. 

“Found me?” 

“Indeed, Sakura-chan! You have proven to be a worthy rival indeed, outclassing me so thoroughly in our challenge of hide and seek.”

Oh, she thinks. Forgot about that. She glances at Kakashi-sensei, who has his face buried in a book and seems entirely unaware of their conversation - if not for the fact that he’s halted to wait for her in. 

“Sorry!” she says sheepishly. “Kakashi-sensei and I sort of got a mission and had to leave in a hurry, so I guess I forgot to tell you.” 

“No apology needed, Sakura-chan!” Gai-sensei’s voice booms as he comes up on her other side, flashing her a smile with far too bright teeth. “It only makes sense after all, for the apprentice of my cool and hip eternal rival to be almost as cool and hip as her master! Right, Kakashi?” 

“Exactly!” Lee agrees. “I need to accept my defeat with dignity, and for losing our contest so thoroughly I will run two hundred laps around this village! Won’t you join me, Sakura-san?” 

Torn between guilt and embarrassment she glances again at Kakashi-sensei, who’s apparently not going to help her out of this situation. 

“Sorry, I’m under medic’s orders to take it easy for the next few days. Maybe another time?” She tries to soften the words with an apologetic smile, because of course she has no plans on ever joining him for a whole two hundred laps around the village, especially seeing how she’s still struggling with her mere two laps. 

Lee, however, seems wholly unaware of her intentions. “Another time then, Sakura-san!” 

With those words he hurries on his steps again, heading back for the village wall from where he’d come from his usual morning run. His other two teammates are already waiting for him, looking vaguely annoyed at the interruption to their training. 

“See you tomorrow morning, Great Rival!” Gai says, offering Kakashi-sensei a thumbs up. “For another great challenge between Eternal Rivals!” 

Kakashi simply waves him off, not bothering to even reply. 

“Should I be concerned?” Sakura asks quietly when they’re alone again. “About this … rivalry? I mean, they’re both so … intense.” 

“Friendly rivalry is a good motivator,” Kakashi-sensei replies, still not looking up from his book as they continue towards the market place. “However, as my apprentice, I hope you realise that I cannot have you be less than equal with Lee in your challenges, or else it’d reflect badly back on me. Which, I don’t need to tell you, would make things less than comfortable for you.” 

The last part is said with an edge of danger that almost has Sakura shivering in her tracks. 

“Well, I’ll just have to make sure I don’t lose then, won’t I? Not too often at least.” 

“Good girl.” 

His hand ruffles her hair, and she squeaks in indignation, quickly trying to slap his hands away. Even so, her cheeks are flushing with satisfaction at the praise. 

“Are you sure about this?” 

“Absolutely! Trust me, Sakura-chan, I am one-hundred percent certain that-” 

“You’re wrong.” 

“Yeah, according to the instructions you’re supposed to use these screws. They’re longer, see?” 

Sakura looks from Lee’s slowly fading smile to Neji’s vaguely annoyed face and then to Tenten’s patient-but-just-barely-so expression. Then she looks down on the piles of screws, wood and stuffed cushions on the floor. She sighs to herself. Who’d thought assembling a couch would be so difficult? 

“Okay, let’s look at the instructions again,” she suggests, letting go of the (back-panel? Bottom-panel?) she’d been trying to affix to the part Lee’s holding. 

They gather around the instructions again, trying to figure them out. Neji and Tenten are the quickest there, forcing Sakura to try to read everything upside down. 

“See?” Tenten says, pointing to a diagram. “You’re supposed to use the 2B-screws, not the 2E-ones.” 

“But didn’t we use those for-” 

“No, that was the 1B-screws.” 

“And don’t forget the plugs either.” 

“I see, I see. As always, you’re correct, Tenten.” Lee reaches for another pile of screws. 

“No!” Sakura, Tenten and Neji chorus. 

“Those are the 3B-screws!” 

Lee frowns, confused. 

“How’s it going?” Kakashi-sensei asks from the doorway. 

Sakura just glances at him, still trying to understand the directions in front of her, before doing a double take. Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei have both exchanged their jounin vests for matching, kunai-patterned aprons. With their sleeves rolled up and, in Gai-sensei’s case, a large spot of flour on one cheek, they look surprisingly homely. Considering that they’re, y’know, jounin. And single men. Professional killers, and all that stuff. 

“Oh, it’s going fine indeed!” Lee reassures the adults, as if he hasn’t spent the last forty minutes constantly reaching for the wrong screws or misinterpreting the directions. “We’ll have this couch assembled in no time, don’t worry, we won’t let you down!” 

Kakashi-sensei makes a doubtful sound. “Anyway, the food will be ready in about ten minutes, so why don’t you take a break and continue later?”

“Oh, but we’re almost finished here anyway, we couldn’t possibly give up until-” 

Tenten slaps her hand over Lee’s mouth, forcefully silencing him. 

“That sounds great! Why don’t you help set the table, Lee, while the three of us, uh, make sure we haven’t mixed up the screws and everything?” 

Given a new task to focus on, Lee eagerly disappears into the kitchen with the adults. Sakura breathes a sigh of relief, before she too is pushed aside. 

Within minutes Neji and Tenten have the couch - a gift from Gai-sensei to Kakashi - properly assembled. And if there’s a couple of extra screws left over … well, it certainly looks fine anyway, Sakura thinks, deciding not to question the sturdiness of their work. 

Between Gai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei both cooking, the meal is a veritable feast. It’s a late lunch/early dinner - Linner? Sakura thinks. Or is it dunch? - consisting of all of the traditional new year’s eve foods. There’s two types of datemaki, the rolled omelette, one mixed with fish and one with mashed shrimp, as well as broiled fish cake, seaweed, soybeans, pickled daikon and carrots, fried fish, dried sardines in soy sauce, a soup with mochi rice cakes, miso soup, skewered prawns, sashimi, sushi, egg roulades and much more. For dessert, there’s a soup made from sweet red beans, served with toasted mochi and shiratama dango. 

Sakura sits down between Kakashi-sensei and Tenten, unable not to stare at all the food. Did Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei really make all of this? 

“Before we eat, there’s something else we need to do first!” Gai-sensei exclaims, clapping his hands together. 

Lee, Tenten and even Neji straighten in their seats, and a moment later Gai-sensei produces four decorated envelopes which he hands to each of his students and then Sakura. 

“Otoshidama?” Sakura asks. She’s aware of the practice of course, has even received the monetary gift from many of her relatives in the past, but she wouldn’t have expected Gai-sensei to be giving such gifts to his students, much less to her. They’re not related, after all. And she’s technically an adult, isn’t she? 

“Of course!” Gai-sensei’s smile is almost blinding. “Your teammates are like a family, aren’t they? And you’re my esteemed rival’s apprentice.” 

Sakura blinks, still struggling to accept the fact that he’s giving her a gift just like that. 

“Thank you,” she manages at last, bowing her head respectfully. 

Wordlessly, Kakashi-sensei slides another envelope across the table to her. It’s thicker than the one from Gai-sensei, she notes distantly, mumbling another “thank you” as she bows her head again. 

It shouldn’t feel this strange. She’s gotten plenty of Otoshidama before; from her mother, her aunt and uncle, grandmother as well as the extended Haruno Clan. It’s not like it’s a new experience, and yet … and yet she has to discreetly wipe her eyes, because she’d rather die than have anyone notice that she’s crying. 

Stupid tears, she thinks to herself. And then, with a smile, stupid sensei for making her feel like she’s got a family again. Like he’s her family now. 

Almost like a father. 

She’s never had one before, not that she can remember, but she imagines that having one wouldn’t be too different from having a Kakashi-sensei. 

“Itadakimasu,” the others say, startling her out of her reverie. 

Hastily, Sakura pockets her two envelopes and slaps her hands together, repeating the phrase herself. “Itadakimasu. Thank you for the food Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei.” 

They eat. 

And eat and eat and eat. 

Gai-sensei regales them all with tales of challenges between Kakashi and him, or adventures they’ve been on. Sometimes Lee or Tenten or Neji will cut in, asking a question or making a parallel to a mission of theirs. 

The adults share a bottle of sake. Curiously, Gai-sensei’s stories grow more and more spectacular as the contents of the bottle diminishes. 

If Kakashi-sensei is at all affected by the alcoholic drink, then it’s not enough to be percetable to Sakura. 

By the time Gai-sensei and his team leave it is already late in the evening. By then, they’ve helped clean all of the dirty dishes and put the leftovers away in the fridge, leaving Sakura and Kakashi-sensei to languish lazily on the new couch. Which is proving to be quite sturdy, actually, despite the leftover screws. Sakura decides that Neji and Tenten apparently know what they’re doing after all. 

Unsurprisingly, they fall asleep like that. 

They wake at midnight, to the ringing of the temple bells, only to wish each other a happy new year and make their way to their respective bedrooms. 

All in all, Sakura considers it a good New Years Eve. 

The first day of the new year is spent mostly languishing around the house and enjoying the leftovers from the day before. Kakashi joins her on a brief trip to a nearby temple, where Sakura buys them each a lucky charm. He raises a doubtful eyebrow at her as she hands him his, but quietly accepts the gifts and puts it in the front pocket of his vest. 

Of course, the first visit to the temple of the new year isn’t complete without a fortune telling for the coming year, so Sakura lines up to buy herself one of those as well, while Kakashi-sensei dutifully remains by her side, book in hand. 

Once she’s got her fortune Sakura steps aside from the mass of people, finding a calmer spot underneath a tree, where she carefully unfolds the little paper strip with her fortune. The words very bad luck to come stares ominously back at her. 

“More bad luck?” she grouses to herself. 

Kakashi-sensei makes a noise of worry and looks up from his book, reading the fortune over her shoulder. 

“Family trouble, bad health and bad work,” he summarises. “You hit the trifecta at that one. But hey, at least love is good.” The last part is said with a teasing tone that has Sakura blushing immediately. 

“Well, I’m certainly not bringing this with me back home,” Sakura mutters, tying the fortune around the nearest tree branch. 

“Want to try an ema instead?” 

Sakura glances at the wooden plaques but shakes her head after a moment of consideration. What would she write on it anyway? What are her hopes and wishes for the new year? With a sinking sensation in her stomach, she realises that she doesn’t know. She’s always wished for good luck in school, for her mother’s health and for Sasuke to notice her and finally fall madly in love with her. 

“I’m good,” she tells Kakashi-sensei quietly. 

“You sure?” 

She nods, and they head back towards the Hatake compound in companionable silence. 

In just a couple of months, she’ll have officially been a shinobi for a full year, Sakura thinks. Much has changed in that year. Her mother is gone. So is her relationship with the Haruno clan, her naive love of Sasuke and her childish dream of becoming both a lady and a shinobi. 

On the other hand, she’s grown a lot. She’s learned to climb trees and walk on water, to channel chakra to make herself stronger and increase her endurance. She’s fought and killed people. Saved people. 

It’s been a tough year, Sakura thinks, but there’s been good parts too. Her friendship with Hajime, Tomomi, Aimi and Takeshi. The brief camaraderie of team 7 before things went sour, not to mention this new relationship with Kakashi-sensei. Her apprenticeship. 

Anyway, the next year can’t really be any worse, can it? That thought is, strangely enough, comforting. 

After dinner, as she’s helping Kakashi-sensei with the dishes, he tells her that he’ll be going out. 

“It’s Gai’s birthday,” he tells her. “We usually have a couple of drinks together, if we’re both in Konoha, but I shouldn’t be too late.” 

“In other words you’ll probably be home at three in the morning, right sensei?” Sakura smiles cheekily at him, remembering the many, many hours spent waiting for him while he’s late. 

“Hah. Really funny.” 

When Sakura wakes in the morning, she finds a note taped to her door asking her to please be quiet because Kakashi will be sleeping in. Having heard him arrive home quite late - as she had predicted, by the way - Sakura only smiles and tiptoes downstairs to make herself some breakfast, Gin in tow. 

Feeding Gin, Sakura then eats her breakfast in silence, staring out the kitchen window. There’s a restlessness in her, she realises. An itch to get out, to do something . She’s not used to this prolonged relaxation and just lounging about, and although it has been nice with break she’s now eager to get back to routines again. 

With that in mind, Sakura decides to be a good apprentice and leave Kakashi-sensei to sleep in as long as he wants. She lets Gin out to explore the compound and sets out for a morning jog. 

Despite everything, she finds running somewhat easier than before the trip to Okami Island, despite having recently lost some muscle mass. Running more or less all day, every day, for almost a week apparently does things to her leg muscles, even after another week of being bedridden. 

That of course does not mean that the rest of her muscles agree any more with the exercise than before. Her chakra answers eagerly to her will, even as she forces it down until the only thing it’s doing is keeping her from falling off of the wall. This in turn means that she has fewer slip ups and less opportunity to soothe her poor, aching muscles. Before the first lap is over, she’s gritting her teeth in effort. 

She takes a brief pause to breathe, considering the option of calling it a day already. It’s tempting, but eventually she turns around and starts on her second lap. She thinks of avalanches and wolves and monster bears as she runs, and somehow it’s enough motivation for her to complete the whole second lap. 

Still panting, she then sits down on the nearest rooftop, wearily sinking into meditation. She hasn’t tried meditating since she returned to the village and quite frankly she is nervous to try it. But her muscles are aching and she knows she can’t avoid this forever. 

Someone will come by sooner or later and find her if she doesn’t wake up, she reasons with herself. 

Her chakra answers immediately, automatically falling into the rhythm to keep herself warm. She experiments with that a little, altering the density until her chakra is a nice, softly cooling power within her. It feels nice but soon becomes less so in the cold morning air, so she instead focuses on soothing her muscles. 

She peeks an eye open, taking note of the position of the sun and the fact that she is indeed able to do so to begin with. It is still early and Kakashi-sensei is unlikely to wake for another good while. 

Meaning that there’s no good reason for her not to continue her experimentations. 

She should probably ask someone to supervise, she thinks. Or check with Kakashi-sensei, at least. Chakra meditation is dangerous, after all. She doesn’t want to get caught in her own mind again. 

But then, asking for help will mean having to share what she’s attempting to do; share the suspicion that she’s not alone in her own mind. How is she supposed to explain that and not get locked into T&I for the foreseeable future? Better then to try on her own, and see for herself first if she’s really going insane or not. 

Yeah, she decides. She’ll do that. 

She closes her eyes again, taking a deep, fortifying breath. Feeling foolish, she realises that she doesn’t know how to do this. She’d been dying, back on the ice. Her only memory is that of the cold. 

Frowning, she recalls the sensation of being very, very cold. Colder than she’d ever been in her entire life. And scared. Terrified, really.

With the absolute conviction that she was about to die, she’d focused all of her attention on her chakra - on keeping herself warm - knowing that it was the only chance she had at survival. 

She starts there, focusing on her chakra and its slow, steady flow in her body. 

Time passes. She adjusts her position slightly, scratching at her neck absentmindedly. Her chakra flows easily. Perfectly. Without the need for her whole attention, making her attempts somewhat like trying to focus entirely on paint drying on a wall. 

Distantly, she senses other people and their chakra moving about, but that’s not what she’s trying to focus on right now! No, she’s trying to focus on her own chakra. On how it flows easily through her body, in perfect harmony with the beating of her heart and her slow, even breath. 

In. 

And. 

Out. 

Again. 

And. 

Again. 

The rooftop is hard and uncomfortable to sit on. 

The air is starting to get cold and she shivers lightly in the wind. 

“This isn’t working,” she mutters to herself, flopping over to lie on her back. Her eyes track a cloud above and she frowns at it, as if it is purposely hiding the answers she’s seeking. What did she do back then to end up in that place? To find that other self? 

“Maybe I just imagined it,” she tells the cloud. “Maybe it was just a hallucination.” 

It’s not unheard of to get those, when you are close to death, she remembers learning in the Academy. They hadn’t really touched much at all on the subject of death, but Iruka-sensei had mentioned that in particularly dangerous situations some people saw their lives flashing by, while others might experience hallucinations.

At least that’s one possible explanation, other than her being insane. 

Eventually she grows chilly, sitting still in the cold air, and so she heads for the marketplace to see if any of the shops are open. Most are closed of course, being so close to New Year’s, but some are open anyway. She treats herself to some sweets from an old man selling fresh dango, and afterwards she heads for Tanigawa Armory. 

It’s open, and she’s halfway through the door when she notices that it’s Tanigawa himself manning the counter. Abruptly, she recalls their last, horrifyingly embarrassing meeting. Her face heats up and for a moment she considers making an escape, but then he looks up and spots her. Which of course makes it impossible for her to run without also losing any semblance of dignity she might still have left. So she straightens her back and saunters over to the counter. 

“What can I do for you?” he greets her, his voice polite yet warm and welcoming. There are no traces of the strange distance she recalls from the last time, nor of the teasing she’s grown used to hearing from him. 

Well, if he can pretend like nothing happened last time they saw each other, then she certainly won’t stop him. 

“I need new harnesses and weights.” She gesticulates to show her bare wrists and ankles.

“Did you not like the other ones?” He gets up, heading for the corner with the weights and giving her a slight frown. 

Sakura follows, swallowing. Suddenly, her mouth feels too dry. 

“No, they were good. I just … lost them, sort of. On a mission.” 

“Oh. Well then, your sensei did open a line of credit for you, so I suppose that’s fine.” 

He finds the appropriate harnesses and holds them up, helping her to put them on. His hands are gentle, fingers warm as they shift against her skin. Goosebumps rise on her arms and she has to resist the urge to say something stupid, like how nice his hair looks or … how good he smells … or … 

“I fell through the ice on the ocean,” she tells him, trying to distract herself from such strange thoughts. “Up north. By the Iron Highlands.” 

He glances at her before kneeling to attach the ankle harnesses. 

“I, uh, got swept away by the currents. The weights pulled me down, and I guess I sort of panicked before I remembered how to take them off. And then I couldn’t find the hole again, so I couldn’t get up anyway and for a while I really thought I wasn’t going to make it anyway and -” 

She’s rambling, she realises. And his hands have stopped, halfway through attaching her ankle harnesses. His large, yellow irises reflex the light of the lamps as he looks up at her, his mouth slightly agape. She snaps her own closed, cheeks heating again. 

“Sorry,” she tells him. “I didn’t mean to … ramble.” 

“No worries.” 

There is a strange tone to his voice and his hands tremble a little as he finally returns to the task of attaching the weights. 

“I’m glad you made it.” He picks up a weight and adds it to the harness. 

“Me too. Would have been kind of embarrassing to accidentally kill myself as well as the bear.” 

Her voice is higher than normal, the cheerfulness entirely too forced to be natural. She wishes for the floor to open up and swallow her, but Tanigawa smiles at her, even raising an eyebrow as if he’s doubting her words. 

“A bear? Don’t they hibernate in winter?”  

“Well, this one didn’t, I suppose. Maybe the avalanche woke it up or something.” 

“Now I know you’re trying to bamboozle me,” he says, standing up again and reaching for the wrist weights. “Almost drowning, avalanches and a bear?” 

“Well, I’m not making it up!” 

“Sure you aren’t!” 

He flashes her a smile that plainly says he doesn't believe a word of what she’s saying and she feels her cheeks grow impossibly hotter, though this time it’s at least partly anger. 

“I’m not lying!” 

“Hey, I’m not complaining! Whether you lost them while almost drowning in the ocean or just misplaced them doesn’t matter to me, as long as you come back to buy new ones.” 

Her hand forms into a fist and as soon as he is finished attaching the weight she pulls the arm to herself, glaring at him. 

“Well, see if I’ll return again with you being this rude!” 

To her consternation he just laughs at her, already heading over to the counter again to ring her up. 

“Anything else today or did you just come here to try and impress me?” 

“I wasn’t trying to impress you! I just needed new weights!” 

“Sure, sure.” 

She glares at him for a couple of moments before swallowing her pride. “I need some new kunai too. And shuriken, exploding tags, a pouch and … well, pretty much everything.” 

He raises his eyebrow again but obligingly leads her to the display of kunai and shuriken, helping her pick out a couple of sets of everything she’ll need: the requested kunai, shuriken and exploding tags, as well as ninja wire, smoke grenades, flash bombs, whetstone, fire steel and so on. By the time they return to the desk, Sakura has her arms full of stuff. 

He rings her up before handing her a sheet of paper. 

“Sign here, please.” 

She does, eager to get this done with so that she can leave the store at last. His patronising smile lingers in her mind long after.

Chapter Text

Mid-morning, the Genin Corps’ Headquarters is mostly empty, leaving Sakura to make her way to the Commander’s office in silence. Her limbs are pleasantly exhausted after another decent morning of working out and she has to resist the momentary urge to skip. She’s back in Konoha, living with Kakashi and finally back to doing missions again. 

Life is good. 

“Sakura?” the Commander exclaims as she knocks on his door, which is ajar as usual. “I thought Kakashi had you on rest for the time being?” 

Sakura makes a face before coming to a halt before his desk. 

“I have done nothing but rest for the last week . Please tell me you’ve got a mission for me?” 

His smile is understanding and reassuring. 

"I'm sure we can find you something to do to keep you from getting too bored. Let's see …" 

He reaches for a scroll, unfurls it and studies it for a minute. From previous experience she knows it to be a list of all the missions being done by the genin corps that day. 

"Hajime and Tomomi are out of the village on a C-rank at the moment, but Aimi and Takeshi are helping clean the big square over by the Academy after the New Year festival, if you’d like to join them?” 

“Yeah, sure!” 

Is she a little bit disappointed to be restricted to D-ranked missions? Maybe. 

Is she maybe just a little bit disappointed to have a mission that will almost take her back to the Academy?  … maybe? 

But this is her first mission in over a month - since becoming Kakashi-sensei’s apprentice. She should be grateful that she’s allowed to do missions at all, not envious of Hajime and Tomomi being away on a C-rank. 

“Something wrong?” The Commander frowns worriedly at her. “There are other options, if you feel-” 

“No, I’m fine. Thank you! I’ll report over to them and-” 

“Sakura.” He raises an eyebrow, giving her a calm but demanding look. “Don’t lie.” 

The forced smile melts away from her face, much against her will. 

“Now, tell me what bothers you.” 

She averts her eyes and takes a deep breath, eventually settling her gaze on the potted plant that the Commander keeps on the corner of his desk. It’s a neat little bonsai tree, and she’s never noticed before just how beautiful it looks in the sunshine. 

“I don’t want to be ungrateful.” 

“But?” The Commander’s voice is calm and warm. 

Yeah, that’s the question, isn’t it? 

It’s been a week since their return from Okami Island and her near death at the hands - or paws rather - of that bear. She’s happy to be able to enjoy the luxury of a proper bath again, not to mention sleeping in a proper bed and even having her own room in Kakashi-sensei’s house. 

So, why isn’t she happy? It’s not as if she wants to be sent out on some dangerous mission, given everything she’s experienced recently. 

Or … does she? 

The Commander smiles ruefully at her. “Let me guess; you want to try spreading your wings a little bit more? Straining for something new and challenging?” 

A blush warms her cheek, and Sakura looks away again. 

“I don’t want to-” 

“-seem ungrateful, yes, I realise. But you are nearing a full year as a genin, and you’ve got less than a handful C-ranked missions under your belt.” 

That’s … almost frighteningly accurate. Sakura isn’t sure she could have put it more clearly into words even if she’d tried. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“It’s perfectly natural to feel that way. You’ve been in a grey zone for a long time - first when your teammates were away on a mission, and then again after the Chunin Exams. You’ve lost a lot of opportunities to gain experience; opportunities that have otherwise been afforded to your yearmates. On top of that, you’ve risked and lost a lot more than most of them.” 

Sakura cannot resist the urge to squirm where she’s standing, uncomfortable under the Commander’s gaze. It’s as if he’s reading her mind, putting words to things even she hasn’t been able to fully piece together yet. 

“If it were up to me, you’d be doing mainly C-ranks for the foreseeable future, expanding your experience and repertoire,” the Commander continues. “However, as it is, you’re Kakashi’s apprentice, so it’s up to him to decide.” 

“And Kakashi-sensei will only let me do D-ranks.” 

“For the time being, yes.” 

Sakura swallows around the lump in her throat. “Did he say why?” 

Pre-Okami-Island Kakashi-sensei was ready to push her until she collapsed from exhaustion, but now he suddenly seems to be handling her with baby gloves. As if she’s made out of glass or something. 

The Commander shakes his head. “Just that you were injured during your excursion and needed to rest.” 

Her nails dig into the palm of her hands, helping her centre herself and keep the confusing mixture of emotions in check. Anger and disappointment, mostly, but also that strange warmth in her chest from knowing that he cares. 

Either way, Kakashi-sensei left for another mission just that morning, so she won’t be able to convince him to change his mind just yet. And arguing with Commander Hatake won’t lead anywhere, considering that she’s now Kakashi’s apprentice. So Sakura swallows, pushing the emotions aside. 

“Thank you. I’ll report to Aimi and Takeshi.” 

She turns around to leave, but just as she reaches for the door he speaks again. 

“I’ll talk to Kakashi when he returns, see what I can do. I’m not making any promises though.” 

As the first few days of the new year turns into a week, and then two weeks, three weeks and so on, life slowly settles into a routine again for Sakura. 

In the mornings, she does her morning jog, practises her kata and finishes with chakra meditation. Afterwards, she heads back to the house in the Hatake Compound to wash off and get changed before heading for the Genin Corps’ Headquarters to do missions. 

Like earlier, she works mostly with Hajime, Tomomi, Aimi and Takeshi, or whichever constellation of the four that remains in Konoha at the moment. They work alongside the carpenters and engineers to rebuild Konoha, repair homes and buildings, tear down buildings that are too damaged to save, help clear the fields for the harvest season, chase down missing pets, collect trash and on and on and on. 

If she’s lucky, Kakashi-sensei will be home when she returns home and she’ll find him cooking dinner for the both of them. If not, she’ll settle for a bento box left behind by him or fast food for dinner. Mostly, he’s kept busy with missions, which means that she spends a lot of evenings eating instant ramen and playing with Gin. His recall is getting a lot better, and she has yet to win a tug of war against him. 

“When will we start training again?” she asks Kakashi when he’s home. 

“We’ll see,” he replies. “I want you to properly recuperate first.” 

That too repeats. Over and over and over again, despite Sakura’s repeated reassurances that she’s fine and more than ready to start training again. 

Frustrated and bored, she turns elsewhere for training. She continues her solitary morning exercise regimen, but in the evenings she joins Hajime, Tomomi, Aimi and Takeshi. If nothing else, the four of them are good company, and all of them are good sparring partners. Granted, neither Aimi nor Takeshi can quite keep up with her anymore, but Sakura has a great deal of fun helping them figure out how to improve. 

Hajime and Tomomi make more difficult sparring partners. Sakura has won once against Hajime, and never against Tomomi, but she’s determined to change that fact. So she starts experimenting. 

The one time she’s won against Hajime she’d brought the fight out onto the river, and she’d won by utilising the water, so she tries to repeat that. 

“It’s winter!” Hajime calls as she backs out onto the river. “You’ll catch your death if you fall in now!” 

“Then you’d better come get me,” she taunts. 

He hesitates, but eventually he’s forced to follow her. 

She wins. Not necessarily out of sheer skill, but mostly because Hajime is too busy focusing on his own feet to pay attention to her sweeping kick. He goes in and, like he’d warned her, catches a cold for it. Feeling guilty, Sakura decides not to repeat the experiment. 

Instead, she tries other approaches. If she’s better than Hajime at waterwalking, perhaps she’ll have the advantage in other environments too? She takes their fights to the rooftop of the dormitory and then the tree tops and again she wins. 

On even ground she still wins about 50% of the time, but by changing the environment of their fights she wins against Hajime more and more. 

Tomomi’s chakra control is a bit better than Hajime’s, and so she’s able to keep up with Sakura better, but eventually she too starts to lose. 

Aimi and Takeshi take her on two against one, and Sakura wins. 

Hajime and Tomomi try the same, and Sakura still wins roughly a third of the time. 

“Another time,” Kakashi-sensei tells her when she asks him to spar with her. “You still need to recuperate, and I have a mission in the morning.” 

Sakura bites her tongue on an angry retort and tries to simply enjoy his cooking. 

One afternoon when Sakura is returning home from a mission with Aimi and Takeshi she finds herself arriving at the compound gates at the same time as Gina. Sakura holds the gate open for the older kunoichi, and the two of them fall into step next to each other as they head up the dirt road together. 

“You’ve been training?” Gina asks. 

“Mission, actually. D-rank, but still.” 

“Right. You know, it’s easy to forget that you work with Pa too, given that you’re Kakashi’s apprentice.” 

“Well, I like it,” Sakura shrugs. “Commander Hatake is good.” 

“ Commander Hatake ,” Gina repeats, making a face. “I swear, that never stops sounding strange.” 

Sakura doesn’t know what to say to that. To her, Commander Hatake is a perfectly normal form of address, after all. It must be different for Gina though. 

“How long has he been in charge of the Genin Corps?” she asks at last. 

“Since he injured his leg. He used to be a jounin, y’know, before that. Then afterwards when he couldn’t do missions anymore there was talk about him retiring, but he asked to be placed in a more desk-oriented position instead.” 

“That’s cool.” 

“Yeah, right? Some people think he should’ve retired though, instead of lowering himself to babysitting genin , as they say.” The last part is said with vehemence, and Gina glares challengingly ahead. 

Sakura frowns, recalling Sasuke’s disdain for the Genin Corps. “Being the Genin Commander must be a lot more than just looking after genin though. I mean, the Corps does a lot of different kinds of work, and if it weren’t for their work Konoha wouldn’t be running nearly as smoothly.” 

“Exactly!” Gina agrees easily. “But people talk anyway, I guess.” 

“What people?” 

“People.” Gina shrugs, staring ahead of them. 

They’re approaching the crossroad now and they come to a halt. 

“A teammate of mine said he’d rather die than join the Genin Corps,” Sakura says. “I guess because he thought remaining a genin wasn’t good enough for him. Is it like that for the Commander as well?” 

Gina nods quietly. “Becoming a genin is deemed something good. A sign that you’re strong enough to be considered an adult. Remaining a genin, however, is seen as a weakness. Proof of your inability to grow stronger, which reflects badly not only on you but on your family as well.”

“And becoming the Commander of those too weak to advance in rank is considered a step down?” Sakura surmises. 

Wordlessly, Gina nods again. 

Sakura ponders that for a moment. 

“Is it the same for chunin?” she asks, before she’s able to consider her words more carefully. “Is it bad not to become a jounin, or is being a chunin considered acceptable?” 

Gina winces, avoiding Sakura’s gaze. 

“It depends. Mostly on who you are in the clan hierarchy and how big and strong the clan in general is. If you’re a branch house Hyuga it’s probably not so bad. Say that you’re the daughter of the head of a small clan of like five people, then it’s definitely a failure on your part. Especially if both of your parents are - or were - respected jounin.” 

“I’m sorry!” Sakura says immediately. “I didn’t mean to-” 

Gina makes a face and then smiles at Sakura again. “No worries! People are stupid, that’s all. Anyway, I’m happy that you like working with Pa and the Genin Corps! I gotta get going, bye!”

Gina hurries away, leaving Sakura to stare after her before turning to head down to Kakashi-sensei’s house. 

Despite having lived at the Hatake Compound for weeks by now, she still hasn’t seen anyone except Commander Hatake and Gina. Whoever Kakashi’s aunt is, she is apparently keeping away. Same for that mysterious great-uncle. 

Against her better judgement, Sakura decides to go looking for the woman one afternoon. 

She prepares herself by buying a gift, as an excuse to visit the main house. It’s only polite, after all, to properly introduce herself to the people letting her live in their compound, she reasons. 

Despite this, she’s weary as she approaches the main house, clutching the decorative paper bag with the house gift tightly in her hand. A part of her, the part that wants to listen to Kakashi-sensei’s warnings, wants to turn around and run. Another part is growing painfully curious at the mysterious Hatake matriarch. 

She finds the woman sitting at the main house veranda, polishing a sword that already looks dangerously sharp. The woman herself is thin, her skin slightly wrinkled and tanned by years spent outdoors, almost resembling leather. The eyes are similar to Kakashi-sensei’s, dark and sharp but with a hardness that Kakashi-sensei just lacks. At the moment she’s dressed in standard Konoha infantry clothing - dark blue trousers and a long-sleeved shirt - but instead of the standard green flak jacket she’s wearing a longer, hooded vest that looks like it might be made from some sort of animal skin. 

Wolf skin, Sakura thinks with sudden certainty, swallowing nervously. 

“Hello. I’m Sakura, Kakashi’s apprentice.” 

She offers a respectful bow. 

“I know who you are,” is all the other woman says, not even looking up from her sword. 

Sakura hesitates. Whatever she’d been expecting, this isn’t it. Perhaps some sort of violent maniac, or some screeching madwoman, but not this calm disinterest. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I, uh, I brought a gift. As a thank you, for letting Kakashi-sensei and I move in here. I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so it’s nothing much.” 

Awkwardly, Sakura offers the bag, even though she’s nowhere near enough for the older woman to be able to reach out and take it. 

Finally, the Hatake matriarch looks up, wearily sniffing the air but not moving to accept the gift. 

“Dadai fruit. A perfectly useless fruit, if you ask me.” 

Her gaze lingers on Sakura a moment more - consideringly, probably weighing her and finding her lacking - before returning her attention to the sword. 

Awkwardly, Sakura remains standing in place, unsure whether she should put the gift down or bring it back with her. It doesn’t seem like the gift is wanted, but then taking it back also seems horribly rude. 

“You certainly don’t look much,” the woman says at last, not looking up. “What does my nephew want with someone like you? Do you have some secret ability hidden beneath that ridiculous hair colour of yours?” 

The. Rudeness. 

Internally, Sakura seethes. Outwardly, she wraps her dignity and composure around herself like a cloak. She’s been raised by Haruno Kasumi, and has had proper etiquette drilled into her since she was little. Politeness is her automatic response to rudeness. 

That or violence, but that just seems stupid in this case, so politeness it is. 

“I do not presume to know Kakashi-sensei’s reasoning, but I’m proud to be his apprentice.” 

“You certainly don’t look very intimidating. You look like a child, and a civilian one at that.” 

Sakura takes a deep breath and forces herself to stand straight, raising her head proudly. 

“I am told that I look like my father, who indeed was the son of a civilian.” 

“Yes, so I’ve heard. Ridiculous clan, those Harunos. Haughty like the sun shines out of their asses and the rest of us should just be grateful to be in their presence.” 

Instinctively, she wants to protest. Protect the Haruno name. But then, she hasn’t really been on good terms with the Haruno Clan lately either. So Sakura sighs, averts her gaze and mutters: 

“An astute observation.” 

The woman snorts, flashing a brief grin that bares teeth that look unnaturally sharp. 

“Good answer, girl.” She looks up from the sword again, levelling Sakura with another look. “I’m Hatake Sarana. You may call me ma’am.” 

“Yes ma’am. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Sakura offers another bow of respect, feeling a little better about herself. Things are looking better! 

Suddenly she’s happy that she decided to come and introduce herself. Clearly, Kakashi’s aunt isn’t that bad. Whatever bad blood there is between her and Kakashi-sensei, perhaps Sakura can help them overcome it? 

“Look, girl, I’ll be honest with you. Apart from that hair of yours, there’s nothing about you that stands out. No abilities, no skill, no potential. So, I rephrase my question; what do you hope to get out of an apprenticeship with my milquetoast nephew?” 

Ok, so maybe things aren’t going quite as well as Sakura would have hoped. Regardless, she takes another breath to calm herself. She’s not sure what’s worse: the plain rudeness, the insult to herself or the insult to Kakashi-sensei! 

Either way, maybe Kakashi-sensei was right after all and she should have stayed away. 

“He’s my sensei,” she replies quietly. Honestly. “The only one remaining of our team. I think it’s only natural that I would like to stay with him, don’t you?” 

“Oh, certainly! Especially given your own status. Remind me, what was your family name again?” 

Despite her best intentions, Sakura feels herself going stiff at the question. It’s not the question as such, but the implied insult. 

No Name Sakura. 

Clanless. 

Unwanted, even by her own blood. 

“It was a pleasure meeting you,” she manages to bite out before turning to leave, having to force herself not to set off in a run. 

“You’re even worse than him. Find yourself another master, girl, before you get bitten by a real wolf!” 

The words, a growled taunt to her back, make Sakura come to a halt. Slowly, she turns to face the woman again. 

Sarana is grinning. It looks more like a snarl than a human expression, she thinks. A challenge, clear as anything. Much like something Gin would do. 

Except, Gin might just be more civilised than this woman. 

And he’s definitely cuter. 

“I’m not afraid of wolves,” she says, meeting the older woman’s eyes. “Bears, on the other hand … but then again, I guess I survived that too, didn’t I?” 

Hatake Sarana slowly raises her eyebrows. Suddenly, Sakura feels like a mouse caught by a cat, waiting for the cat to decide whether to be merciful and offer a quick death or to draw things out into a slow, painful death for its own amusement.

“Has my nephew arranged for someone to tutor you while he’s away on missions?” 

The question is so unexpected that Sakura doesn’t know what to say, so she just reflexively answers truthfully. 

“No ma’am. Not yet.” 

Another flash of too sharp teeth. 

“I exercise at dawn, in the woods behind the house, if you care to join me.” Sarana tilts her head, gesturing vaguely to somewhere behind her own house. 

Somehow, it feels more like a threat than an invitation. 

Sakura flees.

Behind her, she can feel Hatake Sarana watching her retreating back. 

Two mornings later, Sakura hesitantly makes her way towards the forested area behind the Hatake main house. It’s quiet, the sun has just risen above the horizon and everything is silent. Sakura looks around, wondering where Hatake Sarana was intending for them to meet. There isn’t a training area anywhere near here; just forest and more forest. 

Then suddenly she’s there, right in front of Sakura. 

Sakura doesn’t even have the time to dodge, and swiftly goes flying into the nearest tree. 

“Pay attention to your surroundings, girl! An enemy won’t give warning before they attack.”

Hatake Sarana stands over her, arms crossed and a disapproving look on her face. 

Grudgingly - because the older woman is right, but now Sakura’s face hurts - Sakura gets up and takes a defensive stance. 

She learns that morning that Sarana’s teaching methods are much like Kakashi-sensei’s - that is, the pre-Okami island Kakashi-sensei. Except, somehow it’s also worse. 

Hatake Sarana hits hard and fast . Ruthlessly she exploits all of Sakura’s openings, apparently not caring at all to adapt to the fact that Sakura is just genin. Or at least, if she does, then Sakura doesn’t notice. 

It’s the worst beating Sakura has had in her whole life. 

“Pathetic,” the matriarch says at last, looming over Sakura when she can’t make herself get up again. “Clearly Kakashi has no idea what he’s doing.” 

Thankfully, Kakashi-sensei returns home that same after noon. Sakura throws herself in his arms as soon as he’s stepped inside the door, not even giving him time to remove his shoes first. 

“What’s this?” he asks, pulling back to look at her. “What happened to you?” 

His thumb gently touches her black eye but she flinches away from the touch anyway, which earns her an even more worried frown from him. 

So she tells him about her visit to the main house and her training session with Hatake Sarana that morning. His face grows more and more thunderous. 

“I told you to stay away from her!” he exclaims when she’s done explaining. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

“And I told you to take it easy and recuperate!” 

“I know.” 

He pulls her closer again, not into a hug but to pat her down. 

To make sure she doesn’t have any broken bones, Sakura realises, wincing guiltily. 

There’s fear and anger in his one visible eye, but his hands are gentle as he catalogues each and every one of her injuries: from the black eye, the light swelling at the back of her head, the multitude of bruises all over her arms, legs and torso as well as the sprained wrist. 

“I’m going to kill her,” he says at last, his voice dangerously calm. 

“It’s not really her fault though?” Sakura feels obligated to object. “I went to her, after all.” 

“And you should be happy that I won’t be killing you!” 

Sakura refuses to cower beneath the strict glare he’s giving her. 

“But I was bored! I just wanted some more training!” 

“Then you should have come to me!” 

“You weren’t here !” 

Something flashes across his face, an expression Sakura cannot quite interpret between the mask and the headband. One moment it’s there, then it’s gone. 

“You knew going into this that I wouldn’t always be here when you needed me.” 

Kakashi’s voice is calm, but there’s something else beneath it. Hurt, Sakura thinks. 

“I’m a jounin, I can’t just-” 

“I know, I know! I didn’t mean it like that, I just …” Sakura sighs dejectedly. 

“It’s not just about physical recuperation,” Kakashi-sensei explains, his voice surprisingly gentle. “You’re still having nightmares and struggling to sleep through the night.” 

Sakura blushes, averting her gaze. She’d tried to hide it, but apparently he’d heard her anyway. 

Duh. 

He’s a jounin, she reminds herself. Of course he can tell whenever she wakes up screaming in the night. 

“Sorry,” she mutters. 

“You don’t need to apologise, but we had a deal, remember? You promised that you’d obey my orders even if I wasn’t here to enforce them.” 

Yeah, Sakura remembers the conversation. After he’d taken her on as an apprentice he’d disappeared for a month before suddenly showing up again, and they’d talked. That’s not all they’d said though. 

“You also promised that you’d try to set me up with someone else when you were gone,” she points out quietly. 

They look at each other for a couple of moments before Kakashi-sensei breaks the silence again. 

“I’ll do better next time.” 

“Good, or else I’ll go back to her.” 

The words are serious, but Sakura can’t keep back the teasing smile. Kakashi smiles back at her before reaching out to ruffle her hair. 

“Lucky for you, I believe I might have a day or two before my next mission. How about we go running again tomorrow morning?”

That sounds great, Sakura thinks. 

And indeed, the next morning, he’s dressed and ready for their training when she gets downstairs. It’s going to be their first proper morning jog together since before the trip to Okami Island. Sakura can’t help but look forward to it eagerly, even as she’s already anticipating the muscle burn she’ll have to suffer through on top of the fact that her body is aching from yesterday. 

“How much weight are you wearing?” Kakashi asks as they’re putting on their shoes. 

“I added another couple of yellow weights yesterday.” 

He frowns. 

“What happened to rest and recuperation?” 

Sakura sighs, already anticipating another argument like the one the evening before.  

“You did. And like I told you, I’m fine. I have recovered. And I’m perfectly ready to get back to training as normal, I might add.” 

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” He gives a pointed look to her black eye and the multiple bandages she’s still wearing. 

“I’m fine, sensei! I’ve been jogging and practising my kata and meditating and keeping to boring D-ranks and I’m all healed up, so what’s the problem?” 

She looks at him, honestly confused. And frustrated. So very frustrated. Why is he so insistent that she take it easy instead of letting her get back to training? She’ll never get stronger at this rate! 

“It’s important to know how to pace yourself.” 

She can’t help but scoff at him then because really ?! Who was it lecturing her about discipline just a couple of months ago, pushing her to continue training even when she wanted to give up. 

And now he’s telling her to stop. 

“Well, I may not be Naruto or Sasuke, but I do think I have some discipline,” she tells him shortly. 

And sets off towards the village wall for her run, leaving him to follow her. 

She nurses her confusion and vaguely wounded pride for most of the run, using the energy of it to push herself harder. Faster. Kakashi-sensei remains a steady presence at her back, not talking but there . She’s torn between anger at him - mostly grounded in her own confusion, to be honest, but also in her own insecurities that Hatake Sarana might be right and she’s just not good enough - and gratitude for him staying. 

Once they have finished their two laps he wordlessly indicates for them to head over to their usual training ground, where they settle down for meditation. She runs through her usual chakra exercises. Between them and the general peacefulness meditation brings she finds herself a little bit calmer by the time they stand to spar. 

Finally, Sakura thinks. Practising her kata is all good but it doesn’t beat sparring against an actual partner. Sparring with Kakashi-sensei in particular, every fault in her stance is painfully exploited and pointed out to her, every hit he lands a painful reminder to keep her guard up or keep her footing steady.

However, as they move through their sparring, she finds herself able to dodge some of his attacks, and even the hits he does land doesn’t seem nearly as painful as she recalls them. At first she’s proud, because it seems she has improved since their last sparring. By a lot, even. Her dodging is still sloppy but quick, and she’s learning not to take her eyes off of her opponent. 

Then she makes a mistake, stumbling and leaving an opening in her guard. She flinches, expecting pain but there is none. Instead the opening goes ignored and she moves on to block another blow. 

It leaves a gnawing sense of unease that she tries to push away. 

It’s not that her defence is perfect otherwise, or that all of her openings go unexploited. No, it’s more that hits that ought to pinch and bruise come as light taps, or that attacks seem to come slower than she’s used to. And part of it might be because it has been some time since they sparred like this and she might just actually have improved some, but not by this much. 

She’s not foolish enough to rate her own skills that high. 

“Are you going easy on me, sensei?” she asks, making her voice light and joking. 

She tries to ignore the dawning realisation that has her feeling vaguely ill. 

“You’re doing fine, Sakura-chan.” 

The knot in her stomach grows firmer. Heavier. 

“That’s not an answer, sensei.” 

She dodges, spins around him and aims a kick at his back. He casually blocks it and allows her to stumble backwards to regain her footing again, without exploiting the opening to her defence. 

“You are holding back!” she accuses him, not moving to attack. 

“I’m a jounin,” he points out, keeping his own guard up and clearly waiting for her to attack. “Of course I’m holding back against a genin.” 

“That’s not what I mean!” 

Anger and worry warring in her stomach she shoots forward in a series of quick attacks, which he easily blocks. Fuelled by her emotions she pushes on more aggressively than she normally would, knowing fully well that by doing so she’s also leaving more openings to her defence. There’s a tap to her upper arm, to her hip, to her stomach, to her shoulder blades, but each tap is light, just firm enough for her to notice that it’s there and nothing more. 

“What do you mean, Sakura-chan?” 

It’s a struggle to formulate her thoughts and emotions into discernable words and sentences, so she backs away a little as her mind spins. He allows her, patiently waiting for her. 

“You used to push a lot harder. And now all of a sudden you don’t want me wearing the weights and you don’t want me doing anything but D-ranks and it’s like you’re not even taking me seriously right now!” 

Her voice comes out as a mixture of whining and frustration but doesn’t seem to faze him much. Instead he raises his eyebrow slowly. She almost wants to cry with frustration.  

“I don’t want you to take C-ranks because you’re still getting used to the weights.” 

“And that made sense back when I first got them, but now I am used to them and it’s like you don’t even want me to step foot outside the village!” 

“You are wounded, Sakura. I want you to heal-” 

“I was injured. I’m fine now, so please stop treating me like I’m made of glass!” 

A part of her is appalled by her own rudeness but it’s as if something within her has burst, a dam containing all of her inferiority complex and the fear that he’ll decide to leave her after all. 

“I don’t think it is the job of the student to question the teacher on his teaching methods,” he points out, his voice sombre.  

“It is, if the teacher is being a stupid chauvinist! If you’re not going to take me seriously, then just say so and I’ll find somebody else!” 

Her voice is high pitched and she even stomps her foot, accidentally leaving a small crater in the earth. She barely notices, busy glaring at him. 

“That is unfair, Sakura.” 

“No it’s not! I’m never going to get stronger if you don’t take me seriously! This is because I’m a girl, isn’t it?” 

“This is not about your gender , but about the fact that you nearly died less than a month ago!” He’s raising his voice as well now, his voice deepening with anger. 

Tears are gathering at the corners of her eyes and she’s struggling not to let them fall, lest they be taken for yet another weakness. 

“So what?!” she shouts, ignoring her own recent worries over her mortality. “When you and Naruto and Sasuke went to Wave you all almost died, but you didn’t seem to be holding them back!” 

“That was different-” 

“How? Because from where I was standing it looked like you were quite eager to push us all into danger again, even if I ruined your plan by making us fail out of the chunin exams!” 

“You are neither Naruto nor Sasuke, Sakura-” 

“Exactly! And I thought you knew that and was fine with it! But if you won’t accept me for me, then I don’t need your training!” 

Tears falling at last she turns away, running from the clearing and the churning emotions within her. 

Kakashi watches his student run away, torn between wanting to throttle and comfort her. 

Those tears, he thinks guiltily. And that anger. 

“Well, that went spectacularly badly.” 

He startles slightly, having forgotten Gina arriving to watch them spar a bit earlier. She’d remained in the trees, as to not disturb, but he’d noticed her anyway. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, his voice tightly controlled as he reigns his emotions in, pushing them all down. 

“I was curious to see the two of you together.” 

“And what, pray tell, are your conclusions?” Kakashi asks sarcastically. 

Gina ignores the sarcasm, stepping up to stand beside him as he stares after Sakura. 

“I think she’s got a point.” 

“You agree with her that I’m being a chauvinist?” He can’t help but feel a little bit betrayed. He thought they’d gotten closer than that. 

“Hm, maybe not so bad,” she answers thoughtfully. “But you are treating her differently than those boys, aren’t you?” 

As much as he wants to object he finds himself sighing tiredly. 

“A little,” he admits quietly. “She almost died because I left her alone, and if it weren’t for you she would have died.” 

“I know. It’s perfectly reasonable, wanting to protect her, especially given what happened. But you can’t protect her forever and, more importantly, she needs to feel that she’ll be more prepared next time. By holding back on her training you’re holding back her, Kakashi, and while she’ll most likely forgive you this time she will resent you for it eventually if you keep doing it.” 

He sighs again, turning away from the path and towards her. 

“So I should just push her back out there again then? Over and over again, and hope that she’ll make it out alive?” 

“I’m not saying you can’t protect her, Kakashi. I’m just saying, you need to give her room to grow as well, even if leaving her that room makes you uncomfortable sometimes.” 

She pats him on the shoulder before leaving him to contemplate her words. 

He glances up at the sun. It is still only mid-morning. With some luck Sakura will have calmed down enough by lunchtime to come back home, and they might be able to talk some things out. 

In other words, he has a couple of hours to decide what he wants to do. 

However, by mid-afternoon Kakashi is forced to realise that she might be more angry than he’d anticipated. 

Well, if she prefers to have lunch with her friends in the Genin Corps, then Kakashi isn’t really going to stop her. Having friends her own age is probably good for her anyway, especially at a time like now, when she’s angry with him. 

By dinner time he’s starting to get worried. 

When she doesn’t return in the evening either, he summarily summons all eight of his dogs and give them one command: 

“Find her!” 

Fifteen minutes later, he finds himself scaling the wall of the Genin Corps’ dormitories to find the room her two female friends share. Thankfully, as his dogs had suggested, he finds Sakura there, curled up in a bed with a girl her own age, soundly asleep. 

He breathes a sigh of relief. 

At least she’s safe. 

Too angry with him to return home, but safe. 

Reassured to her well-being, he joins the dogs on the roof, plopping down with a heavy sigh. 

“What am I gonna do Pakkun?” he asks tiredly. 

“Depends on what the issue is here, Boss.” 

“She’s angry with me!” 

“Does she have a reason to be?” 

Kakashi pouts. Just his luck to have summons who’ll side with his apprentice rather than him on an issue like this. 

“Maybe?” he admits. “I just … I don’t want her to get hurt, that’s all! Is that so bad?” 

Pakkun sighs, rubbing his face with one of his front paws in a gesture surprisingly like a human pinching the base of their nose or rubbing their forehead. 

“This is gonna be like Bisuke’s potty training all over again, isn’t it?” 

Bisuke, currently curled up next to Kakashi’s right leg, promptly buries his head underneath Kakashi’s knee, a whine escaping him. Kakashi pets him comfortingly. 

Out of all of Kakashi’s eight dogs, Bisuke is the youngest and probably the one Kakashi had struggled the most in raising. Well, maybe except Pakkun, but that had been different. Kakashi had been little more than a pup himself back then. About the same age Sakura is right now, in fact. 

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” Kakashi defends both himself and Bisuke. 

“Of course not.” Pakkun rolls his eyes. “It just took you eight months to get him properly house trained because he was afraid of everything outside!” 

“Some pups take longer to learn such things than others!” 

“And sometimes you took one look at those puppy eyes and folded like origami!” 

That’s not entirely fair, Kakashi thinks. Folding origami is complicated. Bisuke had been nothing but a little pup, looking at him with those adorable, sad eyes and … 

Well, maybe Pakkun has a point after all. 

“This isn’t like that though,” Kakashi argues. “Sakura is angry with me because she doesn’t think I’m taking her seriously. She thinks I’m not being hard enough on her.” 

The issue with Bisuke had, after all, been Kakashi’s unwillingness to push the pup hard enough to go outside, allowing him to stay in the apartment whenever he was summoned. 

“Sounds exactly like Bisuke’s potty training,” Urushi mutters before scratching his ears with one of his back paws. 

What is this, an all-ninken-against-Kakashi kind of argument? 

“I think t’Boss ‘s right,” Guruko yawns. “Pups need protectin’, whether they wan’ it or not.” 

“Thank you Guruko! I knew there was a reason you’re my favourite!” 

The dogs all ignore Kakashi’s exclamation. 

Pakkun levels him with a steady look. “Yes, pups need protection, but they also need to be challenged. Or, case in point, they’ll piss all over your den.” 

Bisuke buries his head further beneath Kakashi’s knees. 

Bull gives Pakkun a silent look. 

“Or chew your couch to pieces,” Pakkun adds, nodding in acknowledgement to Bull. 

Kakashi winces, wondering what kind of trouble Gin is getting up to while he’s being left alone at home. Hopefully nothing too bad. He’s been very happy at being able to run around freely in the Hatake Compound, chasing squirrels and what not. 

“So you’re saying I need to push Sakura harder or she’ll start chewing the house to pieces?” Kakashi summarises. 

The dogs nod in agreement. 

“The key is knowing how and when to push,” Pakkun states. “Sometimes she might need you to hold her back, and sometimes she might need you to push her out there even if she doesn’t want you to.” 

“Probably shouldn’t be sendin’ her on any A-ranks jus’ yet,” Guruko says. 

“A good C-rank might do her good though.” Urushi shakes his head, ears flopping. “Or maybe a B-rank.” 

“She’s a genin!” 

And twelve, and tiny and frail and … Kakashi can probably think of a hundred reasons to keep her safely ensconced within Konoha walls and never let her outside again. 

Then again, even he can see that it wouldn't end well. True, Kakashi is more familiar with the ways of twelve year old boys than girls, but he’s fairly certain that there is no twelve year old that would react well to such constrictions. Or thirteen year old, or fourteen year old, or … well. 

She won’t remain a little girl forever. 

“Fine,” Kakashi sighs at last. “I see your point. I’ll find a way to test her. See if she’s ready for a C-rank. But nothing worse than that!” 

Chapter Text

In the morning, it’s Tomomi who forces Sakura to return home. Something about having a home and a jounin sensei who looks after her already, and the importance of valuing that rather than throwing such an opportunity away or … Yeah, Sakura isn’t really in the mood to listen, but she gets the general point. 

The boys, who have overheard the conversation between Tomomi, Aimi and Sakura, are mostly just annoying. Hajime snorts violently when Aimi offers Sakura to come back to share a bed, and then hastily has to duck as Tomomi swings a violent blow to the back of his head, hissing something that Sakura cannot quite make out. Takeshi just blushes, apparently finding his shoes to be extremely interesting. 

So Sakura returns home to the Hatake Compound in the morning, a part of her silently praying that she still has the right to call it her home. Gin greets her halfway to the house, yipping excitedly and jumping at her in joy. 

She finds Kakashi-sensei in the kitchen, already cooking breakfast. 

“Just in time,” he just says, pouring her a bowl of miso soup. 

He doesn’t comment on the fact that she didn’t return home last night or their argument yesterday. Sakura breathes a silent sigh of relief and gratefully accepts the bowl of soup for the peace offering it probably is. 

He doesn’t apologise. 

Neither does she. 

She’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but at least things between them aren’t completely destroyed. 

Yet. 

Still, she cannot bring herself to be truly sorry about her outburst yesterday. If he cannot take her seriously as his student, then she does not owe him the respect of a teacher. She may not be Naruto or Sasuke, but no one forced him to take her on as his apprentice either. 

And if he really is treating her differently because of her gender … if he sees her more as a girl than an apprentice or a fellow ninja, then … Well, then she cannot afford to let him dictate the conditions of her life anymore. 

That’s it, really. 

She doesn’t want to start another argument, and so she doesn’t quite dare bring any of that up. 

So, silence hangs heavily between them as they finish the meal, questions and worry, fear and determination unspoken between them. 

She’s relieved that he isn’t pushing the issue, but the tension of it all is just building, threatening to explode any moment. Sakura finds it difficult to even sit still, fidgeting with her utensils until Gin decides that she’s clearly done eating and in desperate need of cuddles from him. 

“Have you done your morning training yet?” Kakashi-sensei’s voice is quiet but relaxed, almost as if he’s asking her about the weather. 

“Not yet.” 

Sakura doesn’t look up from Gin, a smile tugging at her lips despite the worry in her gut. He’s moved on to chewing and tugging on her sleeve, and she gently tries to get it back before it’s completely ruined. 

“I’m afraid I have a couple of errands to run, so I can’t join you today.” 

“That’s ok.” 

Given their fight yesterday, she’s not sure that she wants him there anyway. 

“However, after lunch I want you to meet me at training ground 12, alright? Bring Gin too.” 

Finally, Gin lets go of her sleeve, and Sakura rubs his belly in return. 

“Ok. What are we doing?”  

“A test.” 

Sakura looks up from her playing with Gin. Kakashi-sensei is relaxed, leaned back and for all appearances thoroughly engrossed in one of his books. 

“A test?” she repeats nervously. 

“Just a small one. Nothing to worry about.” 

Coming from him, that definitely sounds like something she ought to worry about. 

Unless he’s, like, decided that she’s enough of a baby that he needs to see if she knows how to brush her teeth properly, or something. 

“Should I prepare for anything in particular?” 

“Just standard, everyday gear is fine.” 

Sakura hums, momentarily distracted again by Gin, who apparently doesn’t appreciate not being part of the conversation.