Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A sound resonated through the bedroom. It was short, but loud. Tsukasa groaned, lazily reaching his arm out to reach his alarm clock and make it stop ringing. He opened his eyes with a frown, reading the time. It was 6 am. The blonde could feel the warmth of the sunlights on his back, highlighting some parts of his room through the thin curtains. His eyelids were awfully heavy, making it hard to keep them open. However, he knew that if he stayed longer in his comfortable sheets, he wouldn't be able to get up at all, or even risk falling back asleep. He stretched his arms with a long groan, and began to sit up.

Or at least attempted.

He felt two arms wrapping his waist, pushing him back into the bed. Tsukasa didn't have all his strength back yet this early in the morning, making him fall effortlessly into the embrace. He felt his back being pressed against the other's chest, while the tip of a nose was nuzzling into his neck. Tsukasa giggled at the ticklish feeling and gently caressed the hands around his waist.

"Good morning to you too, Rui."

He heard a faint giggle behind his ear.

Rui and Tsukasa had been dating for a few months now, half a year to be precise. They were getting more and more comfortable together, allowing each other to be more open with one another. The blonde could witness each day a new facette of his boyfriend. He was blessed and honored to be the only one to know and see some of his most secret sides. It was certainly the same for the inventor, or at least he guessed. They would spend a lot of time together, perhaps less than when they started dating. After all, the star couldn't deny that neither of them wanted to leave each other's side after all the things they went through for months. However, they began to feel comfortable enough to regain their private and alone times. Well, this morning wasn't one of them.

Truth be told, Rui had spent the evening over Tsukasa's place. They were working on their script, and time flew by before they could notice. Perhaps they got a bit carried away, and lost time by simply cuddling. But night arrived rather quickly, forcing the inventor to stay. Of course, both of them were more than glad for this outcome. The star wouldn't say it out loud or admit it to his partner, but he would actually love it if they could spend every night together from now on, and simply switch between which place to go. He was still embarrassed to say it to Rui, knowing that he would tease him endlessly about it. But maybe he wouldn't, and simply confess that he had been thinking the same thing all along.

It seemed that even after all those months spent, it was still hard for Tsukasa to share his thoughts and feelings, even to his boyfriend.

Tsukasa jumped out of his thoughts as soon as he felt warm lips against his nape, making his spine shiver. He squirmed into the hold, turning around to face Rui. The inventor was looking at him with sleepy eyes and his usual grin. Tsukasa couldn't help but smile back, gently cupping the director's cheek, rubbing his cheekbone with his thumb.

"You're a bit cruel to set your alarm clock this early..." Pouted the director, hiding his face against the star's chest.

"I need more time than you to get prepared." Explained the blonde, playing with Rui's purple hair. "Besides, without that extra time in the morning, you wouldn't be able to cuddle me, right?"

He heard the director groan against his chest, tightening his hold. The blonde giggled at the reaction, softly kissing the top of his head.

"Hm... I would say that it is a fair point if you weren't about to get up." Retorted Rui, his voice being muffled by his boyfriend's chest.

Tsukasa giggled at this childish conversation. He never felt this much at peace before. Cuddling Rui was certainly one of the things that he preferred in the entire world. However, as blessed as this situation was, they still had to go to school. They were soon on summer break, but they still had a few weeks of classes before holidays. Hopefully, Rui managed to catch up on his exams and classes after months of hard work and taking extra classes. As a result, he was now entirely free on Saturdays, at least when he didn't have any appointment.

It was as if things were finally back to normal.

Tsukasa let a sigh escape his lips, looking down at the sleepy figure in his arms. He perfectly knew that it was now impossible for things to go back as they were. Their relationship aside, Rui was now disabled.

A few months ago, Rui had caught Hanahaki Disease. He kept it secret for months, letting himself slowly die in the process. This simple decision provoked multiple repercussions. One of them was his own lungs which were now badly injured. Even if he was healed thanks to a surgery, he was unable to do any exercise. Even running was out of the question. Well, he could, but it could be dangerous for him, and his stamina was pretty low now. He wasn't able to take deep breaths as he used to, getting quickly out of breath. Furthermore, his body changed too. He was now marked for life, with two large scars on his chest, crossing his ribs. Tsukasa was by no means disgusted by it, he could never be. It was simply... a reminder of what happened. Hopefully, they didn't hurt at all anymore. He could still feel how nervous Rui was about them, hiding them from Tsukasa's sight. His arms too, were always covered with gloves, but for other reasons. Fortunately, the scars were almost all faded now, but the inventor kept those gloves on, certainly waiting for every mark to disappear completely before finally removing them. Despite the blonde's attempts to reassure him, to confirm that it was alright, Rui was stubborn and 'didn't want to make the star witness this atrocious sight'.

Some things take more time to heal, it appears.

Rui's disability wasn't the only thing that his illness had caused. Tsukasa had caught Hanahaki Disease as well.

Not as if it was important.

After all, compared to the director, he was fully healed, without any sequela.

If he wasn't this sensitive and idiot, he wouldn't have caught it at all. If he didn't just interpret Rui's actions in the wrong way, persuading himself that his feelings were unrequited, he wouldn't have caught it at all.

After all, Rui was desperately trying to survive all this time, to deal with that unbearable pain. He didn't need a stupid self-centred disappointing star to make it all about himself, and to get sick by his stupidity.

It wasn't fair. Rui didn't deserve to be disabled because of Tsukasa's incompetence. He should be the one dealing with the consequences.

He should have just confessed as soon as he was aware of his feelings, instead of hiding them away with shame.

If he wasn't such a coward, Rui would be alright.

Tsukasa suddenly felt two cold palms against his cheeks, waking him up from his thoughts. Rui's face was right in front of his, staring at him with a concerned look. The blonde simply leaned to the touch, putting his own hands on top of the inventor's.

"Are you alright ? You seemed deep in thoughts." Asked the director with a quiet voice.

The star nodded with a small smile, softly turning his head to kiss one of his boyfriend's palms. Rui softly giggled, removing his hands from Tsukasa's face to warp his waist again, pulling him closer. The blonde let a content sigh escape his lips, nuzzling into the director's neck. He felt one of the taller boy's hands gently patting his blonde head, helping him to relax. The star was amazed to see how understandable they were to each other. Sometimes they didn't even need words to communicate in order to comprehend how the other was feeling.

Even if some things could only be explained through words.

Rui pushed his bangs backwards, and gently kissed his now exposed forehead.

"If anything is troubling you, don't keep it to yourself, alright ? You know that I'll always be here to listen."

"Don't worry, I'm fine." Replied the blonde, melting into the comforting touches of the inventor. "I love you."

He heard the director softly chuckle, kissing his forehead once again.

"I love you too, my precious star."

Tsukasa's hold tightened at the pet name with a small groan, making the other laugh.

"Anyway, the World's future star wanted to get prepared for school, right?"

"I would have gotten ready if you didn't push me back into the bed." Uttered back the blonde with a frown.

Rui giggled, quickly kissing the blonde's lips.

"My bad~ But how could you blame me? It's always an honor to wake up next to the brightest star and greatest actor himself."

Tsukasa immediately screamed with a red face, pushing the director away in embarrassment. Rui giggled at this reaction, holding the blonde even tighter to prevent him from running away.

"What is it, my dear? You love it when people praise you and acknowledge how incredible and great you are!" Chuckled the purple-haired boy, attacking the star's face with sloppy kisses.

"Y-you know- hmph!" stammered Tsukasa, quickly cut off by Rui's lips against his own.

As if the director had cast a spell on him, the blonde slowly calmed down, letting himself melt into the touch. He could never admit how addicted he was to the feeling of the inventor's lips against his own. The most selfish part of his being was even more glad and proud to know that he was the first, and only kiss Rui ever had. It was more than an honor, it was pride. It was yet another part of the director that he was the only one to know about, and to experience. How sweet and gentle his touches were, how he would slowly rub the back of his neck to help him tilt his head to the correct angle, how he would reassure him simply by a stare or his cold hands... They were small gestures and habits that the blonde kept preciously into his mind. After a little while, Rui finally broke the kiss, whereas Tsukasa held back the urge to whine at the loss, or to reach back to his soft lips. The director softly smiled, gently caressing the star's cheek.

"Hm... I don't know~ Could you enlighten your poor boyfriend~?"

The star took a few seconds to recall what they were talking about. His face burned as soon as he remembered. It was about the praise. The answer was simple.

It was just because it was coming from the one who stole his heart.

Tsukasa couldn't let any comprehensible words out, he was just mumbling nonsense, muffled behind his shaking hands. Rui giggled, gently kissing the top of his head.

"Shhh it's alright, no need to answer. I already know anyway."

The blonde frowned with a little pout, making the other smile back at how adorable his face looked. At least this was certainly what Rui was thinking about. Tsukasa was finally able to let go of the director's grasp, getting ready for the day. The inventor followed rather quickly, letting the star tie his necktie as he would often do. As soon as both of them were finally ready, they ate their breakfast and left for school.

The walk was pretty calm. They were holding hands and talking about anything, or walking in silence. Tsukasa looked down at Rui's gloves, frowning at the warm air. How could he wear them despite the hot weather ? However, it seemed that it wasn't troubling the director, or he was hiding it. The blonde sighed, knowing perfectly that he didn't need to wear those, or that he simply could pull down his sleeves instead. But he knew how stubborn the other was.

The morning passed pretty quickly. They were now at the rooftop waiting for Nene for their lunch break. Rui was sitting at Tsukasa's left, staring at him. The blonde was talking about anything, while the director was listening to him with a small smile. All of a sudden, the star felt Rui's thumb against his ear lob, making him jolt in surprise.

"It did heal really well. I'm still surprised that you accepted to pierce your earlobe for a moon-shaped earring."

"Well... I thought that it was a good idea!" Proudly answered the blonde, trying to hide his blush through his bright smile. "We did have multiple costumes with earrings, so piercing them for good was necessary anyway."

Truth be told, Tsukasa actually didn't pierce his ears until recently. He was always scared of the pain he would get. However, he really enjoyed Rui's idea to get matching earrings, as cheesy as it sounded, and finally pierced his ears. Hopefully, the director accompanied him to the appointment, helping him to calm down. He was now wearing a little purple moon-shaped earring, matching with Rui's yellow star one. This simple thought made him smile and feel butterflies inside his stomach. He let his head rest on Rui's shoulder with a content noise, as the director gently wrapped his arm behind the blonde.

The door to the rooftop finally opened, and Nene joined both of them with her own lunch in hand. However, despite her entrance, Rui didn't move away from the blonde, simply smiling at his childhood friend. They have been really clingy since they started dating. The entire school noticed it, even if some of them were surprised that they weren't actually dating before. Nene was pretty much used to it, and didn't mind at all. However, she would often fakely cough when they got a bit too much carried away, almost forgetting the presence of someone else.

"By the way, you did go on a date with Emu this weekend, correct? How did it go?" Suddenly asked the director with a smirk.

Tsukasa noticed Nene's cheeks turning slightly pink, as she stared down with a shy smile.

"We spent the day at the Phoenix Park, and it went well. We had a lot of fun, she even gave me a Phoeny plush."

"That's great Nene!" Proudly retorted Tsukasa, crossing his arms with a bright smile.

She grunted quietly, but couldn't help her smile to form itself on her face. They quietly finished eating before returning to class.

**

As soon as school was finished, Rui almost ran to Tsukasa with excitement. They quickly joined Nene, and they finally walked towards the park for rehearsal. Along the way, Tsukasa couldn't help but raise his voice proudly numerous times during his monologues, quickly reprimanded by Nene with a groan. Even if they were with the diva, the blonde noticed how Rui didn't let go of his hand, rubbing gently his knuckles with his thumb. Every time they would go on a walk, the director would always hold his hand. Each time they were together, he would try ways to get close to the blonde, to hug him, or anything at all. The only exception was during shows and rehearsal, where his director's role took the upper hand. That was a relief, if it wasn't the case the gamer would have been fast to pull him off the blonde with an angry expression.

As soon as they arrived at the park, they noticed Emu waiting nervously for them at the gate. She brutally gasped and ran to them with excitement.

"You took a lot of time!" Pouted the pink-haired girl, waving her arms around.

"You can blame the lovebirds who took their sweet time..." Sighed the gamer as she shrugged.

"The Phoenix Stage's show will begin soon!" Explained the shorter girl with her high-pitched voice.

Tsukasa yelled in surprise. He totally forgot that the show was today! Emu brutally grabbed Nene's hand, running to the stage. The blonde started to run as well, but quickly noticed that Rui was still behind. He turned around, and saw the director walking calmly behind him with an embarrassed smile.

"Don't worry, go ahead of me. You'll save a seat for me."

Tsukasa slapped himself mentally. Through the sudden panic, he completely forgot that the inventor couldn't run at all. What an pathetic boyfriend he was! He brutally ran back to Rui's side, holding the back of his knees and his shoulder, startling the other.

"T-Tsukasa?!"

In a blink of an eye, Rui was carried in bridal style in the blonde's arms. He didn't seem to break a sweat, and started to run at full speed towards the Phoenix Stage. They reached it rather quickly, joining the girls who were already sitting in the audience. Tsukasa carefully put his boyfriend back on his feet in front of his seat. As soon as he noticed that the purple-haired boy seemed to be frozen in place, he gently pushed him backwards to make him sit down. Then, he sat right next to him with a proud smile.

"There! Just in time!"

"U-uh... I-Indeed..." Whispered back Rui, his face as red as a tomato.

Tsukasa giggled, gently holding the alchemist's hand to help his heartbeat calm down. Even if the inventor was a tease, he was really weak to Tsukasa's touches and attention when he would take the initiative. Rui softly sighed, making his head rest against the other's shoulder with deep breaths.

"Sorry to have startled you, we needed to be fast..." Apologised the blonde with a quiet giggle.

"It's alright, I was... taken aback." Answered the director with a small smile.

Rui's heartbeat managed to calm down after a little while, allowing himself to move away from the blonde's shoulder to lean back on his own seat instead. The audience's seats were soon full, waiting with excitement.

The show finally started. The troupe would always attend to the other casts' shows. They loved seeing their performances, and at the same time it helped them to get inspiration for their own shows. Tsukasa enjoyed seeing plays with his teammates, and more precisely with Rui. It always reminded him how he saw that show with his parents and Saki years ago. It was such a dreaming sight, filling him with hope and fascination. He could hear Emu's and Nene's comments on the actor's play, while Rui seemed entranced by their performance.

After a few hours, the show ended. The troupe left the stage with sparkles in their eyes. They were discussing what they just saw with excitement. Emu was jumping around with a big smile on her face.

"And when they went badam badam kira kira it was so wadam wadam!"

Nene giggled at this nonsense, walking a bit faster to reach the pink-haired girl level. Meanwhile the two boys were calmly walking behind, creating a little space within the duos. Once again, Rui reached Tsukasa's hand with a small smile. The troupe finally arrived to the Wonder Stage, and sat on the wooden floor. The director had once again his smirk drawn on his face, as he was commenting on what they saw.

"Their performance was really breathtaking. I also noticed that they took a good attention to some specific parts of their play, that we didn't really do ourselves yet."

"Hm ? What do you mean ?" Asked the diva, as she tilted her head to the side.

"I'm talking about music." Explained the inventor with a small smile. "We put attention to the music we use during our shows, but we don't compose it ourselves. We got a customised one only once, apart from Torpe's play."

As soon as he finished his sentence, his stare turned to the blonde with a smirk. Tsukasa felt his cheeks burning up, understanding immediately what the director was referencing. The star crossed his arms and proudly shouted out, trying desperately to hide his embarrassment.

"And it was a blast! You can't deny that I, the World's Future Star, came with an incredible performance for my love confession!"

"Indeed." Giggled back Rui, unable to hide his sudden blush. "Anyway, it made the performance even more personal and impactful. We already put a lot of attention into our music, but I think that composing it ourselves or allowing ourselves to customise it more often, would help us improve our shows even more."

"I agree, but do we have the time for it? I mean, we already do the scripts, backgrounds, acting and costumes ourselves." Retorted the diva, playing nervously with her hair.

"We already have a lot of props. I'm sure that we can reuse some of them if we lack time." Retorted the purple-haired boy with confidence. "However, we still need to know how to actually compose the music."

"I'll do it." Brutally claimed the blonde with a straight face.

The three others jumped in surprise, staring at him with widened eyes. Rui instantly shook his head in disapproval.

"Tsukasa, you already wrote our scripts and sewed our costumes. You have too much work already."

"It's alright! A World's Future Star has to master any skill, right?" Explained the blonde with a proud smile. "Toya has experience with composing music. I can ask him if he would be fine to teach it to me. Furthermore, Saki actually composes Leo/need's songs with the rest of her group, so I can ask her as well. I'm a fast learner so it won't be a problem at all !"

"We don't doubt that, but..." Sighed Nene with a concerned look.

"I want to do that too !" Suddenly, Emu shouted out with excitement. "Tsukasa already does a lot, so I want to help as well! If we are two working on the music, it will cut the work in half!"

The other two teammates exchanged a confused stare, and sighed. Rui finally nodded reluctantly, certainly knowing that he wouldn't be able to change the blonde's stubborn mind.

"Alright, let's do that then. But if you overwork yourself, I'll ask you to stop working on our music and only focus on your other tasks. It's the director's word."

"Received loud and clear !" Proudly exclaimed the blonde with a bright smile.

Rui sighed with a soft grin. Nene broke the silence with another question, changing the subject of their music.

"By the way, both of you were working on the script yesterday, right? How is it?"

"Well... to be completely honest with you, we still didn't finish it..." Admitted the director, smiling awkwardly.

"… I knew that asking the lovebirds to work on it was a bad idea." Sighed the diva with an annoyed tone.

"For once it wasn't because of this!" Brutally screamed the blonde with a flustered face. "I mean, not all of it! We were actually struggling to know how to write Rui's character."

"Hm? What's the problem with that?" Asked Emu with a confused look.

"I would like to perform on stage this time." Explained the director with a weak smile.

The two girls immediately shouted out in union, almost jumping on the director in panic. Since the unfortunate events and Rui's disability, the director played backstage. Just how Nene used to act with Nenerobo with a remote controller. The inventor was doing the same thing. After all, his body was unable to perform as it did before. He had suggested building a Ruirobo similar to Nenerobo, but got quickly cut off by Tsukasa who found it disturbing. Considering the dark thoughts that the inventor went through, it was uneasy to know that he would build a copy of himself. Rui apologised, and simply controlled other robots. Tsukasa was also against the idea of his boyfriend performing again, not because he didn't want to, it was quite the opposite. He would dream to be able to perform again with him. The last time they did, was during their waltz when he confessed to him. But...

Tsukasa was terrified.

He was certainly overprotective, but he couldn't bear the thought of Rui getting hurt again.

He escaped his thoughts at the director's voice, who was gently calming down the two girls.

"It's been a while now, and I'm feeling absolutely fine. The reason we struggle to write my character is precisely because we want to avoid any risks. It will certainly be a light role with no exercise, but I still want to make it work. Besides, we won't know my boundaries if we don't test them ourselves."

"Yes but... it's not just boundaries... It's about your health and safety." Complained the diva with concern.

"I already tried to make him change his mind, but he won't budge..." Pouted the blonde.

"Hehe~ My apologies." Chuckled weakly the director with guilt. "But I want to be on stage with the rest of you. I promise to be careful. If something happens, I will make sure to readjust the role again."

"Let's hope that nothing happens then..." Sighed Nene.

Tsukasa was still silent. He was staring at the ground with a small frown. He knew that he couldn't change his mind, and simply obliged. He understood the reason behind this decision, and how much it meant for Rui, but...

"Speaking of which!" Suddenly retorted the inventor himself with a smirk, waking up the blonde from his thoughts. "I found a show online. I found it particularly interesting since one of the actors is actually disabled. I'm sure that we can find numerous solutions to our current situation within this play. Would you like to watch it together? I still need to put subtitles since it's in english, so it should be ready for tomorrow."

"That sounds Wonderhoy!!" Happily exclaimed the pink-haired girl with enthusiasm. "I'm sure it will help Tsukasa and Rui to find ways to include Rui in the play! Let's watch it at my place!"

The rest of the troupe accepted without any debate. Nene and Emu seemed more relaxed and reassured, unlike Tsukasa.

Hopefully, rehearsal was really short this day, since the troupe didn't have a finished script to work with yet. Each of them went their separate ways, meanwhile Rui walked Tsukasa home. They were once again holding hands, walking in a comforting silence. Well, almost comforting silence. Tsukasa's head was spiraling with thoughts, while the warm air of summer felt suffocating. Rui seemed to have noticed his uneasiness, as he stopped walking, forcing the blonde to do the same by his grip on his hand.

"Tsukasa, is something wrong?"

The blonde quickly shook his head, and looked at his partner with a bright smile.

"Everything is absolutely fine!"

However, it seemed that his smile, as shiny as it could be, wasn't enough to deceive the inventor's eyes. The director didn't need to ask again, knowing perfectly what was bothering the star at the moment. Rui sighed, staring at the blonde with confidence.

"Tsukasa, we talked about it multiple times. I promise you that I'll be careful. You trust me, right ?"

The blonde groaned in frustration, avoiding the purple-haired boy's stare.

"It's... not a trust issue. Of course I trust you. It's... you know what it is!"

"I know..." Sadly murmured back the taller one.

Tsukasa suddenly felt two cold hands gently cupping his face, forcing him to raise his head.

"Tsukasa, please can you look at me for a second?"

The blonde waited a bit, and nodded with defeat. His stare moved back on his boyfriend, whose face was really close to his. However, Rui was looking at him with a mix of concern and determination. His thumbs were gently rubbing his cheekbones, as his soft voice reached his ears.

"Tsukasa, I know how nervous you are about me. I really appreciate your concern, but I want to perform on stage with you again."

"I... I want that too, but..."

"I know. You are scared after everything that happened. But it is also the reason why I want and need to perform with all of you. I'll be careful. If anything happens, I will make sure to take it into account to not make the same mistakes again."

"But I don't want things to happen! What if you don't have other opportunities to 'fix' those mistakes? I trust you and believe you, but... you..."

'You almost died.'

Those words stayed dead inside his throat.

Rui seemed to understand, or already knew what Tsukasa was thinking about. He gently removed his hands from his face, and wrapped his shoulders instead, pulling the blonde against his chest. The blonde instantly wrapped his arms around the thin waist of the other, letting himself melt into the touch. He felt one of the alchemist's hands rubbing his back in a comforting manner, while the other was caressing his head through his golden locks. Rui let a small kiss on top of his boyfriend's head, as he continued with a murmur.

"Tsukasa, it's going to be alright. I'm feeling a lot better. We'll never know if I can perform again if we never try, right? We'll go slowly, I promise."

The blonde sighed, hiding his face into the purple-haired boy's neck. The director waited for a few minutes, probably making sure that the star was calming down in his arms. After a little while, Rui finally let go of the embrace, cupping one of Tsukasa's cheeks with a tender smile.

"Am I allowed to kiss you, my pretty star?"

Tsukasa giggled at this question, holding Rui's hand.

"It goes without saying."

The director smiled, softly kissing the other's lips. It was a tender and slow kiss, helping the blonde to calm down again. It was almost unfair how his touches could be this hypnotic. The purple-haired boy finally broke the kiss, putting another one on the blonde's forehead.

"I'm sorry to still make you worry, but I'll do my best. I love you."

The blonde sighed, giving up. He simply nodded, staring at the director with a frown.

"If anything happens, you'll have to face my wrath."

"Your wrath?" Repeated Rui with a surprised expression, which quickly turned into an amused one. "Oh my~ Don't make me look forward to it."

"What- I didn't mean to do that?!" Brutally shouted out Tsukasa in shock.

"Hehe I know~ Sorry my curiosity took the better of me, you are also just too cute for me."

"Stop it already and let's go home !" Grunted the star, taking Rui's hand to drag him.

The director giggled, following the blonde.

As soon as they arrived in front of the Tenma's household, Rui kissed Tsukasa once again, before moving away from him.

"Rest well my star, see you tomorrow~"

With that he finally left, leaving the flustered blonde alone. Tsukasa sighed, opened the front door and entered his house. As usual, it was completely empty. Saki was at Ichika's place, while his parents were at work. He was used to it, so he didn't really mind.

He never minded solitude.

He was used to it.

After eating dinner, the blonde fell on his bed with a loud groan.

**

The room was dark.

Tsukasa turned around for the endless time that night, looking at his alarm clock with a sigh.

"… 3 am...?"

The blonde was having insomnia. He couldn't make that sick feeling inside his stomach stop, making him want to puke. The darkness of the room made him feel uneasy and cold. He sighed in frustration, getting up from his bed.

It seemed that tonight again, he wouldn't be able to sleep properly.

He opened his drawer, and took a box of sleeping pills. He opened it, and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh... it's the last one. I guess that I'll have to buy more tomorrow..."

He took his bottle of water, and swallowed the pill without any trouble. Then, he fell back into his bed with an annoying headache. On the other side of the bed, was the little pegasus robot that Rui built for his birthday a while ago. Even if it was a robot, it actually looked more like a plush because of its soft material. The blonde grabbed it, examining the few details on the small creature. He slightly turned the horn, making a soft melody resonate through his room. He softly giggled to the tune, holding the pegasus close to his chest. He felt a bit embarrassed and childish to listen to a lullaby at a time like this, but it helped his heartbeat calm down.

"Maybe... I should ask him for a new feature... or a new... song..."

Then slowly, his eyelids become heavy, forcing the blonde to succumb to the sleeping pills' effects.

Chapter Text

The alarm clock was making an annoying noise. Tsukasa groaned, turning it off lazily. As he thought, he was exhausted. Having barely 3 hours of sleep could only announce a tiring day. However, he was a star, the World's future star. He couldn't let a simple restless night defeat him ! He quickly prepared himself, and walked to school.

Along the way, he saw a purple head walking calmly a few meters away. The blonde immediately felt butterflies in his stomach, as he started running towards the taller boy. Rui must have heard his footsteps, since he turned around and smiled as soon as he recognised him.

"Hi my st-"

The director didn't have the time to finish his sentence when Tsukasa jumped on him, hugging him tightly. Rui seemed surprised, but quickly returned the embrace, softly patting the blonde's head.

"This is quite an energetic greeting. Hello to you too my star~"

Tsukasa didn't answer, simply snuggling into the crook of Rui's neck. He felt as if he could fall asleep just by being in this tight embrace. Furthermore, the director's hand on his head, playing with his golden locks, didn't help his sleep deprivation hitting back in his face. After a little while, he felt one of Rui's hands on his cheek, forcing the blonde to raise his head. He saw through his sleepy eyes the concerned look of his boyfriend.

"Hey, did you sleep well? Maybe you should go back to bed."

"Hm...? Hmm yes I did. What makes you doubt it?"

"… Pretty much everything right now." Replied the director with a bittersweet smile. "But if you want a specific answer, I would say that you seem really clingy all of a sudden."

"Hm... that's not an answer. I can't be clingy with you...?" Sadly pouted Tsukasa, feeling his eyes water.

Rui gasped in confusion and panic, leaving apologising kisses all along the blonde's face.

"No no I never meant that, I'm sorry. But Tsukasa right now you really, really look tired, I'm getting worried."

…

Did he look that tired?

But he actually felt alright, a bit light headed, but he didn't feel as exhausted as he was when he woke up. He sighed, lowering his head down.

"… Sorry."

"You don't have to apologise, you did nothing wrong." Reassured Rui with a comforting smile, taking one of Tsukasa's hands. "Are you sure that you want to go to school? Do you want me to walk you back home perhaps?"

Tsukasa shook his head, tightening his hold on Rui's hand.

"No, it's alright, I want to go to class. I'm sure that I'll feel more awake after a bit."

"Alright if you say so, but go to the nurse's office if you feel too tired, okay?"

Tsukasa slightly smiled, following Rui through the streets.

**

He definitely should have listened to Rui and gone back home.

It was taking all his strength to not fall on his desk, trying desperately to listen to each of the teacher's words. He usually didn't have this much trouble staying awake after a sleepless night, but maybe having multiple ones since a few weeks didn't help. He had no idea why, but his sleep schedule has been pretty bad recently. Even if he had a good day, he would have insomnia.

However, when he was with Rui, it was as if the purple-haired boy had a sleep spell, allowing the blonde to rest fully.

Maybe he got too used to his presence to be able to sleep alone now...?

He didn't really know, but all he knew was how exhausted he felt. Still, as stubborn as he was, he wanted to finish that day of school.

Unfortunately, the day was awfully long. The only good moment was during breaks, when he could cuddle with Rui and feel his battery being recharged. But still, it wasn't enough to help him completely all day. He had no idea how he managed to not fall asleep at least once.

The final bell rang, allowing every student to get home. Tsukasa finally left the school, holding hands once again with Rui, while Nene joined them in a hurry.

"Rui, you have the video of the show?"

"I do, it's in my bag." Confirmed the director with a proud smile.

Oh, that was right. They were going to Emu's place instead of the Wonder Stage, in order to watch the show that Rui talked about. At least, Tsukasa wouldn't need to do any exercise, even if he certainly wouldn't have anyway since they didn't have a full script yet. The couple followed Nene who knew perfectly the way to the pink-haired girl's house, thanks to her numerous sleepovers there. During the walk, Tsukasa felt Rui softly kissing the top of his head with a tender smile.

"How are you feeling, my star? Better than this morning?"

Despite his tiredness, Tsukasa proudly answered with a loud voice:

"I'm perfectly fine! See, I told you, I was just still not properly awake!"

The director softly smiled in reply. However, the star could see how his face was still filled with concern.

"Tsukasa, if you are too tired to go to Emu's place it's alright. I'll send the show to you so that you can watch it later."

"Nonsense! I said that I was feeling perfectly fine, so there is no need!"

Tsukasa didn't know if he believed him or not, but Rui didn't push the matter further. He only sighed, leaving yet another comforting kiss on top of his blonde head.

They didn't take too much time to arrive at the Otori residence. Emu instantly greeted them with enthusiasm, guiding them to her bedroom. Tsukasa gasped as soon as he saw the extravagant room, with so many colours that he thought they could blind him. He quickly noticed a few bowls full of snacks on the coffee table, as well as many cushions all over the room. Emu's attention was suddenly focused on Rui, as she waved her arms widely with energy.

"Rui!! Do you have the show? I can bring a screen or the TV here!"

"That won't be necessary. I brought my laptop." Smiled the director with his cat grin, opening his school bag.

He took his laptop out, immediately turning it on. Tsukasa stared at him with a gasp, yelling in surprise.

"You brought it to school?!"

"Oya? Does that seriously surprise you? I brought more surprising items at school before. Or maybe you think that a laptop is more crazy than bombs." Giggled the director with a teasing tone.

"I- alright now that you say it..."

"Hehe~ A lot of students actually bring their own laptops, even more in higher studies. It isn't something as surprising as it sounds." Elaborated Rui, plugging his laptop to the nearest outlet for his laptop's battery.

Rui sat down on a cushion, preparing the movie while the others were bringing drinks and a few blankets. They certainly didn't need to put so much effort for a simple kind of movie, but the blonde couldn't deny how the room felt surprisingly comfy. Emu quickly closed the curtains, sinking the room in complete darkness. The only source of light was the laptop's screen. Rui took out another item from his school bag, turning it on.

"I also brought a small speaker."

"Wo!! It will feel as if we were in a cinema !!" Happily cheered Emu, jumping behind Rui.

"Well, maybe not as much, but at least it will make the viewing even better." Explained the alchemist with a small chuckle.

When they finally finished to set everything up, the troupe sat down into the pillows. Tsukasa was about to do the same, but Rui called out his name. He was happily tapping on his thighs, inviting the blonde to sit on his lap. Despite his sudden embarrassment and speeding of his heartbeat, he obliged and sat between the director's legs, on the cushion. Rui immediately wrapped his waist with his arms, pulling the boy closer to him and rest his head on the blonde's shoulder.

"There, perfect~" Smirked the director, slightly squeezing his hold.

Nene sighed with a small smile, finally playing the video.

As Rui explained the day before, it was an American show. He had meticulously added Japanese subtitles, helping the others to understand the whole show. It meant that he had watch it beforehand, and still wanted to watch it with the troupe too. Besides, it was a few hours long, how did he manage to translate it in such a short period of time?! The only possibility was that he was actually working on it for days, and only presented it to his friends the day before. Tsukasa felt butterflies in his stomach, just thinking on how thoughtful his boyfriend was.

While they were watching, Tsukasa found himself melting bit by bit into Rui's hold, letting his back completely rest on his chest. After some time, Nene moved one of the bowls of snacks next to the boys, figuring out that they couldn't reach it in their position. The alchemist silently thanked her to not disturb the viewing, and took one of the chips. Instead of bringing it to his own lips, he waved it in front of Tsukasa, asking wordlessly if he wanted to eat some. The blonde simply opened his mouth as an answer, letting Rui happily feed him with the little snack. He giggled at this action, snuggling into the alchemist's neck.

…

The room was a bit too dark.

Rui's chest felt weirdly warmer than usual.

Rui's hands were gently rubbing his sides, as he would let a few small kisses on top of his head and on his neck.

It felt... too comfortable.

Tsukasa didn't know how much time had passed, and was now lost in the storyline of the show.

He couldn't read the subtitles anymore, they seemed to be dancing fuzzily on the screen.

Why were they watching it again? Where were they again...?

His head felt awfully heavy, the same went for his eyelids.

He suddenly heard Rui whisper in his ear to not disturb the girls, who were focused on the play.

"Are you alright?"

Tsukasa slowly nodded, snuggling into Rui's hold. He tried to fight against his exhaustion, but his lack of sleep quickly caught him back.

He suddenly felt cold fingers against his cheeks, making him open his eyes.

"Do you want to lay down on the bed?" Quietly asked Rui, carefully holding the blonde to not let him fall forward.

Tsukasa slowly shook his head and answered in a murmur through his slumber.

"I'm... fine..."

He thought that he heard Rui softly chuckle. He felt his boyfriend's warmth leaving his back, as the director seemed to make him change their position. Tsukasa quickly crawled back to the other's chest, snuggling into his shoulder. It was now his side which was resting against the director's chest, letting his head fall against his shoulder without worrying for his neck to break. He let a content sigh, forgetting about his current whereabouts. The director was softly rubbing his back with one hand, while the other moved his strand of hair behind his ear. He felt Rui's warm lips kissing gently his forehead, making the blonde melt into the touch. All he could think about was Rui's comforting touches, as he let his slumber take over him.

**

Rui knew how exhausted Tsukasa was.
He noticed the bags under his eyes for a few days, but preferred to not comment on it. He thought that he was simply really busy considering that summer break was near.

But this morning it was awfully worse.

The blonde seemed more sensitive than usual, almost crying for just a little comment that the alchemist made. During breaks, we was still really clingy and spacing out. Tsukasa wasn't even walking straight, Rui feared that he would fall down at any time. He was actually surprised that the blonde stayed awake this long. He gently held the sleepy boy in his arms, while the girls were too immersed into the movie to notice that their leader was now sleeping soundly. It was surprising, considering his loud snoring. The director could blame his speakers for muffling his boyfriend's sleeping sounds.

As soon as the show ended, the girls turned around to face the two other members of the troupe, and gasped in surprise.

"Tsukasa?! Is he alright?"

"Don't worry, he simply fell asleep." Answered the alchemist with a soft smile. "He seemed to not have slept well..."

"Oh no!" Emu suddenly cried with worry. "Poor Tsukasa! I hope he's going to be alright!"

Rui chuckled, leaving yet another kiss on the blonde's forehead.

"For now, he simply needs to catch some sleep. I'm sure that he'll be fine, I'll make sure of it."

"Should we let the curtain close?" Shyly asked Nene, playing with her hair.

"No it's alright, you can open them. I doubt that it would disturb his sleep."

The diva nodded, and got up to open the curtains, finally letting some light in. As the alchemist stated, Tsukasa didn't react at all, still snoring into the other's arms. Nene sat back on her cushion, while the director began to talk about the show they just saw.

"What did you think? Did you enjoy the show?"

"Yes! It was all boingy boingy and kira kira!" Happily claimed Emu with excitement.

"You said that one of the actors was disabled...? I didn't notice which one..." Shyly retorted Nene.

"It's actually the main actor. He is blind." Answered Rui with a smile.

"He is?! I couldn't tell at all!" Gasped Emu with a shocked expression.

"It's the reason why I wanted to show you this performance. They managed to write the script and prepare the props to make it playable for the actor. I want to try that same work for us, but on my own disability."

"So you mean, relying on your robots for your acting ?"

"Exactly." Nodded Rui to the gamer, still rubbing softly Tsukasa's back. "Since I can't do any exercise, maybe I can build some kind of prothetis, which could help me move more and use less energy? Or maybe with the stage set up, I can rely on multiple props to contrast my lack of movement. There are multiple solutions that we can think about. Therefore, performing doesn't necessarily mean that I'll have to dance like the rest of you. After all, we already did think about an alternative way back when I was deadly sick. It's simply the same now, but without the flowers."

"Hm... That is a fair point. But..."

"I know Nene, you are all worried. But I will be careful. I'm willing to take the risk if it can help us determine my boundaries for our shows. You can't deny that being only three actors is a bit tense." Weakly smiled the director, trying to comfort the nervous diva.

"I trust you, Rui!" Emu suddenly shouted out with her big smile. "Let's think about it together, I'll bring a notebook and write the ideas on it!"

Rui nodded, looking at his pink friend who was searching inside her bag. His stare lowered back to his boyfriend, who's face seemed to flinch.

"Oya?"

Rui carefully let a sweet kiss on his forehead, hoping for it to help the blonde calm down. He couldn't help but feel uneased by the blonde's expression. It looked as if he was in pain, reminding him of that time where he was badly sick. He carefully put his hand against the blonde's forehead, checking his temperature. He didn't seem to have any fever. He simply looked in distress. The director gently cupped one of his cheeks, slowly rubbing his cheekbone with his thumb.

"Hey, Tsukasa? Can you hear me?" Rui called for the blonde, trying to wake him up.

"You want to wake him up? I thought that you wanted him to catch back some sleep!" Asked the pink-haired girl with confusion.

"He seems to be having a nightmare, maybe it should be best to help him wake up from it." Explained the director with a concerned look, noticing how the blonde's body began to tremble into his arms.

**

The space was dark and cold. Tsukasa had no idea where he was, he was simply walking slowly, as he could feel his heartbeat speeding up from anxiety. It was awfully silent, making his spine shiver. He couldn't stand silence, even more in an empty space like this. Suddenly, his steps began to make some noise. He stared down, and noticed how he was walking on a puddle of water. However, it didn't seem to have any limit, endlessly expanding just like the space he was in. He began to walk faster, trying to find any kind of exit.

"Is someone here?"

He suddenly heard a muffled chuckle.

He turned around in panic, but nobody was there. He could feel his heart beating atrociously fast, threatening to escape his ribcage. Why was he this nervous? His stare unconsciously travelled down, once again looking at the puddle of water at his feet.

His blood turned cold.

On top of the water, was a masterwort.

He slowly walked backwards, unable to move his stare away from the menacing flower. His head suddenly felt fuzzy, as it became more difficult to breathe. Slowly, the water surrounding the flower began to turn red, progressing slowly towards him.

Terrified, Tsukasa began to run away, not even knowing the destination.

The chuckle he heard intensified, turning into a burst of laughter.

Something suddenly held his ankle, making him brutally fall down on the puddle of water. He turned around, and saw roots attached on his leg. The blonde screamed in panic, trying desperately to remove it from his limb. All of a sudden, it harshly pulled him down through the floor, or what seemed to be the water's surface. He desperately tried to swim back up, but the stem was holding him back, dragging him deeper into the sea.

He was drowning.

**

Tsukasa brutally gasped in panic, trying desperately to get some air into his lungs. His heart was beating frenetically, making him feel dizzy and nauseous. All of a sudden, he felt the arms around him tightening their hold, as a cold hand gently patted his head.

"Everything's fine, it was a nightmare."

As soon as he heard this voice, Tsukasa raised his eyes and saw Rui, gently kissing his forehead to help him calm down.

"We are in Emu's room, we were watching the show. Do you remember?"

Oh... that was right. They were in her bedroom, and he had fallen asleep. Tsukasa let a long sigh escape his lips, leaning into his boyfriend's chest. One of his hands was holding tightly on Rui's cardigan, as if he was preventing him from disappearing. Meanwhile his heartbeat was still fast into his chest, unable to slow down.

"… Sorry... I fell asleep." Apologised weakly the blonde, keeping his stare down.

"It's alright don't worry." Reassured Nene with a soft smile. "It's a good thing if you needed a nap. However, it didn't seem as restful as it should..."

"Are you alright? You look terrified..." Calmly asked Rui, comforting the blonde through his soft pats.

"I... I am. Sorry."

"Don't apologise for that." Immediately retorted the alchemist with a small frown. "I'll walk you home as soon as you calm down, alright ?"

"No, I'm fine! Really, I can walk on my own-"

Tsukasa cut his sentence as soon as his stare met his boyfriend's. It was firm and commanding. The blonde simply sighed and nodded, to mentally drained to argue. Emu suddenly sat right next to them with a sketchbook in hand, catching the blonde's attention with her high-pitched voice. She seeemed to want to help his thoughts focusing on something else.

"Look! We were discussing the show we saw! You can watch it later if you want!"

Then, she began to explain what the three others were talking about, and the reason behind that abrupt movie session. It helped the blonde to clear his mind and feel his heartbeat finally slow down. He found himself being more and more focused into the sudden conversation, as his anxiety was calming down, letting his loud proud self come back.

"Oh! That does sound like a marvellous idea!" Tsukasa suddenly shouted out proudly, still in Rui's arms. "I'm sure that our wonderful director will be able to find a solution!"

As soon as he uttered those words, he noticed how Rui's face brutally turned red. He chuckled, trying to feel less flustered.

"I will do my best to not disappoint you."

"I already said it before, you never disappointed me and never will." Groaned the blonde, slightly pinching Rui's cheeks with a frown.

After a little while, the couple finally left the Otori residence, walking back to Tsukasa's house. Meanwhile Nene was staying at her place. As usual, Rui was holding his hand, talking with a thin smile on his lips. The blonde was looking at his boyfriend with admiration, listening to each of his passionate words. He was already thinking about inventions that he could build for their show, being excited to see how they would work. Surprisingly, they reached the blonde's house quickly, as both of them were standing in front of the door. Tsukasa was about to kiss Rui as a goodbye, but got stopped by the alchemist who asked with concern:

"Do you want me to spend the night with you?"

Tsukasa's cheeks suddenly turned red, staring at his boyfriend with confusion. Rui giggled, softly smiling at him.

"You were really tired today, and seemed to have a pretty bad nightmare back at Emu's place. Maybe having some company could help you feel more at ease?"

"O-oh no don't worry! I'm absolutely fine!" Immediately retorted the star with a prideful smile.

"Are you sure? You still seem a bit nervous. Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what? The nightmare? I don't really think that it's that important, really." Tsukasa avoided his stare, rubbing his cheek.

However, the director's face didn't flinch. He was still staring at the blonde with concern, and with all his attention. Despite the star's attempts, it seemed that the alchemist wouldn't let him go that easily. The blonde sighed. Since they dated, they promised to be more open and honest with each other. Considering that Rui witnessed it, it was certainly useless to avoid it now.

"I have had nightmares for a while now. But I actually don't remember what they are about when I wake up."

"Really? And you don't remember anything at all? Maybe we could find the reason behind them and find a solution to make them stop?"

"Hm..." Tsukasa brought his hand to his chin, forcefully frowning. "I... can just remember that I can't breathe, and I feel terrified. That's all I can think of."

"Hm..." Rui seemed deep in thoughts as well.

"It's alright really, they are just nightmares anyway. You don't need to find some kind of cure. They'll just stop at some point, so don't worry about it!" Shouted out the star with a proud smile and crossed arms.

However, Rui instantly frowned. He brutally grabbed the blonde's shoulders, staring at him.

"Tsukasa, you were exhausted. You don't only have nightmares, do you?"

The star gulped, avoiding the director's stare. Rui sadly sighed, cupping his face gently with his cold hands. He softly kissed his forehead while his thumbs were caressing his cheekbones.

"You were absolutely terrified when you woke up, and you tell me that you have been having those nightmares for a while now. I'm sure that there is an explanation. Furthermore, you are exhausted, which means that they have been troubling your sleep schedule to a really bad amount. So don't tell me not to worry."

Tsukasa sighed, nodding reluctantly. After all, he knew that Rui was right, and he couldn't argue with him at that moment. A star also needs to acknowledge when they lose. The director removed his hands from the blonde's face as his facial expression softened.

"I'll ask again, do you want me to spend the night at your place?"

"No it's alright, really." Insisted the blonde with a smile. "But thank you, I really appreciate it."

"Alright, if this is what you want." Replied the inventor, still holding one of the blonde's hands. "Don't hesitate if you need anything."

As soon as Rui uttered those words, Tsukasa gasped. The alchemist looked at him in confusion and surprise, as the blonde suddenly loudly exclaimed.

"W-wait! I actually wanted to ask you something, wait for me here !"

Without waiting for an answer, the star quickly entered his house to run to his bedroom. As soon as he grabbed the specific item, he ran back down to reach his initial spot in front of Rui. The director was patiently waiting for him, with a confused stare. Tsukasa showed him the robot he had in hands with a bright smile.

"Oya? Isn't it the pegasus I did for your birthday?"

"Indeed!" Happily confirmed Tsukasa.

His cheeks quickly turned red, as he avoided the alchemist's stare.

"I... hm... could you add a few features on it?"

Rui raised his eyebrows in surprise. However, he instantly smiled brightly at his boyfriend. Tsukasa immediately noticed the excitement in his golden eyes, which were happily sparkling. He swore that he could see a little tail behind his back, bouncing around with excitement.

"Of course, I would gladly do that! What do you want, my dear star?"

"Hm, it may sound weird but... could it make light?"

"Light?" The director tilted his head to the side, bringing his hand to his chin. "As a night light, or as a lamp?"

"Hm... More as a night light?" Stammered the blonde with embarrassment. "If you want of course! It sounds a bit weird..."

"No, don't worry it doesn't at all, I promise." Reassured the director, carefully taking the robot in his hands. "Do you want it to change colour as well?"

"I don't really mind, do it as you please! Maybe you could also... add new songs? I mean, if it is possible."

Rui giggled, nodding to the blonde with a small smile.

"Of course. Do you know which songs specifically or not really?"

"Hmm... I don't mind either, any song really. Well- hm... I mean... don't judge me!"

Tsukasa's face was atrociously warm and red, feeling all his dignity getting shattered bit by bit. Then, Rui carefully put the robot into his bag with a soft chuckle.

"I wouldn't dare. Don't worry, I think that I understood what you meant. I'll work on it tonight then."

"Tonight?! It's alright you can work on it later, don't rush." Immediately shouted out the blonde in panic, worried to make the alchemist overwork himself for a simple robot.

"Don't worry, I won't pull an all-nighter if that was what was troubling you. I'll try my best to do it as soon as possible if it can help you sleep better." Gently smiled the director. "Are you still sure that you don't want to sleep at my place, or me at yours?"

"Yes I'm sure after the three times that you asked this." Retorted the blonde with pride, crossing his arms.

"Alright alright. Then see you tomorrow my dear star, make sure to rest well." Finally concluded the alchemist, kissing the blonde softly before walking away.

Once again, Tsukasa was alone at the front door. He took a deep breath, and entered his house, hoping for this night to be better.

After all, they had a long rehearsal tomorrow, and Rui was going to practice with them for the first time in months.

Tsukasa couldn't help but feel nervous at this thought, hoping for anything bad to happen.

Chapter Text

This night wasn't better than the previous one.

Tsukasa was cursing himself, he had forgotten to get to the nearest pharmacy to buy sleeping pills. After all, as soon as school was finished, he went to Emu's place and then got back home with Rui. And this time, as childish as it could sound for him, he didn't have that silly robot anymore, which helped him at least calm down a bit for his previous insomnias. He felt nervous and terrified. Even if he couldn't remember his nightmare, he could recall the anxiety and atrocious feeling inside his throat.

He didn't want to experience that again.

Well, he couldn't if he doesn't fall asleep at all anyway... But he still needed to find some sleep. It wasn't too late yet, about midnight. But it was already too late for the bright star that he was. He sighed, grabbing his phone.

Maybe... going to this place would help ?

A white flash blinded him, transporting the blonde to his SEKAI.

Reflecting the time in the real world, the sky was also dark. However, the entire place was illuminated by the lights of the different attractions and lamps. As usual, his SEKAI was bright and colourful. He instantly felt his heartbeat calming down, as the usual noises of this place comforted him. The little singing of the flowers, the few melodies in the Ferris Wheel, the faint sound of a conversation between plushies...

'Loneliness' was a concept that couldn't exist in a place like this.

He began to wander, as if he was discovering this place for the first time. He still didn't see every parts of it. His SEKAI was so gigantic, that knowing every corner was almost impossible. Maybe he should take a day to explore it to every detail. Rui would be more than glad to accompany him for such a quest.

After a little while, he sat on a bench with a deep sigh, looking at the flying train above him. Even if he was the creator, and owner of such a place, he couldn't realise how it could even have been possible. And yet, here he was.

"Oh, hi Tsukasa. I wasn't expecting you here at such an hour."

The blonde jumped in surprise as soon as he heard the voice. He quickly turned his face around, and saw Kaito walking up to him with a welcoming grin. Tsukasa sighed in relief, and greeted the blue man with a bright smile.

"Do you mind some company?" Asked the Virtual Singer with a calm tone.

"A World's future star never declines an invitation to some chit-chat!"Brightly answered Tsukasa as he crossed his arms with pride.

Kaito giggled at this reaction, and sat down next to the blonde. The Virtual singer looked at the star, his smile slowly faded for a concerned look.

"Is something bothering you? It is unusual to see you here at this time. You normally sleep at this hour."

"Well... This is precisely the issue." Awkwardly giggled the blonde, rubbing his cheek nervously. "I can't fall asleep."

"Oh? Do you have insomnia?"

"Yes. I usually use sleeping pills these days, but I forgot to buy a new box today. So..."

"Since when have you been taking them?" Asked the blue singer, his tone quickly switching from reassuring to serious.

"H-hm... a week or two...?" Hesitantly answered the blonde, already knowing how Kaito was going to react.

"Tsukasa, it isn't healthy to take sleeping pills in a long-term way. Do you have any headaches, dizziness or nausea?"

"Hm... a bit but it's manageable really. And yes I know, but I can't sleep otherwise. I don't have much of a choice..."

"Do you take cafés? Is something troubling you these days?" Asked the adult, continuing his interrogation.

"I don't, and I don't really know either... it just happened all of a sudden, I suppose."

Kaito brought his hand to his chin, deep in thoughts. The blonde knew that he couldn't really help him, despite giving advice or trying to clear some thoughts. But the issue was that the star had absolutely no idea what the issue was to begin with. He even said it to Rui, he didn't know. His cheeks suddenly turned pink at the thought of his boyfriend, as he began to ask with shyness.

"Hm... I do have a question... But it may sound weird."

"I'm sure it won't, ask away." Comforted the Virtual Singer with a soft smile.

"… Hm... W-well you know... Since Rui and I started dating we hm... sometimes we sleep in the same bed... Nothing too extravagant!! I mean couples do that, right...? And when I... sleep with Rui next to me hm... I hmm..." Hesitated the poor star, whose face was burning up at the second with invisible steam escaping his red ears.

"You?"

"I can sleep...?"

"I don't see what is troubling you here." Giggled softly the Virtual Singer, making the blonde scream in embarrassment. "Isn't it a good thing? Why don't you spend the night with him if it helps you sleep properly?"

"B-because that's embarrassing!!" Brutally shouted out the blonde, feeling his cheeks burning up. "I mean- O-Of course I love it but... He also needs to have his own privacy, right? I mean... we can't always be glued to each other, so... I don't want to disturb him? Or... to be too much...?"

"I'm sure that Rui would be more than glad to stay with you every night." Smiled Kaito, patting the blonde's flustered head. "Why don't you ask him?"

"W-well.. hm... the thing is, I wonder if my insomnia is also because of this? I mean... What if I'm so used to spending nights with him that I can't sleep without him now? Wouldn't that be troublesome?! I mean- I don't want him to turn into my sleeping pills."

Kaito giggled, looking at the blonde with a comforting smile.

"I'm sure that it isn't the case. Something must be troubling you, and having his presence helps you calm down and feel safe. I don't think there is more to it than that."

Tsukasa mumbled under his breath, his face threatening to explode because of how red it was.

"S-sorry for talking about this kind of... a... lovey dovey cringe things..."

"Don't apologise for that, there is no shame in talking about it." Reassure Kaito, patting gently the blonde's hair. "As a matter of fact, I'm even glad that you do that. You finally let your feelings and thoughts out more than you used to. Now, you need to do the same with Rui. I'm convinced that you already improved a lot on this matter, but you still need to work on it. The same goes for him."

Tsukasa simply nodded, feeling that his heart would explode with shame if he let another embarrassing word out of his dry mouth. He felt Kaito's warm hand leaving his head, as he asked with a calm voice:

"Do you want to sleep here? Maybe having the plushies around will help you?"

The blonde nodded, already planning to do that in the first place. The both of them stood up, as Tsukasa followed the other to the tent. They were quickly followed by the bunny plush flying thanks to the balloons, as well as curious other plushies. They went backstage to a staff room, where there was a bed and other medical equipment.

"Here, you can sleep on this bed. Don't hesitate if you need anything, we are always nearby."

"You have my eternal gratitude Kaito! You really are an amazing troupe leader!" Thanked the blonde with a light bow, starting the blue singer.

"Don't worry, no need to be this formal. I hope that you'll rest well. I'll wake you up tomorrow to not make you miss school."

Tsukasa nodded, laying down on the bed with the bunny plush. As soon as he was alone, or at least only with plushies, he closed his eyes and hoped to finally be able to sleep. His nervousness wasn't here anymore, feeling more calmed than he was a few moments before. Maybe this time, he'll be able to get some proper rest.

**

Rui was working on the pegasus that he gifted to Tsukasa. He quickly guessed the reason behind the blonde's request, and quickly started working on it. After all, if it could help improve his sleep schedule, he shouldn't wait too long. However, he quickly recalled the terrified state the star was in as soon as he woke up a few hours before. How could a nightmare be this terrifying to shake him like that?

Deep down, Rui was wondering if there was something more to it.

However, Tsukasa seemed to not know either. He couldn't really be able to help if both of them are unaware of the causes, right? Rui suddenly gasped at a sudden realisation.

Maybe they knew ?

He quickly grabbed his phone, playing the song 'The world hasn't even started yet'.

As soon as the white flashed vanished, Rui looked at his surroundings. Suddenly, he saw Kaito calmly walking out from the tent. The director was about to run, but quickly remembered that he wasn't supposed to. Hopefully, the Virtual Singer noticed him, and walked to the teenager in surprise.

"Hi Rui, do you need anything?"

"Sorry to bother you Kaito, I was wondering if you could enlighten me about something." Hesitantly asked the director with a small smile. "It's about Tsukasa."

Kaito raised his eyebrows. However, his expression didn't seem to be that surprised, almost as if he was expecting this. Rui quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts, and began to explain.

"Apparently he suffers from insomnia these days. We went to Emu's place this afternoon, and he managed to catch some sleep, but had a terrible nightmare too. I suppose that he has been having those for a while now, but he doesn't remember them. So... since this SEKAI is linked to his feelings, I was wondering if you knew anything? Did something appear in the SEKAI?"

Kaito brought his hand to his chin, thinking about his answer. Then he finally and calmly answered.

"I know about his insomnia. He's here in fact."

"Wh- Tsukasa is here? Is he alright?" Suddenly gasped Rui, feeling his heartbeat speeding up from nervousness.

"Don't worry he is fine. He is sleeping, or at least trying to sleep in the staff room. The same one you slept in a few months ago." Explained Kaito with a small smile. "He was having trouble sleeping, and figured out that he could feel better here."

"I-I see..." Retorted Rui, lowering his head.

As he thought, Tsukasa wouldn't be able to sleep tonight either. But despite his attempts, he still declined his invitations to sleep at his place, or to stay with him. Did he do something wrong...? Was he too clingy with him? Did he make him that upset because of his desire to perform on stage with them again?

He suddenly felt Kaito's hand on top of his head, reassuring him.

"Don't worry, he has nothing against you at all. He just felt embarrassed to ask you to stay with him, and doesn't want to always have to rely on you to have a better sleep schedule."

"O-oh. You really can read us like an opened book." Awkwardly giggled Rui.

"Of course. I can't do less as your Virtual Singer after all." Softly chuckled the blue-haired man, moving his hand away. "And to answer your question, I have no idea what may be troubling him. And nothing appeared in the SEKAI either."

"I see.." Sighed Rui, unable to hide his disappointment. "I don't really know if I can help him, or how to help him. After all, he did so much to me, and he still does. I have never been happier in my life. It's thanks to him that we are both still here too. He... really is my knight. But unlike him, I can only build robots or do balloon arts. I'm not as good with words as him, so... I don't really know how I can help."

"It's alright, you don't need to repay him in any way. I'm sure that he already told you this." Reassured Kaito with a soft smile. "Just staying by his side, listening to him and making him feel comfortable and safe enough to open up is enough. He'll tell you what he needs."

"But the thing is that he is particularly stubborn. He doesn't really seek help."

"I know, which is why you have to be patient with him, and make sure that he understands that it is alright to seek help. I know that it isn't an easy task, but take your own pace. And both of you aren't alone, so you can always talk about it with the others or us."

Rui slowly nodded with a faint smile. He suddenly giggled quietly, looking away with a light blush.

"Ah, hm.. sorry. I'm a bit of a worrywart these days."

"Don't worry it's alright. I'll try to keep you updated if I have any news. But it will be best if Tsukasa talks about it himself."

The director nodded with a little sigh.

"I know that I'm not the best person to say that, but let's hope that the stubborn star allows himself to share some of his worries. I just hope that I'm not making anything worse."

"Why would you make anything worse?" Asked the Virtual Singer, surprised.

"Well... tomorrow I'll practice with the others for the first time since I was hospitalised. I really want to be able to perform on stage with them, but they are really worried, especially Tsukasa."

"Hm... Considering what happened, it is totally understandable." Commented Kaito, pinching his chin. "However, if you don't play a tough role, I don't see why it shouldn't be possible."

"Precisely, so I have to prove to him that it's going to be alright. I just hope that my body won't betray me..."

"I hope not either. But as you said, you'll never know if you don't try. Take it easy and take a break as soon as you feel the need." Retorted the Virtual Singer with a comforting smile.

"I'll be careful, thank you Kaito."

In order to prevent losing even more hours of sleep, Rui finally left the SEKAI. As soon as he was back into his workshop, he reluctantly went to bed instead of working on the robot. After all, if he wanted to help Tsukasa, he had to keep a good sleep schedule himself.

**

Hopefully, Tsukasa did manage to fall asleep. He had no idea if it was the presence of the plushies, or because he was in his SEKAI, but he didn't have any nightmares either. Maybe having it at Emu's place prevented it from happening again, in some way? Asking his brain how his dreams work wasn't really possible anyway, he simply acknowledged it, and prepared himself to go to school.

As soon as Rui joined him, he immediately asked how he was feeling, and if he had a good sleep. It made the star smile, comforting his worried boyfriend. As usual, the director held his hand, walking to the path to school.

Unlike the day before, classes went by rather quickly. It was already the break, allowing Tsukasa to left his desk. Normally, he would join Rui, but right now he had someone else to see. He quickly walked through the corridors, reaching class 1-B. As soon as he arrived, he noticed the person he was looking for, greeting him loudly.

"Hi Toya!"

The younger student jumped in surprise, immediately turning around. A smile instantly drew itself on his face, as he walked to reach his friend's level.

"Hi Tsukasa, it is a pleasure to see you. Is everything alright?"

"Absolutely!" Proudly answered the blonde, striking a pose. "I actually came to ask you for a favor, if you don't mind."

Toya tilted his head to the side, silently asking for the star to elaborate.

"To put it simply, our troupe, Wonderlands x Showtime, would like to improve even more our shows! And to do so, we thought that composing our own music should be a marvellous step. Since you have experience in composing music, I was wondering if you didn't mind teaching me and Emu?"

As soon as he finished his sentence, he saw Toya's eyes shining with sparkles. He noticed how his lips were about to draw a smile, before his expression quickly switched to a serious and determined one, as he put his hand on his chest.

"I'll be more than honored to teach you, Tsukasa. I hope that my teachings will be to your liking, I'll do my very best."

"That is the spirit!" Happily replied the blonde with his iconic loud laugh. "You can tell me when you'll be free to schedule this. Don't worry about setting up anything, we'll practice at my place."

"Alright, I will send you my schedule." Nodded Toya with a small smile.

The star thanked his friend multiple times, and finally left his classroom to regain his own.

The rest of the day passed rather quickly. Before Tsukasa knew it, it was already time to go to the Wonder Stage to practice. He was holding hands with Rui, as he was proudly talking about his discussion with his friend.

"He sent his schedule to me! Emu and I will be able to work on it soon. Ha ha ha!"

"That is amazing, my star." Smiled back Rui, rewarding his hard work with a peck on the top of his head. "Don't overwork yourself though, promise?"

"If you don't overwork yourself then I won't."

"Oya~ Is my little precious star doing blackmails now?" Dramatically gasped the inventor with crocodile tears. "My poor precious boyfriend turned evil and is threatening me... snif~"

"I'm not!" Brutally shouted out the blonde with a frown. "Ugh! I meant- I'll be as careful as you are yourself! There!"

"Hehe~ alright alright, I was kidding." Chuckled the director with his cat grin. "I trust you, my dear."

The star's frown immediately vanished to leave a bright smile. He loudly, and proudly laughed. They didn't take too much time to reach the park, accompanied along the way by Nene. As usual, Emu was already there in her costume, talking with the mascot. As soon as she saw them, she instantly jumped in place and ran up to them.

"Wonderhoy! Today we can start practicing with Rui!"

Rui chuckled at this sentence, nodding with excitement.

"Absolutely. Bear with me though, I won't be as energetic as you."

Emu nodded with enthusiasm. Since she was already in her outfit, Nene went backstage to change, while the other girl stayed with the boys to talk. Before she could add anything else, Tsukasa pulled the rug out from under her.

"By the way! I was able to see Toya earlier, and he accepted to teach us how to compose music. I'll send you his schedule!"

"Oh?! That's so amazing!! It's so kira kira won won wonderhoy!" Happily answered the pink-haired girl with excitement.

They continued to chat for a little while, until the diva came out from backstage. As soon as she was ready, it was the couple's turn. Both of them walked down the stairs to reach that specific room. Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, Tsukasa's vision brutally turned fuzzy. He continued to walk towards the specific room, but the nearer he got, the more uncomfortable he felt. He suddenly stopped, surprising Rui.

"Hm? What is it, Tsukasa? Did you forget something?"

Instinctively, Tsukasa took the director's hand on his own. Rui tilted his head to the side, a bit confused by this sudden action.

"Is something wrong?"

"Ah-" The blonde didn't really know why he did that to begin with, and quickly released his hand with an awkward giggle. "Nothing! You were a bit too silent, I was making sure that you didn't run away with fear of our incredible practice."

"Oya? Of course I won't." Smiled the director, unable to hide his obvious confusion to this awkward chit chat. "Are you sure that nothing's wrong? You look a bit... out of breath?"

"A-ah? Y-yes I'm just super excited to start practicing!"

Tsukasa awkwardly smiled, not understanding himself what took over him. He quickly shook his head, and walked to the door backstage despite Rui's worried stare.

The door was closed.

Tsukasa had no idea why, but for some reason, a cold shiver ran down his spine.

'I wonder if they are alright... They have been here for quite some time now.'

'I don't know... Nene seemed panicked when I asked if everything was alright. I'll go check on them.'

'Are you sure? Nene told you that she got this, right?'

'Yes. But maybe they need help? In any case, they have been there for quite some time. I'll just go check that everything is alright. I don't want to take any risks considering Rui's state.'

'Alright! I trust you Tsukasa!'

Tsukasa grabbed the doorknob, opening the heavy door.

The world brutally turned dark and cold, contrasting with his warm body.

He couldn't breathe.

He was petrified, staring with horror at what was in front of him.

In the middle of the room, was a large puddle of blood, as well as peonies and tulips, and their petals scattered all around the floor. He could see multiple stains and drops of blood across the floor that still didn't dry yet.

His heartbeat sped up at extreme speed, while his head brutally felt fuzzy and nauseous. He couldn't properly breathe, as he could feel his stomach twist, threatening to make him puke. His whole body wasn't properly listening to him anymore. He was shaking, as if his body was freezing to death. He couldn't move his eyes away, he was petrified.

"… asa? …Tsu... sa?"

Rui... he had to protect him!

He was dying.

But... where was he? Why wasn't he here? Where did Nene and him go?! What happened?

He...

"… Me...? Hear... Tsu....?"

Rui had Hanahaki Disease...?

But since when... how... why...?

Did it mean that... he was terminally ill?

Rui... couldn't love him...?

He... was going to die...?

Rui... was going to die?

Could he... save Rui...? Why didn't Rui say anything?

He suddenly felt something cold holding his hand.

"Tsukasa? Can you hear me?"

The blonde's stare was still lost, fixing the blood all over the ground. His voice was broken. Why wasn't he screaming?

He didn't need to make anyone worry.

Emu shouldn't see this.

He had to be strong enough.

His own lungs were just screaming in agony anyway.

His own voice had become to weak after numerous screams and cries in pain, unheard from the world.

"Tsukasa, I'm right here. Everything's fine."

The blonde didn't answer. He was still stuck, while he was hyperventilating. He felt the hand holding his own carefully dragging him down to sit on the floor, while another hand was taking his shoulder to make him turn around. He wasn't supposed to be able to see the room anymore, his back was facing it, not his face now.

But

He could still see it.

All the blood and petals, they were still here.

The hand holding his own was carefully rubbing it with the thumb, as a calm and reassuring voice, yet familiar, reached his ears.

"It's me, Rui, I'm right here. Take deep and long breaths. Try to follow me. One... two..."

Tsukasa tried to follow what the voice was saying, with a lot of difficulty.

But it said that it was Rui... right? So... he was fine...?

Rui...

"Tsukasa, can I touch you?"

After multiple deep breaths and a fraction of lucidity, he slowly nodded. He felt a cold hand against his cheek, carefully rubbing his cheek.

No... it was wiping his heavy tears...?

"There... deep breaths just like this. Tell me what colours you see around us, and what objects too. Don't rush, catch your breath first of all, alright?"

Tsukasa tried to raise his eyes, to look at his surroundings, but...

It was the space before backstage.

When... he...

He felt his heartbeat sped up again, as he firmly closed his eyes. His voice was finally back, but only to let out screams and whimpers. The hand holding his own tightened, as he faintly heard the voice speak up again.

"Maybe we should move somewhere else. I'm going to help you stand up, alright? We'll go slowly."

He felt the hand on his cheek going down on his shoulder, helping him standing up. Tsukasa couldn't totally comprehend what was happening. As soon as he was standing, he brutally grabbed what was in front of him in panic. He heard a gasp, whereas he couldn't stop crying.

"I... I don't want to die! I... Rui I need to... I have to save him.. I..."

"Tsukasa, everything is alright now. I'm right here." Repeated calmly the voice, rubbing his back. "Let's go on the stage, alright? I'll lead."

Tsukasa couldn't comprehend what was going on, holding tightly the thing in front of him. He was terrified. Before he knew it, the hands gently left his back to grab his shoulders again, forcing him to sit down.

"Tsukasa...? What's going on?"

"Don't worry I'm looking after him. Don't crowd him at the moment."

The blonde had no idea what they were talking about, his mind was still stuck backstage. But compared to before, the air felt warmer.

It wasn't the freezing weather of winter.

The cold hands were back on his hand, and the other on his cheek.

"There, let's restart, alright? Deep breaths. Follow me, one... two... one..."

The blonde tried to follow the pace, finding it easier than before. The hand on his cheek was gently rubbing it, certainly for the same reason as before, which was wiping his tears.

"Perfect. Tell me the colours and shapes that you see around you, alright? Take your time."

Tsukasa took a bit of time before answering, recollecting his fuzzy thoughts. His eyes finally began to move, looking around him.

"There's... green..."

"Yes. Can you tell me what they are?"

"Hm... triangles...? W-wait... no trees...?"

"Yes, perfect. Continue, describe what is around us."

A few minutes passed, as Tsukasa was describing with more details their surroundings. He felt his thoughts starting to organise, coming back into reality. After a little while, he finally let out a long sigh. He raised his stare, noticing Rui sitting right in front of him. They weren't backstage anymore, they were on top of the Wonder Stage. Nene and Emu were also here, standing a few metres away. They were staring at him with concern and in silence.

"How are you feeling?" Suddenly asked the director, with his calm voice.

"I... I don't know..." Answered the blonde, staring at his own trembling hands. "I... I'm confused."

"It's alright don't worry. Do you know where we are and when?"

"We are at the Wonder Stage. We're in summer, after a day of school... we were about to practice, I think?"

"Yes, it's all good." Sighed in relief Rui, still gently caressing his cheek. "Do you know what just happened?"

"I..." Tsukasa was still confused and lost, feeling an awful headache silenting him.

Rui thought for a second, then softly smiled at the blonde, certainly trying to seem comforting.

"Let's have a little walk, alright? I know a peaceful spot where you could relax."

Tsukasa didn't really know how to answer. His thoughts were still swirling around, making him feel lost. The director was about to stand up, but got brutally stopped by the blonde's hands. The star held tightly his cardigan, yelling in panic.

"No! Don't leave me...! I'm sorry! Please I-"

Rui's eyebrows raised in shock, as he immediately sat back down. He gently grabbed the star's hands, who was still begging in panic.

"Tsukasa it's alright. I wasn't going to leave, I promise." Reassured the director, slowly moving his hands to cup the weeping face of the star. "I'm right here."

Tsukasa's stare was lost, and felt liveless. He took a bit of time to comprehend the director's words, and slowly began to calm down with little nods. Rui waited a bit to make sure that the blonde had calm down, before getting up with him. As soon as they were standing, they began to walk off the stage. Rui was carefully holding the blonde's hand, while his other hand was rubbing his back. Before leaving, he turned his head around to look at the girls, and weakly smiled at them.

"We'll be right back, you can start ahead of us."

"Roger!" Replied the pink-haired girl with a trembling smile, trying her best to not let her nervousness show.

The two boys left the stage, and began to walk. They entered the forest right behind the stage, and walked deeper into it.

"Don't worry, it's a really quiet place with no bugs." Reassured the director, gently rubbing the blonde's back as they were walking. "I used to go there to clear some thoughts before joining the troupe. I'm sure that you'll love it."

After a little while, they finally arrived. It was a clearing, a beautiful sight as if it came out of a fairy tale. The sunlights were highlighting the place, while a few birds singing could be heard from afar. Rui stared at the grass with a weak smile.

"Sorry, I didn't bring anything for you to sit on. Is it alright with you to sit on the grass? You can sit on my lap if you prefer."

"I'd rather sit on your lap." Answered the blonde with a bittersweet grin.

Without saying anything more, Rui sat on the grass. Tsukasa followed quickly, sitting on the director's thighs. He was facing the alchemist, leaving a small space between their chest. They were closed, but far enough to properly see each other's faces. The director was softly holding the blonde's hands, rubbing his knuckles with his thumbs. They waited a bit in silence, until the alchemist broke it with a quiet voice.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, I suppose."

"I'm glad to hear that." Softly smiled Rui. "Can I still touch your face?"

Tsukasa nodded, letting the director gently cup his face once again. The blonde leaned to the touch, feeling his heartbeat slowing down.

"Do you know what happened?" Suddenly asked the alchemist.

The blonde avoided his stare, trying to recollect his thoughts. He felt a shiver down his spine, while his hands began to shake again. His breathing was also starting to speed up, as his vision was slowly turning fuzzy. The hand holding his own left, to cup the other side of his face instead.

"Tsukasa, look at me. I'm right here."

The star's eyes quickly looked back at the director. His facial expression was focused, and yet felt warm. Rui softly smiled, trying his best to sound as comforting as possible.

"It's alright, you can tell me later when you feel better, alright? Maybe we should cancel practice if it can help you."

"No it's alright!" Brutally shouted out Tsukasa, startling the other boy beneath him. "I... I can do it."

"If you are sure, then it's good with me. But take it easy, alright?" Replied the alchemist with a soft smile. "For now, let's just focus on what triggered... whatever happened just now to avoid it from happening again, is it fine with you?"

The star avoided his stare again, slowly nodding.

"Tsukasa, please I want you to keep looking at me. Can you do that?"

The blonde jolted, not realising himself that his stare was wandering around. He focused his attention back to his boyfriend, who gently smiled.

"Good. Keep on taking long and deep breaths, alright?"

The blonde nodded again, opening his mouth wider to try taking deeper breaths. Rui was patient, waiting for the star to calm down again before saying anything else. His cold palms helped the blonde to keep his grip on reality, and to calm himself down. Suddenly, Tsukasa slowly let his chest fall against Rui's, resting his head into the crook of his neck. The director simply reacted to the sudden embrace by wrapping his arms around the blonde waist, slowly rubbing his back with one hand while the other was playing with his golden locks. Tsukasa could feel Rui's breathing by the slow rises of his chest against his own, helping him to follow his pace.

After a bit of time, the blonde found his body relaxing, melting into the soft touches of the director. He finally let a few words out through his quiet voice. It could have been unhearable, but the silent place helped his voice to reach Rui's ears.

"I... felt weird."

"Weird?" Repeated the alchemist, already gathering every information that the blonde was about to tell.

"I... don't know how to explain. It felt cold, but warm too... I sensed some kind of malaise, and... when I opened the door... I..."

Tsukasa felt his eyes watering again against his will, as his hands were tightly holding Rui's cardigan.

"I... felt so scared..."

Rui gently patted his head, trying to reassure him. Tsukasa took a few deep breaths, feeling his own hands shaking.

"It's alright, everything's fine. You're safe."

The blonde tried to nod, but was simply melting into the embrace, focusing on his own breathing. Rui gently kissed the top of his head, readjusting their position to put the side of Tsukasa's body against his chest, while his head was resting on his shoulder.

"Take some time to calm down, alright? I want to make sure of something too. When did you begin feeling 'weird'? Was it only backstage, or also on the Wonder Stage?"

"It... was backstage. When we were walking down the stairs, but... w-when I... opened the door..."

"It's alright, you don't need to say it if you don't want to, I think I got it." Reassured the director calmly. "When you'll feel better, we'll go back to get our clothes and change elsewhere. We'll avoid going backstage from now on, is it fine with you?"

Tsukasa nodded, feeling too exhausted to let any word out. He noticed one of Rui's hands leaving his body, to reach inside his pocket instead.

"I'll quickly call Nene to warn her about our whereabouts."

He was about to compose the number, but stopped and looked at his star.

"Do you want me to tell them about what happened, or do you prefer to either tell them yourself, or to keep it a secret for now?"

Tsukasa hummed in reply, thinking of his answer. He sighed, snuggling into Rui's shoulder.

"Emu and Nene were here when it happened, right? Maybe keeping them in the dark wouldn't be good for them. We... don't even know what really happened anyway. So you can tell them."

"Alright. You can rely on us, don't forget that." Reassured the director, leaving a peck on his forehead.

The director finally called the diva, reassuring her about their whereabouts and keeping her updated on what happened. Tsukasa was simply waiting, starting to feel ashamed of what happened.

What took over him... ?

His grip on Rui's cardigan tightened, as he remembered what he saw.

Why... were there Rui's flowers across the floor... ?

Chapter Text

A few minutes passed, maybe half an hour. Tsukasa didn't know for sure, but at some point Rui and himself had joined the girls at the Wonder Stage. He was feeling better, allowing himself to finally change to his costume and begin practice. The girls were more than worried, asking right away if he was alright. As usual, he simply answered that everything was fine, under the director's heavy stare. Despite being the first rehearsal for Rui, where he could actually perform with the rest of the troupe, the star noticed how he kept on looking after him, making sure that the blonde was alright. It was a tender attention, but Tsukasa was alright. The alchemist had to look after himself, instead of his star.

He was alright.

After a few hours, they finally called it a day. Fortunately, everything went smoothly, just as how rehearsals used to look like before the Hanahaki Disease situation. Of course, Rui was less energetic than the others, being careful to not overwork himself. As he promised, nothing happened. The rest of the troupe sighed in relief. However, deep down, Tsukasa was still feeling nervous about all of this.

As soon as they changed back to their uniform, they finally walked back home. As usual, the boys were walking home together, holding hands. However, the atmosphere felt heavier and colder than normally. The blonde already knew the reason behind it. He simply kept on staring at the ground, avoiding the other's stare. After some time, Rui finally broke the silence with hesitation.

"Tsukasa, about what happened earlier-"

"Oh you mean when I did that really impressive and incredible acting? I know, that was marvellous right?" Immediately retorted Tsukasa, stroking one of his iconic poses.

Of course, he knew that Rui wasn't talking about that. He was desperate, he knew that too, but he just wanted to avoid the subject. Of course, the director wouldn't be the kind to let something like this slide. The alchemist sighed, trying again with a concerned stare.

"Tsukasa, I am not talking about that and you know it. Can we talk about what happened?"

"I don't see why you want to talk about something as irrelevant as this! It's nothing really, let's just go home and-"

Brutally, Rui stopped walking, holding back the blonde with his hand. Tsukasa stopped as well, but kept his back facing the purple-haired boy. He heard the director sigh yet again, talking with a calm tone:

"We can't just ignore what happened."

"I don't see where the issue is! It's certainly because of my recent lack of sleep, right? See? No reason to think or worry about that, let's just-"

"Tsukasa." Firmly retorted the purple-haired boy as he raised his voice. "We both know that it's something that we can't ignore. Last time, we kept on ignoring the signs and it led to what you know. I won't make that mistake again. So please, can we talk about this? I'm really worried about you."

The blonde's eyes widened at his words, feeling his breathing stop. He sighed, feeling the grip on his hand tightening. At the same time, his heart was beginning to beat slightly faster from nervousness.

He just wanted to forget about what happened, or what he saw.

It... was nothing. He imagined it.

He heard a few footsteps from behind, getting closer to him. He hesitantly turned around, facing his boyfriend who was staring at him with concern. He felt his thumb gently rubbing his knuckles, certainly because the director noticed his sudden nervousness.

"Do you want to come to my place to talk about it?"

The blonde knew that he wouldn't be able to flee anymore. He sighed, nodding to the director. At his positive answer, they began to walk towards the Kamishiro's household in silence. Rui didn't leave his hand, as their steps were a bit slower than before. He must have noticed Tsukasa's trouble face, since he murmured with an apologetic tone:

"I'm sorry to be this insistent with you. But I really think that this may be more serious than you think."

"I... don't really know to be honest. You shouldn't trouble yourself with a matter as pointless as this. I'm a world's future star after all! I can handle anything-"

Rui stopped walking once again, staring at the other with a piercing stare. Tsukasa felt a cold shiver down his spine. The director suddenly cupped his face, staring into his golden eyes.

"Please, stop saying this. Of course you are the world's future star and the brightest of them all. However, you are still a human, and my boyfriend. I'm worried about you, and want to make sure that you're alright. It isn't a pointless matter, even less when it concerns you. I love you, and care about you. I want your well-being, and I clearly see that it isn't the case at the moment."

Tsukasa stared at him with widened eyes and his mouth agape. He slowly looked down, avoiding Rui's stare. The director gently hugged him, softly kissing his forehead.

"I think that what happened is certainly linked to your nightmares as well, which is why I want to understand better what happened to be able to help you. I'm sorry for being too insistent, or if I'm making this even more stressful and nervous for you. It isn't my intention at all, and I don't want to overstep any boundaries. I... may have been a bit too cold towards you and may have overreacted, and I deeply apologise if that is the case. If you are not comfortable enough, or ready to talk about it with me, I'll understand. However, I don't want you to hold back because you don't want to worry me, or to hurt me, or any other thoughts regarding me. What I want is for you to open up to me, so that we can figure out what is going on, and find a way to help you with it. I promise you that we'll go slowly on this and that I'll let you rest after that talk. You can ask me any favor after this, alright?"

Tsukasa weakly giggled at the last sentence against Rui's shoulder, making the taller boy jolting in surprise.

"I understand you know, I'm not a dog who needs treats."

The director chuckled as well, lovely looking at the blonde in his arms.

"I know, but I love spoiling the love of my life~"

The blonde instantly screamed as his cheeks burned, trying to push the director away. However, the alchemist's arms were strangely stronger, keeping the star close as he attacked his face with pecks.

"STOP STOP STOP!!" Pleaded Tsukasa with his loud voice, his face combusting in embarrassment.

"My shining little star~ So cute~"

Tsukasa groaned, finally giving up as he let his body melt in Rui's arms. They were having a serious conversation, and now the director was making the blonde feel flustered yet again. After a few seconds which felt like eternity for the blonde, the alchemist finally let go, taking back Tsukasa's hand. He quickly let a peck on the blonde's forehead, and began to walk again.

This time, the walk felt less tense than a few minutes ago. Tsukasa could feel that he was able to properly breathe again. But even if he appreciated Rui's concern and attention, he wasn't really sure about this. It wasn't a problem of trust, and he understood why the director was this insistent for him to talk about what happened. He just didn't know himself what was going on, or he wanted to avoid it, to ignore it, and pretend that nothing happened.

Because nothing did.

Right...?

Rui shouldn't be worried about him, he was a star, he was more than able to take care of himself. He could handle any challenge, he wasn't weak. Rui was the one who needed support and attention, not... himself.

They arrived tp the director's home before he could know it. Tsukasa could feel a bit of his nervousness coming back as Rui opened the front door. As soon as they entered the house, they were greeted by a sweet voice from the living room.

"Welcome back Rui- oh! If it isn't Tsukasa!"

The blonde jolted in surprise as he saw Rui's mom walking up to him with a soft smile. He instantly began to panic, quickly adjusting his sleeves to make himself more presentable – even if it didn't really change anything.

"H-hi! It's a pleasure to see you, Mrs Kamishiro! Sorry for the intrusion!"

She giggled, softly patting his head with a smile.

"No need to be this formal. I already said it to you, didn't I? You are always welcome here, sweetie."

…

Sw-

Sweetie?

Tsukasa felt his heart dying and his brain stopped functioning. So this is where Rui's teasing and numerous pet names came from... If he ever calls him like this, Tsukasa knew that it would be the end of him and his weak heart.

He suddenly felt the director's hand on his back, rubbing it gently. Tsukasa jolted at the touch, waking up from his thoughts.

"Anyway, let's go to my workshop." Suggested the alchemist, slightly pushing Tsukasa to make him walk towards the garage.

"Oh sorry, you must want some time with your boyfriend." Chuckled his mother, making Rui groan in embarrassment. "I'll make some drinks for you two and bring them there. After all, you must be exhausted after a long day of practice! What would you like to drink, Tsukasa?"

Tsukasa panicked again. He quickly shook his head, recollecting his thoughts as he shouted out:

"H-hot c-chocolate will suffice please!"

He heard a sweet giggle behind them, as Rui pushed him further into the garage.

"Alright, I will bring that to you. Have fun back there!"

Rui slammed the door shut.

Tsukasa heard him letting a long sigh out, as he turned around with an awkward smile and a blushing face.

"Sorry, my mom can be... a bit too much sometimes. But she doesn't have bad intentions."

"A-ah ha ha! It's alright, nothing that a star can not handle!" Proudly replied Tsukasa with a sweat on his cheek.

Rui softly giggled, as he sat on the couch. He patted the spot next to him to invite Tsukasa, who obliged. Once the blonde was sitting down next to the director, he looked around the room and noticed the pegasus on his desk. He giggled, crossing his arms proudly.

"I see that you were already working on the marvellous pegasus!"

"Of course. I still haven't finished yet though, but I'll do my best to give it back to you as soon as possible."

"You don't need to rush, I already told you." Retorted the star with a frown.

Rui chuckled, but then quietly sighed. The room turned silent, as both of them were simply staring at the ground. The director turned his stare to the blonde, and asked once again with a bit of hesitation:

" So, about what happened earlier-"

"Maybe you could work on the pegasus right now? I could assist you! What do you think?" Suddenly suggested the star with a bright smile.

Rui sighed, looking at the star with a small frown.

"Tsukasa, stop trying to avoid the subject."

"I am not." Replied the blonde as he crossed his arms. "Really, there is no need to talk about such futile things! Your work is way more important and interesting-"

"Tsukasa, please. You agreed to come here to talk about it-"

"It's not important!"

"Tsukasa!" Brutally shouted out Rui, grabbing the blonde's shoulders. "Stop repeating that, it is important!"

"How could you know?" Suddenly retorted Tsukasa, avoiding the director's stare. "I told you, I can handle it, it's nothing. You don't need to worry about someone like me. I'm a star! A star can handle anything. I'm just tired, isn't it what you said? It's just stupid-"

"Stop." Coldly retorted the alchemist, staring deeply into Tsukasa's eyes.

The blonde jumped in surprise, finally staring back at the other. Rui's eyes were cold, but also sad. The purple-haired boy sighed, as he gently caressed the other's left cheek.

"… Tsukasa. Last time that one of us said such things, you got hurt."

The blonde looked at Rui with confusion, while the director was looking at his cheek with melancholy. Slowly, the alchemist kissed the skin, as he continued to softly caress it.

"It was when you wanted to take a break from shows. At that time I was... completely terrified. I had lost any hope of being saved. I was persuaded that you couldn't love me, and I didn't want you to be forced to love me. So... I was only focused on shows. I was telling myself that as long as I could do shows, I could survive. That is when you wanted to take a break."

Tsukasa's eyes widened, listening to each of Rui's words. The alchemist's stare was full of melancholy, not leaving his soft cheek.

"I was desperate to perform. I knew, or at least was persuaded that I was going to die soon, and I wanted to perform again before my last breath. I was so desperate and lost into my own world, that I didn't realise how much I was hurting you, Nene and Emu in the process. And... I ended up physically hurting you. I literally slapped you. Even if it has been months I... still feel awful about it. I can't apologise enough for what I have done."

"But it's alright-"

"It's not." Cut Rui with a frown. "What I'm trying to say is that I don't want this to ever happen again. I don't want to fight with you again, and to hurt you by accident. Of course, we'll have fights, this is how a relationship works. But right now, it's exactly the same pattern as last time. I don't want us repeating the same mistakes again. So please, talk to me. It's alright if you are scared, or if you can't say everything now. I just want you to open-up to me so that we can understand what is going on and help you. I don't want you to hold back because you think that it isn't important. You are important and dear to me, because I love you. As I said back at the hospital a few months ago, I want to be a boyfriend that you can lean on. So... don't say such things about yourself, please."

Tsukasa stared at him with widened eyes. His breath got cut, as he slowly lowered down his head. Rui's grip eased, removing his hands from his shoulders to gently hold the blonde's hand instead. The star sighed, looking away.

"… I'm sorry."

The director softly rubbed his knuckles with a thumb, giving a weak smile to the other.

"You did nothing wrong." Reassured the alchemist with a comforting tone. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"But..." Tsukasa frowned at the question, looking back at the alchemist. "You keep on repeating that, but you should know... right?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you were there with me. You... didn't see?"

"I'm afraid that I don't see where you are getting at." Weakly smiled Rui, his eyes full of concern. "I'm worried because you suddenly went into a panic attack. Well... I'm not even sure if it could be called that. This is why I want to understand what happened."

"W-what...? B-but... backstage there was..."

Tsukasa's blood turned cold.

Rui... Didn't see the flowers...?

The blonde suddenly felt a cold hand against his cheek again, moving his stare back at his lover. Rui's eyes were serious, looking at Tsukasa as if he was staring into his soul.

"What was backstage? Can you tell me?"

Tsukasa's hands began to shake, confused and perplexed. What was going on? What was happening to him? He didn't have the time to answer, the alchemist quietly sighed.

"Take deep breaths. Everything is fine." He waited a few seconds for Tsukasa to properly breathe, then continued. "Stop me if it's getting a bit too overwhelming, but I have a few questions. I want to... make some of my thoughts clear. Is it alright with you?"

The blonde waited a bit before answering, reconsidering the question. He didn't really know where this was going anyway, and simply nodded.

"Good." Smiled the alchemist, leaning back on the couch, not leaving his stare away from the blonde. "There was something that I wanted to ask you for a while, but never got the opportunity to. But... with what happened earlier, it made me think about it again, and I'm sure that both are linked."

Tsukasa raised his eyebrows in surprise, but felt his guts twist in apprehension.

"When you confessed to me, you already knew that I had Hanahaki Disease, right? After all, you wouldn't have made such a plan in the first place, and you confirmed to me back there as well anyway. However, I never knew how you learned about it. Kaito, Nene and Mizuki certainly didn't say anything to you. So I wonder, how did you find out?"

The blonde's heartbeat began to accelerate. His skin was becoming sweaty, as his breathing was getting laborious. He released Rui's hands to hold his shirt, trying to awkwardly laugh while his head was beginning to spin.

"W-well I don't really see what the point is! After all... it's just past now, right? Totally behind us! A star... always has their secrets, right? Besides, I don't see the correlation... Ha- ha ha..."

Rui's stare wasn't leaving the blonde's. It wasn't cold, but focused. The alchemist took another breath, and continued.

"Tsukasa, earlier you called out my name."

"… What?"

"When you were having your panic attack, or whatever that was. You said something along those lines: 'I don't want to die, I have to save Rui.' The last time you said something similar, was when you were badly sick. You were sick, because you had caught Hanahaki Disease and it triggered your condition, right?"

Tsukasa's eyebrows raised in shock. How did Rui recall every little detail? How could he know more about the blonde than himself?

"You were talking about your own Hanahaki Disease, right? And then you talked about me. Why would you care about 'saving me' if you are the one sick? So... both are linked, right?"

The blonde's hands were shaking, as well as his voice as he was trying to answer.

"I... don't really know myself... I suppose...?"

"Am I going too far?"

"… A-ah?"

"The talk, do you wish to continue or to stop here?" Gently asked Rui, carefully holding one of Tsukasa's hands.

The blonde couldn't think properly. His mind was foggy, full of steam as his heartbeat was too fast in his fragile ribcage. He let out his unusual quiet and trembling voice :

"I... I'm sorry, I don't know..."

"Alright, let's stop here for now." Calmly suggested Rui.

A little silence took place. The only sound was Tsukasa's laborious breathing. The director was murmuring numbers, helping the blonde to breathe in a comfortable pace. After a few minutes, the star reached to the director, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Rui carefully rubbed his back with his arm, looking after the blonde who was still catching up his breath. Tsukasa felt Rui's other hand on his head, gently playing with his hair. Then, the alchemist gently kissed the top of his head, while the star was beginning to relax against him.

"How are you feeling?" Asked Rui with a quiet voice.

"Hm... I don't really know, better I suppose... ? It feels a bit weird."

"It's alright." Smiled the purple-haired boy, holding slightly tighter the blonde. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. But don't hesitate if you need anything, alright?"

Tsukasa raised his head, leaving a peck on Rui's neck with a small grin.

"Thank you, 'dear'."

As soon as this pet name escaped his lips, Rui's cheeks burnt. He stared at the blonde with widened eyes, and quickly hid his flustered red face in the crook of Tsukasa's neck. The blonde instantly burst out of laughter, hugging back his embarrassed boyfriend. He let his fingers run into the purple hair with a warm smile on his face.

Rui was really pretty.

He never felt this lucky before, to have such an amazing person in his arms. He softly sighed, looking down at the other.

"Thank you."

Rui raised his head in surprise. Tsukasa instantly giggled at his shocked expression, as he cupped his face.

"Thank you for looking after me."

The director seemed even more surprised and confused. He simply smiled in response, leaning over for a kiss. The kiss was slow and tender, a pure demonstration of their feelings. Tsukasa didn't have the time to deepen the kiss, Rui broke it and stared at him with his usual smile.

"No need to thank me for something like this. This is the least I can do for my precious boyfriend after all."

Both of them giggled with blushing cheeks, softly cuddling with each other. Tsukasa could feel his uneasiness fading away, replaced by a sense of peace instead. Being with Rui always helped his thoughts to calm down, allowing himself to finally catch his breath. They stayed like this for a while, Rui leaning against Tsukasa's chest and leaving soft and tender kisses along his neck and collarbone. The blonde giggled at a few ticklishes sensations, making the director chuckle with pride. After a little while, the purple-haired boy's voice resonated into the quiet room.

"It's getting pretty late already, oooh what a shame! Seems like someone has to stay for the night~"

Tsukasa gasped in surprise, immediately looking at the window on the door. The sky was already darkening.

"AH ! I didn't realise-!"

"Shh it's alright." Gently comforted Rui, snuggling against Tsukasa's chest and leaving a few sloppy kisses on his collarbone. "You can stay here for the night. I said it already."

Tsukasa felt his cheeks burn at this thought. He played with Rui's hair falling against his nape, trying to distract his spinning thoughts.

"But... I don't have my clothes-"

"Is it really a problem?" Smirked the director, resting his chin against Tsukasa's chest to look up at him. "You know that you can borrow mines~ You already did that before anyway."

"Rui!" Brutally shouted out Tsukasa, his face turning redder than a tomato.

"Hm~? What is it? Oh no... do you hate wearing my clothes and sharing a bed with me that much ? My heart is shattered... how could you..." Dramatically cried the director, wiping crocodile tears in the corner of his eyes.

"I-it's not! Argh!" Frowned the blonde, melting into the couch. "F-fine..."

To Tsukasa's surprise, Rui didn't laugh in victory. Instead, he slowly raised himself up on the couch, to sit once again next to him. He softly cupped his face, forcing the blonde to look at him. His stare was focused, and yet gentle. The star could feel the coldness of his palms, helping his burning cheeks to cool down.

"Jokes aside, are you really fine to spend the night here with me? You seemed reluctant to do so for a few days. If you don't want to, I can always walk you home."

Tsukasa raised his eyebrows in surprise. He softly shook his head, putting his hand above Rui's.

"No it's alright, I want to. I... don't want to be alone right now..."

The director softly smiled, kissing the blonde's cheek.

"Alright, you can take a shower then if you want. I'll bring a change of clothes for you."

Tsukasa nodded in reply, as Rui finally stood up from the couch and left the room. As soon as the blonde was alone, he let his body fall on the couch with a long sigh. The odd feeling inside his chest was coming back, as well as that knot inside his stomach. Each time he closed his eyes, he could see that pool of bloody flowers again.

But why... was he seeing this now ? If Rui didn't see anything...

Was it all in his head... ?

The star brutally slapped his cheeks, trying to readjust his thoughts. He was tired, that was all. Nothing else. No need to worry about anything else.

Rui was fine. He was safe.

…

Why was he wondering that now...?

He was simply tired, nothing else... nothing... else...

**

Rui closed the door, and let a long sigh out that he didn't know he was holding in for a long time. He never saw Tsukasa in such distress before, and he had no idea how to react. He did everything by instinct, remembering how Kaito and Nene helped him during his own panic attack a few months ago.

But... it didn't seem to be something like that.

It was some kind of panic attack, but something else was there too. He quickly shook his head, and walked upstairs. He had to get a few clothes for Tsukasa. As soon as he joined the living room in order to go to the staircase, he heard a sweet voice calling after him. He turned around, and saw his mother looking at him with worry. As soon as their eyes met, Rui knew that she heard their conversation. He let a small sigh escape his lips through his smile.

"You heard I presume?"

"Sorry, I was about to bring your drinks but I didn't want to interfere." Explained the lady with a soft tone, making sure to not let her voice be heard into the house. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything's fine." Quickly answered Rui, walking up the stairs.

He entered his bedroom, getting the clothes out of the closet. He took a simple shirt, suiting his unique fashion taste, and a pair of black boxers. As soon as he carefully dropped off the clothes in the bathroom, he returned to his bedroom and began preparing the bed. As he thought, his mother came into the room as well, looking at him silently with worry. She walked up to him, taking one of the sheets to help him prepare the bed. Rui didn't decline the silent offer, and simply continued to prepare the blankets. At some point, his mom finally spoke with a quiet voice:

"Rui, do you want to talk about it? I see that it is troubling you..."

The director sighed. His mom had always been absolutely sweet and supportive with him. But since the unfortunate events, he noticed how his parents became more protective than before. It wasn't a surprise at all. After all, both of them felt terribly guilty for not having been there for him when he was at death's door. They were really taken by their jobs, and always knew how Rui was an independent son. They didn't notice anything at all, and as a result, didn't expect something like this could happen. Since then, the director also made a promise to himself, to at least open up more to his parents. After all, they were always there for him, and had all rights to know what was going on. He simply sighed, looking down at the sheets that he was holding.

"It's Tsukasa. I'm worried for him..."

"What happened?"

"He has insomnia these days. Well, it shouldn't really be that concerning I suppose, but he also has frequent nightmares. And... I feel like he's avoiding me too. He doesn't want to stay for the night, but accepted today because he went into some kind of panic attack earlier. I... know that I shouldn't think that, a friend of mine told me that it was certainly not linked to me but..."

"Do you think that it is because you want to perform on stage again? And that makes him anxious?" Asked his mother with a soft tone.

Rui nodded, avoiding the stare of his mother.

"I want to perform with them again. I... want to make Tsukasa smile, and... to make him proud too. But it seems like it's doing the opposite. Is it selfish...? Should I not perform?"

Suddenly, he felt his mother's hand against his cheek, rubbing it softly. She was looking at him with lovely eyes and a tender smile.

"It isn't selfish at all. You have all the rights to want to perform with them again. After all, it brought you immense joy. But you also have to accept the fact that your friends can be worried about you. Your father and I are also really worried about you. We all want the best for you, but we can't help but get nervous. Give him some time.

"I... I know. But... It seems to be more than just being nervous. I think that he hallucinated."

Rui's mother let a surprise noise escape her lips. She instantly frowned, staring with seriousness at her son. She carefully removed her hand, and asked with concern:

"What do you mean? What happened?"

Rui felt a shiver down his spine. His mother was always playful around him. She rarely wore that worried, concerned and alert expression. The few times he saw it was back at middle school, when he was hospitalised for the Hanahaki Disease, and now. He certainly said too much at that moment, but it was too late. Considering her heavy stare, he couldn't run away anymore. He gulped, apologising to Tsukasa silently.

"We... We went backstage earlier. And Tsukasa had a panic attack, or something similar. But... he seemed stuck, staring into nothing... and he was confused that I didn't see anything? So... my personal guess is that he hallucinated." Tried to explained the director, bringing his hand to his chin. "I tried to help him talk about it, to tell me what he saw, but... Maybe I was a bit too insistent? I don't really know- but he didn't really say anything. I think that it has to be linked with Hanahaki Disease. I have my guesses on what he saw, but nothing certain for now. I don't really know what to think about it, but... I'm worried."

His mother hummed in reply, bringing her hand to her chin. Her serious expression slowly softened, smiling tenderly at her son. It was certainly an attempt to calm him down, but Rui could see in her eyes how she was as concerned as him.

"You said that he has nightmares and insomnia, right? Maybe he is just really tired. We can't really be sure for now. But if something similar happens again, maybe he should see a professional. After all, both of you went... into something really hard to cope with."

Rui nodded with a weak smile. He was about to turn around to take a few cushions, but his mother put her hand on his shoulder, catching his attention.

"What about you? How are you?"

The director raised his eyebrows in surprise, shrugging with his cat smile.

"I'm doing fine as usual."

His mother sadly smiled. Suddenly, she pulled the boy into a soft embrace. Rui jolted in surprise, but quickly calmed down as he felt his mother's comforting touches on his head.

"I know what you are thinking about. It's not because Tsukasa seems to be going through something that you have to suppress your feelings. You are worried, but you were also hurt. You're not the only one that Tsukasa can lean on, and Tsukasa isn't the only one that you can lean on. You have your dad and I, and also Nene and your other friend, Emu was it? And your other friends at school as well. There are a lot of people who are here for both of you. Taking care of someone is also really draining, so don't put everything on your shoulders."

Rui's eyes widened. He knew that already, but it seemed as if hearing it coming from his mother's lips made it even clearer. He knew that he needed to communicate more, to avoid making the same mistakes than before.

He would do his best to help Tsukasa, for whatever he was going through.

His mom finally broke the embrace with a soft smile. Noticing how her son seemed to feel better. Then she left the room to prepare dinner. Rui quickly finished preparing everything up.

As he was about to finish, he heard a few footsteps at the door. He turned around, and noticed Tsukasa standing at the entrance. His hair was still a bit wet, dripping slightly over his shoulders. He was wearing Rui's shirt, which was colorful with different patterns, and obviously oversized for the poor star. He was also wearing black boxers, but they were hidden behind the bottom of his shirt. The director couldn't help but find him absolutely adorable. In fact, he couldn't control his own body. He brutally jumped on the blonde, hugging him tightly. He heard Tsukasa screaming his lungs out in surprise, making the director laugh at the reaction.

"Rui!! You're going to suffocate me!"

"I can't help it, Tsukasa is so cute~!" Claimed the director with a chuckle, hearing Tsukasa squeaking in embarrassment.

They cuddled for a little while, and finally walked downstairs to eat.

A few hours passed, and they were now back in Rui's workshop. The director was working on the pegasus, while Tsukasa was sitting next to him, his head resting against his shoulder. He was staring with curiosity and attention to his work. The alchemist wasn't really used to having someone staring with such focus during his work, as a result it made him feel a bit nervous. But at the same time, he was really glad and excited to show his boyfriend his talents in robotics.

"Despite how many times I can watch you work on those, I still don't understand how it works!" Suddenly exclaimed the blonde with his loud voice.

Rui giggled at this sentence, showing the little robot to him.

"I have been working on those for years now, it's natural for me. Nevertheless, I still have a lot to learn."

Tsukasa hesitantly took the pegasus in his hands, staring at it with sparkles in his eyes. Rui chuckled at this sight, and carefully held one of the blonde's hands, guiding it to the paw of the plush.

"Here, press it."

Tsukasa followed his guidance, and the robot suddenly lit up. It was a warm light, not too bright. The blonde loudly gasped, smiling widely at it. All of a sudden, he proudly laughed as he raised the pegasus up.

"Look at it! It is a true star now!"

Rui chuckled at this sight, wrapping the blonde's waist with his arm, pulling the star closer to him. Tsukasa instantly snuggled into his neck with a wide smile and a loud laugh. The director could feel his heart beat faster simply by looking at how brightly his lover shined. That smile, that laugh... He cherished them. He felt so releaved to see that bright smile and loud laugh back on his pretty face.  He was madly in love with him, he knew it, but who could help it ? He had a literal star in his arms, kissing softly his cheeks and jaw.

Tsukasa was kissing his jaw.

Rui felt his cheeks burn at that realisation, as he turned his eyes down to the star. Tsukasa was giggling proudly, holding the pegasus against his chest. The director softly smiled in return, carefully cupping one of the star's cheeks, leaning forward to press their lips together. Tsukasa followed quickly, deepening the kiss. One of his hands reached Rui's neck, as he closed his eyes, lost into the touch. It was slow, tender and yet passionate. The director felt butterflies inside his stomach, addicted to the feeling of Tsukasa's touches and his lips against his own. Even if each kiss was the same, it always felt wonderful and mind blowing, as if he was falling in love again.

After a little while, they finally broke the kiss, cuddling each other. How he missed spending time with the blonde in the evening, to lay together on a mattress and simply fall asleep snuggling togehter. It was their alone time, where they could show how much their feelings were genuine and deep.

But... he was still worried about the reason why Tsukasa had been so reluctant about it.

He quickly shook his thoughts off, it wasn't the time for it. He could talk about it with the blonde later. For now, the star had a long and tiring day, he only needed his comfort and his support.

After all, Rui was always going to be there for him.

**

A few days had passed.

Everything was going fine, everything was alright. Rui was doing great at rehearsal, practice was going smoothly as ever.

Everything was back to normal.

Tsukasa sighed in relief, he was just a worrywart after all. He didn't need to be this anxious about all of this, about Rui, about anything at all. A new page had turned, right ? They could finally go back to their previous life, he could go back where Rui and him were simply doing exploding experiments at school and breathtaking shows. The only difference was how their relationship changed, turning from best friends to lovers. It was an amazing change, something that made his heart beat faster from happiness.

But maybe it was that liberation that made him too careless.

He should have known better, he shouldn't have let his guard down.

He was supposed to look after Rui, to be there for him.

So why...

It all happened so fast...

"What happened?!" Brutally screamed Nene in panic, as Emu gasped in shock behind her.

Tsukasa was trembling, sitting on the wooden floor of the Wonder Stage. He was holding Rui in his arms. His back was slightly against his chest, staying still thanks to the star's shaking arms, while the rest of his body was liveless on the ground. The director's body was burning up and sweating, while he was limp into the blonde's hold.

But most of all...

Tsukasa raised his teary eyes to the girls, his voice broken and shaking with fear.

"R-Rui... he... he's not breathing..."

Chapter Text

A few hours before.

A few days had passed since the incident backstage. Rui and Tsukasa didn't go there since then, changing in another staff room instead. As a result, the blonde didn't have any new episodes of that panic attack. The alchemist was patient with him, not asking further questions about what happened, and simply waiting to let the star talk about it himself. However, Tsukasa didn't feel the need to. After all, since nothing else happened, why would he talk about it? It was certainly a result of his lack of sleep. That was a relief.

School had ended a few hours ago, allowing the group to practice for their next show. Summer was hitting hard, making the whole troupe sweating during rehearsal. After Emu's last line, the blonde clapped once again in his hands, catching everyone's attention.

"Let's take another break! Make sure to drink, everyone!"

Nene sat on the wooden floor with a long sigh, while Emu kneeled down beside her with two bottles of water in hand.

"Here Nene! I brought your drink!"

The diva thanked her friend with a small smile, not wasting any time before drinking the bottle. Tsukasa rushed to Rui's side as well. The director was leaning against the wall, wiping his sweaty forehead with his arm. As soon as he saw the star running to him, he smiled lovingly. The blonde stood next to him, holding the script in one of his hands. The star looked at the director, whose stare seemed a bit unfocused. Tsukasa gently took his hand, making the other jump in surprise.

"Are you alright? It isn't too much for you?"

Rui looked back at the star, and a small smile drew itself on his face.

"Don't worry, I'm fine. The sun is just hitting really harshly today."

Tsukasa instantly took one of the bottles nearby, and shoved it against the other's chest.

"Make sure to drink plenty of water then! We can stop rehearsal for today if it is too tiring as well."

The alchemist chuckled and kissed the top of the blonde's head. Suddenly, Tsukasa's stare travelled down to their hands. He pulled the director's up effortlessly, slightly rubbing his palm with his thumbs. The director looked back at him with his cloudy eyes, tilting his head to the side.

"Oya? Tsukasa?"

The blonde let the script fall on the ground, while the hand previously holding it raised to the inventor's head, pressing his palm against his forehead. His eyes widen in shock, retracting his hand.

"Rui, you're burning up!"

"… O-oh... Am I?"

The blonde noticed how Rui's stare seemed lost. Tsukasa felt a knot forming inside his stomach in apprehension.

"Rui, did you drink water?"

The inventor slowly nodded, his smile fading bit by bit to let the place to a small frown.

"Rui, are you sure that you are alright?

"I..." His voice seemed to become breathy, as he slowly shook his head. "I... don't think so..."

Tsukasa gasped in panic, slightly pulling Rui's hand towards himself. The inventor was having trouble breathing, pulling on his shirt as if it was compressing his ribcage.

"Let's go to a colder place-"

The blonde didn't have the time to finish his sentence, Rui fell down. Tsukasa quickly managed to catch him before he hit the ground, and yelled in panic. His own legs gave up under both of their weight, forcing the blonde to sit down. He was holding Rui's unconscious body, as his own began to tremble. He called for his name, but the other did not respond. His chest wasn't rising-

Rui wasn't breathing.

**

Emu heard a yell rising through the air, making her and Nene jump in surprise. They turned their attention to the source of the scream. Both of them instantly stood up and ran to the boys.

"What's going on?!" Brutally screamed Nene in panic, as Emu gasped in shock behind her.

Tsukasa was trembling, sitting on the wooden floor of the Wonder Stage. He was holding Rui in his arms. The director's body was burning up and immobile, melting into the blonde's hold. Tsukasa raised his teary eyes to the girls, his voice broken and shaking with fear.

"R-Rui... he... he's not breathing..."

Nene immediately kneeled down beside them, leaning her face over Rui's, as one of her hands was pressing his wrist to check his pulse. She brutally sat up and shouted out.

"He's breathing! It's really faint, but he is! We have to move him to a colder place and call an ambulance!"

Emu quickly nodded, reaching out for her phone inside her pocket. As she was calling the ambulance, she continued to stare at her friends.

Tsukasa was frozen in place.

His stare was unfocused, staring down at Rui, his eyes empty, as if he was actually staring into nothingness, while his limbs were still shaking. Emu felt her heart skip a bit at this sight. Nene brutally shook the blonde's shoulder, trying to wake him up from his trance.

"Tsukasa! Hurry up, we have to move Rui!"

The star brutally jumped as if he had just woken up from a dream, and confusedly nodded. He held Rui behind his armpits, wrapping his arms around his chest, while the diva was holding his legs. They quickly left the stage, followed by Emu.

They finally reached a building with air conditioning, entering it without asking for any permission. The staff stared at them in horror, while some of them ran to the troupe. The adults helped lay Rui down on the cold floor, while a lady ran to wet a towel in order to cool down the director's forehead. Emu noticed how his breathing was imperceptible due to how faint it was, menacing to stop at any second. She was in shock, holding her phone tightly without knowing what to do except waiting for the emergency services to arrive. Meanwhile Nene and Tsukasa were kneeling down beside the director, looking after him in panic.

Actually, Nene was.

Tsukasa on the other hand was once again frozen in place, staring with horror at the director. His eyes were wide open, and Emu thought that he still didn't blink since Rui passed out. She felt a knot in her stomach at this sight, as she recalled the moment when the director had an attack of faintness a few months ago.

This Tsukasa in front of her wasn't the same as back then. Normally, the blonde would have been the first one to carry Rui to a safer place, to check his breathing, to order everyone around him for directions. But now, he looked like an empty shell, staring at the alchemist in terror.

Their star had lost its light.

**

White walls were surrounding him.

Once again.

Tsukasa was sitting on a chair in a waiting room in the hospital, staring silently at the cold floor. Emu and Nene were with him, sitting on the other chairs in silence. He had no idea how long they had been waiting already, but it didn't matter. He didn't want to know anyway. Rui's parents had arrived at some point, in panic and nervous about the director's whereabouts. The girls had tried to explain what happened, while the blonde's throat was dry, unable to let any sound out.

He was pathetic.

He remembered feeling cold hands against his cheeks, and a soft stare in front of him, trying to reassure him through their own shaking voice. What did they say to him? He already forgot.

He was pathetic, even his atrocious memory was playing tricks on him.

He looked down at his hands, wondering if it was once again one of his nightmares, an illusion that he could escape from. Maybe if he woke up, he would be able to see Rui, gently cuddling him and reassuring him... But unfortunately, it wasn't the case. It was a cold and cruel reality.

… Why would he wish to have Rui's comfort and his words of reassurance, when he was the one between life and death?

Tsukasa was being selfish and ridiculous once again. How could he call himself a star, a reliable leader when he couldn't even protect and look after his lover?

He had been paralysed, staring hopelessly at the burning lifeless body in his arms. The girls had helped, even the staff members had helped, meanwhile he was simply useless, unable to move, almost unable to even breathe. The world around him was spinning, feeling suffocating and intoxicating. He was isolated.

After what felt like eternity, a warm hand took his own. He blinked, raising his head to the person holding his own. It was Emu, smiling warmly at him. She began to speak, with a voice unusually quiet for her.

"Tsukasa, Rui's parents are back!"

The blonde's eyes traveled to the side, as he noticed three adults walking up to them. Two of them were Rui's parents, while the third seemed to be a doctor. The mother was wiping her eyes with tissues, while her husband was rubbing her back.

Tsukasa's heart skipped a beat.

… Was Rui...?

The doctor turned to the parents, as the dad explained with a calm tone:

"They are Rui's friends."

The professional nodded, and turned his attention back to the troupe in front of him.

"I see. You can see him, he is in chamber 88."

Tsukasa's eyes widened.

They... could see him...?

He felt his hand being pulled by the pink-haired girl, as the troupe quickly walked down the corridor. The blonde's thoughts were spiraling and fuzzy, confused, and lost.

Why was Rui's mother crying...?

Did he hear the doctor well?

They finally arrived in front of the door to the room, standing awkwardly in front of it. He was so nervous that he felt as if he was going to puke. Nene finally opened the door, letting the three friends enter. Tsukasa gasped.

Rui was sitting on the bed, looking at the window. As soon as he heard them, he turned his head around, and smiled at them. Emu and Nene quickly reached the bed, while Tsukasa stood still, frozen in place.

Rui... was alive...?

Was he really here?

"How are you? What happened?!" Brutally asked Emu in panic.

"It's alright, I had a heat exhaustion." Explained the director with a weak giggle, leaning back on the pillow. "I'm feeling a bit better, I still have an awful headache though."

"Oh I see... that is a relief." Sighed Nene, taking one of Rui's hands on her own. "You are still really clammy..."

"You take a few days to recover from heat exhaustion. But it's going to be alright, I just need to rest. Sorry to have worried you..."

"It's alright Rui, we're glad that you are alright!" Cheered the pink-haired girl with her wide smile.

The director's stare quickly switched from the girls to direct itself on the blonde. Tsukasa was still standing a few steps away, looking at them with a pensive look. The inventor suddenly smiled back at the girls, and asked with a weak giggle:

"I'm sorry to ask you about this, but could you leave Tsukasa and I alone for a bit? It won't take long."

The girls jolted in surprise, and immediately turned around to look at the blonde. They seemed to have understood where the inventor was getting at, and obliged with a nod.

"Alright! We'll be right back then!"

Emu gently grabbed Nene's hand, leaving the room. As soon as the girls were out, they closed the door behind them, leaving the couple alone. Rui was staring at Tsukasa who still didn't move at all. He let a sigh out, looking down at his sheets.

"… I'm sorry."

Tsukasa woke up from his trance as soon as he heard those words despite how quiet they were, staring with confusion at the inventor. Rui grabbed his blanket with his fists, his facial expression drowning with guilt.

"I promised you to be careful. It appears that it wasn't the case."

The blonde sighed in return, finally moving his legs. He walked to the bed, taking the chair nearby to sit on it.

"I must apologise too." Retorted Tsukasa with a quiet voice. "I should have reacted better, and seen the signs. I failed you."

Rui raised his head in surprise, staring at Tsukasa with a frown.

"What are you saying? You didn't fail me at all."

"I could have prevented it..."

Brutally, Rui held one of Tsukasa's hands. His yellow eyes weren't leaving the blonde's golden ones. He was determined.

"Tsukasa it's alright. I should have been more careful and stopped as soon as the first signs were coming. I was sure that I could take it, but I overestimated my capabilities." His expression then turned into a sadden one as he grabbed his hospital gown. "The doctors told me that... my condition, and maybe my asthma, made this situation even worse, and was the reason why I might have gotten a heat exhaustion to begin with. I can't breathe as deeply and quickly as I used to, and as a result, I can endure less heat. That's all that happened."

"You can't say 'that's all that happened'. Heat exhaustion is serious, and I should have..."

"Tsukasa, please. You did nothing wrong." Tried to reassure the inventor, softly cupping the blonde's face. "I was stubborn. I... Didn't want to let any of you down. We were already taking a lot of breaks, I wanted to be able to finish rehearsal for the day. I should have listened to my body better. I promise that it won't happen again. I will be more careful next time."

The blonde jolted, his eyes widening at the realisation of what Rui had said.

Next time?

Tsukasa frowned and took Rui's wrist, moving his hand away from his face. The alchemist looked at him in surprise and confusion, while the blonde's tone raised.

"What do you mean 'next time'? You're going to continue rehearsals?"

"Of course?" Hesitantly answered the purple-haired boy, as the blonde tightened his grip on his wrist.

"Are you reckless? After what happened, you still want to perform on stage?"

"I do." Firmly answered the inventor, not leaving the other's eyes. "I know my boundaries now, and I'll be careful to not let it happen again."

"Rui that isn't how it works. It's not something that you can estimate. It's your body, it's out of your control. I am not letting you go on stage again."

"It was simply because of the heat. If the weather wasn't that bad, nothing of this sort would have happened. I can perform."

"No you can't, Rui! Even with breaks you fainted, what would have happened if we didn't take any breaks? How are you going to last for an entire show without proper breaks? How can you perform in summer if it is the issue?" Argued the blonde, raising his voice the more he talked.

"I can go backstage and rest when my scenes are done." Answered calmly the director, seemingly trying to ignore the pressure on his wrist. "I'll wear lighter clothes for the performance and build a machine similar to an air conditioner to use on stage. I can even modify my own costume to add a system to regulate my body temperature. I can work on those solutions. We can adapt the script to make all actors able to drink during the play. I can work on something similar to that bubble machine back at your confession play, but with water spray instead. There are a lot of solutions that we can work on to prevent this from happening again."

"How can you be sure that it will work? How can you be sure that all of this was only caused by the weather? Your lungs are damaged and weak, you are disabled. It won't change anything. If it isn't the weather, it's something else that will harm you, put you in danger, or even kill you. I won't let that happen. As the leader, I won't let you perform!" Violently retorted Tsukasa, holding even tighter Rui's wrist, threatening it to break.

The director's face flinched, staring in terror at the blonde. Suddenly, his other hand grabbed Tsukasa's, trying to make it release its hold on his wrist.

"I won't let that happen, I promise! You have to trust me, as your director!"

"And you have to listen to me as your boyfriend!" Brutally shouted out Tsukasa.

Rui gasped, staring with widened eyes at the blonde. The grasp on his wrist loosen as the star's hands were starting to shake. He took a shaking breath, continuing with a trembling voice.

"Rui... I don't want this to happen again... I... I almost lost you... too many times that I stopped counting. It's not you that I don't trust, but your body. Even if there aren't any flowers now, it still feels the same. I don't want to go through this again. I... don't want to lose you, even less over shows... So please... Please don't do that again... I..."

Tsukasa felt two clammy hands which used to be cold, cupping his face. He let his stare down, even if he knew that the director wanted him to look at him. He didn't want to, or he didn't have the courage to do so.

He was pathetic.

He heard the inventor sigh, beginning to talk with a murmur.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to make you worry about me. I understand how you feel, and I'm really sorry to make you go through all of this."

The blonde raised his eyes in surprise and confusion, meeting the purple-haired boy guilty ones.

"Tsukasa, do you remember where you took me for our first date?"

"At... the park with flower blossoms...?" Hesitantly answered the blonde.

"Do you remember why you chose this specific place?"

"I..." Tsukasa's eyes travelled down again, trying to recollect his fuzzy thoughts. "I wanted to associate flowers with... a new memory."

"That's right. You wanted to do that in order to help us to move forward. This is the same thing here. If I'm able to perform again, it will feel just as before. Didn't you feel the same during practice for the last few days? It felt amazing, didn't it? It's a tough step, maybe I'm being too bold, but I'm sure that it will help us move forward. I need to do it, Tsukasa. I really want and need to perform with all of you, even if it is less. So please, let me perform with all of you again. You can rewrite the script if you prefer, I don't mind. I just want to be on stage with you."

It wasn't the same.

Flower blossoms weren't harmful... It couldn't threaten his life.

Rui certainly noticed the hesitation in Tsukasa's eyes, since he let a sigh escape his lips. His hands travelled down to hold the blonde's, cupping them gently.

"I know that my request is selfish, and I deeply apologise for it. But please, let me do it. I want to make you feel happy and proud, the same way you made me feel during your confession. It was the best show I ever had, and I want to experience it again, with you. I don't want to be a burden anymore, I want to be part of the troupe the same way I used to be. I won't do any excess, if you tell me to take a break I will, if you change my character to be even less active on stage, I don't mind, if you cut me from songs, I don't mind. I just want to act on stage with you. Besides, it could have been anybody else. I know that I am more at risk than others, but Nene and Emu are as much at risk as I am, even you. I'll work on the machines I mentioned before. For me, but also for all of you. I promise that it won't ever happen again, I'll make sure of it."

Tsukasa sighed. He knew that he wouldn't be able to make the other change his mind. He had tried multiple times already, and nothing had changed. But at the same time, Rui's words felt comforting, warming up his frozen heart. He wanted to believe in his words, to trust them. But he was terrified. The blonde avoided Rui's stare, and finally answered:

"Alright, I think that I can't make you change your mind anyway. But at one condition."

"Anything that you want." Instantly retorted the director with a determined stare.

"We'll work on the current script later. I'll write a new one for our next show where you won't play."

Rui frowned. He was about to retort in confusion but got cut by the blonde.

"You still need to rest after you heat exhaustion. So even when you'll be discharged, you won't be able to exercise, even if you still can't on an usual basis. That is the reason why we'll do another play in the meantime where you still won't be acting directly on stage, but with robots as you had been doing for the past months. I promise that after this show, you'll be able to act on stage with us. I'm just asking you to wait for another show. We'll simply put our current script on standby. Is it alright with you?"

The director sighed in relief and nodded with a smile. He brought the blonde's hand to his face, and gently kissed it.

"Thank you my star. I'm sorry for all the inconveniences that I'm causing. I will do my best for you, I promise. You can ask anything for me and I will do it."

Tsukasa weakly giggled, still avoiding Rui's eyes.

"You already do it, that doesn't really count."

"Then I won't make you explode with my experiments!" Chuckled the director, seemingly trying to ease the atmosphere. "… For a month. Or maybe two weeks?"

"That doesn't sound really fair." Groaned the blonde with a false annoyance.

The inventor giggled, softly rubbing the blonde's knuckles with his thumbs. The tension in the room seemed to be fading away. However within the star...

His chest was still twisted.

Tsukasa suddenly stood up, releasing Rui's hand. The director looked at him in surprise, tilting his head to the side. The blonde smiled brightly as he took a few steps back.

"We certainly had been talking here for ages! Nene and Emu must be waiting outside for a long time, I'll tell them to come back!"

Tsukasa quickly turned around and rushed to the door. As he was about to open it, Rui called his name. The blonde stopped in his tracks at the sound of his voice, waiting for his next sentence.

"Tsukasa... are you mad at me?"

The blonde jumped in surprise. He shook his head while he was still standing in front of the door, making it unable to meet the director's stare.

"I am not, don't worry. I suppose that you won't face my wrath today, even if I said you would. Consider it as a star's mercy!"

"I see..." A hesitant murmur reached Tsukasa's ears, making his heart ache. "I'm relieved then... Thank you, my star."

Tsukasa was still facing the door, finally grabbing the doorknob.

He had to get out.

"I'll be right back."

With that, he finally left the room, closing the door behind him. By the corner of his eyes, he noticed the girls talking together not too far away. He assumed that they stayed nearby, but still far enough to let some privacy to the couple. They certainly heard the door close, since both of them turned around to look at the blonde. He brightly smiled, walking away from the door.

"You can see Rui."

"You... are not coming?" Hesitantly asked Nene, while Tsukasa wasn't stopping his steps and kept on walking.

"I'm going to get some fresh air."

He didn't turn around, he didn't look at them, he didn't listen to what their next answer could have been.

He needed to get out.

The further he walked, the faster his steps got. The ache in his chest intensified, as he began to run. He was suffocating, his insides were throbbing threatening to make him puke. His vision was blurry, he was simply running by memory.

After all, he knew that hospital like the back of his hand.

He finally left the hospital, standing at the entrance of the gigantic building. He walked along the wall for a bit of time, and then finally stopped his steps. He leaned against the facade, taking a long and suffocating breath. He was now alone.

He broke down.

His scream was tiring his throat apart, as his legs gave up under his weight for the second time that day, making him slide along the wall. He pathetically sat on the ground, hiding his face behind his hands. He felt his palms getting wet by his heavy tears that he couldn't hold back anymore. How was he that pathetic? Why was he so weak?

He was still hurting Rui. He had said awful things to him.

How could Rui still love him ?

He wasn't a star, he was miserable and unworthy. Rui was putting in so many work, trying his best to make everything better...

Tsukasa gasped at a sudden realisation, making his breathing even quicker.

Rui... the past few weeks...

He had been looking after him.

Because of your stupid nightmares, of your stupid insomnia, of your stupid panic attack.

He had been looking after him, focusing on him, and overlooking himself in the process.

Rui was careless, because he was focused on Tsukasa, and not on himself.

Rui got in danger because of you.

Once again, Tsukasa made it worse by his incompetence.

He was supposed to be a star, he didn't need people to look after him, to help him, it was his role... and... yet...

All this situation, even the very start of it, the Hanahaki Disease itself...

If you weren't that weak, nothing would have happened.

"Tsukasa?"

The blonde jumped in surprise, instantly raising his head. Emu was standing beside him with a worried expression. He gasped, quickly wiping his weeping face.

"Emu?! Wh- what are you doing here? Didn't you go see Rui?" Asked the star with a bright smile.

The pink-haired girl's face was full of concern. Her voice was calmer than usual, answering to the blonde's question.

"You didn't seem to be alright, so I wanted to check on you."

"What do you mean? I'm doing just fine! You should go back to Rui's side, he needs support at the moment!"

Emu didn't seem convinced. She kneeled down beside him, making Tsukasa jump in surprise. She had a small smile on her face, tender and comforting. Then she pointed at her own face, while the blonde was staring at her in confusion.

"What is here?" Suddenly asked the girl with her high-pitched voice.

"… Eh?"

"On my face! What is on my face?"

"A... smile?" Hesitantly answered the star, not really sure where the girl was getting at.

She happily nodded, pointing now at the blonde.

"Yes it is! And yours isn't a real one, right? I can tell. Tsukasa's smile is always so bright and shiny! Like a star. No, like the sun! But right now, it's not all sparkly sparkly shiny shiny, it's floppy floppy." Explained the girl with a pout.

Tsukasa's smile faded, and his stare travelled down back to the grass. He weakly giggled, striking one of his iconic poses with less energy than he would actually put into it.

"It's only because of that threatening hot weather! In any case, you didn't see Rui for too long, so you should get back to his side. I'll join you later!"

Emu stared at the star and sat next to him. Tsukasa jolted in surprise, looking at her in confusion. The girl's smile changed a bit, he could feel her concern through it. She was looking at the trees in front of them, as she was slightly bouncing from left to right.

"You are all wopy wopy these days. Like a sad puppy. It's normal to be scared or to feel overwhelmed about something. You can talk about it to let it out and feel better!"

Tsukasa weakly sighed, bringing his legs up to his chest. He hid his face between his arms on top of his knees.

Even now, Emu was so strong. How could she still smile like this after what happened? Why was she by his side, when Rui almost died?

"… I'm a disgrace as a star."

The pink-haired girl gasped in surprise, turning her head back to her friend.

"You and Nene were amazing back there. You handled the situation perfectly. And yet I..." Tsukasa groaned in frustration, biting his bottom lip. "I was a failure. I couldn't move or even talk. I didn't do anything, I was useless. If I were the only one there, Rui would have died."

"That's not true Tsukasa." Retorted Emu more firmly. "You were in shock, and talking with 'ifs' isn't good either! What is important is that Rui is alright. It's normal to be scared and to not know what to do. You helped Rui a lot in the past months too! You are his hero! Furthermore, you don't look fine either, I'm sure it didn't help! We're here for you Tsukasa, and for Rui too! We all got his back and yours."

The blonde held his breath for a second, and sighed. He understood what she meant, and the reason behind it. But still... that knot inside his stomach wasn't fading away. He finally raised his head from his knees, and weakly smiled at her.

"Thank you Emu. Maybe I am just a bit tired. I suppose that... the last few days had been draining."

"It's alright Tsukasa, take your time! Gently smiled Emu, waving her hands around. "Do you want to go with me to see Rui?"

Tsukasa felt his heart ache. He quickly shook his head as he stood up.

"Thank you for the suggestion, but I think that I'll head back home. I'm sorry, I promised Rui that I would come back after warning the both of you, but I think that I should rest."

"If you prefer Tsukasa. I'm sure that he'll understand! Do you want me to call one of my brothers to drive you home?" Retorted Emu, standing up as well.

"Thank you but no need. I'll send a message once I arrive if that can put your mind at ease."

"That's fine with me! Rest well Tsukasa and see you tomorrow! Get plenty of sleep!!" Wished the girl with her enthusiastic tone, making the blonde slightly smile.

Emu turned around and went back into the hospital, leaving Tsukasa alone. He took a deep breath, and walked into the opposite direction.

What a coward. You are running away again.

What will he think? You're just abandoning him.

What kind of star is that? You just look pathetic.

Tsukasa hid his face with his forearm, walking faster. He just needed to rest, to properly lay down, and that awful day would end. How long was Rui going to stay at the hospital? He didn't even know, he didn't even ask. What an idiot, he should have known better. Did he care this less about Rui? Of course not! He loved him, he would do anything for him. And yet he was still failing at doing the simplest tasks.

Just as back at Halloween, he wasn't strong enough.

As soon as he arrived home, he ran to his room. He flopped on his bed, staring at the pegasus next to his pillow.

How silly.

What did he do for Rui...? Why was he asking the same questions again and again? He felt his head spinning, the world around him spiraling.

Why... couldn't he be strong enough...?

Tonight again, will be a sleepless and dreamless one.

In a dark night, where the stars' light had died.

Chapter Text

That morning was awful. Tsukasa couldn't sleep that night either, staring at the Pegasus which was making a small light. It wasn't enough to light the whole room, after all it was a night light. It felt so warm and comforting, almost as if it represented that small fragment of light within the blonde's dark thoughts. How childish was he to cuddle a plush to help him sleep? It didn't even work this time either. He didn't sleep at all, or he forgot if he even did. Each time he closed his eyes, he would see Rui's limp body in his arms, or those flowers. Just thinking about it made his hands tremble. At least the little plush brought some comfort to him, helping him to calm down.

His alarm clock suddenly rang, signaling that he had to get prepared to go to school. He sighed, absolutely not looking forward to it at all. He was exhausted, and worried about Rui. He just wanted to make sure that he was alright. And at the same time, he felt anxious by the mere idea of seeing him.

You ran away after all.

Well, he'll be able to see him after class. This could be a good motivation to finally get up, right?

The walk to school was long and tiring. After all, with no hours of sleep, his body could only be exhausted. But this time, he wouldn't be able to see Rui and to let the director take him in his arms, to hear his soft voice murmur sweet nothings to help his tired mind to relax. He had to go through this day without any comfort.

All alone.

Are you even worthy to ask for comfort now considering Rui's situation ? How selfish you are.

The blonde sighed, feeling embarrassed by those sudden thoughts. He walked faster, noticing how he was going to be late if he kept walking that slowly. But all of a sudden, someone brutally grabbed the back of his cardigan. Tsukasa screamed in surprise, immediately turning around.

"Who is that?!"

Nobody was there.

The blonde felt a shiver down his spine, scanning his surroundings. The hot air was making his skin sweat. Was it really only because of the weather?

Brutally, he heard it.

A giggle.

Tsukasa turned around on himself again, trying to figure out where the laugh was coming from. He felt his heartbeat getting faster with anxiety, while nothing was in sight.

"W-who's there?"

You're done for.

The blonde gasped, immediately running away at full speed. He didn't register where he was running precisely, his legs were moving without thinking. The air was intoxicating, his mind lost, confused and troubled. He was terrified. Who was that person? What did they want from him?! Were they some kind of stalker?

"Tsukasa?"

He heard a voice nearby. He raised his eyes and saw a tall figure not too far away. He brutally gasped, jumping on the person who had called his name. He began to yell in panic, holding tightly on the other.

"Help me-!"

"Wo wo what the hell chill dude!"

Tsukasa jumped in shock, raising his head from the other's chest. The person he was holding on dear life was Toya. He seemed absolutely confused, staring at the blonde with worry. Right next to him was Akito, who was staring at the star with anger, but mixed with concern – even if he wouldn't admit it himself. The former pianist gently took Tsukasa's wrists, making the blonde release his hold on his jacket.

"Tsukasa are you alright? What happened?"

The blonde stared at him, even more confused. He turned around, pointing with a trembling hand at the direction he came from.

"S-someone was threatening me...!"

"Threatening you?" Repeated the ginger, his attention picked. "Are you sure about that? Do you know who they were?"

"I'm sure of it!" Brutally shouted out Tsukasa, moving away from his childhood friend to stare at the other with a frown. "I didn't see their faces- I don't know who they were, but they were going to hurt me!"

"Are you sure that anybody would harm you?" Doubted the ginger. "In any case, you sure have pretty bad black circles under your eyes. You're sure that you didn't just sleepwalk?"

"I did not." Uttered angrily the blonde, closing firmly his fists.

Toya stared at him with even more confusion and worry.

Was he pitting him?

"It's alright, let's just walk to school together. Does that sound fine to you?"

Tsukasa's stare travelled between the two, thinking about his suggestion. He felt the heavy stare of the ginger on him, judging him, pitting him-

Who wouldn't? You're pathetic.

He could feel his skin getting itchy by their stare alone. He avoided their eyes, looking straight at the ground. His heartbeat was unable to calm down, as his palms were clammy. The sun was going to kill him-

He felt Toya taking his hand on his own, catching his attention.

"Tsukasa, are you sure that you want to go to school? Maybe you should go back home?"

He couldn't go back home.

He was going to die if he returned there alone.

He quickly shook his head with a trembling smile, taking a deep but shaking breath.

"N-no it's fine! I can go to class!"

He quickly started walking, releasing Toya's hand. The air was suffocating, the hot weather of summer was going to kill him.

The same way it killed Rui.

He felt his eyes water at this thought, while his breathing was getting erratic. He grabbed his shirt, trying to shake those thoughts off. He had to be strong, he had to.

He began to walk faster.

You are running away, again? Is this how a star acts?

Of course he wasn't running away, he was simply going to school. They weren’t the same thing, were they? Before he knew it, he finally arrived. Did the school look that gigantic? It was oppressive. The corridors felt thinner and longer, making his steps agonising. Each time he passed next to someone, they would turn their head almost at 180° to stare at him. He was a shiny star after all. His brightness was certainly what caught their eyes-

Who are you kidding? They are just staring at a loser.

You are walking strangely again, check your steps.

He quickly reached his classroom, sitting on his desk with a long sigh. Why did he feel that drained already? The day didn't start yet.

But when the teacher came, and when the classes began, he couldn't focus anymore.

All of his classmates were looking at him. They were scrutinising into the deepest part of his soul, and of his mind. They knew everything, about Hanahaki Disease, about Rui, about yesterday-

Everyone knew.

The entire world knew, and now they were going to get his head.

He felt a pain in his chest, as he grabbed his cardigan in panic.

That feeling...

That familiar pain...

Of course your feelings would be unrequited if the other is dead, right ? You killed him after all.

This is why everybody was staring at him. Was he shining so brightly that he ended up burning Rui?

Of course, it was simply because of your incompetence. What brilliance is there in someone as pitiful?

He was going to cry.

He was going to puke.

He was going to cough...?

Tsukasa gasped, brutally standing up from his chair. The teacher looked at him with confusion and surprise, tilting her head to the side.

He saw her mouth move, but none of her words reached his ears.

They were already blocked.

Before he could realise it, he was in the bathroom, sitting pathetically in front of the toilet bowl.

He had to get them out.

Wait... should he? He always kept them inside, swallowing them back, afraid of the pain, of them-

However, Rui was disabled because of his coughs.

Maybe if he had kept them inside, he wouldn't have injured his lungs?

But he was going to suffocate if they stood there longer... right?

He didn't want to die.

Push.

Tear them out.

Take them out.

Take them out !

The blonde leaned over the toilet bowl, making himself cough. After a few agonising minutes, he looked down.

Nothing.

Just that awful taste in his mouth and his head spinning, but no iron taste, nothing...

Did he even eat this morning...? He couldn't remember.

Well it didn't matter if he even did, none of it was still in his stomach now anyway.

But how odd, there weren't any flowers...?

He suddenly heard the bell ring, waking him up from his thoughts. Oh, it was time for a break, it appeared. He got up, slowly walking towards the rooftop. He was expecting a cold breeze against his cheeks, but he was only met with the atrociously hot air of summer. He simply sat on the ground with a long sigh, feeling his heartbeat slowing down. He could feel himself dozing off, his sleepless night catching him.

The doors suddenly opened, making him jump in surprise. Nene hesitantly looked through the gap of the doors, and gasped as soon as she saw the blonde sitting on the ground.

"Tsukasa! There you are!"

The blonde tilted his head to the side, as the diva ran to reach his level. She kneeled in front of him with a worried look.

"Are you alright? You abruptly came back home yesterday, and-"

"Oh worry not dear Nene! I am perfectly fine, better than I have ever been even!" Brightly retorted the blonde with an iconic pose.

She sighed, certainly because of his loud voice, but still with a small smile. She sat next to him and took out her phone. The blonde looked at her screen, while she was opening a game. A small silence took place between the two, it wasn't awkward at all but comfortable. The star found himself getting lost into the diva's gameplay. He was simply looking at her thumbs tapping the screen, even if he couldn't really comprehend what was going on in the game. Suddenly, Nene spoke up, catching the blonde's attention.

"By the way, do you want to go to rehearsal after school? After all, Rui is hospitalised, so I was wondering if we should wait for his return..."

…

Hospitalised?

Rui was hospitalised...?

He couldn't be, he was dead.

Nene must have noticed his face flinching, lost into nothingness since she called his name. Tsukasa quickly shook his head, staring back at the diva. Maybe that was a mistake from her end, right?

"Tsukasa? Were you listening?"

"He is hospitalised?" Suddenly asked the blonde, unable to keep his thoughts silent.

Nene immediately raised her eyebrows in surprise, staring at the blonde with confusion. Her stare quickly scanned him, as she answered with hesitation.

"… Yes he is. He had heat exhaustion yesterday. This is why he is hospitalised. You... don't remember?"

"Yes I do, he had heat exhaustion." Repeated the blonde with a bittersweet smile.

An awkward silence took place between the two. Nene was staring at Tsukasa with confusion and concern. Did he say something weird? The diva suddenly closed her game, looking back at Tsukasa with a new facial expression.

It was concern

It was with disgust.

"Tsukasa, are you sure that you are alright?"

The star's eyes widened at the question.

Was he alright?

He was.

He weakly laughed, hearing his own voice crack. How could she be so calm knowing that her childhood friend was dead? Why was he the only one grieving him? Didn't the others care about Rui...?

But... she said he was hospitalised.

That isn't possible. She's lying to you.

Tsukasa quickly shook his head, letting a sigh escape his lips. He suddenly felt Nene's palm on his shoulder, making him jump in surprise. She immediately retrieved her hand, staring at him with shock and worry. She seemed to be searching for her words, and asked again with hesitation.

"Tsukasa, are you sure that you are alright? Maybe you should go back home..."

"I can't." Brutally retorted the blonde with a trembling voice.

That person was waiting for him there. They were going to harm him, or even kill him if he walked there.

Brutally, the bell rang, announcing that break was over. Nene seemed hesitant to leave the blonde, and carefully held his hand.

"Then let's go to class, alright? We'll walk together to the park after school, I'll come take you to your class."

The blonde hesitated for a bit. He was a star, he didn't need any help.

But as soon as he heard those words, he felt his heart getting lighter. He slowly nodded with a small smile, tightening the hold on the diva's hand.

"That sounds perfect to me."

**

It was an awfully long day. Rehearsal finished earlier than usual, allowing the troupe to head back home. Tsukasa didn't really know the reason why the girls wanted to end practice that early. Well, he would lie if he said that he didn't have any idea, as small as it could be.

They were staring at you during the whole thing after all.

Tsukasa quickly put his clothes inside his bag, and left the stage. He brutally stood in front of the gates of the park, feeling a chill down his spine.

Should he... go back home...?

He couldn't. Maybe he could ask someone to walk with him, but that was pathetic. He was a star after all, he shouldn't burden other with such trivial things. As he was drowning in his own thoughts, he brutally remembered his conversation with Nene during break.

Rui was hospitalised.

Was it really true...? He could only know by checking himself. It wasn't as if he could go back home anyway. With a new found goal, he began to walk in the other direction, towards the hospital. The further he walked, the bigger the knot inside his stomach grew. He wanted it to be true, but he was afraid of what he would find.

Just like when he saw those bloody flowers across the ground.

He quickly shook his head. It was alright, no flowers... Rui had no flowers.

Well, he couldn't if he was dead anyway.

After a bit, Tsukasa finally arrived at the building. He passed the front doors, feeling the cold air of the air conditioner against his body. As if his legs were robotic, he began to walk through the corridors.

He knew the hospital like the back of his hand after all.

After a few minutes, he arrived in front of a room with the number 88. He was starting to get a headache, as he was staring at the number. He finally shook his head, and took the doorknob with a trembling hand. As soon as he opened the door, he froze.

Rui was there.

Rui was lying on the bed, his face turned towards the window. It was a peaceful scenery. The blonde's breath got stolen by the sight, seeing the purple hair highlighted by the warm ray of light. Rui certainly had heard the door open, since he immediately turned his head around. His eyes widened as soon as he saw the blonde, and smiled brightly.

"Tsukasa~!"

Tsukasa was frozen.

Rui... was alive...?

He quickly shook his head, smiling in return at the director. Rui sat on the bed, turning his face towards the clock on the wall, and asked with surprise:

"You came early, you didn't have practice today?"

"Emu and Nene wanted to make it short." Answered the blonde, slowly walking towards the bed. "I suppose that it is a bit hard to practice without you. Furthermore I didn't really work on the script yet."

"Oh, is that so? I see, I see."

The blonde's stare was stuck on the director, analysing every trait on his face. His slightly pointy nose, his slight torn lips, his vivid yellow eyes with that stain of blue... Everything seemed to be there. Without realising his own moves, Tsukasa carefully cupped Rui's face, feeling his cold skin against his palm. The director looked back at him with surprise, but stayed silent.

Rui... was real...?

Brutally, he felt a cold touch against the back of his hand. His stare moved towards his own hand, as he heard Rui's voice reaching his ears.

"Tsukasa? Is something wrong?"

The blonde slowly giggled, feeling his eyes tearing up.

Rui... was alive.

He felt his heartbeat slowing down, while his thumbs were softly rubbing the cheekbones of his partner. Rui leaned his face further into the touch with a soft smile. If he was a cat, he would certainly purr at that moment. The blonde softly smiled, finally answering the other's question.

"Everything's fine. I'm relieved that you are alright."

Rui raised his eyes towards the blonde, and softly chuckled as a reply. Suddenly, he held the star's hands and pushed them off his face. Then, he slightly moved to the side, leaving a small space on the bed right next to him. Tsukasa didn't need any word, understanding immediately what the other meant. He simply obliged, sitting on the bed. He felt one of Rui's arms reaching behind his back, pushing him further on the bed by the waist. The blonde was now laying down next to the director, his face against his shoulder. The inventor cupped his face with his free hand, looking at him with a small smile and concerned eyes.

"You had a pretty bad night, right? You have black circles under your eyes."

Tsukasa raised his eyebrows in surprise. He simply sighed, snuggling into the crook of Rui's neck.

"Hm... a bit, yes."

The director hummed in reply  with a sadden look, and softly kissed the blonde's forehead. Tsukasa could feel his head getting lighter, and the pain in his stomach fading away. He was relaxing against Rui's soft touches, and also by the sound of his heartbeat. His chest was rising slowly, almost in a hypnotic manner.

Rui was breathing.

"What are you thinking about?" Suddenly asked the director, gently rubbing Tsukasa's cheekbones. "You seem deep in thoughts."

"Oh... nothing much." Replied the star, looking at the window.

The alchemist simply hummed once again in reply, without adding anything further. Tsukasa hated silence, but when he was with Rui or his friends, it felt comforting. His stare was wandering across the room, until he saw something on the table next to Rui.

Flowers.

He frowned, holding tightly the inventor's hospital gown. The alchemist instantly turned his face towards the star as soon as he felt the sudden pressure on his cloth, and asked with confusion:

"Is everything alright, my star?"

"Why do you have flowers?" Brutally asked the blonde, not leaving the bouquet out of sight.

"Oya? Mizuki came to see me earlier and brought them." Replied the director, whose confused look turned into a smirk. "Is someone jealous~? Aww my poor little star-"

"They're toxic."

"… What?" Suddenly blinked the purple-haired boy, certainly not expecting that answer.

Tsukasa's stare wasn't moving at all, as he was staring with empty eyes at the flowers next to them. Rui's face turned back and forth towards the flowers and his partner, as he chuckled awkwardly.

"Don't worry they're not, Mizuki wouldn't bring toxic flowers-"

"They're toxic." Insisted the blonde with a groan. "Flowers release a toxin, and you'll die if you breathe it."

The director was staring with confusion at the blonde. He softly patted the blonde's head and answered with a calm tone.

"Alright, alright. Do you prefer to move them away then?"

Without adding anything else, the blonde simply stood up from the bed, and took the vase. Then he opened the window, and put it on the ledge before closing the window. Then he quickly washed his hands in the bathroom, and returned to his initial spot in Rui's arms with a long sigh and a proud smile.

"There! We avoided a big crisis! They are still really pretty, and since it's a gift I simply put them outside. Now you can look at them without risking getting intoxicated! You can thank your amazing boyfriend who saved your life!"

Rui looked at the blonde with widened eyes, certainly still processing what just happened. He weakly smiled, patting the blonde's head.

"Thank you then, my little star."

The blonde softly smiled, snuggling against the director's neck. He could feel his eyelids getting heavier, while the soft touches of the inventor were calming his thoughts down again.

Or maybe it wasn't the touches, but simply exhaustion.

Rui must have realised that too, since his talked to the blonde with a quiet tone, almost a whisper:

"You can take a little nap. I'll wake you up if you stay too long."

The blonde wanted to retort, but he felt all his strength failing him. And slowly, he fell into dreamland.

**

Rui was writing robot's blueprints on his sketchbook. He had asked his parents to bring some of his books to his hospital room. It was some activity to distract him from the long days, but also because his mind was blowing with new ideas. Of course, they weren't as exciting as his usual prototypes were, but they were necessary. They were for safety measures. He was working on an air conditioner as well as a spray water machine similar to the bubble one he did months ago. He wanted to incorporate them on stage, disguising them to not make them stand out on stage. Furthermore...

He wanted to stay true to his words, to not make the others worry about him again.

He had felt his heart trembling when he argued with Tsukasa a few days ago, but he had to. Maybe he was indeed being reckless, but he was also persuaded that it was the only way to properly move on. Besides, he was genuinely missing performing with all of them.

He couldn't forget how troubled Tsukasa was when they fought, and how his heart shattered at this sight. However despite their confrontation, the blonde seemed to not hold any grudge on him. He seemed to feel a bit better, even if... something was feeling a bit odd about the blonde. He was certainly still shocked about what happened, after all Emu had told him how he needed to rest after Rui got hospitalised. She didn't go into any details, but the inventor figured that the blonde may have gone through some kind of breakdown.

Because of him, once again.

However, he seemed to feel a bit better since that day, but Rui couldn't shake that feeling off. A few days had passed since the blonde's first visit, and this feeling didn't go away. When the star had fallen asleep against him during his first visit, Rui had used the blonde's phone to call Saki to pick him up from the hospital. After all, he didn't really want the star to head back home alone because of how exhausted he was. Walking alone under that hot weather with no hours of sleep was far too dangerous. Even during the whole visit, the star was unusually silent, lost in thought. Rui had no idea on what to do, and simply cuddled him. He wished he could have done more, but sometimes simply staying together was enough. At least, he hoped. Maybe this was just temporary, and Tsukasa was still worrying sickly about him, resulting in his silent behaviour. Once he would be discharged, things would certainly go back as they were. After all, he seemed to feel better after that day, being back to his usual self on his next visits.

He really had to get better and reassure the others about his own status. He had to be there for them.

All of a sudden, the door opened, making him jolt in surprise. Nene entered his room, a small bag in hand. Rui was a bit confused to see her this early in the morning, but suddenly remembered that they were on Saturday. He had been in hospital for three days, but it already felt like months. It was as if he never actually left the hospital a few months ago to begin with. Nene sat on the chair next to his bed, giving him the small bag she had.

"Good morning Rui. I brought some soda candies for you."

"Thank you Nene." Smiled back the director, opening the bag with his cat grin.

"How long are you going to stay hospitalised?"

"For a few more days. I should be discharged next week, maybe on Tuesday, something like this."

"I see, that is a relief." Smiled the diva with a small sigh.

Her stare travelled to the table next to him, as she let a few giggles out.

"Someone gifted you a platypus plush? It looks really cute."

"Absolutely! Isn't it adorable?" Retorted happily the director, taking the plush in hands. "Tsukasa even put a little star charm on it."

As soon as he uttered those words, Nene's eyes widened in shock. She frowned, and asked with hesitation:

"Tsukasa gifted it to you? Did your parents give it to you on his behalf?"

Rui tilted his head to the side, confused. What did she mean by that? That Tsukasa asked his parents to give it to him? But... Why was she asking something like that? And most importantly, why did she seem surprised that Tsukasa gifted him it in the first place?

"Not at all, Tsukasa gave it to me himself. I don't really understand why you are asking this."

"Wait, you saw Tsukasa? Tsukasa came to see you?"

"… Yes? Everyday after school in fact. Is it... not normal...? Is there something going on that I am not aware of?" Asked the director, even more confused than before.

But apart from confusion, he was also getting anxious. What was going on? Nene's face flinched with worry and hesitation. She looked at the side, and murmured as she played with her hair out of nervousness:

"Did... you notice anything at all about him?"

"… I suppose so? Nene, if something is going on, please tell me." Answered the director with seriousness, starting to get even more worried about Tsukasa himself.

"Well... I don't really know myself." Started to explain the diva with hesitation. "He's acting really strangely these days. He's really moody. Well... you know how expressive he is, but it's not quite the same. He switches moods really quickly, and... I don't know how to say it but... something doesn't seem right."

"Can you be more precise?"

"He does and says weird stuff? I mean, he already does that so I don't know if I'm overthinking this, or if he is indeed doing something weird. I don't know... I don't really talk with his friends at school, and Emu only sees him during rehearsal so she seemed to not really have noticed either."

"Are you sure? Emu practice with him at his place with Aoyagi too, right? They learn how to compose music. Maybe she did notice something there too?" Retorted Rui, bringing his hand to his chin. "But still... that is concerning. As for me, I admit that I did notice something weird but... I thought that he was simply still a bit shaken with my faint?"

"They still haven't started. They preferred to see the script with you first to then learn how to compose the correct music right away." Answered Nene, staring at her knees. "So you did notice something too after all... I thought that too, to be honest. Maybe he is just really nervous about you, and he'll get better once you're discharged?"

"I hope." Replied the director with a bittersweet smile. "I mean, he did put the flowers outside of the window because they were toxic, apparently."

Nene's eyes widened as soon as she heard his words. She crossed her arms, and repeated with a frown.

"… Wait, you're saying that he put flowers outside of your room because they were toxic?"

"Yes. I... thought that it was some kind of weird joke or that he was practicing a role, or maybe still anxious about flowers because of our Hanahaki Disease? I didn't really know how to react so I just let him do it-"

"How could that be a joke? Where is the fun part in it?" Brutally retorted the diva who was even more confused.

"I don't know I was taken aback when he said that." Explained the director, looking at the window and the punished flowers. "Maybe it's as you said and it's just temporary. I'll make sure to look after him once I'm discharged. Did you talk about it with the Virtual Singers, or even with Saki?"

"I'm not really close with his sister, so I didn't really have the opportunity to..." Replied the diva, playing with her hands out of nervousness. "I can ask Emu to talk about it with her since they see each other at school. As for the Virtual Singers, I admit that I still didn't ask them. I preferred to see it with you beforehand. After all, maybe I was just overthinking it..."

"I see. Thank you for telling me this. We need to be more attentive to Tsukasa's actions and see if the situation evolves or not." Suggested the director with a firm tone.

Nene nodded with a small smile, feeling her own anxiety calming down a bit.

But Rui's thoughts were still spiraling. What did Nene mean by 'weird'? Well, he did notice something, but it was only one  time. The other times Tsukasa had visited him, he was absolutely fine. At least he thought. Wasn't he paying enough attention to him? He was certainly too careless. If the diva was this nervous about it, maybe Tsukasa's actions were more concerning than he thought.

Maybe he didn't realise how far Tsukasa's situation actually was.

Chapter Text

Rui was readjusting this necktie in front of his mirror. He had finally been discharged, and was getting ready for school. He had left the hospital the day before, and instantly came back home with his parents. He had sent a message to his friends to warn them and to reassure them. He would have loved to see them as soon as he was out, but it was already the evening, almost night when he came back home. Tsukasa would have certainly run to his house to see him anyway, as he did when he was discharged a few months ago. 

However, he didn't.

He cheered by text, excited to see him at school. Rui was certainly overthinking this, but he would have liked to see the star before school.  He could have gone to his place himself, it wasn't really an issue at all. But since the blonde didn't have specify anything, or made any move as he would have usually done, the director guessed that he simply couldn't, or didn't want to see him. That thought made his heart ache a little, but he quickly shook his reflexions off. Tsukasa certainly had a reason for it, and if he began to feel depressed just by this little thing, he would never see the end of it. Nevertheless, it didn't really matter now. He was preparing himself to go to school, and he would be able to see his star. If anything had happened, he would know immediately. He quickly grabbed his bag, and left the house.

He had brought a small spray bottle, and a flask to not faint under the hot weather. After all, he was going to be extra careful as he promised, even in school. During his walk, he finally noticed the star walking a few metres away. He seemed to be walking slower than usual, examining his surroundings. Maybe he was simply lost in thoughts ? In any case, his precious star was only a few feet away. The inventor quickened his steps, and reached the blonde quickly. He suddenly patted his shoulder while greeting him, making the blonde jolt in surprise.

Or should he say, scream in terror.

The blonde jumped and immediately turned around, almost bursting into tears in fear. As soon as he noticed Rui, he gasped and scolded him.

"Rui!! Don't ever do that again! I almost had a heart attack!"

"Hehe sorry my star~" Retorted the director with a small smirk. 

He carefully hugged the blonde as an apology, gaining a small groan out of him. However, the star was quick to melt into the embrace with a small smile. Rui could feel his heartbeat against his own chest. It was going extremely fast. Certainly because of the scare he just had, but it seemed to not really calm down. He slowly patted his head, as he let a peck on his forehead.

"Shh there, there, everything's fine."

As he uttered those words, he felt the blonde holding tightly on his cardigan. The director was a bit surprised by this reaction, looking down at the star. He seemed deep in thoughts again. His face was still full of worries, or nervousness? It felt as if he was hiding in Rui's arms, making himself smaller. The director softly cupped his face, forcing the star to raise his head.

"Tsukasa, is something bothering you?"

The blonde seemed to hesitate a bit, looking around them. He softly shook his head, sinking it once more in the crook of Rui's neck.

"No, it's alright. I just missed you."

"I missed you too." Smiled the inventor, stroking his hair.

The star leaned into the touch with a content sigh, finally letting himself slowly calm down. Rui could notice it by the rising of his chest, as well as his heartbeat. He kissed softly once again the blonde's forehead, making the other smile by the sweet attention.

"We should keep walking before getting late to class." Suggested the alchemist, carefully pushing the blonde away from the embrace.

Tsukasa smiled and nodded, taking Rui's hand in his own. The couple resumed the walk in a comfortable silence. The blonde's hand was warm as usual, but felt also a bit clammy. The inventor couldn't really blame him considering the hot weather. However, the star was starting to do the same thing he was doing when Rui saw him from afar. He was looking at their surroundings, as if he was scanning the area, or searching for something. The alchemist couldn't help but feel a knot of apprehension inside his stomach.

Was it the weird behaviour that Nene was talking about?

"Are you looking for something?" Suddenly asked the director.

Tsukasa didn't answer. He was still looking around them, lost in thought. It was as if he didn't hear him at all. Rui carefully patted his shoulder once again, finally making the star react.

"Oh sorry, did you say something?"

"Indeed." Retorted Rui, trying to not let his concern show. "Are you looking for something? You are looking a bit everywhere except in front of us."

"O-oh." The star awkwardly giggled, making their hands slowly bounce. "It's... not really important, don't worry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Let's just go to school now." Urged the blonde, quickening their steps.

Even if Rui wasn't really satisfied with that answer, he let it slide. He would ask again later.

They didn't take too much time to arrive. The school was already full of students who were walking around. Unconsciously, they released each other's hand. Even if they were comfortable with their relationship, sometimes the blonde would feel a bit too embarrassed to act too touchy in public, even more in school. It wasn't really the case for the director, or it depended on the context. However, he still respected the star's boundaries. The two of them didn't waste any time and directly walked towards the blonde's class. After all, the bell would soon ring. Even if they were known to be troublemakers, they would at least not be late.

They finally arrived in front of Tsukasa's class. The inventor felt the urge to kiss the blonde as a 'see you later', but restrained himself. He simply smiled, waving to the star with a smirk.

"Good luck with your classes my star. See you at lunch break~"

He was about to leave, but felt his sleeve being pulled back. He quickly turned around, and met Tsukasa's confused stare. The blonde was grabbing on his cardigan, holding him back. Rui tilted his head to the side, waiting for the star to elaborate. An awkward silence took place between the two, until the star finally broke it. 

"Where are you going?"

The alchemist frowned, even more confused than before. The blonde was still holding his arm, waiting for an answer. Rui weakly chuckled out of nervousness, not really sure where this conversation was going.

"I'm going to my class. Classes will start soon."

"But it's right here?"

Rui raised his eyebrows in surprise. He quickly glanced at the ceiling to make sure that he wasn't mistaken. The little sign said '2-A' which was indeed the star's class. Was Tsukasa really talking about his own class...? The director was even more confused than before, if it was even possible. Maybe the star made a mistake in their classrooms? He took a deep breath, trying to keep his thoughts clear from his confusion. Maybe the star was simply tired, or joking, as weird as it sounded?

"No Tsukasa, this is your classroom."

"That is what I'm saying."

"… This is absolutely not what you were saying." Retorted the alchemist with a frown.

He slowly got closer to the blonde, touching his forehead. The star jolted in surprise, staring at Rui with widened eyes. Surprisingly, he didn't have any fever. But most of all, the star seemed confused as well. Where was this even going ? Rui gently held Tsukasa's wrist, forcing the blonde to release his sleeve.

"Alright alright, I really need to go to class before the bell rings-"

"But it's right here!" Suddenly uttered the blonde with his voice rising in volume.

"Tsukasa, I don't know where you are getting at but it's just your class, not mine." Weakly chuckled the alchemist out of nervousness. 

"But we're in the same class."

Rui froze.

What?

He slowly shook his head, feeling the knot in his stomach growing from worry. He quickly checked once again the blonde's temperature by touching his forehead.

"No Tsukasa, we're not. This is precisely why I need to go to class, because we want to be in the same class next year. You are in 2-A and I am in 2-B. Are you sure that you are alright? Did you hit your head? Are you hurt?"

Brutally, the blonde moved Rui's hand away. The director stared at him in shock, while the blonde's face was wearing a completely different emotion.

It was a mix of anger and sadness.

The blonde avoided his stare, and murmured with a weak voice:

"So you really hate me...?"

…

Rui gasped, feeling his heart drop. What was even that conclusion? The star turned around, entering his classroom. Before he could completely disappear from sight, the director brutally grabbed his shoulder, forcing the blonde to stay put. The director began to panic. Why did he say such things? Did he do something wrong that made it look like he hated the blonde? He couldn't simply let him go like this, even if the clock was ticking.

"Tsukasa what are you saying? Of course I don't hate you!"

The blonde kept his head lowered, staying silent. The director slightly bent down, cupping the star's face softly.

"Please, can you look at me?"

Tsukasa suddenly shook his head, forcing the alchemist to let him go. Rui was about to grab his arm again, but the star brutally shook it off.

"Leave me alone."

Rui froze in place. Suddenly, the bell rang, announcing the beginning of classes. Before the star could enter his class, the director uttered with determination:

"I'll see you at lunch."

Tsukasa didn't look at him, and simply sat at his desk. Rui turned around to regain his own classroom, while his head was in complete disarray.

What even happened? What was that fight? Over classrooms?! He didn't even know how he was supposed to feel. He should be angry with how Tsukasa treated him, but he just couldn't. He was way too confused to even comprehend what happened. It was just like that flower case back at the hospital. Tsukasa's eyes were wearing the same feeling as back then.

He was convinced into his own affirmations.

He knew how Tsukasa had a bad memory, but this was beyond that. It didn't make any sense at all. It wasn't memory loss, it was something totally different. Even if the lesson had already started, Rui couldn't focus at all. He was still thinking about Tsukasa and that weird talk. This was certainly what Nene actually meant with his weird behaviour, about saying odd things. But why would he do such a thing?

Something was going on for sure.

Rui began to write in his sketchbook, trying to figure out by himself what may have been the cause of it, or what it could be to begin with. He wrote down anything weird that happened with the blonde, trying to remember when they happened as well. He had to ask the others what kind of things he did when he was hospitalised, to try and collect every fragment together. He brutally gasped, bringing his hand to his chin.

Maybe the Virtual Singers would know?

After all, Tsukasa would often talk with Kaito about his feelings, this was what he did during the Hanahaki Disease incident. Furthermore, his SEKAI actually evolved because of it as well, allowing flowers to grow. Maybe it was the same now as well, and his SEKAI changed? Maybe he could gather information there?

After all, he knew that it would be difficult for Tsukasa to talk about it himself. Maybe it would help him if Rui knew a few things already? Well, on an usual basis, maybe the director would have been able to put the blonde at ease enough. But now, he wasn't that sure about it. After all, the blonde was straight up talking nonsense. Maybe his own confessions would be false.

His head was going to explode with how confusing this whole situation was. He never expected his first day of being discharged to be this chaotic already.

Before he could realise it, lunch arrived. Without wasting any minute, he almost jumped out of his desk and quickly grabbed his lunchbox. If he could have run, he would have. However, he wasn't going to risk getting another trip to the hospital on his first day out. He simply walked faster, quickly reaching Tsukasa's classroom. There were not a lot of students left. After all, they were all making the most of the summer, eating outside instead. Fortunately, Tsukasa was still there, sitting at his desk. His head was on top of his arms, crossed on his desk. He looked as if he was asleep.

Rui carefully reached him, softly patting his shoulder. Tsukasa jolted at the touch, raising his head. As soon as he saw Rui, he avoided his stare, hiding his face once again in his arms. Rui sighed, kneeling next to him to try to be at his eye level. The blonde's hands were harshly grabbing his own sleeves, turning his knuckles white. Rui sighed, taking a deep breath.

"Tsukasa, are you alright?"

The blonde didn't answer. However, it wasn't enough to make the director give up. His voice was soft and calm, contrasting with his erratic heartbeat from his nervousness.

"I'm sorry if I hurted you earlier, I didn't mean to. If I did anything that hurted you, please tell me."

Tsukasa weakly groaned, holding even tighter his sleeve if it could be possible. Rui sighed, softly reaching the blonde's hand.

"Tsukasa please, can you look at me?"

The blonde shook his head, answering with his voice being muffled in his arms.

"Just leave me alone..."

"I can't do that." Retorted the director firmly, while trying to keep his voice soft. "You don't look well, I can't just let you be like this."

"Why would you care?"

Rui frowned. Without realising it, he let his thoughts out immediately.

"Because I am your boyfriend, and I love you."

Tsukasa jolted in shock. The director took yet another deep breath, and asked again:

"Tsukasa, please can you look at me?"

The blonde finally gave up, slowly raising his head. The black circles under his eyes seemed to look even worse, certainly because of the sudden redness of his eyes. The director let a sigh escape his lips, while the knot in his stomach didn't fade away. He gently held one of Tsukasa's hands, softly rubbing his knuckles. 

"Is something going on? You can tell me."

"Nothing..." Mumbled the blonde, letting his head melt on his arm.

"It doesn't look like ‘nothing’ to me." Retorted the director, calmly.

Tsukasa stayed silent. He was now gazing into the classroom, lost in thought. Rui felt a shiver down his spine at this sight. Something felt different within the blonde. He couldn't really put his finger on it, but he knew that something was going on, and it made his worry even worse. He tried to smile, keeping his concern inside.

"Do you want to go to the rooftop?"

The blonde raised his eyebrows in surprise. He seemed to hesitate a bit, but finally nodded. He took his own luncheon, standing up from the desk. Then Rui carefully held his hand, leading him to the rooftop.

As soon as they arrived, they calmly sat on the ground, putting their respective food nearby. They were sitting next to each other, in a small silence. Once again, the blonde seemed lost in thought. He was looking anxiously behind them through the gate. As if he was searching for something, once more. Rui sighed, gently patting his shoulder.

"Tsukasa, is something wrong?"

The blonde jolted in surprise, staring with terror at the director. He quickly shook his head, as if he was trying to clear his own thoughts.

"N-nothing..."

"Please, stop saying that. Something is clearly bothering you. Can you tell me?"

The star brought his legs up to his chest, resting his head on top of his knees, leaving once again Rui with the silent treatment.

"Are you mad at me?" Brutally asked the director with confusion.

Tsukasa raised his head in surprise. He seemed to hesitate, avoiding the purple-haired boy's stare.

"I... I don't know."

"You don't know?"

The blonde bit his lip, hugging his legs tightly. Rui let a sigh escape, as he tried to recollect his thoughts. He had to be careful in his words. After a few seconds, he finally said with a soft smile:

"Tsukasa, I'm worried about you. So if something is troubling you, please tell me. You can trust me."

The star's eyes looked back at the director with a gasp. His voice began to shake, while he hid his face back into his knees.

"But... I hurted you..."

"What? Of course you didn't-"

"I killed you.. or... I guess almost... And this is why you hate me, like everyone else does." Uttered the blonde with a sniffle, making himself even smaller.

Rui was at a loss of words. What was he saying...? He carefully got closer to the blonde, softly rubbing his back. He didn't need more words to at last understand where the blonde was getting at. He was certainly referencing his heat exhaustion, and this realisation made his heart tremble.

"Of course you didn't. It wasn't your fault. Things like this happen, you did nothing wrong. And once again, I don't hate you, and I'm sure that nobody else does."

Tsukasa sudenly frowned, and groaned in disapprovement and anger.

"That's wrong! I saw them. They want me gone."

Rui was frozen in place. What even happened when he was hospitalised…? He tried to remain as calm as possible, trying to reassure the blonde and help him elaborate.

"What makes you think that...?"

"Their stares- they... they want me gone... Because of what I did... just like you-"

"Tsukasa." Harshly retorted Rui.

The blonde jolted in surprise, raising his eyes towards the director.

"Look at me, have I ever looked at you like this?"

The blonde was shaking, searching for his words. After a few seconds, he weakly shook his head, adding with an uncharacteristically quiet voice:

"N-no... you haven’t."

"Precisely. I haven’t. I wasn't here for the past few days, so I don't know for the others, but I'm sure they weren't either. They were certainly looking at you with heavy stares because you caught their attention? Maybe they were worried about you too? In any case, even if they did, nothing will happen to you. I'll make sure of it, so you don't need to worry."

"You... you don't hate me...?" Hesitantly asked the blonde with teary eyes, raising his head to look at the director.

"I would never. Tsukasa, you are the person I cherish the most. I could never hate you, even if I wanted to." Reassured the purple-haired boy.

He had no idea why the blonde was convinced by this, but he could feel the star starting to relax. He let his head rest against the director's shoulder with a sigh.

"Sorry..."

"It's alright, you don't have to apologise." Replied the director, softly patting his head. "How are you feeling?"

"I... I don't know." Answered the blonde, his stare starting to get unfocused again.

Rui frowned at this sight. Tsukasa seemed to get lost in thoughts again. How could it be this frequent? Deep inside, Rui had the intuition that he shouldn't let the blonde be lost in his thoughts for too long. He gently patted his hand, catching his attention once again. He softly smiled at him, changing to topic, trying to distract the blonde:

"Now that I think of it, you did start writing the script for our new show. How is it? Can you tell me about the plot?"

Tsukasa looked at him with surprise. He hummed, recollecting his own thoughts. He was holding Rui's hand with both of his, gently rubbing the cold palm of the director's hand. The alchemist found that sight adorable, but was careful to not let his thoughts drift away. The blonde finally answered, his voice still a bit too quiet for the bright star that he was.

"This time I wrote from a tale, Alice in Wonderland..."

"Oh, that sounds fun~" Retorted Rui, making his tone obviously joyful to light up the atmosphere. "Are we going to follow the original storyline, or adapt it differently?"

"Hm... It will change because we don't have enough time to play all of it. And I want to make something unique."

"Something that only Wonderlands x Showtime can do~" Playfully retorted the director, softly rubbing Tsukasa's back.

"Obviously." Softly giggled the blonde.

Finally.

His smile was coming back.

Rui could see the sparkles in his eyes slowly coming back as well, making him sigh in relief. He continued his little interrogation, both to keep his star on the right track, but also with genuine curiosity.

"Did you assign roles already?"

"Hm... A bit. Actually, I was thinking of giving Alice's role to Emu, because Nene would be perfect for the caterpillar. But at the same time, Emu's energy would be perfect for the Wonderland's residents. Besides, Nene's usual calm attitude does a perfect contrast with the vivid environment, and would make it even more funny!" Rambled the star with a growing enthusiasm.

"What about you~? Which role would you get? I'm sure that you would be a really cute Alice though."

Tsukasa's face turned as red as a tomato, as he screamed in Rui's arms. He quickly crossed his arms with a pout, 

"Absolutely not! I was thinking about the Queen of Hearts. A ruler, which would be a perfect fit for me ! Alice is iconic with her blue dress anyway-"

"And? You would look amazing with a blue dress too. Besides, the Queen of Hearts also has an iconic dress~"

The blonde quickly turned into an even more blushing mess, slowly melting into Rui's chest. The director chuckled, softly kissing his red ear, as he was whispering into it.

"An adorable little queen~ Or an adorable little Alice?"

"I-I was thinking... T-to be a k-king instead..." Mumbled the blonde, while Rui wrapped his arms around his waist, pushing him closer against him. "After all it would be... a-an adaptation so..."

"Then why not a cute Alice~? After all, you are blonde too, and Alice is known to be blonde, right?"

"You just want to see me in a dress..."

"Oya such accusations hurt me, ouch ! But to be honest, who wouldn't~?" Chuckled Rui, his lips slowly going down to his neck, making the blonde sigh and shiver. "Your reactions would be really funny too, right? After all, in the adaptation that most people know, Alice seems a lot passive with what is happening around her. Nene would fit that role perfectly. But making a screaming Alice always asking about what's going on will make it even funnier, right~? Besides, you often play a knight or a king, playing Alice would be a nice change for the public as well, and even more unexpected. Furthermore, men used to play a lot of women's roles before. That wouldn't be a problem at all."

The blonde quietly groaned, slightly squirming into Rui's hold. The alchemist wasn't sure if it was because of his words, or his sloppy kisses along his skin. He softly chuckled, gently caressing his sides in a comforting manner.

"If it makes you too embarrassed, you can play a male version, just as you said with the Queen."

"N-no it's alright..." Suddenly retorted the blonde, snuggling into the director's hold, with a trembling proud smile. "After all, Alice is... Alice! B-besides, a star shouldn't back up from any challenge, it's just another... hardship on my path to stardom!"

His loud voice brutally softened, as his face got even redder.

"A-and if the director himself thinks that it is a good idea then... I can just follow his guts..."

Rui happily held the blonde tighter, attacking him with sloppy kisses all along his face. He was a bit surprised at this turn of events, but was welcoming it with open arms. He could feel the blonde relaxing into his hold, as he let a few pecks on Rui's cheeks himself. After a few minutes, both of them simply stayed there in silence, enjoying each other's company. Tsukasa was snuggling into Rui's neck, seeming way calmer than before. Rui couldn't help but let a sigh of relief escape his lips. He carefully took Tsukasa's lunch, waving it in front of the blonde. 

"We should eat before lunch break ends, right?"

The star seemed surprised, as if he forgot the reason why they were here in the first place. He nodded with a small smile, taking the box in his hands. Both of them started eating, but didn't change their position. Tsukasa was sitting between Rui's legs, his head resting against his shoulder. It wasn't really practical for the director to eat in this conditions, but he didn't mind at all. He wouldn't on a daily basis, but the situation made it even less troublesome. Unconsciously, his stare was still on the blonde, examining his facial expression. After some time, he finally asked with a calm tone:

"How are you feeling?"

Tsukasa looked up at the inventor. He hummed, looking back at his lunch. 

…

He was taking a bit too long to answer this.

After a little while, he finally nodded, putting his half empty lunch on the ground, while his head was resting against Rui's shoulder.

"Good."

The director softly smiled, leaving a peck on the blonde's forehead. However, even if he said that he was feeling alright, he seemed lost in thought again. Maybe he shouldn't have asked this? However compared to earlier, it wasn't quite the same look. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he seemed less out of it, he seemed to be genuinely thinking.

"Is something bothering you?" Finally asked Rui, rubbing softly the star's back.

Tsukasa seemed to hesitate for a second, but looked back into the inventor's eyes. His face seemed full of worry, and a bit of sadness.

"Earlier, were you... honest?"

"Oya?" Gasped in return Rui, not expecting this kind of question. "Can you be more specific, please?"

"I meant... how you didn't dislike me...?"

"Of course I was honest. I wasn't lying." Affirmed Rui, gently taking the blonde's hand on his own. "I don't know what makes you doubt it, but I truly love you. If I can do anything to prove it to you, I will. You just need to ask."

Tsukasa's eyes widened at this sentence. Rui would expect him to giggle, or to squirm with a red face, but the star's reaction was something else. He snuggled further into the inventor's chest, grabbing his cardigan tightly.

"Then... Can we stay like this a bit longer, even if lunch break ends?"

The director's eyebrows raised in surprise. His concern only grew. He simply nodded, gently rubbing the blonde's hair, as he held him tightly.

"That sounds fine to me. Tell me when you want to go back to class, alright?"

He could feel Tsukasa's breathing getting a bit shaky. He nodded, as his head bent down. Rui softly kissed the top of his head, rubbing his back.

"It's alright, take deep breaths. I also have a bottle of water if you need to drink."

He felt the blonde head nodding again. His hand was shaking a bit too, losing a bit of its strength on Rui's cardigan. The director started to hum Tsukasa's lullaby, hoping that it would help the star to calm down a bit. 

All of a sudden, the bell rang. As Tsukasa asked, none of them moved. The star was slowly calming down in Rui's embrace in a comfortable silence. However, the director's mind was boiling. 

Tsukasa was way far away from feeling 'good'.

However, he also perfectly knew that he couldn't just force the words out of him. He had to be patient, to be there for him, to make him feel at ease. But the task was going to be hard if the star brutally convinced himself that Rui hated him. When those words came out of the star's lips, Rui hesitated to just scream.

'I almost died because of how much I loved you. How could I possibly hate you?'

But maybe that was also the issue. He almost died because of his feelings. Even if months had passed, both of them weren't totally moving on. Tsukasa's panic attack was only proof of it. He couldn't be certain on what happened precisely, but with the few pieces of information he gathered, he simply guessed that the blonde had experienced some kind of hallucination regarding Hanahaki Disease.

He was having nightmares, insomnia, and couldn't go back backstage, which was certainly the place where Tsukasa had discovered Rui's illness. Maybe that weird talk about the flowers at the hospital was because of it too, but he couldn't be really sure. It might simply be a really bad lack of sleep, but the odd behaviours kept on adding up. How long was it going to last? Could they really let the blonde like this?

"Tsukasa, do you want me to stay at your place tonight?"

The blonde brutally raised his head up. He avoided his stare, hesitating on his answer. Unfortunately, as Rui thought, the star declined the offer. 

Again...

Even if Kaito had reassured him about the reason Tsukasa didn't want them to sleep together, literally, it still felt like a shot in his heart. He wanted to directly ask the blonde the reason why he didn't want it that badly, but kept those thoughts to himself. He'll ask later, when the star will be calmer.

**

"Did anything appear in the SEKAI?"

Rui, Nene and Emu were together in the SEKAI, talking with Kaito and Luka. The girls were having a sleepover after rehearsal, and during Nene and Rui's conversation through the phone, he decided to join them to talk about Tsukasa's situation.

Maybe it wasn't a lot, maybe they were being worrywarts. But after everything that happened the past few months, they didn't want to wait for the final minute to take action. 

They didn't want to repeat the same mistakes.

After a long talk, it was already past midnight. However, they weren't finished yet. The three of them decided to join the SEKAI and talk about it with the Virtual Singers, leading to this current situation. Kaito brought his hand to his chin, unsure about his answer. He was about to respond, but got quickly cut off by Luka's sleepy voice.

"Nothing new appeared. They are the same flowers as always, I saw them when sleeping on Meiko's lap..."

The blue singer shyly smiled, rubbing his neck with an apologetic tone.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I don't actually pay a lot of attention to the SEKAI itself. I'm too busy to look after the plushies, my teammates or other activities. Miku was the one who told me about the sprout a few months ago."

"And you're sure that nothing weird appeared here, Luka?" Asked again Emu with a pout.

"I am. It's the same as usual." Smiled back the pink lady, her eyes closed.

"Hm... so maybe there is nothing at all...? But, his behaviour isn't normal. Something must be going on." Sighed Rui, staring at the ground with a pensive look. 

"With what you are saying, it doesn't seem to be linked to his true feelings. Or at least, they weren't the one who made this all situation" Started to explain Kaito with a serious tone. "The sprout appeared when he had Hanahaki Disease, but this illness is caused by feelings. However here, if his feelings aren't the origin of what is troubling him at the moment, it won't impact his SEKAI. I'm terribly sorry, really."

"But then what can we do...?" Retorted the diva with worry, looking back at her teammates next to her. 

"For now, simply stay with him and look after him as you are already doing. We can also see him more often if the situation is really troublesome. I can't really be certain of the seriousness before seeing Tsukasa myself. After all, what you are describing is... particular."

"Well... it wasn't that strange before." Tried to elaborate the director with his eyes full of worries. "I understood that... he was still having trouble moving on from what happened with Hanahaki Disease. I prefer to not... put any words to it before he tells me himself, but it's as you said before. We both went into something traumatic, and it's totally fair if Tsukasa has trouble moving on, and is still afraid..."

"You are too, Rui?" Suddenly asked the pink-haired girl with concern.

"Of course I am. I feel better, but it still is hard. And... maybe I overlooked Tsukasa's feelings, I don't really know. So... I was trying to be more careful about him. But now it's something totally different. Something doesn't seem right about him since I had heat exhaustion. I don't know how to put it, or... what makes me think it, but we all agree on that fact. And I'm afraid of it becoming worse. But at the same time, I don't know if we are simply overreacting because of what we all went through."

"Rui, he locked flowers outside a window and was convinced you were in the same class. Something surely is going on." Retorted the diva as she crossed her arms.

"It doesn't sound this strange... flowers can be noisy. " Added Luka with a small smile, half asleep.

"Flowers don't sing in our world even if that would be super Wonderhoy!!"

Kaito let a small sigh escape his lips, looking at the teen with a small smile. Rui could feel how he was trying his best to seem as reassuring as possible, but it was hard to make the director's knot inside his stomach ease.

"I know how you are all afraid and concerned about Tsukasa, but pressuring him on the matter won't be helpful either. You need to be patient, and I'm sure that he will be able to open up to you. Of course, it is better said than done, but I'm sure that you already do a lot for him without realising it."

'So you really hate me...?'

… Rui wasn't that sure anymore. He didn't want to neglect Tsukasa, but at the same time he had to leave the blonde some space. Maybe this was the reason why the star was avoiding sleeping together, to spend less time together? Brutally, he felt Kaito's hand on his shoulder, waking him up from his thoughts.

"I know what you are going to say...." Sighed the director with a small smile, looking at the ground.

"But it still stands." Retorted Kaito with confidence. "All of you are concerned about Tsukasa, but do not forget about yourselves as well. You can't look after someone in need if you are in bad shape. It is still possible to do so, but even more difficult-"

Kaito didn't have the time to elaborate further, Rui's phone suddenly rang. He quickly grabbed his phone in genuine confusion. He picked the call up with a deep breath, under the look of apprehension of the others. He wasn't met by any voice, but by quiet whimpers and sobs. He finally asked to the other person on the other end of the call, with a voice as soft as he could manage through his worry:

"Tsukasa, is everything alright?"

Chapter Text

The day had been awfully long. Tsukasa was laying down on his bed, yet again during a sleepless night. Even though that day had been exhausting, he was more than relieved to see Rui being discharged, and he seemed to be doing fine as well.

And yet, you still are running away.

He wasn't. He... hoped he wasn't. He would have been more than glad to see the director as soon as he was out, but... he couldn't go out.

They were waiting for him outside.

He would be attacked by that strange stalker if he stepped any foot outside, alone, even more at night... 

What kind of boyfriend is that ? That is disappointing. You didn't even see him when he needed you most. 

He sighed, trying to let his thoughts disappear. He needed to sleep, he was exhausted. He didn't have any proper sleep for ages. He closed his eyes, holding tightly on the Pegasus plush.

Blood, flowers... Rui's body falling on the ground, that unbearable pain inside his chest...

'R-Rui... he... he's not breathing...'

His eyes shot open brutally in panic. He saw it. Rui's limp body in his arms. He was... he was..

Rui couldn't breathe... because of the heat, or the flowers?

Did he show his love enough...?

He is sick because of you.

You're not doing enough for him.

…

Was Rui... real?

He quickly shook his head. It was simply a nightmare. Rui was real. He saw him- he was with him that day. They ate together... They talked about the script... He said how he didn't hate him...

They weren't lies... right?

He didn't hate him, right...? He said it. It had to be true-

How could he love someone like you ?

His head was a full mess. His thoughts couldn't stop piling on top of one another. He just wanted them to shut down, to let him take some rest.

It was the first time he begged for silence.

However despite his pleads, his insistent thoughts weren't able to be stopped.

He felt his heartbeat accelerating, as it became harder to breathe. Why was it so hard to even breathe...? He brutally felt his cheeks getting wet, as he brought his hand to his face. 

How pathetic. A star shouldn't cry. Why are you even sobbing? 

Nothing bad happened.

Everything was fine now... 

Everyone was fine...

Before he realised it, his phone was ringing against his ear.

He tried to make his sobbing more silent, holding tightly the plush against his chest. The room was starting to spin around him, getting suffocating. It felt too warm, and yet his body was trembling as if he was freezing to death. He had to try to sleep- his eyelids were so heavy, and yet he couldn't fall asleep. He was exhausted. Was it really insomnia, or was he too afraid to even fall asleep?

After all, each time he closed his eyes, he would see Rui coughing blood and flowers, dropping dead on the ground. Or it would be himself suffocating to death-

"Tsukasa, is everything alright?"

The blonde gasped, almost hanging up. He forgot how he had called Rui, finding himself being surprised by his own actions. He took a few deep breaths, while his other arm was holding tightly the plush against his chest. The star quickly recollected his thoughts, nodding to the director's question. He brutally realised how Rui wouldn't be able to see his answer, and forced his shivering voice out:

"Y-yes... I'm fine."

"Are you sure? It's past midnight, are you having insomnia?" Asked the purple-haired boy, with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I am fine. I... just wanted to hear your voice."

"You really aren't a good liar when you don't put your heart into it." Softly retorted the alchemist, making the star jolt in surprise. "But it's alright, really. Do you need anything? You didn't just want to hear my voice, right?"

The star hesitated, thinking about his answer.

Why did he call him?

It was stupid...

'I wanted to make sure that you were real.' what kind of answer was that-

"Oya? I pretty much am."

Tsukasa screamed, quickly muffling his mouth with his hand to not wake his family up. He heard the other chuckle a bit on the other side. Did he just say his thoughts out loud?

"Sorry to have shaken you. I'll be on my way."

"W-what way?"

"The one to your house of course. I'll be here shortly."

Tsukasa brutally sat on his bed, feeling his heartbeat accelerating. Rui must not come, even less alone- 

He's going to get hurt by that stalker outside.

"Please don't!" Pleaded the blonde with his shaking voice.

"It's alright really."

"N-no it's not! I... I can manage. Really don't..."

"Tsukasa." Suddenly uttered the director, sounding commanding and yet comforting. "I assure you, it's alright. I don't want to let you alone when you aren't fine. You don't really enjoy loneliness anyway, right? I'll soon be here, don't worry."

"I... it's not that..." Tried to explain the blonde, finding his own words stuck into his throat. "Besides, you're going to wake my family up..."

"Don't worry, I'll just go through the passageway."

"Of course I- Wait, which passageway? What did you do to my house?!" Brutally asked the blonde, quickly muffling his mouth once again as he realised how his voice raised.

"Hehe~ I got my way. Anyway, I'll be right back. See you, my star."

Before the blonde could complain, Rui hung up. The star stared with widened eyes at his phone screen, as panic began to take over. The director was going to get hurt because of him, again... He wanted to get up, to run outside to reach the inventor. But his limbs were trembling atrociously. Why couldn't he even move...?

What a coward, unfitted of a star.

Why did Rui even hang up this brutally? Why did he not stay on the phone longer during his walk? Did Tsukasa want that...? What did he want? Was it to make sure that he was alright during his walk, or to continue to hear his voice...?

He had no idea how much time had passed. He was simply sitting on his bed, staring with empty eyes at the black screen of his phone. Brutally, he heard something knock at his window. The blonde jumped in surprise, almost screaming out. He stared at the curtains in terror, afraid to even open them. However, the knocking continued, forcing the blonde to finally take action. Slowly, he reached the curtain and opened it with a lot of hesitation.

He was met with a smirk.

Rui was standing in front of his window. He was looking like a stray cat begging for food. Tsukasa immediately jumped out of his bed, and opened to the poor director. He chuckled, entering the star's room, carefully removing his shoes. As soon as the blonde closed the window behind him, the star cupped his face in panic, mixed with anger.

"What were you thinking?! Was that the 'passageway' that you talked about?! You could have been hurt! Did you climb to my window? How did you even do that?! You can't do exercises! I hope you didn't run-"

"Shh it's alright, I promise that I was careful." Reassured the director, softly putting his hand over the star's. "For the climbing part, should I remind you how I used to perform illegally on the park's property? By which means did I do that~?"

"That... isn't something you should be proud of." Uttered the blonde with a pout, making the other softly giggle.

"And yet it all went according to plan. You can't deny that this activity helped me develop a lot of skills. One of them allowed me to save my prince in distress."

Tsukasa felt his cheek get redder by that sudden statement. He sighed, looking away. Suddenly, he felt Rui cupping his face, as his thumbs were delicately rubbing his cheekbones and right under his eyes. Rui's teasing look turned into a concerned one.

"As I thought, you really were crying..."

The blonde jumped in surprise, immediately turning away. He quickly wiped his own face, noticing at the same time how his tears didn't fully dry yet. 

"Ah- I wasn't! It's nothing-"

"Tsukasa." Suddenly uttered Rui with a calm tone, holding one of the blonde's hands. "Don't tell me it's 'nothing'. Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

Rui frowned as soon as he heard those words. Before the blonde could realise it, the director took him in his arms, hugging him softly. Tsukasa could feel as if his breathing stopped by the sudden action, unsure on what to do. He simply stood still, while feeling Rui's hand gently rubbing his scalp.

"It's not 'nothing'. You were crying. You can tell me if something happened, or if anything is troubling you. We are all really worried about you, you know?"

"But... It's stupid..." Murmured the star, resting his head against Rui's shoulder.

He suddenly felt the director's warmth leaving him. Rui gently cupped his face once again, staring at him with comforting eyes and a soft smile.

"Don't say that. It's not stupid at all. I'll be here to listen, always. And the others too. So if you need to talk about it, just do so, alright? I won't force you if you don't want to, but don't hold yourself back, please."

Tsukasa avoided his stare. He finally sighed and nodded. He suddenly felt warm lips against his forehead, while the hand cupping his face went slowly down to take his hand instead.

"Good. I'll quickly change to sleep. Do you want me to sleep on the couch?"

The blonde jolted in surprise at that question. Why would Rui ask that?

Because he is repulsed by you.

"Tsukasa ?"

The blonde jumped out of his thoughts at the sound of Rui's voice, realising how he was tightly grabbing the director's cloth. He felt his eyes starting to water once again. He had no idea why, maybe he was just too exhausted, making himself too sensitive. He suddenly sank his face in the other's chest, not releasing his grip. He heard the director's surprise, while he was still hiding his pitiful face. They waited a bit like this, as he could feel the director's hand back on his head, stroking his hair gently. His other hand was softly rubbing his back in small circles, pushing him further against his own chest.

As selfish as it sounded, Tsukasa felt... safe.

He felt his heartbeat slowing down, immersed into the director's sweet scent. Did he even wear perfume, or was it simply the scent of his washing powder? In any case, it felt comforting, and soft. Being in the director's arms was certainly one of the places he preferred to be. Anywhere where his lover would be actually. Rui must have guessed that he wouldn't have proper answers by the blonde, and proceeded to lead the conversation.

"Do you prefer if I stay with you in bed ? Is it alright with you?"

The blonde immediately nodded, as his mind seemed to drift away.

He felt Rui softly kissing the top of his head, moving some strand of hair behind his ear.

"Alright, let's do that then. I'll quickly change."

Noticing how the star didn't move at his statement, Rui gently pushed him away from the embrace. However, he was met with some resistance, as the blonde didn't want to let go. He heard the director sigh, cupping his face to force the star to look at him. Rui was smiling softly, speaking in a murmur. 

"Tsukasa, I need to change. I don't think you'll appreciate me sleeping in your bed with outside clothes. I'll be quick, alright?"

The blonde finally nodded silently again, stepping a bit back to let Rui move. He sat on the bed, feeling cold without the other's warmth. He glanced at the director, who was indeed changing quickly. The star's breath brutally stopped as soon as the alchemist removed his shirt. It lasted for a few seconds before Rui wore his change of cloth, but Tsukasa saw them.

The two large scars on his chest. 

Even if his room was pretty dark, only lightened by the pegasus' night light, he could distinguish them. Of course, such scars wouldn't be able to fade away, no matter how much time had passed. Rui was marked to life, both of them knew it, but it was as if the blonde forgot each time. Did the director move on from it? Did he feel ashamed of them? Did he wish that they would disappear?

He has to bear them because of your incompetence.

Look at what you have done to him. And you pretend to love him?

No matter how far you run, you can't escape the guilt.

Suddenly, he felt two cold hands cupping his face again, waking him up from his thoughts. He moved his eyes upwards, looking with an unfocused stare at the director in front of him.

"I am ready. Now let's go to bed, shall we?"

He simply nodded, keeping his voice trapped into his tight throat. He lay down on the bed while letting a space for the other. Rui followed quickly, lying down on the sheets. Tsukasa crawled back to the purple-haired boy, returning in his arms. He snuggled against the inventor's chest as he wrapped his arms around his waist. He heard Rui softly chuckled, hugging him back with a few kisses on the top of his head. His hand returned on his golden locks, stroking them carefully. Just as before, the blonde felt his heartbeat slowing down, letting himself melt into the touches. A small silence took place, which could have made the blonde fall asleep. However, his eyes were still opened. He still couldn't sleep. He wasn't really looking into anything, he was simply enjoying the inventor's sweet attention. He suddenly heard the taller boy's voice, still quiet to not wake up the blonde's family.

"How are you feeling, my star?"

Tsukasa snuggled against Rui's neck with a content sigh, tightening his hold.

"Better." Replied the blonde, with more strength than before.

"I'm glad to hear that. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

The blonde hesitated again, looking down. He tightened his grip, hiding his face into the other's chest. 

"… It's stupid..."

"Tsukasa I told you, it isn't." Retorted immediately Rui, sliding his hand from his hair to his cheek, forcing the blonde to meet his stare. "I'm here to listen, I won't judge if it is what scares you. If it makes you feel this bad, I'm sure that it is far from being stupid."

"But... I'm a star." Tried to explain the blonde with a frown, as his voice was starting to get louder. "I have to be strong, not... weak and miserable. Everything's fine, I..."

"Tsukasa, it's fine to feel that way." Uttered calmly the inventor, crawling down on the bed to be at the same eye level as the other. "Sometimes you feel at the top of the world, sometimes beneath it. Sometimes we overreact, or not enough. This is just how complex our feelings are. You should know that, right? And in any case, how you feel isn't a shame at all. You aren't miserable or weak, you are human, even if you are the brightest of all stars. So you don't have to feel ashamed about any of this. If you want to talk about it, you can. Don't hold yourself back because you think it's stupid, I promise it isn't."

Tsukasa felt his eyes water again at those words. 

You really don't deserve him.

He quickly hid his face with his hand, as it became harder to breathe. Rui didn't move it away, he simply waited patiently. After a few minutes, Tsukasa began to talk through his sniffles. 

"I-I had a nightmare..."

"A nightmare?" Retorted Rui, surprised.

"I told you it was stupid."

"No it isn't." Immediately reassured the director, softly cupping one side of the blonde's face to wipe his tears away. "You did tell me that you have frequent nightmares these days. Was it one of them? Do you remember what happened in it?"

Tsukasa began to shake as soon as he heard those words, as images of his nightmares ran inside his head. As soon as Rui noticed it, he wrapped his arms around the blonde, hugging him.

"I'm sorry, it's alright if you don't want to talk about it-"

"Y-you... were dead..." Brutally answered the blonde with a broken voice.

Rui jolted in surprise, moving slightly away to be able to look at the blonde's face.

"Y-you were... limp in my arms... w-with blood and flowers... and... and I..."

"Shh..." Softly whispered the director, kissing his forehead. "Everything's fine. I'm right here, safe and sound, just like you."

Tsukasa nodded violently, almost breaking his neck in the process. Rui's thumb was carefully wiping his heavy tears away, even if more came running down his cheeks. The blonde was firmly holding the director's shirt, as if he was about to fall, or as if the other would run away from him. His thoughts were in complete disarray.

"Y-you were coughing and... And you fell down before me... t-then you weren't breathing... Y-you were cold and... covered in blood and... A-and then I... I couldn't breathe either and... and I felt as if my chest was being torn apart... A-and I... didn't know what to do... and I-!" Tsukasa was still whimpering about what happened, while his body couldn't stop shaking. 

Rui was listening carefully, still kissing softly his forehead. His lips slowly went downwards on his cheeks, kissing his tears away. The room was so loud, with voices whispering endlessly into Tsuaksa's ears, his chest was hurting, his body was burning up... It was too much. Within that chaos, he heard the director's soft voice, just like a ray of light in a dark cellar.

"That sounds terrifying. No wonder how shaken you are... But it's alright, everything's fine now. You're not alone. Try to breathe deeply, alright?"

"I- I can't..." Brutally answered the blonde as he shook his head. "There are f-flowers-"

"There aren't any flowers, I promise." Retorted Rui, cupping the blonde face with two hands. "Tsukasa, everything's fine now. It was a nightmare. You're healed."

"B-but it hurts-"

"I know, which is why you have to breathe deeply, alright? Do it for me, please. One, and two... just like this." Calmly explained the director with a calm tone despite his nervousness.

He was suffocating.

He had to take those petals out.

You're going to die.

Tsukasa brutally grabbed his shirt with one hand, as he started hitting his own chest violently to make himself cough. Rui immediately sat up and held the wrist which was hurting the blonde, while his other hand was still cupping softly the his cheek. Tsukasa was still lying down on the bed, tears flowing down his face.

"Tsukasa, look at me." Suddenly commanded Rui with a serious tone. "I'm right here, focus on me and only me."

The blonde struggled to keep his eyes on the director. He tried to get his hand free, but the inventor was holding it strongly.

Why was he holding his hand like this...?

"Tsukasa, please look at me. I'm right here. Everything's fine. You are safe. I promise." Repeated the alchemist, rubbing softly his cheekbone.

"I-it hurts... I can't breathe-"

"It's going to be alright. Take deep breaths and look at me, only focus on me, please. I won't let you."

His vision was blurry, but he didn't know if it was because of the tears or something else. When his eyes were at least a bit more focused, Rui murmured back the slow counting, still rubbing softly his cheekbone to wipe his tears.

"Just like this. One... and two..."

Tsukasa continued to follow Rui's gentle voice. He felt the director's hold on his wrist fading away, as it came back to hold the other side of his face. He was gasping for air, but the more time passed, the easier it get to breathe. He felt once again the director's warm lips against his forehead, encouraging him. 

After a few minutes which felt like eternity, the blonde finally calmed down. Rui quickly got up from the bed to get tissues from his desk, and went back to sit down next to the blonde who was now sitting as well. Tsukasa wiped his face and blew his nose, while Rui was slowly rubbing his back in small circles.

"Are you feeling better?" Asked the director with a murmur.

Tsukasa nodded, and suddenly asked with a mumble:

"Trashcan and hand sanitizer, please..."

Rui's eyes widened at the sudden request, and giggled.

"Alright, you definitely are feeling better, my little star~"

The director got up from the bed again, taking the specific items. The blonde didn't lose any time to throw the tissues away and to clean his hands with the hand sanitizer. As soon as those actions were done, both of them lay down, while Tsukasa snuggled back into the director's arms with a sigh. Rui's hand was back at caressing his head. The star brutally felt shame taking over him, as he thought about what just happened. He hid his face into the crook of Rui's neck with a groan.

"Sorry... forget that it ever happened."

"Oya?" Retorted Rui in surprise. "Tsukasa I told you, it's alright. You don't have to be embarrassed about it."

Tsukasa simply sighed, not entirely satisfied. It was embarrassing for a star. He shouldn't lose his temper or crack like this. He was bright, strong-

"As a matter of fact, I'm worried about you."

Tsukasa's eyes widened, staring at Rui with confusion and surprise. The alchemist was smiling, but his grin was filled with bittersweetness. He softly cupped his face again, carefully caressing it as if Tsukasa was the most precious and fragile thing on earth.

"I love you, Tsukasa, deeply. And these days you don't look fine at all. I'm not the only one who noticed and who is worried. We all are. So please, don't feel ashamed about this. Don't hide this, just tell us when you'll be ready to talk about it. If you feel like going through a breakdown, let me know, or even Saki, or Nene- anyone. Let us now. We're all here for you, alright?"

The blonde nodded, but his confusion wasn't really eased. He looked to the side, and answered with a more calm voice:

"But... the thing is, everything's alright."

"Tsukasa, I just told you to not lie about how you feel-"

"I'm serious." Insisted the blonde with a slight frown. "I... feel fine?"

"… You just went into a breakdown, that isn't what I call 'fine'..."

"This was an accident!" Explained the blonde, crossing his arms. "I got carried away. I don't understand what took over me either."

"Tsukasa-"

"But really Rui, I'm fine." Uttered the blonde, kissing softly the director's cheek. 

The director simply sighed, not entirely convinced. Tsukasa snuggled into the hug, kissing sweetly Rui's neck. It was certainly an attempt to make the purple-haired boy think of something else, but it was also a genuine touch of affection. After all, his boyfriend was always there to cuddle him, kiss him... It was only natural to return the favor. He heard the alchemist quiet sigh, as he was still stroking his golden air. The blonde's lips arrived at his jaw, then to his chin, and finally to Rui's lips. It was a slow and tender kiss. The alchemist wrapped his arms around the blonde's shoulders, while Tsukasa's hands were travelling under his shirt. He felt Rui shivering at the sensation, making the star giggle.

"Does it tickle?"

"A bit." Smiled the alchemist, chasing back the star's lips.

Rui's lips were softer than usual, probably thanks to the chapstick that Tsukasa gave him a few weeks ago. The star got lost in the kiss, crawling on top of Rui as he grabbed his face softly. The blonde had no idea what time it was already, and started to feel bad for making Rui stay up this late. He would have loved to deepen the kiss, but considering how late it already was, maybe that was a bit too selfish. Their lips finally separated, allowing the couple to catch their breath. Tsukasa didn't lose any time and snuggled back into the alchemist's neck with a content sigh. Rui went back to gently stroke his hair. However, the blonde noticed how his movements were slower than before. He raised his eyes, and noticed how Rui was starting to doze off. He softly smiled, crawling up into the bed, allowing the director to snuggle into his neck instead, switching their position. The alchemist quickly wrapped his arms around the blonde with a quiet mumble. Tsukasa softly patted his head, whispering:

"Thank you for coming, and sorry for making you stay awake this late... Sleep well, sweetheart."

He felt Rui jolt into his arms at this pet name, making the blonde smile. A little silence took place between them. Tsukasa softly kissed the top of Rui's head, the same way that the director did for him.

He was so sweet, so adorable.

He couldn't help but smile at that realisation. The blonde closed his eyes, trying himself to get some sleep. However, he suddenly heard a muffled voice in his chest. He carefully moved Rui's strand of hair away from his sleepy face, and asked with a whisper:

"Excuse me, did you say anything?"

"I wanted to ask you something." Retorted Rui with a quiet voice. "You avoid sleeping together like this these days... Can I know the reason why?  Did I make you uncomfortable...?"

"O-oh..." Uttered back Tsukasa, softly playing with the purple hair. "It's nothing like that. I'm... sorry if I made you think that. But it has nothing to do with you."

"Hm... so there's a reason after all."

The blonde carefully moved on the bed to reach Rui's face. He gently cupped it, and kissed him. The director's eyes widened in surprise, but he let himself melt into the touch. Tsukasa broke the kiss after a few seconds, and sighed.

"It's... a bit embarrassing. But I don't want you to overthink this, so... I suppose it should be best if I'm honest with you. After all, it's a pity for a star such as myself to make my director worry for such trivial things."

Rui silently listened to him, resting his chin against his collarbone.

"It's... well you know... I really enjoy spending the night with you. I mean, no, I love it even. And... It's also the reason why I wanted to... do that less."

"Hm...?" Rui slowly tilted his head to the side, looking at the blonde with confusion and half opened eyes due to his fatigue.

Tsukasa softly chuckled, patting Rui's sleepy head.

"What I mean is... because I enjoy this time with you, I... was also afraid. Not of spending time with you, but to get too used to it. Each time we simply cuddle and fall asleep together, I feel at peace, and... with butterflies inside my stomach! Because you make me so happy. Since it's the first time that I ever felt this way I... I'm scared. And... I thought that if we kept on doing that every single night, it would become too normal, and we'd lose that feeling. I... was afraid of becoming bored of it. I didn't really know how to properly deal with it so... I prefer to look away. I'm sorry."

"I see, that does make sense." Retorted nonchalantly Rui

Suddenly, the alchemist raised his head to kiss the blonde's neck, leaving a love bite. The sensation made the other shiver by surprise, holding tightly on Rui's shirt. Then, the director asked with his quiet voice:

"How did it feel? Did you enjoy it?"

"O-oh...? It felt great, and I did-"

"We do that a lot, right? We kiss a lot, cuddle a lot, and see each other everyday." Started to question the director, leaving sloppy kisses along the blonde's jaw. "Are you getting bored of them? Are they starting to feel less enjoyable?"

"H-hm... not really... It still feels the same." Hesitated the blonde, feeling Rui's warm lips against his cheek.

"This is exactly the same here. And even if you get used to it, is it that bad? Would it feel less nice? Besides, our relationship just began, we still have a lot of things to do, to discover and to experience together. It's normal to be afraid, I... am too. But we are together, and we'll go through this together, learning together. This is why we need to communicate and to be honest with each other." Softly smiled the inventor, intertwining their fingers. "I want to stay with you. Of course, not necessary every each second of the day, even if that wouldn't bother me the slightest~ Who wouldn't love to spend their entire existence with a king as bright, if not more as the stars~?"

Tsukasa giggled with a blush creeping on his cheeks. They shared a short kiss once again, then the alchemist snuggled back into the blonde's chest. The blonde patted once again his head, with a small sigh.

"Thank you Rui. And sorry for making you worry about this..."

"It's alright, thank you for being honest with me." Murmured back the director, wrapping his arms around the other's waist. "Now let's get some sleep... is it fine with you?"

"It is." Reassured the blonde, closing his eyes himself. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

He heard Rui softly chuckle, as he let himself fall asleep.

**

Tsukasa wasn't fine.

Despite what he affirmed to Rui, it didn't make sense, and the director perfectly knew it. His eyes were still opened, as he could hear the blonde snoring, indicating that he had finally fallen asleep. It was certainly about 2am, maybe already 3am. The alchemist was recollecting everything that just happened, as his mind was spiralling. He never saw the star in such distress, and it was becoming worse. His mood was changing way too quickly, he had two breakdowns in such a short period of time, and then acted as if nothing happened.

'But... the thing is, everything's alright.'

How could he say that? It wasn't. He wasn't fine at all. He even admitted to the director a few minutes before denying it again. Rui knew how good Tsukasa was at acting, masking his emotions, but he also knew the blonde like the back of his hand. He knew when something was wrong- 

But what was bothering him was the blonde's look when he had uttered those words. It was the same stare back at school, or at the hospital.

He wasn't lying. He was convinced.

Rui had a bad feeling growing inside his stomach. He couldn't let the star like this, and the others shared the same opinion.

If Tsukasa wouldn't take any action, they probably need to do something about it, to help the blonde.

But...

Rui gasped at the sudden realisation.

Was Tsukasa even aware of his own situation?

Chapter Text

Rui woke up, feeling the ray of light coming from the thin gaps in the curtains. He lazily opened his eyes, realising that he was in Tsukasa's arms. He brutally remembered what happened the night before, making his stomach twist. He quickly recollected his thoughts, and carefully moved away from the blonde's arms. Tsukasa was still asleep, snoring as usual. The director softly chuckled, leaving a peck on his forehead. He quickly checked the time, it was almost 7am. Even if school started at 8am, he figured that he could let the blonde sleep a bit more considering his lack of sleep as of late. He carefully got up from the bed, and prepared himself. As soon as he was ready, he went downstairs to prepare breakfast and Tsukasa's lunch. After all, the blonde would only need to dress up and to eat, letting him sleep a bit more.

The director knew their kitchen like the back of his hand. Not because he used it frequently, but because he would always look at the star when he was cooking. While he was preparing breakfast, he was suddenly surprised by his own energy. After all, Rui would be the first one to lazily cuddle the blonde and cry when they'd had to get up. He was by no means a morning person. In that sense, both of them were completely opposite. Tsukasa would cry for them to go to sleep at 9pm, while Rui would be the one complaining when they had to get up. This realisation made him softly chuckle. But now, the circumstances were different. His dear star needed to rest, and for that purpose, the director would do anything to help.

As he was lost in thought, he heard a few steps approaching. He quickly raised his head, ready to greet the star. To his surprise, it wasn't the blonde, but Saki, who was also in her school uniform. She didn't seem surprised to see him, even if he barged in by Tsukasa's window in the middle of the night. He simply greeted her, as he took a box from the counter to prepare the blonde's lunch.

"Good morning Saki. I hope that you slept well."

"Good morning to you too Rui, and I did, thank you!" Smiled back the twintail girl as she prepared her own breakfast. "I hope that you were able to get some sleep despite coming this late."

Rui jolted at that specific sentence, stopping his action to look at the pianist with a confused stare. Her smile was sad, as she glanced at her big brother's room.

"I heard him scream last night. I went to check what was going on, and I saw both of you..."

"Oh... sorry for the intrusion-"

"No, thank you." Cut the blonde with a short sigh. "It must have been really hard and exhausting to take care of Tsukasa at that moment. So... Thank you."

Rui's mind was blowing with endless questions. He quickly shook his head, and immediately asked with a murmur, to not wake up the star upstairs.

"I wanted to ask... did you notice something about Tsukasa as well? Is he acting strangely at home too?"

Saki's smile dropped. She slowly nodded, her eyes drowning in worries.

"It happened suddenly..." Began to explain the younger sibling, getting some supplies to prepare her lunch. "When you were hospitalised for your heat exhaustion, it's as if he just... shut down. I never saw him like this... And I don't know how to feel about it. Since then, his mood changes quickly, and..."

"He's speaking nonsense?" Added Rui, bringing his head to his chin.

"Yes!" Retorted Saki, pointing at the TV. "The other day, he was convinced that the journalists could read his thoughts, and were staring at him. I thought that he was joking or... I don't even know. But he was extremely anxious, so I turned off the TV."

Apart from her testimony which added to the pile of Tsukasa's weird behaviour, a word caught Rui's attention.

'He was convinced.'

Rui wasn't an expert in medical care, but...

Was Tsukasa...?

All of a sudden, he felt two arms wrapping his waist from behind, making him jump in surprise. A head rested itself in the crook of his neck, as he felt sloppy kisses on his nape. He softly chuckled, rubbing softly the knuckles of the hands around him.

"Good morning my star~"

Tsukasa snuggled against his neck, mumbling a sleepy 'good morning' in response. The director's attention turned back to Saki, who hid her worry behind a small smile.

"I'll keep you informed on the situation." Suddenly said the inventor with a nod.

"Hmm? What were you both talking about?" Asked the blonde with a loud yawn.

"One of Saki's classmates lost their dog." Lied the inventor with a smirk. "She was asking me if I knew anything since it is in my neighbourhood. I'll be careful to look after their pet if I find it, and make sure it will be alright."

Saki immediately understood where Rui was going, and nodded with a smile.

"Thank you so much Rui. I really hope that their dog will be alright!"

Rui smiled back, feeling Tsukasa snuggling against his neck. He turned around to try to take a look at his boyfriend who was still extremely sleepy. He chuckled at this sight, patting softly on his head.

"Do you want to go back to bed? Maybe you should skip school today to sleep instead." Suggested Saki with a small grin.

The blonde shook his head with a loud yawn, sinking it deeper into the other's neck. Rui couldn't help but feel his heartbeat accelerate. He would lie if he affirmed to not appreciate that show of affection but...

Tsukasa wasn't a bit... embarrassed to do that now with his sister around? Rui didn't have any siblings, so he had no idea if this was normal or not. Judging by Saki neutral's expression or small smile, it didn't seem to make her feel uncomfortable. He simply followed along, turning his head around to leave small pecks on the blonde's head. He felt the star's smile against his nape, as he finally let go of the embrace. Rui was about to sit down at the table, but Tsukasa stopped him with a teasing smirk. Then, he stood on his tip toe and kissed the director's lips. It was a small kiss, surprising the director by the bold attitude. Tsukasa giggled at his expression, and proceeded to sit down. He crossed his arms, forcing a false pout on his face.

"I didn't get my 'good morning kiss'!"

The alchemist chuckled at this complaint, sitting down next to the blonde. He softly kissed his cheek, and apologised with a sweet tone.

"Oh my! How unforgivable of me. My deepest apologies my dear prince~"

He saw Tsukasa's cheeks burning at that backfire, as he simply tried to keep his composure with a loud and proud laugh.

"Ha ha ha! You better be!"

"Enough now you two!" Suddenly retorted Saki, pushing Tsukasa's breakfast towards him. "If you want to go to school, you should eat before getting late! Kisses and flirting comes after!"

The blonde brutally gasped as his face turned even redder, drowning in excuses and eagerly took his bowl and began to eat. Rui wasn't any better, mumbling excuses while his mind had exploded from that call out. Tsukasa seemed back to normal despite the black circles under his eyes. The three of them ate in a comfortable silence, sometimes broken by small chit chat. After a while, the blonde quickly grabbed the two boxes for their future lunch, and grabbed an extra one from the closet.

"There! You need your lunch as well, Rui!"

"Tsukasa, I was doing my own lunch, I can do it-!" pouted Saki, trying to get back her lunchbox.

"I refuse! That is a duty as a big brother to prepare your lunch!"

The sister softly giggled at his loud voice, while the blonde was happily preparing the lunches. He was humming as well, wrapping the box with a cloth.

As soon as the three of them were ready, they went back to school.

**

"You... as Alice?" Uttered Nene, a bit confused.

The day to school had been long, exhausting, but now it was finally the time to practice again. Tsukasa was looking forward to it, to expose the changes of script he had with Rui the day before. Furthermore after rehearsal, Emu was going to walk back home with him to finally get their lessons to compose music with his dearest sister and brother- or should he say Toya! That was announcing a good day, even if it was tiring.

After all, he didn't have a proper sleep that night. His memory was a bit foggy regarding it, but he still remembered what happened. He couldn't help but feel ashamed, he just wanted to erase that experience from his mind, and to make it disappear from Rui's as well. Breaking down in front of your boyfriend... that was unfitting of a star!

Furthermore, why did you even break down?

He shook his thoughts off, explaining the script to his teammates.

"After a talk with Rui, we figured that I could be Alice instead. Nene could be the Caterpillar, and Emu the Cheshire Cat! Hmm.. Or Nene could be the Queen of Hearts, since we lack one."

"What about Rui?" Suddenly asked Emu, bouncing from left to right due to her excessive energy.

"I was thinking about the White Rabbit!" Affirmed happily the blonde with a proud smirk.

"Oya~? May I know the reason why?" Retorted Rui with surprise.

"Since you won't perform, you'll control a robot, right? Maybe you could build a White Rabbit, and control it!"

"Oya~ That is interesting indeed." Smiled back the director, leaning against the blonde's shoulder to look at the script. "Since we are on the topic, I would like to share a suggestion."

The three of them turned their stare towards the alchemist, inviting him silently to elaborate.

"May I also be the Mad Hatter?"

Tsukasa instantly frowned, feeling his stomach twist. Before Rui could explain further, the blonde shut him off with his loud voice:

"Rui, we talked about it and you won't perform on our next show. It was the deal! We can redo that show later if you want, but-"

"I know I know, let me explain. I promise that if it is too uncomfortable for you, I won't do it. I want to have all of your opinions on that idea before doing anything." Retorted the alchemist with an apologetic look.

"I want to hear what Rui's idea is!" Suddenly uttered Emu with her bright smile, making the other softly sigh and nod reluctantly.

"In the tale, Alice meets the Mad Hatter during a tea party, right? Maybe I could act while sitting down. It would be the same as backstage, but on stage instead. I can work on prototypes to make the tea party more lively, as if it was really out of the tale. Depending on the weather, I could sing too, but I promise that I won't dance or move too much. I'll mostly rely on the props."

"Oh! Just like the show we watched at my place?!" Brutally retorted the pink-haired girl with enthusiasm.

"Exactly." Confirmed the alchemist with a smile. "But only if our dear star allows it. I understand if you don't want me to be on stage at all."

Tsukasa frowned, thinking about his suggestion. He wasn't completely wrong, even more considering the fact that Rui was already working on some air conditioner kind of machine to make the stage colder. But...

It wasn't only because of the heat, and he perfectly knew it too. If it wasn't the heat, it would have been something else. What if Rui overworks himself again...

The blonde sighed, not entirely sure. Why was he the one to make the final decision? He had Rui's life within his hands. Once again.

Just like last time, when he saved both their lives.

His life was in his hands.

His life was in your hands.

Your lives are in your hands.

Yours alone.

Always.

"Tsukasa?"

He brutally jumped out of his thoughts, giggling awkwardly.

"Don't answer right now, it's alright." Suddenly reassured the diva, patting his shoulder gently. "You don't have the final word, we'll take that decision together, alright?"

The blonde's eyes widened at this sentence, and simply nodded silently. They decided to leave this talk on-hold, and began to practice instead. Since the three other's roles were settled, the three of them read their lines under the director's stare, trying to figure out their own characters. Tsukasa felt as if he was able to breathe again, even if the sun was burning him alive. He was making sure to drink plenty of water to not hurt himself, and doing his absolute best as always.

Rui was lovely staring at him. Examining each of his words and intonations. Well, he was mostly doing his work as a director, but Tsukasa always felt weak under his gaze. This time, it genuinely felt nice, reassuring, comforting...

"Maybe you could jump at this line." Suddenly suggested Rui, getting closer to the blonde. "It will add more surprise to the spectator with the brutal change of atmosphere."

The blonde happily nodded, writing down on his script the sudden change. The director quickly turned around to see the girls, adding his comments to them as well. The star took a deep breath, continuing to practice his role.

All of a sudden, his blood turned cold.

He saw them.

A few metres away, hidden behind trees. A tall shadow was staring at him.

It was them, that stalker who had been following him endlessly these days.

The star noticed something shining in their hand.

His eyes widened in shock.

A knife.

He began to hyperventilate, while the other was still staring at him.

"Tsukasa? Are you alright?"

The blonde brutally gasped, turning around. He jumped on Rui in panic, holding tightly on his clothes.

"We have to get out of here!" Suddenly, the blonde screamed, trembling against the director's surprised stare. "Th-they're here-"

"What? Who's here? Where?" Asked Nene in confusion, getting closer to the blonde.

"T-they're right here-!" The blonde pointed out towards the trees, and froze.

They were gone.

Where did they go ?

They're coming for you.

They're coming to kill you.

Tsukasa screamed in panic, feeling his legs getting weak from anxiety. He felt Rui's hand wraping him gently, trying to help him stand up.

"Tsukasa it's going to be alright. Tell us who it is-"

"It's not!" Shouted out the blonde, feeling as if his heart was going to explode due to how fast it was beating inside his fragile ribcage. "I- I'm going to die-"

The director gently cupped his face, forcing the blonde to look at him.

"Tsukasa, who are they? Do you know what they want from you?"

"I- I don't know-" Cried the blonde, feeling his brutal anxiety take over him.

Rui wrapped his arms around the trembling star in a protective manner. Nene and Emu were looking around them, searching for that strange individual.

"It's going to be alright, we're with you! They won't lay a finger on you!" Claimed the pink-haired girl, getting closer to the two boys

Tsukasa couldn't hear anything. He was shaking, feeling the world collapse under his feet.

He had to get out of here.

They are coming.

Closer.

"Tsu-"

"I have to get out- I have to- I-"

Before Rui could stop him, the blonde brutally pushed him away to let go of his grasp. The director instantly reached out his hand, but it was too late. Tsukasa ran off the stage, disappearing from sight. Rui was about to run after him, but a hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. He brutally turned around, seeing Nene's desperate look, holding on dear life on his arm. Before he could say anything, he saw Emu jumping out of the stage, screaming out before disappearing from sight.

"I'll catch him!"

Rui tried to get off Nene in panic, while the diva was trying her hardest to keep him still.

"Rui, stop!"

"Nene you have to let me go! I have to stay by his side-"

"You can't run!" Suddenly uttered Nene as she raised her voice.

Rui jumped in surprise at the brutal loud tone, and stopped. He turned around, finally looking at his friend.

Nene's eyes were teary.

She bit her lip, trying to not let her tears fall. Rui instantly felt his heart shatter at that sight, and lowered his head in shame. The quiet, yet trembling voice of the gamer reached his ears, bringing him back into reality.

"Rui, Emu got this. Please, trust her."

"I do... It's just that-"

"I know. You are worried, but we all are. I know that you don't mean it, but... stop taking care of it yourself. Rely on us, please." Nene gently pulled Rui's hand towards herself, cupping it with her soft and small palms. "We know how it ended up last time when one of you wanted to take care of the issue on his own. You aren't the only one worried, or affected by what is going on. I don't want to see Tsukasa and you dragging each other down again... So please. Let Emu take care of this. She'll contact us as soon as this is settled. We'll join them then, alright? For now, let's help how we can."

Rui took a few deep breaths, and slowly nodded with a small smile filled with bittersweetness. Nene released his hand, as he sighed in shame:

"Thank you, and sorry... I don't want the two of you to worry about all of this. But in the end, it only makes you worry even more."

"I know that you didn't mean to hurt us. Let's just work through this together, as a team, and as friends." She softly smiled with a hint of embarrassment, looking at the side. "I know that I'm not the better person to say this, but we should also contact Tsuaksa's sister and Aoyagi. They are really close to him, and deserve to also know what's happening. Besides, they certainly know things as well... It's better for Tsukasa's sake if we all work together to be there for him."

The alchemist nodded, feeling his thoughts clearer thanks to his childhood friend's words. Some weight on his shoulder seemed to have vanished as well. However, his anxiety was still present, considering what just happened with the blonde. Rui brought his hand to his chin, looking towards the forest.

Who did Tsukasa see...?

**

Emu ran through the forest at the research of the panicked blonde. Her legs were moving on their own, as she was carefully looking in every direction. The blonde was certainly not in the forest, but in the park already. He was probably running away from it, maybe returning home. In any case, they couldn't leave him alone in such a state.

Even more after what he had said.

After a few minutes, Emu quickly reached the end of the forest, entering the park. She turned her head around, searching for blonde hair.

It didn't take too much time to find him.

He was screaming his lungs out in panic, held tightly by the mascot. The girl couldn't hear from where she was standing what the adult was saying to the blonde, but Tsukasa was squirming in the hold in complete distress. Emu didn't waste any more time and ran to them.

"Mister mascot! What happened?"

The mascot instantly turned around as he heard the voice of the youngest of the Otori family. However, he didn't release his hold on the blonde, and proceeded to answer despite the never ending screams of terror of the star.

"Miss Emu! He was brutally screaming and running into the park. He was going to hurt himself or someone else so-"

"I've got this! Let him go!" Commanded the pink-haired girl, making the mascot jump in surprise.

"My apologies miss Emu-"

The mascot did as it was told, releasing the blonde. Before Tsukasa could run off, Emu grabbed his wrist, making the blonde groan in panic.

"Let me go! They're going to find me-"

"Tsukasa it's alright, I'm right here!" Reassured Emu with her everlasting smile, even if this time it was mixed with apprehension.

"They'll kill me-"

Emu gasped in surprise. So she did really hear right earlier. It only made her more confused. However, she figured out that she wouldn't be able to calm down the star if they stood there. An idea quickly crossed her mind, as she tried to get the blonde's attention.

"Tsukasa! Let's go to the SEKAI."

The actor jolted in surprise, lowering his stare on the pink-haired girl.

"S-SEKAI...?"

"Yes! You'll be safe there. Let's go, alright? I'll stay with you!"

She felt the blonde holding her arm tightly as he nodded with teary eyes. They quickly walked away to avoid any stare, allowing the pink-haired girl to play the song.

As soon as the white flash had vanished, Tsukasa's legs gave up under his weight as he collapsed on the ground. Emu quickly sat down as well, gently rubbing his shoulder in a comforting manner. Despite her fear and worry, she was still smiling, not leaving the blonde's side. The star was hyperventilating, trying to catch his breath on his own.

"Here! Now you are safe and in security, they can't come here!"

The blonde nodded with a lost gaze, still looking at his surroundings. He quickly shook his head in nervousness, wiping his sweaty, and teary face.

"B-but... it means that I can't go back..."

"What do you mean? Of course you can!"

"N-no... they're waiting to end me... I don't want to die-"

"But what makes you think that? Who were they?" Asked Emu in confusion, trying to understand what was going on to begin with.

Tsukasa's eyes widened at this question, as he avoided his stare once again. He gulped, hesitating to answer. However, Emu's stare wasn't leaving him. Her smile had dropped, leaving a focus expression instead, waiting for his explanation. The blonde sighed, looking at the ground as he began to play nervously with his hands. Emu noticed how his stare turned unfocused bit by bit, as if his mind was shutting down. She quickly grabbed his hands, waking him up from his trance.

"I'm right here! If something is bothering you, I'll help you with it!"

The blonde's eyes began to water, as he shakily answered:

"I... I have a stalker."

"… A stalker?" Repeated Emu in surprise and confusion.

The blonde nodded, explaining further his current situation.

"For a few days, this stalker had been following me... They want me gone... I... I'm not safe... They're going to kill me-"

"What makes you think that ? Do you know who they are?"

"I... I don't know... b-but earlier they... I saw them behind a tree and... they had a knife...! T-they were coming for me-"

Emu frowned. A stalker was hiding nearby their stage, with a knife, threatening the blonde...? She didn't have time to think about what the blonde just told her, and simply put those thoughts away. After all, Tsukasa was beginning to hyperventilate again. Her priority wasn't to look too deep into his talk, but to comfort him and help him calm down. She slightly moved to be sitting next to him, and leaned on his shoulder, hugging his arm. The blonde jolted in surprise, staring at Emu who was smiling brightly at him.

"Everything's alright! You're safe here, and when you are in the park too!"

"B-but I saw them-"

"They can't hurt you when you are with us, even more when it's in the park!" Explained the pink-haired girl with her high-pitch voice and enthusiasm. "The park is my family's property, which means MY property too! And I won't let any of my friends get hurt there! So if that meanie wants to hurt you, they'll have to go through me first, and the mascot, and Nene, Rui, my brothers, my dad- anyone! You'll always be safe there, I promise. We won't let you get hurt! Phoenix Wonderland is a place that brings smiles, which means yours too! This is why you can't get hurt there."

The blonde gasped as he heard those words, staring with widened eyes at the pink-haired girl. His stare travelled down, as he slowly nodded with a small smile. However, Emu perfectly knew that it wasn't a real one. He let his frame melt, leaning against Emu's shoulder with a quiet sigh.

"Alright... Thank you."

She could feel that his body was feeling a bit less tense. Still, he wasn't completely fine. She didn't know what she was supposed to do, or what he needed. This is why she simply followed her guts. She slightly moved away from him, in order to properly hug him instead. She felt the blonde jolt in surprise, but he quickly went along, resting his head into the crook of her neck. She heard the blonde softly sigh, as his body was starting to relax.

"I think I never had as many hugs as I did recently..."

"Really? But hugs are so soft and warm! It always feels so fuzzy, all wooshy wooshy!"

"Wooshy wooshy...?" Murmured back the blonde with a bit of confusion, which quickly let place to a quiet giggle. "Certainly. It feels… really nice."

"Of course it does! But you're sure that you don't get hugs a lot? Even with Saki?" Asked the pink-haired girl, her curiosity suddenly picked up.

"Of course I do, what kind of big brother would I be without giving my dearest sister the warmest and best hugs in the universe?" Pouted the blonde, snuggling into the hold. "I meant... It strangely feels different when you are on the receiving end..."

"Oooh!! Don't be shy to ask for hugs if you want to, Tsukasa! Rui doesn't give you enough hugs? I'll scold him if it's the case!!"

The blonde shook his head with a faint blush on his cheeks, staring elsewhere.

"No he does, always in fact. I was thinking about him when I said that I never had as many hugs before. I mean, I do with Saki too but... it just feels different. As a matter of fact, I... probably am the one who does it less..."

Emu tilted her head to the side, surprised by the turn of their conversation. She didn't have any idea on how their relationship was going, she simply witnessed it when they were together. The two boys weren't that clingy in public. Now that the blonde mentioned it, she did recall multiple times where Rui would hug him from behind, initiate a kiss, holding his hand... meanwhile Tsukasa would simply follow along. She never bothered asking how things were going, it was their own privacy after all. She simply stayed quiet, listening to what the blonde wanted to say.

"Rui shouldn't have gotten sick a few months ago. Since... our feelings weren’t unrequieted this whole time, he shouldn't have. It's because I probably wasn't showing it enough or... appreciating him enough? And even if I know what happened and why it did, I... still don't do enough. I don't want to hurt him, even if his scars are healed now, and yet I... always feel like his ribcage would shatter if I hold him, or... maybe I'm just finding excuses too."

"You weren't together yet, you couldn't have known!" Reassured the pink-haired girl with her bright smile. "You did your absolute best to support him, and still do to this day. You don't have to worry about it. Also, Rui would be more than happy if you hugged him too! And you can ask him if he wants to, right?"

"I know, I even told him this myself a while ago. He was scared to make me uncomfortable but... I always enjoy it when he hugs me! When he... looks at me and... and kiss me-... just do what couples do- And... H-hm-"

Tsukasa suddenly screamed in embarrassment, hiding his face with his hands. Emu gasped in surprise, looking at the blonde who was melting from shame.

"I-I don't know what took over me- just forget about this all talk-!"

"Aww!! It's alright Tsukasa, don't be shy about it! We can talk about our love stories. It's alright!"

"I-it's private!!"

"It's alright we already saw you go chuu chuu behind the stage!"

"Chu- WHAT?!"

Emu laughed out loud, seeing how the blonde was burning up from embarrassment. It seemed that the blonde was slowly returning to his usual self, as quickly as this change surprisingly was. She glanced around them, and suddenly noticed Kaito and Miku standing not too far away. She immediately understood that they had witnessed the whole thing. She simply nodded to them, and turned her attention back on the fluster boy. She held his hand with a bright smile, making Tsukasa raise his head in surprise.

"For now, let's walk around SEKAI and see the plushies and Virtual Singers! I'm sure that they have a lot of shows that they want to show us!"

The blonde's eyebrows raised in surprise, his mind certainly still lost. He nodded, as Emu pulled him up. Both of them began to walk, wandering in the gigantic SEKAI.

**

A drone flew above the park, scanning the area. The childhood friends were staring with determination at the monitor, searching for any suspicious activity, or any sign of their two other friends.

Nothing.

"Did you find anything?" Asked the diva, playing nervously with her hands.

"Not at all... Not even a trace of Emu and Tsukasa." Replied the director with a hint of worry in his voice.

"I'm sure they are alright." Tried to reassure the shorter girl with a small smile. "Emu always knows how to cheer someone up-"

"I know... but it's different." Explain Rui with a small frown, not filled with anger, but concern. "I don't know if... Tsukasa can be cheered up in his current situation."

He was about to elaborate further, but a voice suddenly came out of his phone. The two actors jolted in surprise. Rui handed the controller over to Nene, letting him grab his phone from his pocket. Kaito's hologram appeared on top of the screen, as he greeted them both with a soft smile. Before the actors could ask anything, the blue Virtual Singer cleared their worry instantly:

"As you may have figured, I came to talk to you because of Tsukasa. Don't worry, both him and Emu are here."

Nene and Rui sighed in relief, while the diva controlled the drone to finally turn it off as soon as it reached their localisation. The director suddenly asked, unable to hide his concern:

"How is he...?"

Kaito nodded, giving a comforting smile:

"He is alright. Miku and I were about to reach them when we saw the state Tsukasa was in, but Emu handled the situation perfectly. They are wandering in the SEKAI at the moment, Miku went to join them."

Nene happily smiled, softly patting the alchemist's arm to comfort him. Rui could see in her eyes how proud she was of her girlfriend, making him gently smile.

"That is a relief then. Did... Tsukasa explained what happened?" Hesitantly asked Nene with concern.

Kaito avoided his stare for a second, thinking his answer through. He let a sigh escape his lips, and answered:

"I don't know if you are aware, but... Tsukasa said that he had been stalked for a few days now."

"… Stalked...?" Repeated Rui, feeling a mix of worry and anger build inside of him.

"Yes. Apparently, there is a stalker who had been following him and threatening him. And that same person was at the park, threatening him with a knife."

Nene and Rui immediately stared at each other, in disbelief. The diva brought her hand to her chin, thinking it through. However, the director was frowning, feeling the anxiety in his stomach growing. The initial feeling he brutally had about that information, turned into something else, as he was putting the pieces together.

"It still could be possible... Even everyday people can have stalkers..." Murmured the gamer, pensive.

"It's not possible." Suddenly retorted Rui, feeling his own forehead sweating. "And you know that too."

"I see that we share the same opinion on that statement." Nodded Kaito, crossing his arms.

"But what if it was true-"

"It could have, but with what just happened, it can't be possible." Explained Rui, trying his best to stay calm. "We are in the Phoenix park. Their security is pretty high. "

"You did get illegally in it at multiple times, so... maybe-"

"It couldn't be it either. When I joined the troupe, the staff asked me to tell them about every secret passageway I knew and blocked them." Rui continued to elaborate, feeling his nervousness getting worse with each of his own words, as he pointed out towards the forest. "Furthermore, Tsukasa affirmed that this person was there, right? He saw them inside the park. It can't be possible. They couldn't have entered the park to begin with."

"Maybe they entered simply through the entrance, but... they were armed, right? So... the security would have done something..." Added the gamer, seemingly noticing how she couldn't still defend Tsukasa's claims.

"They always check our belongings. They would have stopped that assailant. Their target was even Tsukasa, right? So a member- no, the leader of Wonderlands x Showtime, the ambassadors of the park itself. There is no way that they would have let something like this slide. They wouldn't even allow me to stage unauthorized performances, so I can't imagine for an attempt at murder."

"I think that as well." Nodded Kaito with a sigh. "But maybe that is true as well, we can't simply overlook it because of how strange it sounds. After all, if Tsukasa is really in danger, measures need to be taken."

"I'm... not sure he is. Or at least, not because of that mysterious individual." Hesitated Rui, holding tightly on his sleeve.

"But... you saw how frightened he was... right? Why would he lie about such a thing-"

"Because he wasn't lying."

Nene's eyes widened in confusion, staring at the director. Rui was sweating with apprehension and fear. He rubbed his forehead, trying to get his thoughts clear. He bit his lip, tightening his fists.

"Nene, you noticed it too, right? Tsukasa has been saying, and doing nonsense for a while now. How he thought Mizuki’s flowers were toxic, Saki even told me how he was convinced people on TV were staring at him and reading his thoughts, that stalker... I'm sure you even witnessed other things, and the same goes for me, and I'm sure Aoyagi did too. He's not lying when he says all this. He is convinced by his claims."

Nene frowned, holding tightly on her own shirt. She looked back at the ground with shaking eyes.

"You... you don't mean..."

"Tsukasa is clearly having hallucinations. And… it may not only be hallucinations..."

Rui turned his stare back into the phone, and asked the Virtual Singer:

"Ask Tsukasa and Emu to come back immediately. I'll bring Tsukasa to my house, since my mom is home. Even if she is a biologist, I... think she may know what to do. I need her to check on him and... verifying my theory."

The gamer and the Virtual Singer stared at him with fear and worry. Rui bit his lip, exchanging a concerned stare with them.

He hated it, he hoped he was wrong. They wouldn't know without a proper diagnostic yet, but they couldn't keep on closing their eyes.

Tsukasa wasn't aware of it, of course he wasn't.

Because Tsukasa couldn't be aware of it.

Rui took a deep breath, and finally let those words out:

"I... think I know what's going on with Tsukasa."

Chapter Text

Rui and Nene changed back into their uniform, waiting for Emu and Tsukasa to come back. The director couldn't ease that knot inside his stomach, as his thoughts were spiralling. He had an idea of what was happening, but he wasn't an expert either. His mother wasn't either, she was by no means a doctor or a psychologist, but at least maybe she could know what to do. He certainly needed to talk about it to the blonde's parents, he had no idea if they were aware of anything at all. He knew how Tsukasa was always discreet about his struggles to his own parents, which was the reason why they were certainly unaware. Should he tell them...? He didn't know either, he didn't want to just act behind Tsukasa's back. After all, they were his own family.

"I'm sorry Nene, I'm again taking care of things on my own." Suddenly apologised the director, remembering the conversation he had with the diva.

"It's alright, I didn't say that you had to stop doing anything at all..." Sighed the diva with a small smile. "If you think you know what is going on and how to help Tsukasa, go ahead. Just don't hesitate to let us help too. Do you want Emu and I to accompany you?"

"Thank you. And it won't be necessary. It may be anxious enough with my mom and I. I think that adding more people may put Tsukasa into a more stressful situation."

"I understand... Please keep us informed."

Rui nodded in agreement with a small smile. It wasn't as if he had an idea how to help the blonde, it was certainly just a futile first step, but if that could do anything...

"Hi! We're back!" Suddenly a voice nearby cheered.

The childhood friends turned around, and saw Emu and Tsukasa walking up to them. The pink-haired girl was holding the star's hand, forcing him to walk beside her. He was still lost in thought, observing his surroundings. Certainly to check if that stalker was nearby. This made Rui sigh, completely clueless on what he should do, or say to appease the blonde. He simply brushed those thoughts aside, focusing on his beloved instead. Tsukasa's attention finally came back to the troupe, as he gasped in surprise.

"Oh! You changed back to your uniforms?"

"Yes, we figured that we could end practice a bit early today." Smiled back Nene, trying her best to not let her awkwardness show.

Tsukasa instantly frowned, trying to argue that it was alright. However despite his pleads, none of the other members gave up.

"But it's alright-"

"The weather is a bit harsh today, so it isn't as much of a bad thing if we call it a day now." Softly explained Rui, taking the star's bag to give it to him. "I'll wait for you to change back."

Tsukasa hesitantly took his bag, tilting his head to the side in confusion. Even if it was harmless, Rui felt as if he was betraying him and his true intentions. But it wasn't against the blonde at all. A forced smirk drew itself on his face, masking his own endless worries. He let a peck on the blonde's forehead, explaining with a singing tone:

"Since we have some extra time before Aoyagi and Emu come to your house, what about going into mine?"

"A-ah? Wouldn't it be better to already come to mine-"

Rui was about to tease him, crying fake tears with his best acting, whimpering 'that hurts~! You don't like my wonderful workshop?' but he stopped.

Tsukasa was having hallucinations. He figured that saying something like this may make it even worse. The blonde's mind seemed more... vulnerable. Adding more pressure and confusion was out of the line.

"I just really enjoy having you at my house. Besides, a changement of place is nice too. I want to be a really good host for you, dear."

The blonde immediately blushed, avoiding his stare with a few mumbles. Despite his original act being thrown by a window, it seemed that he could still tease the star. Tsukasa walked away, changing elsewhere than backstage. After all, since that incident where he had a pretty bad panic attack, he never came back to this place. Rui's thoughts couldn't help but turn around again, wondering if this issue was the same as the current one.

…

Why was he differencing the two ? Hallucinations were hallucinations, right?

Emu and Tsukasa didn't take too much time to change back. The pink-haired girl ran to her girlfriend with a big smile, while the blonde seemed to get nervous again. Rui felt as if it was the only emotion that the star could feel these days, and it made his heart shatter at the thought. He felt so powerless, wanting desperately to comfort and reassure his star. But it seemed that despite his tries, nothing could be done. He took a deep breath, and walked to the star.

"Let's go now, shall we?"

He reached out his hand to the blonde, who didn't take too much time to take it. His hand was warm as usual, but also clammy, certainly due to his never ending anxiety. How could his heart still beat after so many frights? Nene and Emu walked beside them, probably preferring to stay with them a bit before going their separate ways. After all, as the diva had said to him, they were also worried for the blonde.

As soon as they reached the gate, Rui felt the blonde's hand starting to shake. He immediately stopped his steps, turning around to look at him. As he guessed, the star was starting to panic, holding tightly on the director's sleeve. Emu seemed to understand instantly what was going on, and gently smiled at the star:

"Tsukasa it's going to be alright! You are safe with Rui! Nene and I can walk with you if you prefer!"

The blonde shook his head, hiding it with his hand. Rui kept his sigh inside, and carefully hugged the star. He tried his best to not let his smile shiver, but it was starting to be tiring, and he was starting to even lose hope. He didn't know how to properly help him, and the further time passed, the worse his worries were.

Was Tsukasa going to stay like this forever? Not even able to walk outside?

He brushed his thoughts aside. He had to stay strong for Tsukasa. He needed his comfort, no, all of their comfort. Rui gently kissed his forehead, rubbing carefully his scalp and back.

"It's just as Emu said. It's going to be alright, we won't let you alone." Added Nene, standing beside the couple. "Tell us when you are ready to go, and if you need anything."

The blonde was shaking into the director's arms. The inventor felt him nodding, but he was still holding on to his cardigan for dear life. After a small silence, the star's voice reached their ears. Rui's heart shattered again at the sound, unusually shaken and quiet...

"I- I can't... they're waiting for me... a-as soon as they'll see me... they'll..."

"You're safe, nothing will happen to you, I promise." Retorted Rui, softly cupping his cheek.

"I can ask one of my brothers to drive you to Rui's place if you prefer!" Suggested Emu with her bright smile, bringing light to the troupe.

Tsukasa's eyes travelled to the pink-haired girl, unfocused. He seemed to be thinking about the question and his answer, as he finally shook his head.

"It won't change anything... as soon as they'll recognise me I-"

"Recognise you?" Suddenly repeated Rui, an idea crossing his mind.

He carefully let go of the embrace, and asked to the blonde with a small smile:

"Remove your cardigan, please."

"Wh... wha ?" Retorted the blonde, his cheek suddenly turning pink.

"Remove your cardigan and give it to me, please."

Tsukasa hesitated a bit, but did as he was told, nervously. He landed his cardigan over to the director, who put it inside his bag. The girls were looking at them with confusion too, but quickly guessed where the alchemist was getting at. Rui removed his own cardigan, and suddenly put it over the blonde's shoulders. Tsukasa was staring at him with widened eyes through the all process, frozen in place. He quickly got back to his senses, as he moved his arms to properly put them into the sleeves. Rui closed the cardigan with the buttons before the star could do it himself. The director softly smiled, leaving a peck on the blonde's confused head.

"There, they won't recognise you anymore."

The blonde jumped in surprise, looking down at his own shape. Rui couldn't help but find him adorable, and seeing the star in his cardigan made him realise how much bigger their height difference actually was. He already knew, and it wasn't the first time that Tsukasa wore his clothes, but it always surprised him. The blonde slowly nodded, looking away with embarrassment, as he played with the long sleeves which were covering almost all his hands.

"H-hm.. y-yes I suppose..."

To Rui's surprise, his intention was to simply reassure the blonde, but it may have helped him get some senses back. That was unexpected, but he couldn't deny that this outcome was even better. He softly held the star's hand, tilting his head to the side.

"Are you feeling better? Do you think that we can go now?"

The blonde looked back at the director, and softly smiled with a nod. Maybe that little trick did help his mind to rest. The troupe finally walked out of the park towards Rui's house. The girls changed their plan in order to walk with them, and planned on a sleepover at Nene's place. Rui noticed how Emu kept on talking with Tsukasa, certainly to distract him from looking around them to search for that 'stalker'. It was indeed working, since the blonde was smiling brightly, invested into their talk. This made him sigh in relief. The blonde's smile always felt so bright and comforting, it was a relief to see it back on his face. It wasn't as if he wasn't smiling at all these days, but it still felt as if it had been an eternity. Rui was hoping for it to last longer, or even forever.

They quickly reached the director's house. Before he could open the door, Emu suddenly grabbed his sleeve and pulled him away from the group, forcing Rui to let go of the blonde's hand. He didn't have anytime to retort anything in his confusion, that the pink-haired girl whispered in his ear:

"You can give Tsukasa a looooot of kisses and wooshy hugs!"

The inventor's face burned as soon as he heard those words. Emu giggled at the sight, smiling proudly. Rui was still absolutely confused, but decided to simply nod with a smirk.

"I'll make sure of it."

Emu laughed back, happily boucning from left to right. The director had no idea about what Tsukasa and the pink-haired girl talked about, but it didn't take too much time to connect the dots. It was right, they had the others with them too. They were more than willing to help. The troupe stood like this for a little while, discussing about their next show before the girls finally waved them goodbye to go to Nene's place. Rui grabbed back Tsukasa's hand, and opened the front door. As soon as they entered, they were greeted by the director's mom, who gasped in surprise when she saw them.

"Welcome back, I wasn't expecting you this early! Oh, Tsukasa is here too, hi sweetie."

Tsukasa instantly gasped in reply and bowed quickly.

"Hi! Sorry for the intrusion!"

Rui's mom giggled, while the boys were removing their shoes to enter the living room.

"It's alright, I already told you to not be this formal."

"R-right my deepest apologies!"

Rui chuckled at the sight of his flustered boyfriend, and gently rubbed his knuckles with his thumb. The inventor's mom turned around to go to the kitchen, as her voice was reasoning through the house.

"Do you want to drink anything?"

"Tea for me please, and what about you Tsukasa?"

Tsukasa hummed loudly, and proudly smile with an iconic pose:

"An incredible and marevellous hot chocolate of course!"

Rui's mom chuckled at this affirmation, adding with a smile:

" Alright then, I'll prepare that. I'll bring your drinks to your workshop-"

"It's alright." Suddenly cut Rui, as he led the blonde to the table. "We'll stay here."

His mom turned around in confusion, while the blonde was also staring at him in surprise. Rui left a peck on his forehead with a small smile:

"We don't often stay here when you come to my place. Let's simply relax here and go to my workshop later. What do you think?"

The blonde raised his eyebrows in surprise, and answered with a smirk:

"Alright! That sounds marvellous for me!"

Rui felt as if he was betraying the star.

He wasn't of course, he would never dare. This was one of the most lame lies he had ever told, but he had no idea what to answer. After all, he wanted his mother to stay nearby. He had actually no real idea on how to execute his 'plan', if he could even call it like this. All he wanted was for his mother to notice Tsukasa's odd behaviour. However, the star seemed to feel better, for his own relief! Maybe his idea was way too cruel. He didn't really know how to think about it, maybe just tell what happened to his mother, after all she would understand, maybe...? Did he actually make a good decision to bring Tsukasa to his place? How was he supposed to talk to his mother if he was there? He wasn't going to trigger the poor blonde simply to prove his point- how far were his own thoughts going now anyway?! Was he overthinking this once again? Why was he even searching for his mother's advice and help, when the issue was regarding Tsukasa? He should certainly have go to the blonde's parents instead-

He quickly shook his head, well now it was too late anyway. He could just have a nice afternoon with his boyfriend, and depending on what would happen, he would simply manage. Before he knew it, his mother put the cups in front of them, along with a box. When she opened it, Rui swore that Tsukasa's eyes started to brightly shine, full with sparkles.

"I bought this cake earlier, you can have some!"

Rui chuckled at the blonde's expression, gently kissing his cheek.

"My star really loves cakes. Maybe I have found a rival?"

Tsukasa jumped at this sentence with his face burning up. He brutally turned his head around to properly look at the director, and pouted.

"Don't say that! There's no way I could date a cake!"

"Oooh but you look at it with so much love!" Whined the purple-haired boy with fake crocodile tears.

"You... are you getting jealous over a cake?!" Brutally shouted out the blonde in disbelief.

Rui chuckled at this reaction, resting his chin on his palm with a smirk.

"What if I am? Hmm... I wonder how my cute star could make me feel less jealous~"

The blonde's face burned, as he stammered badly. He brutally shook his face and avoided his stare, murmuring with embarrassment:

"W-when we'll be in your workshop t-then... I'll kiss you... Is it fine...?"

The director's eyes shone, as he quickly left a peck on the blonde's cheek.

"It is more than fine with me. Thank you my precious little star~"

Tsukasa groaned, playing nervously with his cup. He was certainly shy in front of Rui's mother, how adorable! He was a bright star and actor, always eager to have every stare on him, to catch everyone's attention. However within such intimate gestures, he was a real mess. Of course, the director wasn't any better, maybe even worse at times. But still, teasing his star really was one of his favorite activities. He heard his mother softly giggled, as she took out a few plates with spoons. She cut the cake in small parts, and gave them to the couple. Rui gently smiled as he saw Tsukasa happily thanking his mother, and hesitated to eat the cake. He looked back at Rui, as if he was searching for some kind of approval. The director chuckled at the sight, and simply began to eat. As soon as the inventor began to eat, the star didn't wait any longer and tasted it as well.

As they were eating, Rui and Tsukasa began to talk about their future show again, while the lady would ask a few questions out of curiosity. When the blonde was lost in a long mumble, the director stole a bit of his cake, making the blonde scream in protest. As soon as he noticed how the star was pouting, Rui took a part of his cake and approached it to his lover's lips.

"Sorry my dear~ Here, you can take mine! Say 'aaaah'!"

If Tsukasa's face could get even redder, Rui was pretty certain that he would have exploded. He groaned in embarrassment, but obliged and opened his mouth, allowing the director to feed him. The director happily giggled, leaning forward to let a peck on the blonde's lips. The star jumped in surprise, immediately hiding his face with his hands.

"You have no shame!!"

Rui raised his eyebrows in surprise, and quickly understood that the reason he shouted this was because of the presence of his mother. The inventor giggled, teasing the blonde as he poked his cheek with his finger.

"You weren't any better this morning! I never knew Tsukasa could be this shameless!"

He screamed.

He mumbled endless excuses and justifications, as his face was burning up.

"I-it wasn't the same! I-I was tired a-and I- I didn't kiss you HERE!!" Brutally shouted out the blonde, pointing at his lips.

"But you like it when I kiss you~"

"T-that's not the point!! Ugh just forget it!" Pouted the blonde, eating his cake with a frown.

How adorable. Rui couldn't help himself but chuckle, rubbing softly his back as an apology. Despite his frown and attempt to be upset, the star leaned into the touch, almost resting his head on Rui's shoulder.

After a little while, both of them finished eating. Tsukasa thanked once again the mother for the cake, and turned around to look at his boyfriend:

"Are we going to your workshop?"

Rui smiled, trying to hide his nervousness.

He had to talk to his mother.

He softly shook his head and answered as he kissed his cheek :

"Go ahead of me, I will help my mom to clean the dishes."

"Oh! Wait I can help-"

"No it's alright don't worry! It won't take long anyway, I'll be right back. I love you." Reassured the director, kissing the star.

Tsukasa jolted at the touch, his face burning up once again. He quickly nodded, and did as he was told, leaving Rui alone with his mother. As soon as the blonde was gone, the director's mother stared at him with a smile.

"I'm not really sure you would prefer to help me instead of spending time with your boyfriend. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Rui gulped, smiling weakly at his mother. He took their cup and plates, and walked to the sink. He began to wash the dishes, while his mother stood beside him.

He shouldn't run away now. He was the one who put himself into this situation. He had to explain to her the situation, to help them, to give some advice... anything that could help. He took a deep breath, and answered with a low tone, to make sure that the blonde wouldn't hear them.

"It's about Tsukasa."

"I figured...Did something happen?"

Rui stopped the water, avoiding his mother's stare. He felt suddenly nervous to tell her about the whole thing, but he had to. He had to help the blonde.

"Since a few days ago, he has been acting really strangely. He... says nonsense, and does strange things too."

"Nonsense? What do you mean by that?" Asked his mother as she crossed her arms.

"For example, he was convinced that he and I were in the same class, that the flowers Mizuki brought me to the hospital were toxic, that people on the TV could read his thoughts... And he is also convinced that he has a stalker... but none of those are true. I think he has hallucinations and... I think that he is delusional..."

The mother frowned, staring at her son with seriousness and surprise. She brought her hand to her chin, answering with concern:

"He seemed alright though, I didn't notice anything-"

"It doesn't always happen, sometimes he is fine and all of a sudden he goes into an episode. I... wanted to bring him here so that you can see it for yourself, I don't know... maybe to just make sure that we weren't overreacting? But I don't really know what to do... I thought you may know what he has?"

"I'm not a doctor, sweetheart..."

"I know! But-" Rui's stare went downwards, staring at his shaking hands. "I'm worried for him, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to wait until it is too late. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes... What should we do?"

His mother was about to answer, but got brutally stopped by coughs and screams. Rui jumped in surprise, as he quickly turned around the source of the voice.

The toilet.

Without waiting any more second, Rui immediately ran towards the room, quickly followed by his mother. As soon as they arrived, the director gasped.

Tsukasa was on the ground bent over the toilet bowl, violently hitting his own chest and abdomen, making himself cough and throw up. Rui immediately kneeled down beside him, holding his wrist. The blonde desperately tried to get away from the director's grasp, but the inventor was holding him with all his strength.

"Tsukasa stop doing that!"

"I- I need... to get them out-"

Rui's eyes widened. Flashes from the night ran into his head as his heart accelerated. He brutally cupped Tsukasa's face, forcing the blonde to stare at him.

"Tsukasa, please stop hurting yourself! I love you Tsukasa, I love you with all my heart, you can't be sick, we're healed!"

The blonde shook his head, as his eyes were tearing up.

"It's not true... you hate me! T-this is why you cheat on me..."

Rui gasped. This was even worse. He felt his own hands shaking against the blonde's cheeks, as he tried to argue:

"Tsukasa I would never do such a thing! I love you with all my heart! My heart is yours, even my whole body, anything you wish for, I'm all yours! So please..."

"I-it's a lie..." Suddenly the blonde uttered, as he hid his face. "He told me..."

"Wait... 'He'...? Tsukasa-"

Rui's mom suddenly kneeled beside the blonde who trembled at the movement. She gently held his hands, looking at him with comforting eyes.

"Tsukasa, I'm pretty sure that it is a misunderstanding. Even if Rui puts you in a lot of challenging situations, he loves you with all his heart, just as much as you love him. He wouldn't have brought you to his place if it wasn't the case, right?"

The blonde's eyes widened. He looked down with a few sniffles, trying to wipe his eyes. The mother continued, while she was softly rubbing his back in a circle.

"How are you feeling? Can you tell us?"

Tsukasa's eyes travelled between the two. Rui's heart stopped as soon as their stare met. His eyes were empty, as if his bright star wasn't in this body anymore. It was as if someone else took his place, or as if his shiny personality turned off. After a small silence he finally answered, staring at the ground.

"I... I don't know..."

"It's alright, take your time. Let's go to the living room, alright?"

Tsukasa nodded, while Rui gently took his hand to help him stand up. However, the blonde brutally groaned in pain as he tightly held his belly. The director immediately stopped his action, and helped the star to sit back down in worry.

"Are you hurt?"

"Y-yes... I'm sorry-" Suddenly replied the star, wrapping his chest and belly.

The mom's face suddenly turned pale, as she looked at the blonde with a serious tone.

"Tsukasa, can you pull up your shirt please?"

The blonde began to panic, as he quickly shook his head. Rui quickly understood, and gently patted his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"Tsukasa please, we just want to help you. We won't hurt you I promise."

The star hesitated, but finally accepted with a small nod. He avoided their stare, and slightly pulled up his shirt.

Rui's breath stopped.

Tsukasa's abdomen and chest were covered in bruises. He looked as if he had been badly beaten. Rui's mother examined the injuries with a frown, and let the star pull down his shirt.

"Some... are a few days old."

Rui's eyes widened. Tsukasa had been hitting himself up this badly for days? He had been going through this alone at multiple times...? How did he even manage to calm himself alone, while thinking that he was dying from Hanahaki Disease? He quickly left his thoughts as he heard his mother's voice, uncomfortably low.

"Help him walk to the couch, I will take some ice."

Rui nodded, and gently wrapped his arm around his shoulders, and helped the blonde to stand up. They slowly walked to the couch, while the blonde was panting in pain. The director's mother didn't take too much time to arrive with bag full of ice, and carefully put it over the bruises. Tsukasa groaned at the cold sensation, while the inventor was gently kissing his temple to reassure him.The star melted into the touch, resting his head on the director's shoulder. The alchemist's mother kneeled in front of them, and asked with a serious tone, trying to not seem to intimidating:

"Tsukasa, how are you sleeping?"

The blonde raised his eyebrows in surprise, looking at the side.

He was mute again.

She sighed, but stayed patient, as she asked another question instead:

"Are you having insomnia? If so, can you tell me since when?"

Tsukasa looked down at the pack of ice that he was holding through his shirt, and nodded defeatly.

"Since... about three weeks..."

Rui turned his stare to his mother, whose face turned pale. He felt his own heart starting to shake from nervousness. Suddenly, she turned her stare to her son:

"Do you know his parents' phone number?"

The director gasped at the question. He tried to hide his own anxiety to not make the blonde feel it as well. He hesitantly answered, rubbing softly his boyfriend's scalp:

"I don't, but I know Tsukasa's phone password so..."

"Can you give it to me?"

Rui figured that it may be worse than he thought. He nodded pointing to the star's bag. His mom took the phone, and let his son unlock it. As soon as it was done, she left the room to make a phone call. Her unusual silence made Rui's worries even worse. His eyes moved back to his boyfriend, who seemed to have calmed down, but was still shaking under his arm. He seemed so small...

The inventor sighed, he was out of options. Everything seemed fine, they were joking while eating cake, and now Tsukasa was trying to wipe his tears out of his eyes, trembling against his shoulder after injuring himself. Did Rui do something wrong? Did Tsukasa start thinking he hated him because he didn't go with him? No... he was clearly being delusional, so... Maybe this would have happened either way? He quickly shook his head. Trying to find answers or thinking with 'what ifs' wouldn't do anything. He had something more important to do, which was looking after Tsukasa. The blonde seemed to feel better, but he was also lost in thought. Rui gently kissed his forehead, and moved the blonde's hands away from the pack of ice to hold it himself.

"How are you feeling? Does it help with the pain?"

Tsukasa nodded, snuggling against his neck.

"I'm sorry..."

"Hey it's alright, you don't need to apologise for anything. Tell me if I can do anything for you, alright?"

Tsukasa nodded, letting his hands play with Rui's tie out of nervousness.

"Thank you... I love you."

Rui softly smiled, kissing the top of his head. All of a sudden, Rui's mother came back to the living room, giving back the blonde's phone. Her expression was still serious, mixed with concern. She took a deep breath, and said as she took her bag:

"They are on the road. Let's go now."

Rui tilted his head to the side in confusion, asking with a frown:

"Where...?"

His mother looked back at them both, taking a deep breath. He could see in her eyes how nervous she was as well. His own heartbeat was starting to accelerate inside his ribcage, afraid of what she would answer. She softly approached the couple to kneel in front of them. She was trying her hardest to not sound intimidating or scary, even if it seemed like a lost cause. Rui felt Tsukasa's hand holding his shirt tighter, as he was feeling more anxious about her answer.

And finally, she let the words out:

"To the hospital. Tsukasa needs to go to the hospital right away."

Chapter Text

"To... the hospital?"

Tsukasa heard Rui's voice crack, while his own vision turned blurry. The panic that managed to ease up a bit began to come back, as it was more difficult to even breathe. His hold on the director's shirt tightened, feeling his body shaking. Rui's mom seemed to be trying to sound as calm as possible, but despite her attempts, the blonde's heart couldn't stop racing.

"I... I can't!" Brutally shouted out Tsukasa, holding tightly on the inventor's arm. "The doctors... they're going to take my organs-"

"They won't do that, I promise." Answered the adult, gently patting his knee. "There will be doctors, but they won't harm you."

"B-but.. I..."

He couldn't go there. Not to that place again.

He lost everything there.

Everytime you go there.

Nothing gets better.

It only gets worse.

Tsukasa suddenly felt a cold hand against his cheek, waking him up from his thoughts. Rui was staring at him with comforting eyes full of pity. His thumb was gently rubbing his cheekbone, while the blonde simply sank his head into the crook of his neck. He was exhausted, he didn't have any more strength to scream.

Anywhere... but not there.

"P-please... I don't want to go there... Rui please..." Pleaded the star in a sob.

The director's face flinched at those words. He brutally let go of the star's face to wrap his arms around his shaking frame. Tsukasa could feel his hand rubbing his back in a circle, as his tired body could simply melt into the touch.

"It's going to be alright, I promise. You'll feel better after this."

He gently cupped his face once again, and kissed his forehead. His thumb was back at rubbing his cheekbone, helping the blonde to keep his grip on reality. Tsukasa's body was painful, the bruises on his chest and stomach were throbbing, making him groan in pain. But despite that unbearable feeling, Rui's soft and comforting touches made a strange contrast. His body wanted to run away, but at the same time, Tsukasa wanted to simply melt into it, to let himself become weak against the director, being vulnerable and at his mercy.

Are you certain that you don't risk anything next to him?

Did you already forget what happened last time?

Tsukasa didn't have the time to sink deeper into his head, he felt an arm behind his back pushing him out of the couch, helping him standing up. He thought he heard voices, but the world was simply spinning around him. It was too loud, and at the same time completely silent.

Before he knew it, he was once again pulled into a soft embrace. He tried to look at his surroundings, but his sight was way too blurry to recognise anything. He thought that words were escaping his shaking lips, but he couldn't even know what they were. He felt a cold hand gently playing with his hair, while a soft voice was humming.

He simply let himself melt into the touch and the song, unable to control his own body.

**

The car ride was long and awfully stressful. The director was sitting at the back next to the blonde, holding him tightly, while his mother was driving to the hospital. However, Tsukasa was shaking and completely out of it, while he was mumbling quiet nonsense. Rui tried to talk to him, but it was no use. The blonde's eyes were empty again, and his stare was completely lost. The director had been able to at least reach him before, but now it seemed absolutely futile. He couldn't reach the star at all, he looked like an empty shell. Rui's voice started to tremble in panic.

"M-mom... Tsukasa is... not reacting at all-"

"It's alright, don't worry." Reassured the mother, not moving her stare away from the road. "Continue to comfort him as you were doing. Even if it doesn't look like it, I'm pretty sure that it helps."

Rui sighed, looking down at the star. As his mother explained, Tsukasa's mind might have 'shut down' due to his anxiety. Knowing that he was going to the hospital was probably the last throw, and now he looked like a ghost, or a puppet. It was disturbing in some way, but Rui kept it together. Even if it seemed useless, he kept on humming softly to the blonde, as his hands would gently rub his knuckles and shoulder. He knew how this little lullaby helped the blonde to relax, and how he had the habit to sing it to others for that same purpose. Maybe it could reach him, or at least Rui hoped it did.

After a few minutes, they finally arrived at the hospital. Rui was helping the blonde to walk by wrapping his arm around his waist, while the star's face was flinching from the pain. As soon as they entered the white building, the alchemist felt the blonde's grip getting tighter from nervousness. He gently kissed the top of his head, in a desperate attempt to reassure him. They arrived at some kind of waiting room, where a few people were already waiting. Rui's mother pointed at a line of chair and explain with a whisper to not disturb the other patients:

"Sit here and wait for me, I'll be right back."

Rui nodded and sat down with Tsukasa, while his mother walked away, certainly to the reception desk. The blonde unconsciously pulled himself closer to the director, holding on his arm tightly, while he was still trembling. But compared to the car ride, the star's face wasn't as livid. This time, the director could see how the star was feeling but his expression alone.

He was terrified.

His eyes were wandering around, looking through the large space. The hold on Rui's sleeve kept on being more strong and tight. The blonde's breath started to speed up, almost hyperventilating. The inventor softly kissed the top of the star's head, still rubbing his knuckles with his thumb.

"It's going to be alright. I'm right here."

The blonde snuggled against his shoulder, almost as if he was trying to hide. Rui thought he nodded, but he wasn't entirely sure if his words could reach him at all. After a few minutes, the star's eyes moved on the director, as he was pleading with a quiet voice:

"Rui... please can we leave...?"

The inventor sighed and kissed once again his forehead, speaking in a murmur:

"I'm sorry my star, but we can't. It's for your own good."

"No it's not! They... they're going to take the flowers out... and then I'll forget about you and they'll remove my organs and-"

Rui raised his hand to cup the blonde's face to comfort him. But to his surprise, the star gasped in panic. He immediately covered his face with his arms, almost breaking down as he began to scream.

"I'm sorry ! I'm sorry please don't hit me-"

The director instantly moved his hand away, staring in shock at the star. Did he moved to brutally? He slowly moved his hands again, gently holding the star's.

"Tsukasa, everything's fine. I'm not going to hurt you."

The blonde's widened eyes stared at him, as his frame was still shaking. Rui carefully cupped the side of his face, making the blonde flinch at the gesture, closing his eyes in fear.

"There, see? Does it hurt?"

He hesitantly opened an eye, and slowly shook his head. A small silence took place, while the blonde was still staring in fear at the director. Rui was staying still, trying to show how he wasn't going to hurt the other at all. After a little while, the star finally leaned to the touch, and let himself melt again against the director's shoulder. Rui's hand was back on his shoulder, while the other was once again rubbing softly his knuckles. He could feel the blonde's body starting to tremble less, but his stare was lost again.

After a little while, Rui's mother finally came back. She kneeled in front of the star, showing a chocolate bar.

"Here, you can eat this. Since you threw up earlier, I suppose that you don't have anything left in your stomach. It's not a lot, but it will help you feel better."

The blonde nodded, murmuring a small thanks, and took the snack. Rui noticed how his free hand was still holding on his own stomach, certainly because of the throbbing pain from his bruises. The director looked up at his mother who stand up, and asked quietly:

"We can't give him any medicine to ease the pain...?"

"I prefer not." Answered the adult with her eyebrows bent down in guilt. "I don't know what kind of treatment the doctors will give him, so just in case I prefer to avoid doing anything that could hurt him."

Rui sighed, but nodded. Even if he had a pretty clear idea of what was happening to the blonde now, he still wasn't completely sure. He couldn't really diagnose him on his own, he wasn't a doctor after all. All of a sudden, he saw a chocolate bar waving in front of him. He looked down at the blonde, who was offering half of his snack wordlessly. Rui softly smiled, and gently pushed his hand away.

"Thank you my star, but I'm fine. You don't want to finish it?"

Tsukasa shook his head in response, waving the snack again, as he avoided his stare.

"I'm not really hungry... I feel like I'll throw up."

The inventor gently kissed his forehead, and took the chocolate bar from the star's hand with a soft smile.

"Alright, I'll just keep it aside for now. Tell me if you want to eat more, alright?"

Tsukasa simply nodded. Rui's heart shattered at how unusually quiet the actor was. He should be used to it now, but each time the star would go into some kind of episode, it seemed to be even worse than the previous one. Nothing in that person was like Tsukasa, it was someone else, an empty star. He quickly shook his head, it wasn't the moment to think about it. Even if that person didn't look like his star, he was still Tsukasa. And as painful as it was, he had to stay with him.

All of a sudden, they heard fast footsteps reaching their way. Rui raised his head in surprise, while the blonde was too lost in thought to react to anything. The inventor saw a woman with long peach hair running their way, as she gasped in panic:

"Tsukasa!"

At the sound of his name, the blonde instantly raised his head, and his eyes widened in shock. Two arms suddenly wrapped him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Even if Rui never saw her before, he instantly understood that she was his boyfriend's mother. She was hugging her son, while one of her hand was holding the back of his head. From where Rui was sitting, he couldn't see her face, but he was able to see Tsukasa's. His eyes were widened in shock, but he stood immobile. Rui could hear a trembling feminine voice, threatening to crack into uncontrollable sobs.

"Everything will be alright now..."

Saki and another adult, who Rui guessed to be Tsukasa's father, arrived as well. The dad instantly apologised for their delay, explaining how they tried to be as fast as possible, while the younger sibling was staring at her brother with concern. Meanwhile the mother was still hugging Tsukasa desperately, as her grip got even tighter. Within the silence of the space, her trembling voice reached all of their ears:

"Tsukasa... I am so sorry..."

At those words, Tsukasa's empty eyes abruptly woke up, as if a small light had been lit up. Rui heard him gulp, as his eyes were tearing up. The director knew how he was trying to say something, but no words were able to escape his lips. He simply lowered down his head, while his shaking arms finally wrapped his mother back. After a few minutes, Rui's mother bent down to the other mom, and gently patted her shoulder.

"Maybe you should take some fresh air, let me accompany you."

Mrs Tenma nodded, as she slightly moved away from the hug. Rui was now able to see her weeping face, as she let numerous pecks on the blonde's face.

"Mom will be right back, alright? Saki will stay here."

She finally stood up, walking away with her husband and Rui's mom, while he could still hear her cry. He couldn't even know how awful the star's parents were feeling. By her plead alone, he felt every unspoken words that were certainly boiling inside of her.

'Sorry for not being here'

'Sorry for not noticing sooner'

'Sorry for everything'

Rui could already imagine what the star would have answered in normal circumstances, or what he thought about the situation. After all, Tsukasa did talk about it a bit before, even back at their aquarium date a few months ago. 'It was unfortunate' was the words he had said back then. It was simply events which couldn't be avoided, and that no good or bad decisions could have been made. All of them were aware of it, it was just how things went. But it didn't change the fact that Tsukasa was neglected, even if it wasn't wanted at all. Rui knew how guilty his own parents felt, and were still feeling after the all Hanahaki Disease incident, and this 'I'm so sorry' hit right home. It was certainly the same for Tsukasa's parents.

But it wasn't their fault if they just couldn't be here, if they were too busy.

It wasn't their fault if Tsukasa didn't open up to them about any of his troubles.

And it wasn't Tsukasa's fault if he was simply unable to open up.

It was some kind of vicious cycle that kept on running, breaking each party bit by bit. Saki on the other hand, was sitting on the other side of Tsukasa, while her brother's face was still frozen in shock. It wasn't as lifeless as before, and not as terrified as before. Even if Tsukasa couldn't put words into his feelings anymore, Rui could feel them.

He was feeling guilty.

Rui softly held his hand again, kissing on his temple to reassure him. He heard the blonde sigh, and murmuring:

"What kind of star is that... to make my own mother cry..."

Saki instantly held his other hand, intertwining their fingers together. She was biting her lips, certainly for an attempt to not cry either. She took a deep breath, and gently smiled to him.

"Don't say that Tsukasa, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. And now we're all here to help you."

Tsukasa simply sighed. Rui wasn't entirely sure if he was back at his senses or not, it was always difficult to tell. But at least, this time he was answering to other's words, compared to before. Not too long after, the parents came back. The blonde's mother was whipping her tears with tissues, while her husband was gently rubbing her back. She kneeled back down in front of her son, while the father stayed with Rui's mother, standing next to the teenagers. The inventor had not met the star's parents before, and was feeling a bit nervous about it too. Well, it was certainly the worst timing ever, and not really the moment to feel embarrassed or to want to make a good first impression. Well, maybe next time they would be able to properly meet.

"So you are Rui, right?"

Rui jumped in surprise, and turned his face around to look at Tsukasa's father. He was gently smiling at him and sighed:

"I would have preferred to meet you in other circumstances, but I'm glad to finally meet you. Your mother explained everything to us. I don't know how I could thank you for what you do for our son..."

Rui felt his cheeks getting warmer as he smiled in response.

"It's nothing, really. I just hope that he will be alright..."

"Tsukasa Tenma?"

All of them, except Tsukasa, turned their heads to the voice. A doctor had arrived, waiting for the star to follow him. However, the blonde wrapped his arms around Rui's, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. The alchemist could feel how he was shaking violently, desperately holding on his sleeve as if he was about to disappear. His mother tried to reassure him, but he brutally shook his head in panic.

"Please I don't want to- he'll open me up and-"

"Tsukasa I promise he won't do any of this." Tried to reassure Saki, gently rubbing his back. "We'll stay with you."

Rui took a deep breath, and gently pushed the blonde away. Tsukasa's face was a full mess, his stare lost, but managing to look at the director. Rui gently rubbed his cheekbones again, trying to help the blonde to relax.

"Your family will stay with you, they'll keep you safe."

"B-but... why don't you come...? You.."

'You hate me' was certainly what the blonde was about to say.

Rui cut him off with a kiss on his cheek, and softly smiled at the blonde.

"I can't come with you right now, but I'll be there as soon as I can. Your parents and sister will stay with you too. Besides, I still need to get back my cardigan, right? So I will be back, I promise."

Tsukasa's eyes widened in surprise, as he looked down at his own body. To Rui's surprise, he giggled, slightly pulling on his sleeves.

"I even forgot I was wearing it..."

The director smiled, kissing his forehead again. Tsukasa's mother grabbed his hand, and the Tenmas finally left to follow the doctor.

The space felt brutally empty, leaving only Rui and his mom. She sat next to him, and asked while checking the time on her phone:

"Do you want to go home and come back as soon as we can see him? They'll do a lot of tests so it will certainly take a while."

"No it's alright. You can go home if you want, but I'll stay here." Answerd Rui with a weak smile. "Tsukasa always waited for me here, I want to do the same for him."

She nodded, and simply stayed next to him in a comfortable silence. A long time passed, and Rui's heart was starting to beat atrociously fast inside his fragile ribcage. Minutes felt like hours, as if time itself had stopped. Was it what Tsukasa and the others experienced, each time Rui was hospitalised? This was torture... How didn't they turn insane? For Tsukasa, he knew that he was 'alright', if he could even say that. But for him, he was always between life and death, how could they just wait here...?

No wonder that Tsukasa completely lost it now...

He tightened his fists, sniffling as he brought his hand to his face. His mom instantly turned around to look at him, and carefully grabbed his shoulder.

"Rui?"

"S-sorry." Stammered the director, taking a shaky breath. "It's... just overwhelming."

She gently rubbed his back, and asked with a quiet voice:

"Do you want to get some fresh air? It helped his mother a lot, and you have stayed here since a while now."

Rui simply nodded, as he followed his mother outside the hospital. As soon as they were out, the director took a deep breath, or at least as deep as he could manage. His mother was gently rubbing his back, helping him to catch his breath. She softly smiled, and reassured him through her sweet words, repeating how it was going to be alright, that they did the right thing.

But Rui already knew that.

He brutally groaned, feeling another emotion apart from sorrow submerging him.

It was frustration and rage.

"Why can't it just go well?" Suddenly uttered Rui through his shaking voice. "I thought that it was finally over, and yet here we are again. Where did we even screw up? It's... so frustrating."

"It's not something that you can control, things like this happen-"

"But it still is frustrating. I... I just want to be happy with him, and to make him happy too. And now... just look at him!" Rui's voice brutally lowered down, as he hugged himself with his trembling hand. "Should... we stop...? I... don't want to break up with him but... is our relationship even healthy now...?"

Rui's mother's eyes widened in shock, as she immediately grabbed his shoulders, rubbing them softly.

"Sweetheart, please don't say such things. You know how much Tsukasa loves you, and how much you love him in return. Relationships have their ups and downs, it's normal."

"There aren't just ups and downs at this point... Since I caught that stupid disease, everything just went down...! If... if I never fell in love with him then... He wouldn't-"

"Rui please, you know it's not true."

"It is." Retorted the director in frustration, as his tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "He caught Hanahaki Disease because of me. I was so distant that he thought that I didn't love him back. He is traumatised because of Hanahaki Disease, he even is convinced that he still has it! Even after all of this, after being healed, it's still there. And I'm just so exhausted. I just want this disease to leave us alone."

His mother gently hugged him, and whispered.

"Even so, it isn't as if you wished for all of this to happen. It was out of your control. Hanahaki is a disease that you can't avoid. Life is unfair, some people can have really harsh lives, with illnesses, difficult environment, any other awful things, despite all their attempts to live peaceful and honest lives. This is just how it is. Now, all we have to do is learn to live with it. Sometimes you can move on, escape those situations, and sometimes you can't. But now, we can do something about it and help Tsukasa."

Rui sighed, sinking his head into his mother's neck. She gently played with his hair, and softly smiled.

"I know that you are doing your best for him, but it's also important to not keep everything to yourself and to not let those feelings build up inside of you. Let them out and you'll feel better too."

He simply nodded with a deep sigh. His mother waited a bit outside with him, letting her son catch his breath. He still didn't even warn Emu and Nene about the current situation. His mom quickly reassured him, explaining that they'll warn them as soon as possible, and how he needed to also think about himself.

After a little while, they were back at the waiting room. Rui had managed to calm down, and was now waiting for the hours to pass. He had no idea how much time had passed already, but it felt like eternity. His mother was waiting with him, sitting right next to him. He was simply looking at his surroundings, trying to let his thoughts ease.

Unfortunately, even a simple task like this got interrupted.

A brutal scream resonated through the walls of the hospitals, making the patients jump in surprise, while Rui's blood turned cold.

It was Tsukasa's voice.

He immediately stood up, turning his head towards the direction of the voice. His mother instantly held his hand, forcing him to stay still. Rui began to panic, as he tried to let go.

"But- Tsukasa might be hurt!"

"Rui, please stay calm. We are in a hospital, Tsukasa is with his family and doctors. He already has the assistance he needs right now."

"B-but-"

"Please, stay here and wait, we'll know sooner or later what happened." Reassured his mother with a soft smile.

Despite her words, Rui could see in her eyes how nervous she also was. He sighed, and finally sat down. Even if he had managed to calm down, since he heard the blonde's scream, he couldn't help but get anxious again. All he was hoping for, was for Tsukasa to be alright.

More hours passed, he felt exhausted. The sky had already turned dark, as less people could be seen inside the hospital. Rui's head was resting on his mother's shoulder, waking up again from a small slumber. She had asked if he wanted to go home, but he insisted on staying here. He felt his mother gently rubbing his hair when she noticed he had woken up. He stretched his arms with a long sigh, having pins and needles in his legs.

All of a sudden, he heard steps coming their way. He raised his head, and saw Saki, walking to them with a small smile. He immediately stood up, almost running to her.

"How is Tsukasa ?" Brutally asked the alchemist, unable to keep his worries in.

A weak smile drew itself on Saki's face, as she nodded.

"He is fine, mom and dad are with him."

Rui sighed in relief, playing anxiously with his gloves.

"I see... I heard him scream so I was worried."

Saki raised her eyebrows in surprise, and sadly smiled.

"Oh, so you heard? It's a bit long to explain, but he was too agitated, so the doctors had to administer a tranquilliser to calm him down. And... Tsukasa panicked when they took the syringe."

Rui frowned, his eyes falling down to the ground. It was to a point where the doctors had to use a sedative...? He sighed, and asked with hesitation:

"I see... but, do you know what he has?"

Saki nodded again, making Rui jump in surprise. Her face was full of concern, as she gently took his hand.

"I do. It's a lot to take in so we should sit down first."

Rui and his mother followed her instructions, and sat back down on the chairs. Saki seemed nervous about what she was about to tell, but she took yet another deep breath, and began.

"You can see him now, but it's better if you know what's going on before. The doctors still need more time to be sure of their diagnosis, but with all the symptoms, they are pretty sure of his condition. or... should I say, his conditions."

Rui frowned in apprehension, his silence inviting her to continue.

"It's a bit complicated, but... Tsukasa doesn't have one condition, but two. They don't come together, they are in fact two different things. But the doctors think that they have the same origin. The first one may have developed the other, or not at all, they're not entirely sure of it. It's a bit hard to explain, sorry..."

"No it's alright, please continue."

"Well... First of all, Tsukasa... has post traumatic stress disorder." Explained Saki, her hands trembling.

"He... has PTSD?"

"Yes. We explained everything that happened the past months. Tsukasa had tried too, but he was... too out of it to say anything. Your mom had told us about the time when both of you went backstage, and how Tsukasa had some kind of panic attack. They think that Tsukasa may have experienced a flashback from a traumatic event, which is a symptom of PTSD."

Rui's heart stopped.

He hated that he was right. And that trauma was certainly...

"…W-when he discovered my flowers... that I had Hanahaki Disease."

"Yes. PTSD takes a lot of time to develop, and can manifest long after the traumatising event. But... they think that something triggered it as well."

…

He was the one who triggered it.

Because he wanted to perform again.

Rui's face turned pale, as he stared at the ground in shock. He brutally felt Saki's hands on his shoulders, as she reassured him with a soft smile.

"Tsukasa told me about you wanting to perform. I thought about it too." Explained the pianist, as if she could read his thoughts. "But you did nothing wrong, Rui. If it wasn't now, PTSD would have developed later. Tsukasa is traumatised, it's not something that could have just vanished in other circumstances."

Rui's eyes widened, as he weakly nodded. She wasn't wrong, but still... he was responsible for a lot of things. However, Saki quickly shook him away from his thoughts as she added:

"But... it isn't the reason why you brought him here in the first place..."

The director gulped, waiting for the pianist to elaborate.

"Tsukasa will be hospitalised for a few days because he needs treatment for it."

"… A treatment? But what does he have...? Is it a delusion?" Asked the inventor with hesitation.

She nodded, but bit her lips.

"It is. But... It has a special term. He has an acute delirium puff."

"… Acute delirium puff?"

"It is a psychotic disorder. A lot of people mistake it with schizophrenia, but it isn't the same. It can lead to schizophrenia, but this aftermath is rare. It's often temporary, appearing only once, or reappearing later. It's a brutal collapse of psychological defense mechanisms. Scientists aren't still sure on what can precisely cause it, but a really bad lack of sleep is one of the causes, mixed with other things. Since Tsukasa had been having insomnia for a while now, it does work with one of the causes. As for the other one, in Tsukasa's case, they think of extreme anxiety, and a succession of traumatic events. They... think that..."

"… My heat exhaustion triggered it...?" Gasped Rui, feeling the air becoming heavier.

"Yes." Nodded reluctantly the blonde. "We don't really know how he was doing before, but... since he began to hallucinate and... doing nonsense since your heat exhaustion, it is safe to assume that it was the final throw... But acute delirium puff isn't just any kind of delusion. Normally, a delusion has a theme, mechanism, specific symptoms to each of them, such as persecution, megalomania and other ones. On this condition though, it's a complete mess. Tsukasa's hallucinations can be anything, having multiple themes, not making any sense between them... For him, a common theme is around Hanahaki Disease, but it isn't the only thing too. After all, if it was the case, he wouldn't think that people on TV could read his thoughts or being convinced of having a stalker. It makes it harder to avoid, since... We don't really know what could trigger a hallucination. And the doctors don't know all his hallucinations or symptoms yet, so he might be in delusion even when he doesn't look like it."

"I... I see." Replied the director at a loss of words. "He... he will be alright...?"

"Acute delirium puff can be treated. This is the reason why he has to stay in the hospital for a few days. The doctors are administering medicine through an IV to make the delusions stop faster. He'll stay for about a week. But it doesn't mean that he won't be delirious at all after that. He'll have a treatment to take afterwards too. They don't know how long it will last, it depends on each patient."

Rui sighed in relief, but his stare was still stuck at the ground.

"I see, at least he will recover. That is a relief."

"He certainly will. The doctors explained that he may have moments of lucidity, I'm sure that he already did, but perhaps not as strong as it should be. Tsukasa might be really anxious during those moments, so it's best if we don't let him be alone. Furthermore, he might... or should I say, he could harm himself again when he is alone, so we have to be careful about that too." Sighed Saki with worry.

Rui took a deep breath, harder than the previous one. It wasn't as if it surprised him that much, he had figured out about the hallucinations and delusions. But... he didn't think it would be that bad. He didn't really know what he was expecting either, but it made it even scarier. Saki's hold on his hand tightened, as she added with a small smile:

"It's going to be alright, we'll all be there for him. My parents are still with him, they were waiting for me to tell you about all we know. Do you want to see him?"

Even if the director was feeling anxious, he nodded.

He needed to see the blonde. Furthermore, he promised it to him.

He followed her to the corridor, soon reaching the star's room. His mother was following behind them, leaving some room for the teenagers. They didn't take too much time to arrive, as the pianist opened the door. Rui didn't have the time to see inside, that he felt his mother gently patting his shoulder.

"I'll be waiting for you outside, take your time."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but nodded. He quickly followed Saki, and entered the room. Tsukasa's parents were next to the bed, talking with their son. The blonde was laying down, seemingly calmer than before. It was certainly due to the sedative, making the alchemist heart ache at the thought. As soon as the parents noticed Rui's presence, they turned around and walked to him with shaking smiles.

"We'll leave you some space, we'll be right back. We're going to bring some of his belongings in the meantime."

Before he could answer anything, the parents left the room, quickly followed by Saki. Once the door closed behind him, the couple were alone. He was glad to have some time with the star, but it also felt atrociously nervous. The blonde was staring at him with a lost stare, feeling almost disturbing. However, Rui didn't know if it was because of the eyes alone, or because he knew what was happening to him. He shook his thoughts away, and sat next to the bed. The blonde softly smiled, as he reached his hand out to the director, cupping his face.

"You're pretty."

Rui's eyes widened in surprise, as he softly chuckled. Well, if Tsukasa was becoming delirious by the sedative, they wouldn't see the end of it.

"You're the one who's pretty, my star."

The blonde softly smiled, his eyes still scanning the director's face. A quiet sigh escape his lips, as he murmured with sadness:

"I'm sorry... you cried."

The inventor gasped in surprise. Were his eyes still red from earlier? He slowly shook his head, and answered as he cupped the star's face.

"It's alright, it's not a big deal. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

The star frowned, certainly not accepting that response. However, he obliged and answered as he avoided his stare.

"I'm confused."

"… Confused?" Repeated the director, surprised to not hear the usual 'I don't know'.

His surprise only got worse by the blonde's explanation.

"I don't understand why I'm here."

The inventor's blood turned cold. He knew now that he shouldn't really take Tsukasa's affirmations too seriously now, considering that it was only the delusion talking. But the blonde wasn't lying, he was convinced, and it made it worse. The star continued with a frown, moving his hand away from Rui to cross his arms:

"I shouldn't be here. I even wasted yet another training session with Toya and Emu to learn how to compose music. We don't have the time for this! We have a show to prepare! And what are they even saying? I'm not crazy or losing my mind. They are the ones that are out of their minds!"

Rui sadly sighed, remaining silent. He had no idea what to answer to this. He knew that he shouldn't contradict him, but he shouldn't acknowledge his words either. Talking with Tsukasa now felt like walking on eggshells. The star turned his head again towards the director, as his expression switched to nervousness.

"You don't believe them, right? You... don't think I'm crazy, right? Because I'm not! This is nonsense! They are just being ridiculous! I shouldn't stay here-"

"You're not crazy Tsukasa, I promise." Replied the director, trying to find the correct words. "It's just a bit complicated."

He wasn't crazy at all, it was true. He was a victim of delirium, which was something totally different. However, the inventor's answer didn't seem to please the star, who frowned, turning his head to the other side.

Suddenly, Rui heard a sob.

Tsukasa was hiding his face with his hands, squirming on his bed.

"Stop it! I'm not crazy- he doesn't hate me...he... he doesn't..."

Rui had not said anything.

And yet Tsukasa was imploring someone.

His brutal switch of mood made the situation even more confusing, but it was certainly even worse for the blonde himself. Tsukasa threw another glance at the director, almost imploring him with his golden eyes.

"Rui, please don't listen to him. I'm not crazy."

Chapter Text

Tsukasa hated silence. And yet it was what was surrounding him at the moment. He was laying down on the hospital bed, staring at the window. It felt as if he never had left this cold place to begin with, trapped again between the white walls.

But he didn't understand.

Why was he there?

Of course he had heard the doctor's words, after hours of tests and exams to understand what he had. But it didn't make any sense.

Why did he even have to do all those tests ? Everything was fine. He didn't have anything.

He couldn't be delirious.

They were the one out of their minds.

He could simply get out of the bed and leave, but his arm was attached to an IV, and his body was too exhausted to even try running away anyway. Nurses would often come to his room, checking on him, bringing food, anything.

But he wasn't hungry either.

Apart from leaving this place, he didn't know what he wanted.

Where would he even go?

His head was a full mess.

All their words were just lies, of course they would leave you rotting here.

It wasn't true. They couldn't just come now...

You know, it always has been like this. They just found a way to get rid of you.

Tsukasa turned on his side, covering his ears with his hands.

He had to stop to talk.

But despite his attempt, his voice didn't stop.

The further he talked, the more familiar he sounded.

It was as if he was whispering in his ear, making him shiver from fear.

But he was right.

After all, nobody was there.

Not even his parents, not even Toya, not even Saki, not even Emu, not even Nene...

Not even Rui.

He was alone.

Alone.

Again.

Alone

As always.

All alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone all alone-

All of a sudden, the door opened, making Tsukasa jump in surprise and fear. He was about to hide behind his blanket, but he saw familiar faces entering the room. He gasped, his eyes widening.

Saki, Toya and Emu were coming into his room. The dancer was carrying a really impressive bag, while the girls ran to the blonde with huge smiles. The star's mind was suddenly blurry, as he felt warm arms gently hugging him. He instantly recognised the comforting smell of his sister's parfum, and unconsciously leaned into the touch. He couldn't hear anything, it was as if his mind had shut down for a brief moment. He felt her soft hand gently rubbing his head, as his own heartbeat started to slow down. He didn't even realise how fast it was going before realising when it speed was changing.

After a little while, his senses were coming back, allowing him to hear a few voices. They were quiet, not louder than a whisper. A part of his mind felt relaxed, while the other was begging to scream.

They're talking behind your back.

They're ashamed of you, don't you see?

"How are you Tsukasa? I hope the day wasn't too long!" Suddenly a high-pitched voice echoed through the empty room.

The blonde raised his eyes, trying to find the person into the space, but his vision was blurry. Only a silhouette could be seen.

It was none of the visitors.

It was someone else.

It was him.

He was staring at him with an apathetic look.

Tsukasa tried to reach his hand to him, but suddenly felt warm hands cupping his face. A calm and soft voice resonated through the space, sounding more and more intelligible.

"Tsukasa? I'm right here, can you look at me?"

The blonde was finally able to move his eyes to his free will, looking back to the person who was talking to him. It was Saki who was right in front of him, cupping his face. She softly smiled with a small sigh, removing her hands from his face to hold his own instead.

"How are you feeling?"

How was he feeling?

He didn't really know, why asking that in the first place?

He simply smiled with a bit of confusion and nodded. Before the visitors could say anything else, he pulled the rug from under them and asked with confusion:

"What are you doing here?"

The two others seemed surprised, but Emu replied with her cheering voice:

"We wanted to pay you a visit after school! We can't practice without our shiny shiny star on stage! So if you can't go to practice, rehearsal will come to you instead!"

Tsukasa raised his eyebrows in surprise, even more confused than before. Toya softly smiled, approaching the bed with his impressive bag. As soon as he opened it, the star gasped in surprise.

"A synthetiser...? Wait- Saki's?!"

"You wanted to learn how to compose music, right? So we can do that here. We already asked the permission from the doctors, and they agreed at the condition to not raise the volume too much." Explained Toya, carefully putting the instrument on the star's lap.

"You can keep it too during your stay here. I'm sure that the other patients would love to hear your incredible songs!" Happily retorted Saki with enthusiasm.

Tsukasa was even more confused and lost.

He didn't know how he was supposed to feel, he was thrilled, but at the same time perplexed.

He didn't know why his feelings were so disturbing and messed up.

You are such an ungrateful person.

I wonder how they can still stay by your side.

Tsukasa quickly shook his head, as he looked down at the instrument. He raised back his head to his sister, and asked with a weak smile:

"But you need it, right?"

"It's alright, there is one at the studio where we practice and record!" Immediately replied the twintail girl, guiding her brother's hands to the keys. "I know how you prefer to play on mom's piano, and the more classical ones, so we adjusted the settings for your liking! Here, try it!"

Tsukasa hesitated, a bit taken aback. His mind was completely empty, as his chest felt tight, as if he was about to suffocate. He could see his own hands starting to tremble without any reason. He wasn't the type to have stage fright though, so why was he so hesitant?

Because you are going to make a fool of yourself.

They just have pity.

No one would ever care.

As they never did.

All of a sudden, a little note reached his ear. He quickly looked beside him, where Emu was. Before he could realise it, the pink-haired girl was sitting right next to him on the bed, playing a few notes on the piano. She giggled and explained with her bright smile:

"Saki taught me this little tune! She told me it was the one that you teached her as a kid! It's so Wonderhoy!! It's also the one you played as Trope, right?"

Tsukasa's eyes widened.

He softly giggled, as his fingers began to move on their own. Slowly, delicately, they began to hit the piano's keys, as the notes flew into the air. It was soft and delicate, but not as precious as it would have sounded on his mother's piano. But still, the little melody resonated, while Toya and Saki were staring at Tsukasa with sparkles in their eyes. The star's own stare was totally different. It was soft, as he was simply looking down at the instrument, as a small and shy smile drew itself on his face. A really thin one, that would be way too timid for a bright star like him.

But still, his heart felt warmer.

"You played it well, you just missed an octave. You have to start on this note here." Explained calmly the leader, showing to his friend the correct way to play the song.

Emu was staring at his hands with admiration, analysing each of his movements, while his fingertips were dancing without any difficulty. The room was completely silent, only filled by the sound of Tsukasa's melody. Twinkle star, such a nostalgic song, that still made his heart fluster.

After a little while, he finally stopped. He brutally gasped, brought back into reality.

"Ah! Excuse me, I got a bit carried away-"

"It's alright Tsukasa, it's always a pleasure to hear you play the piano." Reassured Toya with a comforting smile

"A-anyway! Let's start working on our original song!" Uttered the blonde with his face starting to burn up, realising how he had lost himself in the song.

The younger ones giggled, as each of them began to work. Toya had brought a book, writing the notes and melodies on it, and letting Tsukasa and Saki play them on the piano on his behalf. The blonde had asked multiple times if it was alright with the dancer, since he knew how he felt about this specific instrument. However, Toya kept on reassuring him, declaring that everything was fine as long as he wasn't the one playing it. Emu on the other hand, was giving extravagant ideas, as her own unique language was guiding the musicians through her numerous imitations. It was certainly a lot more laborious, but it was still productive, and Tsukasa found himself relaxing, giggling with his siblings and friends.

During the lesson, he had improvised a bit, allowing himself to sing a few songs while the others would listen to him with admiration. The star felt butterflies inside his stomach, as the piano's melody filled some holes inside his torn mind. He wasn't used to play in front of an audience, the piano was more like a catharsis for him. And yet, he found it strangely warm and comfortable, seeing how his tunes were bringing smiles to those he cherished most.

It was temporary, certainly, but still he felt as if he could finally breathe.

And this was all he needed at the moment.

**

School had ended, allowing Emu, Toya and Saki to visit Tsukasa. Meanwhile, Rui was in his workshop, working on the Pegasus yet again. The star's younger sister had kindly brought it to him while the blonde was at the hospital, in order to let the director update it again. As much as he loved working on his creations, he was feeling guilty to not be by the star's side.

He will visit him, of course, but not today.

Emu and Nene had begged him to simply relax for the day. The pink-haired girl was by the blonde's side, while the gamer was by Rui's. All of them needed a break, and they perfectly knew how draining it was to look after someone in delusion. The director was aware of it as well, but he simply couldn't help it.

Working on the Pegasus was one of the only ways to force his mind to rest.

Nene was helping as much as she could, bringing tools to the director, or simply staying by his side, and it was enough. She also prepared a few snacks, worried that the alchemist would starve himself otherwise, too immersed into his work to pay attention to his stomach. The garage was silent, peaceful...

Until a bright voice broke that peace.

Mizuki entered the workshop with a wide grin and enthusiasm, making the other two jump in surprise.

"Hi hi! Yours truly has arrived!"

Nene sighed, almost crushing her phone by surprise, while Rui smiled back at his friend. The stylist sat right next to the director, giving him a USB key:

"There! You can listen to the tracks and choose which ones you prefer."

"Thank you Mizuki, that is really kind of you." Uttered Rui with gratitude, as he plugged the device into his laptop.

Rui had already put multiple music tracks in the Pegasus, but he figured that more couldn't hurt either. He wanted it to be as diversified as possible, to let the blonde listen to a specific song depending on the situation, mood, and what he would need. Maybe it wasn't too much, but it was the least he could do for the star. The songs were resonating through to his speakers, contrasting with how silent the room was a few minutes ago. Nene stopped playing her game, as she found herself intrigued by the tracks playing. They were delicate, full of emotions, and sometimes soft, and some others were more harsh and powerful. Mizuki giggled as they noticed how the two performers were slowly bouncing their heads to the rhythm, seemingly enjoying the music.

"It's... really impressive." Suddenly said Nene, as her voice blended within the songs.

"Your friend made those?" Asked Rui with curiosity, as Mizuki nodded proudly.

"Absolutely! She is really talented, she's the one who composes our songs." Explained the stylist with a gentle smile. "She really knows how to put feelings into her music. She really does overwork herself but it's something important for her too."

"That is really amazing and inspiring." Chuckled Rui, as a new track was being played. "Are you sure that it is fine if I put her songs in the robot?"

"Of course, I asked her for her permission! As a matter of fact, she also did a track especially for Tsukasa."

Rui and Nene jumped in surprise, as they looked with widened eyes at the video editor.

"She did? In such a short period of time? She really didn't need too-"

"I didn't ask her, but when I explained the situation, she wanted to be able to help." Elaborated the pink-haired designer with a smirk. "I told her myself, but she insisted. Saving and helping people with songs means a lot to her, so..."

The two actors hummed in reply, understanding what they meant. Each melody was unique, making Rui's heart fluster. He hoped that each of them could reach the blonde in any way. Nene sat next to the inventor, looking at the long list of songs on his laptop. She was reading every titles, until she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh, you didn't add Deep Sea Girl?"

Rui's smile suddenly faded, as he sadly sighed. He awkwardly rubbed his neck, answering with a weaker voice:

"Well... I'm not really sure if I should add it. This song has a really special meaning for me, and it always makes my heart shiver when I listen to it now. I can only think about our waltz and how Tsukasa saved me. But... this is how I recall it. But as for Tsukasa..."

"Oh... I see where you are getting at." Sighed in return Nene, playing nervously with her hair. "Tsukasa was really stressed at that time, he was literally running everywhere, and you can't even imagine how hard he had worked on this... So he probably doesn't feel the same about this song than you do."

"Exactly. With his condition now, I prefer to avoid any trigger. I'm not sure if this song would bring him back sweet memories, or his awful anxiety instead. After all, it was certainly a lot of pressure for him, too much for a single person..." Elaborated Rui, holding the Pegasus softly in his hands. "I can't even imagine the amount of anxiety he had been feeling at that time, since both of our lives were literally on the line. Looking back, I'm even ashamed of myself for not realising it sooner. I was too blinded to consider how it had been for Tsukasa, and how he still carried all that weight of pressure and expectations... I was just so relieved, and persuaded that the worst was behind us, but..."

Nene softly patted his shoulder, looking at him with a comforting smile. However despite her tries, Rui could see how her eyes were filled with concern and fear, just as much as himself.

"It was really difficult, and I still tremble when I think about it." Admitted timidly the diva. "It takes time to move on, and sometimes we just... never do. But it's alright too. We just need to find our right pace, and learn how to live and deal with it. I know that I'm repeating myself but... we are all here for you, just as you are here for us."

Rui softly smiled, and nodded. Even if she kept on repeating those words of reassurance, they always felt warm. Besides, being reminded of such a simple fact never hurted. A thought suddenly came back into his mind, as he turned around to look at Mizuki.

"That reminds me, there is a favor that I wanted to ask, if you don't mind."

"I was sure that you didn't simply call me here to get Kanade's music when I could have sent it online~" Smirked the stylist with an amused tone.

Rui quickly grabbed a sketchbook nearby, and handed it over to the stylist. They opened it, looking into it with curiosity. It was full with notes from their scripts, as well as messy sketches. The director began to explain his request, pointing at a few pages to illustrate his words.

"As you may know, Tsukasa is the one who designs and creates our costumes. However in his condition, I doubt that he will be able to, or have the time to work on it. He is already working on our music with Emu after all. So I was wondering if you would accept to lend us a hand, and work on a few costumes?"

Mizuki raised their eyebrows in surprise, looking quickly into the script. They hummed, but their face flinched a bit with a bittersweet smile.

"I wouldn't mind, but this is a lot of work. I don't know if I'll have the time to do it."

"It's alright, I understand if you don't have any time." Replied the director, suddenly taking the book to open it at a specific page. "I was mostly thinking about Tsukasa's costume as Alice from Alice in Wonderland. It isn't really his domain of expertise, and I know that it is yours. So I was hoping that you could help. But if you can't, it's alright."

"Wait... Tsukasa is going to play as Alice?!" Brutally screamed Mizuki, their face suddenly filled with excitement. "Are you saying that he is going to wear a dress, Alice's dress?"

Rui evilly smirked, and suddenly sadly cried with crocodile tears.

"Absolutely. But aaah.... you are too busy to work on Tsukasa's dress... I understand, we'll find another solution. Such a shame, knowing your incredible skills, you would have been able to make the most outstanding costume ever."

Mizuki instantly frowned, crossing their arms with a pout.

"You know, you don't need to manipulate me into doing your chores. You just need to go straight to the point."

Rui raised his eyebrows in surprise. He didn't have the time to say anything, Mizuki giggled with a bright smile and enthusiasm:

"Of course I will do Tsukasa's dress !This is a life-time opportunity. Your Tsukasa will be the prettiest and cutest Alice ever!"

"Thank you for your help, I was certain that you would look forward to it." Smiled the director with amusement.

Mizuki was absolutely skilled in sewing, so he had no worries. Well, they were certainly going to get carried away and use the poor blonde as their doll, but he couldn't deny the fact that it made him curious too. Tsukasa would look absolutely amazing for sure.

But at the same time, Rui couldn't help but wonder if their show would be able to be held in the first place.

After all, was the star really capable of performing in his current state ? Wasn't it too bold to let him go along with it ? They couldn't know for sure yet. They were certainly going to figure it out during practice. For now, it wasn't their priority anyway. Tsukasa's well being was.

**

Rui swallowed back his saliva with anxiety. He was standing in front of Tsukasa's hospital room, taking a few deep breaths. As he promised to the girls, he didn't see the blonde the day before. He was already craving his soft touches and voice as if they were apart for months. But despite that, another worry was building inside his mind.

Tsukasa certainly did interpret his absence the wrong way.

Even if it had been only for a day, the director couldn't even imagine how the delusion would affect the poor blonde. He had to prepare himself mentally at whatever nonsense the star was going to let out. 'Don't take it personal, it's not what Tsukasa truly thinks', he murmured those words to himself. He finally let a deep sigh out, and opened the door.

Tsukasa was sitting down on the bed, his stare lost, as usual now. However, he brutally realised that someone had entered the room, as he turned his head around and gasped in surprise.

"Rui...?"

The director softly smiled, approaching the other to sit on the chair next to the bed. Tsukasa was following him by sight, as his facial expression was difficult to read. The inventor knew that the star had certainly misunderstood his lack of visit for the spend of a day. It was only a day, nothing more, nothing less. He needed that break, and Tsukasa may have needed it too. However in the mind of someone in delusion, such a simple fact might be harder to comprehend, if not impossible.

Just as he had guessed, unfortunately, Tsukasa was avoiding his stare, playing nervously with his fingers. Before Rui could say anything, the blonde finally broke the silence with hesitation:

"Why... didn't you come yesterday?"

Of course.

Rui sighed and softly smiled, trying his best to sound and seem as gentle as possible.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't be here yesterday, I was working on something for you."

Tsukasa raised his eyebrows in surprise and confusion at Rui's words. The director softly smiled, and opened his bag. Then, he happily waved the Pegasus in the air, making the star gasp.

"Hoshi!"

"Hoshi?" Repeated the director, being the surprised one now.

Tsukasa happily took the robot from the inventor's hands, his mood brutally switching from empty to pure bless. He proudly laughed, showing off the Pegasus as he made it take a few poses with its paws.

"Yes! A perfect name for a star like him! I couldn't just call him 'star' after all. It does suit him perfectly! Well, I thought about other names but this one was more simple."

Rui softly chuckled, finding the fact that Tsukasa named the Pegasus really adorable. Now that he was thinking about it, the blonde did name his plushies back as a kid, like the bunny 'Usagi' in the SEKAI, even if the star had explained that Saki was the one who named it like this. It seemed that it was a habit that he had kept throughout the years, just as the lullaby.

Rui couldn't help but also felt unease despite his concern starting to fade away. As welcomed as Tsukasa's bright smile was, the fact that he switched in just a few seconds made it feel disturbing. But he couldn't help it, it wasn't the star's fault. He brushed those thoughts away, and finally explained the features he added, as the blonde was staring at the plush with admiration.

"I added a few songs from one of Mizuki's friends. They are really beautiful, I hope that you will enjoy them. I also added a new feature for the light. The Pegasus-"

"Hoshi."

"… Yes Hoshi, can now project light, just like a projector. Allow me to demonstrate."

Rui softly reached to the robot, pressing on a paw. Then, light came out of the Pegasus' eyes, illuminating the room with a soft light, just like a starry night. The director's hours of work were worth it as he noticed how the blonde's eyes were full of sparkles, admiring the white ceiling filled with stars. Rui would do anything for that bright smile, for the love of his life.

Maybe it was silly, but he was already planning multiple dates that he could bring Tsukasa to, to make him the happiest boy on earth. Tsukasa finally looked away from the ceiling, to redirect his stare to his boyfriend.

"Thank you Rui, this is really beautiful."

Rui softly smiled, kissing the blonde's cheek.

"Anything for you my dear."

The star giggled, happily holding the Pegasus against his chest. Rui carefully sat on the bed next to his star, and began to gently pat his head. The star unconsciously leaned on the touch, keeping the plush close to himself. He was staring at it, examining any trait and detail.

Tsukasa seemed at peace, but Rui knew it wasn't truly the case.

It felt like walking on eggshells, but it was fine. It wasn't Tsukasa's fault after all, and considering everything he had done for him, it wasn't a bother at all. Rui's stare travelled in the room, noticing multiple items that Tsukasa's family certainly brought for him. He could see other plushies, sketchbooks, and most importantly...

"Oya~ so Saki did give you her synthesiser."

Rui's words woke the blonde up from his thoughts, as he looked back at the instrument with a faint smile.

"She did. She came yesterday with Emu and Toya to teach me how to compose music."

The director acted as if he had no clue at all, allowing the blonde to elaborate and to talk about his day. He noticed how the star's smile felt more genuine as soon as he was talking about his friend and siblings. He was giggling, explaining how Toya and Saki were trying to translate Emu's jargon. During their talk, Rui couldn't help but look at the instrument next to the bed. It didn't take too much time for the blonde to notice as well, looking back at the synthesiser. The director suddenly asked, as he gently held the star's hand.

"If it doesn't bother you, could you play the piano for me? I would love to hear it."

Tsukasa jumped in surprise, his face brutally burning up. He stammered on his words, as his free hand was nervously holding tightly his sheets. He suddenly proudly laughed, even if it sounded a bit shaky, making his face look even more embarrassed than before.

"W-well- I mean who wouldn't love to hear the World's Future star playing on the piano? Ha ha ha! W-well since I'm this kind, I'll accept to grant your wish..."

Rui softly chuckled, as he got up from the bed to take the instrument. He sat back next to the blonde, carefully putting the piano on both of their legs. Tsukasa took a deep breath, but as soon as he was about to play, he stopped and looked back at the director with his bright smile, mixed with nervousness.

"S-so... what would you want me to play...?"

The inventor was lost in the blonde's eyes. Of course he had seen him embarrassed and flustered so many times that he had lost count, but it always amazed him how shy the star was about piano. After all, it was an impressive skill, and no doubt that Tsukasa was the best pianist he had ever met. Knowing the star, he would have proudly claimed his talents, screaming them on any rooftop. However, he never did such a thing when it was about piano. If he had never played Trope, Rui wasn't even sure if he would have known about his impressive skills. He wouldn't waste any opportunity to show off, but this felt quite surprising. Furthermore, Rui knew perfectly that it had nothing to do with his delusion or PTSD, Tsukasa had always been like this regarding the piano.

He wondered why...

"R-Rui...? S-so... which song...?"

Rui brutally jolted in surprise, looking back at the blonde. He awkwardly chuckled, and answered after leaving a peck on the star's cheek.

"Sorry, I was lost in thoughts. To answer you, anything is fine. So play anything you want."

Tsukasa raised his eyebrows in surprise, and finally complied. He took a deep breath, and began to play. As soon as the first notes were rising in the air, Rui immediately recognised the blonde's lullaby. It was smooth, tender, soft, but also melancholic. Rui found himself staring at the blonde's face, as his soft smile couldn't fade away on his face. Meanwhile, the blonde looked at peace as well, as his delicate and long fingers were dancing weightlessly. Why would the blonde play in secret, when his music was this breathtaking? Rui would do anything to listen and watch him play the piano. The fake starry night in the ceiling made this sight even more dreamy, as if the star was an entity himself, an angel fallen from heaven. It was such a sight to behold, the prettiest he had ever seen.

After a few minutes, Rui noticed how the star's fingers were starting to shake. Before he could say anything at all, Tsukasa stopped his hands with a long sigh.

The director's eyes travelled down, as he held his sigh in. Of course, such a dreamy sight couldn't be held forever in such a cold place. He carefully held his other's hand to gently rub his knuckles, as he asked with a calmed tone:

"Are you alright? Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Tsukasa sniffled, as the sparkles in his eyes were vanishing as quickly as they appeared. He avoided his stare, and answered with a mumble:

"You... Y-you weren't supposed to come... and now you brought this amazing gift for me...You listen to me play the piano... e-even though you..."

Rui sighed. Of course the delusion would have shown its head sooner or later. He carefully wrapped his arm around the blonde in order to get him closer to himself.

But something did catch his attention within the blonde's sentence.

'You weren't supposed to come.'

His curious mind took over him, as he asked with a soft tone:

"I'm sorry if I weren’t able to come yesterday. But what do you mean by that? How wasn't I supposed to come?"

Tsukasa avoided his stare again, seemingly hesitating to answer. He looked at the window, as his body tensed.

Was it the stalker again?

"Tsukasa, everything's fine, you're safe-"

"It's not that." Brutally cut the blonde, looking down at the piano with his unfocused eyes. "It's... it's just that..."

Rui softly rubbed his shoulder, trying to appease the blonde. He could feel how his body was trembling slightly under his hold. Tsukasa threw a glance at the window again, and finally explained with a quiet tone, as if he didn't want to be heard.

"He told me that you wouldn't come."

...

He?

Rui frowned. It wasn't the 'stalker' at all. Tsukasa always referred to that mysterious individual as 'them'.

And it was also what he had said when he was hospitalised. He didn't say 'them' back then.

Maybe he shouldn't dig too much into it, but understanding better what hallucinations the blonde was having could help to avoid them or to assist him in a better way, right? With hesitation, he asked, staring at his boyfriend to examine his facial expression:

"Do you know who he is?"

Tsukasa stared back at the director with shock. However, he lowered his head again, slowly shaking it.

"I'm not sure if I do."

… not sure?

Someone he had forgotten about maybe?

However, Rui quickly noticed how Tsukasa was beginning to be even more absent, seemingly dissociating. It was certainly best to push him away of his thoughts to get him back into reality, but-

"He told me you weren't coming, and that you never will. So I was surprised that you did. I... don't really understand why you came."

"Tsu-"

"B-because... you weren't supposed to come... because you hate me... and..."

Rui raised his hand to cup his face, but stopped as soon as he saw Tsuaksa flinching, almost making the synthesizer fall on the ground by his brutal gesture.

"S-sorry! Don't slap me I-"

"Tsukasa I'm not going to hit you-"

"That's a lie!" Brutally shouted out Tsukasa, hiding his face behind his hands. "You already did it before! Because- because you hated me- and you have all rights to do so! I'm pathetic, worthless... I-I couldn't even save you I-"

The director froze.

…

Oh god.

Was Tsukasa... referencing to...?

Rui felt something shatter inside his heart at this realisation. He sadly sighed, carefully taking the instrument to put it on the ground. Tsukasa on the other hand, was still shivering, quietly sobbing behind his trembling hands. The inventor could hear his endless apologies, as he was trying hopelessly to wipe his face. The inventor wrapped back his waist, carefully pushing him against his shoulder. Tsukasa raised his eyes in anticipation, as Rui gently murmured:

"Everything's fine, I won't hurt you I promise."

The blonde was shaking, but staring back at the inventor. Then, Rui began to describe each of his movements, appeasing the star.

"I'm going to cup your cheek to wipe your tears. If you don't want me to touch your face, tell me and I won't, I promise."

The star's mouth was agape, as he firmly closed his eyes in anticipation. Then softly, Rui cupped his face, feeling the star tremble from fear. He gently hummed, kissing delicately his forehead.

"There, everything's fine."

"B-but.. he... he told me that..."

The inventor gently rubbed his back in a circle, trying to get Tsukasa back into reality. He did remember a few pieces of advice from Saki and the doctors, and tried to apply them.

"Tsukasa, do you remember what we were doing?"

The blonde's eyes travelled up to meet his own. They were full of confusion, mixed with their usual emptiness. Then, his stare began to travel into the room, unfocused. Rui tried again to catch his attention by rubbing softly his cheekbone.

"Sweetheart, can you tell me what we were doing?"

Tsukasa brutally turned his face around as he heard the new pet name, and looked down at the table nearby. Then he hesitantly answered, as his tears were finally stopping to fall down his cheeks.

"We... were talking about shows...?"

Rui frowned. The star's mind and memory seemed to be in total disarray. He tried to keep his calm, as he gently shook his head.

"No, we weren't talking about shows. You were doing something for me, do you remember?"

Tsukasa's stare seemed unfocused, but Rui knew that he was trying to recollect his memory and thoughts. However, he shook his head again as he began to panic.

"I... I don't remember I-"

"It's alright Tsukasa, everything's fine." Reassured the director, gently kissing the top of his head as he held him tighter.

He began to softly hum, and that's precisely when the blonde brutally screamed. He suddenly raised his head, almost hitting Rui in the process.

"THE PIANO!" Shouted out Tsukasa in sweat. "I-it was the piano! I was playing the piano-"

The director gently rubbed his calp with a soft smile, pushing him back against his shoulder.

"Yes that's right, you were playing the piano for me. Maybe we should continue where we left off, what do you think?"

The blonde stared at him, and sighed as he sank back into Rui's shoulder, snuggling against it. The director raised his eyebrows in surprise, as he gently moved the star's strand of hair behind his ear.

"You don't want to?"

"I don't know..." Replied the star with a quiet tone. "I like playing the piano but... I don't really know myself."

Rui sighed, gently passing his fingers through his golden locks. His delusion was really messing with his head, and it made the inventor's heart ache at this realisation. He hoped that the treatment would take effect soon to bring his precious bright star back. He softly kissed his cheek, and asked with a murmur:

"Have you been able to sleep these past few days?"

Tsukasa immediately shook his head, melting into the other's touch. Rui carefully tightened his hold, as he kissed the tip of his nose.

"Maybe you should try to take a little nap. I won't go away, I promise."

The blonde looked at him with surprise and confusion, while Rui took the Pegasus and gave it back to the blonde after turning it off. Tsukasa didn't have any time to utter anything, so Rui continued with a comforting smile.

"When you’ll be discharged, I'll spend the night with you. What do you think? You sleep better when I'm here, right? And then, I'll bring you to wonderful places where we can have the most outstanding and amazing dates, just for you."

Tsukasa tiredly giggled, as he looked down at the Pegasus that he was holding tightly against his chest.

"What kind of dates were you thinking about?"

Rui's heart fluttered as soon as he heard the quiet laugh, and his small smile. It wasn't as genuine as usual, but it was there. He held on this thin thread, as he began to explain with a joyful tone to appease his boyfriend.

"Any place known to mankind of course! But now since we are in summer, I was thinking about going to the beach, that could be great. And an amusement park of course, that goes without saying!"

Tsukasa chuckled as he sank against Rui's shoulder, his eyelids feeling heavier.

"The beach? Your first date was at an aquarium, and now the ocean, you really like water, just like Nene."

"Oh it is simply a coincidence. As a matter of fact, Mizuki was the one who suggested the aquarium to me." Admitted Rui with a smirk, making the other gasp in surprise.

"Akiyama knew this whole time?!"

"Not precisely. They figured out about my 'obvious' crush on you, but they weren't aware of the-"

Rui stopped himself, and continued as if nothing happened.

"As I was saying, the beach could be really great, or a swimming pool, but it sounds less romantic."

"Hm... it does sound nice. I would like it." Yawned the blonde, melting against Rui's chest.

With that, the blonde fell asleep, letting himself be taken away to dreamland. The director gently kissed his forehead, as he carefully pushed back the Pegasus on the star's arms, which was starting to slip off his light hold. If he could, he would absolutely stay for the night, but he knew that he wasn't allowed to sleep in the hospital. He looked at the star's IV, wondering how long it was going to last until he would feel better. But it was alright, it would take as much time as needed, and he was going to stay by his side during all of it. He looked down at the blonde, as he gently kissed his cheek.

"I love you, my little star."

Chapter Text

A few days had passed, and Tsukasa was still hospitalised. The doctors had reassured the others, telling them that he should be discharged soon and continuing the treatment through specific medication. In the meantime, Rui was having a small meeting with Emu and Nene, discussing the blonde's mental health. The director was writing down in a sketchbook, recollecting everything that happened.

"Alright, so... for the PTSD, Tsukasa has to avoid going backstage to not trigger him."

"But what are we going to do during the show? He must be backstage at some point." Retorted Nene with worry.

"Maybe we can try to decorate it and move the furniture around! If it doesn't look the same, it might help?"

"Hm... we can always try that. Otherwise, maybe we should prepare a temporary one behind the stage, outside. Just like some stand. Or Tsukasa may have to stay on stage during the whole play, and simply hide behind curtains... After all, he is the main character, so it might work as well." Thought out loud the director with a low humming. "Even if it may work by simply decorating the room, I prefer to not risk anything. I don't want him to go through this again..."

Nene nodded with a small sigh, looking back at the sketchbook.

"We don't know anything else linked to his PTSD?"

"Well, the thing is that his PTSD is also linked with his acute delirium puff, so triggers from his delusion might actually be his PTSD too... it's a bit hard to tell, but backstage is the most obvious trigger, as well as flowers in general." Explained the director, pensive.

"The doctors advised us to list down his hallucinations and other delusions, right?" Asked the pink-haired girl with curiosity. "To track their evolution to see how he is recovering, and how to help him?"

"Exactly." Replied her girlfriend, her tone getting slower with nervousness and uneasiness. "I remember when Rui was hospitalised. I had seen Tsukasa at school and he seemed really absent. And when I talked about Rui being hospitalised, he was surprised. He didn't know that Rui was in the hospital..."

Rui raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had never heard of this event, and wrote it down in his sketchbook. He tried to remember what the blonde had said before regarding himself, in order to find some kind of explanation.

"Oh, I think I may know the reason why." Suddenly retorted the director, writing down . "He thought that I had passed away after my heat exhaustion. This explains his confusion when Nene said that I was hospitalised."

"Oh, that does make more sense. But it is a surprise that he quickly accepted the fact that you were indeed alright."

"I guess that seeing me right in front of him couldn't really let the benefice of the doubt. However, he seemed to still be confused after a few days. When he called me a few days ago, he wanted to make sure that I was real. So I suppose that his thoughts are simply a pure mess."

"I see!" Retorted Emu, looking at the book Rui was writing on. "This probably goes to the 'Rui' category then!"

"… Rui category?" Uttered back the director with a bit of confusion.

Nene nodded with a sad look, pointing at what the director had written.

"Yes, it seems that some of his hallucinations are linked to you. But at the same time, the way to help him through this is by your presence."

"Hm... you are right." Admitted Rui with guilt. "One of his delusions is how he is convinced that he still has Hanahaki Disease. He... beat himself up, literally, to force himself to throw up and cough. I don't know how he managed to recover when it happened when he was alone, but when I'm here I still managed to make him stop. Hmm...."

The director continued to write down, creating different categories for each hallucination and delusion. He hummed, reading what he had come up with.

"Alright, with the most important delusions, there is Hanahaki Disease, where we can put the 'Rui' category in, and there's another one with the stalker thing. There is also 'Him', but we don't know enough about it yet."

"Hm? What is the last one?" Asked the diva, confused.

"I don't really know myself, for now I guessed that it is another fictional character." Explained Rui, drawing down on the book to make it more clear to understand. "He had always referred to the stalker as 'them', which means that it's a really strong hallucination, but not enough to make it identifiable. I think that he uses these pronoms because he doesn't know who they are, and not for self identification. They are more like an unknown menace. I don't really know what triggers it yet, but I talked about it with Aoyagi and Shinonome, and they confirmed that when I was hospitalised, Tsukasa might have gone through this specific hallucination. He was panicking and explaining how someone wanted to harm him, which fits with the stalker. I don't know what triggers it though. As for 'him', he knows that person enough to know what his gender is, or it is more noticeable, more detailed. I asked him if he knew that person, and he answered 'I'm not sure'. If he didn't know him, he would have told me right away. So it may be someone he forgot about, from his childhood or something, or... I don't really know. But his actions seem different from that stalker, but at least I think that this hallucination is auditive."

"Wow... you do examine him a lot, that is impressive." Gasped Nene in surprise after the monologue of her friend. "But what makes you think that this hallucination is auditive?"

"Each time he talked about it, he told me how 'he' said it. How 'he' said that I cheated on him, or that I hated him or anything. So I suppose that this is part of the persecution kind of delusion, or even -"

Emu and Nene were staring with widened eyes at the director, who awkwardly chuckled.

"Sorry- as soon as I knew about Tsukasa's diagnosis, I read a lot of articles about delusions, acute delirium puff and PTSD to know more about it and to be able to help more properly..."

"You don't need to apologise, this is amazing!! Wonderhoy even!!" Happily reassured the pink-haired girl with her bright smile. "We didn't have the time with Nene to do that research, so if you know more about it, it's even better!"

Rui sighed in relief, as he continued to list down each of the blonde's hallucinations and delusions. He perfectly knew that they didn't have all of them, but it was a really good start. He listed next to them the times it happened, to be able to track their evolution as well. As soon as it was done, the troupe began to talk about the show's preparation, and how they needed to adapt it to Tsukasa's needs. Rui took a deep breath, and began:

"Alright, I asked Mizuki to not add any flower, or any thing that could be associated with it in Tsukasa's costume. It will be the same for us. We often use flowers or petals in our plays, but we'll have to remove them."

"What do we do for my character?" Suddenly asked Nene with concern. "I understand of course why we have to do that, but I play the Queen of Hearts, the red roses are a crucial part of her character..."

"Hm... let's use lights instead." Answered the director with a smirk.

"Oh! You mean lights in the set up?" Happily retorted the pink-haired girl with a bright smile.

"Exactly. We can play on the change of color with white and red to represent the scene where the cards paint the roses. After all, a play doesn't need to be literal. The spectators know the tale enough to be able to imagine the flowers themselves."

"I love that idea! Let's go with this then!"

"Alright." Nodded Rui, adding that idea to his sketchbook. "I asked Mizuki to be careful on a few parts for Tsukasa's costume, it should be ready soon. I also almost finished adapting the bubble machine to make spray water instead for us and the audience."

"You really think about everything, it's amazing." Smiled Nene with a sigh of relief.

"I'm trying my best to make sure that everything goes according to plan." Smirked back the inventor with a faint blush on his cheeks. "I wonder if we can incorporate Hoshi into the play, it is a really good stress reliever for him after all."

"… Hoshi?"

"Oh- yes the Pegasus I made for his birthday. He named it like this."

"He did? That sounds way too plain coming from him." Sighed the diva with confusion.

Rui softly chuckled, as his smirk grew even wider. He began to ramble about his little creation and the love of his life, as his talk turned more and more fast with excitement.

"Well you see, it's not actually his full name. Tsukasa had explained to me that his full name is 'Hoshi Kamishiro Tenma The First'. He used both our last names because I created him and he is now his current owner. As for the end part of it, it is simply because kings are named with numbers after their name and it sounded more royal and majestic, 'only suiting for a star like him' as he had proclaimed. He was so happy and proud about this name, it was actually adorable."

"… Kamishiro Tenma...?"

"That sounds like a married couple's name!" Suddenly exclaimed the pink-haired girl with a wide smile.

Rui instantly choked as his face burned in a few seconds. He wanted to argue and explain, but his voice had been extinguished as his thoughts had exploded. All he could feel was how hot his face was.

"I'm pretty sure that Tsukasa didn't realise it either...." Sighed Nene in disappointment.

"Does that make Hoshi your son or something?!"

"Please Emu stop..." Murmured back Rui with an awkward smile, while his face as red as a tomato was betraying him.

The little group giggled softly, while the director felt a funny feeling in his stomach. He didn't realise it when Tsukasa had told him about this name. Nene was probably right, and the blonde didn't really think that far. But... What if he did...?

Hm... Tsukasa Kamishiro.... or Rui Tenma... sounded really nice...

He quickly shook his head as it felt it burning even more. It wasn't the time to think about that, they hadn't even graduated yet!

The troupe restarted their talk after a few minutes. Even if the mood was lighter, a tension could be felt within the room. Nene looked down at all their paperwork, and sighed with concern:

"I really hope that Tsukasa will be able to play."

"I hope too, we'll see during practice..." Sighed the alchemist, unable to hide his obvious worry. "However, his hallucinations and delusions often get worse when he is anxious and nervous, so we have to find some way to help him relax, or some emergency plan in case something happens."

"Yes, let's do that then!" Agreed Emu with conviction, as the three of them continued their small meeting.

Deep down, Rui would have wanted Tsukasa to take a break, to not perform. However, he was also well placed to know how it felt, and why the blonde wanted to still act on stage. The director had gone through something similar months ago, and shows were important for all of them. It was more than a simple performance. Besides, it wasn't the only reason why the director let the blonde perform.

He was hoping that the blonde could use it as some kind of catharsis, or liberation. The same way it did for him on both of their performances. It was some kind of a new language, another way to reach for each other's feelings, to communicate. Maybe this time, it could help the star as much as it did for himself? Of course, he knew how each individual functioned differently, but he was still holding on to that thread, hoping for it to be able to help his boyfriend as much as possible. He suddenly raised his head, looking at the clock.

"Oh, it seems that the hospital's visit will begin soon, we should get going."

**

It had become a daily routine at this point. Rui would visit the blonde everyday at the hospital, the same way he did for him. Of course, the inventor wasn't the only one to come, Saki, Tsukasa's parents, or even Toya Emu and Nene would see him as well. Even if they couldn't stay by his side all day, the director hoped that the frequent visits were making his precious star happy.

He would always bring gifts, biscuits... anything apart from flowers, in order to make his star smile. He noticed how the star seemed to feel a bit better each day, but he didn't know if it was thanks to the medication, or if he was simply getting used to it. At least, he didn't go into an episode as badly as last time. But in the star's case, they couldn't be certain either. After all, he could be delirious, without any of them knowing, and this thought scared him.

This time, Rui was accompanied by Emu and Nene; they had left their meeting to directly pay a visit to their leader. The pink-haired girl had brought cute little drawings, while the diva had brought a few games, hoping that the star would enjoy them. Rui couldn't help but chuckle at this thought, each of them were supporting the star in their own ways and it was heartwarming.

They finally reached the star's room, and the door was closed. Rui quickly knocked, but to his surprise, there weren't any response. Maybe Tsukasa was simply asleep? He carefully opened the door with a small smile.

"Hi Tsukasa, sorry to come in-"

Rui froze.

The bed was empty.

He immediately felt his heartbeat accelerate, as his eyes were scanning the room. Emu and Nene came inside as well, doing the exact same thing.

"He's not here...?" Uttered the gamer with concern.

"Tsukasa!! Are you there?" Suddenly asked the pink-haired girl, opening the bathroom door. "Hmm no, it's empty!"

The inventor felt his anxiety worsening, as thousands of scenarios were running inside his head.

Did Tsukasa run away?

Did something happen?

Is he in surgery?

Is he-

"His belongings are still here, so he's probably just walking around?" Suddenly said Nene, looking down at the table.

Rui followed her stare, and gasped in surprise. Saki's synthesiser was still there, as well as Hoshi. Knowing the blonde, he wouldn't have simply let them like that and run away.

But it wasn't the usual Tsukasa they knew. He was delusional.

Which meant that anything could happen, relationality was a concept that they needed to get rid off.

The director suddenly felt a hand grabbing his own, forcing him to look down. Emu was the one who had hold his hand, and gently smiled at him with a reassuring tone:

"Let's ask the nurses, they'll certainly know! I'm sure that he is alright!"

Rui sighed with a faint smile, and nodded. It wasn't the time to overthink everything. The friends left the room, and quickly walked through the corridors, searching endlessly for either their blonde head, or for a doctor. Despite the soft smile and reassuring words of the girls, the director couldn't help but feel that familiar feeling of anxiety in his chest. Furthermore, as much as the girls tried to seem comforting, the inventor could see in their eyes how nervous they actually were.

Maybe he was a worrywart, but still...

They quickly found a nurse in the corridors, the team ran to her as Rui instantly asked with panic:

"Excuse me! Do you know where Tsukasa is? He is in the room 120 but he's not there-"

"Room 120...?" Repeated the professional deep in thought. "Oh! You must be talking about Tenma, he-"

All of a sudden, they heard a scream.

Rui instantly jumped in surprise, and turned around.

He knew that voice.

He would recognise it miles away, in any different situation, at any time.

It was Tsukasa's.

Without thinking twice, he immediately ran, or at least as fast as his lungs allowed him. He was quickly followed by the girls, while the nurse stared at them in shock. They arrived to another corridor, and heard the familiar voice once again, coming from a room-

"Leave me alone!"

The inventor rapidly picked inside in confusion and apprehension. As soon as his stare entered the room, his breath got stolen.

Tsukasa was there, as bright as ever.

"... Had weeped the dog, frightened and trembling. However, the empathic cat couldn't simply leave him alone! His smile had faded away, crumbled within darkness and loneliness, it was the feline's duty to bring him back into sunlight."

The blonde was standing in the middle of the room, holding in his hands two plushies, one representing a dog, while the other was a cat. A few children were sitting in front of him, assisting what seemed to be an improvised puppet show. Their eyes were sparkling, listening with attention to the bright World's Future Star.

As for Tsukasa... he was as splendid as ever. His smile felt so warm, and his stare was gentle, contrasting with his usual loud voice. Rui had missed those decibels, those high pitched tones, those 'Tsukasa noises'. And most importantly...


His eyes were shining.

The light in his eyes felt as if it had never left.

Rui's heartbeat had calmed down before he could even know it, as his eyes couldn't move away from the one who had stolen his heart.

Tsukasa was his entire world, and once again, he reminded him of the reason why he had fallen in love to begin with.

Maybe it was temporary, maybe it was once again one of the star's amazing acting, but it never felt this real.

This was a World's Future Star.

Even Rui could be mistaken by that bright smile that the star could easily pull off with kids and spectators, in order to make them smile even if his own was shattered.

At this instant, the inventor couldn't identify what was part of a play, and what wasn't, it was simply breathtaking, even if it was merely a kid's play.

He quickly glanced on his side, and saw how Emu and Nene had the same reaction as him, staring with surprise as their leader. He didn't have the time to talk to them, and heard a few steps reaching them from behind. He turned around, and saw the nurse with whom they were talking a few seconds ago. She was softly smiling, as she explained the situation:

"Tenma's bruises on his abdomen and chest don't paralyse him as much, so the doctors figured that letting him walk outside of his room could only help him feel better. After all, he had been locked there for quite some time."

"We... weren't aware?" Uttered Nene in confusion.

"Sorry, this decision had been made this morning actually. But Tenma has to be accompanied by either a visitor or a nurse." Answered the professional, pointing at herself. "This is during our walk that Tenma ran into one of the kids who recognised him from the Wondershow Sortie."

The troupe should have been more enlightened, but this new information only made them more confused.

"Wondershow Sortie...? What is this?" Asked the inventor, perplexed.

However, the nurse stared at him in genuine surprise, as she confused herself in excuses.

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought that you knew? The Phoenix park had made a partnership with the hospital to create sorties to their park for hospitalised kids. They can choose which performance to see, and they usually pick yours, Wonderlands x Showtime, they really love them! I thought you knew since you work there..."

Nene and Rui immediately turned around to stare at the pink-haired girl. Emu jumped and immediately waved her hands around.

"I don't know about it at all either!! My brothers didn't talk to me about it, but it's such a wonderhoy project! I'll ask them about it!"

Rui was even more confused. The park had a lot of financial difficulties from the lack of visitors. It was even the reason why they had made a show to save it in the first place. As wonderful as this project sounded, it didn't profit from the park, and it was still a business. It didn't benefit them that much...

So how...?

Rui was quickly shaken from his thoughts by the loud laugh of the star. Tsukasa was happily moving the plushies around, finishing his show. The kids clapped their hands with a lot of enthusiasm, while the blonde gently gave back the plushes to them. Noticing how his boyfriend's show had come to an end, the inventor finally let his legs move on their own, leaving his friends with the nurse. He entered the room, being as silent as possible. As he hoped, Tsukasa didn't hear him, to focus on the children to pay any attention to his surroundings. All of a sudden, The alchemist wrapped his arms around his waist, making the star brutally jump and scream in surprise. He immediately turned his face around, and instantly blushed as soon as he saw the other's face.

"R-Rui?!" Stammered the oldest with a flustered face.

"Hi~"

The kids giggled at his sudden interaction, as nurses came in to walk them back to their own rooms. The blonde gently waved goodbye to the children who finally left the room, leaving the couple alone. Rui noticed from the corner of his eyes, how Nene sighed as soon as she saw them, and left with Emu. They were certainly going to the blonde's room, or simply somewhere else to let some space for the hopeless lovebirds. Tsukasa let a long sigh out, while Rui gently kissed his cheek.

"You did absolutely amazing, my sweetheart."

Tsukasa's face burnt more if it even could. He proudly laughed with a shaking voice, as he unconsciously let his back melt against the other's chest.

"O-of course! I'm a World's Future Star after all...!"

Rui softly chuckled, as he let a few pecks along the star's neck.

"I heard, and it seems by what I'm seeing, that you are now able to move around. Do you want to take a walk in the garden? You only need to be accompanied by either a nurse, or a guest, right?"

The blonde turned his head slightly around to properly look at the other, and nodded with a bright smile. He carefully held his IV-pole to drag it next to them, leaving the hospital. They began to walk in the garden, while the only noise was the wheels rolling on the ground. The air was warm, but for once it didn't feel too heavy either. However, both of them decided to simply stay under shade. They found a bench in a spot not exposed to sunlight, and decided to sit there. Rui softly smiled, looking at his boyfriend with his usual smirk.

"That was a really nice puppet show actually. But you were in a specific room, what was it? A game room?"

"Hehe, thank you!" Answered the star, less flustered than before. "And yes, it is a room where kids can play. Doctors allowed me to go there from now on to perform shows, play the piano or just do any activity with them. They do lack of staff since a few days, and they thought it would also help my mood to do something else! Of course, a nurse is always nearby."

"I see, that sounds really lovely." Smiled back Rui, softly rubbing the star's knuckles with his thumb. "I do remember that you used to do shows with Saki with plushies, just like this too when you were kids. That must bring you back."

Tsukasa giggled, as he let his head rest against the inventor's shoulder, softly snuggling on it. Despite how many times he did it, or Rui would himself do it, the alchemist couldn't help but feel his heart flutter at this gesture. He gently let a few pecks on top of his boyfriend's head, while his thumb was still slowly rubbing the other's knuckles.

"It does." Finally answered the blonde with a warm smile. "She loved it when I did shows for her, seeing her smile was everything for me. I'm glad if I can do the same here as well."

"As a World's Future Star should~" Playfully retorted the purple-haired boy, making the other giggle. "I would love to see your next puppet show fully! Make sure to keep a seat for me."

"Of course!" Proudly laughed the blonde, but brutally gasped as he sat up. "Oh wait! Tomorrow is another schedule, they have manual activity! And I'll be there to teach them how to draw or do any kind of paper craft."

"Oh, that does sound lovely as well. My little sunshine really is talented in multiple fields."

The star furiously blushed, proudly crossing his arms through his shivering smile.

"O-of course! I'm a star after all... b-but where does that nickname even come from?! How many of those do you even have?!"

"Hm~? 'Little sunshine'? It does suit you really well, does it not?" Chuckled back the purple-haired man with a smug face and a teasing tone. "My star is so amazing and charming after all, one name isn't enough."

The blonde squealed as he hid his face into the other's neck, making the inventor giggle. He gently rubbed his back in a circle, kissing softly his head.

"If I die from a heart attack you'll be the reason why!" Scolded the blonde with a groan. "But still... You came up with so many names for me and... I don't have any nicknames for you apart from 'my director'..."

"It's alright, my name does sound really nice on your tongue~"

"STOP THAT!" Groaned again the star as he hit the other's chest with his fists.

The inventor softly laughed, while the other's hands stopped hitting him harmlessly to simply stay put over his shoulders. Of course, Rui would only wish to kiss his precious star here and there, but he knew how the other preferred to wait to be home for this. How cute. The star suddenly moved away from the embrace, to stare at the other with a bright smile.

"Wait, now that I think of it, can you come tomorrow to the kid's workshop? We could ask the doctors if you can also participate and do balloon art for them. I'm sure that they'll love it!"

"Oya? Hehe, that does sound really charming." Chuckled the inventor back at his lover with surprise.

Tsukasa instantly hugged him once again with a bright smile. If he was a dog, the alchemist was certain that his tail would be dancing around violently. He pushed carefully the other's bangs behind his ear. What a shame, since the star was hospitalised, he had to remove his moon earrings. Since then, Rui had worn one of them on his right ear, while his other lobe still had the star shaped earring. He let the other two pieces to the blonde, who had been keeping them carefully on a little box. It was a bit silly, certainly, but Rui still wanted to show in any way he could how he was still there for the blonde, even representing it with jewellery. That was certainly him being a hopeless lover, but who could blame him?

He softly rubbed the star's cheekbone with his thumb, as the other was snuggling against his shoulder, closing his eyes to let himself relax against the taller one's shoulder.Tsukasa was definitely prettier with his bright smile on. Rui didn't know if it was thanks to the treatment, or to the fact that he was finally able to properly move and walk around, but the star seemed in a better mood, almost as if he wasn't delusional at all.

But deep down in his golden eyes, Rui could see that the light was still missing.

Of course, his smile was genuine, for once these days, but something still felt off within them. The director had spent hours, days, even months staring hopelessly and examining them. He knew them like the back of his hand. And now, they weren't as bright as they used to be. It was certainly just a matter of time, he hoped it was. Even if some things were certainly going to stay as they were, such as the PTSD, but it was alright, they'll learn how to live with it, together.

Rui suddenly noticed how the blonde's eyes were frozen in place, unfocused yet again. He immediately rubbed his cheekbone again to wake him up from his trance. The blonde jolted, and finally moved his eyes to look at his lover. Before Rui could say anything, he asked:

"Did you hear that?"

The inventor sighed.

Of course, even if he was feeling better, he was still in delusion, and even if he was 'fine', it didn't mean that he wasn't having delusional thoughts.

"We are in a public space, there are going to be a lot of noises."

Tsukasa seemed to want to argue, but he simply sighed and snuggled back into the other's shoulder.

"... If you say so."

**

But Tsukasa heard it.

Rui was lying again, of course Rui didn't want to know anything about it.

But Tsukasa heard it.

Tsukasa swore he heard it.

From afar, and at the same time so close to him.

Someone was crying somewhere, calling for help.

Chapter Text

"I brought everything I needed." Smiled Rui, putting on the table a bag full of balloons.

As they had discussed the day before, they asked the doctors if Rui could participate in the little workshop to make balloon arts. They had quickly agreed, leading now to the couple preparing the different materials for this activity. While the inventor was going to do balloon art, his star would draw with the other kids, and do some papercraft as well. The director was softly smiling, while Tsukasa was humming as he was setting up the tables.

"You are really meticulous." Suddenly remarked the purple-haired boy, making the other turn around to face him proudly.

"Of course! It has to look absolutely amazing!" Proudly replied the blonde with a loud laugh.

Rui chuckled at his answer, and kindly kissed his cheek.

"Anything you do is always amazing anyway~"

Tsukasa quickly moved away, crossing proudly his shaking arms as his reddened face was betraying him.

"W-well I'm a star after all! You can't expect any less from me!"

The inventor chuckled yet again, as he was looking lovely at his partner. On the other hand, Tsukasa was giggling, as silly thoughts were crossing his mind. He wouldn't have known how happy he would feel to simply do this activity with Rui. It was just doing a little workshop for kids, and yet it was making his chest feel so light, full of butterflies. 

They didn't take too much time to prepare everything, it was already time for the activity. The kids barged in the room, eager to craft, while the two teenagers were simply sitting down across the table. Tsukasa began to teach some of them how to draw animals, while Rui was making balloon arts for them. After a little while, The blonde's curiosity suddenly turned to the machine next to the inventor, which was inflating the balloons. He had noticed it when they were setting up, but his mind couldn't help but think about it. He finally asked, while cutting a paper with scissors:

"By the way, is it a bicycle pump?"

"Indeed." Replied the inventor, blowing up one of the balloons with the machine. "It can also be used for balloons. I don't usually need it since I often just use one balloon at a time, but since Hana-"

Rui brutally stopped himself for a few seconds, and continued with a more shaky smile.

"But it's quicker and less tiring. Furthermore, for this activity, it's better since I'll make a lot of balloon arts, and more hygienic too."

"Oh I see! That does look really practical!" Grinned back the star, giving to one of the kids the papercraft he just made. "There, a star in 3D! You can put it on your desk to wish you luck."

The child took the papercraft in his hands, looking at it with sparkles in his eyes and a huge smile. As usual, the star would bring smiles, hopes and happiness to those around him. However, it wasn't only towards children. As a matter of fact, Rui's eyes were also staring at the star papercraft with a low humming.

"I think I saw those before, I can't remember where though."

"In Saki's room!" Replied the blonde with a proudful smile. "We made them together! They look incredible, right?"

"They surely do. This is impressive. I sometimes wonder what you can't do with all the skills you mastered." Praised the purple-haired boy, making the star furiously blush.

"W-well, as I said, a World's Future Star needs to master any skill, right? Anyway! Now we'll make this!"

To the inventor's surprise, the blonde drew at an extreme speed in front of the kid's admirative eyes. Then, with his skilled hands, he cut the form, and finally, glue it together. As soon as it was done, he happily show it to the kids with a loud laugh.

"This is how you make a crown! But you know, a crown on its own like this doesn't have much value, it needs a prince!"

Before Rui could react, the star put the crown on top of his purple head, making the inventor freeze in place as his face began to burn up. The blonde couldn't help but giggle at this sight. Even if it was more rare than for him, the alchemist could get easily flustered. He was just usually the one taking the upperhand, acting fast before the leader could do any moves on him. For once, the blonde was the one to make him speechless, as the inventor finally let a few chuckle escape his lips.

"Well..." Suddenly retorted the alchemist, taking a yellow balloon. "A Prince is useless on its own."

The star stared at his partner in surprise, as he tried to understand how the director's hands were easily tying the balloon. How did it seem so flexible in his pale hands? In a few seconds, the inventor made a crown, and delicately put it over the blonde's head with his natural smirk.

"A Prince needs his King."

Tsukasa gasped in surprise, as he swore that his face could explode at any second. He quickly laughed loudly, trying his hardest to hide his fastened heartbeat.

"Y-you're right! Ha ha ha!!"

All of a sudden, the kids were even more enthusiastic as before, as a girl raised her hands in the air.

"Me too!! I want to be a princess!! Can I have a crown?"

"I want to be a knight! Can I have a sword?"

The star's blush died down brutally, and a warm smile took it place. He giggled, as he took yet another pen in hand, drawing endlessly on the paper.

"Alright, one at a time! So, for the crown you needed to do it like this. For the sword, it would be best to take a thicker paper to make it more resistant!"

The children were listening to him with all their attention, while some others were on Rui's side, asking over and over again for multiple items.

After a little while, the workshop finally ended. As funny as it was, the blonde couldn't lie that he felt drained. He was certain that he had more stamina before, but right now, he just felt exhausted. On the other hand, the alchemist was happily humming, while he was cleaning the room with the star. He closed his bag, and turned around to face the blonde with a little chuckle.

"That was a really great experience, I never did that before. I can't lie that you are really skilled in this."

"Haha! Thank you my dear director!" Proudly replied the star with an iconic pose that he was the only one to know the secret of. "I have been drawing since I was little, so I'm not that bad at it."

"That too." Suddenly retorted the inventor with a softer tone. "But I meant with kids. I remembered how you screamed at that little girl back in America, but you actually have a good intuition with children."

Tsukasa brutally coughed as he crossed his arms.

"Well, it was a marvellous greeting! I suppose that it was simply a cultural shock!"

"Hehe, perhaps it was. In any case, we can really see your big brother's side, which is absolutely sweet." Explained the inventor with a gentle smile, leaving the bag on the ground to quickly kiss the star's cheek.

"A-ah! I mean... hm... I guess I can't help it!"

"It's not bad at all, it is impressive in fact. It's just as with Aoyagi, or Mizuki as I heard. It's as if you were adopting and claiming everyone as your younger siblings. That is really adorable." Elaborated the alchemist with a chuckle.

If Tsukasa could combust in place, he absolutely would have. He didn't expect Rui to compliment him on this specifically. He knew how people think about him and his big brother attitude, especially towards Saki since she was his younger sister after all. But when it was coming from his partner, it immediately felt different, more vulnerable. He felt his heartbeat speeding up as if he was talking to his secret crush, who he was dating for months now. He giggled, crossing yet again his arms, trying to pull off a cool attitude.

"Well, Akiyama did ask me to be their big brother! I don't mind at all. As for Toya, I do consider him as my little brother as well. A-and if you were this interested in this, you could have said so sooner. You can totally join the Tenma siblings, ha ha ha!"

Tsukasa was expecting Rui to giggle and follow along. However, the alchemist stood silent, staring at him with widened eyes and a light blush on his face. All of a sudden, he chuckled and replied with an apologetic tone:

"Sorry, but I'd rather not."

Tsukasa gasped in surprise and confusion. Apart from the sudden awkwardness, he couldn't help but start to worry. Did he overstepped? Did he make the alchemist uncomfortable? Yes they were dating for months, but that didn't mean that every boundaries were completely settle, or that he couldn't mess up.

After all, he always messed up.

You always mess up.

Before his thoughts could go overboard again, he felt a cold hand gently holding his chin, forcing his head to rise up. His golden eyes met yellow ones, as the inventor murmured, certainly trying to sound as smooth as possible despite his red and sweating face:

"I would rather be your husband instead."

Tsukasa's heart dropped.

H-

Hus....

HUSBAND ????

Tsukasa screamed, his mouth quickly covered by the director's hand to muffle his loud voice. The alchemist awkwardly chuckled, while the blonde could feel how clammy his hand was against his face.

"W-we're still in a hospital, my star~"

He finally let go of the burning face of the blonde, while Tsukasa's thoughts were empty and exploding at the same time. He nervously played with his hands, as he tried to regulate his breathing from his brutal embarrassment. Rui wasn't better, but he gently rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head.

"Sorry my star, but I couldn't let this slide. It was a really good opportunity!" Quietly chuckled the inventor.

Tsukasa groaned, hiding his flustered face in the crook of the alchemist's neck. He held tightly on the other's shirt, while he could feel the director's fingers playing with his blonde hair. It felt so comforting. He couldn't help but feel his thoughts start to wonder, maybe because of how overwhelmed he suddenly felt.

Even if it felt really nice.

"Did you mean it...?" Suddenly asked the blonde in a murmur.

He was met with a short silence. Rui suddenly wrapped his arms around the blonde's frame, trapping him in a soft embrace. He felt the director's lips on the top of his head, as he answered with a matching tone as his.

"Of course. I would be more than glad to be your husband."

"W-was it a proposal?!" Suddenly retorted the blonde, sinking his face deeper if it was even possible.

"Hehe, if this is what you want it to be~" Chuckled the alchemist, as he gently held one of the blonde's cheeks to let their eyes meet. "But we may be a bit too young for that. When the time comes, I'll make sure to do the best proposal you could ever wish for, only fitting for my bright and shining star."

Tsukasa could feel his face unable to cool down, as he giggled.

"Not if I beat you to it!"

Rui raised his eyebrows in surprise, and chuckled back.

"You already asked me out, and you want to also be the one to do the proposal? How unfair~ A director can't put his bright actor into the spotlight?"

"W-well-" Tsukasa felt his body getting warmer, as his thoughts turned more and more mixed up, unable to comprehend them fully. "I-I guess this is a fair point..."

A small silence took place, quickly broken by the cold palm of the inventor against the blonde's forehead. The star gasped in surprise, looking at the other with a confused stare. The alchemist's own face was flinching, as he asked with a low tone:

"Are you feeling alright? I know that I am teasing you, but I don't think that you could be flustered to the point of burning up."

"W-well I do-"

"No. I meant, literally, burning up." Retorted Rui, softly cupping the star's face.

Tsukasa was a bit confused. Was he really burning up? He was feeling fine, really great for once actually. He suddenly felt the director's lips against his forehead. This soft and gentle touch, made him realise that he may actually be warmer than usual, considering how cold Rui's lips felt against his skin. The director held his hand, and said with a comforting smile:

"This was a long and tiring day, so let's head back to your room and rest, alright?"

The blonde felt as if he had lost the ability to talk.

His voice was simply extinguished.

He simply nodded, following his boyfriend to his room. 

**

Emu and Nene were walking together to the park. Since Tsukasa was hospitalised, they didn't practice that much. It made some unplanned freetime, which they spent together. This day was one of them. They were having a little date at the Phoenix park. Even if they worked there, they would still go on dates there, mostly thanks to Emu's pleads. Nene knew how dear this place was for her girlfriend, and she couldn't lie how they would have fun each time they went there. After all, she also loved this park.

They were walking hand in hand, while the pink-haired girl was eating cotton candy with great enthusiasm. She suddenly asked with a nonchalant tone:

"How are you?"

The diva jolted in surprise, looking at her with a small smile.

"I am fine, thank you. Why?"

"I'm glad if it's the case!" Happily retorted the shortest one, as she tightly hugged the diva's arm. "I'm happy to see your smile back!"

Nene softly giggled with a light blush on her face. Emu was relieved. After all, she knew how all this situation, even Hanahaki Disease itself, didn't affect only the boys. Nene and herself as well. Even if the pink-haired girl was a lot behind at that moment, she knew how the diva took care of Rui herself after learning everything, and how she witnessed the illness firsthand.

Saying that Nene was in shock would be an understatement.

Hopefully, she had managed to open up a lot to her, and Emu did everything in her power to be there for her and to support her. She was there to look after everyone in the troupe, as much as they were looking after her.

This was what Wonderlands x Showtime was about.

She held them dearly to her heart, beyond shows. It was more than a troupe, it was a close friend group which made her heart fly and dance. Of course, everything couldn't be perfect, but it was alright, nothing could make them stop.

This is what she believed in.

All of a sudden, Emu jumped in surprise, as she noticed her brother Shousuke from afar. She held her girlfriend's hand with enthusiasm. Nene gasped in shock, but despite her complaints, she was dragged along. They didn't take too much time to reach the adult, who was staring at them with confusion and his usual frown. Before he could say anything, Emu pulled the rug from under him and asked with her loud voice:

"Shousuke!! We learnt about the Wondershow sorties at the hospital!! It is such a wonder-hoy idea! Why didn't you tell us?!"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, as the frown on his face got deeper. He crossed his arms, and retorted:

"The partnership? You didn't know? I thought he told you."

The girls stood silent for a second, perplexed.

'He'?

Emu tilting her head to the side, her eyes getting bigger with curiosity.

"No we didn't know! Who was supposed to tell us?"

Shousuke pinched his nose in annoyance, mumbling a few words under his breath before answering:

"Keisuke and I aren't the ones who came up with this idea."

"WHA?!" Gasped Emu in surprise, while Nene uttered a small 'o' through her small lips. "I thought it was you!!"

"Of course not. Even if we would have thought about it, we would never be able to make it work." Clarified the adult with a long sigh. "Tenma is the one who came to us with this request."

The diva and the pink-haired girl turned their faces to stare at each other, mouth agape with even more confusion. The adult continued, clearing up the girl's thoughts:

"He had suggested it to us a few months ago. I think it was when Kamishiro was hospitalised from his sickness, and when Tenma was just discharged from the hospital. We explained that it wouldn't be possible to make this work financially. However, he was really determined. He decided to financially support it himself with his part time job. Now the next step is to broadcast shows on a private channel for the hospital for kids who aren't able to leave the building. The test would be made on the hospital where he currently is, and we'll see how it goes."

"Wait... Tsukasa had been working on his part-time job for this partnership...?" Murmured back Nene in shock.

"Apparently so." Sighed the adult back, pinching his nose. "He was apparently already working before even asking this, and we didn't really have any other reason to refuse. I cannot lie that it benefits the park a lot as well."

"Rui had told me how Tsukasa would doze off a lot when he was visiting him back then... he was certainly already overworking himself...? Is this the reason why he never told us about this... To not make us worry?" Whispered back the diva with a trembling voice.

"If he had told us, we would have gladly lent a hand! Tsukasa certainly didn't want to make us work more either..."

"And how is it now? Since he is hospitalised..."

"It's alright, we had enough funds for a few more shows." Explained the brother with his usual neutral facial expression. "Of course, we won't let Tenma continue in his current state. So we'll see if we'll continue this partnership or not. It will depend on how things will move from now on."

"I see..." Sighed the pink-haired girl with a pouting face. "We'll try to raise funds for this! I don't know how yet but we'll figure it out!!"

Nene softly smiled through her pained expression, softly tightening her girlfriend's hand.

They were a troupe after all, they didn't have to work and bear the burden and pressure alone. They were together.

**

"How good it feels to finally be home!"

A few days had passed, and Tsukasa was finally discharged. He didn't understand everything, but he  had a treatment now.

For what purpose? He still wasn't completely sure. Well, no, he knew it. He had an acute delirium puff, and needed this treatment to recover and to stop being delusional.

Was it?

But it couldn't be it.

Well, it's what the doctors said. But why was he out if he wasn't healed then? It only meant that he was healed, so he didn't need those medications! However, his mother had bought a really fancy box to put his pills inside. That would be a shame to not use it. She put a lot of effort with Saki to decorate it with star charms, perfectly suiting his own magnificence.

He quickly walked upstairs to his bedroom, emptying his bags. As soon as it was done, he began to quickly clean the space. After a little while, Saki came into his room as well, softly smiling at her big brother.

"I don't think there is much that you need to clean up. Your room already looks really neat."

"But it's not-" Mumbled back the star, his face slowly turning red. "W-well I want him to be comfortable here s-so..."

"I'm sure he will. Isn't his workshop a mess anyway? I don't think that he would be the one to mind if your books aren't perfectly aligned." Giggled the younger sibling, while Tsukasa was nervously playing with his hands.

Tsukasa wasn't used to feeling this nervous over little things. His thoughts were a real mess, so many things happened in such a short period of time, and it was pretty hard to find a balance. Why was he this nervous about the idea of Rui coming over?!

When they knew that Tsukasa was going to be discharged, Rui and their parents discussed a new organisation. Rui had suggested to stay by the blonde's side and live with him for a little while.The star wasn't really sure why. After all, they would see each other at school, during summer break, and even at practice. Was it going to be troublesome for the alchemist? Why going through all this? It made the blonde atrociously embarrassed, but he couldn't lie that he was also looking forward to it.

But at the same time, he was atrociously nervous about it. It felt like a huge step taken at once. He was certainly overthinking it, but...

Was it going to feel as if they had moved in together...?

He quickly shook his head. Since when the magnificent, incredible and amazing star such as himself, had such cheesy thoughts?! He could feel his face burning up again, as he groaned with that uncomfortable feeling inside his stomach.

Those butterflies could be too violent for his poor guts and heart sometimes.

He felt Saki's soft hand against his back, rubbing it slightly. She giggled and reassured her older brother with a warm smile:

"It's going to be alright! It will be... just as a long sleepover!"

"W-well, that is correct!" Proudly laughed the star with a shaking voice.

It was correct, just a long sleepover.

That was it.

Before he could argue or add anything else, the bell rang, making the siblings jump in surprise. Tsukasa instantly got up, and ran downstairs to the front door. He was followed by Saki, at a different speed. He eagerly opened the door, revealing none other than Rui, carrying a bag with him.

"Hi my star~ I hope that I'm not too early?"

"You'll never be too early here!" Happily replied the blonde as he shook his head and let the taller one enter.

Saki greeted the alchemist as well, and the two of them began to talk. It gave the blonde some time to breathe. Without realising it, he was once again playing with his hands out of nervousness, almost removing his plaster from his IV on the back of his hand. He quickly detached his hands to hide them behind his back, trying his hardest to not remove the bandage. Rui quickly noticed his anxiety, and he gently kissed the top of his head.

"Everything's fine, sweethart?"

"Yes." Immediately replied the blonde, not elaborating further.

His headache was only getting worse by the minute. He was usually the type to adapt quickly, but so many things were happening, it felt as if he wasn't even part of this life anymore.

But it was alright, he'll get used to it again.

Since when did it feel this weird...?

The director carefully held Tsukasa's hand, rubbing gently his knuckles with his thumb. The star instantly smiled, leaning on the other's shoulder. After a few minutes, they finally went back to the star's room, tidying up Rui's belongings. As soon as it was done, they sat on the blonde's bed, with a long sigh.

"There! I hope that you'll be comfortable here!"

"Hehe, of course I will be. I don't doubt it." Chuckled the inventor, kissing the other's cheek.

All of a sudden, Rui let a quiet gasp escape his lips, as he took his phone to check his messages.

"Now that I think of it, Mizuki finished your costume for the show." Explained the inventor with his smirk. "I asked them to come over in two days in order to let you try it out."

 "Already?! I can't wait to see it! But in two days? Why not now? I'm here after all!"

"You have just been discharged, my star. I think it's better if you simply relax before starting to work again and taking it easy." Replied the purple-haired boy, leaning further to let multiple sloppy kisses all over the blonde's face.

"You just want to keep on kissing me because you couldn't at the hospital- hmpf!"

Rui quickly forced the blonde to stay quiet by pressing their lips together. Tsukasa melted to the touch, letting the inventor do as he pleased. His eyes closed on their own, feeling only the way their lips would softly and gently collide against each other.

Each kiss felt like a spell, making his heart beat faster, but at the same time calming it down. It was just how wonderful this feeling left, and how in love he was.

He certainly never thought that he would love someone this much before.

After a moment, they finally broke the kiss. Rui wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist, snuggling against the crook of his neck with a content sigh.

"There, my poor lips were dry after all this time~"

"AH?! Don't say such things like that!!" Screamed back the blonde, as he felt the alchemist's lips against his jaw.

As flustered and warm as he felt, he couldn't help but let his giggle escape his lips.

He really was lucky to have someone like Rui in his life.

**

'Where... where are they ?'

Tsukasa's eyes shot open.

He felt something heavy around his waist. It was one of Rui's arms, still hugging him through his sleepy figure.

However, his brain couldn't think about it now.

'I... I don't want to be                                please                               '

Someone was crying.

'                                 told me that                      today'

Tsukasa carefully moved the director's arm away to free himself, and got up on his shaking legs. The room was awfully dark, and Hoshi was simply put on his desk. The blonde took out his phone, realising how long it had been seen he had it in hand.

And since he had come to this place.

Which place?

He carefully turned on the flashlight, and walked downstairs. His footsteps were light, as he was searching for the voice.

Was Saki crying?

Was she alright?

But it didn't sound like her.

But this voice... sound familiar, he thought.

Where did he have heard it before?

Tsukasa arrived in the living room, and his eyes stared at his mom's piano. He felt a shiver down his spine, as if the world had stopped spinning.

Why wasn't he moving?

It was as if his breath was taken away.

"Tsukasa?"

The blonde brutally jumped in surprise, almost screaming in terror. He quickly turned around, facing a confused and sleepy Rui. The alchemist tilted his head to the side, rubbing his eye with a light yawn.

"Are you alright...? Did something happen?"

Tsukasa opened his mouth-

He won't believe you.

The blonde stopped, and smiled.

"I got a bit thirsty."

The alchemist didn't seem convinced, but didn't push the matter further. He reached his hand out, wordlessly asking the other to hold it. The blonde complied, letting the director grab his hand. Rui softly let a peck on his cheek and murmured:

"If something troubles you, don't hesitate to talk about it, alright? Let's go to bed, you need to rest."

Tsukasa simply nodded, following his lover upstairs.

However, his thoughts couldn't stop wandering.

The crying voice seemed more far away, as if the owner had left. 

But despite that...

Tsukasa was wondering.

Who was playing the piano ?

Chapter Text

The sun was as usual really strong, hitting on the couple's heads. Rui and Tsukasa were walking hand in hand to the Phoenix park. Hopefully, they were on a weekend, meaning that the blonde didn't have to go to class. Even if sleeping next to the inventor helped him get some more restful sleep, something felt off within him.

What happened?

He couldn't properly remember what happened during the night, the only thing he could think about was that he was at some point in the living room, but he had no idea why. The alchemist didn't bring that matter up again, either waiting for the star to talk about it, or because he didn't think it was interesting or had to be talked about. Well, he wasn't in Rui's head anyway, and it wasn't as if he could have been able to add anything else.

Before reaching the Wonder Stage, the boys went to change somewhere else, in order to avoid going backstage. As soon as they were ready, they walked to the stage. To their surprise, the girls weren't here yet. As a result, they simply sat down, reading the script together. Of course, Rui simply let the blonde sat between his legs, in order to wrap his waist with his arm, and to let his chin rest on the star's shoulder.

"Do you wish to practice a bit before they arrive? After all, it's been a while for you." Suggested the inventor with a soft smile, unable to restrain himself from leaving a peck on the other's jaw.

"Oh it's alright!" Replied the blonde with pride. "I practiced at the hospital."

Rui jolted in surprise, moving away to look at the other's face.

"… You practiced at the hospital?"

"Of course! Well, when I could move around, I simply walked into my room to practice. So I remember all my lines and acting. The only thing missing is to adjust it to the other's acting. Well, I was practicing with Hoshi, but he can't really play back..."

Rui softly chuckled, holding his boyfriend tighter.

"You were acting with Hoshi? You did shows for your sister with plushies, right?"

"Absolutely! It was the same, just without an audience." Explained the blonde, a light blush on his face. "But if we can talk about something for the show, I was actually thinking about two things! First, for the music that we are composing with Emu, Toya and Saki. When would we play it in the show?"

"Hm... I was thinking either during the entrance, or at the finale. Or, during a memorable scene, like a climax." Answered the inventor, pinching his chin. "Since it is an original track from us, we need to play it at the most important parts of the play."

"Glad we agree! As for the other thing that I was thinking about, it's an accessory for the play."

Rui tilted his head to the side in confusion. Tsukasa turned a few pages, and showed the script to the alchemist, pointing at the lines.

"There! In that scene, I go through a mirror, right? But... What mirror? I know that the spectators can also use their imagination, but this is a bit too big..."

"Oh, yes I was wondering about it too." Retorted the purple-haired boy with a small smile. "At first, I thought about using your mirror, the one that you have in your bedroom. After all, its size is perfect for the scene."

"My mirror?!" Brutally screamed the star, crossing his arms in disapproval. "I can't possibly go through it, and I forbid you to do any modifications to it!"

"As I thought." Chuckled slightly the director, patting softly the head of the other to calm him down. "But with a second thought, using a mirror may not be the greatest idea. After all, the spectators will be able to see themselves through its reflection, and distract them from the play. Furthermore, it is a bit too expensive for us. So I thought of using a glazed door instead."

"A glazed door? It will still be expensive no...?"

"Not necessarily, it can easily be made. I was thinking of going to a recycling center to get the materials. Furthermore, the glass will reflect only what is in front of it, like you for example, and won't disturb the viewers."

The star stared at him with wide open-eyes, as a large smile drew itself on his face, full of admiration. He snuggled into Rui's neck with small giggles, wrapping his arms around his neck to hug him.

"You really have wonderful ideas, you are amazing, Rui!"

Rui's face burnt, as he felt as if his heart would rip apart his ribcage. A shaky laugh escaped his lips, while he was trying his hardest to hide his embarrassment.

"A-aah, thank you my star. I'll do my best. I'll work on it in a few days-"

"Why not right after rehearsal? After all, Akiyama is coming over for the costume tomorrow, right? So we have this evening free." Asked the star, resting his chin against the other's collarbones.

Rui softly giggled yet again at this adorable sight, and gently patted his head.

"I could, but I prefer to properly spend the evening with you, instead of working in my workshop."

"It's alright, you can work in my room, it's big enough! And if you prefer to work in your workshop, we can go there as well, right? You didn't think about it?"

"As a matter of fact, I did, but..." Rui closed his eyes, avoiding the other intense stare. "I don't want to leave you alone. You know, when I'm working I am really focused and it will be a bit boring for you-"

"Hm? How is it boring? I can be there with you." Reassured the blonde with a wide smile. "I don't often have the opportunity to see you work! I want to be there this time. I won't bother you or distract you I promise."

Rui raised his eyebrows in surprise, and let a few giggles escape his lips.

"Well, if you insist. I'll call my mom to ask her if she can drive us to the recycling center. After all, I don't really imagine us walking the materials by foot. We'll stay at my place then."

"Alright! I'll warn Saki that I'll stay at your place tonight then." Nodded the star with a pride smile.

The star wrapped back his arms around the other's neck, and gently kissed him. Rui was taken aback by the sudden move, but gladly welcomed it. He softly hugged his star back, letting himself melt against the touch. What Tsukasa loved most when he would kiss Rui, is how gentle and soft the alchemist was. His hands would always softly caress his back or cheek in a comforting manner. Everything in his body language screamed how he cared about him, and it always made the blonde melt. Futhermore... the feeling of the purple-haired boy's lips against his own was so heavenly...

"You two should get a room."

Tsukasa brutally screamed, pushing Rui away as his face was combusting. The director was still frozen in place, his cheeks covered with a dust of pink, while the blonde was a shouting mess.

"N-Nene! I-it's not-!"

"It's ok Tsukasa!!" Suddenly retorted Emu, right next to her girlfriend. "As I told you before, we already saw you go chuu chuu!"

"AAAAH!!" Bloodily shouted out the star, combusting in place.

The blonde hid his burning face behind his hands, as he groaned with a quiet voice.

"L-let's just start practice now and forget about all of this!"

"You have no idea how I wish I could." Sighed Nene, her small smile betraying her.

As soon as they had come back to their senses, the troupe began to practice. The weather was atrociously hot, making all members sweat. But despite that, Tsukasa gave his all. He noticed how the breaks were multiplying and lasting longer. Rui was the one giving the pace, and ordering the troupe to take breaks, to drink, and review what they did. He was extremely precocious, and this made the star sigh in relief.

A few hours passed, and the break arrived yet again. Tsukasa let a long sigh out as he was stretching his legs. He heard a few footsteps coming his way, making him raise his head. Emu was walking up to him, her bottle of water in hand. The blonde smiled at her, as they both sat down. He could see from a distance Nene and Rui talking together, but he wasn't able to hear them from here.

"How are you, Tsukasa?"

The blonde jolted in surprise at the sudden question, and turned around to look at his friend. Emu was staring at him with a small smile, as if it was her neutral expression. The star simply nodded with a grin.

"I am doing just fine, thank you dear Emu! I hope that you are fine as well."

"Of course I am!" Giggled back the girl, but her laughter quickly died down to leave room for a concerned look. "But you're sure? You look a bit stiff."

"… Stiff?"

"Yes! You usually go all wapa wapa badam! But today you're a bit more sloppy, so I was wondering if something was wrong!"

Tsukasa thought.

Oh.

Was it noticeable?

He softly sighed, waving his hand around with a smile.

"No no I'm fine! It's probably because of the hot weather, it's difficult to practice."

Emu hummed in reply with a nod. She carefully held his hands, shaking them slowly.

"Don't overwork yourself!! And don't hesitate if you need anything!"

Tsukasa stared at her in surprise. Why was she precising it now? However, he couldn't deny the warm feeling growing inside his chest, as he slowly nodded.

"Thank you, I will keep that in mind!"

The pink-haired girl smiled back, and walked away to join Nene, while the blonde went on the other side of the stage. They had left their scripts there, with a few accessories for their show. The blonde bent down, taking a porcelain cup in hand. Emu had brought them for the tea party scene which Tsukasa and Rui would play. Even if the star was reluctant at first, it was merely a singing and talking scene, both of them were mostly sitting down during the entire sequence. Rui had planned on balancing their lack of movements with props on the table, making the objects move, turning the tea party into a dreamy one. This sounded really impressive, and the star still had no real idea on how he was going to make it work. But well, Rui was always up to surprises, right?

"Your acting was weak."

Tsukasa's heart brutally dropped as he jumped in surprise. He quickly turned around to look at the purple-haired boy, holding the cup with shaky hands. The inventor had his arms crossed, looking at him with a frown. Well, he was maybe a bit upset that the star wanted to practice despite just being discharged, after all he wouldn't have allowed the alchemist to do the same.

He was a hypocrite. But still, a star had to give their all, right?

But Emu noticed how stiff he was, and now the director too... He had no idea why it was this difficult to move his upper body, but he swore he did his best.

Seems like your best isn't enough.

"A-aah, my deepest apologies! Even if I practiced at the hospital, I may be a bit dull after all."

"Oh, I'm not talking about today specifically."

Tsukasa frowned, feeling his back shiver.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Since a few months, you have been more absent-minded. But you already know that, right? You have lost your brightness, what a shame."

"R-Rui what do you mean? You know that I'm doing the best I can-" Uttered back the blonde in confusion, as the world was starting to spin around him.

"If this is the best for you, then it is more than a disappointment." Sighed the director with his empty stare. "How can I love someone who isn't the brightest star? I mean, who even are you if you aren't merely that?"

"R-Rui I-"

The inventor grabbed the blonde's face, leaning forward to him. Their faces were dangerously and uncomfortably closed. It was the first time that the star wished to get away from the inventor's grasp.

"You're not the same anymore. Or you always had been this dull and pitiful shell. I came here for the star, not a pathetic actor. I'm not in love with someone like this."

…

A shattered sound resonated through the stage.

Tsukasa heard quick footsteps reaching him in panic. Rui was the first one to arrive, staring at him with concern.

"Tsukasa what happened? Are you alright?"

The blonde jolted in surprise, looking at the director.

Wait.

Hold on.

Did Rui just run to him now ?

But...

He was with him, right...?

He...

Tsukasa turned around to where Rui previously was.

Nobody was there.

Oh.

Tsukasa froze in place.

It was the first time that he had this kind of realisation. What was going on? His head lowered down, looking at the porcelain cup shattered on the ground. He began to panic, turning around to face Emu.

"I- Emu I'm so sorry! I- I don't know what happened- I'll buy you a new one! I-"

"It's alright Tsukasa!" Tried to reassure the pink-haired girl with a soft voice.

"N-no it's not I-"

The summer heat was crushing him down. He felt like he was about to cry, yet again. Why couldn't he do anything about it? Why couldn't he control his own feelings anymore? What was wrong with him?!

Tsukasa had trouble breathing.

He-

He had

Trouble breathing.

Tsukasa panicked even more, the world around him had collapsed. Where was everyone again?

He hid his head behind his hands, feeling as if he was suffocating. Trembling apologies were escaping his lips, his voice was out of his control.

Why was he apologising?

What was he even doing?

Why... couldn't he control anything?!

He felt two cold hands softly wrapping his shaking frame, as a familiar and comforting scent blessed him. One of the hands slided up to the back of his head, gently patting it with slow murmurs. Within the chaos of his own thoughts, he could hear the soft lullaby. He tried to cling to it as much as he could, trying to regain the control of his own body. His fingers were holding tightly on the other's shirt, making his own knuckles turn white. He felt his knees getting weaker, and the alchemist certainly noticed too since they slowly slided down to sit on the ground. He heard other sounds next to them, probably Emu and Nene sitting down as well.

"It's alright, everything's fine. Take long and deep breaths."

"I... I'm sorry... I swear I can do better-"

"I know, and you did great, sweetheart. Let's take a break, alright? One step at a time, just as you always say. Now focus on your breathing." Kindly reassured the director, gently kissing his burning forehead.

Even if their voices were the same, they sounded atrociously different. The previous one was cold, harsh, tearing him up from the inside. But his director’s voice was so melodic, smooth and angelic, even hypnotic. Rui's voice had always charmed him, even before he had fallen for him. He had always found it absolutely beautiful, and his singing was even more incredible. Even his mischievous chuckles were melodic, but he would never admit it. Maybe his voice was the reason why he had fallen in love with him to begin with? Was it even enough, or a great reason to fall in love? He didn't know, but what he knew was that Rui was simply magnificent in any way. He fell in love with everything about him, and even now with his head being a mess, he felt his heart calming down just by his presence alone.

He hoped that his light was bright enough to highlight Rui, as much as the sun would do to the moon. But was he good enough for this? Was he still good enough for this?

Without realising it, his entire body had simply melted against Rui's. The director's hands were still softly rubbing his back and head, trying to calm him down. He couldn't stop trembling, even under this burning air which was threatening to boil them alive. Tsukasa had stopped talking, he supposed, he wasn't even sure himself. It felt so odd, it was as if he was in another world. It was as if he wasn’t in his own body anymore. He couldn't move at all, leaving himself at the mercy of the others. But he knew that they wouldn't do anything to him. He was safe with them.

Are you sure ?

Yes.

He thought.

No, he definitely was.

What was even going on...?

**

"Can you hear me Tsukasa?"

The blonde raised his eyes, meeting yellow ones. Rui softly nodded at the star's reaction to his call and moved a blonde strand of hair behind his ear.

"It seems like he can hear us."