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Childe (ew)

Summary:

I do not like Tartaglia. I’m only uploading this because at 10:23pm on March 8th, 2023, I saw that he was nine fics away from having 30,000 fics in his name and I wanted to be the one to post number 30,000

(in which i give a sloppy retelling of the Liyue Lore then Childe falls off a roof and dies)

Notes:

this is not good quality. it will not be good quality. all this is and all it ever will be is me killing off a man who I don’t particularly care for.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Where did this all start?

 

It was after the last Rite of Descension. Lumine was an outsider and Liyue’s god had just been announced dead. It was natural for the Millilith to be suspicious of her.

 

So she snuck past the men who were guarding the exits and ran. She had almost made it far enough away when she was cornered. With three soldiers in front of her, and two more close behind, the only thing she could do was draw her sword. She readied herself, sinking into an offensive stance, but before she could do anything, three hydro infused arrows arced over her head and knocked the men back. 

 

Lumine turned to look for the source of the arrows and saw a tall man dressed in a certain shade of gray which was a bit too light to be flattering on him. The man jumped past her and brandished a dual edged sword.

 

‘Archons are you kidding me? I can’t believe I’m getting saved by some stupid ginger who can’t seem to choose a single way to fight…’

 

Lumine kept her sword raised as Paimon hid behind her and the ginger fought the soldiers around her. The man moved too fast for her to fully see how he was fighting, but before she knew it, five Millilith soldiers were lying unconscious on the ground around her and more soldiers were quickly approaching from the stairs above.

 

“Come with me.” That’s all the man said before running off further down the path.

 

Seeing that her only options right now were to follow the man or fight a losing battle against the Millilith, Lumine chose to follow the man.

 


 

Childe. The redhead dweeb who saved her from the Millilith was called Childe.

 

Childe had introduced Lumine to a friend of his from the funeral parlor, Zhongli, and the two had paired up to set a Rite of Passing in honor of the late Rex Lapis.

 


 

It had been a day or two since Lumine had heard from or seen Childe, but he was the least of her concerns right now.

 

Zhongli had sent her to the Golden House in order to retrieve and protect the Geo Gnosis. After all of the events they had witnessed while setting up the Rite of Passing, there was reason enough to believe that the Fatui were trying to steal the Gnosis.

 


 

It was Childe…

He was the one orchestrating the Fatui’s plan…

He was the one who had drawn upon the power of a delusion in an attempt to win the fight that had broken out at the Golden House…

He was the one who somehow managed to awaken the God of the Vortex, Osial.

 


 

It had been six months since the Jade Chamber had fallen from the sky, and two months since it had been rebuilt.

 

Lumine was wandering the market streets of Liyue with Paimon, stocking up on supplies for the long journey across the sea to Inazuma. She had just gotten to the front of the line at Wamin Restaurant and was about to order when she heard a familiar, yet incredibly annoying voice behind her.

 

“Hey Girlie,” it was Childe, “Wouldn’t you rather get food from somewhere a bit… classier?”

 

Lumine ignored him, but Paimon on the other hand was curious about the food. “Paimon thinks Wamin Restaurant is pretty classy when you’re on a budget! Chef Mao is amazing!”

 

“Oh sure, sure… Wamin is classy, but wouldn’t you rather eat at Xinyue Kiosk?”

 

Lumine, now much more annoyed that Childe was still talking, turned to face him. “Xinyue Kiosk is great, but it doesn’t really fit our current budget. For now, Wamin Restaurant suits the pair of us just fine.”

 

“What if I’m paying, hmm? Then would you join me for dinner?”

 

Lumine rolls her eyes while Paimon’s seem to light up.

 

“Well if Childe is paying we can’t really refuse that offer, can we, Traveler?”

 

“We absolutely can refuse the dinner invitation from the man who tried to kill us.”

 

“Well Paimon thinks you can refuse the man but the food can’t be ignored!”

 

“Fine then. But if carrot top over here tries anything, you’re doing the fighting.”

 


 

The dinner wasn’t so bad actually… Childe talked a lot, but a few of the things he said were funny enough to constitute a joke.

 

Lumine ended up accepting his invitation to a second dinner before she left for Inazuma.

 


 

The second dinner ended up being just the two of them sitting on the roof of Northland Bank, watching the sunset, and eating some bowls of calla lily seafood soup that Childe had made from his own recipe.

 

It was calmer and much quieter than it had been at Xinyue Kiosk the night before. Childe was still talking in that annoying voice of his, but it was marginally more bearable this time.

 


 

The sun was beginning to rise again and Childe and Lumine were still sitting on the roof of Northland Bank.

 

“I should probably head off, I have to catch a ship out by Guyun Stone Forest, and I can’t count on the crew to wait forever.”

 

“Haha! I should probably get ready for the day as well!” Childe stands up, but he moves too quickly and loses his footing. He falls to the side and rolls down the slope of the roof they were sitting on. He begins to fall, but manages to grab on to the edge of the roof before it’s too late.

 

“Lumine! Could you give me a hand here!? I really enjoy not falling to my death!”

 

Lumine gets up carefully so that she doesn’t make the same mistake as Childe. She looks over at the silly little ginger. “I dunno… I’m kinda pressed for time right now… I got to make my way to Inazuma and all…”

 

”WHAT! LUMINE! I swear this won’t take ten seconds! just help me up, will you?”

 

“No really I gotta go… But hey! You’re a Fatui Harbinger! I’m sure you can pull yourself up!”

 

“Nah my grip strength is absolutely shot. I am actually about to fall to my death right now!”

 

“Skill issue. Get better grip strength.”

 

Unfortunately, it’s kind of hard for someone to just ‘get better grip strength’ as Lumine so graciously put it. Childe’s strength eventually gives out and he falls off the roof of the bank and fucking dies.

Notes:

yay! I hope you enjoyed this lil’ one shot because I sure didn’t :D