Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ash crawled out the window, jumping down and ran with a limp through the dewed grass. His socks became soaked with the fresh morning dew but he kept running. He ran until the mansion faded into the night’s backdrop. Sprinting through the city. Sharp rocks slicing at his feet but he doesn’t mind. Eventually, he has to stop, even for a brief moment to catch some breath. The cold fall air prickling his lungs. He leans up against the wall of a tall building - not caring where he is - as long as he can get as far away from that mansion as his feet will take him.

The day passed and he ran. By the time the day ends he’s exhausted, almost passing out in between each sorry breath. He hid between the nearest Target and the lower grade competing grocery store’s alley way. He crouched down, his knees tucked in between his chest and the ground with his feet flat on the ground. Resting his head between his joints. He rubbed at the heavily bruised spot on his lower calf. His cold nose twitched like a bunny. He closed his eyes hoping for rest. He slept half awake and half asleep at the same time.
He woke up to the feeling of hunger, something he’s grown used to but still tends to bother him. He stands up, stretching his legs out after holding the same squatting position for what he was guessing a little over four hours. He pulls out his dying phone to confirm the time. Right on. The morning sun began to cast light into the start of the alley. A manager comes out of the building carrying a large clear garbage bag.
“Go away, it’s trespassing to dig through dumpsters. If I catch you here again, I’ll be calling the cops.” She says, swinging the heavy bag above her shoulder into the opening she created with her other hand.
Rude. He thought to himself, before limping out of the alley way, blocking his eyes from the sun like the flip-down mirror in a car.

He wandered through the large blocks that intertwined through the city almost making it like a maze from above. Without a clear goal on what to do now he just sauntered around. Looking through the windows of the odd shops throughout the area. People glare at him. Screaming that he’s just a waste of space without having to use any words. His clothes are dirty and scuffed and his socks still damp. At one point he thinks maybe it’s best to take them off but then decides against it. His fingers and toes are already beginning to feel nothing but cold. Not cold enough to get frostbite but enough to make the boy uncomfortable. He occasionally rubbed his hands and toes together to try to generate some kind of protection for his digits.

He does this for five days before actually hunger gets to him. The occasional search through the garbage wasn’t really working in his favor. Only pulling up wrappers with less than a couple bites each. The migraine pulses in his head. Only by chance does he come across an “advertisement” for a volunteer food bank.
You’ll only be using up the resources that other people need, you don’t need it.
He tells his inner critic to shut up.
He would look the directions up on his phone but it had already died and he hasn’t gotten a chance to charge it.

He stands in front of the decent sized building with a couple windows to the outdoors. He wipes his hands off in his shirt and scrapes his feet on the overused welcome mat. Feeling a small rock dislodge from his heel. He tucks his golden blond hair behind his ears. He stands alone in a small entryway. A woman comes up to the interior door.
“Hey.” She says with a sickly sweet voice yet so judgemental. “Are you lost?” She scans him up and down, pitying his poor appearance.
“No,” he pauses in between the words, contemplating just leaving and figuring something out on his own, “I- heard.” He pulls the poster out of his pocket and uncrumpled it. Handing it over to the older women.
“Oh I see, it seems you got the wrong building. Six buildings down on the right side of the street.” She points in the proper direction.
He finally enters the right building. People buzz around, some sleep on their bags and a few in the cots that scatter against the walls. He has no reason to feel out of place but he does. His designer clothes which would normally set him apart from a normal crowd now are what makes him blend in. He watches as a young woman, probably just younger than him feeding an infant, receives a blanket from a person with ‘volunteer’ strung across their back. The amount of people makes him uncomfortable, the sound of chatter and movement is almost too much for a sleep deprived Ash. He sees the line of men, women and a couple children waiting patiently for some food. He gets in the line, playing with his dead phone. An older man asks to cut in front of him, Ash being polite allows him to.

When it’s his turn to receive something to eat he doesn’t say a word. Until a tall buff man handing out the warm soup speaks to him. “Would you like some soup, kid?” He says pouring the chunky mixture into a plastic bowl from the dollar store.
“Sure.” Ash says with a little shrug.
“Here y’a go.” He says leaning over the fold up table. Noticing the condition of the kids feet, “do you want shoes? I’m sure we have some in the back.” He said vaguely pointing with his thumb. After Ash basically scarfed down the fresh meal he’d been given the light haired man calls out for another volunteer to cover his spot in the line. Apologizing for his interruption. “Here, follow me.”
Ash looks at the man with a glare. Old fuck probably just wants a handie. As long as he gets something out of it he’s fine - whether it’s a pair of used shoes or an extra slice of the thin bread that he’s handing out with the watered down soup.
The man holds open the heavy door as Ash walks through. “What size are you?” He asks.
Ash doesn’t know, Golzine ever allowed him to know. Even went so far as purposely wearing down or taking out the place that would tell him. Just to make Ash as dependent on the man as possible. His silence was enough of an answer for the man to begin digging around through shelves and shelves of canned food and used but not damaged clothes. While the man’s distracted Ash easily walked over to some cans and pocketed them. Briefly looking passed the shelf.

“Ah ha!” He exclaimed, holding the shoes up as he turned around to Ash standing awkwardly by the door, the cans outline vaguely hidden through his jacket pocket. “I figured you were probably about a size 10. But we have others if these are too big or small.”
“Thanks,” he takes a moment, “man.” He takes the shoes in both hands.
“Max, no biggie.” He pointed to the tag of his shirt which Ash hadn’t noticed.
“What do you want for it?” He straightened his posture, “I don’t have any cash.”
Max looks at him with confusion until his eyebrows raise quickly, “oh, nothing. It’s what we do.” His lips curl upwards in a kind and caring way that puts Ash on his toes. “Oh! And you need socks as well?” He runs over to a shelf and brings over a pack of clean white socks with blue stripes around the rims. Ash wasn’t going fight against this offer, he may not want to ask for help but he’s not going to go out of his way to avoid it.

He leaves the area before trying on the shoes, not wanting to lower himself to the ground. Afraid that if he does, then something would happen to him, that he’d realize that this Max character does want something in exchange. He walks into the handicapped stall, sitting on the toilet and he puts the red shoes on. Perfect fit. He fumbles with the laces before just giving up, tucking the strings instead. He curses towards himself.
Stupid, you’re so fucking stupid. First you take things that others need, then you can’t even be a man and tie them up.
He stood up, walking out into the stall to wash his hands. Ash watched through the mirror as men walked into the bathroom. Talking together until the one man looks up at Ash. He whispers something to the other. Ash finishes washing his hands and aims to leave.
“Isn’t that Papa Dino’s property?” The shorter of the two smirks, nudging the other.
Shit. Ash bursts from the bathroom. In a scramble he darts through the crowd. Occasionally bumping into people but he doesn’t care. He can’t get caught, not yet. Barely even a taste. Not even a sample of what it’s like to be free. He made eye contact with Max - who was quickly blocked out by the two men - as he stumbles through the door. Running into the street, jumping over a parked car. Every so often confirming that he’s still being chased and the cans of soup he was hiding go flying out of his pocket aiming right for the heads of the attackers. He dodged through alley after alley until he stared at a tall brick wall. Pinning him.
“There’s a pretty little bounty on you, pretty boy.” The tall one licks his lips as he rubs his palms together like a cartoon villain. Ash pulls out a switchblade out of his back pocket which was quickly knocked out of his shaky hand. Restraining the boy, who's ready to finally give in.
“Hey!” A familiar voice huffs. Ash peers with one eye open and other smushed against the wall. Max stands there at the intersection. “Get off the kid!” Max being a distraction gives Ash just enough time to shift his strength, pushing the skinny tall one into the opposite wall. Ash lets out a soft wince from pain but not as loud as the thud the impact makes.
Max pulls Ash aside harshly rolling up his sleeve showing off his muscles. More a bluff than a threat as he prefers not to use violence anymore. The two men run off leaving the pair behind. Max lets out a sigh to drop any of the leftover tension of the situation. “You okay?”
Ash doesn’t reply. He’s dealt with worse. He can handle this. Only picking up his discarded blade and putting it into his back pocket.
“Do you want me to call the cops?”
“No!” Ash blurts, desperate to not call attention to himself because he knows that at least three fourths of the law enforcement in the area have been paid off by Dino. “I provoked them.” He said matter-a-factly. After all, if he hadn’t run away than they wouldn’t have chased him.

The two walk back to the shelter, Ash walking a couple beats behind Max. “Are you a run away?” Max asks, briefly looking back at Ash. Ash scratches at his arm, trying to come up with a lie but before he could Max spoke up again, “is it bad?”
Ash looks away, “not really. Others have it worse.”
“Life’s not a competition.”
Ash doesn’t go into the building, but he watches the Max guy go in.

He goes back to wandering the streets for months, returning to the shelter for food only when he’s desperate. Selling out his body occasionally to make some cash. Mondays and Thursdays. That’s when Max works there. Everytime Max sees him a smile appears on the six foot man’s face. A glad smile, a relieved one but it lasted only a few seconds before Max had saw the purple eye Ash had been given after not “being good enough” to get this old guy with erectile dysfunction up. This time Max stops what he’s doing and calls over someone else to man the station. Ash eats a bowl of chili, looking out the window at the snow blowing in harsh gusts. Little snow tornadoes form for seconds as the large chunks of snow dance around each other. The winter had begun in full swing. Max places his hand on the kids should. Ash’s shoulders jump as he immediately reaches for his knife. Twisting around with his still concealed weapon. But not using it after he realized it was just Max.
“Hey, kiddo.” Max takes a seat on the window ledge. Facing Ash. “How’s it going?”
“Fine.”
“Are you cold?” He says pointing to Ash’s lack of jacket.
Someone stole it last week, “no, I’m fine.”
“I,” Max doesn’t know how to bring this up, “was thinking. Well, um, I don’t really like the idea of a child being out on the streets,” Ash stops him right there.
“No and I’m not a child.” He says glaring down at Max. “I don’t want to deal with cops or whatever they’re called - the people to take children.”
“Okay, I figured that, that’s why I was going to propose you stay in my spare bedroom. I’ve already discussed it with my wife and she agrees.” Ash stops eating, “Just for the winter of course, until the risk of freezing to death is over.”
Ash thinks it over. Weighing out the pros and cons.
Pros • shelter, he doesn’t seem like the Dino type.
Cons • he’s probably wanting something out of it.
Ash accepts Max’s offer.

Chapter Text

Max is a dutiful man with a consistent schedule. A community man, a caring person. From helping the old lady a couple houses down carry her groceries in - to volunteering at one of the local homeless shelters in his spare time. Collecting pennies off the sidewalk and putting them in an old five gallon water jug for Micheal’s college fund. While doing his twice weekly run around at the shelter he spots a young boy walk in out of the corner of his eye. Brushing his hands off into his expensive looking black jacket but at the same time looking disheveled. He studies the room while anxiously picking at the skin around his fingers.

Once the boy gets to Max he takes a closer look. The kid looks about thirteen. When he speaks his voice is deeper than Max expected it to be. It’s not deep like an adult’s but deeper than the average tween. As Max reaches over the table he can’t help but catch sight of the poor excuse of footwear the kid stood with. The kid looked tired, blurred. Something he could easily recognize in others, something he used to be. He offered the kid some newish shoes and socks, hoping he liked the colour. After the kid had left he logged the things that were taken; men’s size ten shoes, five pairs of socks, and three cans of soup. Signing his initials in the column where it was required. He smiles to himself, glad he could be of aid. But he couldn’t help but wonder why a child was showing up here all alone. Usually kids on the streets get picked up by the cops and given help from CPS, oftentimes getting returned to their parents after a run away attempt, but if the case is severe enough they’ll get removed from their guardian’s care all together. The kid walked with a small and disguised but visible limp. Max wasn’t sure what from, but it isn't his place to ask.

A commotion begins, which isn’t out of the ordinary for the shelter but still nonetheless uninvited. He got a glimpse of the boy from earlier hitting the ground. Powering through the momentum of the moment to bust out through the front door as two grown men pursue him. Violence is not prohibited within the shelter and Max decided to take this one into his own hands. Max sprints, his legs becoming quite sore but he was on a mission. He swerved through the street traffic, following the broken cans that now spill out into the city streets. He kind of felt bad for wasting the food but glad that he has a trail to follow. 

Max calls the adult’s attention onto himself, his heart beating fast. The two stop beating on the kid who doesn’t let out a sound. Not a cry, not a whimper, nothing. 

Max unlocks the front door using the octopus print key that Micheal had chosen when he was six. He places his bag beside the door as he pulls off his boots.

“Daddy! Look what I did at school today!” Micheal holds out a cut out snowman glued onto a marker background. Max takes the paper, admiring the strokes of marker which bleed together in an almost unpleasant way. His eyes light up as he glances up at Micheal, “wow! This is really amazing! Why don’t we take this to the fridge? I’ll meet you there.”

“Okie dokie.” Micheal gleefully skips to the kitchen with Max following closely behind him. 

Max walks up behind Jessica, grabbing her hips from behind as he plants a sweet kiss on her cheek. “Hey luvbug, whatcha making?” He looks down at the broccoli under her knife.

“None of your business,” she smirks with content, “why don’t you wash the dishes? We’re out of plates.” The family being so busy all the time makes it hard to complete chores around the house. The house seems to always be messy but never dirty. Micheal helps as much as an eight year old can but he does it with a whine and a stomp in his step. The two being ‘competing’ journalists meant they were always trying to beat each other to the newest story, it was never aggressive though, always playful and once one got to the story first then the other couldn’t do it. That’s only if Jessica wasn’t assigned an article that Max had already been working on - which happens sometimes because Jessica worked in a company while Max works freelance.

Jessica opens her phone and connects it to the kitchen speaker, playing the radio’s mix and whenever that one annoying song comes up she runs over and switches the song. 

Micheal sits at the table, colouring with his finger on his iPad. Humming the tune of the song as he kicks his legs. 

After dinner and Micheal is put to bed the two lovebirds sit down on the couch to catch up on each other's day as they watch one of those copy paste home renovation shows. Jessica talks about her touchy boss who manages to get on her nerves every chance he gets.

“Have you reported him to HR yet?” Max asks, looking away from the TV.

She shakes her head subtly, “no, I’d rather not stir the pot.”

“Yeah, but if it makes you uncomfortable then you should report it.”

“I hear he’s leaving for a new job in three months. So I'll just wait it out.”

“I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do Jess. But I think it’s a good idea to report him.”

“Okay, noted. How was the shelter?” She shifts topics - no longer wanting to talk about it.

Max thinks for a second, “alright, but it was kind of weird.” Scratching at the back of his neck.

“Weird? What do you mean weird?”

“This kid came in, he was all by himself. The clothes he was wearing were brand names but… he looked - I don’t know - tattered. No shoes, just ripped socks that weren’t doing anything to protect him from the cold.”

“Isn’t that normal for the shelter? People coming in looking like a mess?”

“Yeah, but… he was just a kid. Then after I gave him shoes and socks he went to the bathroom. Then like five minutes later he comes bursting through the door being chased by two grown men. I catch up to them and they’re beating the ever living shit out of him.”

“What happened?” She questioned, intrigued with the story.

“I’m not quite sure. I asked, but all he said was that he provoked them.”

Two months pass with Max giving Jessica the occasional update on the kid. Max couldn’t help but worry about the kid’s well being, even a couple times he came close to calling CPS on the days that he’d come in looking extra rattled. Max eventually got a name out of the kid, Ash. And Ash wasn’t thirteen as he previously thought. He was just thin looking and had a baby face. Max didn’t end up calling anyone because the first day he met Ash, the way Ash looked at him when he asked if he needed him to call the police.

“Jessica? Can we talk?” He speaks low and quiet. Shifting around anxiously around the kitchen.

Jessica looks her husband up and down trying to read him, “yeah. What’s up?”

“You know how it’s winter?”

“Max.” She almost glares with only slight annoyance, “just get to the point please?” She puts her phone down on the table face down.

“Fine. Okay. Um.” He stumbles through his words like rocks rolling down a hill, “Can Ash stay with us for the winter.” He says swiftly, the words kind of blending into one long one. Max tenses up waiting for Jessica’s response.

“What?” She exclaims, surprised and confused, “we can’t just,” she pinches the bridge of her nose, “we can’t just take in some kid off the street.”

“Please. I’m really worried about him, it’d just be for the winter. Then he’ll leave.”

Jessica thinks it over, the family isn’t rich but they aren’t poor either. Would they even be able to afford an extra mouth to feed? “Did the kid ask you for this? To stay with us?” She clarifies.

“Well, no.”

“How do you know he needs help, what if he’s just milking your kindness.”

“Jessica!” He says completely flabbergasted that something like that would even come out of her mouth.

“What?!” She whisper-yells, trying not to wake up Micheal who’s sleeping upstairs. “I’m just asking. We have an eight year old upstairs, what if we bring in some raging drug addicted teen who’s going to hurt our child .”

“He won’t!” Max protests this accusation, “he won’t. He’s a good kid. I can tell.”

“How? Have you ever thought there might be a reason that this kid is out on the streets?” 

“ No kid deserves to live a life on the streets!” Max becomes very angered at this statement. How dare the love of his life not trust his judgment. “Jessica.” He says in a breathy voice as he tries to calm himself down, one exhale at a time. Holding his hands tightly together. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll kick him out. Just please. Think about it? If you trust me, please.”

“Fine.” Jessica comes up to Max out of the blue weeks later. Max is slightly confused on what Jessica is talking about, “I thought about it,” that’s when it clicked and Max understood what Jess was on about, “I trust you. And if you think this kid is good then go ahead. But if he lays one hand on me, you and godforsaken, Micheal, I’ll be calling the cops immediately to remove him from the premises.

“Really?!” Max exclaimed excitedly.

“There’s going to be rules though, he has to go to school while he’s living with us, no drinking, no drugs, no swearing - anything that will get either us or him in trouble.”

Chapter Text

Ash waits around the shelter for the day, mostly hiding out in the bathroom. Not wanting to be seen by anyone who may be affiliated with Golzine. His foot taps as he sits in the gray plastic chair. He watches Max chat with an older lady in a ‘management’ uniform. Ash crosses his arms leaning back, the chair turning it a lighter shade of gray from the pressure. 

Time passes slowly, more slowly than usual. Waiting sucks, unsure what to do with his time. 

It was 4 which is whem Max said that they’d be leaving. He twiddled with his thumbs, watching them dance in small circles around each other. The ‘rules’ that Max had told him about are still in the forefront of his brain. 

Ash hadn’t been to school since he was in second grade. After he’d been outcasted from his classmates he stopped going all together, staying in his room all day and staying up all night. His father didn’t say anything about it - didn’t even protest. Not a single “get his ass in gear,” in that stern, annoyed voice that his father used to give him before the incident. Not a single word. On the rare chance that he did go to school the teachers didn’t care. Ignoring his existence to help the more worthy children. 

Once Ash had run away was the ending of his formal education, but he was given a different kind of education. One that won’t do him any good on a job application but that does him wonders for the streets. He wonders why Max is so nice to him and what the price will be. Ash isn’t sure what high school is going to be like. If it’s anything that films portray it to be, with the whole soapy queen bee and football captain cliche who pick on the nerdy kid for watching Star Craft - or whatever it’s called. Not that he cares - he’s just curious. He can’t help but be nervous, but he’s not sure how he’s even supposed to start school because don’t you need some form of ID to prove that you are who you say you are. Ash had been smart enough to steal his birth certificate out of his fathers safe, but once he was picked up by Dino it had been taken from him. A strip of his identity, rebranded into Lynx. 

Max finishes up with his volunteer work, running to the back room to grab his car keys. Humming the tune that Micheal had been repeating nonstop for days now. He calls for Ash, drawing him in with the wave of his hand. Ash stands up, his shoes squeaking from the texture of the floor. He catches up the burly man, pacing himself just behind him. Ash observes the red SUV, salt stained from the winter roads, little scratches and dents from years of being played around. Max uses the inside buttons to unlock the passenger side door. 

Ash uses his sleeve while using the handle so as to not feel the snow’s sting on his cold sting. Afterwards shaking his arm just enough to get the excess off. Little chunks land on the dash and Ash apologies for the inconvenience. He picks it up with his hands holding it there until it melts. Feeling the droplets of water fall through his palms onto his lap. Disregarding his whole act of not wanting to touch the handle because it’d be cold. Max doesn’t seem to mind, but Ash doesn’t believe it. One time Ash had done that same act and Marvin had given him an hour long rant about how much of a spoilt brat he was. Occasionally smacking him on the side of the head with a rolled porn magazine. But Max does nothing of the sort. Only trying to hold up conversation in the awkward stale air. The heaters blow out warm air which Ash basks in. Letting it sink deep into his freezing bones.

“So, what kind of TV do you like?” He taps his finger on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.

“I don’t know - not a big fan,” Ash says quietly, occasionally side-eyeing Max as he keeps his distance but not enough to be noticeable. Leaning on the frame of the interior of the window, he stares at the frost, wishing that he could scratch it away but not wanting to leave his fingerprints all over the windows.

“Oh, okay.” Max buffers as his brain searches for a new conversation topic. His eyes widening as he locks onto a new one, “do you like any sports?”

“I used to play baseball,” he avoids eye contact with the man, “I don’t anymore.”

“Why not? Injury?” He questions, readjusting his rear view mirror to a spot uncovered by the white blanket. 

Ash stops to think, injury - he laughs inwardly, if you can even call it that. Somehow seducing your baseball coach turned into leading him on and then shooting him three times with a gun you found in your fathers drawer. Sure, it hurt, but Ash had it coming, but Mr. Wilson didn’t deserve what Ash had done to him. “Something like that.”

“I had a couple sports injuries in my day,” he says pointing to his elbow, “fell flat over on it during a game. Same sport as you actually,” he gestures to Ash vaguely with his hand - still focused on driving, “almost won too,” he says fondly with a distant smile. The corners of his mouth, just barely forming upwards to the sky.

“Mhm,” Ash responds, barely interested in the conversation.

Ash gets out of the car, slowly closing the door instead of slamming it shut which he would’ve done if it was Marvin but wouldn’t for Golzine. He looks at the house, subconsciously comparing it to the house that he grew up in. The house has a large porch with an overhang and a swing strung up from a tree. With a white picket fence holding it all together nicely. Great, the American Dream. He stands there impatient but still nonetheless quiet while Max unlocks the door. He crosses his arms together tightly. Buffing up his chest enough to take in a large inhale. Holding it there for safe keeping. He walks in, looking around the painted white walls. The family photos hung neatly in a pleasing size and pattern. The frames - cheap like they’re from IKEA. Jessica sits cross legged with a blanket bunched up on her legs. Her hair - long and blond, a couple shades lighter than his. Tied neatly into a high ponytail and side bangs that covers one quarter of her face. She reads a book. Ash can’t read the cover as it’s too far away but the big blue with blurred white stands out against what he could see. Jessica glances to and from her book quickly. 

“You must be Ash,” she says with an emotionally distant but still trying to be nice tone. She wasn’t being rude to Ash, she just doesn’t think the kid will stay for too long. “Jessica.” She outstretches her hand over the couch for Ash to shake. Which he does, with a fake smile casting across his face.

“How are you?” He nodded in response.

“Good, how about you?” She added an automatic response from working in the corporate setting for so long.

“As good as one can be.” He presses his lips together creating a single flat line.

Max shouts up for Micheal, a deep and loud one. A young kid comes scampering down the stairs jumping into his fathers arms. Who quickly directs his attention to Ash. Ash eyes the young boy who looks like a perfect replica of the two. His mothers blue eyes and his fathers light brown straight hair - messier though. 

“Micheal, Ash. Ash, Micheal.” Max introduces, his hands flapping about like a baby bird’s first time flying.

“Hi!” Micheal bubbled. Ash stares down at the child with disgust. Uncomfortable by his presence. Ash does a silent hello using his chin, a quick movement often seen by two white dads as they pass each other on the side of the road. “Wanna play video games with me?” Micheal says with a giddy smile. 

“No, sorry. I don’t know how.” Ash wants to leave the area. His body involuntary cringes.

“Please! I’ll teach you!” The child grabs at his hand which causes Ash to recoil backwards with force knocking into a coffee table. 

Stop. Don’t touch him. You’ll ruin him. Max looks at Ash strangely, wondering what just happened. “Sorry.” Ash mutters around, wiping his hands onto his shirt before fixing the items he displaced.

“Why don’t I show you your room?” Max shifts the energy of the room. Leaping over a couple stairs.

Max shows him the bedrooms and where the bathroom is on the second level. Ash’s bedroom is placed opposite to the bathroom and beside Max and Jessica’s - Micheals being the one beside the bathroom. The room was a decent size - not quite as big as the one in Dino’s mansion but not too small that it would be claustrophobic. The room is lightly decorated, floral wallpaper decorates the one wall. Small knick knacks clutter the dresser and other places where things can be held, but the room is tidy. Not a single pillow out of place - like the room hadn’t been touched in months. Light dust covers the hard surfaces that he wipes away with his finger. 

Max leans against the doorway, “it ain’t much but I hope it’ll do. I left some of my old clothes in the drawers for you because I noticed your lack of - ye - well - stuff,” he tells the cold hard truth, “they don’t fit me anymore - so I thought you could use it.” He smiles sheepishly.

“Thanks,” Ash says, patting on the bed feeling the texture of the blanket, glancing up at the man in the doorway. For a quick second, in between a blink he’d thought he’d seen Dino instead of Max.

“Dinners in an hour, if you need anything feel free to ask. It’s going to be awkward for the first little bit. But once we get in a rhythm everything will turn out good.” The room falls completely silent as Max leaves. For the first time in a long time Ash is left completely alone. He thinks maybe he should lock the door, but his mind tells him no. He’s not allowed, but Max didn’t say he’s not allowed to lock the door. Not that there was a lock on the door anyway - but if he really wanted to he could pull the armchair from the corner in front. He doesn’t though, taking in the silence of the evening. Hearing the faint voices through the floor. Finally taking a seat on the bed.

During dinner the family chatted away, Ash kind of felt left out but then he’d remind himself that they don’t have to talk to him. He’s just there. He had no clue how he’d even gotten into this situation. Eating dinner with a woman she’s never seen before, a man that he’d just met and an eight year old child. 

That’s why Ash almost flinched when Jessica snapped him out of his ruminating. 

“Huh?” Ash delayed.

“It’ll take a couple days to get schooling situated, until then you can either stick around here during the day or go out.” Jessica reported, playing around with her food. Which Ash finds almost shocking. Suddenly finding himself back at the table with Dino, counting seconds, timing. Bite, bite, pause, drink, bite. Don’t chew for too long but also don’t inhale or you look too desperate. The perfect. A happy medium. 

“I don’t have any ID,” Ash states quietly, “I can’t go to school.” If Dino knew, knew that he’d even had a discussion involving school in general he’d flip his shit - but Ash can’t even begin what will happen if he knew that they were talking about him actually going. 

Jessica looks up at the kid, “oh, did you lose them?” 

“Someone stole it,” reminded that Ash is nothing more than a pet, something to own. 

“I’m sure we can figure something out, I don’t think you’ll have a problem getting into school. But we’ll see if we can get that back.” Max chimed in, shoving a fork of mashed potatoes into his mouth.

These people aren’t normal. Something was off about them in a way that he’d never felt before. At heart it scared Ash, it meant that he’d just entered an unreadable situation. 

“No,” Ash says in a slow mumble, “it’s alright. I don’t need it.”

“You know you’ll need an ID to get a job someday?” 

Like Ash was ever planning on getting a job, he knew that he’d probably die before he turned eighteen. If he didn’t then he’d be walking the streets until he did. At least he’d be useful until he lost his looks and began to weather and age.

Ash sat on the bed all night, watching the door. Listening to the house settle. He can’t help but jolt back awake at any slight sound. His eyes fluttered, trying their hardest to stay awake, they felt like cement. Gluing themselves shut. A wave of exhaustion flowing through his body. Closing his eyes and embracing sleep for the first time in a long time.

Chapter Text

Just like Max said - it was awkward the first few days. Jessica was in ‘guest mode’ - which basically meant that she was constantly trying to keep Ash busy. Always asking Ash needed anything, offering teas and coffees when he would leave the bedroom. She had mellowed out after three days of this. It was quite strange for Ash. He’s never been treated like that before. To not have someone coming into his room in the middle of the night was not as peaceful as he thought it would be. Constant fear and anxiety filled him, he was always on edge. Everytime someone would knock on the door his heart would feel like it’s going to drop right out of his chest. 

It was Ash’s testing day, Max woke him up with a clack on the door. Ash didn’t appreciate this one bit, how dare he be woken up from his slumber. Then he remembered that Jessica and Max had explained to the school since his ID was missing they agreed to let him go to school with an agreement that Ash would have to try and gain access to his ID. The only thing that Ash needs now is a placement test because of the lack of records. 

Max drove him to the school, Ash glared at the school. It was large, reddish bricks and people his age smoking at a no smoking sign. “Do you want me to come in with you?” Max asks, placing a hand on the blond's shoulder. Ash shook his head, he’d be fine. He’s always been fine. He didn’t need help, especially for some so - so easy, so - he didn’t know how to describe it, not safe but something along those lines. He knew that this wasn’t life or death but for some reason it felt like it was. What if he fails? Will he be kicked out? Is it even possible to fail a placement test? What even is a placement test? Ash has no clue. It’s so uncertain. But he opens the car door and steps out anyway. Holding himself together by constantly readjusting the jacket that Max had given him. Ash closes the door and moments later Max rolls down the window, “I’ll be back in two hours, I’ve gotta go shopping. If you’re done before that just wait around the school.” Max gleams starting up the SUV again then he drives off.

Ash shifts around on his feet for a second before belining it to what looks like the front door. He swings open the heavy door. The halls were crowded, people passing him by constantly. It was disorienting to see the amount of teenagers who stood chatting in the middle of the hall. The last time Ash had seen this many people was when Dino made him attend one of his auctions. Luckily, the office wasn't as packed as everywhere else. The receptionist talks to a girl who pinches the bridge of her nose with a blood soaked kleenex. 

“Thanks!” The girl waves at the lady as she leaves the room. 

The receptionist immediately turns her attention towards Ash, “hello?” 

Ash fumbles around with his words, “I- uh, placement test!” He blurts. She goggles at the kid for a minute and Ash can’t help but think about how Dino would be so ashamed of him right now. “Sorry,” his eyes darted to all the inspirational quotes littered around the room, “I’m Ash… I’m here for a placement test - or something like that.”

“Oh, I think I have a note about that somewhere here,” she digs around the desk, looking for a specific note when she spots it in plain sight on her computer monitor, “Aha! Here it is.” She holds up the blue sticky note with some messy handwriting on it, “what’s your last name Ash?” 

The question caught him off guard, he stood there stunned, unknowing what to say. If he told her his real last time then she might look him up - she might find out about what he’d done, that he’s a run away murderer. He tries to think of a name, but he blurts out the first thing to come to his mind.

“Ash… L- y -n-x, right?” she says slowly as she types it into the system, “and how old are you Ash?”

“Sixteen. August 12th 2000.” He assumed she was going to question next. 

A guy with a purple Mohawk is guided by the elbow into the office, Ash looks him up and down. “Shorter. Sit,” the teacher points to the seat. Shorter takes a seat in a huff.

He crosses his arms, sliding down the seat so that his butt is almost at the very edge. “I ain’t done anything wrong, Rinster.” 

“Tell that to the principal. I’m sure Principal Jenkins will appreciate knowing that you’ve brought weed into his school.”

“Did nothing of the sort sir.” He snarks.

“Sure,” the teacher rolls his eyes as Mr. Rinster turns around, he locks eyes with Ash. The teacher immediately averts his gaze but Ash can’t help but stare at the familiar man. 

“He’s such a dick.” Shorter’s serious look shifts into a downward smile, loud enough for the teacher to hear, “he always seems to be up my ass for things I didn’t do. I’ve never seen you before. You new?”

“I guess.”

“Oh! Mr Rinster! I was just about to call for you, your ten o’clock is here.”

The receptionist called for Ash, he turned back around to see her. Mr. Rinster tells her he’ll be out in a minute. Ash takes a seat beside the other kid. Shorter plays a game on his phone. 

After Shorter was brought into the principals office and Mr. Rinster brings Ash through to behind the desks to an small room with a desk and two chairs. Ash sits down into the comfortable chair - much more pleasant to sit in than the chairs in the front. The name on the door said guidance.

“Now,” the man says twisting his chair around, “because the regular guidance councillor isn’t here, I’ll be filling in for the evaluation.” He pulls out a loose stack of papers, tapping them into a neat stack. Sliding it over to the kid. Ash flips through the pages, not actually looking through them just examining them. “Take your time, Lynx. ” The emphasis put on the name sent a chill down Ash’s spine. Why did he choose that name, out of any name he could’ve said his last name was - why did he choose that one. Maybe he did it on purpose. To send himself into shock every time he heard it. 

Ash takes his time, thinking through every question, he spends a very long time answering a couple questions but manages to either guess or get an answer which he hopes he’s right. Dino hadn’t completely denied Ash education, but it came after work. Often times he was too exausted to pay attention dispite how much he wanted. The teacher observes Ash, watching him scribble down his answers onto the printed piece of paper. Rinster’s eyes make him uncomfortable, like he’s burning alive. Like somethings going to go wrong.

A bell rings as he’s midway through the test, Mr. Rinster stands up and excuses himself. As he leaves the room the man squeezes Ash’s shoulder. Ash stops - dropping the pencil to the floor. He looks at the door, hands shaking, memories flashing through his mind like cars on a highway. It hit him. The reason why he felt like he’s seen him before. He takes deep breaths, trying to keep calm. Just write . So he does, picking up the pencil on the floor. In between each question the heavy feeling washes over him. It feels like his chest is tightening, like he can’t breathe. But he can’t show it. He’s gotten good at this. Hiding it, since he’s been a kid - since Griff left - he hasn’t cried. Hasn’t felt much of anything execpt fear.

Ash finishes up the test quickly after the realiztion, just wanting to leave but then it hits him. Shit. Dino will know, if Dino find out where he is he’s going to go back. 

“Rinster.” Ash speaks up, his voice in an illusion of confidence, “are you going to tell him?” Ash looks at the man’s hand, he brushes it lightly with his finger. His eyes  green eyes shining just right from the lighting of the room. He feels sick to his stomach, but he’d do anything not to get caught. To not get sent back to Dino.

“This stays between us, Lynx,” Rinster smirks, “you do as I say and Golzine will not be informed.” Once he’s finally alone in the bathroom he lets the hyperventilation begin. Grasping at his chest as his leg bounces up and down. Constantly wiping his face dispite the lack of tears. He loosens the collar of his tee - pulling it away, hearing a slight snap from the seams. 

When gets out he washes his hands, making sure to get under his short nails. In between each finger individually.

Ash gets into the car like nothing happened, a small smile flashes across his mouth. 

“How was it kiddo?” Max starts moving the car. The dice hanging from the rear view mirror jingle with the initial motion.

“Good.” 

It seems, that he’s still just puppet of Dino. Now for a different reason.

Chapter Text

“Ash?” Jessica yells up the stairs, “will you come down for a minute?” Ash pops his head out of the bedroom door to hear her better. He meets her at the bottom of the steps, “we’re going out to eat to celebrate you starting school,” she claps her hands together with a big smile, “it was Max’s idea.” 

“I don’t have any money,” Ash holds onto the ball of the railing.

“That’s okay, it’s on us. Be ready after school, oh, and the bus will be here soon,” she says handing him a paper bag. 

Max peeps through from the kitchen doorway, “you sure you don’t want a ride?”

“I’m good, I’ll figure it out on my own,” he says, grabbing the jean jacket off of the hook beside the door, pushing the half inside out sleeve fully through. 

Ash shakes the paper bags, inspecting it thoroughly, pulling out a sandwich with a sticky note attached which read ‘ have a good day’ with a smiley face scribbled beside it. He puts the baggy back into the paper. The bag crinkles as he shoves it in his pocket. He waits at a stop sign with a bunch of other teens until the long yellow and black bus pulls up beside him. Everyone piles on in  a single-field line. Ash takes an empty seat near the back of the bus. 

Ash reads the timetable that the office had given him, the design was incredibly confusing, apparently his classes would switch around weekly. He wandered around the school, admiring the cool murals scattered around, glancing passed the rooms trying to find the matching ‘homeroom’ number to the one on his sheet, he spotted it at the end of the hall. He doesn’t pick up his pace as the final bell rings - meaning he’s officially late for his first day of school. Ash leans against the open door frame, shoving his rather tense hands into his pocket. Feeling the paper bag, but not caring. There is some black haired kid talking with the teacher, he hands him a small paper and the teacher collects the class’ attention.

“It seems we have two new students,” the teacher motions Ash into the room, Ash leans against the dusty chalkboard as the teacher introduces herself, Mrs. Krabapple, “this is Eiji Okumura, he’s one of this year's exchange students,” Eiji gives a small wave to the class but his posture is as stiff as a board, “then there’s,” she looks at the attendance list in front of her. Squinting her eyes and shifting her thick glasses to better read the small font, “Ash Lynx, a new student,” Ash doesn’t give any acknowledgment of this announcement, only redirecting his gaze towards the place he’d rather be. Out the door, gone, anywhere other than here. “Would you like to introduce yourselves?” She poses.

The taller of the two speaks first, “hello, I’m Ok- Eiji Okumura, I came from Izumo Japan. I’m excited to get to know you all,” displays a friendly smile holding his hands firmly to his sides.

“And you?” She requested sitting down at her wooden desk.

“Ash,” is all he said, unsure of what else there is to say.

“Well, then, take any open seat you’d like. We don’t have assigned seating in my class but there seems to be an order of things,” she gleamed.

Ash took a seat in the corner of the room and the other kid a few seats up. Kids giggle in the opposite side of the room, showing each other the funny videos on their phones as the teacher goes off on some tangent about how some people believe the earth is flat which wouldn’t make any sense. Eiji and his row partner talk together but Ash doesn’t care, everyone stays clear of the boy for the period. 

Lunch goes by slowly as Ash eats the sandwich Jessica gave him all by himself, ripping the crust off with his fingers slowly. Placing it neatly on top of the bag that it came in. 

Shorter slides into the bench across from Ash, “aye,” he plops down the bland looking cafeteria down onto the plastic table.

“Hi?” Ash hesitates.

“Why didn’t you come looking for me?” Shorter lightheartedly asks, taking one of the soggy looking french fry, Shorter's face frowns in disgust at the mush in his mouth.

“Those look absolutely delicious .” Ash’s shoulders cringe as he poorly attempts to hide a faint chuckle under his breath.

Shorter waves the fry in Ash’s face, “here have one!” 

Ash waves his hands in front of him, “no thanks. I’m good.”

“Ou,” Shorter points to the pile of crusts on the table, “you gunna eat those?” He doesn’t wait for Ash’s answer before taking the handful and shoving them in his mouth.

“Much better, huh?” 

“Ten times.” Shorter nods repeatedly, brimming with silent laughter. “What classes you got?”

Ash shrugs, “not sure how to read this thing,” he takes the abomination of a piece of paper out of his pocket.

“Well no wonder, it’s so scrunched up that it’s unreadable.” He exaggerated, he flattened the paper out with the side of his hand. Shorter takes some time to place each class in his mind but once he does he speaks up, “aye yo,” he exclaims, “you’ve got Mr. Rinster’s gym with me.” Shorter bangs on the table with something similar to exhilaration. The people around them look at them with annoyance, Shorter doesn’t care though so neither does Ash. Ash’s face and stomach sank at those stupid six words. The realization that he wouldn't be able to ignore the man as easily as he thought he could. “It’s the end of day class, it’s easy, don’t worry.” Shorter nudged him a little. 

“Yeah?” Ash says, half out of the conversation entirely. 

“Oh!” Shorter plunged his hands down onto the table as he saw Eiji walk into the cafe, swinging his clumsy legs over the seat. “New kid!” Shorter ‘guides’ Eiji by his shoulders towards Ash, “new kid, meet newbie.” Shorter’s face shows a little pat on the back to himself.

“He’s in my first class.” Eiji points out, placing his bag down on the seat. 

Ash doesn’t clue into Eiji even being there, he doesn’t mean to ignore the two but his mind was too busy thinking about Mr. Rinster and how he can avoid seeing him as much as possible. You can’t ignore him forever. His brain kept reminding him, he’ll tell Dino, it taunted. You have to go back eventually . 

Ash was summoned back into the conversation with a small involuntary jerk backwards, it wasn’t massive, or even noticeable but it was caused by Ash’s realization that Shorter had been waving his hands in his face for the past couple minutes. “Huh?” Ash begins to collect his thoughts together and push away anything unwanted.

“The bell rang, you gotta get to class.”

“Thanks.” 

Ash has one other class with Eiji but they exchange little words with each other. They’re from two different worlds, compared to Ash, Eiji looks like an angel. Polite and happy - unlike Ash who’s moody and gets on everyone’s nerves. Ash can’t help but to stare at the boy, drawn to him and he hates himself for it. Well, that may be a stretch, Ash hates himself in general. From his slight eavesdropping he learned that the kid used to be a pole vaulter - whatever that might be. 

The end of the school day rolled around, Ash stood at the door to the gymnasium. He thinks to back out, to leave school and not come back. To leave Max and Jessica and go back on the streets. He doesn’t. He walks into the room, everyone runs around, sneakers squeaking on the tile like flooring which is split in ‘areas’ by coloured lines on the floor. A group of girls sit on the stage, one girl braids the other’s hair.

Shorter runs up to Ash in the school's gym uniform, knee length shorts and a tight tee shirt with the school's logo printed on the back. Shorter hands him one, and points him in the direction of the change room. Ash walks in, looking for a stall or something similar to that to change. He doesn’t want his peers to see the fading bruises around his hips or the expensive cigar burns that have spent years trying to fade only for a new brandishing to find its way into Ash’s white skin. Ash didn’t want anyone to know, he didn’t want everyone to see what he deserved.

Ash let a sigh of relief out as he stepped off the school bus, letting the tension decrease as he had managed to leave before Mr. Rinster had a chance to call him back. It might be risky, but if he can delay the inevitable even just for a day or two then he’ll feel proud of himself.

Jessica greets Ash at the front door, sliding her nice shoes on. “I have to go out for a little but I’ll be back in time to leave for dinner,” she says, sliding her way out of the door.

“Okay.”

Why did Jessica feel the need to explain herself to Ash? Ash wouldn’t be able to object to this action. Why would Ash care what she does? It’s not like it’s going to affect him.

Chapter Text

The group arrives at the restaurant, Max talks about his newest research and how it’s going really steady. He’s currently doing a paper on how the government doesn’t actually recycle most things - that they just ship it off to some third world country that Ash has never heard of to be burned. Once they were seated Ash looked around, it wasn’t fancy like the places Dino would take him but it wasn’t cheesy like the places Griff would take him on special occasions. The place was busy, waiters buzzing around like bees around flowers. Most people laugh and someone else within Ash’s view cries into another’s shoulder. Holding what looks like a photo. 

“So, Ash? How was school?” Jessica took a sip of her white wine. Micheal plays Tic-Tac-Toe with Max who ends up losing the match. 

“It’s okay,” Ash says, twiddling with the rolled up fork and knife. He looks her in the eyes only to bounce back to the sea of tables. 

“Have you made any friends?” Max glances up at Ash then continues to play the game.

Ash takes a sip of the water beside him, “I guess - I think - his name is Shorter.”

“What kind of name is Shorter,” Ash froze, holding his drink mid set-down, but all Jessica does is give a small chuckle to herself before moving on to her next question, “is it a nickname?” 

“Not sure,” Ash admits, he felt bad for not knowing the answer but between his constant anxiety and trying to avoid Mr. Rinster there was no time. Ash knew that there wasn’t any need to get close either. That either Ash is going to; 

1. a) wind up dead,
2. b) go back to Dino,

Or, c) get kicked out and be back on the streets,

Making friends wasn’t his top priority, but he didn’t want to be a dick either and tell people to leave him alone. So if people wanted to talk to him he’d conversate back.

“Oh, well that’s okay, you’ve only just met.” Max chimes into the conversation.

Jessica interjects, “but it would still be a good idea to find out though. Do you like your teachers?”

“I don’t really know them. Except one. ” Ash lets slip with an eye roll, but Max and Jessica don’t know the underlying message, Ash puts on his best poker face. How would they react if they knew ? Knew that Ash was having an affair with his teacher, that Ash had tempted him. Option C would definitely be put in place. 

“Oh, did he teach you before?” Max asks.

Ash nods, swirling the clear pop in his glass. Something like that. If anything Ash had taught him something. He wants to let out a light laugh at his funny comment but chokes it down.

“Oh, cool! Maybe we should meet him.”

“No!” Ash blurts, before covering his mouth in such haste that the table next to them whispers about him. 

“Okay…” Jessica trails off slightly, finding Ash’s blurt out a bit odd, “anyways, I got you a little something.” She digs around in her purse for a little bit, pulling out random objects until she comes across what she’s looking for. A white envelope with Ash’s name sprawled across the front in Jessica’s neat handwriting. She passes it over to him and he’s not quite sure what to do with it. He’s never gotten an envelope before - at least in his recent memory, he guesses he probably got a couple as a kid but nothing significant. He knows that he has to open it, but is there a proper way? What if he does it wrong and they think he’s stupid like the little pet he is.  He sticks with the way that he’s seen Dino open his “paychecks” - by taking the butter knife out of the sleeve. Stabbing into the small opening in the front. His heart pumps faster. He slides the knife across the top. 

Does he look stupid? Are they judging him? Is he doing it wrong? Max and Jessica act like nothing is wrong. Maybe he's not doing it wrong? No, they’re just going to mock him later and he knows it. 

He pulls the smooth card out. Jessica leans on the table with anticipation. He looks at the cursive writing printed on the smooth surface. He squints his eyes trying to make out the words but since they’re in a strange font the letters blur together. He pulls it farther away which helps him but in the end he gives up and opens the card to Jessica’s handwriting which is much easier to make out.

Ash,

Hope you had a good first day. A couple sentences melt together in a way that makes it eligible for Ash. Can’t believe you’ve already been here for a month. 

Signed by Max, Jessica and in sloppy writing - Micheal.

“Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome Ash!” Micheal practically yells across the table banging his hand as he practically crawls on top of it with excitement. 

“Goddamnit Ash!” Dino slams his fork down onto the table with a furious glare. Ash flinches, his shoulders scrunching up with anticipation which is quickly met with a glass thrown at him - just missing his arm and shattering on the floor. He sits there, eerily silent, as the man screams threats and throws insults at him. “What will they say of you? You’ve ruined your reputation!” Dino stands up and storms towards him. The wine next to Ash forming a new ring per step, “you’ve ruined my reputation,” he seizes Ash’s hair, trying forcing eye contact but Ash adverts his eyes, “you stupid little whore.” 

All Ash manages to mutter out being a small apology to the oversized man. Dino lets go of the boy.

Ash stands up from the table in a hurry without an excuse. Not quite sprinting but still in a hurry. His vision is blurry than usual and the voices around him are growing louder than ever. He walks into the multi-stalled bathroom and holds the main door shut with his back as he slides down onto the floor. 

He’s slammed to the ground. Gasping for the air that was knocked out of him. “ Just kill me, ” Ash whispers in a long drawn out sentence.

“What did you just say?” Dino towers over Ash but he doesn’t look up at him. Not giving him that satisfaction of him submitting to him. 

“I said,” the breath is quiet but grows louder by each second, “kill me Dino .” 

Ash writhes in pain after a blow right to the torso courtesy of Dino’s foot. 

“Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!” Ash screams in between each blow that Dino delivers him in a pretty bow. “Do it! Do it!” The agony of his life flowing into his words, finally letting out the years of frustration and anguish. 

“Shut up!”

Ash screeches, every syllable becomes more and more overpowering over Dino’s voice. He pleads with anger for the man to kill him. To dump his body in the lake or in a shallow unmarked grave. So no one will know that there was ever a whore named Ash. So that there'll be no record of his existence.

Dino snatches Ash’s hair again and begins to drag him as he kicks and screams, “don’t think I won’t you worthless piece of shit!” Ash grasps at his hands yelping as he’s thrown against a wall. 

When Ash gets a small chance he takes it to stand up for once hitting Dino back. Battering his fists against the old man’s chest“Just fucking off me already! Do it!” Ash gets in his face. Dino slams his head into the wall. Ash screams for anyones’ attention but he watches the help stare at him. He watches as they leave him alone with the man that has been raping, that Ash has been suducing for years. “You fucking pedophile!” Ash begins to slam his own head into the wall. His eyes - not leaving the man who has been torturing him for almost a decade. “Look what you’ve done to me!” He pulls at his hair in chunks, “you did this to me!” Ash shrieks for the sake of shrieking, unable to do anything else with this pain he’s been holding onto for years. 

“Stop that!” Dino grows with something of anger and only slight concern for his plaything. “Don’t think I won’t Aslan!” 

“Ash?” Max attempts at the blocked door. Only hear a faint mumble at the other side and something banging against it. 

Ash clenches at his chest, his chest stinging from being rubbed raw by the fabric of his shirt. But he’s too far deep right now to feel anything. The visions overwhelming his entire being to the point he is reliving that night again. 

Max looks back at the table and debates if he should just give Ash some space but the way that Ash had left the table made Max worry. It’s unlike Ash to leave to table abruptly, let alone leave to table at all without being excused first. He can see Jessica peeking over from the table.

Max tries asking to come in multiple times but no answer.  Max pushes his way in not realizing that he had been pushing Ash in the process. He slips through the crack he made - just big enough for him to fit. He looks down at the strange kid, unsure of what to do. It looks like he’s crying but there’s nothing leaving his eyes. All he can do is sit across from Ash, he called his name a couple times but he Ash to even respond to Max’s presence. Max remembers a time when he was like that, he remembers it like it was yesterday. On his first Fourth of July after returning home from the Vietnam war, he was out drinking with his buddies when they decided to go see the fireworks. It was fine at first, but once a particularly loud firework went off something in his mind had been set off. It was like nothing else existed except for the memory playing over and over in his head. 

Max grabs his hand tightly, squeezing it gently until Ash’s eyes dilate and look Max in the face. 

“Go on! Do it!” A smile appears for the first time in the exchange but it fades as soon as it comes. “I can’t do this…” his voice trails off into something rather small. With a quiver Ash falls to the floor, panting, his knees bruised from the momentum of all his energy finally running out. He grabs onto Dino’s pants, Ash’s chest rising and falling in rapid succession as he realizes what he had just done. Ash finally looks up to the man. Watching the rage in Dino’s eyes towards him. He begs for forgiveness, to the point he takes off his clothes so that he can distract the man, so that he won’t hurt him.  No, Ash had been bad and Dino deserved an apology. Ash doesn’t deserve sympathy, Ash deserves to be hurt after all he’s done. He should’ve just been good. Ash buried his head into Dino’s shirt almost as if to hide - from who? Ash doesn’t know. Stringing out a line of apologies that seemed to ‘calm’ the situation.
It pleased Dino to see Ash so, so, broken and Ash knew it. He liked it when Ash sought comfort in him because it only wrapped Ash around Dino’s finger even more. A dependency he has broken into the boy who when they had initially met was the most rebellious brat he’s seen in a while. Who else was Ash supposed to go to? He was isolated and abused, only allowed to associate himself with people that often hurt him more than Dino. At least that’s what Ash wants to believe, but in all truths Dino had done this to him. Had trained him like a dog. Beat him when he messed up. And scared his soul away.

“Ash?” 

Ash lets out a small gasp as he pulls away his hand, “I’m fine.” He finally came back to reality, not knowing how low he had been ‘out’ for. 

“I don’t think so,” Max rebuttals.

“I…” Ash tries to find his words but they’re lost in this prickly feeling that spreads from his hands throughout his body. “Sorry,” he whispers just loud enough for Max to vaguely understand what he’s feeling.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Ash.” He reassured the boy whose legs are curled into himself in a way that makes him look so small . As to not take up any space. He rests his hand on Ash’s shoulder who begs to lean into this touch but won’t and probably never will. “I understand.”

How could Max understand? How could anyone understand? It would be fair. No one else deserves this treatment - how Dino treated him, how his coach and lastly his father had treated him. Ash is a horrible person, he deserves it. He’s ruined so, so, so many people's lives and he’s going to mess up Max’s as well. He’s a reputation ruiner, a plague to those around him, it’s like an addiction for him. There’s something inherently wrong with him.

“When you get the flashbacks, or something is wrong, count to ten as you name objects around you.” Ash hooks onto his sentence, angry that Max just said something is wrong with him. 

“I don’t get flashbacks,” Ash denies as he stands up from his weak knees, “because there’s nothing wrong with me.” Ash is lying - there is something wrong with him, but it’s not for the reason Max probably thinks it is.

Max picks up on his emphasis but chooses not to comment on it, “well, even if you don’t, or if you do, it’s still good to know when you’re overwhelmed.” Max stands up once again and finally finishes his statement, “I’m not going to ask, Ash. But, I’ll listen. That counts for whenever you need it.”

Ash crosses his arms, acting in complete contrast to his small position he had taken. Like a flip of a switch and he’s back to his normal self.

“Should we go home?” Max asks, implying that it would probably be a good idea to just leave so he can actually calm down.

“No, I- I am fine,” Ash refuses to let himself ruin the night even more than he already has.

Ash tried to not be absorbed within himself, he really did but he didn’t understand. Why, why didn’t Max hit him? He’d been bad. He broke a lot of rules. Max should at least be angry. Maybe it’s because they’re in public. Just wait, he’ll show his true colours. No, Ash didn’t want to think like that. But he can’t help it. He should’ve gotten a lot of things, but… he didn’t. His brain didn’t know how to process it. It’s almost like a malfunction - a glitch that makes it impossible to think about anything else other than what Max w-should’ve done. A complete contradiction to Ash’s entire life. In fact, Ash was scareder than ever. The thought that if Ash messes up again and Max or Jessica snap terrifies him. He thinks of the times when Dino would pent up his anger and how bad it would get. How he’d stare in the mirrors for hours cleaning and poking at fresh cuts and bruises. Pulling at the skin around his neck to relieve the swelling so he could breathe just a little more properly. 

No. Stop that Ash. Be present, you’ll ruin everything. Smile, laugh, eat, eat, drink, shift eye contact. Shoulders back, wait - will that be too much of a tease? No. Stop. Ash shut up. What if it’s not enough . No stop. Ash isn’t working right now but he’s acting like it, and he cannot control it. 

Chapter Text

Jessica rests her aching back against the bed’s wooden frame. She opens her side drawer and pulls out the first book of the small pile. Flipping through the pages until she reaches the one with a small corner folded inward. The bed shifts as Max enters, throwing the heavy duvet over himself. 

A sigh exists Max involuntary. “What’s wrong?” She takes off her reading glasses. 

“I don’t know - I just… want Ash to trust me.” He admits leaning his head back into the pillow.

“You don’t think he trusts you?”

Max shakes his head, “remember the other day? When he freaked out during dinner at the restaurant?”

Jessica nods in acknowledgment.

“And I went after him? He looked so scared. And I didn’t know how to help him.” 

“Scared?” Jessica’s eyebrows furrowed. 

Max begins to clean his fingernails with an old gift card that has been in the jar beside his bed for years, “yeah, scared. I’ve never seen a kid so scared before.” Max makes full eye contact with Jessica, “but he didn’t make a sound.” 

Jessica places her book face down into her lap. Pulling her all her attention towards her husband, “you think he’s been through something?” 

“I mean probably - who knows why he was on the streets. Who knows how long he’s been on the streets for.”

“He’ll come around. Eventually. He probably has trust issues, you can’t force him. He’s got to learn by himself.” She rubs Max’s shoulder, “he’ll be alright.”

“Maybe…” Max cuts himself off but Jessica urges him to continue, “maybe we should try to convince him to go to therapy?” 

“Even if he’s fine, therapy is good. I think it would do him some good.” Jessica grabs Max’s hand, rubbing it softly with her thumb.

Max brings it up to Ash when he comes into the kitchen in the morning. Ash doesn’t answer, just standing there for a second like a buffering video. Before Ash can answer Max tells him to give it some thought. Max didn’t want to pressure Ash into therapy, but silently he heavily encouraged it. Max hands him the brown paper bag with his lunch in it and Ash accepts. Taking it and shoving it into the small bookbag he’d acquired through the last of the money he had from working before he moved in. The bag was empty besides the lunch, a single pencil and 1/3rd of a broken eraser he’d picked up off the floor at school. 

“Oh. Max?” Ash calls with a somber look in his eyes almost empty.

Max looks up from his coffee, almost expecting Ash to tell him something that had been bothering him. “Yeah kiddo?”

“I’m going to be late coming home tonight.” He glances away to the pictures magnetized to the fridge.

“Are you hanging out with a friend?” 

“Yeah.” Ash lied. Two days earlier Mr. Rinster had told him to stay behind after class, causing him to miss the bus. When he’d gotten back to Max’s house he had been lectured about not telling anyone where he’d been. For not texting anyone with notice he’d be late. Despite him not having a working phone number. He was going to explain that but he thought better to not argue back. Yesterday, he tried to do it again. Blocking Ash’s past until he’d promised he’d stay back today. 

“Okay, well then have fun!”

Ash ends up leaving the house early because he didn’t want to take the bus, but he also didn’t want to bother Max or Jessica by asking them for a ride. He hated the bus, he felt like everyone was looking at him. Watching him. Waiting for him to do something stupid just to laugh at him.

The school wasn’t far. In fact, Ash found walking to school much faster than taking the bus. Which made sense because they didn’t have to make 30+ stops. When Ash arrives at school, Shorter is already halfway through a drag. He locks eyes with him as Shorter waves him over. Ash quickens his pace towards the no smoking sigh which Shorter disobeyed. Shorter hands it over to the blond. Him taking a short puff ending in relaxation - quickly gone by the cough ripping through his lungs. Shorter pats him back encouraging him to breathe.

“Woah, don’t die on me,” Shorter laughed.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” he said through burning air. Eventually catching his breath.

Shorter smirked, “you never smoked before? Haven’t you?” 

Ash shook his head, “I have. It’s just been a while.”

“Awh man, you weren’t tryna quit were you? I’d feel so bad for losing your streak.” Shorter admits rubbing his forehead anxiously.

“No, I wasn’t. I don’t have enough money to keep up the habit anymore.”

“You had a job? I work at the convenience store on 3rd - when I’m not helping my sister with the restaurant.” He smiles, side watching the group of ninety graders enter the building. 

“Yeah.” 

“Where did you work?”

Ash realized at this moment he may have dug himself into a hole. Should he say model? No, then Shorter might try and look him up. He might as well throw out something random, try not to allude to anything, “I helped a company take pictures… of… rentals.” Goddamnnit. What is that even supposed to mean? Rentals? He began to internally beat himself over his slight slip up.

“Oh, cool, like housing industry or storage?” Shorter takes another drag. The burnt ash falling to the ground and picking up in the wind.

“Uh…” he thought for a minute trying to think of the less suspicious option, “storage.” He hoped that the boring answer would reduce the amount of questions Shorter would ask - it didn’t. Ash bullshitted through question after question until the bell rang, meaning that he’d now have to rush to class.

He walks into the quiet classroom, quickly being scolded by the teacher for being late. The students snicker and giggle about the latest gossip going around the school. Unrelated to Ash. Mrs. Krabapple tells him to take his seat which he does quietly. Pulling the hood of his red hoodie over his head. He rests his head against the cold desk. 

“Today we’ll be getting into groups for an assignment.” The class begins to murmur as they divi themselves into groups of four. Mrs. Krabapple shushes the class before continuing, “you will not be choosing your own group.”

The group of rowdy boys in the back right corner outright protest to the statement, proving the teachers point of why they shouldn’t be able to pick their own groups. On her smart board she pulls up a random group maker and swiftly types in all twenty-nine student’s names into the computer. It takes a moment to generate. When its finished the groups are presented to everyone. The people who wanted to be together high five when they saw their names together. Ash doesn’t even look up towards the board. It’s not like he’s going to graduate anyway. He’ll be back in the hands of Dino or on the streets in no time here. Ash lifts his head to his name being yelled from across the room. He jumps up from his seat, knocking over a metal water bottle to the floor. He picks it up and sets it back onto the desk it originated from. The class continues its regular rumble as he does so. He mutters an apology into the air - not particularly apologizing to anyone in specific. The others in his group wait for him to come over. He sits near on the bookshelf beside the group, on multiple occasions Eiji tries to incorporate Ash but he doesn’t even acknowledge it. He just looks out the large window behind him. 

Eiji has taken charge of the project, splitting it up into equal shares and splitting bigger sections into two and giving them out. Eiji had figured that Ash would be something of a dead weight. To Eiji, Ash didn’t seem like the academia type. Falling asleep in almost every class they had together. Eiji would admit that Ash often got on his nerves. The way he acted like he was better than him. Like he didn’t have to try. Ash never purposely made Eiji feel like he was better than Eiji. In fact it was the exact opposite. 

Ash didn’t want to ruin anyone. 

Infect them with his curse. 

Eiji and Ash both thought they were two sides of the same coin. Both thinking that they’re the worst side. Eiji has spent his whole life attempting to gain the attention of the people around him. Trying to make up for what his parents never gave him. Trying to make someone, anyone notice him. While Ash, tried to make himself disappear into the background like an extra in a movie. Eiji puts up a great front, almost undisguisable from real and unattainable happiness. 

Eiji split a large chunk of the project in two and gave the first chunk to himself and the second to Ash. To make sure that he’s doing his fair share. The period went by fast, Ash doing the bare minimum for the day in order to get Eiji off his back. If he did three things a day then he would get to sit back and take a nap everyday while still meeting the deadline. He did this with most of his classes. They said that all he needed was a 50 to pass the course. At first he wasn’t exactly sure what it meant but he quickly figured it meant percent on tests and other assignments. He figured out that he didn’t have to do all the work in order to pass, just enough though. In math, where the amount of marks per question is shown he would do just enough to get a 50-60. Leaving the rest of the text blank or with stupid doodles. He knew the answers, but he thought it was a waste of time. Though when he needs a distraction, school is the perfect thing. Bury himself in the library books. Only going in during the morning while no one was there. 

Shorter and Ash eat lunch together like usual. For a moment it’s like nothing happened to him. 

“Dude!” Shorter whisper shouts, “behind you. She’s pretty and she’s looking right at you.” He points to a girl across the lunch room. Ash turns back to see who it was. He shrugs. Uninterested. “You should ask her out.”

Ash shakes his head as he speaks, “no, she’s not really my type.” 

“What’s your type then?” Shorter looks around the room at all the girls.

“Not sure.”

Shorter points to a girl sitting on the stage with her friends, a short girl with blond hair down to her shoulders, “that’s my type. Short and cute.” 

“Yeah, she’s cute. But again not my type. Probably something more of…” he scans the room for someone who looks attractive to him, “her.” He points to the girl, curling over in laughter from something her friend had said. She’s got short black hair, on the thinner side, with long acrylics. “But I wouldn’t date her. I’m not really looking for a relationship at the moment.”

“I see. Well, I am.” He gets up from the table and walks towards the girl on the stage. Shoving his hands deep into his pocket as Ash watches him ask for the girl's Snapchat. Shorter looks back at Ash giving him a successful thumb. Ash smiles. The girl takes Shorter’s phone from him. 

When Shorter returns he looks defeated. Looking down at his phone. The girl he asked out laughing her ass off while the others around her giggled at Shorter. 

“What happened?” Ash asked, trying to push down his own laughter.

Shorter slides his phone on the table towards Ash. He looks at the image reading, ‘nice try freak’ Ash begins to giggle uncontrollably and soon after Shorter joins in. “ Nice try freak, ” Ash mocked, “even the old man could come up with something more creative.” He didn’t even realize his slip up. But neither did Shorter so everything was alright.

The girls were confused by their laughter. 

“Damn, I really gotta work on my game, don’t I?”

“Definitely. Maybe try wishing on a shooting star for some better looks.” Ash replies with a straight face which eventually shifts and twists into a hidden smile then once again full out laughter between the both of them. Both straight giggledicking. Tears of laughter grow in Ash’s eyes. He’s never laughed so hard. But their fun was cut short by the warning bell. 

Chapter Text

The enviable rolled around. Last period. Gym. Ash arrived late, like always. Trying to push back the amount of time he has to spend with Mr. Rinster. This period is always his most dreaded. He changes into the school's gym uniform in a stall.  Taking extra time longer than it should. He walks out to everyone still doing the daily laps around the gymnasium. He catches up to Shorter. Who runs at a steady speed, not trying to show off like some of the other guys in the class. 

They play badminton, which is boring and uninteresting for Ash. Though Shorter seems to be having the time of his life whacking around the neon pink birdie. Ash couldn’t stop himself from glancing over to the teacher every couple minutes. His eyelids stuck in a strong glare. He stops to take a drink of water, but he wish he didn’t because at that moment Mr. Rinster waved him over. Fuck. He jogs over. Still giving the teacher the same stern glare. 

“Stop that.” The teacher spoke with annoyance building up.

“Stop what?” Ash sparked, shifting his head to the side. His mouth in a vague frown. A stone cold expression. 

“Trying to shove your eyes up my ass,” Mr. Rinster rebuked quietly enough for only Ash to hear his comment.

Ash speaks louder than the teacher, “you’d like that wouldn’t you,” Ash moved the straggled hair out of his face. Getting closer to Mr. Rinster’s. He knows he’s going to regret this later. But his teacher can’t do anything. Not even send him to the office like he would if any other student talked to him the way Ash did. They both have secrets which keep each other from reacting. If anyone figured out that Ash had been seducing his teacher, Mr. Rinster would get fired. Sure, but Dino would be notified. He’ll come marching into the building and drag him out by force. The arrangement was mutually beneficial, just business. Sometimes Ash wished that he never… formed the arrangement but it’s his fault. His punishment for running. But, Ash had to admit that this was easy. Way easier, but the stakes are so much higher. One thing could go wrong and he’ll end up locked in the mansion's basement for weeks on end. Barely given enough food to maintain the amount of torture he’d be put through. 

Ash goes back to Shorter. He throws a snarky remark towards the blond boy about getting in trouble. Ash just laughs it off like nothing had happened. Go continues thrashing around with the net until he finally manages to hit the stupid little pink birdie. 

Class always finishes the exact same way. Everyone heads to the change rooms five minutes before the bell rings, ten if Mr. Rinster is feeling gracious that day. Ash was about to enter the change room when the teacher told him to wait back a minute. Ash rolled his eyes and walked towards the man. 

“What now?”

“Don’t get changed. I’ll be ten minutes after the bell.” 

Ash shakes his head in annoyance, “fine.” 

Ash waits in the stall until everyone leaves the room, after that he sits on the benches that line the walls. His leg bouncing anxiously, the sound of his running shoe echoing around the empty room. 

Just as Mr. Rinster said. Ten minutes. Ten minutes was all it took for him to be standing before Ash. Ash watches the man before him. Dissecting his movements. His nice watch removed, just like every other time they’ve done something like this. A precaution Mr. Rinster takes so that Ash doesn’t steal from him. Like Ash would ever want the man’s shit. 

The man walks towards Ash, recoiling his arm, slamming an open hand slap across Ash’s face. He looks up at the man with confusion. He held his now red cheek.

“Hey! What the hell!” Ash stood up.

“Sit.” Ash panics, doing exactly what he’s trained to do. Obey. His head faces low towards the ground.

“Not so high and mighty now.” 

Ash stares at his hands. Watching them pick at the small pieces of skin around his nails. 

Mr. Rinster leaves first. Leaving Ash alone to get his stuff together. He looks around the unfamiliar-familiar room. Desperately pulling his hair out of his face. Everything feels off . Like he’s been eaten by a black hole. He looks into the mirror at the dark red mark growing on his cheek bone. Hoping it doesn’t go black. In his expert opinion, it most likely won’t. Just be a red mark for a couple days at most. He rubs at the little gifts Mr. Rinster left on his collar bone. He feels numb. Like a scab ready to fall off. He swipes his bag and shoves the used gym wear into his bag. He pulls his jeans up and tightens his belt as tight as it will against his waist. He swings his backpack over his shoulder. The change room doors slamming shut behind him. 

The walk was horrible. His body ached at the slightest of wind. He just wanted to sleep. He felt disgusting, less than an ant. He needed a shower, to wash the sense of guilt he feels away. He’s never felt so guilty about something like this. He can still feel the man grasping at his hair. It sends shivers down his spine at the memory. 

Jessica and Micheal sit on the couch and watch some random kids show together when Ash opens the door. Micheal jumps up off the couch and leaps onto Ash. Locking his arms around him. 

“Stop! Stop! Get off!” Ash squirms out of Micheals death grip. Jessica jumps out of her seat. 

“Micheal!” She snatches him away. Lifting him off the ground and placing him behind her.

Ash pins himself against the front door to force space between the two. 

“Hey, what happened to your cheek?” She reaches out for his face, he slaps her hand away so she couldn’t make contact.

“Don’t touch me.” Ash murmured before sliding away, running up stairs. 

Ash hides in the bathroom for a while. Eventually turning on the shower. He scrubs and shrubs and scrubs until he feels clean enough. Fuck. Micheal had touched him. Is Micheal now contaminated too? Should he suggest Micheal have a shower as well? No, that would be weird. But you’ve ruined him. You’re going to ruin him. Shut up. 

He emerges from the bathroom in only a towel because he never thought to bring an extra set of clothes and runs to his room. No one saw him. Good. He props the chair against the door so no one enters without a struggle. He puts on a large and heavy sweater and track pants. Crawling into bed and closing his eyes. 

A while passes and he’s awoken to soft knocking on his door. Jessica’s voice telling him that dinner was ready. He rolls out of bed and looks at the red blotch on his cheek bone and decides it doesn’t look so bad. He’ll just avoid the question if it comes up.

He walks down stairs and joins the family at the table. The steam still coming off the warm plate of spaghetti. He sits down in his habitually designated spot. Micheal goes on about how the recess monitor stole his Pokémon cards.

“Micheal, you know Pokémon cards are banned from your school. Why did you bring them in the first place?” Jessica reprimanded, waving her empty fork in the air. 

“But it’s not fair.” Micheal whined, “Sally and Teo bring them all the time and the teachers do nothing,” he pouts. 

“I’ll call the office and tell them to give them back. But if you do it again I won’t.”

“She’s just picking on the little guy,” Micheal crosses his arms, “stick it to the man.”

Max chuckles, “yeah buddy, stick it to the man .” Reaching over the table and giving his son a fist bump.

“Max. Stop encouraging him.”

“What?” Max’s eyes widen as if playing betrayed, “I’m not encouraging anything. He’s gunna stick it to the man.”

“Yeah mom .” He shovels spaghetti into his mouth. Getting it everywhere including the table.

Ash wants to join in on their banter but doesn’t want to ruin it. 

Jessica calls Ash as if she can read his mind, “Ash, how was school today.”

“It was fine, Shorter got rejected by a girl.” Ash smiled as he twirled the long noodles around his fork.

“Damn, how did he react?” Max asked putting his fork down mistaking this for a serious conversation.

“We laughed at her.”

“You laughed at her?” Jessica chimed in.

“Yeah, we laughed at her. In her exact words, ‘nice try freak”. I mean, she should’ve come up with a better insult.”

“I bet Micheal could come up with a more creative insult,” Max said happily.

Ash helps clean up after dinner, collecting all the dishes off the table while Max scrubs the red stained pot. It goes on in silence until Max speaks up, “what happened?”

“Huh?”

“Your face, it’s all red.”

Ash reached up to his face, “I fell.”

“You fell?”

“Yeah, down the stairs. Whacked my face right off the railing,” Ash chuckled, “why are Pokémon cards banned from Micheal’s school,” Ash deflected.

Max shrugs, “not sure. I think it’s a stupid rule, but there’s nothing really harmful about them.” 

“Max?” Ash rubbed the back of his neck, switching his posture anxiously over and over again.

“Yeah, kiddo,” he wraps the drying towel around the stove handle.

“Monday, I’m going to be late again.” Ash finished up the dishes and went to leave to go back upstairs. 

“Hold on.” Ash waits at the entrance to the kitchen for Max to continue, “who are you hanging out with.”

It takes a moment for Ash to come up with something, “I have a project for my first period.” 

“With who?”

Ash hesitates to say a name, not wanting to drag anyone into his lie, “Eiji.” He says the first name that comes to mind, also because he doesn’t know anyone else in the class. 

“Okay.” Max smiled, but the smile felt off. Like he knew, a sad smile. But Max couldn’t know. Could he? Ash has never been the best actor. He’s never really had to, he was isolated and abused his entire life. Everyone knew what he was and treated him as such. But Max didn’t know, surely he didn’t. 

Max knew something was off from the moment Ash walked in the door. From his outburst which Max heard from the kitchen to how chatty he was during dinner. Something was wrong with Ash and he just wanted Ash to open up with him. Be there for him. He knew that’s the opposite of what Ash would want. He could just tell, Ash wanted to keep up sky high walls to protect his heart from whatever happened to him from happening again. If Max knew what was wrong maybe he could be able to help. Maybe… Max could take Ash on one of his business trips. So they could bond. Max thought this was a great idea and when she brought it up to Jessica she agreed. 

Max knocked on Ash’s bedroom door, opening it afterwards, “hey, I was thinking me and you should go on a road trip. How does that sound?”

Ash rolled over in his bed, “sure. Why not?” He said uninterestedly, at least he’d get away from Mr. Rinster, Dino and everyone else who’s hurt him. The farther he goes from the godforsaken city the better. 

“It’s in a month, so make sure to tell your teachers ahead of time so they know you’ll be missing.”

“Yes sir.” He said still half asleep, not catching on to the formality he just created. 

Max thought it was weird but didn’t care. Ash could call him anything, anything other than curses and mean names he didn’t care.

Chapter Text

“Why do you have a phone but never use it?” Shorter asks, picking it up off Ash’s bedside table, clicking the on button multiple times for it to not turn on. He flips the uncased phone over, inspecting the cracks of the black aluminum on the back. Mostly originating from a single corner and spreading through the whole phone. Chucks have fallen out leaving gaping spaces where glass should be. Those places only being held together by tape over the entire front.

“I don’t have a charger,” Ash says bluntly. He rests his hands on the armchairs. Pulling his one leg up onto the seat with him.

Shorter looks at the cable type, “damn, she’s old.” He blows into the 30 pin apple charger hole. “And she’s so small,” Shorter’s is double the size making him inspect it even more. Ash stays quiet as Shorter basically bash’s his entire phone until he gives Ash some real advice, “you could probably get a used charger at an office shop that does a recycling program.”

“Really?!”

“Maybe, but it would probably be easier if I gave you my old phone. It’s a bit old - an iPhone 8 - but I think anything would be better than this fostle.”

“I wouldn’t be able to accept that.” 

“Why?” Shorter places the old phone back where it came from, “I’m not getting any use out of it.” 

“You sure? I wouldn’t be able to pay you back.”

“I mean you don’t have to pay me back but if you really wanted to you could ask your parents.”

“Oh, yeah, they’re not my parents.”

“They’re not?” 

Ash shakes his head, “I’m just staying with them until I can find a way out of the city.”

“Where would you go?” Shorter sits cross legged on Ash’s bed.

Ash shrugs, “not sure, probably the countryside. But that’ll never happen.” Ash shrinks into himself. Chewing on the tip of his nail.

“I’m sure it will, I was planning on going to a college upstate. You could come! It would be awesome!  We could party all night and get a job at the same place!”

“That sounds cool! We’ll get an apartment together and have locks on the doors!”

Shorter’s face twists in confusion at the odd statement, “locks? You’re excited about locks?” 

Ash gives out a nervous chuckle, “no, no, no, just thought it was funny.” Standing up from the comfort of his seat. 

Shorter gives Ash a side eye which causes Ash to double down on his excuse. Causing Shorter to be even more weirded out inadvertently.

Ash sighs, “fine.” He says sitting back down in his seat.

Shorter figured Ash was going to continue so he stayed quiet.

Ash’s lips flopped around like a fish while trying to find the right words, ones that don’t reveal too much but that don’t warrant anymore of an investigation into him. “I wasn’t,” Ash paused, rethinking everything that led up to this point but decided to continue, “allo-didn’t have,” Ash backtracked, “a lot of things growing up. I tend to get excited about the little things.”

Shorter sat in silence for a moment, “oh,” Shorter’s silence worried Ash. Did he say too much? Not enough? Eventually Shorter continued, “that’s okay. My parents died when I was young. So I understand not having a lot.” 

“You do?” 

Shorter gave a silent nod, his purple Mohawk flopping from the light momentum. “It was hard growing up, but I had my sister. I would do anything for my sister.” Shorter’s sentence reminded him of his brother. How, when Griffen found out about what he had done, he was so angry. He was so angry, but not at Ash like he should’ve been. He was mad at their father for doing nothing. He watched from the living room doorway as they fought for hours after sunset. “Ash?” 

Ash shook his head, forcing himself out of his depressing memory, “huh, yeah?”

“You clocked out. You do that quite often.” 

“I do?”

“Mhm. But it’s chill, you usually come back to earth after a couple minutes. But it was a couple minutes and you weren’t back.” 

Ash looked at the digital clock beside his bed, 3:13. Last he remembered it was 2:58.

“Sorry. You must’ve been bored. Sorry.”

“Dude, I said we’re chill.” Shorter chuckled, leaning back with his hands behind him. “Would you really want to move upstate with me though? Because I’m down if you’re down.”

“Yeah, totally,” Ash said with a real smile. For the first time in his life, excited about something about the future. Trying not to let the 99% percent possible of it not happening to overwhelm him. And he does it successfully.

Shorter’s sister calls him asking him to head home because they got a sudden rush and are understaffed due to one of their regular employees being in labour. He leaves shortly after collecting his things. Making sure to wave goodbye to Jessica and Max.

“He seems nice,” Jessica admits to Ash as he walks down the stairs. 

“He is.” Ash said in a flat voice, not stopping to talk to Jessica. He stops at the entrance to the kitchen. Squinting his eyes at the doorway briefly looking at the two snuggled up on the sofa. Something bubbles in his stomach as he’s looking in the kitchen. His face shifts constantly. He wants to ask for something to eat because he’s really hungry but too scared of rejection to do it. He changes his mind and joins Max and Jessica. Sitting himself on the floor next to the sofa, due to the lack of open space. Max had placed a bunch of paperwork on the one chair and Ash didn’t want to get in trouble for touching his stuff without permission.

“Why are you on the floor,” Jessica leans up to get a clear view of Ash.

“I like it. It’s comfortable.”

Jessica lays back down, “well if you get uncomfortable then you can put Max’s stuff on the kitchen table. Then Max might actually put them in his office.” She says backhandedly. 

“I’ll do it later,” he mumbles and waves, not even making any effort to open his eyes.

“You sure bet, I’m not doing it.”

Shit . Ash thought to himself, did he just trigger something.

“I said later, Jess.”

“You’ve been saying ‘ later’ for three days. I’m getting sick and tired of it being there.” Jessica argued. 

Ash focuses on the TV. Trying to ignore the bickering that he inadvertently caused. It would be rude to leave. Right? What does he do? It feels like he’s stuck. His hands, prickly numb. It spreads from his fingers to his elbows and up his arms. What if it gets violent? Ash’s mind repeated over and over again. Well if I’m watching them, then I can help if it gets too much. No, fuck, than I’ll get in trouble. No fuck that. I don’t care. Max is bigger than Jessica. Max is bigger than me. What could I do? Ash still pretends to be watching TV  completely still, not revealing his fear to the exterior. I’ve been beaten worse than whatever Max could give me. It’d be better off me anyway. I started it. It’s my fault. 

This goes on for a couple minutes before Max finally gets off the couch, as Max walks by he can’t hold back a flinch. Expecting him to take out something towards Ash. Max must be angry at him. Ash ruined his nap. Max snatches his papers off the loveseat and storms off through the kitchen into his office with Jessica to follow. 

Ash stands up from the floor, quietly making his way into the kitchen. Watching through the frosted glass of the office. Their masked and darker body’s bounce around the room. Every so often one yells loud enough to be heard from outside but still relatively quiet for a fight. The fight confused Ash. From what he could tell, no one was getting the other’s face. There’s no pushing or shoving. No glass being thrown. Nothing. Just arguing. 

Ash sneaks into the pantry when the yelling begins to die down in small whispers. He opens the door quietly, making sure not to make any noise. He takes a handful of Goldfish packets and shoves a couple Rice Krispies. When closing the door he makes extra sure for the latch not to click loudly. Holding the top of the door and slowly guiding it shut. He holds the handle in the open position until it’s firmly in place then slowly releases the handle. He sees Max and Jessica nearing the office door meaning they’re about to come out. He takes his snacks and sprints up the stairs into the bedroom.

He dumps the snacks onto the bed. Climbing in and opening the packets one by one. He hears whispers outside of his door. Thinking that Max and Jessica are just going to bed he continues as he is until Max and Jessica knock on his door. Ash quickly stands up in a panic, looking for a place to hide the items he stole. He spots the crack between the wall and his bed. He scoops up all the items including the wrappers. Jessica begins to open the door, causing Ash to quicken the pace. He sits back down on the bed, his heart beating a hundred miles a minute. 

“Yes?” He tries to smooth the situation over.

Max and Jessica look at each other than him, they walk into the room and shut the door.

Ash subconsciously backs up in his seat. Is it now? Are they going to use me? His fists clench ready to fight if needed. 

“We,” they say in unison before Jessica carry’s on the sentence, “wanted to apologize.” Ash stopped everything, holding in an unconscious breath. Why would they apologize to Ash? Ash didn’t do anything to deserve an apology. If anyone deserves an apology it’s Ash to them. Not the other way around. “We shouldn’t have argued in front of you. And I shouldn’t have brought you into it either.” The words coming out of Jessica’s mouth felt unreal. They felt dangerous to Ash. He’s never been apologized to before. It was unfamiliar and scary. 

“We’re sorry, Ash.” Max spoke up again. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Ash tried to cover his tracks, “it’s my fault,” his voice wavered. Jessica’s eyes widen with an emotion no one has ever given him before. “I should’ve just gone back to my room.”

“No, no, no,” she meets Ash on the bed, quickly tossing a wrapper in the bin before sitting down. His heart sank but no one mentioned it. “It wasn’t your fault, Ash. Not at all.”

“But, if I hadn’t sat down…” Ash interrupted.

Max shook his head, “if I had just put away my stuff then we wouldn’t have fought. Plain cut, no if ands or buts about it.”

Ash tries to rebuttal Max’s statement only to receive the last part of Max’s sentence again.

His heart began to hurt, a painful hurt. Another thing he hadn’t felt before this moment. He could feel the water welling up in his eyes but push it down by looking up as far as he could. He looked away so Max or Jessica wouldn’t ridicule him. 

After a long moment of silence Jessica leans over causing him to flinch and gives Ash a side hug. Ash sits there completely dumbfounded. Blinking a couple times before Jessica stands up and takes her leave along with Max. Ash rubs on the spot where Jessica held, the feeling of her hand still playing out in his imagination. He curls into himself as he lays on top of the bed. The choked sobs finally weaseling out from Ash’s body as he holds himself tightly. Still rubbing on the place Jessica touched.

Chapter Text

The project progresses swiftly enough for Eiji, he just wishes Ash would put in more effort. At the rate Ash completes his portion it’s still going to be complete by the deadline but Eiji can’t help but encourage Ash to do more. Occasionally trying to wake Ash up from his morning nap with no avail. 

Ash types away at the school given computer he was issued. “Ash,” Eiji scoots his desk over towards the blond.

Ash looks over with an annoyed glare, “yes Eiji? If you’re going to tell me to speed up again, I’m not going to.” He said bluntly, not giving Eiji the sugar coating that he used to.

“No, after school did you want to work together?”

Ash looks over at the newish phone Shorter gave him this morning. Then back over to the black haired boy. “I have a meeting after school. But after, works for me.”

“Oh, what time does it finish?”

“Not sure, not long. We could also work together during lunch,” Eiji smiles.

Ash thinks about it for a moment, he gives a short nod. “Meet me in the library.” Ash closes his laptop. Closing his eyes and falling asleep immediately, forcing a sigh from Eiji.

Eiji walks into the quiet library, scanning the room for Ash’s familiar face. He walks around the large enough room. No Ash. He picks a spot where he can see the main door so when Ash comes in he can wave him over. He works on his portion silently until about five minutes pass. He looks at the time tick by on a large clock on the wall above the door. He figures Ash is a no show so he picks up his items and places them neatly into his backpack once again. He hangs his bag back on his shoulders and walks out. 

He walks past the regular groups that linger in the halls during lunch. Passing the hall monitor talking to a teacher. He eventually spots Shorter and calls out to him. He jogs up to the taller boy, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Shorter? Have you seen Ash?” 

Shorter denies seeing Ash since the last period before lunch which they had together, “he told me that he needed to go talk to someone. Seems important.”

“Oh, well we were going to work on our project. Do you know who he’s talking to?”

“No clue, he’s not much of an open guy, y’know?” 

“K, thanks Shorter. See you around.” He walks off with a wave in Shorter’s direction who goes back to talking to Bones. 

Eiji finds himself on the lower end of the building, walking through the vacant halls. He eventually recognized a harsh whisper coming from the turn off into the gymnasium’s office. He peaks through the window into the room, trophies line the back wall. Ash paces around the room angrily. From this angle Eiji can’t see who he’s talking to. Ash folds his arms, leaning his body against the shelf across from the door, “I told you! I’m busy!” Ash yells at the other in the room, purposely knocking some novelties to the ground. Eiji can’t hear the reply but it seemed to anger Ash even more, “I can’t surround my entire life around you! I’m my own person!” Ash’s face twists, he bites down onto his bottom lip trying to hold himself back, “I am!” “I am!” He repeats with desperation building in his voice. 

“Enough!” The other voice spits, “Ash, just shut the fuck up!” 

“You’re telling me to shut the fuck up?!” Ash exclaimed, “huh?! It’s not like I’m asking you for you fucking arm! All I’m asking is that you keep it short.” Ash glances towards Eiji and stops all action.

“You’ll always just be a whor…” the sound muffled. Along with inaudible whispers.

Seconds later Ash storms out of the room, grabbing Eiji by his wrist. “We can’t hang out tonight.” Ash leads Eiji away from the office.

“What was that?” Eiji asks, trying to wiggle out of Ash’s tight grip. 

“Nothing to worry about.” 

“Was that a teach…” 

Ash spins around still holding on to Eiji’s wrist, “can you just shut the fuck up. For once. Just shut up. I can’t stand you! God!” His green eyes staring right into Eiji’s brown. A deep angry scowl lines his face. Eiji just stands there. “This isn’t your business. Stay out of it.”

“But… the teachers aren’t supposed to swear at students.”

“He was just angry that I wanted to speed up my tutoring. Okay?” 

“That doesn’t mean he can swear at you.” 

“Things are different for me.” 

“Why? You’re a student just like me.” 

“I’m not smart like you,” Ash lets go of the boy's wrist, letting his hand fall to his own side. 

“I don’t think that’s true.” 

“How would you know?” 

“I’ve seen you work, you’re fast.”

Ash rolls his eyes, “you don’t know me.”

“Can I?”

“You wouldn’t want to,” Ash looks up and to the right, avoiding Eiji. 

“Why not? You’re just a little stubborn,” Eiji smirks.

“Am not,” Ash says in his normal, serious tone. He looks back towards Eiji who’s looking at him like he just contradicted his own statement. The bell rings signifying that lunch has ended and it’s time to make their way to their next class.

“You are so. We can reschedule our study if that works for you.”

Ash looked surprised at Eiji’s offer, “yeah, that works for me.” 

“Tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow.”

“See ya later then.” Eiji runs off with a wave, leaving Ash down the hall all by himself. 

Mr. Rinster comes out of the office, catching Ash’s attention as he steps up behind him, “get to class Ash.” He nudged the boy forward. “Wait.” Ash doesn’t turn around, just stands still, Mr. Rinster leans into Ash’s ear, “remember, if anyone found out. You’ll forever be known as the freak sleeping with his teacher. Be careful Ash.”

Chapter Text

When Eiji asked Ash if they could hang out after school he jumped onto it immediately. Thinking that maybe if he made plans then he’d be able to escape his nightmare. He tries his hardest to convince Mr. Rinster to let him go, let him be a normal teenager. Even if it's just for a brief moment.
Ash paces around his office, glaring at the man who can’t even bother to face him while they’re talking with each other. “Is after school going to be long?”
“Why?” He scribbles corrections on some student’s work in a bright red pen.
“I have things I gotta do after.”
“Is it important?”
“I mea…”
Mr. Rinster cuts him off, “then it can wait.”
“No, it can’t.” Ash snaps back, crossing his arms tightly together.
“If you made plans to hang around one of your delinquent friends, then it can wait.”
“He’s not delinquent. Furthest thing from it.”
“Oh, I see.”
“So you’ll keep it short?!” Ash’s face lightens up from his hardcore glare before it gets shut back down.
“I didn’t say that,” he flips the page to its backside, “are we done here?”
“But…” Ash says in a softer tone, trying to grasp at whatever form of sympathy the man might possess.
“If you keep talking I’ll make it extra long,” he puts his pen down with the annoyance in his voice now undertoning with anger.
“I told you, I’m busy!” Ash lashed out with his pent up anger, throwing the knickknacks and trophies to the floor. A basketball trophy snapping its base off. Ash glances down at the item but then looks back at the man. Looking for something to cling onto but finding nothing. Just a blank stare. Somehow this felt worse than when he would yell at him. Just silence.
“Then cancel. No show. I don’t care what you do Ash. Just you better be there.”
“I can’t surround my entire life around you!” Ash’s hands begin to grow numb from the tips of his fingers again. His body was buzzing, “I’m my own person!” Ash screamed. His own words hurt his throat.
“You’ll never be.”
“I am,” Ash’s voice squeaks.
“You’re not. You’ll always be something to discard and forget about.” Mr. Rinster picks his pen back up and shifts it in his hand to a comfortable position.
“I am!”
“Enough!” Mr. Rinster snapped, slamming his pen down onto the table. Ash flinched, his heart nearly lept out of chest. “Ash, just shut the fuck up!” When Mr. Rinster moved his hand away, the remnants of his pen left it chunks and crumbled is all that’s left.
Ash’s eyes opened even wider, his hands twisted into balls while still tingling so hard that it was almost painful, “you’re telling me to shut the fuck up?!” Ash took a step forward towards the man, gesturing to himself, “huh?! It’s not like I’m asking you for your fucking arm! All I’m asking is that you keep it short!” Ash notice’s Eiji’s movement through the window of the door, his heart drops to his stomach - unsure of how much the boy heard. If he’ll tell… what does that mean for Ash? Mr. Rinster begins speaking again. But Ash doesn’t care what he has to say. Only that Eiji doesn’t hear anything else. He covers Mr. Rinster’s mouth with his hands. Mr. Rinster is set off by this action but Ash continues in a stern whisper, “shh, don’t say anything else. Someone’s outside the door.”
“See you after school then.”

Ash left the locker room and walked down the barren halls. Ash’s presence caused the pinned papers to wave as he walked by. He stops by his locker and places his gym clothes onto the shelf at the top. He grabs his sweater and puts it on. He picks up his bag from the floor and swings it over shoulder. His sneakers squeaked on the dirty floor as he spun around and made his way to the exit.
The rain pattered onto the ground as Ash swung open the heavy door. Ash didn’t have an umbrella, he walked out into the downpour. The water made the shirt cling to his skin and made him feel even worse. No matter how he shifted his shoulders and how many times he pulled it away it didn’t help.
“Ash!” Ash turns around to Eiji’s voice. He looks over to the benches under the overhang to the black haired boy grabbing his bag and pushing open an umbrella. One of those clear ones where you can watch the rain bounce off it from the inside.
“Eiji?” The rain rolled down his face like the tears never could. “What are you still doing here? It’s late.”
“My ride is delayed.” Eiji offers up some space under his umbrella as courtesy.
Ash rejects despite the fact he’s becoming drenched, he didn’t want Eiji to be able to smell the remnants of the man’s cologne on his skin. Even though the rain is washing it off.
“Oh,” Ash pushes the wet strands of dangling hair out of his face to get a better picture of the boy in front of him.
An all black Sudan pulls up nearly beside them. “You’re walking right?”
Ash nods.
“We can drive you home. So you don’t have to walk home all by yourself in the rain.” Eiji grabs Ash’s hand.
Before Ash could even say no he was in the car’s backseat. Ash felt bad for getting Eiji’s guardian’s car all wet. Eiji gets in the car on the opposite side of Ash. Leaving the passenger side empty.
“Thanks, Ibe!” Eiji says still in the process of buckling himself into the car. Ash intentionally leaves his undone. In case he needs to make a swift escape. He tests the door handles double checking that the child lock isn’t on.
“So, where am I taking this one?” Ibe refers to Ash with his eyes as he turns back in his seat just enough to see both of them.
“Home, he was going to have to walk in the rain.”
“Sorry,” Ash apologizes, “I was kind of forced into the car. I’m fine with walking.” Ash raises his hands.
“No, it’s fine, I wouldn’t want anyone walking around in this weather. You’ll get sick.” He smiled ahead then looked back through the rearview mirror, “so,” he places his hands back on the steering wheel, “where am I taking you.”
“I forget the address, but I know how to get there.”
“That’s fine,” the car falls into an awkward silence, “so, Ash, you’re the other student who started on the same day as Eiji. Right?”
“Yeah. Oh, turn right here.”
“That’s cool,” Ibe continues, “must’ve been hard joining the school midway huh?”
“Not really,” Ash watches the rain fall down the window, “everything is pretty easy and they’re not going to make me do any work from before I started school.”
“Same with me.”
“You two are in the same first period… that’s… I can’t remember,” Ibe grabs the bridge of his nose.
“English,” both boys speak up at the same time. Their words intertwined together.
“How could I forget… English,” he repeats, trying to get himself to remember this time.
“Take a left at the convenience store up ahead.”

Ash steps out of the car into the pouring rain in front of Max’s house. Stepping in an ankle deep puddle, the water seeps into his shoe through the fabric they’re made of. Ash says nothing, he saw the puddle before getting out but he thought it would be a bother to ask Ibe to drive up a couple feet to avoid it. Ash shuts the door, making his way to the house.
“Hold on a moment,” Ibe rolls down the window, “I knew I recognized this house! This is Lobo's house, isn’t it?!” Ibe exclaimed.
“It is,” Ash stepped towards the open window, his hair becoming soaking wet once again.
“You aren’t one of Jessica’s kids are you? I knew she had a little one but she never mentioned an older one.”
Ash shook his head, “no, I’m not, just crashing here for a little while.”
“Oh, well, then tell the two I say hi!” Ibe rolled up the window and with a wave they were gone. Ash looks over to the streetlamp that just turned on in the corner of his eye.

“I’m back,” he says upon opening the door.
“Hey kiddo, you’re back pretty late. Everything alright?” Max pops his head out of the kitchen, probably just coming out of office for the evening.
“Yeah, I just got lost in time,” Ash hangs his sweater and backpack on his undesignated-designated hook.
“I’m just reheating my own dinner, I’ll heat yours up too,” he talks from the kitchen as Ash takes his soaked shoes and socks off.
“Okay. Be there in a minute,” Ash runs up the stairs to change out of his wet clothes and have a quick shower. He changes into his red plaid pajamas pants and comfortable hoodie too big for him. Before he leaves he finally notices his pillows in a slightly different position than where he left them this morning. He slowly walks closer to his secret hoard of snacks. He pulls back the pillows and shifts the bed just enough to see within the crevice. He lets out a sigh of relief as everything is how he left it.

Ash walks into the kitchen to Max pulling Ash’s plate out of the microwave, he places it on the table. Ash takes his seat at the wooden table, sliding his plate closer to him.
“So… what’s that?” He points to the brand new rack filled with snacks and other treats.
“Oh, that? We’re trying to create an open space, trying to create a healthy relationship with food for Micheal. Jessica read that having it out in the open makes it easier to get a snack when you're hungry.” Ash’s face begins to form a small confused frown. “Same goes for you Ash.” Max points to Ash with his fork.
Ash’s eyes burst open, he sank down in his seat. He knows. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken anything.”
“You know, you don’t have to ask for food in this house right? The kitchen doesn’t ‘close’, if you're hungry you don’t have to hide it.”
“I know,” he says with false confidence.
Max sets his papers down on the counter, “Ash,” Max pauses, holding his tongue. He hopes not to step over the line, “I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide anything from us.”
“I’m not hiding anything,” Ash rebuttals, snark building in his tone.
Max sits down, leaning against the counter, “I care about you Ash, and it’s obvious you’re trying to sneak food.”
Ash interrupts, “I’ll stop taking food from you.”
Max shakes his head in disappointment, “you’re not listening to me. Take whatever you need.”
Ash stops in his tracks, unsure of what he just heard was right, this is something he’s never experienced, trust. Ash stands off Max in his skeptic nature. “Alright, thanks Max.”
Max hesitates to speak up, but soon he finds the courage to ask the inevitable, “why were you on the streets?””
Ash knew this question would come up eventually, he really wish it never would. That he could skate around it forever, so that Max would never see him for who she really is. A monster, scum, something below human like he truly is. “I ran away from where I was living.” He says placing his now heated food down onto the counter across from Max.
Max nods, “I see,” he digests this information. “Was it bad?”
Ash is suddenly struck with the inability to breathe, held captive by the flashes of images of the past. Dino grabs his small child wrist, dangling him in the air, his words spit. Soaking his face. Small Ash struggles not to cry, knowing it would only make things worse. “You worthless piece of shit! Don’t ever pull that shit again!” Dino drops him to the ground. The whack to the ground caused a crack from somewhere in Ash’s body. He drags him down the stairs by the hair. All while Ash begs for him to stop. He throws Ash into a dark room, one so dark he could only hear the sound of Dino unbuckling his belt.

Ash shakes his head after they’ve passed, “I just did want to be there anymore.”
Max surveys Ash’s face, knowing that he’s holding something deeper back, “alright, Ash. You don’t have to keep talking if you don’t want to.” He says, deep down hoping that Ash keeps going.
Ash finds himself lost in his own head, Max places his hand on Ash’s shoulder, “it’s my job to protect you Ash, as someone older than you. Wherever you’re ready you can come to me alright?”

Chapter Text

Ash wakes up in a cold sweat. Swiftly up and trying to collect himself within seconds of opening his eyes. Remember what happened with Max, reliving it over and over. His mind feels like static, his fingers feel like pins. His knees ache and pain from past injuries. He rips off his suffocating shirt. Not wanting anything gripping to his sensitive skin. He bites his tongue to fight back the urge to scream as he wants to rithe around on the floor. Anything to let out this tension that he’s built up in his system for so long. He ties up his blond hair with an elastic. “I can’t.” He whispers to himself. “I can’t, it’s too hot in here.” He says in between pained prickles under his skin and loud heartbeats. Ash puts on his zip up sweater, leaving it open to let some air onto him. He creeps out of his room, stepping out onto the roof through his window. He climbs up higher, the wind blows through his hair, occasionally pulling a few strands out of his tiny ponytail.  “Maybe I should just go back to Dino. It wasn’t like this before. I didn’t feel so… so weird.” He talks to himself, trying to figure out what to do. The previous rain from before shifted into snow during the colder evening night. It wasn’t rare for it to rain late November but still uncalled for. “I don’t feel safe. Like Max said I should. Something is wrong with me, I should be happy. I have almost everything I ever wanted. Yet… yet everything is still wrong. There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I can tell anyone. I’ve dealt with worse. So much worse.” 

Ash remembers the conversation that Max and Jessica proposed therapy before, “maybe that might help?” Ash shook his head, “what am I talking about?” He asked himself but it was more of a statement, “I don’t need therapy. Others have it so much more worse than me. I’d only be taking away resources from people that actually need it. I don’t need help. I can get through this on my own. ” Ash beats himself up over even the thought of asking for help. He partly knows that he’s lying to himself but he can’t help but diminish his own situation. “Well maybe if I only do it once a month? Then…” Ash trails off, “god, you're so stupid.” Ash whispers, “You can’t even deal with your own shit before getting anyone else dragged through it.”

Ash eventually climbs back through his window with a shiver. He tries to fall back asleep but everytime he closes his eyes he sees flashes of his past. Each time jolting him back away. His own old screams ringing through his ears. He gives up on trying to sleep. Zipping up his sweater to go watch some TV on the couch. 

Max comes down the stairs in the morning. Seeing the TV on, trying to remember if he had forgotten to turn it off before he went to bed. He then notices Ash sitting on the couch. Max says morning but there’s no response from the boy. He goes to check up on Ash but to his surprise the boy is fast asleep sitting up. Max waves his hand in front of Ash’s face but no response. Max pulls the blanket off the back off the couch, wrapping it around the boy. In Max’s mind he looked so peaceful. Other than the occasional whimper that manages to escape an uncomfortable shift. Max changes the channel to the news, sitting on the other end of the couch with his feet placed neatly on the coffee table. He listens to the woman talk about everything wrong with the world. Reading the scrolling text at the bottom of the screen. He reads the latest bus cancellations, eventually reading off both Ash’s and Micheal’s school. 

“Crap,” Max mumbles quietly, thinking about his meeting across town with his publisher later. He’s going to have to arrange someone to babysit Micheal while he’s out. 

Jessica comes down the stairs dressed for the day already. Her hair tied neatly into a long high ponytail with some of her bangs sticking out still. “Morning sweetheart.” 

Max shushes Jessica while pointing at Ash. “Morning,” he whispers back.

“What’s he doing sleeping on the couch?” Jessica asks after planting a kiss right on her husband's left cheek from over the couch.

Max shrugs, “no clue. Probably has something to do with last night. Oh, by the way, it’s a snow day.”

“Who’s going to watch Micheal?” Jessica looks over to Ash, still sleeping peacefully, “maybe we should ask Ash?”

Max thinks about it, “I… don’t know. Taking care of a kid is a lot of work… maybe I should just reschedule my meeting.”

“The next open meeting time is Friday next week, you’ll be gone on your work trip with Ash by Tuesday.” 

“I guess you’re right.” Max took his feet off the coffee table and leaned forward. Fully contemplating whether or not Ash should/would be able to take care of a kid for an hour or two. It’s not that Max didn’t trust Ash. It’s that Ash often looks physically uncomfortable by Micheals presence. It’s loosened up lately, but Max isn’t sure that Ash would be able to handle it. The poor kids had been through so much, Max didn’t want to stress him out anymore. “I just don’t want to stress him out.”

“If we bring over a babysitter without even asking Ash if he can I think that would make him feel untrusted. I think we should at least ask.”

Max nods along, “I guess you’re right. Like always.” Max smiles at his wife.

“Should I ask, or you?” Jessica looks back at the sleeping boy.

Max waves her off, “let him sleep a bit longer. God knows he needs it. I’ll figure something out if he says no.”

“Okay, thanks love. I’m on my way then.” She lands a kiss right on Max’s lips.

Max turns off the TV and makes his way into the kitchen to start making breakfast. He thought it would be a nice thing to do because mostly everyone was home. Max hears the sound of dragged feet shuffling their way into the kitchen. He turns around expecting to see Micheal. Ash stands there rubbing his eyes after just waking up. “Morning, Kiddo.”

Ash mumbles something that Max couldn’t quite pick up but he didn’t comment on it. His feet shuffle as he makes his way towards the cupboard that holds the cereal. 

“Aye,” Max stopped Ash with a soft exclamation. Ash turns to Max, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. “I’m making bacon and eggs.”

“Oh, okay.” Ash said quietly, taking a seat at the kitchen island. “You need help?” Ash rests his bed head into the fold of his crossed arms. 

“Can you peel and chop potatoes?” He says pulling the cutting board out of its compartment and a knife from the drawer. He slides it over to the tired boy who in turn shifts in his seat as he aided bringing the items the rest of the way. Max goes back to the bacon. Letting it fry in the pan, flicks of oil occasionally jumping outside of the pan and right onto his bare hand. Each time causing Max to wince in light pain. 

Ash runs the potatoes under the sink’s water. He rubs at the few dirt spots, making sure to get everything off. He carries them back to his seat, and picks up the potato peeler and fiddles around with it, listening to the rattle of the peeler part. Ash hasn’t been allowed to touch knives and kitchen tools since he was around nine. When he stabbed Marvin in the stomach to get away from his smelly cigarette breath. If Ash had to admit it made him nervous, like he might not be able to control himself. What if something were to happen and he hurt Max? 

As if Max could read Ash’s mind he spoke up, “you know how to use that?”

Ash nodded in a partial lie, he’s seen people use a potato peeler before. He begins to go to town on the poor potato. Max watches from the corner of his eye, giving into his urge to smile about the boy’s shaky technique. He eventually makes it through every one. He picks up the peels and tosses them into the can. He stares at the knife, he picks it up with a trembling hand.

“You okay?” Max didn’t turn around, just kept watching from the side of his eye. 

“Yeah, I got this. Don’t worry,” he begins to chop up the vegetable, slowly, hyperfocusing on his own movements. He glances up to the grown man, to the man who brought him into his home. With seemingly nothing to gain out of it. He just continues to add bacon into his greasy pan. “Hey, Max?”

“Yeah Bud?” Max peered over his shoulder.

“Thanks.” He looks down at his knife, still shuddering under his grip.

“For what?” Max turns fully around, though still shifting the bacon around so it doesn’t burn.

“Bringing me in. Everything .” Ash doesn’t look up to Max. He shrinks into himself.

“You’re welcome Ash. Anything for you.” 

“I…” Ash goes back to chopping the starchy food, “I… know I’m… a lot to handle. And - don’t know how to repay you.”

“Your company,” Max doesn’t hesitate.

Ash’s eyes widen, his shoulders soften from their constant state of tension. Ash lets out an uncontrollable noise of confusion. “My... company?” Ash didn’t even think for a second of the second meaning that that statement could mean.

Max turns around to focus back on the breakfast, “you’re always locked yourself in that room. I wish you’d come join the world sometime. We like you around. We all do.” Ash feels a droplet begin to roll down his face one after the other. He reaches up to his face, pulling away to wet finger. “We want to help you. I want to help you. ” This can’t be happening, not to Ash. Ash doesn’t cry. Especially not in front of others. He chokes back a sob. A painful chest sob. 

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” Max quickly takes the pan off the burner. Rushing over to Ash. Max rubs Ash’s back in a consistent circle. Comforting Ash the best he could. “It’s okay, I’m here.” Which only made him sob even harder. Ash turns around grabbing onto Max’s shirt. Ash buried his head into Max’s shirt. The embarrassment - still boiling but equally ignored. Max just stands there, his hands hovering over Ash’s torso. Until Max gives in, wrapping his hairy arms around the hurt child. This small action practically forced everything to come crashing down. His persona, his past, his future. It all stood still, like nothing else mattered. Ash locked onto Max. Grasping like it was only him and Max. Like a child would a father. Allowing himself to wail for the first time in his life. If Max wasn’t there, he’d for sure had fallen to the ground. 

Eventually Ash let go, taking in a quivering deep breath. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.” 

Ash goes back to chopping the potatoes, this time with the absence of a tremble. Something he’s grown so used to. He noticed the disappearance and so did Max. No one commented on it.

Micheal comes down from his room for breakfast. While they eat Max remembers that he has a meeting coming up soon and Micheal needs a babysitter. “Hey, can you do me a favour?” 

“Yeah, anything. What do you need?” 

“I have a meeting from 1 to around 2:30. Would you be able to watch Micheal?” Ash hesitates, “of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, I can do it.” 

“Okay, then expect me back at around 2:30.” 

“Can we go to the park?!” Micheal exclaims.  

“Uh…” Ash looks over to Max.

“Please, please, please.” Micheal begs.

“Micheal don’t pester.” Max says in a firm yet loving tone. 

Micheal sinks down into his seat crossing his arms in defiance, “we never go to the park anymore.” 

“I’ll take him,” Ash speaks up.

Max looks over, quite shocked, “you don’t have to Ash, not if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to. I can do it,” Ash gives a vague smile.

Chapter Text

Max quickly gets his stuff together and heads out the door, “both mine and Jessica’s numbers are on the fridge. I know you probably have them already, but better be safe than sorry.” He chuckles before swinging his keys in the air. “Alright see you in a few hours.” He leaves and around half an hour later Micheal comes running down the stairs.

“Can we go to the park now?” Micheal begs with puppy dog eyes.

Ash looks at the clock, he decides he’ll get it over with. “Yeah, get your shoes on.” Micheal jumps around with as much energy as the energizer bunny. Ash claps twice, “come on let’s go Micheal.” He puts on his red converse and tucks the laces not wanting to take the extra step. Micheal fumbles with his shoes before finally getting them on properly. Micheal swings open the door and runs out.

“Can I take my bike?” He yells, running towards the garage. “You can use my dads bike.”

Ash shakes his head, “I don’t need it.” As would be cool to ride a bike,  Ash never learned how and subsequently didn’t want to admit it to an eight year old. “But you can.”

Micheal quickly opens the garage and climbs onto his hot wheels themed bike. He pedals in front of Ash by a few feet, knowing not to go too far. Eventually Micheal stopped at the crosswalk and waited for Ash to catch up. “You’re so slow.” The boy teased, reaching his hand out. Ash looked at his hand confused.

“I don’t have any cash, kid.” He says with all seriousness in the world.

Micheal giggled, “you’re supposed to hold my hand when we cross the road.”

“Right…” the crosswalk light flashes signaling the two to cross but Ash just stands there. Not taking his hand he could feel his heart starting to beat faster.

Micheal forced Ash out of his trance by firmly grabbing Ash’s hand and pulling him slightly, “hurry Ash, the light will turn.”

“Sorry,” he speaks calmly despite the feeling growing inside him. Stop. Don’t touch him. His own voice screaming at him. At the end of the road he finally quickly let go of Michaels hand and wiped it on his shirt. Micheal went to lock up his bike as Ash frantically washes his hands in the park's public washroom. The gut feeling not fading away, you shouldn’t have touched him. What if you hurt him? Don’t look at him. You’re the same, they fucked you up. He took a couple deep breaths, repeating shut up a hundred times over to counteract the thoughts. He retreated from the washroom and sat on the bench next to some elderly lady.

Kids ran around the park screaming their heads off, jumping on and off the jungle gym. Tie your shoes. His thoughts spoke without his permission. Tie your shoes. It said again. Then again, tie them. Shut up Something bad is going to happen. Shut up. Tie them. I said shut up. He eventually caves into the thought and ties his shoes. His heart rate spikes again, he looks around from his seat, searching for Micheal. He quickly spots him playing with a group of boys but it does seem to release this aching feeling in his body. Stop looking at the kids. Stop. Don’t. You’ll ruin them. Shut up. The sounds of the park feeling like they’re growing louder causing the terror inside him to ramp up. In reality nothing changed. What if you already hurt someone and forgot? You’re a horrible person. Shut up. Go back to Dino. You deserve it. Shut up. He’s probably here right now. Ash’s eyes dart around the park. Marvin’s going to show up any mi-

Suddenly, a hand grabs his. Causing him to jolt, “are you okay dear?” Asks the 90 year old woman beside him.

Ash fumbles over the sudden question, wiping the sweat he didn’t realize was forming on his forehead. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” She crochets as she speaks. 

He quickly nods, “yeah.”

“This is a pretty safe park, probably because it’s so close to the police station. It’s my favorite spot to sit.”

“I’ve never been here before.” He speaks slowly with multiple pauses.

“I’ve been coming here since before the play set was here. I would come here to write.”

Ash looks over to her, “write? You’re a writer?”

The little grey haired woman waves her hand about, “comme ci, comme ça. Just a hobby. I started writing after my first husband died. He was my muse.”

“Muse?” Ash asks intriguing.

She looks away fondly, stopping her crocheting. “My inspiration, my love, the one I created for.” Ash doesn’t comment back, letting her words sit in him. Not even noticing that the anxiety is slowly dissipating. “It’s a hard thing to describe, I can’t even come up with the speech anymore. But when I write it…” she pauses, looking at the sixteen year old boy. Pushing Ash's hair out of his face so she could see him clearer, “it’s almost like I see him again.” All Ash can do is nod, “you look just like him.”

“I do?” He asks, confused, putting his hands in his jacket pockets.

She smiles, her eyes almost disappearing, her upturned smile reminiscent of a better time. She nods, “there’s a few differences, but most importantly, you’re a strong soul like my Benno.”

Ash shakes his head subconsciously, “you don’t know me.”

She slowly grabs Ash’s hand again, her wrinkly skin caressing his hand, “but I see you.” She smiles softly then continues, “the war was hard on my Benno. He was different when he came back. He’d used to be the light of the room wherever he went, but then… when he came home, he’d drink and sit there in his chair for hours. Some days he’d just start panicking out of nowhere, the sound of loudly dropping a pan would send him into a frenzy. He’d avoid everything that reminded him of the war. Eventually after a very long time he started to let things in, he started to avoid less. Even though he drank himself into an early grave, he still fought at the very end.” Ash is completely silent over her story, “everything will be okay. I don’t know if your war is over young man. You will be okay.”

A long pause. “I see you.”

Chapter Text

Ash sits at his desk staring off into space while the teacher goes on and on about something he could care less about. The event at the park looms in his mind. Was I that easy to read? He twiddles with the broken case on his phone. The teacher shows up in front of him reaching her hand out for Ash’s phone.

“You know the rules Ash. No phones in class.” 

“I wasn’t even on it.”

“I don’t care, I don’t want to see it,” she does the classic give it over hand signal. Ash reluctantly hands it over. She goes back to her desk and puts it in the drawer. Ash Kaya his head down on the wooden desk.

“Get to work Ash, I don’t want to have to speak to you again.”

“She’s such a bitch,” Ash rants to Shorter about the teacher as they make their way to the cafeteria, “I wasn’t even on it and she took it away. I don’t understand what her problem is.”

“I had her last year as a sub for my English class for a week and I wanted to drop the class because she was so bad,” Shorter rambles, “she’s only really like this to those she thinks are troublemakers.”

“But I’ve never even done anything.” Ash comments.

“Your vibe, your style, the way you speak,” Shorter lists with his fingers, “could be anything she doesn’t like about you. Doesn’t matter. You’ll get used to it.”

Ash sits down, tossing his bag under the table. Ash shrugs, “I think she’s just stupid.”

Shorter chuckles taking his seat beside Eiji. “What’s wrong?” Eiji asks Shorter.

“Ash’s pissy over a teacher again.”

“When is he not?” Eiji smiles as Ash glares at him from across the shitty plastic table. Ash gives Eiji the finger.

“It’s nothing,” he starts ripping the crust off the sandwich that Jessica packed him, “it’s just,” he ends up continuing his rant for the next five minutes.

Eiji interrupts, “Ash?”

Ash looks to Eiji, “what?”

Eiji speaks confidently, “I do not care.” Shorter quickly chokes on his food from a silent burst of laughter. He looks from Eiji to Ash trying to gauge Ash’s reaction.

Ash silently crosses his arms and leans onto the table, “next time just tell me to shut up,” mumbles then quickly takes an embarrassed bite from his sandwich.

Eiji’s eyes bounced around the two boys, “did I say something wrong?”

Shorter pats Eiji on the shoulder with a cheeky, “it’s okay. I would’ve told him the same thing.”

“Shut up, Shorter. You’re all talk.” Ash glares daggers at Shorter.

“Says you,” Shorter teases, “oh, one of my friends is having a party tonight. You two wanna come?”

“Sounds cool,” Eiji agrees. 

“A party?” Ash’s face twists into confusion, “why? What’s the occasion?”

Shorter shakes his head, “no occasion, just a party.”

“I can’t go back to Max’s house drunk. He’ll kick me out.”

“You both can stay at mine,” Eiji offers, “I don’t think Shunichi will mind people over.”

“Sounds good then, at Eiji’s afterwards,” Shorter texts on his phone.

Ash gets home and takes off his shoes and coat. Max comes out of the kitchen eating a chocolate bar, “hey kiddo, how was school?”

“It was fine,” Ash starts going up the stairs.

“Did you learn anything interesting?”

Ash shrugs, “I don’t know.” His usual answer to Max’s daily survey. “Oh, I’m going to my friend's house tonight?”

“Oh?” Max is surprised by this because usually Shorter and Eiji just show up at his house. Ash never really goes anywhere. “Who’s house?”

“Eiji’s.” Ash disappears upstairs. Max smiles to himself, happy that Ash is getting out of his room.

Ash packs some clothes in his backpack. He starts walking to the address Eiji sent him. They’re all meeting there before the party to drop off their stuff. He knocks on the door and a man who’s definitely not Eiji opens, this scraggly man invites the teenage boy into the apartment. 

“Do you like tea?” Shunichi takes the screaming kettle off the stove. 

“No sir,” Ash doesn’t know why he chose such formal language, especially because he hasn’t called anyone ‘sir’ since he saw Marvin last. That fat pig loved that kind of language, he liked the power trip. 

“Shunichi, or Ibe. Either one works.” He has a friendly smile, pouring the steaming liquid into a mug and dunking a tea bag.

Ash nods, looking around the apartment. The decor is as bland as unseasoned meat. No flair whatsoever. In fact instead of real dining chairs it’s just those crappy white plastic chairs you can find at any outdoor store. Though it could be like this because they just moved here a couple months ago. Shorter shows up. Eiji comes out of his room.

“I set up an extra mattress on the floor in my room and either of you can sleep in my bed or on the couch.”

“Dibs on the mattress!” Shorter calls.

“I’ll take the couch then.”

The trio arrived at the party at around 9:30. A bunch of people were already there, the music was loud. There’s a punch in the kitchen. Shorter pour three cups. Eiji takes a sip and immediately almost spits it out. Ash laughs his ass off.

Eiji’s completely shocked, “there’s alcohol in this.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Shorter teases taking a drink out of his own cup.

Eiji slowly takes another shy sip of his drink. 

The night goes on well, everyone’s having a good time. Ash floats around talking to random people, going onto his sixth drink, but he’s barely fazed other than a buzz because his tolerance is quite high for someone his age. Unlike Eiji who’s on his third and is bubbly and clumsy. Then there’s Shorter, who’s drunk but definitely not as drunk as Eiji. 

As Eiji speaks to people he bounces in and out of English as he talks to girls. The girls seem to be into the foreign students charms. Eiji goes for another drink.

“Hey, man, maybe you should slow down,” Ash takes Eiji's cup.

“I’ll be okay,” Eiji takes his cup back, pouring in the punch, spilling some onto the counter.

“Look, you clearly cannot handle this much alcohol, Eiji. You’re not gonna know you’ve gone too far until it’s too late.” 

Eiji takes a decent sized chug, “I can handle myself,” he mumbles.

Ash shakes his head, annoyed at Eiji’s blatant drunken stupidity, “take a break.” Ash commands, taking Eiji’s cup and pouring the contents into his own cup. 

“Fine,” Eiji rolls his eyes and walks away in a huff. Ash leans against the counter, accidentally getting the sticky spilt punch on his hands. He tries rubbing it off dry, but can’t help but think about all the other sticky substances that have been on his skin. He frowns, rubbing harder until he decides to just go to the bathroom. He turns the water as hot as it can get and scrubs. 

Ash walks out of the bathroom and immediately notices a girl giving Eiji a shot. This obviously pisses off Ash because he literally not even ten minutes ago told him to chill out. He doesn’t press the issue but watches as she continues to feed Eiji drinks after drinks. Ash decides enough is enough after the girl starts to get too handsy with the drunk. She wraps her arms around his neck kissing him. Eiji, so drunk he can barely hold himself up let alone her as well. Ash, starting to finally feel the drinks in his system, puts his drink down. 

“You’re done,” Ash pries the girl off his friend.

The girl pushes Ash away from her, “hey!”

“I said , you’re done. You’re not doing this. Not right now.” 

“What the hell is your problem?!” The girl hits him on the shoulder. “We were just having fun.”

“I don’t care.” Ash points to his friend, “he’s drunk.”

She crosses her arms, “what are you his fucking knight in shining armour?”

“I have watched you pump him with booze for the last hour. Meanwhile, how many drinks have you had? Three? Four?” Ash points out obviously becoming more and more aggressive as he speaks.

“Are you fucking stalking us?”

“Do you even hear yourself? Or has all of that fucking makeup gotten into your brain?” The girl's mouth gapes open at Ash’s comment. “Because if he was a girl and you were a guy, you would be a fucking creep. No scratch that. No, you are a fucking creep.”

“I’m the creep?! I bet you’re gunna take him home and play hero and get whatever the fuck you want. You fucking fa-” without a second thought, no, without a single thought he punches the girl square in the face. The party screeches to a complete halt as the girl yelps out holding her bloodied nose. Everyone’s eyes are now on him. He didn’t even realize he did it until he saw the look on her face. Shit. 

Chapter Text

As the chapter says please comment if you would like me to continue???

EDIT: It's official! The story will be continued until fully finished. I'm sorry for the long breaks, but with a grippy socks vacation in June and then getting run over and moving out of an toxic household in August I had to put writing on the back burner. Parental Max Lobo heals my daddy issues so I missed him <3

But in two days it is the 1 year annaversy!! I will post on then. I would love to know how many people are actively reading it as motivation so please keep commenting please!

Chapter Text

The party comes screeching to a holt, all eyes on Ash. He immediately grabs Eiji by the wrist. Trying to squeeze his way out of the crowd to no luck. The only remnants of the once lively party being the blasting base speaker spitting out loud overwhelming bars of displaced pop music. Ash is suddenly slammed to the floor, only know that he was there a few seconds after it happened.
“You wanna know how it feels to get beat on?!” A guy standing over him yells. Ash shifts quickly shoving his red converse right into the rando’s groin, causing him to double over in pain. The blond quickly gets back onto his feet, a red mark already beginning to spread onto his cheek. He quickly ties his hair up, getting into a fighting position.
“You wanna try me?” He swings with a strong left hook. The random dodges just in time for him not to be hit. The back and forth turns out a whole tussle. Both getting their fair share of hits it before the fight is broken apart by the bystanders, of course after Ash was already bleeding.

Ash grunts as he pulls himself away from the people holding him back. He grabs Eiji taking him out of the house into the freezing winter. He takes out his phone, trying his best to remember the numbers that were on the fridge. Eventually it pops into his head. A few crimson drip down into the snow, not enough to be concerning to Ash but still nonetheless painful.
Max groggily answers the phone, “hello?” His voice raspy from his sleep medication.
Ash sighs into the phone, his hands quivering from the cold, “Max, can you come pick me up?”
The phone goes static for a minute before Max finally responds, “yeah, where are you?” Max getting out of bed can be heard through the phone.
“Somewhere on Helen’s crescent, uh,” Ash looks back at the address of the house, “43 Helen’s crescent.”
“Ok, I’m on my way,” Max hangs up with a beep.

Max pulls up to the house. Eiji’s passed out on the steps of the house when he arrives. Ash uses his strength to bring Eiji up onto his feet, “come on Eiji, get up.” He heaves. Eiji stumbles towards the car, Ash holding onto him for dear life so Eiji doesn’t end up with a face full of crystalized ice. Ash puts Eiji into the backseat, buckling him in. Then gets into the passenger seat, not a single peak leaving his mouth. Max’s eyes burn into his bruising face and knuckles, Max just starts the car and begins driving. The warmness of the car causing him to feel the pain growing in his body. The soreness setting into his muscles like a sponge in cold water. Slow and prolonged.

Ash wipes his empty face, just staring ahead in the car. His thoughts on the other hand going berserk, he’s going to kick me out, when I get back I’ll just pack my stuff and leave. He picks at the growing scabs on his knuckles. Rubbing the blood away as it redraws. I don’t care, I don’t care anymore. He reassures himself. But in reality, he did care. In fact he cared so much deep down that the thought of leaving whatever this living situation was hurt. It stinged at just the thought of leaving, but this is what had to be done. He broke the rules, even though he didn’t drink he got into a fight.

Ash lays Eiji on the couch, covering him in a blanket. Max watches unsure what to say to Ash. Max looks over to his suitcases, ready for the road trip they’re taking tomorrow, “Ash?”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll go pack,” he runs up the stairs. Disappearing into the corridor. Max goes into the bathroom grabbing the bucket for Eiji incase he pukes. Placing it next to him then going upstairs to bed, peaking into to Ash’s room. Max continues into his room. Ash hastily shoves clothes into his backpack. Ash leaves behind most of the clothes Max gave him, taking the stash of non perishable food he was collecting from over the time that he was living with Max as security just incase something like this were to happen.
Max’s door opens again and he comes to the doorway, “be ready for 6am tomorrow. We got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow.”
Ash halts in his tracks, “huh?” His head perks up to see what Max is talking about.
“We gotta leave a bit early so Jess doesn’t throw a fit about your face,” Max gives a burly laugh, one fitting of his muscular size.
Ash stops packing, “wait,” his voice cracks with uncertainty, he shakes his head, “you’re not kicking me out?”
“You didn’t drink, you don’t look like you’re on drugs, you haven’t sworn at us,” Max states, slightly puzzled why Ash would think that he’s getting kicked out, “You’re good.” Ash feels this weight come off him that he knew he was holding but didn’t want to acknowledge.

Max wakes up extra early, practically forcing Eiji awake so he can drive him home. Ash stumps down the stairs still half asleep. “Morning,” he grumbles while reaching the last step.
“I made you some breakfast, it’s on the counter next to the stove.” Max says, while Eiji finally sits up rubbing his eyes.
Ash nods, going into the kitchen immediately finding the said sandwich sitting there. He sleepily grabs it and goes to peel off the crust, but realizes it’s already been cut off. Ash walks into the living room holding up the sandwich, “did you cut the crust off my sandwich?”
Max glances over, “yeah? Sorry, do you not like that? I saw you rip it off before.” Max readjusts the pillows on the couch back into their place. “I can make a new one for you if you want.”
Ash takes a bite, “no, this is fine,” he mumbles while chewing as he turns around to go back into the kitchen. Ash takes a glimpse back into the living room, unsure what to think of Max’s gesture. On top of that Max is watching what he does and the fact that he actually went out of the way and did a favor for Ash.

Chapter Text

Max’s radio chants the tops songs of the month, mostly the same 15 songs over again because for some reasons only those “musically genius” cords exist at the moment. At this point, four hours into the drive of this Ash gives up hope for a new string of sounds and turns off the radio, leaving the two in silence. Only the hum of the motorized vehicle creating ambiance around them. The towns they pass through roll by quickly, each sidescape fading into the next. 

After a while Ash, spots a familiar town growing in the distance. His stomach takes a pitstop in his stomach. “Where are we?” Ash breathes, he knows the answer but dares to wish it was false. 

Max looks at his GPS on his dash squinting as to read the little words plastered across the screen, “Cape Cod.” Ash sinks into his seat, hoping the town will pass by as quick as possible but to his dismay as soon as Max see’s a gas station he pulls in. He sinks further, not wanting to be recognized. Though it isn’t like anyone would recognize him after all this time. “Can you run in and grab some treats Ash? I’m getting a bit hungry.” Ash rolls over to access his seat belt, unbuckling and stepping foot in the forbidden town. He takes the bent twenty from Max and heads into the store. 

The teenage gas station attendant ignores Ash as he comes in to continue playing a browser game on the store computer. Ash dottles around, looking at all the colorful snacks designed to catch his attention. Unfortunately, none seem appealing, he grabs Max’s favorite bag of chips. In the corner of his eye he spots another car pulling into the gas station. He picks through the drink options as a familiar woman exits the car t pump gas. Jennifer. Shit. He quickly goes to the counter and quickly pays.He makes his way back to Max’s car in a rush, not wanting to be noticed. Throwing the items in, getting in and pulling up his hood. Hiding away. 

After pumping the gas Max gets back into the car and turns the key, only for the engine to sputter. “Oh, come on you stupid piece of shit.” He mumbles, fiddling with the key. In defeat he hits the steering wheel, accidentally giving out an attention grabbing honk. Through the commotion, Jennifer wanders her way over. Clicking on the window for Max’s attention. Max instinctively rolls down his window, Jennifer peers in. 

She stumbles with her words a bit, not used to striking conversation up first, “hi, uh, is everything alright here?” She says with weariness in her voice. Her eyes wander over to Ash, currently sulking into his seat, “I noticed you…” she goes quiet. As if the wheels in her head are spinning to figure out where she knows this kid from. “Aslan?” Her face perks up a smidge. 

“Jennifer…” he says an unwanted grin of pure and utter displeasure masked. He slowly sits up from his shrinked position “It’s nice to see you…”

Max’s eye brows furrow at the sight of the interaction, “you two know each other?” Max says puzzled how there would be a connection between these two.

“I’m Jennifer, I’m married to his dad.”

Max slowly turns to Ash with bewilderment, then back and forth between the two. “His mom ?”

Ash mumbles, “step-mother.” 

“Jim can probably fix your car, he’s pretty handy.” Before Ash can interject Max agrees. 

Max, Ash and Jennifer arrive at the Green Hill Diner. When they walk in Jim Callenreese is scrubbing at the grill with a metal brush preparing to open the restaurant. “We’re closed right now,” he says, not yet turning to see who was there. 

“Jim?” Jennifer's voice calls forth to him official grabbing Callenreese’s attention.

He turns around his eye brows furrowing in recognition, “what the hell is he doing here?” Ash just stares at his father. Expressionless, he doesn’t care what his father thought of him. He knew what his father was going to say something and here he begins, “you finally getting paid out there in the big city or you still doing it for free?” 

“Jim,” Jennifer demands for his words to be kinder to his son. 

“Things are fine,” Ash sits down at the bar stool, Max follows suit.

Jennifer puts on her apron, “can you fix their car? It broke at the gas station.” She gets behind the counter and starts washing her hands, “after the dinner service tonight?”

“I’ll pay you of course,” Max blurts in, “I need to be in Provincetown by tomorrow afternoon.”

Callenreese just grouses around about being tired and overworked, and how Ash just expects him to let him walk all over him. Ending in a strong, “fine I’ll do it. Only so I don’t ever have to see his face again.”

Max scans Ash to see if he’s made any reactions to such comments, not even a flinch. For Max, he’s starting to feel like he’s breaking a barrier that Ash had set up. Just how Jim was treating Ash; it was clear that Ash didn’t want to be here. He recognized that look of anger that grew in him the second he agreed to come to his father’s dinner. By then it was too late to refuse the invitation. He hoped Ash wouldn’t end up hating him. “Thank you so much.” Max maintains his friendly exposure. 

Ash gets up from his seat, “where are the key?” Max tries to ask what keys but before he can Ash is already digging through the drawers. Then pulls out a single loose key. And leaves the building, Max quickly follows suite. 

Max briskly catches up with Ash, ‘where are you going?

“My house,” he says bluntly. 

Max stops in his tracks, processing that new information. “You own a house ?!” Max exclaims.

Chapter Text

Ash flips through the ring of keys, attempting to remember which one opened the door. “Jim owns it. He just lives over at the diner.” He decides to pick a key at random, doing this over and over again until the key fits into the lock. He opens the door, walking in. Chucking the keys into an empty fish bowl beside the door. Max moseys through the house behind Ash. The furniture covered in dust-filled white sheets and aged sun exposure from the curtains being open for so long. “Make yourself at home.” Ash rips the cover off the sofa, creating a cloud of dust that invades both their lungs.
Max looks at the pictures on the wall. Max can’t help but think Ash was a cute kid, he especially likes the one where Ash has a pumpkin on his head. “These are cute,” Max glaces over to Ash with a cheeky smile. He spots one with his old buddy Griffin, one where Ash is sitting on his shoulders and they both look at peace. Max just stares at it, memories of the war flashing through his head. The two clanking cups random moonshine that they found in an old abandoned box.
Ash doesn’t even take a look at Max to know what he’s looking at, “that’s my brother.”
Max still remembers the day that he turned his back on a friend, midst a long drought of supplies the team got desperate, eating food they scavenged. They made had double, no, triple checked to see if the plant they were going to eat was safe for consumption. Though after they ate it things went south fast, effecting the mind in a way that they hadn’t dealt with before. Griff became paranoid from the trip. Everyone was so delirious at this point no one saw Griff grab the guns. Half of the crew was passed out, the other singing old fashion songs to pass the never ending trip. Before anyone knew it half the crew was bleeding out. Bullets flew around, grazing Max in a few places. The only thing that Max could think of doing was to defend himself, he grabbed his gun and tried to get Griffin in the legs. But everything was fading in and out from the drug, he ended up missing. Shooting his friend dead.
“He died in the war,” Ash continued, not knowing that Max knows Griffin.
Max nods, knowing the story already, “I’m sorry… I knew you’re brother…” he bites his tongue trying to decide if he should tell Ash that Griffin’s death is Max’s own doing. “He was a good guy, Ash.”
Ash peers over as he pulls the dust cover off the couch, “you knew him?”
“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck in uncertainty. “It’s crazy, almost…” he grants an awkward laugh to fill the almost choked air, “crazy that years later I meet his little brother and take him in.”
Ash shrugs, “kind of?” Ash plops down onto the freed couch, his feet kicked up on the arm rest.
Max takes it upon himself to give himself a little tour through the quint household. Landing back in the living room where Ash lays covering his eyes with his arm. “If you own a house, than why are you on the streets?”
Ash clenches his fist subconsciously at the question, Dino instantly flooding into his head, “you’ve met the old man at the restaurant. He doesn’t want me here.”
Max purses his lips attempting to find his way through the conversation, “he seems like a dick.”
“You get it,” Ash keeps in his napping position as he speaks, mild annoyance seeping into his voice, “he’s not much of a father. Just a man that forced me into this planet.” Ash pauses, his annoyance hitting peak, “god, you make a better father that old,” Ash forces the breaks down against the flow. Max chuckles at Ash’s brief fright “Prick…” he ends up finishing the sentence but then quickly flows into a save, “I mean, anyone could.”
Max tries to hold in his appreciation towards the teenage, but it seeps through either way in the form of laughter, “thanks, kid.”

The next day Max and Ash go back to the restaurant to see if the truck is finished yet, Jennifer makes them breakfast. There’s a few locals sitting around drinking way to early in the morning. As soon as Ash walks in Jim starts his complaints about Ash being there. Giving out discombobulated grunts each time he flips the eggs. Ash just sits there, taking everything thrown at him. Max starts to get pissed off, how could this man do this to his own kid? Max would never even have nightmare about saying what this man does.
“If only Ash was the one sent off and Griff got to stay. At least then our family name wouldn’t be so tainted,” that’s it, that’s all Max can take.
Max slams his fist against the counter, calling attention from everyone in the building, Ash startles the most, looking at Max with pure confusion, “will you just shut the hell up?!” He’s seething, “this is you’re fucking kid! You’re supposed to love him for however he is! Yet here you are going on and on about how you wish he’d be a complete different person!” Ash’s confusion turns to shock at Max’s unexpected outburst. “He’s a good fucking kid! If you’re too fucking stupid to see it that’s you’re problem!” Max goes on and on about Ash. Ash just stared at Max, never having anyone, other than Griff to stand up for him before.
Max grabs Ash pulling him out of the building and getting into the fixed truck, throwing some cash out the window for the payment. Max’s fist white knuckled against the wheel, “don’t let anyone treat you like that, Ash.” Ash doesn’t know what to do, he’s never seen Max like this before, and in complete honesty it kind of scared him. “Especially not some dickhead like that.”
“Okay…” he sinks into his seat a bit, fearing that Max is mad that Ash didn’t stand up for himself.
Max slowly unclenches the steering wheel, taking a deep breath, and out in an exaggerated exhale, “look, you’re a good kid. You’ve always have been Ash. No matter what, I’ll always see you this way.”