Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Roman lets himself in with the key she gave him. He had been afraid the doorman might stop him, but he had just waved him in and said good evening. 

He has only been there once before, the time they talked this whole scheme over.

“Are you serious?” Roman asked. “You’re really into that?”

She had heard the rumors about him. Heard that he couldn’t, or didn’t, fuck. But she also heard about some of his kinks. She thought it could maybe work for both of them, and yes she was into it. Very very very much into it.

He removes his shoes and creeps down the hallway. He doesn’t turn on any lights, keeps one hand on the wall to guide him as he goes. Her door is ajar as they’d discussed and he stands in the doorway for several long moments listening to the long deep breaths of her slumber.

“I’ll take two Valium,” she had explained. “And have a couple of glasses of wine. When I wake up I’ll be groggy but aware.” Roman had just nodded. He wanted to do whatever she wanted him to, just couldn't fathom this being that thing.

Once he is convinced she is truly asleep he creeps into the room and removes his clothes, placing them in a chair in the corner. He pulls back the blankets on the other side of her bed and crawls in next to her. She doesn’t react, just keeps deeply breathing and laying on her stomach. 

Roman waits for another couple of minutes, listening to her breathe before he reaches over and touches her arm. When she doesn’t react he rubs her back and then slides his hands down to her ass, rubbing and stroking as he goes.

“What do you want me to do exactly?” Roman was almost afraid to ask the question but her answer shocked him. 

“Whatever you want. That’s the point of this. I want you to take control.”

He slips his hand between her legs, finding that she’s already applied lube as they had discussed. He runs his fingers through her folds, getting used to what she feels like. He slips his fingers inside her and rubs where he thinks her g-spot might be. He uses his thumb to stroke her clit and that part works, she moans and rolls towards him. He moves closer to her, his free hand reaching around her front to caress her breast and squeeze her nipple.

She smells amazing. It’s the same as she always does at work but also softer and mixed with something different. His cock is rock hard and he pushes it against the fleshy part of her ass, hoping for some friction. His thumb continues on her clit, two of his other fingers inside her and she is definitely moaning now, her cunt getting even wetter under the lube. She actually likes this.

He pulls his hand out and gently rolls her to her back before returning his hand to her cunt, liking how she is pressing into him a bit. He thinks she is still asleep but can’t know for sure and finds that it doesn’t matter. Not with all of the lights out and her pretending. It’s good enough.

“Are you sure? What if you hate it?” Roman asked. 

“I’ll tell you to stop,” she said. “We need a safe word. Maybe Vaulter?” They had both laughed at that, the shared memory of a mistake aborted.

He slowly pushes her legs open and climbs over her. She whines in her sleep, missing his hands on her. He returns them and the contented sigh she makes when his fingers return to her clit is so good he could almost come just from that. 

He thinks she is still asleep. Her body is enjoying this even though she is not yet aware of him. Careful to keep pressure on her clit, he lines himself up at her opening and pressed just the tip into her and then pauses. Her breathing continues at the same pace so he pushes the rest of the way, suppressing his own moan. 

fuck fuck FUCK.

“Condoms, right?” He wanted to be sure he understood the parameters. 

“I’d prefer not. I like to know after that you were there. To have the evidence of what you’d done on my body. We can get tested. And it’s fine as long as we stay monogamous.” 

Roman laughed. “You know I can’t really fuck anyone so you have nothing to worry about on that front.”

She feels amazing. He’s never had sex without a condom before and can’t believe how much better it is. It’s like fucking into warm, wet velvet instead of a slick plastic bag. He pulls out and pushes back in harder, deeper, faster. She gasps. He can’t tell if she’s awake now, but it doesn’t matter. She isn’t telling him to stop so he won’t.

He keeps the pressure going on her clit, tracing a spiral over it as he fuck in and out of her body. He can’t last long like this. It’s too fucking good and he is going to come, maybe harder than he ever has in his life.

“So you want me to like, come inside you?” 

“In me, on me. You pick. Just make sure I can tell you have been there and that you enjoyed it.”

He stops thrusting. He’s too close. He pulls out entirely, his dick still hard, and uses his fingers again. He has two inside of her and one on her clit. She’s moaning again, her hips moving under his hands as she gets closer. He tries to hold her steady, but she is too much for him, her body demanding he continue.

“Once I’m partially awake I can usually come if you are attentive enough. If I wake up and you haven’t let me get first I am not going to be happy with you, Roman.”

He can’t fuck this up. He tightens one hand on his cock. He just holds it, doesn’t stroke it. He wants to come inside of her but needs to get her off first. He’s sure she is awake now. Her eyes are still closed but her breathing is choppy and her groans are uneven. Just when he thinks that maybe he is doing this all wrong, he hears her gasp and her body squeezes around him. 

He withdraws his fingers quickly, thrusting back into her. It’s insane. Her cunts is fucking milking him, squeezing him from all sides and he only has to thrust into her three more times before he’s coming. He swallows his own sounds, his arms shaking under him as he struggles to keep his weight off of her. 

Coming inside of her is like nothing he had ever imagined. Each pulse of his cock is like a new summit, a new fall into ecstasy. He can’t believe this is what sex feels like. It’s never been this way for him before. It was just awkward and uncomfortable. He understands now why people get so desperate for it.

“What happens after?”

“You quietly get dressed and you leave. Make sure you lock the door behind you. You don’t talk to me about it unless I bring it up first.” Roman nods in agreement. He knows he has no room to negotiate terms.

He waits for his dick to get so soft that it slips out of her. She has fallen back to sleep. He could sense the moment it happened. He wonders if she will remember any of this in the morning or just know he had been there from the come dripping down her thighs when she stands up. 

He backs away from her, quietly putting his clothes back on, not even stopping in the bathroom to clean up. He retraces his step back to the front door, checks the lock and closes it behind himself.

He wants her to remember. He wants her to know how good she felt as his hands worked on her. He hopes she will.

Please let her remember.

Chapter Text

Roman never really falls asleep that night. Fine, maybe he takes a small couple of cat naps here or there, but his mind is drowning in the memories of that evening, what it felt like to walk down her dark hall, to lie in her bed, to feel her come under his hands, to come inside of her. He’s been replaying it in his head over and over again, an endless loop of nothing but her. 

She smelled so good last night, like herself concentrated but with something deeper and richer underneath it. Her skin was like silk under his fingers, fine and delicate, begging to be caressed. He couldn’t really see her. She was just outlines. But he knew and he always will know. Her face is never not in his mind.

It occurs to him at around 3 o’clock that he hadn’t kissed her. Not on the mouth or on any other part of her delectable body. He obsesses on that for at least an hour, berating himself about opportunities missed. He will do it next time, he promises himself. If there is a next time.

Will there be a next time?

There has to be a next time. 

At 4 o’clock he starts imagining what it would have been like to put his face into her cunt, to smell her, to taste her. He wants to do that next time. He’s never been good at it, always got turned off by the smell and the dampness, but thinks maybe if she isn’t watching him, if he can take his own time to get used to it, to figure out how to make her feel good, to not have the pressure of an impatient person staring down at him, wondering when he was going to stop being an everlasting fuck-up, will get himself together well enough to make her come. But if she’s not awake, it’s only him trying to make it work for himself and eventually for her and maybe he can be less of a epic fucking failure.

In the 5 o’clock hour he thinks of texting her, maybe just a good morning, an attempt to get her temperature about what had happened. He talks himself out of it and instead lets himself replay the entire night again in his head, examining every single detail. He lets out an involuntary whimper when he gets to the part about the first time he pushes into her. He almost can’t move fast enough to wrap his hand around his cock, to stroke himself as he remembers just what it felt like to feel her smooth, hot cunt gripping him from the inside. He manages to last longer doing it this way than when he actually fucked her, he realizes when he finally finishes, come dripping over his fingers in a a slow and unstoppable stream. 

He needs to get better at the lasting part too.

At 6:30 he gives in and finally sends her a text message. It takes him nearly a half hour to compose it, remembering all of her warnings about not mentioning anything unless she mentions it first. It’s not completely unheard of for them to make contact at this early hour. Gerri seems to wake up ready to work, firing him orders whenever they occur to her, regardless of the time. 

He finally settles on: GM! I am stopping at Blank Street on my way in. Flat white oat and almond croissant for you?

He’s not stopping anywhere, of course. His assistant will go and fetch everything. But it feels like he should say it’s him, make it seem like he’s taking care of her, that he knows her well enough to know what she wants. That he can be the one to give it to her.

She doesn’t respond by 7 o’clock so he forces himself to take a shower. He finally hears from her at 7:20, just under an hour later, when he is both getting dressed and cursing himself for being so fucking stupid for sending it in the first place. Her reply says: Thanks Roman. That would be lovely.

He smiles at his phone for a full minute before collecting himself well enough to send the text to his assistant letting her know exactly what to have ready when he gets to the office.

**********

She’s so groggy when her alarm goes off at 6 o’clock. Valium and alcohol usually gives her a hung-over feeling and today is no exception. She needs it sometimes to sleep, though. Not just for something like last night, but in general. She is not good at shutting down her brain and often needs that smidge of help. 

She presses the snooze button on her alarm clock three times. Yes, she still has an alarm clock. Her daughters call her a boomer and laugh, pointing out that her phone already has an alarm. That is true, but a bedside clock has worked for Gerri for the past six decades and she sees no reason to change something that is working.

As she finally floats back into consciousness at half past the hour, she becomes increasingly aware of his sticky mess between her legs. She presses her fingers into her inner thighs and rubs it into her skin. She moves her fingers up higher, feeling the tacky remnants of last night’s lube mixed with his come, still slick from the heat of her body. She runs her fingers through that too, spreading it up and over her labia, rubbing her thumb over her clit, her hips bucking under her hand almost immediately.

She lets go just long enough to pull her vibrator from where it’s charging within reach of the bed. It’s her favorite, it both sucks her clit and has a thrusting arm and she slides it right into herself, using his mess in place of lube, still helping to get her off even when he’s no longer here. A deep moan falling from her lips the instant she presses the power button.

She keeps the intensity low, gentle sucking, barely any thrusting. She replays the very little she can remember from the night before. She hadn’t heard him come in, didn’t become aware of him until his fingers were on her cunt, in her cunt, stroking her from both the inside and the outside, miraculously managing to find the right spot on his first try. She couldn’t stop herself from moaning, almost cried out in frustration when he removed his hand to roll her onto her back. 

She increases the intensity on her vibe as she remembers what it felt like when he climbed over her. He’s not a big man, not scary or overpowering, but he had seemed so last night, her brain foggy and her body heavy with unrealized sleep. He was a large and menacing presence, his hand on her clit, his breathing loud and labored as he lined up to push into her cunt. He was dangerous and unknown…but also not. As ludicrous as it was, she fucking trusted him, even as she didn’t know exactly what he was going to do to her, the ways in which he would bend her, maybe even break her, to satisfy his desire.

She likes that part. The underlying trust but the implied danger, not knowing what might happen. Maybe something she couldn’t stop even if she wanted to.

Fuck.

Gerri increases the intensity again, her hips bucking and she’s moaning so loud now. For a split second of insanity she thinks of calling him, of letting him listen to what he is doing to her even now. She is so fucking desperate, needy ,  just from the memory of him. She knows he would love it, would be moaning along with her in seconds, his hand fucking himself as he remembers what it was like to have the privilege of fucking her.

No. 

She doesn’t and she won’t and she can’t. 

She grinds harder into her vibe, remembering the feeling of him thrusting into her, the shocked gasp he made at the incredible fucking sensation of the two of them together, skin on skin. He had to stop himself, too close, to get her off first, and how he then fucked her through her climax, thrusting right back in whist her body was still pulsing from what he had done. 

She felt him come inside of her, heard the groan from deep in his core, and she comes again now thinking of it, actually yelping at how intense it is, methodically counting the pulsations inside of her, five, then ten, then fifteen. 

Fucking hell.

And then…nothing. She had fallen back to sleep, sucked under by the medication and the alcohol and the fucking bliss he had given her. Nothing until this morning and just those blurry memories.

She pulls her vibe out, powers it off, and drops it down onto the floor. She catches her breath. 

She glances at her boomer alarm clock. Almost 7:30. Fuck, she didn’t realize she had let herself go that long. Fuck, she wishes she had time to go again. 

She picks up her phone, sees his text. She wants to be mad. He’s not technically breaking her rule. But come fucking on, he is in essence and she knows he knows that.

She considers not responding, not indulging his behavior, how he’s encroaching on the boundary she made so clear. 

She lasts for about two minutes. She stands up, washes her hands, her vibe, turns on the shower but then rushes back to the bedroom to type quickly on her phone. 

Whilst standing in the shower, she replays the night again, having to lean against the wall to stay upright, her legs shaking from the intoxicating waves of arousal she feels just from the memory.

She can’t fucking wait to do it again.

Chapter Text

the second time

Gerri largely ignored Roman at work all week. Finally, on Friday evening she sent him a text. It just said: tonight

Fucking hell, it was about damn time. For about ten seconds he considered writing back and telling her he’s busy. Instead he sent a thumbs up and spent the next six hours wholly obsessing about her including walking around her block for 45 minutes before finally heading into her apartment.

He’s nearly knocked to his knees the second he goes in, the smell of her so prominent and intoxicating that he’s submerged in fiery desire just from that alone.

He repeats his same steps, shoes off, walks quietly down the hall, enters her room and undresses, carefully joins her on the bed. 

She’s already on her back this time and he wastes no time in getting his hands on her, her skin feeling so delicate under his touch. 

When he moves down between her legs she moans and spreads them wider. He jolts at the first touch of his tongue to her, not prepared for how she would taste, musk underneath the chemical bitterness of lubricant. He tries not to shudder as he licks through it, washing the lube away until all he’s left with is her.

He gives up after a few minutes, his cock throbbing between his legs and her not responding. He switches back to his fingers, thumb on her clit, two fingers inside to stroke her g-spot and she comes quickly. He pushes into her straightaway, fucking her through her orgasm and his own.

the third time

Then two weeks of nothing. He’s on the cusp of asking her about it, looking for any opportunity to catch her alone. He knows it’s breaking the rules but not knowing is making him crazy. Are they done now? Is twice all he is going to get? Has she moved onto someone else, his ministrations judged poorly?

That second Thursday evening she texts him again. Just: tonight. He doesn’t bother to respond at all this time, not even an emoji, but follows his same practiced routine of up the elevator, down the hall and into her bed.

He starts with his fingers this time after he rolls her to her back, caressing her until she’s writhing under his hands, her hips bucking up. He tries switching to his mouth again after that but her excitement wanes quickly he uses his hand again, getting her off quickly.

He lasts longer himself this time, fucking into her over and over for at least three minutes, each stroke whittling his desire for her into something pointed and fierce. At the last second he pulls out and comes on her stomach. He wishes he could see it, her skin painted with his passion, but it’s too dim. 

He doesn’t clean her up before he leaves, lets it sit there for her to find in the morning, his sticky declaration of passion.

the fourth time

Another two weeks. They’re both traveling, there wasn’t much opportunity, and he uses that knowledge to soothe his own ego. She’s not rejecting him. Maybe she wants him just as much as he wants her, feels her breath quicken at the idea of it, needs to reach down and touch herself as she remembers what it is like between them, desperate for a release at the simple idea of what he can make her feel.

He’s barely put his bag down in his apartment that Friday night after a long week of travel when she texts. tonight

He’s tired, had been looking forward to a good night's sleep in his own bed, maybe sleeping late tomorrow. Instead he knows he will be prowling down the street after dark, walking the distance between their places before heading up to her. He had missed her, couldn’t say no even if he had wanted to. Not that he wants to. He wants nothing more than he wants her.

He’s tired though. He stumbles as he removes her shoes in her entryway, his socks slipping on the hardwood floors. He has to reach out and put his hand on the wall to steady himself, dropping his shoe to the ground with a thud in the process. He curses under his breath. 

fuck

She’s restless when he enters her room, turning over as he undresses, sighing loudly before turning again, trying to get comfortable. 

She flinches when his hands first touch her and he holds them steady waiting for her to settle before he moves them, smoothing over her breasts, plumping them in his hand, lightly squeezing her nipples. 

When he moves them between her legs she sighs again but in a way that feels like longing. He decides to be brave, bolder than usual, and shifts himself so he can replace his fingers with his mouth.

He’s used to this not working by now, his long licks and short laps not doing much to move her but he tries harder this time, fluttering his tongue over her.

Nothing.

Just as he is about to give up, to use his hand again he feels her fingers card into his hair. She pulls at it for a moment and he enjoys that sensation, the edge of pain just on the other side of the feeling. But then he gets the hint, realizing what she is trying to do, pulling his head up. 

This time when his tongue makes contact, she moans, her fingers tightening, and he knows now what he was doing wrong. Her hips are moving under his arms, pushing up against his mouth as first he tentatively touches her before evolving into a full devouring.

He can’t get enough of her. It’s not just the taste, though that is better now that he is used to it, but it’s the reaction, the raw passion he feels in her movements and her sounds as he uses his tongue, lips and teeth to nibble and suck on her.

He almost comes himself when she does, the taste of her different as she floods his mouth with her release. She is delicious, exquisite, and he could do this all night if she would let him.

He takes a moment to catch his breath, willing himself to calm down, not wanting to come before he’s even in her. Gerri’s fingers stay tangled into his hair and she pulls lightly, not enough to move him, but enough to create some tension. He counts his breaths.

onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten

He pulls himself up, trying to make out her face in the dark. He thinks she is awake, not just that twilight-sleep groggy state she’s usually in, but fully awake and he realizes that it matters to him all of a sudden. 

She groans louder than usual when he pushes into her and he doesn’t even wait, just goes right back to work on her clit, slowing his thrusts on purpose until he is sure she is worked up again, until he knows she will come again before he does even once. 

When she does, her back lifts off the mattress and one of her legs curls around him, right over his ass, pulling him deeper into her. 

He’s loud this time, groaning as he fucks her so hard and dirty.

“ fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck .” 

He chants this over and over again as he comes inside of her, comes so hard his head goes fuzzy and light and he thinks if he had been standing he might have fallen over from how fucking powerfully that raced through his body.

He stays inside of her for a moment, catching his breath again, willing her to maybe say anything. But as he pulls out she rolls over, her back to him, the silence falling over the room like a veil.

the fifth time

again tonight

She sent it just after six o’clock though he didn’t see it until hours later.

He has high hopes for that night, thinks they’ve made some sort of breakthrough the night before, but when he enters, she’s out so deeply that she’s snoring and he wonders if she drank more or took an extra valium to ensure that nothing he did would disrupt her.

He eats her out again twice, taking a short break in between, hoping that will rouse her. It does not though she comes both times. He thinks he might be addicted to the taste of that, what it feels like when her body submits to him.

He’s frustrated after though, disappointed that what he built up in his head didn’t come to pass, maybe a little pissed. He remembers her first instructions to him.

“Whatever you want. That’s the point of this. I want you to take control.”

He stacks up two pillows, rolling her over onto them, her hips raised, her head turned to the side so she can still breathe. He roots around on her bedside table, not even trying to be quiet, until he finds the lube, spreads it first on his fingers and then on her ass, working first one finger in and then a second.

This is familiar territory for him, more so than most of the other things they do. He lubes himself, applies more to her too, suddenly having second thoughts, worries about hurting her. But then he remembers what happened last night and she damn well fucking knew what it was too. 

She gasps softly as he pushes into her, the inside of her body so fucking tight it almost steals his breath. He waits for her to stop him, their safe word taunting the edges of his consciousness, but she doesn’t so he pulls out and pushes back in again. It’s harder and faster this time and he is not sure it feels better than what it’s like to fuck her sweet, sweet cunt, but it’s really fucking good. 

He doesn’t soften his grunts, holds firmly to her hips as he fucks her over and over again, pulling out just before his orgasm and bathing her back in his come. 

He doesn’t clean up anything after, leaves her like that, noting that it’s just after four o’clock, this session lasting longer than the previous ones. She will surely be awake shortly, will know what he did, hopes that she remembers that she all but dared him to do it, telling him it was his choice once he was in the room.

He considers showering in her bathroom, invading her space in a way they’d never discussed, but chickens out and pulls his clothes back on and leaves. He’s pushed against enough boundaries for one day, is afraid that if he pushes too hard she will pull back entirely.

He has a text again when he wakes up.

you dirty little fuck

Chapter Text

you dirty little fuck

It’s just after 6 o’clock. Judging by the way her body is humming, she imagines that Roman hasn’t been gone that long. Like always, her memories of the night before are fuzzy. She remembers how hard she came, his mouth latched on her clit, his whiskers abrading her thighs, fingers pressed into her hips. Twice. He did it twice . 

The cocky little shit was getting a little too good at this.

Even through her sleepy haze she could sense his hesitance as he rolled her over, as he lubed them both up and pushed into her. He had gotten over it quickly. Once he got a taste of what it was like. He had fucked her good and hard and made so much noise she almost thought he was trying to wake her up. Maybe he was.

If he thought he would horrify her, he didn’t. She’s lived a full life, has done a lot worse than been fucked up the ass by an average sized cock. She even likes it sometimes, that feeling of submitting , doubly so whilst asleep. There’s a lack of control, a sense of being fully vulnerable to another person that has always appealed to her. 

It was almost kind of cute in an innocent way. He could do absolutely anything and that was the worst he could come up with. Well, so far anyway. She hopes he continues to escalate, to tap into all of his most fucked up desires and find a way to act them out. There is very little he could dream up that she wouldn’t enjoy, that she probably hasn’t done already. 

Roman doesn’t know this, though. And he doesn’t need to. She enjoys the idea of keeping him on his toes, of making him think that maybe he went too far. She knows him well enough to know that uncertainty is exactly what gets his dick hard, will get him off harder than almost anything else. 

You’ve been a dirty little fuck, Roman, and Mommy is very disappointed in you.

He’ll be creaming in his pants before she even finishes the sentence.

Gerri strips the sheets off her bed and puts on clean ones. She takes a shower, washing away all the stickiness from the night before. She’s always a little bit sad when she does that. She loves that evidence of his presence whether it’s in her or on her, hates to see it rushing down the shower drain. The memories of what happened are so elusive, slip through the fingers of her consciousness so easily, that sometimes she needs that physical reminder to help make it real.

She winces as she steps out of the shower, her ass a little sore but her hips where he’d firmly gripped her most sore of all. She looks in the mirror and sees stains of purple setting into her skin, fives perfect ovals from his fingers. She turns to the other side and they’re there, too. A matching set, his fingers marking up her skin where he gripped her so tight, overcome with passion for her.

She likes that very much.

As she’s making up her bed, she watches her phone and notices that he’s typing in their text window. He stops and starts and stops again for at least five minutes. Finally he just stops. She settles back onto the bed, dials his number and puts it on speaker phone.

“Hey,” he says. He sounds tentative.

“Good morning.” Her voice is cold as ice. “Did you have a nice evening?”

There’s silence on the other end of the line but she can hear him breathing.

“It shouldn’t surprise me that you are too chickenshit to answer me.”

“I think you know I had a good time.” He has his slick cocky little shit voice in place now. “And you did too judging from the number of times you came all over my face.”

Gerri hisses. “So disgusting. Does that seem like something I want to hear from you?”

“I don’t know, but you certainly fucking liked it whilst I was doing it.”

Gerri scoffs. “You’re nothing but a tool to me, Roman. You’re like a half-dead vibrator, barely able to get the job done, still making me do most of the fucking work.”

“Uhu.” He’s trying to sound bored now. “But I did get it done. Twice.”

She can’t win that argument.

“And that’s to say nothing of your disgusting display after.”

“Oh yeah? You liked that?”

“You’re a deviant, Roman. A twisted little fuck.”

“A twisted little fuck who got you off twice.”

“Did I say you could do that? Did I say you could touch me there?”

“You said I could do whatever I wanted.” He’s starting to sound nervous again now.

“I did,” she agrees. “But I clearly had no idea how absolutely fucking sick you were when I said that.”

“How sick am I?” 

He’s moved from nervous to interested and she’s surprised it took him this long. She opens her own robe, running her fingers over herself.

“So fucking sick. I was horrified when I woke up this morning.”

“Horrified and turned on.” He’s breathless and she’s sure he’s touching himself, has his hand gripped around his cock as he thinks of her, remembers the night before.

“ Horrified ,” she repeats. “To think you touched me there, that your dick was there. It made me queasy, Roman. You make me queasy.” Fuck, she’s so turned on. 

“I fucked you good,” he gasps. “So fucking good.”

“Maybe.” She’s starting to feel a little lightheaded as she presses her finger into her clit, circling around, trying to swallow away her sounds.

“I did,” he insists. “Do you remember? Do you remember how hard I fucked you and how you gasped?”

“Of course I don’t remember.” She tries to keep her voice steady. “I was sleeping and you took advantage of me. I don’t remember a thing.”

“I think you fucking do remember.”

“No,” she insists, hearing how goddamn breathy she sounds. Shit. She isn’t going to last much longer. “I didn’t even know you were here. Would never have known if not for the nasty mess you left behind.”

“I think you love my mess,” Roman insists and she can hear his hand slapping on his cock, his pace increasing, her breathing ragged. “I think you remember and I think you love when I fuck you.”

“Maybe we’re done here,” Gerri moans and she’s so wet, every inch of her so sensitive that everywhere she touches feels fucking amazing. Has she ever been this turned on? “Maybe I need to find someone who isn’t such a dirty little fuck-up. Someone who can fuck me right.”

“Gerri.” His voice is strangled and he gasps. “Fuck.”

She continues, knows how close they both are. “You’re so sick, Roman. And even with all of that poison in your head you still can’t fuck me right.” She hears him whining, his breaths hitching. “And you NEVER will be able to.”

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” he chants the words over and over again as he comes. She uses that sound to cover her own climax, rubbing herself to completion with the memory of his hands digging into his hips as he fucked her so perfectly more than enough to get her off.

Fucking hell she had no idea how well this was going to work out. 

“Gerri.” His voice is like a croak. “Let me come over. Right now. Please. I want to touch you so fucking bad.”

She pauses. Considers. Is surprised that part of her wants to say yes. Wants to have him again today, in an hour, this morning, all afternoon, to see just how fucked up they can be together if they put their heads together and go all in. She can imagine a lot of very interesting things.

But no. 

No. 

She won’t. She can’t. She puts her game face on.

She chuckles. “Oh no, Roman. No, no, no. You have not earned that.”

“What do I have to do? I’ll do anything. Just fucking tell me.”

“What’s the fun in that?”

“What?”

“The fun in me telling you. No. I’m not doing your homework for you, you lazy little brat.”

His breathing is loud and she expects him to argue back, to try to convince her again. 

“Friday,” she says. “Friday night.”

“Yes. Friday. I will be there Friday.”

“Good boy,” she says in a purr. “Now go think about what you’ve done, ok? I don’t want you to disappoint me Friday.”

“I won’t,” he promises. He sounds so desperate that she thinks he would do anything she asked. He’s maybe even mindless from it. “I promise, Gerri.”

“Uhu.” She disconnects the call, tosses the phone onto the bed.

She could use a nap, she decides. She gets up and turns the deadlock on her front door. 

He’s desperate after all. Who knows what he might do. And she wouldn’t want him to catch her off-guard.

Chapter Text

It’s just after midnight and Roman hears her voice as he’s turning the key in the lock and swinging the door open. It’s too late to back out so he presses on, kicks off his shoes and continues down towards her bedroom as he always does.

“Annabelle….No, I…” She sounds stressed. Roman lingers outside the doorway in the dark hallway. “I’m sorry. I am sorry I am such a disappointment to you as a mother.” She falls quiet, clearly listening. “I know you think this is the right thing but I can’t let you do it.” Pause again. “I am sorry you feel that way. I love you very mu–” Her voice cuts off abruptly. He’s not sure if she’s getting yelled at or what so he peeks around the corner.

Gerri is sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at her phone. He watches as her shoulders start to move, tears falling from her face to land on the phone screen.

He considers leaving. Backing out quietly and coming back in a few hours. Instead he steps into the doorway, knocking his knuckles lightly against the frame. Her head flies up. He can tell she’s trying to be mad, to work up the will to tear into him. Instead her face crumbles and he walks to her, pulling her head against his stomach, running his hands on her back and through her hair.

“S’okay,” Roman says over and over again. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“I know,” Gerri sniffs. “These deadbeats just keep taking advantage of her. She’s funded startups, art shows, independent films. She pays for everything. Or, I do really. Then they’re just gone and she’s heart-broken.”

“Men are feckless assholes.” Gerri laughs, her breath hot against his stomach and it feels like he won a billion dollars, or, like something else, something that would actually fucking matter to him. Just from making her laugh whilst he’s touching her like this it feels like glitter exploded through his entire body.

“True. And somehow she blames me in the end.” Gerri sniffles, rubbing her face against his shirt, her arms creeping tentatively around his waist in what is most definitely a fucking hug. She is crying into his shirt and hugging him .

Roman crouches down, moves his face closer to hers. “That’s bullshit. You understand that, right? She’s sad and takes it out on you because she knows you’ll never leave her.”

“Look who’s all enlightened,” Gerri says sarcastically. She’s studying him, her eyes looking even bluer whilst bloodshot with tears, and before he can stop himself he leans into her, brushing his lips over hers. He can taste the briney tears on her mouth and when she doesn’t pull away he eases her lips open and slides his tongue into her mouth.

He is sure she will push him away, shove him with both hands, call him a deviant sicko or something. Instead, she hauls him up tighter against her, her tongue matching his stroke for stroke. He climbs on top of her, kneeling over her body as she lies down and gathers her face in both hands.

Fuck, he loves kissing her. After everything they’ve done it’s insane that this is the first time they’re really kissing but she’s intoxicating and he feels like he’s instantly addicted to her. He would do this for hours, their bodies pressed so tightly together. He is almost disappointed when she starts kissing down his neck, pushing his shirt up so she can run her tongue along his nipple and dip it into his belly button.

When she starts to pull his pants off he stops her. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to make you come now.”

“What? Why?” 

She reaches her hand into his underwear and his brain melts, unable to formulate any sort of coherent thought about why this is not the best idea she has ever had. She then pulls him out, dropping a kiss directly on the head of his cock and he will agree to absolutely fucking anything she suggests. She can have all of his money, can go full black-widow after and bite his head off. It would still be worth it if she is going to wrap her lips around his cock right now.

“So when you fuck me later you actually can last, you pathetic little nobody.” 

She sucks him into her mouth, her hand cupping around his balls, and he actually screeches, his hips bucking up and pushing himself deeper into her mouth. She looks up at him under heavy eyelids, her eyes mocking, and he thinks he might actually die. He is going to be truly murdered by the best blow job by the sexiest woman he has ever seen in his life. 

She barely even has to work at it, bobs her head a few times, swipes her tongue, tugs on his balls, and he’s nutting into her mouth for what feels like forever. He digs his fingers into her hair whist he does it, holding her hot, perfect mouth in place, chanting FUCK over and over again, his mind just blown by what this woman can do to him in about ninety seconds.

She’s barely sat up, wiping her mouth in a way that makes him feel absolutely fucking feral when he considers what might be clinging to her lips, before he wrestles her down to the bed and strips her clothes off. She fucking laughs at him when her pajamas get muddled around her leg and he can’t them off.

“Such a mean bitch,” he huffs before pushing her legs apart and nibbling on the inside of her thighs. “Maybe I won’t fuck you with my tongue now.”

She doesn’t answer him but yanks on his hair, pushing his face directly into her cunt. Not that he resists. He eagerly licks into her, his tongue running the length of her slit before settling onto her clit. 

“Fuck Roman.” She’s panting and hearing her say his name makes his heart beat so fast he thinks he might be having a heart attack. 

He makes her come once, then props himself up on her thighs, watching her face as it moves from blissed out to horny again, and then he goes in again. He repeats this three times, each orgasm seeming to last longer than the one before it, her body going just a little more boneless each time. 

After the fourth time he is ready again. He kisses up her body, really enjoying how loose everything feels. She gasps as he pushes into her and sighs his name.

“Harder,” she whispers. “Fuck me harder. I want to feel you all weekend.” Roman reaches under her ass, angling her hips higher so he can fuck into her harder and deeper.

“Yes,” she hisses. “More.” He leans over, nibbles on one of her breasts before sucking her nipple into his mouth. He thinks he might be going too hard but she seems to like it, her moans get louder so he sucks harder and thrusts deeper and more vigorously.

She feels just as good as she did the first time he ever fucked her but even better because she’s awake, her eyes heavy-lidded as she studies him, her noises louder and more articulate.

He uses his hands on her, pressing and rubbing her clit. Her tactic worked, he was definitely going for longer, the first orgasm enough to release the urgent pressure he felt. This still felt fucking amazing, but not like he was going to die if he couldn’t come soon. 

He couldn’t believe how wet she was. In his hurry he forgot to grab lube, but she didn’t need it tonight, everything was so moist and hot and getting even more so the more he strokes in and out of her, his fingers tickling right over her clit.

“Roman.” She gasps his name again, her eyes looking frantic. “Please.” He shifts his angle, strokes her clit harder and when she comes there is a gush of liquid like he’s never felt before.

“Holy fuck. Did you just?” He can’t finish the sentence because his orgasm is screaming inside of him now, begging to be let out. All he can do is keep fucking her. He grabs her hands, pulling them over her head and holds them there, as he fucks into her again and again, so hard he worries he might hurt her, but her expression is of unrestrained rapture.

“Fuck, Gerri. God damn.” He can’t stop talking, he babbles and rants, and when he finally comes, each stream of come shooting inside of her better than any sensation he could have ever imagined, she smiles at him, her eyes closed.

“Good boy,” she says. He lets go of her hands and she reaches up to stroke his hair. “Such a good boy, Roman.”

She turns and rolls onto her side, her back to him. He has enough mental capacity left to arrange the blanket to cover the wet spot but then collapses next to her, curling into her back and lightly caressing her stomach. He kisses her shoulder gently just before he falls asleep, his arm still firmly circled around her waist.

The next morning

“What are you doing?” 

He prizes his open to see Gerri staring down at him. He reaches for her, tries to pull her towards him for a good morning kiss but she pushes him away.

“Good morning,” he says. 

“What are you still doing here?” She sounds pissed and this gets his attention. He scrabbles so he’s sitting upright and eyes her wearily.

“I was sleeping?” 

“You were supposed to leave.” She is glaring at him now. “It’s our agreement.”

“But, I thought–” 

She cuts him off before he can say anything else.

“I am going to shower. You better be gone when I get out.”

She doesn’t say anything else, walks into the bathroom, and closes the door. He hears her lock it behind her, like he might try to break in or something if she didn’t.

And he looks for his clothes, pulls them back on and sees himself out.

What the fuck just happened?

Chapter Text

Gerri doesn't contact Roman for two weeks. They see each other at work almost every day and interact normally. They talk in meetings, chat if they run into each other in the hallway, and Gerri even pours Roman’s coffee for him one morning whist they are waiting for a board meeting to start. It’s all super fucking normal, except for that it isn’t at all and Gerri is losing her goddamn mind.

There are a few times that Roman looks like he’s almost about to say something to her. He looks at her for just a little bit too long or too closely but she watches as the shutters fall over his eyes and he steps away, always metaphorically, but sometimes also literally, backing away from her without saying a thing.

And this should all be fine. It’s what she wanted, right? She wanted Roman to back the fuck off and give her space and not try to make this out to be something it’s not. And he’s actually doing it. It’s better than fine. It’s good.

She doesn’t miss him. Her fingers aren’t aching to pull up their chat and send him that one little word ( tonight ) that she knows is guaranteed to summon him. Her body isn’t wound so tight that she can hear everything creaking under the tension of the release she is absolutely fucking mad to have, mad to have him give her, his hands and his mouth and his cock coaxing her body to orgasm over and over and over again as she trembles beneath him, barely awake, her mind in a brume of twilight slumber.

Everything is fine.

Friday is horrible, though. Everything goes to shit the minute she wakes up. She can’t find her keys. Her heel breaks as she gets off the elevator. She misread the agenda for an important meeting and wasn’t prepared. A motion to dismiss they had pending was denied. 

She’s tired. She wants to go home, strip off all of her clothes, crawl in her bed, and not wake up until the next morning when she will feel well-rested… and thoroughly and satisfyingly fucked .

It’s early evening, the office is mostly cleared out for the weekend. Before she can stop herself she taps out on her phone tonight and locks it again, putting it facedown on the desk so she won’t watch for an answer. She buries her face back into the NDA she’s correcting from one of the junior attorneys. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?” 

She startles and looks up as he slams the door behind him, in as much as a swinging glass door can be slammed anyway.

“What the fuck are you doing?” His voice is more level on the second pass. “You can’t do this, Gerri. You made your wishes pretty fucking clear last time.”

She tries to look bored. “Did I? I don’t recall it quite that way.”

“Oh, how do you recall it?” His voice is full with sarcasm.

“ Someone got a little too excited and broke the rules.” 

“ I broke the rules ? Do you really not fucking remember mauling me on your bed and begging me to make you come? You tossed the rulebook into the fire that night so forgive me for not keeping up with you.”

She’s getting mad now, pushes back from her desk and stands up in her stockinged feet, her shoes, one still broken, lying under her desk.

“You kissed me. Whilst I was CRYING. You took advantage of me, Roman.”

She can practically see the steam puffing from his body as the fury builds. He points at her whilst he answers.

“You have lost your fucking mind. You were wide awake and knew exactly what you were doing. If that is taking advantage of you, but fucking you when you are drugged and passed out isn’t, then I don’t even know what to say to you anymore.”

“Oh, so we’re kink shaming, now? It’s fine if you don’t like it. All you had to do was say that. I’ll have no trouble at all finding a dozen other men who want to fuck me in any way I will let them.”

“I’m not fucking kink shaming you. How do you even know that term? I’m just saying that you knew what you were doing and I didn’t fucking violate you that night.”

Gerri collects herself again, sits back down, suddenly realizing how ridiculous she must look, cool again. “Agree to disagree,” she says. “I get your point, however, and we can just put an end to our arrangement and seek other accommodations for our incompatible needs.”

“I didn’t say they were incompatible. Stop putting words in my mouth. I’m just saying you acted like a bitch that next morning and you trying to pretend you didn’t fully participate is bullshit.”

“I understand.” She turns back towards her computer, trying to shut him out. “But it sounds like we are not able to come to terms on this so termination is our best and only solution.” Her guts feel like they’re eating themselves as she says this and her hand is trembling. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Roman walks towards her in four big steps, swiveling her chair back towards him and leaning over. He is quiet this time, his voice so low she might have missed it under the hum of the air conditioning in the ceiling.

“That’s not going to work for me because all I can think about right now is how much I want to fuck that bitchy little mouth of yours.”

Gerri’s breath catches and she’s thankful she is sitting down, certain her legs would have given out otherwise. “I don’t think so,” she manages to choke out. “You haven’t earned the right, Roman.”

“Uhu. I am going to fuck your mouth so hard that you choke on my cock and then I’m gong to come all over your smug face.” 

She tries to force out a refusal but instead she makes a strained whimpering sound and a look of victory settles in his eyes. He leans in closer, his hand pressing up beneath her skirt, without any hesitation. To someone walking by it would just look like he was leaning over to look at something on her computer monitor, not that there is really anyone left around to see it. Instead he runs his fingers up her thighs, swiping her underwear out of the way, his fingers delving into her slit and caressing her.

“You’d like that, wouldn't you? You want to lay there with your body so heavy you can barely move and your mind too scattered to focus. You won’t be able to stop me when I open your mouth and ease myself into you. Your mouth feels so fucking good, Gerri.” His thumb is on her clit now and two fingers are eased inside of her, scissoring open and shut, trying to touch her in all the right places. “I am going to love the sounds you make as I thrust into you harder and harder, over and over again.”

Gerri makes another noise, maybe it’s a moan. She’s trying to tell him not to stop, to keep going, that she's close. He chuckles, his finger now firmer on her clit.

“Maybe a noise just like that one. One that says you love me using your mouth like that, that you want me to take you however I want as many times as I want. It’s going to feel so fucking good as I watch my come paint your face. You’re going to look so fucking slutty and I love that I’m the only one who knows that. Knows what a needy little slut you are and how you want nothing more than to be fucked by me.”

She squeezes her thighs around his arm, silently begging him to continue. She can’t remember the last time she was this turned on, this desperate to come. 

“Please,” she manages to say. “Roman.”

He laughs again, rubbing his finger over her twice more and she’s so close she can taste it, her release ready to boil out of her body. But then he forces her legs apart again and pulls his hand out. 

She makes an outraged sound, unable to believe what just happened, wild with the terrible need to come. What the fuck is he doing?

He holds eye contact as he licks his fingers. First his thumb, then sucking both of the other two fully in his mouth, driving them in and out several times. There’s something about that, watching him sucking his own fingers that makes her even more crazed. She’s a full lunatic at this point, imagining what it would look like to watch Roman sucking a cock. Maybe her cock. A big thick cock she buys just for him. She can force it down his throat, choke him out, make him cry with lust. And then after he begs and sobs, she will ease it into him, fucking him hard and fast and deep as he looks up at her, wrecked and slutty and desperate for her.

He swirls his tongue around his fingers a few final times and then pulls them from his mouth with a pop, wiping them against his pant leg. He leans back over her again.

“Do not touch yourself, Gerri. I fucking mean it.”

She is recovered enough now to scoff at him. “And who is going to stop me? You?”

“Uhu,” he confirms. “I need you to stay this fucking needy so when I come over tonight and take your mouth and then maybe your cunt or your ass, you will be dying for it.” Her voice catches and she presses her thighs together. He catches her doing that and smirks. “Maybe I’ll do all three even. I will fuck you over and over again in whatever damned way I want. And you are going to be so fucking grateful to me for giving it to you that you will do absolutely anything I ask you to. You’ll be so fucking rabid and slutty for my cock, Gerri, that I can do whatever I want and you will fucking love it.”

She manages to slow her breathing, her thighs quivering as she presses them so tightly. “What do you want to do?” Her voice is high and breathy, everything tight and tense in her entire body.

He laughs again and stands upright, taking a step back from her. “I want to stay over after. I am going to sleep in your bed and when we wake up tomorrow you are going to say good morning and kiss me all soft and sweet because you are so goddamn grateful to me for how good I fuck you.”

Gerri’s mind frantically tries to formulate a retort but with all of her energy focused between her legs, she’s too slow. Roman turns and walks calmly towards the door. At the last moment he turns back.

“Don’t forget what I said. If you get yourself off, I will know, and I’ll be so disappointed in you, Gerri.”

“Oh, would you have to spank me?” Her brain finally kicks into gear and the retort would have been decent if she didn’t sound like she was turned on as fuck.

“Fuck no. You’d like that too much. See you tonight.”

He lets the door close gently behind him.

Chapter Text

It’s the same as every other time. Key in the door, shoes off, quietly creeping down the hall. He lingers longer in the doorway though. He listens to her breathe, needing to be sure she really is out, that there won’t be a repeat of the last time. This approach feels delicate, almost like to a trapped animal, and he isn’t sure if she would attack or succumb if startled. Best to play it safe and not have to find out.

After he left her office earlier he’d gone straight into the bathroom and dry-heaved over the sink. He doesn’t know why he said what he did. Probably some combination of fury, foolishness, and his extreme and uncontrollable desire to fuck Gerri Kellman in any way she will let him. He’s fortunate she didn’t kick him out. Or tell him to fuck off. Or break every single one of his fingers for having the audacity to touch her. Pinky, ring, middle, pointer, thumb: Five clean and satisfying snaps.

Ugh. 

Hot.

He was tempted to jerk-off, to release some of the unendurable pressure that had built in his body, but decided to save it all up for that night instead. It wasn’t hyperbole when he said he was making it a long one. He had plans and didn’t want anything to derail them, least of all his own stamina. 

When he’s certain she’s asleep he enters her room and strips off his clothes as he always does, placing them on the same chair. He stops and twists open her blinds. Not all of the way, but just enough that some light from the street can filter in. It leaves everything a muted gray instead of a deep, dark black.

He slips into bed with her, his cock almost instantly hard just from the smell and warmth from her body. He feels a shiver run through him as it occurs to him again just how much he has come to need this, the feeling so urgent most of the time that he doesn’t know what would happen if she were to end this thing, to make all of it go away. The desire might actually kill him.

Fuck. 

He never, ever thought this would happen for him, that he would actually want someone. Not like this. Not in a way that felt like it would gobble him up, every single piece of him utterly consumed by his lustdesireloveobsession for her.

Fuck.

She is on her back and he carefully folds down the blankets, watches as her nipples pebble from the sudden chill. He runs his tongue first over one and then the other, the softness and the taste of her skin sending his blood into a furious surge. 

He can’t wait. He needs to have her. Now.

He knows he’s supposed to get her off first, should be lowering his face between her legs. But…. he can’t wait. Not even another minute. He runs his fingers through her. She lubed herself up ahead of time. Always so efficient and clever. 

Fuck, he loves her so much.

He hoists himself over her, pushing in slowly to ensure he won’t hurt her. She moans a little, not in pain, he thinks, but not fully in pleasure yet. He means to be slow. He means his strokes to be gentle, long, and deep. But he can’t control himself, from the very first feel of her, he’s in a frenzy. He pushes her legs wider, driving himself in and out and in and out.

She moans again and this time it’s definitely the good kind, that sound the most beautiful fucking tune he’s ever heard. He forces himself to pull out. It’s probably the hardest goddamn thing he’s ever done. He needs to come, feels like he might die if he doesn’t, but goddamn crap fucking hell bullshit, the rules. The fucking rules.

He scoots down further on the bed and drops his mouth to her, and she jolts, gasps, trembles at the first touch of his tongue. He can’t wait much longer, may actually go fully insane, so he laps at her furiously, going straight to three fingers inside of her, rubbing her insistently, desperate to make her come.

It feels like it takes an eternity, the slow wind up, the seemingly endless hover right at the precipice, but the second he feels her break, he’s pushed back up onto his knees and driving into her. He’s incoherent from the mind-bending pleasure of the whole thing, babbling nonsensically, grinding into her so relentlessly that he loses his breath. 

He comes inside of her, the idea of filling her up with himself making him that much more crazed, his fingers digging into her hips as he streams into her over and over again.

He rolls off to the side after, breathing heavily, needing to catch his breath. After a moment she lets out a light snore, her head rolling in his direction, eyes still gently closed. If she had been awake before she isn’t now.

Roman maybe also dozes off for a smidge. His body feels so relaxed after all the hours of tension from earlier that his eyes drift shut and his mind slips away. When he wakes back up, maybe a half hour passed, maybe three hours, he has no idea, his blood is instantly raging, and all he can think about is having her again. 

He strokes his cock gently as he remembers their conversation from earlier, how she looked like she wanted to swallow him whole as he described all of the things he wanted to do to her. He thinks about her mouth, about fucking it roughly, but determines it has less appeal when she isn’t awake and glaring at him like she might bite his dick off at any moment. 

He pushes off the bed, opening her nightstand drawer to find lube and does a double take at what looks to be a drawer full of sex toys, just barely visible without light. Fucking hell, she is such a kinky damn bitch. He grabs the lube and pulls a couple of toys from the drawer, examining them in the dim light. He flicks one on, watches as two little nubs at the front vibrate and the thick shaft makes a twisting thrust. Oh, he likes this one very much, an explosion of absolutely fucking filthy thoughts galloping through his head.

He grabs a pillow, propping it up under her, tilting her hips up towards him. She doesn’t seem to react much. He squeezes lube onto his fingers, rubbing it into her cunt, feeling the slickness of his come still in there, then using first one, then two, three fingers into her ass. Opening her up nice and wide for him. Finally, he lubes up both the vibe and his cock, staring at both trying to work out the best way to achieve what he has in mind.

He rests the vibe on her stomach, pushing both of her legs open and back, bending them slightly at the knees. At that angle he is able to slide his cock into her ass, biting back his groan as he suddenly remembers how fucking amazing she feels. He strokes in and out several times, getting a little bit deeper each time. Her breathing gets a little faster and she seems to be at least a little awake, holding her legs open for him. He picks up the vibe, switches it on and, with his cock still seated firmly inside of her, he teases it at the opening of her cunt, running it up and down a few times, before sliding it into her.

Gerri gasps and her eyes seem to open for a moment. He’s almost afraid she is going to safe word him, telling him this is all too much. But as quickly as they seemed to open they shut again, and he takes that as a sign to continue. He presses the vibe in deeper, making sure to let the front pieces land on either side of her clit and she moans at the contact, spreading her legs further.

He pulses the vibe at first, leaving it deep inside of her but swirling around. He can feel it on his cock and it’s almost too good. He pulls out a bit so he can’t feel it as much, but can’t fucking help himself, thrusting back into her and making bigger strokes with the vibe as well. He alternates thrusts, the vibe in her cunt, his cock in her ass, switching back and forth between the two over and over again.

As her breathing gets louder, her hips rocking against him and the toy, he starts thrusting together, the sensation on his cock unspeakably amazing with the vibe also inside of her. He angles it a little steeper, trying to maximize her clit stimulation, really fucking concerned that he might get there before she does. He pulls out again for a minute, tries to catch his breath, just wants to let the vibe do its thing. She whines at him though, makes a frustrated noise. 

He pulls the vibes out, runs it over her clit several times before dipping it back into her, fucking her fast and hard. He can tell she’s close. Can tell from the way she’s breathing and the way she’s starting to grip the vibe from the inside, her body closing around it. When he’s sure she’s close he pulls the vibe out again, hears yet another frustrated whine from her, but slides back into her ass, pounding into her three times roughly before thrusting the vibe back in as well, fucking her as hard and as good as he can with both.

Fuck, he can’t do it. He can’t hold on anymore. It’s too fucking good. There aren’t even words for what this feels like, everything inside of her so tight around him.

But then it gets even better, her body spiraling around him like a boa constrictor and squeezing, squeezing , everything inside her pulsing and dragging his orgasm from him. 

There is no way he could have resisted. Nothing, nothing , NOTHING, has ever felt like this before, the feeling so intense he has to shut his eyes, can’t control how loudly he cries out, his entire body shaking. Her orgasm seems to go on forever and he can’t even make sense of what is happening, just knows that her body has sucked him in and won’t let him go, is going to wring every morsel of pleasure from him first.

When his head finally clears, her body now limp and spent, he becomes dimly aware of how wet everything is. She must has squirted again which is so fucking hot that he has another mini orgasm just thinking about that happening. He pulls out of her and slips out the vibe. He catches his breath before going into the bathroom to get a towel and to drop the vibe in the sink.

Back in the bedroom he cleans her up as best as he can, tries to roll her off the wet spot but eventually gives up and just does what he can to spread the towel under her. 

Utterly exhausted, he lays down on the mattress next to her, flat on his back and stares at the ceiling. 

Fuck.

Just…fuck.

This has to be unusual. It has to be. Sex cannot possibly be this fucking amazing for normos. This is some special brand of kinky, mind-bendingly sexy fucking that only will work for the two of them. Right? 

Right?

Fuck.

He falls asleep pondering that question.

The next morning

Roman is surprised to find that he wakes up first. He rolls onto his side and looks at her. He watches her chest rise and fall with each breath, her eyelids fluttering delicately. Her nose crinkles adorably sometimes, probably a dream that delights her somehow. Hopefully a dream about him. Her hair is tangled and messy, fanning across the pillow, puffs of yellow floss so bright against the white of her sheets.

He does this for a long time, over an hour, just watching her. Finally, her eyes ease open and fall dead onto his face. He can see a weariness there that he does not like.

He doesn’t wait for her to say anything, leans over and kisses her, sucks her tongue into his mouth, palms her breasts, nips her lip. When he pulls back to look at her some of the shade has lifted in her expression.

“What do you say, Gerri?” He prompts and waits. She rolls her eyes at him and huffs. Before she can do anything else, he climbs over her, grabs both of her wrists, suddenly pulling them above her head and holding them against the mattress. He leans down to kiss her once more, briefly and gently this time.

“I’m waiting.” He stares her down. She makes a movement like she is considering trying to break her wrists away from his hands, but then decides not to. She finally closes her eyes and a slight grimace crosses her face.

“Good morning, Roman.” She sounds irritated and bitchy and god, he is fucking in love with her. He won’t say it yet. Will find a way to make her say it first. Maybe when she’s so well fucked her brain barely works.

He leans in to kiss her once more, her wrists still pinned, and he lets her be the aggressor this time, her tongue rubbing against his. 

“Was that so hard?” he asks when they’re done. 

“You’re such a child,” she admonishes, her eyes still shut tight, but he can see the smile she’s fighting as it threatens to spread across her face.

“Uhu,” he says, kissing her again. “But I fuck you so damn good you’ll put up with it.”

“Maybe,” she says. “Or maybe…” 

She lets her voice trail off.

“Maybe what?” Roman asks. 

“Maybe.” She pauses again, opens her eyes and stares at him. “Maybe you need a turn next time.”

“Oh yeah?” His voice cracks as his cock hardens against her leg. Well well well, isn’t that just a fucking genius idea.

“Yeah.”

“What does that look like exactly?”

“Maybe you go to sleep. A nice and deep sleep.”

“Uhu.” He’s riveted. Hanging on her every word.

“And maybe I have a turn to fuck you this time.”

Roman’s heart beats wildly and then lodges straight into his cock, the idea of what she might be suggesting so fucking hot he might explode. He clears his throat.

“So, I go to sleep and how do you fuck me exactly? Like, you get me hard and then ride me cowgirl style? Or.” He’s afraid to say it.

“Or.” Gerri leans up and kisses him again, sinks her teeth into his lower lip hard enough that it stings. “Or, I fuck you. I open you up and I fuck your tight little ass until you come all over both of us.”

Roman can’t say anything. His chest is tight and his face is hot and flushed. 

Fuck.

“Would you like that?” Her tone is sweet and falsely innocent, her eyes coquettish as they look up at him with heavy lids. 

He nods. Still can’t find his voice. Can imagine it though. Can imagine waking up to the feeling of her thrusting into him, her hand wrapped tightly around his cock. 

Being utterly fucking destroyed by her.

Yes. He nods again and she smiles slowly, knowingly, with intent.

Yes, he would really, really, really fucking like that.

Chapter Text

Since Roman is new to this, they have to experiment for several weeks. They discover that Valium makes him puke. Xanax isn’t any better and Gerri has to change the bedsheets twice in one night before Roman finally ends up lying on the bathroom floor in the fetal position clutching his stomach and moaning for hours. It’s worse than having a baby in the house and there is no way Gerri is dealing with that bullshit again. So, pharmaceuticals are completely ruled out.

Thankfully, they somehow hit on edibles and that seems to get the job done. He has about twice as many as he might normally take and it sends him under so very completely. When Gerri is able to nudge him just out of the deepest sleep, he surfaces gently and everything around him has a shimmery and wavering glow to it, like he’s having the best and most magical dream. It’s perfect for what they are going for.

The first time they get the elements on the sleep component right, Gerri strokes him to hardness, her hand now completely familiar with the exact right pressure and speed to make him breathless in a matter of seconds. Her exhale is ragged as she slowly lowers herself onto him. She never expected to like this so much. She holds a small vibrator against herself as she grinds on top of him. She knows she should be more concerned with whether he’s enjoying this, whether his dreamy blissed out brain is enjoying being fucked this good by her. 

But she doesn’t.

Instead she just uses him, fucking herself hard, deep, and fast as the vibe brings her to orgasm faster than she would have anticipated. By the time she comes back into herself, he has finished too but she was too wrapped up in herself to even notice when it happened.

They practice the other thing too. She buys him three different sized plugs, moving him up in sizes over the course of weeks. She makes him wear them around the house and a few times to the office. Watching him squirm in his seat in meetings gives her so much of a thrill that it’s embarrassing. She should not feel that turned on whilst sitting two feet away from Karl, but the flush on Roman’s cheek and his sinuous movements as the metal presses deep into him, the passive pleasure mounting until he looks like he’s about to come in his pants right in the boardroom, nearly leaves her panting. 

On one of those days she can’t control herself after watching him for over an hour. The sexual pleasure on his face is unmistakable, at least to her eyes, and her cunt is practically throbbing the entire time. Right after the meeting she pulls Roman into the washroom attached to her office, hiking up her skirt, pushing off her underwear as she shoves him down onto his knees. He’s gotten so good that after her third orgasm she rewards him, letting him fully fuck her right there, up against the wall, her nails digging into his scalp, their mouths suctioned together to absorb their screams. 

“You are the freakiest bitch and I fucking love…it.” He says this after as they straighten their clothing and he trips clumsily over the last word. She smirks. He’ll eventually slip up and say it for real. It’s just a matter of time.

And, if he keeps all of this up, all of the things that are making her crazy with lust for him, her heart sometimes overflowing with an emotion that feels distinctly like…well, maybe if he does, she’ll say it back.

They make a plan to finally combine the two activities that Friday night. They have dinner together as they almost always seem to lately, and Roman has his edibles after, dozing off on the bed, fully naked and tucked under her quilt, within minutes. Gerri reads for a bit, checks her email, and then gets herself off twice using her favorite toys. She’s tempted to use Roman like she had the last time, to fuck herself so dirty on him that she loses herself, until they’re both wrung out from it…

No, she needs to be patient. 

So, she gets herself off one more time for good measure and then goes in search of her harness. It’s black, lace trimmed, and crotchless. He won’t even see it so the way it looks is more for her than him. She puts on her sexiest black bra as well and then attaches the dildo she brought for him. She is starting on a smaller size, five relatively narrow inches, but can’t wait to go bigger. That’s assuming he can take it, of course. She stares at herself in the mirror and likes what she sees, the lingerie stark against her peachy skin, her cock hanging hard and powerful between her legs.

She is really, REALLY, really going to enjoy fucking him.

She crawls onto the bed next to him, running her hands up his thighs, over his stomach, kissing along his neck and his jaw. Sometimes she wishes she didn’t find him so fucking appealing, but she really fucking does. He’s so handsome that sometimes it stops her in her tracks to look at him, the lines of his face so perfect that all she can think about is tracing along his bones with her fingers so she can commit every single detail of him to memory.

Things seem off though as she starts to touch him elsewhere. She lubes her fingers up nice and good before she starts to work on him so she can’t imagine that anything hurts. Yet, even asleep, Roman seems uncomfortable , his head thrashing from side to side as she works a finger into him.

He gasps when she adds a second, not in a good way. It sounds an awful lot like he’s been unpleasantly surprised. 

Gerri runs her hands over his thighs, hoping that it’s soothing, hoping that he can calm down. She kisses his face again, sucks on his neck, lightly runs her fingers down over his cock. When he seems to settle, she tries again, first one gentle finger and then a second…but it’s still not quite right and when she goes to a third, his eyes fly open.

“Gerri.” He mumbles her name. “Stop.” It’s not their safe word, but he’s out of it and maybe doesn’t remember. She stills her hand, waiting to see what happens. When his eyes slowly close, and his breathing deepens, she experimentally works on him again, but his eyes reopen immediately and his voice is firmer. “No.” 

Gerri pulls her hands back and holds them up. “I’m stopping.” He pushes himself up and she can see that he’s groggy but awake. “I’m sorry if that was not what you wanted.”

“No. I don’t know.” He shakes his head, rubs his fists against his eyes. “Give me a second. I’m still so…” He takes a few deep breaths and he looks marginally more alert when he starts speaking again. “I do want it. I really want it. But I think I want to be awake during?” He looks at her for approval, to see if she can be on board with this suggestion.

“I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable,” Gerri finally says. “You seemed to not enjoy that and if you want me to stop, I can.”

“No, please. I do, I just want to actually experience it, not to be so out of it.” 

“So you want to just stop the sleeping stuff at this point?” She tries not to feel disappointed, knowing that if she wants to be with Roman, and fuck it all to hell, she thinks she actually does, that maybe she won’t be able to have him and also the excitement of knowing that sometimes when she’s too sleepy to even try to stop him, he uses her body in whatever filthy, depraved ways he can dream up.

“No, no. that is the hottest fucking shit of my life, knowing that you are using my stupid little dick to fuck yourself so good whilst I’m passed out. You don’t even have to ask, just do it, I promise I am completely fucking down. I just don’t want to do that at the same time?” He says the last part like a question and gestures at her harness.

Gerri hesitates but needs to ask the next question to know what she’s dealing with. “What about the rest? I mean when I’m asleep and you’re deciding what to do.” She holds her breath waiting for his answer.

“I fucking love that too. Tied for number one. Or maybe it’s number one and a half. I will do that any fucking time you let me…or, do we consider that you not letting me? Either way, yes please, I would like some more.” She smiles at that, relief coursing through her. She didn’t know what she would have done if he had forced her to choose.

“So, everything we’ve done to this point is good, but this next thing is only an awake activity?”

“Yes.” Roman’s answer is clear and confident and Gerri feels a pang of something like admiration. She’s fucking proud of him for telling her what he wants and she feels absolutely fucking ridiculous. “I want to be awake. And, maybe we can do it now?” He brushes his lips against hers, his hand drifting down first to fist the cock attached to her harness, running his hand up and down the lubed surface, and then lower to brush against her. She tries not to shiver as his finger passes over her clit, still sensitive from all the earlier play.

“Yes,” Gerri says. “We just have to be careful and you have to tell me if you want me to stop. Are you sure you’re awake enough?”

“Uhu,” Roman says, his fingers still working on her. “I’m really fucking awake now.” She tuts at him, removing his hands from her. 

“You can’t even keep your hands out of my cunt for more than three seconds. If you can’t behave yourself I will have to find a way to make you.” Roman’s eyes fly to hers, the excitement on his face unmistakable. “Oh, you like that? Do you want me to tie your filthy little hands up since you can’t keep them to yourself?”

“Fuck,” Roman sounds breathless as he lays back down, looking up at her as though she’s some sort of goddess. “Could you? I can definitely do that. ” 

Gerri heads into her closet, pulling out an excruciatingly expensive scarf she was given as a gift years ago but never wears because it’s ugly as sin. The silk is cool and smooth in her fingers as she walks back. He looks so eager and Gerri realizes that maybe this can be just as good too. She can make this work.

“Hands up,” she barks and Roman quickly raises his arms above his head. Gerri roughly pulls them together, wrapping the scarf tightly around his wrists. She stops to check that he’s ok, makes him wiggle his fingers and then ties the whole thing to one of the posts on her headboard. She steps back to admire her work and she can’t believe how fucking sexy he looks like this, laid out just for her, completely at her mercy, his eyes absolutely begging her to do whatever she wants.

She climbs back onto the bed on all fours and leans in to kiss him, her tongue rubbing over his bottom lip and then his upper so many times that he starts to whimper in frustration. “Gerri,” his voice is shaky when she pulls away. “Can you?”

“Can I what?” She sits back on her heels, running one finger lightly up and down his chest. “What do you want me to do?”

“Whatever you want,” he says, his words turning into clipped moans when her finger trails down to circle the head of his cock. “I want you to use me however you want to. Please.”

Gerri makes a humming sound like she’s thinking things over, but lets her fingers drift even lower, running lightly over his ass. She lets just the tip of it dip in for a moment, relishing the way he gasps, his back arching, his arms pulling at his restraints. “Do you like that? Should I do more of that?”

He doesn’t answer her, just moans again and spreads his legs wider. Gerri spreads more lube onto her fingers, taking a moment to reapply to her cock, then running her fingers over him. “Is this good?” Her voice is quiet as she nudges into two fingers, circling him gently, rubbing against him. “Do you like it?”

“ Yes. ” He cries out a little as she uses a third finger, opening him up so nice and perfect for her, loving the pitch of his voice as he writhes in front of her. It’s one she’s never heard from him before and something about it is sending waves of pleasure right to her cunt. She’s regretting not buying one of the dildos with the built-in vibrator for her. 

Maybe she will get one for the next time, she thinks.

No, definitely for next time, she corrects herself.

“Do you think I should fuck you now?” Her voice is quiet and she is watching as the waves of pleasure lap over his face with each thrust of her fingers. “Are you ready for me?”

He nods frantically, his voice seemingly caught in his throat. Gerri positions herself, careful to insert just the very tip at first, her hands on his thighs, holding him open for her. “This good?” He nods again, his expression tense and anticipatory, but opening up into deep and surprised pleasure as she thrusts into him. 

“Gerri,” he moans. “ Fuck.” It’s the last words he manages to say for a long time, his utterings nonsensical after that as she fucks him deeper and harder with every thrust. 

Fuck, he’s just so beautiful, she thinks to herself, sexy and eager and slutty and totally and completely hers in every fucking way.

Gerri leans further over him, her chest pressing into his body as she fucks into him. The pitch of his moans change again and she can tell he likes it so she pushes into him harder, her skin caressing his, her cock stimulating him in just the right way. She knows she should wrap her hand around his cock, should help alleviate some of the pressure and urgency she knows he’s feeling but she wants to keep doing this more, to see him like this, fully surrendered to her, letting her be in complete control of his body and when he gets to come.

“Do you need me to touch you, Roman? To touch your cock? I bet it’s so painful right now. It’s so hard it hurts, doesn’t it?”

Roman nods, his face tight and Gerri pulls almost all the way out of him before thrusting back in and the sound he makes is so hot that she does it again and then again, thrusting in and out of him in long, hard strokes, so vigorous that her abdominals start to burn from the effort. It’s worth it though, the sounds he’s making and the way he’s looking at her through mostly closed eyes, the most gorgeous thing she’s ever seen. She leans up to kiss him again, wanting to taste his soft red mouth under hers, but she bumps his cock on the way, trapping it between their bodies. 

It’s apparently enough and his face opens wide, a long, deep cry flowing straight from his gut as he comes on both of them, his warm, sticky spend, bathing both of their bellies where they are pressed together. 

Gerri waits for his breathing to even out. It’s still fast, but is more even, before she pulls out of him. She walks into her bathroom, removes the harness and cleans herself off. She then wets a washcloth with cool water, running it over his warm, flushed face, before wiping the come gently from his stomach.

She unties the scarf from the bedposts but doesn’t undo where it’s looped around his wrists. She lies next to him, pressing herself up against his back, her arm wrapped tightly around his chest. 

“Your arms are free when you’re ready,” she whispers. “You can just pull to get out.” Roman nods, lowering them from above his head but not pulling them apart yet. She strokes his chest and kisses the side of his face, keeping her touch light.

“You ok?” She waits several minutes to ask. Roman seems to shake himself out of whatever state he was in, pulling his wrists apart and turning to look at her.

“Holy fuck, Gerri. Just. FUCK.” He pulls her head to his, kissing her so fiercely that their teeth clang together and his tongue stabs into her mouth. “I was going to make you say it first, but I really fucking love you. I can’t not tell you anymore because I just love you so fucking much. You don’t have to say it back, but…”

“No.” She lays her hand on his cheek. “I do, though. I love you too.” Roman looks at her in surprise and then grins, his expression both dopey and fantastically endearing.

“Of course you fucking do. How could you not?” 

Gerri laughs and fists up her hand and lightly punches him in the stomach. “Well, maybe I don’t anymore now that you said that.”

“You do.” Roman’s voice is confident and sure. “You fucking love me because we are weird and fucked up in ways that fit perfectly together.” He kisses her neck, inhaling her deeply, his fingers finding their way to run over her slick flesh.

“I guess I do,” she breathes, relieved to finally have him touch her there. “And fuck, why is this so good with us? It’s so good , Roman. Maybe too good.”

“It’s never too good,” Roman insists, circling her clit with his thumb, one finger working inside of her. “And it can always be better too.”

“Oh yeah?” Her hips press into him, urging him to go harder and faster. “How can it get better?”

“I have some ideas,” Roman says, leaning up to her ear. He sucks on her earlobe briefly, running it between his nearly clenched teeth. 

And then he tells her what he’s thinking. He whispers his most secret and private desires softly into her ear, the suggestions so delicious, so sexy, so fucking wrong , that she almost comes just from hearing him.

“Roman.” Her voice is strangled with desire, with heat, with want , but she tries to sound scolding anyway. “That’s all so fucking sick…even for someone like you. ”

“Uhu,” Roman says, sucking on her ear again, his fingers rubbing her just exactly right, her orgasm about to crest, to rip through her body and all because of him and what he can do to her. “It’s so depraved that it’s fucking perfect for us.”