Chapter 1: index
Summary:
Instead of having a million tags or not knowing which tag goes with which drabble, here's an index with ratings and some brief associated tags/summaries.
Chapter Text
Chapter 1: wedding / Teen And Up Audiences / meet-ugly, best men get it on
Chapter 2: snuggle / General Audiences / pov Patrick, fluff
Chapter 3: echo & cozy / General Audiences / kid fic (as in they are kids)
Chapter 4: fresh & frozen / General Audiences / implied mcd, angst
Chapter 5: necklace / Explicit / sex toys, hand job, come marking, pov David
Chapter 6: lamp / General Audiences / AU, agent!Patrick
Chapter 7: canvas / Mature / spanking, pov David
Chapter 8: explain / General Audiences / humour, Patrick babysits
Chapter 9: rain / Explicit / blow job, shower sex, pov David
Chapter 10: glitter / General Audiences / Patrick as Hedwig
Chapter 11: scuff / Teen And Up Audiences / Emcee!Patrick, David is thirsty
Chapter 12: flower / General Audiences / fluff, Patrick's birthday
Chapter 13: exciting / Mature / Patrick bottoms for the first time, pov Patrick
Chapter 14: spin / General Audiences / fluff, husbands
Chapter 15: blue / Teen And Up Audiences / vampire!David
Chapter 16: chartreuse / General Audiences / bartender!Patrick
Chapter 17: hot pink / Explicit / Patrick in lingerie
Chapter 18: wine / General Audiences / humour, fluff, husbands
Chapter 19: gold / Explicit / fisting
Chapter 20: wood / Mature / David is thirsty, woodchopper!Patrick, shower sex
Chapter 21: brown/ General Audiences / fluff, David loves Patrick
Chapter 22: cedar / General Audiences / pining!Patrick, a wild Jake appears
Chapter 23: oil / General Audiences / alternative meeting, mechanic!Patrick
Chapter 24: salt / Mature / blow job
Chapter 2: wedding
Summary:
AU, meet-ugly?
Chapter Text
“Fuck I can’t believe I’m such a cliche. The best man and man of honour reduced to baser instincts, unable to control their lust and sexual tens-”
“Do you ever shut up?”
“Um, rude.”
“Obviously not that uncontrollable if you’re still talking.”
“I just didn’t think I was so weak minded to hook up with a cocky finance bro.”
“Cause you’re such a catch with your neurosis about flower arrangements and candle heights.”
“Ok, curating a sophisticated wedding is complex and Alexis deserved the best. Not that you’d know sophistication.”
“So are we fucking or not?”
“I’m here aren’t I?”
Chapter 3: snuggle
Chapter Text
It always felt like a chore, in the before. The role he self imposed as protector. It was how good boyfriends acted. Years of watching his mother tucked safely into his father’s arms taught him that. Rachel’s tiny body pressed against him humming contently while his mind raced with not right left his body itchy and unsettled.
“Ok honey, snuggle time.” It’s said not without a hint of playful derision, his husband’s mouth twists to the side but his eyes are bright with love.
Patrick curls his body up small as strong arms encase him. He hums, boneless and content.
Chapter 4: echo & cozy
Summary:
bb Patrick and David
Chapter Text
“They’re being awfully quiet in there.” He can’t see the living room from his spot in the kitchen but he can picture the boys arguing over the movie, cosy in their sleeping bags.
Marcy grabs the popcorn with a little chuckle. “It’s a nice change from their screams echoing around the house earlier. I don’t recommend being cooped up on rainy days with those two. You’re lucky you had work.”
Clint laughs and gives her a wink. “Ok kiddos, what’ll it be tonight?”
“Lion King, Dad!”
David eyes the popcorn and reaches out with grabby hands. “Thank you Mama Brewer.”
Chapter 5: fresh & frozen
Summary:
a lil angst/vague MCD
Chapter Text
David freezes in the doorway. Patrick’s here. Impossible yet undeniable. He looks fresh faced and so beautiful. Eyes bright and clear; gone is the morphine induced haze of drowsiness and pain. Gone too are the chapped lips, gaunt cheeks.
“Patrick, what-“ David’s knees give out and the sofa catches his fall.
“Wanted one last goodbye.”
David feels the hot tears spill over as he struggles to breathe, sobs catching and suffocating him on every inhale.
“You’re so loved and so strong baby, don’t forget that.”
A faint tickle of air brushes his lips. When he opens his eyes he’s gone.
Chapter 6: necklace
Chapter Text
Patrick’s knees are digging into his ribs as he rocks frantically against his chest overstimulated between the vibrator inside him and David’s hand tight around him.
“Fuck, Patrick. Give it to me. Please, all over,” David begs.
Patrick’s groan comes a second before David feels the first warm splash hit his throat followed by several more.
“Mmm, of all the jewellery I’ve ever owned,” David moans, fingers sliding along his collarbone, “this is my favourite.”
Patrick snorts out a laugh sliding off his chest dramatically and bouncing onto the mattress. “I design each one with only you in mind babe.”
Chapter 7: lamp
Chapter Text
David runs through the darkened park heading towards the lamppost, anxiety mounting.
“Rose, if you insist on my help, least you could do is pay me the courtesy of being on time.”
Relief settles his pulse but quickens again at the sight of him leaning against the pole looking smug and self assured, his coat collar turned up obnoxiously.
“I’ll pay you with cash. Saudi Arabia. Get her out.”
“Please and thank you’s wouldn’t go astray either, handsome.”
“Please take this cocky attitude and go save her. Thanks so much.” He won’t be goaded into bed with this man. Again.
Chapter 8: canvas
Summary:
A lil spanking
Chapter Text
He sits back on his heels and exhales deeply. The room feels charged and hot, an oscillating fan cooling his sweaty back. David’s eyes roam over the kaleidoscope of colours before him. Blood red crimson and blush pink, layered over mottled purple from an earlier session. Pale strips of milky white beg to be marked.
His hands are still tingly as they sweep lightly over the surface of his work. It’s overwhelmingly warm to the touch. Soft, yet firm. Painful in outcome, yet lovingly executed.
Of all the surfaces David has created on, Patrick’s skin is David’s most cherished canvas.
Chapter 9: explain
Chapter Text
David stops short at the entrance, taking inventory of the scene before him. Bottles are tipped over on the table, his meticulously folded throws in complete disarray and inexplicably, there’s a trail of baby carrots on the floor. Patrick emerges from the backroom looking frazzled, Rollie Jr on his hip.
“Ok, before you say anything let me explain,” he pleads.
“This better be good.”
“Rollie made himself a little snack with the carrots…and edible lube.”
A snort.
“It’s not funny David! I told you the packaging was misleading. He wouldn’t let go and he’s surprisingly nimble, the little Schitt.”
Chapter 10: rain
Chapter Text
His knees are aching from the tiles, there’s water up his nose and soap in his eye, but all David wants and needs to focus on right now is Patrick. His low moans reverberating around the shower. The salty bitter taste of him faint on the back of tongue; his thick, unforgiving length hitting the back of his throat. He doesn’t stop the loud gurgle of his gag. Patrick loves pushing him to his limits.
“That’s perfect baby,” Patrick praises, “always such a good boy for me.”
David moans in contentment as the water continues to rain down on him.
Chapter 11: glitter
Notes:
Hedwig!Patrick
Chapter Text
“Get over here quickly.”
Patrick’s solid form presses David into the couch aligning hips and hearts, his lips kissing his neck in hello as still damp curls tickle David’s ear.
“What’d you think?”
“You were transcendent. It was beautiful. You were beautiful.” He feels Patrick’s body melt with relief. He nudges until he can see his face, still baring traces of black eyeliner, blue glittery eyeshadow and rouged lips.
“Hey, you’ve got this. JCM himself couldn’t do better. And my god Patrick, your ass in those leather shorts. Fuck.”
“So, I’m ready for opening night?”
“You’re ready for Broadway, honey.”
Chapter 12: scuff
Chapter Text
David’s been struck dumb. He knows Patrick was apprehensive waiting for David’s critique, but all he can do is stare at him mouth agape.
“Some words will be great David.” His voice is tight but David’s attention is torn between the kohl around Patrick’s eyes and the elastic accentuating his more than generous bulge.
Patrick shifts in his scuffed boots, quads tensing below the hem of his shorts. “It’s a little ridiculous isn’t it?”
“The only thing ridiculous here is how good your cock looks and how it’s not fucking me right now.”
The tension shifts. “Get on the bed.”
Chapter 13: flower
Notes:
If you're following along, this is the last of five new chapters 😊
Chapter Text
Amid the chaos of The Birthday, Patrick will never forget David’s ‘flowers are for you’. After David left, he trimmed the stems of the bouquet and placed them in a pitcher. Sitting on his sofa, ignoring the difficult conversations to come, he stared at the first flowers he’d ever received from anyone, let alone a boyfriend, and felt so loved.
“Sweet peas for my sweet P.” David places the delicate ruffles into the vase Patrick keeps on his bedside table before getting back into bed, kissing his cheek. Five birthdays on and the feeling of love and joy still blooms.
Chapter 14: exciting
Notes:
Patrick POV
Chapter Text
There’s a rush of heat so intense lava could be coursing through his veins right now. Hands smooth and supple, yet decidedly large and masculine weigh heavily on his chest, restricting and grounding. Distantly he notes his moans and gasps are loud and glorious, uninhibited and unrelenting.
“David…can’t believe…oh fuck, you feel so good.”
He has never felt this before. This all encompassing burning desire for another person. Their heat around him, inside him; stoking the fever that’s been building with anticipation and excitement all day. The white hot peak of delirium crests as he clenches and comes.
Chapter 15: spin
Chapter Text
Patrick doesn’t even realise what he’s doing until David places a gentling hand on top of his, stilling his movements.
“Everything ok honey?”
It’s a new unconscious habit he’s picked up since the wedding. Middle and pinky fingers working in tandem, spinning the gold band between them.
“You gave me this ring.” He stares at their hands, rings aligned.
“I know I was there. Seriously, are you ok?”
The past week is catching up to him, crashing landing in his heart.
“You’re my husband,” he breathes.
David’s face softens with understanding, eyes bright. “You’re my husband, and I love you.”
Chapter 16: blue
Summary:
Colour prompt: Blue
Notes:
Bringing this back for the Schitt's Creek Monthly Drabble Challenge. Thanks to AWorldOfDreams for organising!
Chapter Text
The stocky man had been defensive—fists raised, eyes blazing. But now he’s a limpet in David’s arms all heaving breaths and rapid heartbeats, pupils wide with fear as he struggles to fight off the Compulsion.
He smells delicious.
The thick blue vein is stark against the milky white column of his throat, bulging and ripe for the taking. The sweat he licks up is salty, tainted with terror, panic, disbelief and the long finish of confused arousal.
David smirks.
With honed precision his fangs pierces yielding flesh and the loud carnal moan from his victim drowns out David’s own.
Chapter 17: chartreuse
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“…only three monks know the 130 ingredients. Amazing, right?”
David catches the end of Patrick’s chatter mesmerised by his hands as they work. There’s a gold band, new, on his finger. His heart skips.
“Hmm?”
“Chartreuse, you asked how it’s green. Am I boring you?”
Patrick’s never boring, he’s captivating. He treasures the nights he sits here watching him work.
Not tonight. He downs his drink, signalling for the cheque, the alcoholic burn nothing compared to the fire within him for this man out of reach.
With a wink, Patrick drops the bill.
on the house, see you at home.
Notes:
My fingers started typing a 'bait and switch' while my brain quickly realised how dumb that would be to do in 100 words, so I hope this make sense.
Chapter 18: hot pink
Chapter Text
Against their ecru sheets it’s garish and gaudy, but he’d conceded to Patrick wish to do this without his input and well…there’s no denying the contrast against his pale skin is exquisite.
Patrick’s unsteady breaths are loud and vulnerable but David can’t look away from the heavy mass of his fat cock, barely contained in hot pink lace, curving along his groin. It’s obscene. Mesmerising. Glorious.
“Sweetheart, you look beautiful.”
Patrick’s cock jerks and precome starts to bleed through the fabric.
“I did okay?”
“So okay. I’m going to fucking ruin you.”
Patrick keens loud and desperate. “Please, David.”
Chapter 19: wine
Chapter Text
“Do you think he’ll notice?”
Stevie’s raised eyebrow has him sighing.
Resigned Patrick wrings out the wine-stained sweater.
“This is your fault,” he accuses.
“Fuck off. Why were you wearing his sweater anyway?”
“I miss him. You’re the one that knocked the wine.”
“David, what's this?”
David eyes the jersey Patrick pulls out from his suitcase with a grimace, one sleeve hanging by a thread.
“It’s your baseball costume?”
“Why is it—”
“I’m sorry! I knew I was going to miss you so I took it but it snagged on a hook and…why are you laughing?”
“Well, funny story…”
Chapter 20: gold
Chapter Text
One by one David’s gold rings tink into their dish spiking Patrick’s nerves. Next the snap of the bottle cap cuts off his deep exhale.
“Just like we talked about,” David reassures, before two fingers breach him.
Time moves molasses-like, discomfort easing to pleasure until toomuchtoomuchtoomuch.
“You’re so good, baby. Nearly there.”
Instead of coherent words a helpless whine escapes as David’s knuckles press against his stretched, sensitive rim, intimidating and impossible.
Until it isn’t.
David’s fist finally settles inside him, overwhelming and huge.
“Patrick?”
“K-keep going.” His voice hitches, his muscles spasm, before he loses all sense of himself.
Chapter 21: wood
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Servicing the fireplace was top-priority before their late-Autumn settlement. David pictured couch-snuggling and wine-flavoured kisses in front of a romantic, crackling fire.
What he hadn’t envisioned were crisp mornings when hollow thuds lured him from bed and soft grunts welcomed him onto the porch.
Mesmerised, he’d watch thick cords of muscle on Patrick’s forearms tense, his upper arms thicken, those commanding broad shoulders twist as he raised the axe before swinging down, splitting the wood logs effortlessly.
It’s therapeutic, Patrick had said. David’s therapy is their shower afterwards, those arms wrapped around him from behind, crying out on every thrust.
Notes:
Sometimes I feel like I toe the line with my drabble word counts by the amount of hyphenated compound words I use. This chapter in particular 😅😂
Chapter 22: brown
Notes:
Two fills for brown? Who knew brown could be so inspiring.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Obviously, your favourite colour’s black.”
David sits up abruptly. “No it’s not.”
“What is it then?”
“It’s…” he trails off, embarrassed by the truth.
Does he admit that it was black but a boy in shades of brown had turned the drabbest colour into the most beautiful? It’s the colour of leather oxfords that walked into his chaos with a matching briefcase holding his dreams. It’s the kaleidoscope of brown found in his husband’s eyes that see into his heart, and the mess of curls that tickle his neck.
Sensing his hesitation Stevie rolls her eyes. “It’s blue isn’t it?”
Notes:
Ok, I know Patrick's lil pad folio is black, but let's just ignore that shall we?
Chapter 23: cedar
Notes:
Another one? Maybe, like David, I too like brown now.
Chapter Text
Patrick closes the curtain with a deep breath. Some guy, some handsome guy just walked in and kissed the man he’s been crushing on for the past two months. He feels so foolish. David’s never even mentioned dating anyone.
“Have you had anymore problems handling your wood?”
Patrick’s eyes bulge, cheeks flush, as their voices travel into the back. He sounds so confident, sexy. Patrick has no chance.
“Nope!” David sounds nervous. Maybe there’s hope.
“Well let me know, I’d love a repeat.”
The curtain flings open as the doorbell rings.
“He helped me build a cedar chest!”
“Okay, David.”
Chapter 24: oil
Chapter Text
Avoiding an oil slick, David stomps into Bob’s Garage. Heavy rock is blasting through the space and the dank smell of the garage is mixing unpleasantly with cheap aftershave.
Oh god, has Bob finally lost it?
“Yeah Bob?” he directs to the legs underneath a car. “This is thrice now I’ve had to come back with a broken AC?”
No answer.
“Um, hello?”
There’s a laugh before very-much-not-Bob rolls into sight and David chokes on air. Not-Bob is young and fit with gorgeous curls and bright eyes.
Reaching out with a heavily tattooed arm he smirks. “Not Bob, it’s Patrick.”
Chapter 25: salt
Summary:
Another blow job drabble? Sorry, David's hungry.
Chapter Text
David’s tongue trails over Patrick’s twitching abs until he reaches the patch of curls at his groin then pulls away.
“Nooo,” Patrick whines, hands starting to reach out but stops when David shoots him a glare, obediently returning his hands into his own hair.
“Good boy,” David whispers as he scoots down, resuming his taste test along Patrick’s body.
The crease of Patrick’s thigh is sweat-sticky; the skin thin and delicate under his tongue. Patrick mews as David laves over his swollen balls before engulfing his leaking cock. Salt and lust flood his mouth as he hungrily swallows around him.