Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Get up.”

Those two words freeze me in place. Or maybe it was him. I can’t tell anymore.

“Lord Vader-“

“I said get up, Third Brother.”

I slowly try to rise from my kneeling position, but the pain is too much. Its too fucking much!

“I can’t! My arm!”

“It is only an arm. Get up and fight.”

NO! NO MORE! PLEASE!

“WHY LORD VADER? WHY?!”

My outburst does nothing. Nothing I do seems to affect him.

“To teach you the most important lesson you will ever receive.”

“And…and that is?”

My master says nothing. All I can hear is the sound of his mechanical breathing that are as chilling as the cold in his dark presence.

The sound of his breathing is interrupted with the reignition of his crimson blade.

“Loss.”

My eyes snap open and I lunge forward from the bed, heart racing and my breaths rapid. The reality of my situation returns to me as I frantically look at my surroundings: A familiar wooden desk at the edge of the wall at the front, a small crate at the right side of the bed, and the old, claustrophobic wooden walls that surround me in a square-like prison.

It was just a dream.

It was just a dream.

It was just a dream.

I’m not back on Coruscant. I’m not back at the headquarters.

I’m not back with him.

I bury my face into my palms and ever so slowly drag them down my cheeks gently.

Instead of flesh that greets my cheeks it is metal.

Before me are two lifeless grey cybernetic hands that stretch down all the way to my elbows.

If only they were just as fiction as my dream.

Knowing full well that I am not going back to sleep I rise from my bed, put on my coat, and walk outside my…home.

The cold air hits my face almost immediately as the stars in the night sky shine their brightest. I’m not surprised it’s still night out. I can barely sleep as it is.

I look around the village that I have settled in. It’s not that big. Just a few huts and houses neatly spaced out from one another. Large fields of yeast surround us like a battalion. And yet it is silent. Not a single trace of life is outside.

Good. No-one to bother me. That was the sole reason I chose this insignificant moon of Raada, after all. That was the reason I chose to be a mere farmer despite my…history.

“You are an agent. A tool. A servant of the Sith. You would be wise to remember that, Third Brother.”

His voice still remains. He still won’t leave me.

Neither would his punishments.

My cybernetic arms were just the beginning. That wasn’t the only thing I lost.

As I glance down, I hope for a brief, brief, moment that my legs were flesh and blood like my arms once were.

They aren’t.

Just as my arms were a cold, metallic steel, my legs were no exception. They were heavy, made a lot of noise when I walked, and was a constant reminder that I am basically half-droid.

Just like Vader is.

Snapping out of my self-deprecating thoughts, I continue down the path to my intended destination. It was the same place I always go to. Every single time I have dreams like that, the tree is there waiting for me.

There, on a small orange hill, lies one large tree. Its trunk was as clean as it was smooth, and its leaves were orange flames that moved calmly in the freezing wind. Reaching to them, I am greeted with the breath-taking sight of the open orange field under the starry night sky, the moon shining down on us all.

I take a deep breath as I close my eyes, ridding myself of all my thoughts. Ridding myself temporarily of those awful memories.

All I can hear is the light breeze of the leaves. Nothing else. For now, I am at peace.

Six months. It’s been six months since I arrived on Raada. Since I became a farmer. It’s not the most active lifestyle but is calming. Peaceful. Comforting. Simple.

And “simple” is especially what I need.

Releasing that breath I have been holding, I can feel all the stress and intensity leaving my body like water going down a drain. I feel brand new.

Well, I did what I came here to do. I really should get back to sleep before I have to get to work.

Taking one last look at the sight before me, I begin my trail back to the village.

Back to my simple life. A simple life for someone definitely not simple.

As it should be. It’s better this way.

I’m better like this.

The rising sun brings its heat upon the farmers of Raada as we begin our work for the day. It’s not even mid-day and the high temperatures are already apparent.

Admittingly, when I chose this back-water world in the Outer Rim I hadn’t expected how hot it was going to be. If I wanted to be boiled alive, I would have picked Tatooine.

It could be worse, but it definitely could be better.

On the bright side, the work isn’t too tedious. Repetitive? Sure. But tedious? I don’t think so. Most days involve me plucking roots, forming cubes of wheats, and placing them on a carrier to be taken away. From what I heard it gets taken to be used by the Empire and one of us is given our credits to spread out among the rest.

It may not pay much but it’s honest work and honesty is hard to come across these days. That is pretty hypocritical coming from someone who uses the fake name “Galen” but that doesn’t count. I’m an exception. I have good reason to lie about my identity.

I don’t pay the other farmers around me any attention as I pluck the roots and food from the ground. I never do. While the others often chat whilst doing their work, I am silent like a loader droid. I send the message clear: “I don’t want to talk, and I don’t want to be talked to. I just want to work.” Fortunately, they got the message. We only talk if its work-related.

I continue plucking the vegetables from the field. Thanks to my cybernetics, I find the task much easier than the others. I get it done quickly.

I could get it done even faster if I used the force but that would go against my whole “I need to hide” motive. So, I have to deal with this.

“Hey, Galen!”

Fuck sake.

Two pairs of feet enter my peripheral vision at the corner of my eye as I continue with my task.

I recognise the voice. Kaeden Larte, I think.

“Mm?” I hum, as I pluck the roots like nothing is happening.

“A new farmer joined us today!” she tells me, her voice giddy and excited.

A new one? Well, more workers mean our lives get easier.

“I see.” I reply, my tone clearly expressing my disinterest. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

“Well, are you going to say hello?” she asks me, clearly sounding slightly frustrated.

I sigh heavily and raise my head to look at Kaeden, only to see someone else behind her.

The woman is a togruta and she looks to be around my age. Her eyes are an entrancing ocean blue that shined in the sun, with her lekku having that same spell-bounding colour. Her face featured meticulous and imaginative white markings, highlighting her eyes and brown lips even more. Her arms are crossed as she looks at me, wearing a typical farmer get-up.

Interesting.

I get up from my kneeling position and rub the dirt off from my clothes. Once I finish, I look at the new farmer face to face.

“My apologies.” I calmly tell her. “I was unaware the new worker already arrived.”

She raises an eyebrow from my words, her features expressing hesitation. “Well, here I am.”

Her voice is light and delicate, but her tone contains a hint of annoyance rubs me the wrong way. I slightly frown in reaction.

Kaeden, unaware of the tension between us two, gestures to both of us, a big grin on her face. “Ashla, meet Galen. Galen, meet Ashla!”

Ashla? Unique name.

This “Ashla” person shifts from her hesitated look to a more neutral expression as she raises her hand for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you.” She says, her tone also neutral.

I take her hand in a handshake with my right hand. Her eyes seem slightly shocked as she sees my cybernetics but continues shaking anyway, her grip strong.

“Likewise.” I simply respond.

After shaking hands, a little longer than necessary, we let go. I glance back at the pile of roots I plucked behind me. I really should get back to work.

I turn back to Kaeden and Ashla. “It was nice seeing you two, but I really should get back to work.”

Not waiting for a response, I bend down and pick up the pile and begin walking away. Finally, I can be alone agai-

“-Galen, wait!” Kaeden bursts out, touching my shoulder.

Hissing from the touch, I shove her hand of my shoulder. “I thought I told you not to touch me!”

Kaeden stands back slightly, her hands in the air. “Sorry, sorry!” she apologises, clearly sounding genuine. “But I was hoping you would show Ashla the ropes and such.”

What?!

My eyebrows instantly shoot up, my eyes wide. “Come again?”

Kaeden gestures to Ashla with her hands, the latter’s eyes also wide. I guess she is just as surprised as I am.

“Well, it is Ashla’s first day and she needs to know how we operate and stuff.” She explains. “And you’re one of the best farmers here so I was thinking she can shadow you while you do your own thing.”

Oh, come on. Please, no.

“Farming isn’t complicated, Kaeden.” I sternly tell her. “I’m sure Ashla will learn quickly.”

However, just before I begin walking away, Ashla slightly steps forward.

“Shouldn’t you be nicer to your co-workers?” she tells me, a frown present.

What the fuck?!

I snap back to her, leaning forward and glare right into her eyes. “Shouldn’t you be getting to work?”

She leans closer. “I can’t because some asshole is preventing me from doing so.”

My frown increases. “What happened to be nicer to co-workers?”

“You’re an exception.”

We’re having an intense standoff, our eyes gazing right back at each other with a furious heat.

Kaeden chuckles nervously and at the corner of my vision I see her slowly walking away. “Okay, you two look like you are getting along well! I’ll leave you to it! See ya!”

NO!

“KAEDEN!” both Ashla and I shout at the young woman, but she speeds off around the corner, leaving us alone.

Shit.

We both look back at each other, the tension faded away for now.

Well, I guess I have to deal with her for the day.

I sigh heavily and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Let’s just get this over with and you can work on your own after this.”

“Couldn’t have put it better myself.” She cheekily responds.

And that’s what the entire day was. Just me showing her around, how we worked, and how we get paid. Thankfully, she didn’t give me any lip after our heated argument. She kept her mouth shut and only spoke when I asked if she understood what I said.

By the end of it all Ashla just walked off to where Kaeden was. Not even a thank you. Ungrateful, arrogant, snarky, brat!

Whatever. It’s done. I don’t need to entertain her and Kaeden anymore. I can continue working by my lonesome.

As I walk back to my little home, however, I can hear a distant chatter between the two women. Their words were unrecognisable, at first, but as I get closer to my destination, I can hear one of them mentioning my fake name.

“So, how was your first day? Did Galen show you everything?”

I stop dead in my tracks.

“Yeah, he did. He was fine.”

“Just fine? Didn’t sound like you thought he was “fine” when I was there.”

“He was being rude to you. I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing.”

“You’re sweet but it’s fine, really. That’s just how Galen acts.”

“He’s like that all the time?”

“Since he started working here six months ago.  He likes to keep to himself despite my efforts.”

“He shouldn’t be rude to you, though.”

“He’s not rude. Just a bit distant. He doesn’t like it when his work is disrupted.”

“Hm.”

“As long as he works, we just accept it. It also helps that he’s one of the best farmers around here. Probably due to his arms.”

“Do you know how he got his…?”

“Arms and legs? No clue. We don’t ask. Not since when he snapped at one guy for asking about it. Can’t say I blame him, though. Whatever happened must have been traumatic. It looks like he walked away from a battle in the Clone Wars, if you ask me.”

“I see.”

The topic is quickly changed afterwards but I am still rooted in my spot. Do the other farmers really see me like that?

I scowl instantly at that question. Who cares what they think of me? I do the work; I help out when I’m needed. What the others think of me is of no importance. Especially not Ashla’s.

I don’t know why I singled her out amongst the rest, and I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter anyway.

I’m better off on my own.

Like always.

Chapter Text

A few months have passed. Little has happened. Work has continued as usual.

Ashla has seemed to settle quite well. She’s quite an efficient farmer as she’s getting all her work done surprisingly quick. Not as good as me though.

We’ve barely spoken since her first day. Our exchanges afterwards are simply work stuff like “Pass me this” or “Where’s the loader?” Stuff like that. Most of the time, though, I’ve seen her glaring at me whenever I walk by her. Can’t blame her, though. I do the same. I don’t know WHY she gets under my skin so much. What’s so special about her?

There’s one thing about her that has peaked my interest, though. Whenever we have our lunch break, she most of the time sits by herself. Much like I do. Seeing her in a similar position to myself was…weird.

Though, despite this, its clear she isn’t AS isolated as I am. There are times where I walk by her with other farmers, often next to Kaeden who seems to have developed a crush on her. Can’t say I surprised. Though it seems like the togruta is completely oblivious to her friend’s feelings. Typical.

However, like every social situation, there are always one or two people you will have a problem with. I’ve seen some rude stares at her, their eyes full of disgust, and not because of her behaviour. But because of her species.

Xenophobia has risen substantially during the Clone War due to most of the leaders of the Separatists being non-human. The rise of the Empire amplified this xenophobia intensely. I shouldn’t have been surprised that there is some of it on a peaceful insignificant moon like Raadus.

I don’t know why I’m so concerned about it. We have barely spoken since that day we met. She was an asshole to me. I don’t care at all.

Nevertheless, today starts off as usual. I walk to one of the big open fields and begin plucking roots once again, putting each and every vegetable in a basket in a fashion so routine and precise that the work could be mistake for that of a droid’s. At the corner of my eye, I see Ashla and another farmer working at a good distance from me.

Things go by normally for a few minutes. I’m nearly done with this task so maybe I can find Kaeden and her sister and see if they need any help. Or maybe-

“-Hey, watch it!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“-Shut up, bitch! You need to watch where you’re going!”

I shoot up at the commotion as I see Ashla and some farmer, whose name I forgot, up close with the latter pointing at her.

“Look, I said I was sorry.”

“And I told you to shut up!”

I can feel a pool of anger rising in my stomach

No, don’t. It’s not worth it.

It’s not my problem.

Just continue my work.

“I don’t know if you togrutas were born with defects, but you need to more careful!”

That’s it!

Rising from my position, I walk quickly to the pair. I can see the shocked face from Ashla at the farmer’s disrespect.

“Is there a problem here?” I ask them, announcing my presence. There’s steel and hardness in my tone.

The two snap their attention to me. I’m glaring right at the awful worker whose eyes begin to widen in fear.

“Galen!” the man speaks up, slight nervousness in his voice. “The togruta was being an idiot and-“

“Ashla has a name.” I growl out, anger dripping. “And I know full well what happened. I heard the commotion from where I was working.”

I place my right robotic hand on the guy’s shoulder and squeeze it a bit, sending a signal.

“I don’t care who was in the right.” I sternly tell him. “What I do care is you being incredibly disrespectful and disgusting to one of our co-workers. Ashla already apologised for her mistake and yet you still continued spouting your hurtful words. We’re adults. We’re supposed to be working and not treating each other like filth.”

I squeeze his shoulder slightly more and I can see the man, now slightly sweating, wince in pain.

“Am I clear?”

He shakes his head rapidly. “O-Of course! I’m sorry!”

Good. But not good enough.

I release his shoulder and cross my arms. “It’s not me you should be apologising to.”

Knowing what I meant, the farmer ducks in his head in shame and turns towards Ashla, who has remained silent. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

Tearing my attention away from the man, I finally glance at Ashla.

She’s staring at me. Not even paying attention to the rude man.

I don’t know how long she has been looking at me like that, but she seems to be surprised and…curious?

Finally, after a couple seconds of eye contact, she looks at the apologising man. “It’s okay.”

Satisfied with outcome, I slowly start to walk backwards. “Now we have reached a resolution, I must return to my work. Good day.”

It is not until I begin my work again is when I fully realise what I just did.

What the fuck did I just do?!

I mean, the guy deserved it, but I have never done anything like that!

What happened to ignoring it and continuing my work?!

Whatever, it’s over now.

I pack my vegetables into my basket and get up from my kneeling position, holding it in my hands. Looks like I got a good amount today.

“Thank you.”

I turn to the source of the voice.

It’s…Ashla.

She’s looking at me, ocean-eyes full of gratitude. I can see a tiny smile on her brown lips. It’s…nice.

…what?

Snapping out of my internal struggle, I shrug at her gratitude. “No need to thank me. Anyone would have done the same.”

Unexpectedly, her smile stretches and widens, and she shakes her head. “Not anyone.”

“Maybe.” I agree. “Still, no need to thank me for being a decent person. Just…be careful next time, okay?”

I walk away before she could respond. I can still feel her eyes staring at me as I continue.

Heat is in my stomach. But it isn’t uncomfortable. It’s actually…welcoming.

I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but Ashla is behind all of this.

I need to just stay away from her.

“ Do you know why I summoned you two?”

The voice of the Grand Inquisitor is full of confidence, power, and authority. Like he has the power of life and death over us.

He does.

“We do not, Grand Inquisitor.” I answer him, keeping my tone neutral. I must not reveal any sign of weakness.

The Pau’an hums in acknowledgment as he circles us, emphasising his authority. “I am sending you on a mission. A Jedi has been reported.”

A chuckle emits from the side of me.

“Good. It’s been a while since I’ve tasted Jedi blood.”

The Sixth Brother. Tall, lanky, and wrapped in a dark, imperial cloak. His face is shrouded by a mask designed as a ghoulish skull. It is made to imitate the intimidation and strength our leader has.

But it is all looks. In actuality, he’s nothing but a pathetic excuse of an inquisitor who is desperate for a reward from his masters.

Some inquisitors are the same, but Sixth is easily the worst in this regard. It also doesn’t help he is the most arrogant of us all.

I know I’m not the strongest, I have the huge scar on my back when I tried to duel the Grand Inquisitor to prove it, but I am definitely better than him.

Which is probably why our leader tasked me to lead my very first mission. He doesn’t trust Six to do it by himself. The thought makes me smug.

“Don’t let your pursuit of blood cloud your reality, Sixth.” I tell him, voice stern.

He turns to me, the tiny crimson eyes in his mask glaring at me.

“Third Brother is correct.” The Pau’an speaks up again, taking back control of the conversation. “It has been a year since the Emperor’s purge of the Jedi Order. While the religion is in tatters, its surviving members are still many. It is our duty to finish what Lord Vader started.”

The mention of our Sith master sends a shiver down my spine. It’s been a few weeks since what he did to my arms and legs. I can still remember the pain I felt when his blood-red blade sliced down upon me. I must not fail him.

“The reports tell us that a single Jedi has been sighted on the world of Daiyu,” our leader continues, “I am sending you two to its capital city where you will locate and eliminate them. Do not disappoint me.”

I bow in submission, showing my obedience. “It will be done, Grand Inquisitor.”

Before I can leave, however, Sixth speaks up.

“With all due respect, sir, but I don’t believe Third Brother is up to the task. He is still new to us. He’s a novice.”

Anger boils inside me as I get up right to his face, my teeth grating. “I am more than qualified for this mission, brother. I am far stronger than you will ever be.”

A mechanical grow emits from his mask as he leans forward. “Your arrogance will be downfall.”

“Look in a mirror, Sixth.”

“Enough.” The Grand Inquisitor commands in a powerful voice, preventing the situation from escalating. “This petty squabble is irrelevant. This mission will be the opportunity for Third Brother to prove his usefulness to the inquisitorius. You will go to Daiyu and execute the Jedi. Are we clear?”

Reluctantly, I look back at the Pau’an, the man’s golden eyes gazing into mine.

“Yes, Grand Inquisitor.”

My eyes snap open as I leap forward from my bed, sweat on my face.

Dammit. Another nightmare. Or memory. Whatever. Time for the usual, I guess.

As always, I swung open the door and I am not surprised that it is night out.

As always, I walk across the usual path that leads me to my comfort zone

As always, I finally reach to the top of the hill and see the calming tree and-

-I stop dead in my tracks.

I rub my eyes to make sure that I’m still not dreaming.

I still see her. I still see the figure of a togruta standing alone in the darkness, not moving an inch.

“Ashla?”

She startles in reaction to my voice, obviously surprised to hear another presence, and turns her head. Her ocean-blue eyes are shining with curiosity and her face and lekku are touched by the moonlight.

She’s beautiful.

…what?

“Galen?”

Her voice is delicate. Soft.

“What are you doing here?” I ask her, getting close to her at the edge of the hill.

She turns back to the breath-taking view, avoiding eye contact. “Had a bad dream. Decided to walk around until I stopped here.”

Vague. But enough.

“And you?” she asked, slightly turning her head towards me. “You weren’t stalking me, were you?”

I hear a slight tease in her tone of voice.

“No.” I reply. “I have much better things to do.”

I hear a quiet chuckle from her in response. She doesn’t say anything else.

We stand in silence for a few short moments. It is simultaneously welcoming and dreadful. I must admit, I’m surprised to hear she came here for the same reason that I have. It seems like I’m not the only one plagued with nightmares of the past. I can feel deep sympathy wash over me.

She told me her reason. Might as well give mine.

“I’m here for the same reason as you.” I tell her. “Had a bad dream. I often come here to clear my head.”

My heart jumps when I realise what I just admitted. Shit. Maybe she didn’t notice?

“You have bad dreams often?” she asked loudly, clearly surprised.

She noticed.

I grunt and look to my right, determined to not reveal anything else.

Dammit. This is why I don’t do this kind of thing. The moment you open your mouth they want to know all your dirty little secrets. Why did I-

“-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have. You don’t have to tell me.”

What?

I snap back to her, eyes widened, and now this time it is Ashla who is avoiding my gaze.

She…apologised to me? And it sounds…genuine.

I can’t remember the last time someone genuinely apologised to me.

“It’s okay.” I eventually reply, not knowing what else to say. “I…I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

A hum is her response. Nothing else.

We both gaze at the large open field that is before us. As always, I am amazed by its beauty. It’s heaven-like. It’s perfection. But somehow with someone else, with Ashla, it feels even more…comforting. More…enjoyable.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” I blurt out, my thoughts becoming my speech.

“Yeah.” Ashla replies. “It is.”

I don’t know why but I continue, revealing more of my mind’s secrets. “I remember the first time I saw all of this. I was new, didn’t know anyone, was unsure of myself. I had a terrible nightmare, and I was sweating. I can still remember my heart beating faster than a ship travelling at hyperspeed. I remember running and running and running until I stumbled onto here. Seeing this tree, this view, felt like a warm hug. The nightmare was long forgotten in an instant. I never seen anything like it. Having been born on Coruscant, a world devoid of nature, it took my breath away.”

I freeze as I finish my monologue.

Shit. I wasn’t supposed to reveal I was from Coruscant. If anyone asked, I was planning on telling them I was born on Cato Nemoida.

“You’re from Coruscant?” she asks, intrigued and…shocked.

Shocked?

“I am.” I respond. “Lived in Level 1212 until I moved here.”

Not a lie. I did live in that level before the Grand Inquisitor found me as a homeless orphan living on the streets. When I learned I had the force, and after ages of learning how to partially use it, I was able to steal food and money until it eventually alerted the inquisitors. I’m not ashamed of it. I had to do anything in order to survive the lower levels of the former Republic’s capital world.

It was certainly much better than my time at the Inquisitorius.

“You moved from the capital world of the Galactic Repub-Empire to-“

“-to a backwater moon like Raada?” I interrupt. “Yeah, I did. You sound surprised.”

“Well, not everyone would move from a core world to an Outer Rim moon.”

“I’m not everyone.”

“I can tell.”

Rage fills my gut as I hear her response. Is she making fun of my arms and legs?

“Because of my cybernetics, right?!”

“What?! No!”

“Don’t lie!”

“I’m not! I promise!”

I gaze into her ocean-blues, fear and concern swirling in them.

“What did you mean then?”

She hesitates for a split second before finally responding.

“I meant how you act. You don’t act like everyone else.”

What?

Using the force, I can sense she is telling the truth. Which is strange. Everyone else would have meant my arms and legs.

I guess she isn’t like everyone else too.

“I can say the same with you.”

She leans back slightly, eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

Honestly? I don’t know.

“You act quiet, do the work, and eat by yourself most of the time.” I start with cautiously but slowly growing more confident. “You want to be just like everyone else. But you aren’t. I don’t know what. I don’t know how. But I know there is something different with you.”

Ashla’s tense posture relaxes, and I see her mouth open agape in surprise.

But I continue.

“There is especially something different about you because you are the first person who has made me act irrationally. Like this morning when that bastard was being awful to you. I don’t know WHY I intervened. Why, you?! Was it because you’re new? Was it because you reminded me of myself? Was it because you’re the first person to talk back to me? I just don’t know! And it drives me insane!”

I go silent after my long rant, my cheeks boiling hot. I focus my gaze onto the ground, too scared to look at Ashla.

FUCK! Why did I do that? I NEVER do that! What the fuck did I just do?!

Ashla doesn’t say anything. She’s dead silent. So silent that it is terrifying. I keep my eyes on the grass below.

A light touch of a hand presses on my left shoulder.

When Kaeden touched me, I panicked. I immediately felt nervousness and terror consume me as I was brought back to Vader’s wrath.

But, for some reason, with Ashla, I feel…good. Her touch is delicate.

“Galen, look at me.”

Ever so slowly, I rise my head to meet her face. Our eyes lock.

“I’m sorry.”

Huh?

“You already apologised earlier.” I remind her, trying to keep my tone neutral. I am failing miserably. I can hear the slight shakiness with my own ears.

“No.” she says gently. “I’m sorry for having the wrong impression of you.”

“And what was that impression?”

Ashla bites her lip, obviously reluctant on telling me. I quickly glance at the action and notice how soft they look.

“I thought you were just an isolated jerk.” She shamefully admits. “But, over the months, I noticed that we aren’t really that different. And then you helped me earlier today and what you said further confirmed to me that you are not that. Not at all.”

She’s being truthful. I can feel it in the force.

“And…what am I?”

Slowly, a smile forms on her brown lips. “I see a kind soul who is afraid of opening up.”

“I can say the same for you.” I tell her, completely blunt.

Surprisingly, she chuckles at my honesty. “I guess so.”

I smile at her. A real smile.

We are both alike. Maybe, just maybe, I could give this friends thing a shot.

“I think I am tired of being afraid of opening up. I think I could use a friend.”

I raise my right hand, my palm open.

“Hello, my name is Galen. Nice to meet you.”

Ashla smiles back and takes my hand, her grip strong.

“Hello, Galen. My name is Ashla. It is nice to meet you too.”

We shake hands as we stare into each other’s eyes, our happiness present in our smiles.

Eventually, however, we end the handshake. But the contact was slightly longer than necessary.

“We should probably head back to the village.” The togruta suggests, tilting her head to the side.

“Yeah, we should.”

Neither of us move.

I would like to have more nights like this. Maybe…

“Actually…”

“Yeah?”

“I…wouldn’t be opposed to having more nights like this.”

“Neither would I.”

“Good. Do…do you wanna work together tomorrow too?”

“That would be nice.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

We walk back onto the path, smiles on both of us.

When I went to bed, my smile was still present.

I have a friend.

Ashla is my friend.

The thought gives me warmth as tiredness overwhelms me.

Chapter Text

Life continues on as normal after that.

Well, almost.

I have been hanging out with Ashla a lot more since that meeting. More often than not we spend nights at that tree on the hill. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don’t. Regardless of if speech is involved, the mere presence of the other is enough to create an atmosphere of warmth and content. Something I think both of us haven’t felt in a long time.

Our meetings at night have translated into the day. We’ve been working together on the farm so frequently that even Kaeden has sent us bizarre and shocked looks. Can’t say I blame her, given the togruta and I’s tense first meeting.

I, too, am shocked. Normally I preferred doing work on my own since I thought having another would slow me down. And yet…her and I work very well together. In fact, we work faster than I normally do by myself. We even chat as we do our tasks about any topic we can think of.

Its…it’s really fun.

Fun. I never thought I would have that again.

If only fixing the broken loading carrier platform that is carrying the hay was just as fun.

“Karabast.” I mutter under my breathe as I check the wiring and components of the machine. It’s a mess. Wires short circuiting, parts are scattered and stuck in random positions. How the hell did this happen?

“Something wrong?” a gentle voice asks, amusement in its tone.

Ashla.

I turn to the source of the voice to see my friend, hands on her hips and a smirk plastered on her face.

I give her a smile back and point to the platform with my spanner. “One minute this bantha poodo was working and the next it just died. The insides of it look like someone threw up.”

She walks to the broken carrier and kneels next to me, examining the mess before us.  She frowns very slightly and a small pout form on her lips.

“I think I can fix it.” She slowly said as she continues to examine it. She raises her arm and opens her palm toward me, silently asking for the spanner. I pass it to her, and she begins her attempt to fix it.

Huh.

“You didn’t tell me you were a mechanic.” I state as I watch her work. Her moves are precise, calculated, not a hint of hesitation or sign of uncertainty.

Her frown deepens slightly in response to my comment. “My brother was good at fixing things. Rebuilt a protocol droid when he was a kid. He taught me when I was younger.”

Ashla had a brother?!

“You have siblings?” I ask her, my curiosity rising.

For the first time since she started working, she pauses for a moment. She continues immediately afterwards as if nothing happened. I noticed it, though.

“Just one.” She says in a neutral tone. She then glances down slightly, sadness filling her eyes. “He’s gone now.”

I can feel my heart ache as she finishes her sentence. “I’m so sorry.”

Ashla quickly makes eye contact and gives me a small sad smile and gets back to fixing the platform. “Thank you.”

I give her a sad smile of my own. “Don’t mention it. I know what it’s like. I lost my parents when I was ten years old. Gunned down by a mugger. Been an orphan ever since.”

It’s true. I remember the evil grin on a Zabrak crook as he shot my parents without a second thought. He didn’t have to. He already took their credits and yet he still snatched their lives away. I remember the all too familiar fear that was consuming my entire form as I saw and heard the blaster shots piercing the chests of my mother and father. I remember the rage I felt when their lifeless bodies landed on the stone ground. I remember the hatred of the man that took my parents from me and imagined snapping the monster’s neck.

The next thing I saw was the Zabrak’s head twisting violently, unnaturally, all around to his back. A loud crack echoed throughout the ally. Then, without warning, he too fell to the ground beside my parents. Dead.

That was when I learned I could use the force. That was the first time I ever used it and it was to take a life. A life for a life.

For an instant, I felt satisfaction. The next? Horror.

“I’m sorry.” Ashla replies with genuine sympathy. We briefly lock eyes before she goes back onto the wires.

“It’s fine.” I tell her, shrugging in nonchalance. “It happened a long time ago.”

“I never knew my parents…”

“Oh, you and your brother were orphans too?”

“Something like that. Back on Coruscant we lived with a few friends.”

Wait…Coruscant?!

“Coruscant?” I ask her, bewildered. “You lived on Coruscant too?”

She pauses again. It’s clear she didn’t mean to reveal that bit of information.

After a moment of hesitation, Ashla yet again continues working. “Yeah. We lived on the surface.”

Damn. She lived on the top level.

I let out a loud, long whistle. “Impressive. Most impressive. Not any person can live a life on the surface without going into poverty.”

She hums in acknowledgement. “Our friends helped with the funding. We all lived together”.

“Seems pretty crowded. It must have gotten a little loud.”

“Sometimes. But it was fun. My brother and I hung out a lot with his best friend.”

“Sounds nice.”

I see a small smile growing on her lips. “It was.”

“It’s a shame, though.”

“What?”

“We could have been friends much sooner if we lived on the same level. I would have liked that.”

Once again, the togruta pauses. This time though, it isn’t out of discomfort.

Instead, she turns to face me, and her smile stretches wider. “Me too.”

We lock eyes. Ocean-Blue meets Forest-Green. We are entranced, spell-bound, frozen in this single moment.

Tension rises between us. Not the tension full of rage like our first meeting. A different kind.

Whatever it is, it is dragging me closer to Ashla. Closer to her face. I see her being dragged towards me as well until our faces are inches apart.

Suddenly, the platform reactivates and lifts upwards in its hover position, startling both of us and causing us to jump back a bit.

What the fuck was that?

I pay all my attention towards the platform, avoiding more eye contact with Ashla.

“Um, thanks.”

“No problem…”

I can’t recognise the tone of her voice. Surprise? Awkwardness? Disappointment?

“LUNCH BREAK EVERYONE!”

Kaeden’s loud voice fortunately ends that small awkward exchange and I rise up.

“Wanna eat together?”

She doesn’t respond for a few seconds. Until…

“Sure.”

As we both collect our standard food a drink, some porridge, and a glass of water, we begin to walk towards our usual eating spot by one of the wooden sheds. Neither of us say a word.

Seriously, though, what the hell was that?

Were…were we going to-

-No. We weren’t. Don’t get your hopes up.

Wait, hopes? I don’t have any hopes! I don’t even like Ashla like that! That’s just ridiculous.

I mean, she’s a good company. Since we became friends, we’ve been hanging out a lot more.

But that’s just it. Friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

She’s kind.

She’s calm.

She’s patient.

She’s funny.

Not to mention she’s beautiful.

…

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

This…this isn’t how things were supposed to go!

I came to this backwater moon to lay low, keep my head down, do my work, and rinse and repeat. Catching feelings for some random farmer was not part of the plan!

Then again, having friends to begin with wasn’t part of the plan and look how that turned out…

No! It’s better this way.

Besides, she probably doesn’t even see me like that. I’m lucky enough to have a friendship with her as it is.

Plus, she definitely wouldn’t see like that if she finds out who I was. If she finds out what I am.

Yeah. She would never see me that way. No-one would.

It’s disheartening but I’ve got to accept it.

I must accept it.

She’ll see me as a monster if she finds out. They all will. I can’t allow that.

“Ashla! Galen!”

The young voice of Kaeden snaps me out of my thoughts as the togruta and I turn to the source of the sound. I see the fellow farmer, eyes and grin bright as the sun, leaning towards us.

“Yes, Kaeden?” Ashla asks.

The younger woman locks eyes with her and I see a faint blush on her cheeks. “You guys should eat with us. Please?”

I resist a chuckle. Typical. She wants to spend time with her crush but doesn’t want to make it obvious by asking only her.

I glance at Ashla and see her glancing at me, silently communicating.

With a simple shrug, I silently tell her “I don’t see why not?”

I turn back to Kaeden. “Sure.”

“Yes!” she exclaims, throwing her right fist into the air. “Let’s go then!”

We meet up with the rest of the farmers with their own lunch, discussions, and debates amongst them like a storm.

As I sit down, Ashla to my right and Kaeden to her right, I notice the guy sitting opposite me was the same person who was being xenophobic to Ashla a while back. He notices me too as his eyes briefly widen before going back into his talk with their friends.

Good. Keep on talking. It seems like he’s learned his lesson.

I silently eat as I hear the discussions, the topics changing rapidly from the ridiculous “Who would win in a fight? A Gungan or a Duros?” to the serious and formal “Do you think our pay would rise soon?” and then back to “Okay, what about a Besalisk and a Zabrak?” Very interesting talks, let’s just say that.

And then…

“Have you all heard about the recent news on the Holonet? More and more Jedi are being hunted by the Empire.”

I freeze in an instant. The food and drink are forgotten.

Shit.

SHIT.

“Good riddance. Those traitors deserve it after trying to assassinate the Emperor.”

“I mean, they couldn’t have all been traitors, right?”

“Come on, Kaeden! Of course they were! Those monks were nothing but trouble.”

“No.”

WHAT?!

Everyone stops talking. They all turn to me.

Why the fuck did I open my mouth?!

The xenophobic farmer glares at me. “What was that, Galen?”

Fuck it.

“I said, no.” I tell him. “The Jedi may not have been perfect, but they were good people.”

He scoffs at my claim like I’m talking nonsense. “Good? They were nothing but obedient dogs for a corrupt senate. They made the Clone War worse than it already was. The emperor did good by killing them.”

“I sense someone far more powerful than you nearby. Where is your master?”

My grip on my cup tightens. “A lot of them were teenagers and children.”

“So?”

“A son.”

My grip tightens again.

“So, you think the murder of children is a good thing?”

My attention is focused solely on the cruel man opposite to me. I ignore all of the stares people are giving me. I don’t care.

“They were Jedi. I don’t see the problem.”

“GALEN!”

The sound of glass shattering fills my eardrums as I rise to my feet. A few of the farmers jump back in surprise, including the man I was arguing with.

That piece of shit! I’ll make him “see the problem” when I’m done with him! I’ll-

A gentle touch caresses my shoulder.

“Galen!”

Her gentle voice snaps my mind out of the rageful fog that I was residing in as I sink back into reality, into my surroundings.

I look at Ashla, who is still holding my shoulder. Her eyes are full of concern and worry. “Galen.”

Finally calming down, I look at all of the farmers with scared expressions. Even Kaeden looks slightly fearful of me.

I look at my metal hand, shards of glass from the cup that I easily shattered resting on my palm.

I…I lost control.

No.

No.

No.

No.

NO!

“I…” I start but trail off. What am I supposed to say?

What is wrong with me?!

“I’m sorry!” I say loudly, shoving Ashla’s hand away from my shoulder in a panic. In a blink of an eye, I start running and running and running far away from everyone.

“GALEN!”

Ashla calling my name doesn’t deter me. I keep on running. And running. And running. And running.

What is WRONG with me?!

“Citizens of Daiyu, listen and listen well.” I command the low-lives of the galaxy, their clothes dirty and ragged and contain a vile stench. Their eyes are focused on Sixth Brother and I along with our Purge Troopers, our own stares freezing them in their place. “We are the Imperial Inquisitors of the Galactic Empire.”

The Sixth Brother walks back and forth in front of me, studying each and every citizen. He is a hunter who thirsts for Jedi blood. I can sense his growing impatience. I can feel his desire to cause some pain. But he shall not unless I say so.

“We are seeking a dangerous enemy to us all.” I continue, my voice powerful and confident. “This is no terrorist or spy, but a devotee of the treasonous Jedi Order.”

The mere mention of the ancient religion causes a spike in fear. Fear in a specific location. They are here. I can sense it.

Sixth can sense it too as he starts slowing down. We glance at each other and we nod. We both understand.

“It has come to our attention that the Jedi currently resides amongst you all. They may look like you. They may act like you. They may talk like you. But they are not one of you. If you have any information of the location of the traitor, then you must disclose it now. Failure to do so will have fatal consequences.”

With a simple hand gesture, the Purge Troopers begin marching towards the citizens.

See, as the Grand Inquisitor has often said, the Jedi hunt themselves. They can’t stand and watch the lives of innocents suffer and die before them. They must act. They must save them. It is in their nature. They cannot help it.

“Where is the Jedi?” I demand, my anger growing.

Despite their growing fears, no-one says a word.

Admirable. But not desirable.

However, I sense a presence…from behind.

I smile behind my mechanical mouth-mask.

HAH! The Jedi seriously thinks they can surprise me? Me?!

Okay then. Let’s see if they has the courage.

“Very well.” I speak. “Troopers!”

They raise their blasters at them. The citizens gasp and scream in terror.

The presence is getting closer.

“Ready!”

And closer.

“Aim!”

And closer.

“And…”

“NO!”

Bingo.

In a flash, I spun around and ignite my crimson blade and block the incoming strike of blue. Through the sparks and blinding light of the mixture of flames and water I see the hooded Jedi. His teeth grated, his brown eyes gazing into my yellow pair, and his strength poured onto his blade. It does nothing.

“Your attack did nothing, Jedi.” I tell him proudly. “It is best you surrender now.”

Surprisingly, however, the Jedi doesn’t back down. “I don’t think so.”

Before I can ask what he means I hear the grunts and moans of the troopers as at the corner of my eye I see them flown against the wall, knocked out cold. The ignition of multiple blades follows soon after and in a flash, I see the Sixth Brother locked in a duel of his own with a female Jedi, her hair heavenly blonde.

Karbast! We didn’t think there was going to be two of them!

I glare at my attacker and push him back followed by a force push. He is flown back but quickly recovers and immediately begins charging at me. I rush forward and we enter a series of strikes, deflects, counter-attacks, a dance between red and blue. I try and strike through various positions from the near the head to as low as a leg, but he counters each and every one of them. I feel my rage and frustration growing at his defences which I use to fuel my connection to the dark side. They are a wellspring, and I must use it.

We lock blades yet again, our faces inches away. The fight can go anywhere.

“Kento! Now!”

Before I can fully process what the other Jedi meant, I am flown back with the force and impact with the hard-stone wall, the pain excruciating. I see the Sixth Brother flown back to a wall as well. Dammit!

Much to my surprise once more, the Jedi do not press their attacks. Instead, they flee as they leap to the roof of a building and run further north.

NO!

Using my pain to fuel my power, I rise to my feet. I glance at my comrade and see that, like the purge troopers, he is knocked out cold. Useless.

I don’t have time to wait. They are going to escape!

I leap to the roof of the same building, and I see the two Jedi in the distance and jump down in front of multiple ships. A docking bay! NO!

Transforming my fear of failure into anger of my fellow inquisitor’s incompetence and into hatred of myself, my power in the dark side rises to its highest heights and I rush as fast as the wind to the docking bay, leaping from roof to roof in a matter of seconds until I finally reach my destination.

Landing on the bay, I see the two Jedi about to enter a small freighter which appears to be a ST-70 class Razor Crest. Upon my descend, I attract their attention.

“Mallie, prepare the ship!” The man orders, marching towards me with his saber already ignited. “I’ll hold him off!”

His companion rushes to the ship while he stops a fair distance away from me in a fighting position. His body radiates confidence, but I can sense his fear. Fear that I can use to my advantage.

And yet…I sense something else. Something far more powerful than the two Jedi.

“You don’t have to do this.” The Jedi, Kento, tells me, trying to deescalate the situation like a true Jedi. Still trying to keep the peace.

But he’s wrong. I have to do this. If not, Lord Vader will make me wish for death.

“I wish that were so.” I tell him, igniting my own blade.

And once more we clash, the mixture of red and blue returns more vibrant and stronger than ever. This time, however, it will not end in a stalemate. I yet again transform my fear into anger and then into hate and unleash a tsunami of strikes from all sorts of directions, causing imbalance in my opponent. With one final swing, I knock the blade off the man’s hand and proceed to choke him with the force. He immediately gasps for air, hands to his throat.

“I sense someone far more powerful than you nearby. Where is your master?” I demand, raising my blade close to fearful man’s face.

Despite his lack of the air, the Jedi barely responds. “The dark side has clouded your mind. My master was killed long ago!”

That piques my interest. Once I deal with him and his partner, I will find the source of this power.

“Then now you will share their fate!” I tell him, raising the blade and ready to strike and-

-In a blink of an eye, my own saber flies out of my hand!

IMPOSSIBLE!

I turn to find the source, ready to defend myself to the potential attack and I see…

-A boy. A small, innocent, child with my saber in his hands. He shares the same brown eyes as the Jedi I fought. They are so similar. Too similar. But that means…

“A son.”

Chapter Text

I arrive at my usual spot and collapse on the hill on my knees. Leaning backwards onto the warm tree, I bury my face in my robotic hands.

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me?

The question rings in my head. It’s all I can think of as a ringing noise surrounds me. All my senses are clouded and muddled.

God, everyone was terrified of me. Even Kaeden was!

What’s Ashla going to think of me? The first friend I ever make and now she’s probably scared of me!

“Galen?”

Speak of the devil.

I hear the sound of grass being crushed as footsteps becoming closer and closer to me. They are slow, calm, careful. Eventually, they stop to my right.

“Galen, are you okay?”

Her voice is so gentle. So, angel-like. Why is she talking to me like this?

“Leave me alone.” I mutter. “I know you’re scared of me.”

She doesn’t respond immediately. Instead, I sense her crouching to my side.

“Galen, look at me.”

I don’t move an inch. I don’t want her seeing me like this.

I expect her to give up. I expect her to sigh in defeat and walk away. I wouldn’t blame her for doing so. I don’t deserve her kindness.

What I don’t expect is the delicate touch of her hands on top of mine. I don’t expect her to grip my metal palms tightly and gently and slowly move them away from my face. And I especially don’t expect her to carefully grab my chin with her thumb and fore finger and move my face towards hers.

I let her.

Her face is inches from mine. Her ocean-eyes calm the storm that is within my mind.

She’s beautiful.

“Do I look scared?” she gently asks, her warm breath hits my face.

No…she doesn’t.

I slowly shake my head and, surprisingly, Ashla wipes tears from my face.

Wait, tears?

I…I didn’t even notice I was crying.

I can’t remember the last time I shed a tear. Lord Vader condemned us from doing so.

“Grief and sadness have no place in the dark side.”

On Coruscant, I had to be the Third Brother. I had no place. I was taught to be uncompromising or suffer. I had to eradicate any trace of the man I once was.

But here, on the backwater moon of Radda. Here, with Ashla, I can just be…me.

I haven’t felt this free in a long, long time.

Pulling away from her comforting hands, I look back at the field before us. The sight of the orange crops is a welcoming sight.

“I’m sorry for earlier.”

“You don’t need to apologise.”

“I do. I got mad for no reason and scared everyone.”

“No-one was scared except from that guy you were arguing with. We were just surprised.”

“Still, it was immature. I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“No-one really likes the guy, anyway.”

Her blunt honesty makes me chuckle, my sadness slowly being replaced with happiness. “I guess so.”

“Hm.” Ashla hums in acknowledgement. She pauses for a few moments, seeming to contemplate on whether she should say her next words, but continues on regardless. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Why were you so mad about…about what happened with the Jedi?”

I freeze. The world freezes. The galaxy freezes. Everything freezes from that single question alone.

The boy is silent. He doesn’t utter a single word. But his eyes speak for me. They have nothing but fear inside them.

They…they have a son?

But that means the Jedi are…

“GALEN!”

The female Jedi from earlier rushes out of the scene and freezes at the sight before her. The sight of her son holding my saber while I am choking her…husband.

Her and I lock gazes and I can feel her fear. It is overwhelming. I should be happy that I can cause that reaction. I should be happy that I can draw on her fear and fuel my connection to the dark. I don’t feel that at all.

“Please.” She begs, tears slowly falling down her eyes. “We left the order years ago. That is our son. Please, let us go. We won’t bother you again!”

The desperation in her begging shakes me to my core. All I can think of is an image from years ago. An image of a young boy and his pleading parents standing before a Zabrak mugger on Level 1212 of Coruscant. An image of a gunned down mother and father in front of a crying child. It is an all too familiar sight. I remember how I felt in that moment.

“I…” I mutter only to trail off. I look back at the father I am choking right now. He is still struggling for air, but I can see my hesitation has brought a touch of hope in his eyes.

And, finally, I look back at the boy. Despite being so young he was brave enough to try and save his dad. I wish I was as brave as he was when I was his age.

“What did you say his name was?” I quietly ask her. I am surprised that I can hear a touch of tenderness in my question.

The Jedi calms down, slightly, and gazes at her son with a warm, small smile. “Galen. Galen Marek.”

Galen Marek.

And in hearing the name I make my decision.

I…I can’t do this.

It doesn’t make any sense. I was going to kill people earlier! I HAVE killed people as part of my training! This shouldn’t be so difficult!

But this situation…it reminds me so much of what happened to me. It reminds me too much. if I do this. If I kill this entire family…then I will be like that mugger who took my childhood away from me.

And that is the last thing I want.

After what felt like eons but might have only been a minute at best, I release my hold on the choking Jedi. I hear him collapsing onto the ground and coughing repeatedly. Using the force, I pull my saber away from Galen’s hands and back onto my own and I create some distance from the family as the boy and his mother rush toward their loved one. Whilst they are checking on each other, I can’t help but admire the scene. The hope, relief, and love in their eyes, their smiles, their tears of joy, their hugs. They really do look like a family. A loving family. Something I have desired for years.

I glance back at my saber in my metal grip. It is deactivated but I can still feel the rage of the red crystal from within.

What do I do now? I can’t go back to Coruscant. Lord Vader will find out that I let them ago. He always finds out. He will make me wish I was dead if I return.

I have to disappear. I have to make them think I was killed.

Without putting too much thought I remove my mask and drop it to the floor. Then, using the force, I begin trashing the place around me. I throw crates and spill its contents, I rip out walls, I create destruction that results in small flames that begin devouring the docking bay.

“What are you doing?” the male Jedi asks me, shocked by my actions.

I turn back to them. “I need the rest to think you killed me in battle. I need to make the area look like we had a fight.”

Glancing at my right metal arm, I realise there is one more thing I have to do.

I split my saber into two halves and ignite the left. I raise the blade and aim it at my arm.

No going back.

Closing my eyes, I slice downwards and completely cut half my right arm off. It lands with a loud metallic thud which causes a slight echo. The arm still holds the other half of my saber. The bay is silent.

No going back.

I glance back at the family and nod at their ship. “Go. It won’t be long before the others will come here.”

The father looks concerned…for me. I don’t deserve it. I tried to kill him not too long ago.

“What about you?”

That’s a good question.

“I’ll find my way off-world.” I assure them. “Now, go!”

The family of three rush towards the ship but before the mother stops by the entrance. She turns to me and sends me a small smile.

“Thank you.” She tells me, gratitude in her voice. “May the force be with you.”

The comforting words warm my chest, and this comfort intensifies when I see Galen behind her waving at me goodbye.

I nod in response. I don’t need to say anything else.

And, alas, the former Jedi walks inside, and the door slides shut. A moment passes, and the engines roar to life as the ship blasts away into the green sky above. They are gone. Now it is time for me to do the same.

I will smuggle myself or steal one of the ships, find a droid or someone to give me a new arm, and lay low.

I glance at my Imperial Inquisitor mouth-mask for the last time, now forgotten on the floor.

Goodbye, Third Brother.

“Galen?”

The voice snaps me out of my memory of that day. The day that changed everything for me. I need focus on the present now.

“I could care less if the Jedi were traitors or not. But what I do care is that children were killed. That is something I cannot accept. And hearing someone defending their murders is appalling to me.”

Ashla is silent. She is giving me time to process my thoughts. She’s so patient.

I don’t know what made me bring this up but before I know it, I blurt it out.

“I overheard you and Kaeden.”

“What?”

“The day we met. I heard you two talking about me as I was walking back home. You wanted to know how I got my cybernetics.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You have the right to be curious.”

She doesn’t say anything for moment until…

“May I ask…how did you get them?”

I clench my metal fists, my posture tense. I knew Ashla was going to ask me that and I still was not prepared.

“WHY LORD VADER? WHY?!”

“To teach you the most important lesson you will ever receive.”

“And…and that is?”

“Loss.”

I haven’t told a soul about how I got them. Should I tell her?

I can’t tell her the complete truth. But…maybe I can trust her with some of it.

“Remember when I told you I was an orphan?”

She narrows her eyes. “Yeah?”

“Well, not too long after the Clone Wars, I was…adopted in a way.”

“Were you happy?”

Recollecting the image of the Grand Inquisitor and the Fifth Brother finding me in a dirty, wet alley after hearing stories of my crimes using the force, “happy” isn’t the word I would use. But relieved? Maybe. After all, I was finally able to escape my life of poverty and the scum that filled Level 1212. How naïve and foolish I was.

Realising I hesitated a moment too long, I respond vaguely. “You can say that. I thought I can finally escape a life of poverty. Instead, I got a life that was…worse.”

My fists clench tighter and tighter and tighter. I can feel sweat of nervousness and discomfort forming on my face.

Amidst the fog of fear, a gentle hand plants itself on my metal palms once more. I can feel her presence calming my body and washing me with weightlessness.

“You don’t have to continue.” Ashla assures, voice gentle and soft.

I shake my vigorously. “No, no. It’s time I tell someone.”

She squeezes my metallic palms and lets me proceed.

“My…adopted father…was cruel. He tortured me and the rest of his children. He claimed that he was doing it to teach us the lesson of “loss”. That lesson costed me my arms and legs.”

Silence falls after my story concludes. The atmosphere is filled with melancholy and so am I.

Then, in an instant, I am pulled into a crushing hug by Ashla. Her head was tucked into my neck. Warmth fills my entire form, my heart fluttering and stomach twisting and turning in delight. It feels so safe.

I’ve haven’t had a hug like this in…years. Since my parents.

Ever so slowly, I raise my arms and wrap them around the togruta’s waist and squeeze gently. She lets out a quiet sigh of relief in reaction.

It feels so nice. So warm. So secure. So…lovingly.

“Thank you for telling me, Galen.” She speaks up. I can feel and hear the pride in her words. “I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

I breathe in and breathe out of my nose soothingly. I close my eyes, basking in the moment. “You’re the only one I’ve told. I want to keep it that way.”

She nods against my neck. “Of course. I won’t tell a soul.”

I smile. “Thank you.”

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, we pull away and lock eyes. Our gaze is tender. The sunlight has a gentle touch on Ashla’s face. It really highlights and brightens her lapis blues, orange skin, face markings, and her brown lips. She’s breath-taking.

“Oh, uh, thank you.” Ashla says, casting her gaze downwards and see a tinge of red on her cheeks.

Ah, shit. Did I say that out loud?

I snap to the left and begin coughing rapidly to avoid any awkward silences commencing.

Shit. Who am I kidding? I made it awkward.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

…what?

I snap back to her direction, and I see her looking at the grass, cheeks slightly red.

“Really?” I ask her in disbelief.

Ashla looks back at with a tender gaze.

“You’re extraordinary.”

I can feel my pupils expand from her words as I gasp loudly.

She really thinks of me like that?

I gaze down at my cybernetics. “Why do you see me like that? I’m not much to look at. Hell, I’m more machine than man. More battle droid than human.”

Her orange hand returns to gently place on my right hand. I stare at the joint-union of flesh and machine. The combination feels destined to be. Inevitable.

“My brother had a cybernetic arm.” She begins, her tone soft. “He lost it in a fight. When I asked him how he felt about it, he told me he hated it at first. He told me he felt ashamed whenever he glanced at it. But, as the years went by, he viewed it like that less and less. Eventually, when he looked at it one day, he looked at it with pride.”

Pride?

I turn to look at her face, sending her a silent question with my gaze. How?

She answers. “It was a sign of strength. It was a sign that, despite the pain that came with it, he didn’t let it define him. That it was a sign that he overcame the injury and learned from his faults and improved on them. A sign that his pain did not break him but instead made him stronger.”

She takes a deep breathe, nearly overwhelmed as I am with her speech, and continues again.

“You, Galen, are extraordinary. You have suffered a lot and yet survived it. You lived through the pain and overcame it. You are so much stronger than you know.”

I can feel my heart elevated to new depths from her words. I can feel the force, which has nothing been a raging storm ever since I snapped my parents’ killer neck, become a calm tide. Her compliments and description of me are a two giants hand lifting the galaxy off my shoulders. I feel alive. I feel peaceful again.

I feel-

Rushing forward and without think I press my lips to Ashla’s, hearing a cute squeak of surprise and feel the warm and light press of brown lips against mine.

WHAT AM I DOING?!

I immediately fly back and slap my hand against my lips, creating distance between the two of us. My brows reach the height of my forehead and my breathing rapid. Ashla has a similar look; eyes widen, and cheeks flushed. She raises her fingers to touch her lips gently.

God, what is WRONG with me?

“Galen…”

I need to get out of here.

“I’m so sorry!” I splutter out before running back to the woods nearby. I run deeper and deeper into the forest, deeper than I have ever been in before.

I can’t show my face to her in a while. Just need to cool off. Karabast, why is all of this happening?

However, in the lightspeed my robotic legs are travelling at, I only realise the tree trunk in front of me when it’s too late. In a desperate attempt to avoid collision I try to slow down but this results in me tripping and landing face first onto the trunk, harsh wood colliding with my forehead.

The last thing I see before I fade into the darkness is the golden leaves of the trees.

My screams of pure agony echo the medical centre as the droids try in their desperate attempts to restrain me. All around me, I feel the slow, torturous process of my new metal limbs being grafted to my very flesh.

The dark side is screaming inside me. The pain I am feeling is fuelling my connection. The darkness is yelling, screaming at me with commands:

KILL THEM!

HAVE YOUR REVENGE!

KILL THEM ALL!

“Lord Vader, with all due respect, was it necessary to inflict the most severe injuries towards the Third Brother?”

I hear the Grand Inquisitor questioning our master amidst my screams. I can hear a trace of pity within his words.

“I do not need to justify my actions to you, Grand Inquisitor.”

My Sith master has no pity. No remorse. No sympathy. None at all.

“Of course.” He replies, clearly not satisfied with the response. After a short moment, he continues. “However, I am curious on your reasoning. Third Brother, despite not being a Jedi prior, has made tremendous progress. He has continued to rise amongst the ranks.”

“And yet he is still contaminated with compassion.” Lord Vader replies. “If he is to be a member of the Inquisitorius, he must be rid of it. And the cure of compassion is hatred.”

“And you believe causing the most harm towards the Third Brother will achieve this?”

“Have you not sensed it? His rage? His hatred?”

“I do.”

THAT BASTARD! I’LL KILL HIM! I’LL KILL THEM ALL!

As soon as the excruciating torment that was the operation ceased, I break from my restraints as if they were made of paper and lunge at Vader…

…only to be halted mid-air immediately with my throat being squeezed by an invisible grip. I gasp for air, hands at my throat, as I eye both the Sith Lord and the Grand Inquisitor.

“You’ll…die…for…this!”

We all know the threat is nothing but a false bravado. A false promise. A threat devoid of meaning.

Vader doesn’t respond. His mechanical breathing echoes around the now silent room like a spreading virus. In the place of what should be eyes is his crimson lenses that make him look like a beast from Hell. He is death incarnate.

Finally, he responds.

“Welcome to the inquisitorius, Third Brother.”

My eyes slowly open as I regain consciousness. The orange sky seems to suggest that I have been passed out for a few hours. Terrific.

Now I have to walk back to the village looking like a freak with Ashla probably hating me now. Fucking fantastic.

God, what was I thinking? Why did I kiss her? Stupid!

A screech of a starship snaps me out of my distracting thoughts.

A screech that I am all too familiar with.

A TIE Fighter.

Oh no.

Chapter Text

NO!

I dash forward, not caring the risk of tripping again, using the force to enhance my ordinarily enhanced speed and agility thanks to my cybernetic legs to appear as a blur to any animals that might be nearby. With each step I take I can feel my nerves increasing. Despite knowing its futile I still hope that it isn’t what I think it is.

My worries are confirmed as I reach a closer distance to the village and from my vision, I see a singular TIE Fighter and three LAAT gunships surrounding each and every corner of the area. I see a platoon of Purge Troopers guarding and patrolling the homes.

Dammit! They found me! But how?!

No, that’s not important right now. I need to get my half-broken saber. I kept it after Daiyu in case something like this happened. I didn’t think it would actually happen though…

They’re here because of me. I need to save the farmers.

I need to save Ashla.

Luckily, my house is the furthest away from the other buildings and closest to me. That allows me to quietly sneak to the building without being detected by close troopers.

However, as I open the door, I see a singular Purge Trooper crouched down about to open my chest.

NO!

The trooper quickly turns to the sound of me opening my door but before they can shout out I tackle them into the ground in a flash, put them in a choke-hold, and throw his helmet off. I see the all too familiar face of a Jango Fett clone.

“Where are the farmers?” I growl, my grip on his neck tight.

“Y-You-“ the clone grunts out, his voice weak. “Y-You’re dead!”

I tighten my robotic arm on his neck which causes him to gasp for air.

“Where are they?”

 “Barn.” He barely gets out on the verge of slipping into unconsciousness. “Barn!”

The Barn? Of course.

“Thank you for your cooperation.” I sarcastically tell him, slightly loosening my grip. I then use my free right hand and wave in front of his face. “Now, you will tell the inquisitor that the Jedi has been sighted in the woods.”

The clone, recognising what I am attempting to do, grates his teeth. “Never!”

Stubborn clone.

I wave my hand again much more slowly, inches from his face.

“I said, you WILL tell the inquisitor that the Jedi has been sighted in the woods.”

There is a momentary pause.

“I will tell the inquisitor that the Jedi has been sighted in the woods.”

There we go.

I let the clone go and hand him his helmet. His diluted eyes I notice before he puts it on is the proof he isn’t faking. Then, without hesitation, he walks out of my home and begins marching to the barn.

Knowing I don’t have much time, I open the chest before me and pull out my saber. Dust has spread around it due to inactivity in so long, but I can still feel the rage and lust for blood within the crimson crystal.

I haven’t used this saber in nearly a year. Am I really ready to wield it again?

The image of Ashla’s corpse on the floor answers my question.

Yes.

Attaching the saber to my belt, I silently sneak out of my home and creep around to the back of the barn as I watch the Purge Trooper I mindtricked getting closer to the barn. I walk faster than the man so I can get there before he does so I can examine the situation. When I finally get behind the barn, I spot the open gap near the top, and I leap through it and land on the wooden platform above. I slowly crawl upon the frame as quietly as I can as I hear a voice I haven’t heard in a long time.

“I will ask you this for the final time. Where. Is. The. Jedi?”

The Sixth Brother. Of course, he would show up.

“I told you! He ran off ages ago! I don’t know where he is! None of us do!”

That voice is familiar too. It’s the guy I was arguing with earlier. He must have thought my outburst was proof that I was a Jedi. Sixth is going to be furious.

“Let us go. We haven’t done anything wrong.”

Ashla! She sounds…calm. What?

As I finally reach the end of the platform, I peak over and see four purge troopers aiming their blasters at the farmers. In front of them is the Sixth Brother who is standing in front of Ashla up close, saber ignited.

“You have no authority to give me orders, togruta.”

Before Ashla can respond, the trooper I mind-tricked walks into the barn. Bingo.

“Sir! The Jedi has been sighted in the woods!”

Sixth Brother, without hesitation, marches towards the barn’s exit. “You, with me. The rest of you stay here and make sure they don’t leave.”

My former comrade and the trooper leave the building, but the tension doesn’t diminish. If anything, it is increased. No-one knows the fate of Raada.

No-one says a word. The silence is choking the life from everyone, including me.

But that’s irrelevant. Sixth is gone which means I can act.

After waiting for a few moments to make sure the inquisitor is a good distance away, I make my move. I drop down from behind the purge troopers.

“Hello there.”

Their responses are immediate. The troopers twist to immediately fire their weapon but before they can even get a shot off, I thrust my right arm forward and reaching out with the force I wrap an invisible hand around each of their necks, choking the life out of them. Then, with a flick of my hand, their heads twist in 180-degree spin and the silence that was in the barn is vanquished with the sound of the cracking of bones. They are succeeded with the sound of their corpses dropping to the floor.

“Is everyone all right?” I ask them.

Their eyes are all wide and mouths agape, including Ashla and Kaeden.

“It’s true…” Kaeden mutters, sounding breathless. “You’re a Jedi.”

I tense up to Kaeden’s claim. I don’t know what to say to that.

“Oh, I assure you, he is anything but a Jedi.”

No…

I whip around and see Sixth Brother standing in front of the entrance. Purge troopers emerge from behind him and swarm all around me, creating a circle of death. Two members of the circle are focusing their attention on the farmers.

The room is silent once more. I can feel the darkness emanating from the inquisitor. He’s grown stronger since the last time I’ve seen him.

“When the boy told me about a male Jedi with metal arms and legs, I almost couldn’t believe it.” The Sixth Brother starts. I can hear the excitement in his voice. “I had my hopes, of course, but I told myself to be realistic. There was no way he is still alive. It looks like I was pleasantly wrong.”

We circle each other until we stand opposite sides of the circle of troopers.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

He darkly chuckles with no humour at all in the laugh. “Still have your silver tongue, I see.”

The agent of the dark looks around the barn, observing and examining every trace of the building and then finally the farmers. It’s like he’s trying to figure out something.

“Of all the places you chose to hide, you choose a primitive moon like this?” he asks whilst laughing again, this time with amusement. “And you, a farmer?”

“It’s a peaceful life.” I tell him. “Much better than Coruscant.”

A growl erupts from within Sixth, his anger replacing his amusement. “Lord Vader punished me severely for what happened on Daiyu. He mutilated my face in front of all the inquisitors.”

A chill runs up my spine at the mention of him.

“I’m sorry.” I tell him with utmost sincere.

“No, you’re not.” He bites back. “You’re a coward. A traitor like the Jedi we were sent to kill in the city. You let them go, faked your death, became a farmer, and now you are confronted by a ghost from your past. Ironic.”

He glances back in the direction of the farmers, specifically glaring at Kaeden. “What was that you said to him? That he’s a Jedi?” he asks them mockingly. He proceeds to chuckle with twisted joy. “You naïve fools. The man you call “Galen” you have been working with on this pathetic farm is a former Imperial Inquisitor of the Galactic Empire, tasked to hunt down the last of the Jedi Knights. The Third Brother.”

I don’t dare to see their reactions. I don’t even want to see Ashla.

“I’ve changed.”

He turns back to me and walks slightly closer to me. “Clearly. You’re a shadow of your former self. When the others will hear about this, I will be rewarded by Lord Vader.”

I clench my fists in an attempt to restrain myself. “Enough of this, Sixth. You have me. Let the farmers go.”

He tilts his head to the side in curiosity. “What makes you think I will follow your demands? What will stop me from killing them and taking you to Lord Vader anyway?”

“Nothing.” I admit. “But they brought you to me. That should be enough reason to spare them.”

Humming in acknowledgement, the Sixth Brother looks at the farmers and then backs at me. I hold my breathe in anticipation.

Then, finally, he nods in agreement.

“Very well.” He says. “Let’s go.”

I take one final look at the farmers and see faces of confusion, relief, fear, and anger. I see sadness stained in Kaeden’s eyes. She would get over it.

Finally, I look at Ashla. She looks…

I don’t know. Her look is unrecognisable and unidentifiable. She could be feeling everything and nothing.

I send her a small smile. A silent message saying “Thank you for being my friend.”

Then, finally I begin walking out of the barn with Sixth Brother and the purge troopers.

The troopers are marching behind me while the inquisitor in front. I keep my head down with my saber hidden in my robes. I can’t take them all at once. I’ll be dead in an instant. Instead, I keep my head down on the now dull orange grass.

So…is this it? Will I be executed by Vader? Will I be tortured into servitude once more? Or something far worse?

Whatever will happen, at least I did one good thing in my life. I saved Ashla, Kaeden, and the others.

Then, very abruptly, Sixth stops dead in his tracks, causing me to nearly bump into him.

He turns his head slightly to right and my heart drops when I hear three spine-chilling words:

“Kill them all.”

NO!

The sounds of marching fill my eardrums before I even have the chance to turn around. One by one each of the purge troopers walking back to the barn.

“NO!” I shout. I turn back to Sixth and I can sense his twisted sense of joy at my reaction. “Order them to stand down! We had a deal!”

His laugh is his only response. The mechanical filter from his ghoulish mask makes his cackling sound like a demon found in the depths of a dead sarlacc pit.

“You really have changed, Third Brother.” He mockingly tells me as his laughter dies down. “You seriously believe I will listen to the demands of a traitor? Never. Rest easy on your way to Lord Vader knowing that the blood of all the farmers is on your hands.”

NO!

In a moment of pure instinctual rage, I rip out my lightsaber from my tunic and ignite the crimson blade with a hiss of power and charge and slash towards the head of the Sixth Brother in a desperate attempt to cut his head off clean. However, my attack was clearly anticipated by my rival as he ignites his own blade and easily blocks my strike.

“Pathetic.” He tells me through the sound of the friction of the blades. The red of our sabers illuminates his mask to make its already ghoulish design appear like it’s on fire. “Seems like your character wasn’t the only thing that changed.”

“You’ll find that I have many of my old qualities you will remember and loathe!” I spit out through gritted teeth.

The sound of another hiss is my opponent’s response as another crimson blade emits from his saber.

“Prove it.”

So be it.

Pushing Sixth away to create some distance, I begin my offensive with strikes ranging from high to low and light taps and heavy swings. The inquisitor easily blocks each and every of my attacks and proceeds to respond with the activation of the infamous feature of the inquisitor lightsaber. In a blink of an eye, the two sabers spin frantically around the circular structure to act as a shield for defence and attack. He chooses the latter and begins swinging in every direction at me to try and make me lose my balance. I dodge in precise movements with small steps to the side or backflips to create more distance.

This is my shot.

As soon as I land on my feet from my last backflip I twirl and throw my saber in direction of the Sixth in an attempt to the very least to make him stumble. At most, to slice his face.

It does neither.

He effortlessly strikes the saber-turned-projectile diagonally upwards causing it to fly rapidly in the air above us. In my panic, I reach my arm toward the saber and use the force to carefully fly towards to my grasp with precision.

The saber returns to my right palm for only a split second before my eyes are blinded with crimson red, followed by sparks of blue accompanied by the sound of machinery being ripped apart. My vision partially blind for a few moments and stumbled by the strike, I trip backwards and fall onto my back with a loud thud.

“Your skills have worsened in your exile, Third Brother.” Sixth mocks, sounding more arrogant than ever. “You’re a shell of the warrior you once were.”

By the time he finishes his taunting, my vision finally recovers. I try to aim my saber at him and-

-Wires and electric sparks around my elbow is where the rest of my arm should be.

My arm…

It’s…it’s gone.

My heart, which was already pumping rapidly, begins pounding so hard that it drowns out all of the other sounds on the moon.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

I begin crawling backwards, raising my left hand in a pleading gesture.

“Please, Sixth.” I desperately beg, my voice wavering exposing my fear. “Don’t do this.”

He does nothing but chuckle sadistically and slowly walks towards me like a predator.

“I’ve changed my mind.” The inquisitor says, more to himself than me. “I think I’ll just deliver your corpse to Lord Vader!”

He raises his saber over his shoulder, preparing a downward slash. My eyes trace the action.

No…this can’t be how it ends. Not like this.

“Let him go.”

The new voice shatters the scene in an instant. I recognise it instantly.

Snapping my head to my left, I watch a lone togruta confidently marching towards both of us. Her brows are furrowed and eyes full of determination and power.

Ashla?!

“Ashla, don’t!” I yell at her. Please, not her!

“I’ll be right with you.” Sixth mockingly tells her and swings at my face. I raise my remaining arm for cover in a desperate attempt to-

-In a rough pull, I feel myself being flung backwards like I’m being dragged by a gust of wind and land a good distance away from my former comrade.

What?! Was…was that?!

Simultaneously, Sixth and I snap our attention to Ashla once more, eyes narrowed, and arm raised in my general direction.

Wait…did she just…

“Can it be?” The inquisitor asks in disbelief and, obviously no longer considering me to be a threat, begins marching towards the togruta.

“You’re supposed to be dead.”

What?

“Looks like my rewards will be doubled today. I will wipe the galaxy from the traitorous Third Brother and the infamous…Ahsoka Tano.”

What?!

Before my mind can barely process the bombshell that spirals my thoughts in all directions, the Sixth Brother immediately swings at her, only for her to effortlessly dodge it at a speed far greater than his and I combined. She dodges each and every strike with a precision and calm movements, as efficient as a droid. Then, in a blink of an eye, she grabs the hilt of the inquisitor’s saber and the two blades deactivate. In that moment, time freezes. For a second, I can’t feel my heart beating nor hear my own breathing.

Then, time resumes on fast forward, as she kicks Sixth away with his saber now in her hands and with a quick twirl ignites a singular blade and slashes him across the chest.

My jaw drops to the floor as the Sixth Brother collapses to the floor. Lifeless.

She just killed him effortlessly…

It looked like she barely tried…

Ashla is…a Jedi?!

I stare at the Sixth Brother’s now dead body. Oddly, I feel a twinge of sadness from his death despite everything. That could have been me not too long ago…

“Are you okay?”

Her voice snaps out of my sympathetic trance, and I see she is standing by me, hand outstretched and face expressing concern.

I glance at her open palm, then her ocean eyes, and back at her palm again.

Then, after a moment of hesitation, I grab her hand and she pull me up.

“Yeah.” I mutter, unsure what to say. “You?”

She nods. “I’m fine. The rest are fine too.”

I cock my head to the side slightly in confusion and she answers my silent question. “I dealt with the troopers.”

Oh.

“I see.” I tell her. I glance downwards and see our hands are still locked. With eyes widened and panic filling me, I drop it like its boiling hot and to avoid the awkwardness I locate my saber on the ground and force pull it to me. “Sorry.”

She opens her mouth but before any words come out, we a shout from a distance.

“Ashla!”

We both snap towards the voice and see Kaeden, her sister, and the rest of the farmers walking towards us only for the former to stop and gasp with her palm pressed to her mouth. Her eyes are staring right into my severed arm.

I tense up at the increasing quantity of people as they finally reach up to us.

They know now.

Everyone knows who I am. Who I was.

“This is your fault!” a shout emits from the same farmer who reported me, now in front of the crowd and glaring daggers. “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t shown up here!”

My eyes widen at his accusation, my mouth agape.

“Shut up!” Kaeden exclaims, pointing at him. “He risked his life to save us!”

“But you heard what that guy said about him!” the farmer barks back. “He was one of them! We can’t trust him!”

“Arguing about what happened won’t solve anything.” Ash-Ahsoka speaks up, walking to the farmers. “We can’t stay here. The Empire will probably send more after they receive no communication from the one they sent.”

The chatter amongst the farmers is drowned out by the echoing words in my mind.

“This is your fault!”

“This is your fault!”

“This is your fault!”

I tried living a normal life and I still brought the Empire here. I ruined their livelihoods now! What have I done?!

Amidst their discussion, too focused on planning on what to do, I slowly begin walking away from the crowd. If anyone notices and tries to call out, I don’t notice. The words the farmer said still ring loud and it’s all I can hear. My surroundings are nothing but a fog.

I don’t know how long I walked for but when I glance up, I realise that I subconsciously walked to the tree on the hill. This will probably be the last time I will visit this place. I might as well make it last.

But not even the gorgeous view of the fields of Raada can comfort me now.

What have I done?

I thought I could have a normal life. I thought I could settle down and move on.

I was wrong.

Glancing at my saber in my palm, multiple plans of action flood my mind.

Should I go into hiding again?

Should I just isolate myself?

Should I just…end it?

The sound of a boot pressing against grass brings my intrusive thoughts to a halt.

It’s her.

“Are you okay?”

What?!

In my stunned state, I don’t respond. She starts walking again until she finally reaches by my side. “How’s your arm?”

“Why are you doing this?” I ask her, trying to maintain composure.

“Doing what?” she asks.

“You know what!” I snap at her, turning to her left and glare right into her concerned eyes. “You heard what the inquisitor said! You know what I was! I was one of the people who hunted Jedi! People like you! You should be scared, angry, or something! ANYTHING!”

My outburst doesn’t frighten her. It doesn’t falter her calm state at all. She just…stands there and gazes her lapis blues into my own.

“You came back.”

Huh?

“What?”

“You came back to save the farmers. You could have ran away but you didn’t. You were willing to trade your life for all of us.”

I…

Breaking eye contact, I focus my attention on the ground. “Anyone would have done the same.”

Then, completely out of nowhere, her hand reaches underneath my chin and tilts my head upwards slightly to reconnect our eye contact. This time, a small smile is on her face.

“Not anyone.”

Her eyes and presence in the force contain nothing but truth. No trace of deception or manipulation at all.

“You’re too forgiving.” I mutter.

“You’re too pessimistic.”

“I’m realistic.”

“So am I.”

“If you were you would despise me.”

She sighs. “Whatever you were then, it doesn’t matter anymore. What you did showed me that you’re no longer that person.”

“Heh. You really are a Jedi.”

For the first time since our exchange, she hesitates and her eyes furrow slightly. “I’m not a Jedi. I left the order before the purge.”

Oh.

“I see.” I note, unsure what to say. “And you’re name is “Ahsoka”, right?

She nods. “My name is Ahsoka Tano. I’m surprised you didn’t know who I was. The inquisitor did.”

“I was a recent member.” I tell her. “The incident on Daiyu he mentioned was supposed to be my first mission. I guess I still had much more to learn.”

“On Daiyu, he said you spared the Jedi.” She begins carefully. “Is that true?” 

“A son.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I sigh, the weight of the memory still strong. “There were two Jedi in the city. They left the order years before the Clone War. I was going to kill them but…"

“But?”

“They had a son. A son called Galen."

“Your name…”

“My fake name, yes.” I confirm. “When I saw him, he reminded me of myself. He…he made me realise I was going to become the same man who killed my parents when I was a child. And I just…couldn’t do it.”

“Don’t phrase it like a weakness.” She tells me, voice calm and assuring. “Defying the Empire and the dark side is a strength. I’m sure Galen and his parents are grateful for you letting them go.”

She is so patient. So sweet. So kind.

I smile. “Xylon.”

“What?”

“My name.” I tell her. “My real name. Xylon Terris.”

The words pouring from my lips feel foreign to me. Alien. I haven’t used them in a long time. It’s good to use it again.

She smiles back. “Nice to meet you, Xylon.”

The suffocating atmosphere that was present before has melted away. It is replaced with warmth and safety.

But the question remains. What now?

I sigh heavily and look back at the orange field, sun setting. “This life. This “normal” thing…isn’t for us, isn’t it?”

She sighs too, glancing in the same direction. “No. I came here because I was tired of fighting but now, I think fighting is always going to be a part of me.”

I know that feeling all too well.

“I came here because I wanted a normal life.” I add. “I see now that is something I can never have.”

A gentle hand touches my left shoulder.

“A friend of mine once told me that I had a duty. That I had an obligation to uphold. I didn’t listen to him at the time. But after today, I realise he was right. I think it’s time to get back into the fight.”

I turn back to her, and I see that she has cast her head downwards. She looks…shy.

“I know you want a normal life but, if you want, you could…come with me.”

What?!

My eyes bulge from her words alone.

She…she wants me to come with her? She wants me to help her?

I look at the open field of Raada yet again.

For so long I have been alone and living a lie. These past few months with Ahsoka have been…freeing. I want to keep feeling that.

I’m done with hiding.

I glance back at her, the togruta clearly focused on what I am about to say, and I give her a teasing smirk. “I can’t…not with one arm, anyway. I am gonna have to get a new one.”

The brief disappointment that flashed across Ahsoka’s face transitions to a slight offended and mock anger and she lightly punches me on the shoulder. “Jerk.”

I smirk. “Hey, now, I thought I was extraordinary.”

Her face softens once more. “You still are.”

My heart skips a beat and my lips part.

“And you’re still breath-taking.” I respond.

In a cute display, I see Ahsoka’s cheeks slightly flush in embarrassment. Adorable.

I then remember the kiss and my cheeks flush too. Shit.

“I’m sorry by the way.”

She looks back up and tilts her head in confusion. “With what?”

“The kiss.” I mutter. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking. I mean, I recently realised I had feelings for you but I didn’t mean to do THAT. And, uh, oh karabast, I really just said that. Well, uh, I DO have feelings for you but, like, you don’t have to feel the same, obviously. Uh, I hope we can still be friends and, oh dear, I’ve never done this before and-mmh!”

My long, messy, and incoherent ramble is cut off with her hand reaching to the back of my head and pulling me to mesh our lips together.

Holy shit, Ahsoka is kissing me.

Don’t just stand there doing nothing!

Our lips move together gently and softly and full of tenderness. I reach out my metal hand to cup her cheek and she sighs.

I’ve kissed people before but this…this is heaven.

When we finally part, I move my forehead to hers and we stare right into each other’s eyes, inches apart.

“So…” I speak up, only to trail off. “I guess you feel the same?”

Ahsoka snorts in reaction. Cute.

“I don’t know.” She teases, smirking mischievously while stroking my hair on the back of my head. “Maybe I need to kiss you again to find out.”

I smirk back. “Maybe you should.”

Our lips join back again and the whole galaxy fades away.

With Ahsoka and I together, the Empire stands no chance.

For the first time in years, I am truly happy again.

I am no longer alone.