Chapter Text
I'm a sick pervert, I think to myself as I'm lying in my bed, cum glistening all over my sweaty lower body, holding my slowly softening cock in my right hand and the newest Witch Weekly in my left. I'm still staring at the cover with my tired, half-opened eyes, piercing green eyes staring right back at me, deep into my soul.
This isn't the first time I've masturbated thinking about him, and this certainly won't be the last. To be honest, this has been going on for years. I've been harbouring these weird feelings for him ever since I was eighteen.
Someday, I will surely get over this stupid crush of mine, and laugh at all this... but right now, all I can think about is him: uncle Harry, my godfather, who is definitely the sexiest man walking on earth. The one I'm thinking about every night before falling asleep and every morning when I wake up.
There's no one like him.
------
I'm so bloody messed up, I think to myself as I'm spending the Friday night at Potters. They've invited me for a family dinner, and after that, we've all moved to the living room to watch some silly comedy film together.
I'm pretending to watch the film together with Harry and his family, when in reality, my brown eyes are - once again - resting on him. His beautifully tanned skin, his nicely toned upper body, his gorgeous, thick thighs, his amazingly curly hair, the way his emerald green eyes light up everytime he smiles, the way he laughs...
I could watch him endlessly. I could spend the rest of my life just admiring everything about him.
------
I'm so fucked, I think to myself one week later, when uncle Harry pulls me close, his strong arms tightly wrapping around me in a familial hug.
I close my eyes and immediately take full advantage of this rare closeness, trying to memorize everything as well as I can. The feel of his nicely muscled, warm body pressed against my own... the delicious scent of his fresh, masculine cologne that I keep inhaling deep into my lungs... the feel of his warm breath as he says right next to my ear: "Happy birthday, Teddy."
Heat is spreading all over my body, and my knees feel weaker than ever when he finally pulls away, flashing me a warm, affectionate smile. I swallow hard.
"Thank you", I mutter back, heart thumping wildly in my chest.
This isn't just an innocent crush anymore. At some point along the way, my feelings have become deeper. Stronger. Painful.
I'm in love with him. I'm in love with uncle Harry.
-----
Oh shit, I think to myself as I get caught staring at Harry for way too long during a dinner at the Burrow.
"Teddy! You're doing it again", Victoire whispers into my ear, making me jump on my chair.
"What?"
Victoire lets out a sigh, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Staring at him, all the time. You couldn't possibly be more obvious."
"I have no idea what you're talking about", I hiss at her, quickly lowering my gaze to my still very much full plate. I start poking one of the potatoes with my fork, my cheeks blushing slightly.
"I think you do", Victoire hisses back at me, sounding amused. "You've got the hots for Harry, don't you?!"
I send her a warning glare. "Shut up, Vic", I hiss at her.
"So it is true", Victoire says, leaving her mouth open as she keeps staring at me with wide eyes. "You've actually got the hots for him!"
"I swear to you, Vic, if you tell anyone about this -"
"Is everything alright, dears?" Molly Weasley asks, and Victoire and I both hurry to nod. Almost everyone is now staring at us, including Harry, Ginny and their three children.
"Yeah, of course", I answer, smiling tightly, and the dinner continues. I spend the rest of the dinner trying my best to avoid looking into Harry's direction. Harry's, whose eyes are, for some reason, constantly resting on me and Victoire.
"I promise I won't tell anyone", Victoire whispers into my ear after a while. "After all, it's just a harmless crush."
"Yeah", I mutter, swallowing. "Just a harmless crush."
-----
I'm so stupid, I think to myself as I see Harry and aunt Ginny sharing a kiss in the middle of Diagon Alley.
No matter how long they've been married, they always look so damn happy. They seem to have a perfect, flawless marriage that lacks nothing, and they also have a perfect, happy family together. There's nothing in the world that could possibly come in between them. Harry loves his wife and kids so much, with all his heart, and he wouldn't risk all that for a secret fling with anyone.
I would never stand a chance, even if I'd try.
-----
I'm a terrible, terrible person, I think to myself as I'm once again spending my Friday night at Potters and listening to Harry and Ginny arguing in the kitchen, a smile on my lips. I have no idea what their argument is about or why they are yelling at each other so much, but I'm enjoying it way too much.
After a while, the yelling stops and I can hear the front door being violently slammed shut right after. James, Albus and Lily don't seem to care one bit, still continuing to watch the film with no reaction to their parents' argument. Have they gotten used to them fighting? Is this normal in their family?
I slowly get up and sneak into the kitchen, where I find Harry, looking more pissed than ever.
"I've got an advice for you, Teddy", he says as soon as he sees me. He's sitting at the table, leaning his face against his palm. "Never marry a woman."
I'm trying my best not to smile. I can't show Harry how happy I secretly am about their relationship problems.
"Don't worry. I certainly won't." He raises one of his eyebrows at me. "I'm not into girls", I add.
There's a short silence between us, as Harry keeps staring at me.
"Oh", he finally manages to say. "I thought you and Victoire..."
I answer him by instantly shaking my head. "Just good friends."
"OK", Harry says slowly, trying to assimilate what I've just told him.
I've never talked about my sexual orientation to anyone else but Victoire and James, my two best friends. After all, I have never even been in a relationship, so there has been no need to. Victoire and I have just secretly been laughing at Molly Weasley's desperate attempts to pair the two of us.
"Does it bother you?" I ask him, cutting his trail of thoughts.
"What? No", he answers in a hurry, shaking his head. "Of course not. We all love you just the way you are, Teddy." He pauses for a while, until finally adding: "Feel free to bring your boyfriend over the next time."
"I'm not dating anyone yet", I tell him, which also seems to come as a surprise to him, according to the strange look on his face. "I like to keep my options open for now", I say after a while of hesitation.
"Oh, right", Harry says, clearing his throat. "But if you do find someone, feel free to bring him over."
"Thank you, uncle Harry."
-----
I'm so lucky, I think to myself as one sunny Saturday, Harry surprises me and takes me roller-skating with him, something we haven't done together in years. Harry used to live in a muggle family as a child, so he likes muggle activities a lot - and so do I, because that means I get to spend more time with Harry.
After skating for almost two and half hours, Harry apparates us to a nearby beach for a picnic. He opens his backpack, taking out a small blanket, two delicious self-made sandwiches and two small bottles of juice. The smile he flashes me melts my heart.
We sit down and start eating. Just the two of us, good food and a beautiful, calming scenery. It's perfect. It almost feels like a date, though I know it's not. We have so much fun that day.
-----
I'm so hopelessly in love, I think to myself as Harry texts me later that day.
'Thank you for today. It was fun', his message says.
I'm staring at the screen, smiling. Yes it was, Harry, I think to myself.
'It was. We should do it again sometime', I answer him, adding a smiley face in the end.
'Definitely', Harry answers. 'What would you say if we turned this into a regular thing?'
I'm smiling at his message like a fool, my stomach full of butterflies.
'I'd love that', I answer him.
'So would I. Good night, Teddy', he writes back.
'Good night, Harry.'
After placing my phone next to my pillow and turning the lights off, I close my eyes and smile to myself. I can't wait to see Harry again.
-----
I'm totally losing my mind, I think to myself at work. Being in love with Harry is already messing up my work. I'm finding it difficult to concentrate, when all I can think about is him.
My head is full of questions. When will I see him again? How could I get his attention? What kind of plan do I need to get closer to him? Is there any way that I could win his heart for myself?
I bury my face in my hands, letting out a long, sad sigh. What am I doing? Am I seriously thinking of a way to get in between Harry and his wife?!
I have nothing against aunt Ginny. I like her. I've always liked her, ever since I was a kid, so what the hell is wrong with me? Why would I want to steal uncle Harry away from her? Why would I want to cause her pain? Why would I want to break their perfect family? When did I grow up to be like this?
My grandmother taught me better. A lot better.
-----
I'm starting to be too careless, I think to myself as Victoire once again catches me watching Harry. I'm standing in front of the window, staring at him playing and laughing in the yard with Lily and Albus.
"That bad?" she asks, crossing her arms. "I hope you're not thinking about doing something stupid."
"Like what?"
"I don't know... Acting on your feelings?"
I finally rip my gaze off Harry, turning to face my friend, who has a strict look on her pale face. "Of course not", I lie to her.
To tell the truth, that's all I've been thinking about lately: how to get closer to Harry, how to get a taste of him... but I haven't got any proper plan yet.
Victoire looks relieved by my answer. "Good, because it would make things so awkward between you guys", she says.
"I know, Vic", I say with a sigh. "It's just that... I can't stop thinking about him..."
Again, Victoire places her hand on my shoulder. "You have to, Teddy. He's seventeen years older than you are, and he's happily married to aunt Ginny! Not to forget the fact that he is your godfather. Even if you would tell him how you feel about him, he would never answer your feelings." Neither of us is paying attention to the sound of the front door opening and closing in the hall. "He's known you since you were a baby!"
"I know", I say, starting to get annoyed.
It's not like I haven't already thought about all that myself, at least a hundred of times. I'm fully aware of how twisted my feelings are, and I don't need anyone to keep reminding me of it.
"And even if he'd - for some insane reason - answer to your feelings... just think how weird it would be! You're part of their family. You're like a son to him!"
"I know that!" I snap at her. "You think I haven't paid any thought to that? You think I don't spend my days and nights thinking about how wrong this is?!"
"I was just trying to-"
"To what? To rub salt in the wound? To make me feel even more terrible? I'm already torn because of all this, Vic!" Tears are escaping my eyes. "Watching him with his perfect family... I'm so fucking torn!"
The floor creaks behind us, and we both turn around.
My stomach drops. Harry is standing at the doorway, staring at us with his mouth slightly open. Somehow, he has managed to come inside without us hearing or seeing him. How long has he been standing there? How much of our conversation has he heard?!
"Sorry to interrupt", he says, clearing his throat with an awkward look on his face. "I just... came to get something to drink..."
"You didn't interrupt anything", I hurry to say, nervously running a hand through my blue hair. "I was just about to leave."
"Already? We haven't even eaten yet."
"It's alright. I'm not feeling hungry."
Harry frowns at me. "Are you sure? There's plenty of chicken pie -"
"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass", I say, already passing him at the doorway. I need to get away. Now. "I-I'll.. see you later."
I leave Harry standing there, staring at my diverging back with a strange look on his face.
-----
I'm in so much trouble, I think to myself when Harry texts me later that evening. He hardly sends me messages, so hearing my phone vibrating and seeing his name on the screen is scaring me.
'Everything OK?' the message says.
Swallowing, I start typing my answer.
'Yeah. Why?'
'You left so quickly today. I was wondering if something happened', comes an answer straight away.
'Nothing's up, no need to worry', I write back.
'Are you sure?'
'Yes.'
Harry doesn't answer me anymore, and I feel relieved. Perhaps he didn't hear the conversation that I was having with Victoire. Perhaps I've been worried about no reason at all.
I've already put my phone away, turned the night lamp off and closed my eyes, when I hear my phone vibrating next to my pillow. Again.
I slowly grab my phone, opening the last message.
'Anything you'd like to tell me?'
I'm staring at the screen in shock. My throat goes dry. My hands are shaking. Blood is rushing through my veins. My cheeks are burning. I feel like throwing up.
Harry's heard us. He knows.
'No?' I answer him, hoping I'm wrong.
'Are you sure?'
'Yes. There's nothing to tell', I answer.
There's a long pause, before he finally texts back.
'Teddy... I know I'm not your dad, but remember that you can talk to me about anything.'
'I know.'
'Whenever you need me, I'm here for you. You're very important to me.'
'I know, Harry, and I'm thankful for that. You are very important to me as well.'
I keep watching the screen, wondering how it would feel like to confess how I truly feel about him... but now is not the right time. Not now, not like this. I have to wait for a better time.
'Good night', is all I add, pressing send.
'Good night, Teddy', comes an answer after a minute.
-----
I couldn't be happier, I think to myself when going roller-skating with Harry and having a picnic afterwards actually becomes a regular, weekly thing.
I love being able to spend some alone time with uncle Harry, for once not having to share him with his wife, his kids or anyone else. Just the two of us, having fun together and enjoying each other's company.
The only problem is that the more I get to spend time with Harry, the more I'm falling in love with him... and the more painful it's becoming for me to not be able to kiss him, to touch him, to not be able to tell him how I feel about him, to know that I can never have him... to see him smiling so warmly, so fondly at me but knowing there's nothing more in his smile but familial affection towards his own godson.
-----
I'm an arsehole, I think to myself when only a week later, I'm once again witnessing another argument between Harry and Ginny. They're yelling about something to each other behind a closed door at the Burrow, and I can't help a satisfied smile forming on my lips while listening to them.
Lately, I've heard them arguing a lot, which I'm secretly happy about. Their marriage doesn't seem as flawless as I thought anymore.
------
I must be imagining things, I think to myself when during our meetings, Harry's hand starts to linger a little too long on my shoulder... a little too long against my own as he passes me a bottle of apple juice... a little too long on my face as he leans in to wipe a piece of sandwich from the corner of my mouth, his wedding ring glimmering in my sight.
It's completely normal, right? It's not like it means anything. Right?
-----
I'm cunning like a fox, I think to myself when I arrive to another Potter family dinner, wearing the sexiest clothes that I own. A tight, black shirt and jeans that accentuate my slim but fit body perfectly. I must admit that I look hot as hell... and when I purposely drop my phone on the floor and bend over to grab it... I actually manage to catch Harry's eyes boring into my arse. I take my time on the floor, and when I finally get up, he quickly looks away... but it's already too late. I've already caught him looking.
My lips turn into a broad smile. I've just caught Harry looking at my arse. My plan seems to be working. Slowly but surely.
-----
I'm sick... sick, sick, sick, I think to myself as I'm furiously rubbing my hard cock right after I've come home from another meeting with Harry.
Once again, I was wearing my sexiest clothes today, and... well, what can I say? All those lingering touches on my skin, all those lingering gazes on me and my body... Fuck, I've been hard all evening, and finally I get to ease the pressure.
This is going worse, day by day. How long will I be able to control myself around him, when all I want is to jump on him, to push him on his back on the picnic blanket, to rip his clothes off and ride him senseless?
Just the simple thought brings me to my orgasm. I paint my naked lower body with stripes of my cum, crying out his name.
-----
I must be losing my mind, I think to myself during our next film night at Potters.
As always, I'm once again secretly glancing at Harry in the dim living room. He is sitting at the other end of the room, aunt Ginny on his right side, but instead of looking at his wife - or the film we're all supposed to be watching - his eyes are directed on...
Wow. I quickly turn my gaze back on the TV, feeling his intense gaze burning on my skin. Wow.
Even as I keep my eyes tightly fixed on the screen, I can still feel Harry's green, intense gaze on me.
Why is Harry watching me again? What is he thinking of? I have no idea, but it's making my stomach flutter.
For the next few minutes, I try my best to concentrate on the film, but I can't. All I can think about is that I've just caught Harry staring at me instead of the film, instead of his wife.
Swallowing, I slowly let my gaze wander through the room, finally stopping at Harry and Ginny. Ginny is fully concentrated on the film, and for a while I think her husband is too... until he slowly turns his head to the side, meeting my gaze.
There's a swarm of butterflies in my stomach as we're staring at each other across the dim room. I have no clue what's going on here, but this time neither of us is breaking the eye-contact, and there's something in Harry's gaze, something that is driving me crazy. The tension is clearly hanging in the air.
Our moment is broken by James letting out a loud fart in the middle of the room and bursting out laughing.
"Ew!" Lily screams next to her big brother, instantly jumping up, and Harry and I quickly tear our gazes off each other, not daring to exchange glances anymore.
-----
I'm going to be so bloody tired tomorrow, I think to myself as the same night, at almost two am, I'm still lying in my bed awake, staring at my phone.
I've been reading all those messages that Harry and I have been sending to each other during the last few weeks. Lately, the amount of our messages has grown a lot, when we've started chatting about all kinds of daily stuff... and is it just my imagination, or have our messages taken a somewhat flirtier tone at the same time? No, it's crazy to even think about it. I'm just imagining everything again, right?
I almost drop my phone when I suddenly see Harry's WhatsApp status turn to online. What is he doing awake at this time of night? It's been hours since I left home, and they were all about to go to sleep back then, but here he is: online, at two am.
My heart jumps in my chest, because I can see Harry writing me a message. I'm finding it very hard to understand what I'm seeing.
Harry is online. At two am. Writing me a message.
'Can't sleep?' soon appears at the end of my screen.
'No', I answer.
'Me neither', comes a reply. There's a long pause, and I already manage to think he's fallen asleep while still being online... until another message arrives.
'Can I come over?'
I swallow hard. Oh - my - god. My stomach is fluttering. My heart is hammering in my chest. All I can think about right now is the way that Harry was watching me during that film. And now he wants to come over.
'Yeah', I answer him.
'Be right there', he answers before turning offline.
I throw my phone away and instantly jump out of the bed.
My hands are shaking. No, my whole body is shaking. Harry is coming over to my flat, at two am.
I take a look at myself in the mirror. I'm only wearing boxers and a white, oversized t-shirt, and my blue hair is all messy from lying on my bed, but it doesn't matter. I don't have time to get dressed or to fix my hair, because there's already a knock at my front door.
He's here. Harry's here.
More nervous than ever, I make my way to the door through my tiny flat, slowly pushing it open.
Harry is standing there, looking at me. He's biting his lower lip, looking tired and nervous, so bloody nervous.
"Hi...", I hardly manage to get out of my mouth, swallowing and stepping out of his way, so he can come in.
"Hi", he says back, closing the door after him.
-----
I must be dreaming, I think to myself as he grabs my face with his hands, pushes me against the nearest wall and kisses me. Hard. Passionately. Desperately.
I can't believe this is happening. Harry's here, pinning me against the wall, kissing me like no other man has ever kissed me before. I wrap my arms around him, holding him as close as I can, answering the kiss hungrily. So long I've yearned for this, longed to kiss, longed to hold him, and finally it's happening.
This has to be a dream. A dream that I never wish to end.
-----
I'm way too easy, I think to myself as I'm leading him into my bedroom, our clothes falling one by one to the floor on our way there.
We soon reach my bed, and he pushes me on my back, climbing on top of me.
"Harry", I whisper.
My head is spinning. All this feels so unreal.
"Yes?" he asks, coming to rest in between my legs. Our erections are brought together, and... fuck, he's big. A lot, lot bigger than in my dreams. Even without looking, I can feel it.
"This is... I..." I can't find the words to speak. I've wanted this for so long, and I am enjoying to finally be able to feel Harry's warm, naked body against mine. I want him so damn much - just as much as he seems to want me back - but I'm way too aware of the fact that he is married.
We shouldn't be doing this. Harry shouldn't be here, above me, looking at me with that look in his eyes. He should be home with his family, sleeping next to his wife... but he's not. He's here, with me, about to have sex with his own godson.
"I know, sweetheart", he says. I can see the guilt in his eyes, but he's still not showing any signs of backing down. "Let's not ruin this, right?"
I shake my head. We're going to do this, take a step that we will never be able to take back.
-----
I can't wait to get all of Harry, I think to myself as Harry keeps preparing me with his long fingers, staring deep into my eyes while carefully working me open. I'm staring right back at him, gasping and pushing myself against his fingers.
I know this is wrong, but right now, I don't care. I can't wait to feel him inside me.
-----
I'm so filthy, I think to myself as only five minutes later, I allow Harry to deflower me.
I'm lying on my back, my legs wrapped around his waist, staring at his handsome face as he makes love to me for the first time.
This is Harry. A man who is seventeen years older than I am. A very much married man. My own godfather. And still, right now, I don't give a shit about any of it. This is exactly what I've wanted, and now I'm getting it.
Harry is fucking me bare, pretty much tearing my arse with his thick cock, and it's perfect. Way better than I ever thought it would be.
I don't bother telling him that I've never been with a man before. I don't bother telling him that he's currently taking my virginity. I don't want anything to ruin this: the most special moment of my life.
"Fuck... Harry...", I'm groaning under him as he keeps pounding into me, never breaking our eye-contact. I keep pushing my arse against him, eagerly meeting his powerful thrusts and moaning loudly. My arse is already sore, and I know I'll have big troubles trying to walk tomorrow, but I never want this to stop.
"Yes... Teddy...", Harry grunts back, his balls slapping against my arse as he sinks into me, time after time. The headboard keeps banging against the wall as he's slamming into me, again and again and again. I love the fact that instead of treating me like a boy, he's treating me like a man. He's fucking me hard and deep, just the way I need him to.
"So beautiful... so tight... So... much... better..."
He doesn't finish his sentence, but I know all too well what he means. So much better than his wife. So much better than aunt Ginny.
For a while, I feel guilt rushing over me. Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this to aunt Ginny? Since the beginning, she has been so nice to me, almost like a mother, and this is how I repay her. How will I be able to look her in the eye after fucking her husband?
Harry hits my prostate, making me cry out in pleasure, and just like that, all the guilt disappears.
"Yes", he murmurs. "Come for me, love."
I've never come so hard. My whole body is shuddering wildly as I shoot my load in between our bellies, screaming his name under his piercing gaze.
"God... Teddy!" he grunts, furiously pumping into me and filling my insides with his cum before collapsing on top of me.
I close my eyes, breathing heavily under Harry's warm, naked body, the realization hitting me hard.
I've just slept with uncle Harry. A married man. My godfather. My best friend's dad. I've never felt more satisfied and guilty at the same time.
What have I done?