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So… Peter got shot.
And really, considering his very hazardous occupation and the amount of stupidity and impulsiveness he tended to show during missions, it really shouldn't be something to be freaked out about.
Except, he didn't just get shot.
The important thing here is what he was shot with.
See, Peter fucking genius Parker had the absolutely brilliant idea to take the bullet for Tony who, by the way, was sporting a very much metal and bulletproof suit.
Now, here he was, lying in the medbay and staring at the Avengers, all of whom were in varying stages of worry and panic and most importantly, lacking something very important.
Peter Parker was currently lacking his powers.
Look, Peter would be the first to say that having powers, especially the type like his which was kind of unfairly overpowered, was really freaking cool and he loved being a hero, really!
He loved the sense of freedom he got while swinging from buildings while working as Spider-man. There's always a sense of gratitude and fulfillment that came with the very hazardous occupation of hero and Peter loved saving people. His powers just enabled him to save even more and were a godsend for literally any situation he could think of.
Fighting using brute force? Yes.
Fighting in the air? Yes.
Scouting? Yes.
Mode of transportation? Yes.
Sticking to buildings and playing pranks on very unassuming people? Also a resounding yes.
Point is, they were pretty damn cool.
So, when Peter wakes up to a white hospital room - the medbay, he realizes distantly - surrounded by the Avengers who were whispering to each other, he is, admittedly, freaking the fuck out.
Why?
Well, there are a few reasons.
First, he got shot which isn't that bad except he doesn't know what was in it because Peter could swear that some sort of disturbing and mildly concerning liquid was in those bullet slash mini syringe things.
Second, and most importantly, the Avengers weren't noisy. Sure, Peter entertained the thought that maybe they were thinking of his health and wanted to be a bit lowkey as he recovers but remembers that the Avengers were all very kind and respectful but they couldn't keep quiet to save their lives.
As such, it was either they were whispering which is about close to impossible, or they weren't whispering and they were just talking. Peeking at them with a bleary-eyed squint, Peter realizes that they weren't whispering and were, in fact, talking.
Except talking, Peter has come to discover in the months working as Spider-man, meant voices that echo in his brain, practically resembling a screaming match with how his senses pick up on the noise. Really, it was basically a migraine just waiting to happen.
Talking has never been this… soothing.
So, imagine Peter's surprise when he wakes up to a room full of Avengers who were talking to him at a normal volume and not feel a headache coming on. Staring at the people in front of him, Peter distantly realizes that Bruce was talking to him about something and quickly tunes into the conversation absentmindedly.
"-ntially, your powers will be gone until approximately 23:25 P.M. today, though it's just a rough estimate since I can't really be sure about the exact time you were shot. Now, from what I can tell, the bullet was specifically made with people like you or Steve in mind but thankfully, we were able to shut down their operations during our last raid." Processing Bruce's words, Peter grasps the most important point of Bruce's medical jargon.
Apparently, the bullet that hit Peter was tailored specifically for people with superpowers and made them lost their abilities for around 48 hours. Considering the fact that Peter had been out of it for a good day or so from exhaustion and fatigue, there was still about 24 hours to go.
This fact, however, doesn't truly sink in until an hour later, after Peter finished fielding questions like how're you feeling, kid and what the fuck were you thinking, Underoos and is getting ready to go to school. Distractedly fixing his bag, Peter realizes that holy shit, he doesn't have spider powers for the next 24 hours and holy shit, Peter doesn't have his spider powers for the next 24 hours!
Freezing for a full minute, Peter slowly looks at the palm of his hands and claps, the sound echoing in his room. The sound was loud but not brutal for his ears and his hands are decidedly not sticky.
And as he finished getting ready for school, Peter can't help the smile slowly spreading on his face and thinks giddily, today is going to be great.
Maybe, the Avengers should have noticed that there was something off about their youngest little hero. It would have saved them the headache that would inevitably arrive later.
However, it wasn't every day that one of your teammates suddenly loses their powers for a few hours. Being a little different was expected of Peter. They had a pretty good excuse for not sensing Peter's unusually carefree attitude.
They didn't pay attention to the kid long enough to see Peter casually lift Mjolnir off of his backpack and school notes, a running joke of the Avengers, and placing the hammer on a precariously balancing bottle which was on top of a few magazines which was on top of a plate which was on top of a book.
The unusual action could have been the first sign that today wasn't going to be like most days. Unfortunately, no one sees anything.
Peter walks into Midtown with the biggest smile on his face, or at least, bigger than usual. Normally, he wasn't this happy, actually, he shouldn't be this happy, considering he had just lost his ability to be Spider-man not too long ago.
Except…
Except, Peter can't hear the tap, tap, tapping of one of the broken faucets in the 3rd floor bathroom or smell the weird odor from the janitor's room and he doesn't even stick today.
Today, Peter can run his hand through his hair like some pretty basic white boy and not have to worry whether or not he accidentally pulled out a clump of hair.
Today, for one short day, he doesn't have to deal with the bullshit he calls his spider-senses which is basically anxiety on drugs.
Today, Peter has effectively gotten rid of his anxiety on steroids for 24 hours and honestly, he might be a little high off of the sheer lack of information flowing through his brain. His spider-senses aren't going off every time someone passes by a little too close and he doesn't worry that the school bell will make his ears bleed with how strong it is.
Right now, Peter Parker was normal.
So, Peter walks - no, that's slightly wrong - he strolls into the school that is blissfully quiet with a huge smile on his face because not only can he not hear the annoying water fountain that just wouldn't shut up, he also can't smell when someone decides to take a shit in the bathroom.
This is, by far, the best day of Peter's life.
Sitting on his usual desk, Peter taps a slow, steady rhythm.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
It’s just tapping, really something so inconsequential that it shouldn't really matter and yet, yet, it gives Peter so much joy to be able to just tap, tap, tap and not have the sounds echo and pound into his ears like loud drums.
It shouldn't make him this giddy.
It's just tapping.
And yet, yet, it does.
Really, this is the best day of Peter's life.
(For Sarah, Peter's deskmate, however, her day has been going badly, in stark contrast to her positively glowing classmate. Getting distracted by your classmate's incessant tapping and then wondering if he was saying something in morse code which then spiraled into obsessively recording each tap and pause and then translating it into English only to be met with the lyrics of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up is, admittedly, not the best way to spend the hour of Spanish class.
Especially when the teacher decides to spontaneously give a pop quiz immediately after discussion and the only thing in her mind was the words, 'Never gonna give you up, never gonna run around and desert you~'
Seriously, did Peter fucking Parker just rickroll her?
Unintentionally??)
"Hey, Penis Parke-" Flash walks in Peter;s direction with his usual lackeys, posture as cock-sure as always, obviously gearing up to do more bullying, as was the norm for the past years of Peter in this school.
Sadly for him, however, Peter doesn't feel the normal ding of his spider-senses signaling that whatever he was about to do was a bad idea. He doesn't really have them right now and without his usual impulse control operating, Peter just isn't seeing any sense in just accepting whatever Flash decides to spew out.
Right now, Peter Parker was normal and, quite frankly, couldn't give a flying fuck about anything Flash Thompson had to say.
Instead, he smiles sweetly, and says, "Flash," with honey practically dripping off his slightly off-kilter sickly sweet smile, "please just shut up."
Patting the locker beside him softly, Peter makes eye contact and continues, "If you don't want me to give as good as I got, I suggest you leave. After all, being the ace of the academic decathlon team is a testament to my genius brain. Do not think that I don’t have at least 49 different ways to commit homicide. The fact that you still exist is a testament to my immense impulse control and, frankly, today, I am missing a few things, one of which is my ability to give a fucking shit."
Needless to say, Eugene 'Flash' Thompson was scared shitless.
A few minutes away from the school, Tony Stark sits at the top of Stark tower, tinkering in his lab, blissfully unaware of the chaos currently taking place at Midtown. Jolting out of his work flow by FRIDAY announcing that he had a phone call, Tony pats his jeans in a futile effort to lessen the grease on his hands and reaches for his phone.
Roger Harrington. Midtown High. Peter's teacher.
Momentarily staring at the phone in surprise, Tony answered the call, knowing it was Peter's teacher calling and expecting another Peter has a headache, Mr. Stark, but it instead met with the slightly trembling voice of Roger Harrington who says, "Mr. Stark, I think you need to bring Mr. Parker home for the rest of the day."
Tony arrives at the clinic of Midtown high in record time, 8 minutes, and is currently facing a teenager who looks like he has no regrets in the world and is grinning like a lunatic, obviously unrepentant in his actions. Seeing his mentor slash dad arrive, Peter's eyes widen and light up, gesturing to his very prominent Hello Kitty bandage on his forehead, Peter enthusiastically calls out, "Tony, look! My first ever war trophy!"
Staring at the kid who was excitedly feeling at the Hello Kitty bandages on his face, Tony replies with a deadpan, "war trophy?" in the most sarcastic way he was able to manage.
This, however, flew directly over the kid's head and simply waves off Tony's obviously sarcastic remark entirely to regale Tony with the entire situation which, Tony would admit, was sort of disturbing. How his child managed to come up with 49 different scenarios, all of which has an outcome of the bastard dead in a ditch, is beyond him.
Peter, the cheeky little bastard, however, completely ignored the fact that he just told his mentor, Tony Stark, that he just made his bully fear for his life not only a few minutes ago and simply laughs like a triumphant general returning from war. Nodding excitedly, Peter explains his previous statement to Tony, "this Hello Kitty bandage is the testament to my victory over Flash you fucking bastard Thompson! My war trophy! My spoils of war! The culmination of my entire life's efforts and achievements are in this Hello Kitty bandage!"
Mentally counting to three, Tony simply takes a deep breath. This shit wasn't in the parenting books, damnit. Wait until he tells Pepper and May about this, no way was he keeping this incident to himself. He needed to vent. Honestly, was this a generation gap thing?
Deciding to enact some semblance of discipline, Tony says, "So, let me get this straight, you threatened Flake Thomp-"
"Flash Thompson,"
"Flash Thompson, with homicide."
"Well, ye-"
"and, then, you proceeded to detail how you could, and I quote, theoretically destroy his bloodline."
"Yes."
Staring at his kid who looks as carefree as can be, as if he didn't just threaten his bully (which Tony will look into) with homicide not a few minutes ago, Tony should have seen this coming, really.
Of course, his spider powers are the only thing keeping him a sane and functioning human being.
Peter looks like he's high and honestly, Tony didn't know whether he should be proud as fuck for his kid who has just essentially stood up for himself in the most badass way possible or reprimand him because he just threatened a kid with murder.
Deciding to simply go with the don't do crime route, Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, he can practically feel his hair turning grey. Honestly, this kid was a lot of work. "Peter, you can't just threaten someone with murder. It's illegal."
Innocently looking away, Peter mutters, "It’s only illegal if I get caught."
Settling into the car, Peter couldn't take his eyes off of Happy Hogan who was pointedly looking anywhere but at Peter and Tony. Opening his mouth, Peter asks cautiously, "Happy, why are you in a bright green suit?"
Grumpily turning the car on, Happy muttered darkly, giving Tony a lowkey murderous glare, "Tony decided to mess with my laundry."
And Peter Parker, bless his soul, has just lost his entire self-preservation skills with that bullet, decided to forgo his future and replies, "Happy," slowly lifting his head, as if experiencing an epiphany, "you are currently a living embodiment of the grinch."
In the front seat, Tony abruptly looks to the right, trying - and failing - to hide the snort he makes at Peter's statement. Beside him, Happy pinches his nose and mutters a prayer for patience, turning to the back seat, he looks Peter in the eyes and says, "Peter Parker, say that one more time, I dare you."
And, like the idiot that he was, Peter repeats his statement, bless his soul, "You look like the grinch. Not that it's a bad thing, very Christmas vibes, I'm sure my aunt would like it, she always did like unwrapping Christmas presents, if you know what I mean." Wiggling his eyebrows, Peter replies, obviously ignoring the fact that Tony has, by now, started cackling and Happy had turned into a very Christmas shade of red.
Deciding that he wasn't paid enough for this bullshit, Happy simply grumbles and starts the car.
Fucking bullet, Happy much preferred the slightly shaking version of Peter, not this one that had apparently met god and was not impressed and decided to just say fuck it and kick him in the dick. Seriously, those spider powers are the only reason the kid had any semblance of self-preservation, damn it.
Midnight couldn't come fast enough.