Chapter Text
Sailing with the Strawhats was... certainly something else.
Sure Sanji has a fair share of unique and quirky crewmates, with Bepo and Pan being Minks, Mekajiki and his affinity to throwing knives at anything that moves, Nousagi being a bipolar mess, Saba with his ridiculous amount of forgetfulness, Jean Bart was a fucking captain of his own crew at some point for crying out loud. And that wasn't even the half of it. Like, their captain can literally swap souls and make puzzle pieces out of anything. But Sanji had come to realize that the Strawhats were in a whole new level of quirky in the week he had spent with them.
Luffy is made of rubber, he had a seemingly bottomless pit of a stomach that craves meat 24/7, his metabolism is so inhumanly fast that he reverts back to normal after a few minutes from the fat balloon he became after every meal. Also, he had an energy of a five-year-old who can never sit the fuck down, complete with the attention span of one as well. He likes to sleep on the ship's figurehead only to fall into the water after a particularly sharp turn or a surprise storm, causing one of his crewmates to jump after him. He's an idiot rubber glutton man-child.
Zoro is an alcoholic asshole, he can sleep wherever and whenever even though there's a storm or an attack or even when Chopper squealed a bit too loudly, he can never go a day without drinking at least one or two bottles of booze and he just loves to press all of Sanji's wrong buttons. When he's not sleeping or training, he's picking fights left and right, all the while smirking as Sanji kicks his ass, that prick enjoys making his life hell! He's a smelly caveman who knows nothing but to fight, drink, sleep, and train.
Usopp is a liar and a coward to boot, he likes telling outlandish stories about his ' very real adventures' and him being a 'brave warrior of the sea', he keeps talking and talking even as he slept. It was amusing at first, but now Sanji slept in the galley because holy shit can that guy sleep-talk. To make amends for his cowardice, Usopp is a really good sniper, he demonstrated his skills when he saw a Marine ship miles away and set it's sails aflame with just a slingshot. He's a trembling liar who is surprisingly the voice of reason for this whole damn crew most of the time.
Chopper is... not a Mink. He's an actual reindeer who ate a Devil's Fruit which turned him human-ish. An excellent doctor who loves everything sweet and worries about every single injury whether it be minor or major or even just a joke. He has multiple forms which are all equally fascinating in their own ways and he's actually one of the few people in this ship that Sanji actually likes. He's sweet and adorable, but can also be a badass if he tries.
Franky is a self-proclaimed pervert who wears nothing but speedos and ugly floral shirts that never closes, he's an over-the-top cyborg with huge arms and flashy colors, he's loud and brash and he keeps making those stupid poses with equally stupid mouth-made sound effects. He has an addiction to cola, he wears his heart on his sleeve, and he can surprisingly be a good conversationalist if he wasn't so busy trying to prove his 'pervert' title. He's the crew's crazy big brother who tries to stop them from getting themselves killed but ends up joining with enthusiasm.
Brook... is a skeleton. And he's the musician. Also, he talks and acts like a gentleman, then does a sharp turn to ask for a peek to any girl's panties. Now that, that is a pervert. Has Sanji mentioned he's a skeleton? Because he is. And holy shit no matter how long Sanji spends with this man(?) he'll never get over the fact that he's nothing but bones and his natural afro. He's an eighty-year-old dude with the mind of a rowdy teenager who tries a little too hard.
The men (save for Chopper) are fucktards and Sanji doesn't even want to imagine how delicate flowers such as Nami-swan and Robin-chwan lives with those brutes, but after spending time with them... he kinda gets it.
Nami is a sneaky thief who hussles her crewmates as much as she can, she has a list of debts that varies for every person, Zoro had the highest and Robin has none. Thankfully, she hasn't made one for Sanji because holy does she charge high. She's an out of this world navigator who can predict what weather will be coming in before it even arrived. She's strong and confident but she also doesn't like getting into fights so she hides behind Zoro or Luffy or anyone really. She's absolutely beautiful and Sanji would let her step on him in a heartbeat.
Robin is a really smart cookie who can read a person with such outstanding precision that it makes you wonder if you have ever made a diary and handed it to her. She also has a really dark sense of humor, having been the reason why Sanji almost swallowed a cigarette multiple times. Her power is amazing, but sometimes seeing eyes and mouths and hands and ears randomly popping up next to you or on you is not a very pleasant experience. Of course, Sanji doesn't think Robin is an unpleasant experience, she's a real delight, but he'd really appreciate if she didn't make him squeak in front of the marimo.
The first week of his travel with the Strawhats was enough to distract him from the Vivre Card that felt like a thousand pound weight in his pocket. He had given a piece to Nami for her to navigate them to wherever Law was.
Things have calmed down since then though, and Sanji was getting a little anxious. So now he was smoking out on the deck, leaning on the railing and staring out at the vast sea. It was calm tonight. Too calm, in fact, that Sanji felt like things were about to turn over itself.
He wasn't much of a chain smoker (having Polar Tang submerged 75% of the time prevented him from it and also he didn't want to smell too much of smoke around Law), but he couldn't help it. He was on his fourth stick and his shoulders were still tense, the buzz of the nicotine doing nothing to calm his nerves.
What if the crew tries to look for him too? What if they get into trouble while both Sanji and Law were gone? What if they don't make it to Zou? Or what if he doesn't find Law? What if the Sunny gets shipwrecked? What if the Vivre Card isn't the right one? What if Law doesn't want to come back? What then? What--
"Sanji's scared."
The blond turned to glare at Luffy who was rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "I'm not." He huffed.
Luffy stretched his arms above his head with a yawn before standing next to him and looking at the sea. "It's okay. We'll find him." He said, ignoring what Sanji said.
Sanji sucked at his cigarette and glared at the ocean instead. If there was anything Sanji learned during these past few days, it's that Luffy is an incredible empath. He may be stupid, but he can read people's emotion like an arrow to a bullseye. There's no use lying to the Strawhat captain. There's no use lying to himself either.
"I shouldn't even be looking for him in the first place. He's being an asshole." He was dodging. Not lying. There's a difference.
"Don't worry Sanji, you're not alone. You'll find him for sure." Luffy grinned. Confident and serious.
Sanji couldn't help but smile. "Yeah... I hope so."
He knew it. He fucking knew it. He jinxed it. Fuck.
"Woah!! The sea is on fire!!" Luffy laughed in excitement.
"S-S-Sanji are you sure your captain is over there?" Usopp stuttered, his legs trembling and teeth chattering.
Sanji watched incredulously as the Vivre Card in his hand started fluttering towards the burning island. What the fuck had Law gotten himself into?!
He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at the island. "He has to be."
The beautiful Nami wiped her brow with a small frown. "There's no mistaking it. The Vivre Card points there, but... none of the Log Poses does." Directing her frown at the device on her wrist.
"How curious," Robin mused. "What do you think prompted your captain to stay in such a place, Cook-san?"
Sanji loosened his tie, feeling the heat through his layers of clothing. Shit. He should have worn a vest instead of a full suit. If only he didn't lose all his stuff during the storm. "I don't know myself, Robin-chan. But whatever it is, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind." He said, training his voice to sound calm, he didn't want to growl at a such a wonderful woman.
Robin giggled into her hand. "How thoughtful of you."
"I wanna go!!" Luffy exclaimed, eagerly eyeing the island like a dog starving for food. Or... like Luffy starving for food. They both drool in want so what's the difference?
"Luffy, no! We're just here to drop off Sanji-kun and go on our way." Nami scolded, hitting her captain's head.
The captain whined. "But the island is so cool! I want to go on an adventure! And I want to talk to Sanji's captain!"
Sanji kicked the teenager on the head without a second thought. "For the last time, I'm not joining your crew you idiot rubber!"
Luffy only laughed it off and turned to Franky. "Advance!" He said.
"Are you an idiot?! The sea is literally burning! The fish are dying! And the heat is enough to make you sweat buckets even from afar!" Usopp screeched.
"Don't worry Usopp-bro! Sunny is super fireproof!" Franky assured, already turning the ship towards the burning island. That did not assure the sniper at all.
Nami, Usopp, and Chopper started complaining about heat and danger and stupidity, but majority of the group seemed keen on visiting the island. Zoro and Robin even looked excited if you asked Sanji. Luffy certainly is.
Sanji decided to start making something sweet and cold to help the ladies with the heat so he doesn't have to worry about them so much after he leaves. That's when the transponder snail started wailing. An emergency signal, someone was calling for help. But that was also one of the Navy's dirtiest tricks.
Luffy was the one who answered. And like the idiot he is, he introduced himself as the future Pirate King along with his complete name. Seriously, how was this guy still alive? How was he still sailing around freely and not serving his sentence in Impel Down?
The guy on the other side of the call was crying and calling for help, talking about being cold and getting cut down by a samurai. The call ended with a blood-curdling screech. Sanji and the Strawhats, who have come into the galley to listen in, were watching the transponder snail with varying reactions.
"We're on... Punk Hazard!" The man had screamed. Well, at least they have a name for the island now.
Usopp was predictably the first one to break the tense silence. Stuttering and shaking in his boots. Insisting he had I-can't-go-to-this-island-disease and would rather turn the ship around than even consider stepping foot on such a scary place. Nami, Chopper, and even Brook were quick to agree with him.
Franky didn't stop the ship though, and Luffy just found another reason to go into the island. So, the Strawhats drew straws (ha, straws) to see who were the 'lucky ones' to accompany their captain to the island because no way in hell were they letting him go alone. Sanji wasn't going to be with Luffy to end after all.
To Sanji's amusement, disdain, and delight, the three 'lucky' Strawhats were Usopp, Zoro, and Robin. He couldn't decided whether to feel lucky for having Robin come, or unlucky because he has to spend more time with the dumb marimo.
"Alright! Bring out the Mini Merry, Franky!" Luffy cheered.
Sanji shoved a lunch box at the excitable captain and the other two guys before gently handing Robin her own. "Food for the road, my sweet." He purred, making her giggle in amusement. He can't let them go without food after all.
"Eh?? You're not coming with us Sanji?" Luffy frowned.
"No, I'll catch up to you later. I'm going to have to make sure Nami-swan has enough cold treats to last until you guys come back." Sanji said with a shake of his head. "Besides, I don't think we'll fit in your little boat even if we tried." He added, eyeing the small vessel the cyborg shipwright had brought out.
"How will you catch up with us if you don't have a ride, Cook-san?" Robin asked with a small furrow of her eyebrows.
Sanji smiled at her. "Your concern warms my heart, Robin-chwan, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve."
"But--"
"If the shitty cook says he's chickening out then let's just go. This is a waste of time." Zoro scoffed.
Sanji was quick to aim a kick at the swordsman's side, which was blocked by two swords. "I'm not chickening out you fucker!" He growled.
Zoro was about to retaliate with an attack of his own but was stopped by the rubbery arm that wrapped itself around his neck and pulled him overboard and into Mini Merry. He started shouting at his ever cheerful captain who just kept laughing as Robin boarded gracefully while Usopp got thrown into the boat by Franky.
"Let's go then!" Luffy exclaimed with his fists in the air.
Nami created a path of clouds that goes over the raging fire for the little boat to sail on and Sanji made sure she knew how amazing she is. They called it Milky Road, a technique she learned from a Sky Island. Sanji had a moment of envy towards the Strawhats, his own crew has never had the chance to visit a Sky Island after all.
"See you later Sanji!" Luffy laughed with a happy wave.
Sanji lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag as he and the rest of the Strawhats saw the Mini Merry off. Is he stalling? Maybe. He just needs time to cool off, compose himself so he doesn't say anything out of line. Law has his reasons, and as a good friend, Sanji shouldn't jump to conclusions. Besides, there's no need to hurry. He told himself.
It's not like Law's dying.
The blond spared the Vivre Card another glance just to make sure. Not burning up. Good.
When Nami-swan was accounted for and the fridge was filled with different flavored ice-creams and sea crepes, Sanji went off. Making Chopper, Franky, and Brook squeal in delight when he started walking on air. Though Franky might argue that it was a 'manly exclamation of admiration'.
He didn't really know what he was expecting to see when he arrived at Punk Hazard, but Luffy sobbing out apologies as he kneeled in front of a pair of severed legs next to a decapitated dragon was definitely not it. Zoro was busy slicing up the red dragon's meat as if he were butchering a pig and not a mythical creature while Robin watched Usopp berate Luffy for killing a man.
Sanji landed quietly next to the gorgeous raven-head who had shed her dress for a pair of short shorts and a green tube. "What happened?" He asked.
If Robin was startled at his sudden appearance, she didn't show it. She just nodded at the dead dragon. "Swordsman-san and the captain killed a dragon." She provided, completely glossing over the fact that there was a pair of legs in front of them that was pointedly missing a torso.
He was about to question the existence of said animal, but he had a dead one literally right in front of him. And this is the Grand Line, in the New World nonetheless. He's been sailing this sea for almost two years, he really shouldn't be surprised about finding out that dragons are real. So instead, he questioned the severed legs.
"I ripped him in half!!" Luffy wailed.
"But captain, if you look at where you pulled it off, it doesn't show any signs of detachment from another half." Robin pointed out patiently.
Luffy blinked out his tears and looked at where his archaeologist was pointing. There was nothing but red scales. His expression immediately lit up. "So I didn't cut a man in half!" He laughed.
Usopp rubbed at his chin. "So it's just... a pair of legs?"
The Strawhats continued talking about the seemingly huge pair of legs, but Sanji started zoning out. Or rather, zoning in on where a torso should be. Nothing but a black void. Unnatural and very disturbingly familiar. He was about to approach it when the legs stood up on its own and started talking.
"Ahhh!! I've been pu-pu-pulled off and given my freedom!"
"Zombie!!" Luffy gaped.
"Monster!!" Usopp squealed.
Sanji shook his head with a perplexed expression. "No. He's a person." He said.
Zoro jumped off from where he was perched on the dead dragon to look at the blond with a skeptical eye. "How do you know?" He asked.
"Because my captain did that." He admitted with a sigh. Of course Law would do this. Why exactly? Sanji would be sure to ask later. "This is the first time I saw a pair of legs talking though, I wonder if he attached the owner's mouth somewhere."
Before Zoro could interrogate him further or for Usopp to start complaining about horrible senses of humor, the pair of legs kicked out at Luffy.
"Whoever you are, give me pu-pu-passage! Poot! There is much yet to be done before I die! Poot!" It said.
Luffy dodged with a surprised yelp. Then the legs started running.
"That buffoon of a Warlord will never escape my wrath! Poot!" Those exact words were the trigger to many things.
Mainly Zoro shoving a sword to the cook's throat, Robin sprouting arms from the floor to restrain Sanji's legs, and Usopp almost collapsing to the ground in shock. Luffy also somehow managed to attach the pair of legs to his back when he stretched his arm to reel it back, but ended up stumbling because he was gaping at Sanji.
"Your captain's a Warlord?!" They all exclaimed.
Oh, did he forget to mention?