Chapter Text
-now-
Remus doesn’t remember a life without Lily. Not really, anyways. They had only been 5 years old when the Evans took him in under their wing. After that they were inseparable. Joined by the hip. Remus thought that it would be like that all their lives. It ended up being just all her life.
It was raining the day of their funeral. Pouring more like. It was like even the world knew how much of a loss it was to lose two people like James and Lily Potter. Remus agreed. He was grateful for the rain though. It would be unbearable to say goodbye with a bright sky mocking back at him. This way at least he wasn't crying alone.
“You promised we were forever, Lils,” he wept. “ And now...now I'm here by myself. No you. No James. No Peter. No Si-” it pained Remus to even pronounce his name out loud so he stopped himself. “I’ll miss you forever and always, sissy”
Words and promises echoed through his mind. Promises that Remus now understood were too fragile. Life itself was too fragile.
“Promise you’ll never leave me”
“I would never”
But she had. They all had. Even if not by choice.
“They loved you so much. She loved you so much.” Petunia got closer to Remus. She too had teary eyes even though was trying to hide it. With baby Harry in her arms, Petty spoke in a quiet voice. “Lily loved you much more than she could ever love me, you know… “
“You know we both love you, Pet, right? Both me and Lily. You’re still my sister and you’ll always be.” They both stayed silent for what seemed such a long time. Just staring at the grave in front of them. One he thought he wouldn't have to see. At least not as soon. “I miss her. And James.”
“I miss them too”
***
-then -
The Evans residence was dead silent as the clock reached midnight. Mary and Tobias Evans were fast asleep in the bedroom at the end of the hallway without even noticing the two sets of tiny little feet running around.
Remus’ room was by far the smallest but he didn't mind it at all. He barely spent any time there anyways. That night, lying in bed, the little boy looked at the ceiling covered in tiny stars and moons that glowed in the dark (Lily and Remus had to beg Mrs.Evans to let them decorate their rooms like that). It was his first birthday without his parents. He knew it was the first of many. Remus let himself shed some tears for them, wondering where his mum was now. Had she forgotten him already? And his dad...would he ever see him again? Did he even want to?
There was a knock at the door and, without Remus even answering, it opened silently, two small heads looking inside.
“Remmy, are you awake?” Lily whispered
“Yes”
“Can we come in?” Petty would whisper now.
Remus sat up, a sign allowing the two little girls to join them. With little squicks of happiness, the girls ran to him hugging him with everything they had. Remus hugged them back, cleaning his tears with the back of his hand so they wouldn't notice. He didn't want them to think he was sad, even though some part of him was.
“Happy birthday, Remmy!” Petty and Lils sang in unison. “Mumma made you some cake for tomorrow but we couldn't wait so we baked you a cake too! Made of chocolate!” Petunia said with a smile on her face, showing him the little cupcake she and her sister had made for the boy. It had an R and a tiny heart drawn with icing.
“You did?!” Remus couldn't believe himself “This is the bestest birthday ever already!” Lily was laughing so much with all the excitement jumping around.
“Eat it!” she demanded
“No! We have to share!” So they did. Remus cut it into three equal parts and gave two of them to the girls as they giggled, not even worrying about the noise they were making.
***
Some years passed. Remus’ relationship with the Evans only grew. That was his family now. Lily and Petunia were his sisters. He was close to both of them the same even though Lily was his age and Petty was a little bit older. It didn't matter to him.
During the hotter days, the three of them would go to the garden and run around and laugh until they were so tired their bellies would hurt. Other days, Remus would sit by the big tree reading a book Tobias gave him while the sisters would dance pretending they were doing a whole show.
“Remmy, now you have to watch, yes? We made this dance for you!” So he did. And he loved every second of it.
At night, Lily would crawl into his bed and they would talk all night about everything and nothing. She would tell him about her latest dreams and her deepest secrets and Remus would do the same.
“Do you know that blue vase from some weeks ago? I was the one breaking it…” Lily would whisper.
“Lils! Mumma blamed it on Petty! And you let her!” He scolded.
“Well to be fair it was her fault. She was saying bad things about Sev again and calling him all sorts of mean things…” Sev, or Severus, was Lily’s best friend from school. Remus couldn’t really understand why. He was an idiot to everyone but her. Petty and Remus hated him. “And I was getting so angry … And you know when you get so affected by something someone said that feeling leaves your body?” Remus shook his head. “That happened! And the vase broke! I didn't even touch it, but Petty got so scared she stopped talking about Sev!” she said proudly
“You used your mind power again? Have you told anyone yet?” Remus asked.
“You, dummy!”
“Someone but me”
“No. But you’re the only other person who also has it so maybe it's supposed to be a secret between us.” they giggled. “Remmy and Lils’ mind power.”
“I like it.”
“Me too.”
They were 10. A year before getting their letter to Hogwarts and understanding that their ‘mind power’ was magic all along.
***
-now-
The world was a different colour without them. It was almost December now and it was snowing like crazy outside. All the streets were decorated for the festivities but it felt wrong to be celebrating anything.
Inside Petty’s house, it was warm. Remus was sitting curled up in the armchair in front of the fireplace with a book in his hands pretending to ignore the mess that was going on around him. Babies crying and his sister running around like crazy trying to get the house together before her husband got home.
“Remus, what about a little help, no?” she hissed at him with an angry face. She looked older and so tired. Remus put down his book and started to try to calm down the children. Soon enough little Harry stopped, staring at him with his big green eyes that resembled Lily so much. Remus felt that it was his time to cry now. Dudley wouldn’t keep quiet though so he got him on his lap dancing around with him in his arms for a bit until he gave up. “Thank you, Remmy, you’re a gift from the Gods above!” Petunia came back to the living room to kiss Remus on the top of his head. He just smiled. “Vernon would be so mad if he got home to the boys crying and the dinner not ready,” she whispered as if Vernon could listen to them. Her face fell dark. He looked at her attentively.
“Petty is everything okay at home?” he asked with the same tone. She met his eyes, tearing up now.
“Vernon hates him, Remmy. Harry. Every time the boy even glances at him he loses his mind” Petunia sat down next to him with Harry in her arms. Dudley had fallen asleep curled up on Remus’ chest but baby Harry kept glancing between his aunt and uncle as if understanding every word being said. “I’m scared for him. Vernon keeps saying Lily was a bitch for leaving the kid to us and just dying. As if she did it on purpose. As if she was not murdered! ” Petty wept and Remus reached out to her, involving his sister in a long embrace. He kept himself silent, just listening.“This is not a safe environment for him, Remmy. I’m...I’m constantly afraid to leave the poor baby alone with him. I feel like I'm just waiting for him to snap and hurt him. I can't let that happen. We can not let that happen. “She murmured, looking Remus in the eyes.
“What are you trying to say?” but Remus knew what she was trying to say.
“You have to take Harry. I know Dumbledore asked me to raise him, but I can't. Not with another baby in the house and Vernon always a step from snapping” Petunia embraced Harry with a little more strength now, as if her mind was telling her to let go of the boy but her body couldn’t. Because that boy was the last thing to remind her of who Lily was.
“I can’t do that, Petty! I know nothing about raising a child! And what about the whole werewo-” Remus panicked
“You bring Harry over once a month during the full moons. That way he is safe and I can also be with him.” she didn't even let him finish. Petunia had already thought everything through. “And you have magic, Remmy… You can show him a part of his world I won’t be able to and protect him in a way I could never.”
Remus signed, defeated. He loved Harry so he knew this was for the best of the child.
“But where will we live… I have no house” Petty looked at him confused.
“What about your apartment?” He couldn't go back there! It was their apartment. It stank of memories and pain and everything Sirius and Remus used to be. People they would never get to be again.
“But Sirius…” she understood immediately. Remus hadn’t been to his own home since everything happened. He was gone on a mission for 5 weeks and then when he came back, everything had changed. So he was bunking with Petty until further notice. He couldn't bring himself to go back there.
“Love, Sirius is jailed for what he did, with a trial just around the corner. He is not coming back for that house and I think you would be really stupid not to take it. It's your house too, Remmy. And even if it hurts a lot now, someday it will hurt a little bit less. You’re gonna be okay out there. And I’m always gonna be here to help you.”
“I can't go there alone…”
“I’ll go with you. I’ll tell Vernon it’s to help you take Harry’s things” Pet put her hand on his arm giving it a gentle squeeze. “I love you, Remmy. Thank you.”
“I should be the one saying thank you.”
And so it was. The next day, after lunchtime, Remus, with baby Harry in his arms, entered that one place he used to call home.