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You Build Me Up And Then I Fall Apart(Cause I’m Only Human)

Summary:

Katara is the healer of Team Avatar, and it's a burden that weighs heavily. Some pain just can’t be healed, especially Aang’s whose trauma and pain linger even after the war.

Notes:

Prompt For Kataang Week 2021 Friday July 20: Healing

i’m probably used every variation of the world heal i’ve probably wrote it a million times, honestly i always do so bad at these content weeks idk why, they’re probably short and not as detailed as i would like but oh well
And yes the title is from Christina Perri's song human, sUe Me I lIkE iT oK

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Katara was a healer, she thought she knew this as soon as she used her waterbending to heal her burns. Katara thought she knew healing when she had saved her friends and healed their injuries countless times.

Truth was Katara had always been a healer. She had been a healer when her mother died and Sokka and Dad were grieving. Dad, Sokka, and Gran Gran had been a healer for her in turn.

So when the war was over and the cries of the battlefield and the raging of death and destruction had ceased, what was there left?

Only silence,

Only silence left to fill up the void.

But the void left behind by the war could not be patched with emptiness.

So when the war was over and they could no longer ignore their pain, who would heal them? Who was going to tell them it was going to be ok?

After the war, the only thing Ozai left behind was broken pieces, the entire world had to pay the price. She looked at her friends, her found family and looked at the scars the war left behind.

Scars she couldn’t heal even though she’s a healer.

Toph and Suki had hard experiences on the battlefield and witnessed friends in danger.

Sokka and herself lost a mother to a fire nation, had their father go off to war and a tribe left without waterbenders. 

Zuko whose family had abused him at every turn and had damaged him beyond repair. The scar as proof of his father’s cruelty.

Aang,

The once childish cheerful boy in the iceberg

Had matured into the Avatar in the span of a year.

She wonders how he’ll recover from the wounds of losing his entire culture and family along with his race. Now that he no longer has an overarching goal to focus on, how is he going to repair himself mentally?

She remembered after the defeat of Firelord Ozai, how she healed injured soldiers on their side. Then watched as Aang announced his triumph and she smiled at him. Aang smiled at her back with such weariness in his eyes. Too many horrors have been witnessed during the war and many they will not forget.

She knows this is something she can’t heal right away.

She can heal physical wounds, she’s done it ever since she began her journey of becoming a master waterbender. Her abilities were most important when Azula’s bolt of lightning struck down the only hope this world had for the future.

The only hope she had for the future.

Katara revived Aang with the spirit water from the Oasis. She remembered the tears of relief she cried when it worked and Aang would be ok. She cared for him while he laid unconscious on a bed, continuously bending water over the wound that would probably scar. She had constantly worried that he would never wake up. She had even prayed to whatever spirits who would listen that Aang would make it through.

She couldn’t bear to lose him then and she never will be.

She wants to cry knowing they’ll never be ok again but she stays strong for Aang.

As Ozai lay on the ground, what little power he had ripped away from him. Aang stands there defiant and unbreakable, but still lost and very much still so broken. Katara wants to help him because she’s a healer and she’s his friend. She reaches out and grabs his hand and caresses it gently, trying to ignore the blush that heats up her cheeks.

Aang finally looks her in the eyes and a little light comes back in those hollow eyes.

 

Everything gets a little better after Zuko’s coronation. Everyone and everything seems a bit happier and a bit more hopeful. Maybe it finally clicked in everyone’s minds that the war was really over for real and Zuko was not a tyrant like his father.

The Avatar and the Firelord standing there as a beacon of a dawn of a new era of love and peace. Katara’s heart explodes with pride and joy and she gives a wave and a proud smile at Aang. He looked so handsome in his traditional formal Air Nomad robes and her heart fluttered when he smiled back.

She was glad she brought him a little moment of calm in the chaos that is the coronation. She hopes that the small show of support helped Aang on that stage. She cares so much about him as they’ve grown to be best friends.

Maybe more than friends.

As Zuko steps down and Aang follows suit, while everyone swarms them, Aang only has his eyes on Katara. He thanks her for that nod of encouragement back on the stage. All Katara could do was thank him back for...everything. Tears were shed by everyone, a collective feeling of hope is shared between all of them. Katara’s laughing, crying and she feels like she’s dying. 

This time Aang is the one who holds her steady and she buries her face in his chest. Aang smells like Cinnamon incense and she lets herself stay in that position longer. Aang then holds her up and supports her by the shoulders.

“Hey it’s ok”Aang assures her as he smiles softly at her. 

His grip steadying her and grounding her to the earth and preventing her from drifting. Katara welcomes this anchor or else she might collapse. She doesn’t know why she suddenly feels emotional.

Maybe it’s because she no longer had to put her walls up.

Katara cries harder and Aang holds her tight. Everyone cheers and Sokka wants to go to the coronation party so he can eat.

Aang made a joke about how he could finally call Zuko Firelord Hotman. Everyone burst into laughter and Zuko barely seemed annoyed. He surprisingly allowed the nickname no matter how much it wounded his pride. And this small feeling of sunshine, this laughter free of worry or care, felt amazing.

Maybe everyone was healing ok after all.

After the rush of dealing with foreign affairs and world policy and rebuilding the world from scratch, everyone needed this tranquil time at Iroh’s tea shop. This shop is noisy and chaotic in its own way but in a good way. It’s filled with joy and fun times rather than the grim faces and dark tone of the war council. 

Zuko’s having a hard time dealing with the shattered country that Ozai left behind. He’s been spending sleepless nights talking to diplomats and ambassadors and working on paperwork. Sometimes Mai is the only one who can talk to him while he’s like this. It’s nice to see him seem so relaxed around them. Suki and her Kyoshi Warriors have been around the world on humanitarian missions with Sokka joining her. Toph has been searching for Metalbending students around the Earth Kingdom. Katara helped her dad and Sokka rebuild the Water Tribe. Things are finally starting to look better for everyone.

Now she’s here, being served jasmine tea. Like they’re all in their own little bubble, separate from the noise of the rest of the world. The tea shop is its own kind of noise.

Though all she can hear in the chaos is Aang.

All she wants to hear is Aang’s voice, telling her all the sweet words.

All that she wants to focus on at the moment is him. Just as she predicted, the end of the war has given Katara clarity on her feelings, and Katara is sure this time.

Aang gets up from his position and Katara’s eyes can’t help but follow him. Katara watches carefully as Aang walks outside and gazes into the sunset. She then followed him out, her green dress illuminated in the last breath of sunlight before nightfall. She and Aang share an intimate moment, a brief feeling of understanding.

Of love.

Then they share their first kiss.

Lips hot and sweet like summer blossoms, tongue in her mouth like humid rainfall.

This moment could last forever as time seems irrelevant. The only thing Katara feels is Aang and the warmth of their faces pressing together and his arms around her. He pulls her closer and tightens his hold. Katara doesn’t open her eyes because if she did Aang might just fade away. Maybe she’d realize this is a dream and not reality. If it is a dream, it’s one she never wants to wake up from.

But she opens her eyes to see Aang’s silver greys staring back at her with a love she reciprocates. She’s happy to see that his eyes seem unburdened and less tormented. When he smiles, all bright and happy, filled with an innocence that she’d never thought she’d see again, all Katara can think about is her love for him.

She never wants to let go.

Thunder boomed, lightning cracked and rain poured in an eternal dance. All of them were at Zuko’s family house on Ember Island, Sokka and Sukki were there too. Zuko and Mai stayed for a bit but then had to return to the Fire Nation capital early. Toph opted to leave to teach her students at her metalbending academy.

Aang looked out the window and the flashes of lightning were illuminated in his eyes. Katara was lying on the bed, reading a waterbending scroll.

“You ever wonder why us?”Aang asked, his voice breaking the haunting silence.

Aang stared at her with such turmoil in his eyes as he asked her. Katara looked up at him and tried to give a reassuring glance. Katara could tell that what Aang needed at the moment was for her to listen.

“Why did destiny choose us to save the world?”Aang continued, getting a desperate look on his face. 

He started pacing around the room, his body shrouded in shadow. Katara could feel his agitation from where she sat and her concern grew.

“It’s just when I took Ozai’s bending, it almost destroyed me and in those moments I thought maybe that I made a mistake, that it wasn’t worth it, that I-”

Aang broke off mid-sentence as he started to hyperventilate. Katara felt a rush of panic and brought her hands to his shoulders to ground him and calm him down. As soon as Aang’s breathing became less erratic, Katara thought it best to comfort him.

“Hey it’s going to be ok, Aang”Katara whispered words of comfort to him, wrapping her arms around him. 

She desperately wished she could take his pain away. But she knew the only thing she could do was be there for him in the moment.

“A part of me thinks that it was the right move, for sticking to my philosophies and beliefs that my people have instilled in me”

Katara nodded in acknowledgement and understanding dawned on her. At that moment, she saw Aang’s thoughts so clearly. Even if Ozai was in prison, his torment was lasting on his victims.

“But another part wonders how selfish it was, I wasn’t able to make my spirit unbendable until the last minute and then I would’ve died and I would’ve left the world without the Avatar”

Katara was a healer. She brings out her water pouch and heals physical wounds with just bending. But she knows no amount of waterbending will heal mental wounds.

She sat on the bed, her hand smoothing the covers, while the other hand held Aang’s. She watched his eyes and she saw the boy that she once knew desperately wanted to come back. Aang never wanted to be the Avatar and have the responsibility of the world’s future thrusted on his shoulders.

“Aang, you are one of the most selfless people I’ve ever known, and I trust you with my life, I know you didn’t make that decision lightly and I know you would never intentionally hurt me”

Katara knew when someone needed to be comforted, starting with Sokka and herself when their mom died, and then when their father left. Seeing Aang be vulnerable, lay his pain and trauma in front of her so openly, trust her with all of his heart, made Katara’s heart ache.

Aang cried in her arms and Katara held him tighter. That night was an tumultuous and emotional one that they won’t forget for a while. They woke up to the sun peeking through the curtain and the rosy pinks and oranges bathing the room in light. They found themselves wrapped in each other's arms. A few passionate loving kisses were shared that morning.

Katara was a healer, her journey starting from finding the boy in the iceberg, to Avatar Aang saving the world taught her that.

Katara was a healer but maybe she couldn’t help everyone.

She knew that even if she couldn’t heal Aang, that moment was what he needed.

Katara would heal Aang, not just because she was a healer, but also because she loved him.

Love was the start of recovery.

Notes:

idk but my fics for fanfiction weeks ARE ALWAYS TOO SHORTTTTTTTTTT UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i'm very detail oriented and i'm nont satisfied with this so i might edit it but oh well

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