Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When you read the card left on your table your heart fell into the pits of your stomach. You must have read it 5 times over.

He was back.

The room was dark, only just getting home from work. You hadn’t even turned any of the lights on before you noticed the card just sat there. You could feel the chill run down your spine, the same one you usually felt when he was around.

It’d been a few months now since he last made himself known, it was the longest he’d been away for. So it was inevitable that he’d make himself known again, but a small part of you hoped that this would be the last time.

No more running, no more moving, no more watching every step you take on your way to work. Your only saving grace was that there was no pictures this time along with the letter.

The last time he sent you a letter it was accompanied by photos of yourself. Nothing explicit like his words. Just you doing your normal day to do day activities. Working, eating, walking down the street there was a picture for everything you did with your spare time.

As soon as they came in you knew you had to move again.

The first time you moved you didn’t actually know he was around. It was always just a feeling. You always felt somebody watching you, everytime you turned around you felt eyes on you. The second move was when the pictures started coming in.

You scolded yourself for not connecting the dots earlier. Some of your underwear went missing a few days ago and that should have been a sure sign of him being back. He’d taken them before, from your last house but last time he’d made it much more obvious.

He’d left a note simply saying ‘thank you’ on top of your coffee table leaving a trail of flower petals towards your washing basket that at the time only had your previous day’s clothes in, and the only thing missing was your underwear. This time you barely even noticed they’d gone but still, this had been a huge part of your life for such a long time so how could you have not realised or even considered it?

How did you become so complacent over the last few months?

When you realised you were missing them it was only because they were your favourite ones but you had convinced yourself they just got eaten by your washing machine.

You felt a lot of emotions bubble up inside of you but the strongest one wasn’t fear as it had been previously.

No, You ran out of fear long ago.

You were mad, angry that he had yet again interfered with your complacent life. Just when you thought you’d managed to skip out on this part of your life. It came back, and it hit you like a ton of bricks. You groaned in frustration thinking about it and his eyes flashed in your mind for the first time in a long time

It wasn’t like you had never seen him before so you always had something to go off when you thought about how annoying his presence was in your life. Never fully, but you had caught him out of the corner of your eyes a couple of times. Scurrying away when you hear the click of a camera, disappearing into crowds when you turn and notice him following you in the streets.

But the best view you’d ever had of him was one you’d never forget. His eyes were etched into your mind; never to be forgotten.

Peaking through your window. You didn’t understand how you didn’t notice him earlier. It was back when he was never an issue. You couldn’t even confirm it was really him, there was no proof but you just knew. You can feel it in the tips of your fingers. Shame started to run down you like ice when you thought back.

It was a hot day, you were off work but had no intention of doing anything at all, all you wanted to do was stay at home and relax.

Let’s face it, you hadn’t had sex in months. You hadn’t managed to find time to meet a guy and go on dates as work was pushing you hard on your shifts, changing them without warning on a constant and you were lucky if you could get 2 days off a week at this rate.

You’d had that feeling at the bottom of your stomach for a few weeks now and you tried your hardest to ignore it. There was no point dwelling on sex anymore. Your love life would forever be stale.

But you just couldn’t ignore it anymore.

The ache so prominent that it was getting to your head.

The smallest things were starting to drive your body crazy to a ridiculous degree. A faint touch on your waist by one of the men you worked with and you’re sure you’d slip out a moan.

Not to mention how wound up you were getting just from watching a stupid sex scene on TV.

You were officially a mess.

You decided touching yourself on your day off wouldn’t hurt, but you knew it wouldn’t be good enough. If you were being honest with yourself you rarely touched yourself and you were embarrassed to admit that you weren’t very good at it.

A woman of your age should know how to please herself but, you just didn’t. It never compared to when other people would do it. You were lucky if you could even make yourself cum but with how you were feeling lately you knew you had to try. You were on a mission.

You laid on top of your bed, bedroom tidy and sheets freshly washed, in an underwear set that was red and lacey.

You knew you didn’t have to dress up just for yourself but you thought it would help set the mood. Besides you’d convinced yourself it was self-care at its finest.

You put a video up on the TV just opposite of the bed, a pretty tame video of a man and a woman having sex, he laying her on her side one leg in the air while he thrust slowly inside her.

Your stomach was already in knots and you couldn’t believe how quickly it affected you.

You slowly pushed your hands down into your underwear and started making circles on your clit. You laid on your side facing your window imagining yourself getting fucked like that, it had been so long.

You couldn’t remember how long you touched yourself for but you did know that it was a long time, it felt good but stil not good enough. The feeling was amazing but dull, that was until you noticed something just outside your window.

You were being watched.

The person was wearing a bucket hat and a black face mask but his eyes were fixated on you and unmissable, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from him, the dark brown eyes you imagined were on above you pounding into you like the video you were watching.

You don’t know why it did, and you’d never admit it, but it turned you on like crazy. The idea of him watching you and enjoying himself doing it was wild to you. He must be enjoying it or he wouldn’t still be standing there.

You came all over your fingers at the idea of him. They were so deep and he was staring so intently you couldn’t help but let out a long drawn out moan. Your eyes rolled into your head and your breathing stopping for a second.

When you looked back out he was gone and you were ashamed. You’d never been ashamed of your sexual desire before and you’d be damned if anybody made you feel like you should be, but this was different. This wasn’t just a desire or a fantasy. This was real life.

You just came while somebody outside watched you and you loved it.

You scrunched the card up into a ball, throwing it across the room.

“Fuck,” you couldn’t keep the anger inside you squashed down. How and why does he keep doing this to you?

You’re not sure if you caused it that night, or if he’d been following you even before then but you knew that night started something in him that you would never understand. It was from that night onwards you got your first note. A simple one left under your door

‘Thank you, baby.’

The words he’d written to you more than any other.

You looked at the scrunched up paper you threw away and opened it up, reading it one more time; knowing you’d have to keep it for evidence. Why were you reading it again? Over and over again? Words etching themselves into your mind.

The words written out to you in white ink on black card.

Thank you, baby.

I loved my gift. I know you left them for me, you knew I’d come and get them. I touched myself all night with them wrapped around my cock. You have the sexiest panties.

I can’t wait to smell that pussy up close, taste it the way I know you want me to. I’ll make you feel better than he ever did. I’ll feel you cum around my tongue.

They still smell like you, I’ll bring them back I promise I just can’t bring myself to let them go yet.

And I’ll pay to get the lock fixed on your door, you must have forgotten to leave it open for me again but luckily I managed to get in.

You looked so beautiful again today, I wish I’d have seen you up close. I promise, I won’t stay away much longer and we will finally get to see each other.

Finally get to touch each other.

Till next time.

Jk.
There was always 3 things he would mention in his notes without fail:

‘Thank you, baby.’ As if all of this was your own doing, as if you did it for him. He was convinced your life was his show.

Sex. Every letter became more explicit with the details of things he wanted to do to you. You wished the things he said had no interest to you but certain things he described made your pussy clench. You didn’t want him, all he’d done wasmake you miserable but you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t good with words.

‘JK’. He always signed every note with ‘JK’. Obviously his initials, but didn’t know a single person in your life with the same initials so it was still all a mystery to you.

You looked around trying to find anything else he may have taken while he was here tonight, you’d been gone all day at work and now that it was pushing on 11 o’clock your eyes were growing weak and heavy but you were too annoyed to act upon it.

You planned on coming home, having a shower and heading straight to bed. It was only when you got home and noticed that the lock on your front door had been bashed in that you knew your plans for the night wouldn’t be going ahead and that familiar, almost forgotten, feeling of being watched washed back over you.

You noticed the things he had done, he’d tidied around; making sure everything was clean and ready for your return. He seemed so domestic and it infuriated you even more. Trying to play off like he was the perfect partner.

You were sick of this cat and mouse game.

“Who are you, what do you want?” You exclaimed out loud, unsure why exactly you were talking out loud. You didn’t know if he could hear you or not. You weren’t sure if he’d even be watching you right now but if this was the only way you’d get to talk to him then it was worth a shot.

“I don’t know you. Why are you following me?” Before you knew it you’d been rambling on in your bedroom for t20 minutes to somebody you couldnt even see. You were face down in your bed crying and as the tears fell from your face onto the pillow you slowly fell asleep.

…

As you woke up the sun was starting to peak its way through your curtains and you could feel the dried up residue of your tears on your face. You felt grotty, disgusting, and you were starting to cuss yourself out for breaking down instead of getting the shower you knew you needed.

As you moved, the card you were reading last night seemed to move along with you, stuck to your cheek. You grumbled as you pulled it off knowing you’d have to put it away with all the others.

You stood up and stretched your body out, you already missed the ignorance you used to feel when you thought this was all behind you but now you were waking up again wondering where he might be and if he was near you.

You ran your hands through your hair trying to relax yourself as you started to walk towards the familiar little box that was hidden away in your bedside draw. As you opened it you saw all the black cards with the same white writing.

‘Thank you, baby.

I loved watching you get changed last night, I’m glad you left the curtains open..’

‘Thank you, baby.

I like this house better, the lighting shows off your pretty face….’

‘Thank you. baby.

I can’t stop thinking about that sweet, sweet pussy of yours. I can’t wait for just a taste…’

You threw in the newest letter and locked the box away back in your drawer. You kept them for evidence. You knew the police weren’t going to do anything unless a crime had actually been committed and as it stood you hadn’t even seen JK properly in the flesh so for now you kept everything and anything that could be used against him.

You were knocked out of your thoughts with your phone buzzing on your bed behind you. You jumped ever so slightly taking a second to realise what it was. Suddenly the realisation that you should be at work right now kicked in.

“Shit.”

You leaped over to your phone and answered it; begrudgingly knowing that you were going to get screamed at over the other end. You suddenly regret3: not getting that shower you knew you needed last night as you were now running to work as grotty and grimy as ever.

…

Your day couldn’t have gone much worse, stuck in your thoughts about the previous night’s discovery, not to mention that countless amount of customers you had earlier just didn’t seem to want to be nice or play ball. You’d been shouted at left and right and you had never wanted a day to end as much as you did today at work. So to say that you weren’t exactly in a steller mood would be an understatement.

As you went to push your broken door to enter your house you wacked your head on the door as it stayed tightly shut. You cursed to yourself looking around at what it had been stuck on but as you looked at the lock you had noticed it had been fixed.

You didn’t need to think twice about how it had happened. JK clearly came back and stuck to his word of getting it fixed. You didn’t know how you felt about this. On one hand getting a door lock fixed was extremely expensive so you were happy you didn’t have to pay for it. On the other, it was fixed by your stalker that you’d never met and had been giving you hell for the last 5 years, not to mention he’d also been the person to break it.

You looked around hoping he at least had the decency to leave you a key and not just lock you out of your own house. You wouldn’t be surprised if he claimed it as his own and was currently sitting in there in a pile full of your underwear writing out those stupid letters.

The thought made you laugh, just a little bit. You never knew if you felt bad for JK or not. He obviously had some mental issues that seemingly had never been addressed, being a stalker didn’t exactly come around with a clean bill of mental health but at the same time mental illness or not what he was doing was disgusting and wrong and if it was any of your friends in this position you’d be worried sick.

That was why you decided it would be for the best that you not to mention it to any of your newer friends. The less people knew the less worry it caused.

JK was your worry and your secret to bear.

You thought it would be better that way. That way nobody asked you questions and reminded you of him on a constant basis. You only had one friend that knew about him and you barely saw her anymore. Mainly due to the fact that every time you did she ended up mentioning him and it became too much for you to deal with. When you were out you wanted to forget about him the best you could. Not have to look around constantly making sure he wasn’t there.

As you looked around for the key so that you could actually get back in. There was nothing on the floor and nothing around that was obvious, that was until you noticed the little black box that had been nailed to your garden fence.

Your new house was very small, but just enough for everything you needed and in such a quiet neighbourhood that you actually really enjoyed it compared to the other places you had lived so far but your favourite thing about it was the little green fence that closed it off from everybody.

As you walked over you noticed there was a key pad, it looked like a key hider. Down the side of it where the numbers 19970901. You punched the numbers into the keypad, opened the box and sure enough inside was the key to your new lock.

You didn’t think too hard about it, not willing to waste more time standing around outside when all you wanted to do was get inside and not have to think and finally get that shower you’d been waiting for.

As you opened the door everything seemed completely normal and you breathed a breath of relief. You couldn’t help but wonder when he would come and leave you something. It wasn’t something he had done loads but it was definitely something he’d done more times than you would have liked. Once was more than you’d have liked honestly.

You threw your keys, phone and everything you’d managed to empty out of your pockets from the day onto the coffee table in your front room and headed straight to the bathroom, running yourself a bath.

You went to get yourself a fresh set of comfortable clothing for when you got out of your bath from your bedroom and on the bed you saw something.

You immediately huffed out in annoyance ‘what now’ was all that came to mind when you picked it up. Grabbing it fast.

A phone.

A brand new mobile phone just laid out on your bed, your first thought was that he had left it, but that couldn’t be; he’d never been that careless, why would he start now?

You unlocked it, looking at the screen but it was passcode protected. The lock screen though, that was a sight you didn’t think you’d ever get out of your head.

It was him.

Just a normal, candid picture of himself. You’d recognise his eyes anywhere, his hair seems to be on the slightly longer side, half of it pulled up into a ponytail, while his curly fringe was prominent across his forehead. His fingers in front of the camera formed a love heart. He looked so— cute and innocent.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

His eyes were so big and round and his lips so soft. Shocked didn’t do your feelings justice right now. You’d never seen his face before.

In the 5 years this had been going you’d tried to think about who he could be, what he looked like and how you’d be able to catch him but now he’d left a phone on your bed with a picture of himself without a care in the world.

You stood still for a few seconds, unsure of what to do with it. You could see there was a message on the home screen and knew it was for you but without knowing the passcode there was no way you’d be able to read it.

Did you even want to read it?

This was a fight you’d had with yourself from the very beginning. Since the first letter he left you. In all fairness the first few couldn’t be helped. You didn’t know what they were.

Just a random letter posted to you but as they went on you knew very well what they would be and what they would say and yet you kept reading them. You could very well have ignored it, leaving them outside where he used to leave them before he seemed to get braver, it would make it known that you hadn’t read them.

Not engaging. That’s what the police advised when you first went to them but you couldn’t help it. Your curiosity always got the better of you. You believed it was better to know what was going on than ignoring it all.

Besides, what if one of them randomly said he was planning on coming and killing you in your sleep that night, wouldn’t it be best for you to know?

But none of them ever said anything like that, in fact they were always the opposite. Many times he expressed his desire to sneak into your room at night but never to kill you.

Never to do anything other than take you.

And now? Now you had a face to put next to the words that went around in your head. A face you very much weren’t expecting. The features of his face did not match the passion in his words. The face being cute and soft but the words. The words. They seemed to belong to a deprived and desperate man.

You heard a bang in the bathroom and remembered that you were running a bath, as you run back into the room you turned off the tap and picked up the shampoo bottle that conveniently pulled you out of your thoughts.

You looked around before you got undressed, it’s not like you would see him. You never did, you never understood how he was always there and yet never in sight.

But you took the next hour in your bath to relax and forget everything happening. It was an impossible task that you couldn’t actually manage but you felt like for 3 minutes out of the hour you just nearly, nearly, didn’t think about him.

There was nothing you loved more than being wrapped up in comfortable clothing in your living room with a warm cup of hot chocolate while watching the TV. Usually.

But currently all you could think about was the phone you’d left in your bedroom. You decided not to go back to it after you finished your bath, walking into the front room and trying to keep your distance by not paying attention to it but as always you never managed to stay away.

You quickly rushed back into your bedroom to pick it up and bring in back into your living room, this time leaving it next to you on the other side of the couch; nursing your hot chocolate as you stared at it. You were sat there for a total of 5 minutes giving a phone the stink eye and you’d never felt more ridiculous.

You quickly picked it up and started to examine it in more detail. Moving it around in your hand you could tell it was expensive. A brand new model in a pretty sky blue colour. It was brand new, not a mark on it as it gleamed in the reflection of the light coming from your TV. You hadn’t turned any of your lights on as you preferred sitting in the dark.

You always found it to be calming for you and as the sun had started to set there wasn’t much light coming from anywhere else.

As you pressed the power button on the side the screen came to life once again.

The phone lit up the room, the brightness obviously turned up to max. His face looked back at you. You wished you didn’t find him attractive but you did, every time you sas his eyes you remembered one of the only times you’d managed to get yourself off and if you were being honest with yourself it was also the last time you managed.

You hadn’t braved touching yourself since as every time you did you felt guilty; worried you’d think of him again to try and get yourself to completion. You’d been with other men since but your G spot must’ve been harder to find than the loch ness monster because nobody even managed to get you even close. Your orgasm was basically a myth nowadays. Unless you thought back to that night.

You shook your head knowing you had to stop thinking about it. As you looked at the passcode you realised it was 8 numbers long. The longest passcode to a phone ever, you thought to yourself as you rolled your eyes.

Why wouldn’t he leave you the password?

That didn’t make sense for his usual narrative, why would he leave it if he didn’t want you to get into it?

Then it hit you. Like a metaphorical fish to the face.

You stood up, slid into your slippers and dressing gown and made your way to the door; popping on the light on your own phone for a better view. The one that now you looked at it looked cheap and crappy in comparison, nevertheless you made your way to the key lock on your fence. You snapped a quick picture of the code written on the side.

If any of your neighbours were looking at you now you’d be embarrassed. Looking like a grandma had come to rob your house but you didn’t care, you wanted to get out and in as quickly as possible as it was dark and cold outside.

You sat back down on the sofa and typed the code from the picture into the new phone and right before your very eyes it unlocked.

The home screen was the same as the lock screen, the same picture of him that you’d already become accustomed to.

The first thing you thought to do was read the text that he’d left, it was the whole reason you wanted to get into the phone in the first place.

Mine: I miss you, baby.

I got the lock fixed like I promised. I wasn’t going to just leave it broken so that anybody could get to you. I need to keep my baby safe but you knew I would so I know you’re not surprised.

You looked so tired at work today all I wanted to do was lay you down with your head in my lap so I could stroke your hair and whisper sweet nothings into your ear while you slept.
Or I could fuck you to sleep. Fuck you so deep and slow so that your eyes roll back into your skull like I know they do when you cum. It’d feel so good, your pussy wrapped nice and tightly around me.

I’d lay you down in that position you love, on your side with your leg dropped over my shoulder as I push into you so nice and slow. Have you moaning, baby, you’d milk my cock so nice but enough about that.

Best to leave a little bit to the imagination so that when I finally do have you. When I finally find the courage to come to you like I know you’re waiting for me to do. I can really show you pleasure like you’ve never known.
You know I could. I was made for you. My cock was made to me nestled in those pretty little pussy lips of yours.
I’m so sorry I’ve been a coward up till now but that’s why I got you this phone, so I could finally talk to you.
I’ll call you tonight, finally talk to you again.
I miss you.
JK.

So many emotions went through you at once. The idea of actually talking to him scared the hell out of you, what exactly would you say?

‘Hello, who the hell are you?’

You’d wanted to talk to him for so long, to ask him to leave you alone but you’d never imagined it like this.

You were trying to ignore the feeling of lust that his words instilled in you. You’d never known somebody with such a dirty mouth or way with words and no matter how much you tried to ignore it every time you read one of his explicit fantasies you couldn’t help but let the idea of it reel through your mind.

As you were trying, and failing, to not think about anything sexual the phone buzzed in your hand. You were expecting it to be the phone call and you could feel your heartbeat in your throat; but it wasn’t. It was a picture message.

A picture of himself, his face and nothing more along with some text.

This picture was different to the one left on your home screen but strikingly similar as well. His hair was the same, half in a ponytail with his curly fringe but this time, the expression on his face was sharp. His mouth slightly open, eyes looking straight into the camera. The words at the bottom of the picture reading ‘11 O’clock’

You felt sick with nerves, the smart thing would be to ignore the phone call all together and take the phone to the police station now that you had a lot more evidence under your belt than last time. You knew you should but for some reason you clutched the phone tight in your hands as if somebody was going to rip it away from you.

You keep looking back at the picture.

‘Fuck hes hot,’ is all you could think. You could barely believe it was the same cute boy on your background. You started looking everywhere on the phone, in the files and in the pictures and much to your surprise you found a video.

Just one.

It was the only thing you could find on the phone but he was sat on a beautiful white sofa, green plants towered behind him and white curtains crossed the full wall there too; it looked expensive and beautiful. And he was adorned in a pinstripe shirt and pant set, so loose fitting that if they weren’t so expensive looking you could picture them being pajamas, and by the looks of it he was singing.

There was no sound on the phone, the set volume right down but you could see he was singing. You were scared to turn the volume up, the idea of hearing his voice one that you were too scared to face.

As you were watching and contemplating turning the volume up the phone started to vibrate in your hand and as you watched it you saw ‘JK’ flash up on the screen with the green and red buttons ready for you to answer or decline. You just stared; so unsure of what you wanted to do.

You knew you shouldn’t answer it, everything was screaming at you not to answer that call. But, and it was a big but, you wanted to. You wanted to know, wanted to hear him, wanted to talk to him and ask him all the questions that came up in your head.

You must’ve been staring at the phone longer than you thought though, because the vibrating suddenly stopped and you panicked, it was then and there that you made up your mind that you were going to answer it; sadly you decided too late.

You couldn’t believe your own train of thought but you were actually disappointed you missed it.

You sat, looking at the phone hoping that he would try again.

‘What’s wrong with me?’ You sat there, annoyed at yourself for wanting him to call back. You actually wanted to answer the phone and question him. It had nothing to do with the need to hear his voice and hear his words.

You feel the phone vibrate again and looked down straight away. You were convinced you’d answer it quickly but it wasn’t as quick as you thought, still filled with trepidation as you slowly placed your thumb on the green phone image; answering the call.

Your heart was beating so strongly as you answered, knees now pulled up to your chest as you sat on your sofa. You saw that the call had connected when the timer started up at the top of your phone below his name but you hesitated putting the phone to your ear.

What do you say? What will he say?

You’d made a terrible mistake but you couldn’t go back on it now. You weren’t scared of him anymore, remember. You were strong and you were powerful and no matter what this was your chance, finally to get some answers.

You hear a voice on the other end, so soft and quiet you were not even 100% sure you had heard it. You slowly brought the device up to your ear and just listened.

“___?”
“___, baby, are you there?”

You heard his voice and you gave out an extremely quiet gasp, his voice was light in your ear. You could tell he was talking quietly and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was nervous as well, but he couldn’t be. Not after everything. He had no right to be.

The words got lost in your voice, that strong confidence you felt was faltering fast and you didn’t know what to say, luckily he beat you to it.

“Was that you baby? Come on talk to me, I’m right here, ___.”

Hearing him say your name caught you off guard way more than you thought it would but the more he talked the sweeter his voice sounded. You couldn’t let yourself get pulled in, you wouldn’t be a victim of stockholm syndrome

“Who are you?”

You hated to admit it but your voice came out so timid.

“Baby, you sound so sweet,” he sounded genuine and that concerned you, he let out the smallest sigh. “You know who I am, don’t you, baby?” You could tell by his voice he was desperate, like a kid asking for the last bit of ice-cream.

You heard him deeply breathing on the other end, his breathing was much deeper than his voice, yet again throwing you off guard. You were going to have to find your composure here.

“JK, you’re JK. You’re the person who’s been following me around for 5 years.”

You managed to sound slightly sterner, you were going to say what you wanted to say to him even if you struggled through it.

“Can you blame me, ___? You’re so cute and perfect and the way you look at me— I’m sorry it had taken so long for me to talk to you. I know you’ve been waiting for me,” his words rushed out of his mouth, almost like he was panicking about what you were saying and you barely said anything at all.

“I-I have no idea who you are,” you tried to sound a little bit more delicate. You didn’t know why but you didn’t want to hurt him, at the same time, you didn’t know what else to say. He kept alluding to you wanting him but, you have no idea how or why he thought that. You’d never done anything to make him think otherwise.

“You do baby, you do. You remember seeing me don’t you? Outside your window. I knew from that moment you wanted me back,” his voice turned into a whine and you let out a small gasp.

The last thing you wanted to do was think about that while you were talking to him. He had your kryptonite tumbling out of his lips. You had to stop it before it got out of hand

“JK, shh shh, JK, what- what’s your real name?” You weren’t sure why that was what you asked. His name didn’t matter to you, you just wanted to calm him down and divert the conversation.

“Jeongguk, say it back to me baby, please,” the whine was still in his voice but it was much calmer. You could feel the need and you didn’t want to deny him.

“Jeongguk, is that right? That’s your name? Jeongguk, tell me about yourself,” the plan was just to get him talking enough so you could calm yourself down and figure out how you were going to ask questions that you wanted to ask without him acting up.

The idea of him getting angry really did scare you even though at the moment he seemed more likely to cry than shout. You knew you couldn’t read him though, after all these years and past few days especially. You knew there must be more than one side of him.

“You don’t remember me at all, do you, baby? That’s okay, I forgive you. Only because I know you still want me after all these years.” Every word came out like a lullaby, it made you think of the video of him singing and you wished you’d listened with the volume up. “What do you want to know, baby? I’ll tell you anything. I trust you. Just keep saying my name please. It sounds so good on your lips.”

Anybody listening in would have thought you were having phone sex with the things that he was saying. Was he really this into just your voice alone? The desperation was always there but this is a whole new level.

“Erm, I don’t know. Erm,” you stumbled around your question.

What do you want to know about him?

“You sound so nervous. You don’t have to be nervous with me, ___. You can trust me, I promise. I’ll be good to you. I’ll be your good boy.”

Your eyes practically rolled to the back of your head after he said that. You had no idea what’d gotten into you. This was JK, the same JK that’d been following you around for years. That’d been leaving you notes making you scared for your life. The reason you’d moved house twice.

“Do you like your new phone? I got it just for you, I saw that yours was getting a little old and I thought you deserved a present, even personalised it for you,” his words were laced with pride.

“You didn’t have to do that, Jeongguk,” you heard an ever so slight groan when you said his name. “You don’t even know me.”

“I do know you, baby. I know your name, I know your birthday. Where you work and what you do in your spare time. I know you still doodle on your hands when there’s a pen around and you’re bored. I know you make cute little noises when you lipsync away with your headphones in and I know I can make you cum with just one look. I know so much.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You knew he knew a lot about you, he always left little details in the notes he would leave but you didn’t know it was to this extent.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to bring up that night again but now I’m talking to you I just can’t get it out of my mind. Do you remember? Of course you do. I wish I could have acted there and then and come to you like you were asking me to. Your stare said everything. But I couldn’t. I was too shy, I’d do anything to change it,” he sulked.

“Jeongguk stop, you shouldn’t. You’ve been stalking me— scaring me,” you didn’t want to stop him and it took every little bit of strength you had but you had to be realistic, this wasn’t some little stalker fantasy; this was real life.

“No, baby, I’m so sorry I never meant to make you scared. Never meant to stalk you. I was just appreciating from afar. I’m sorry it took so long but I’m here now. I’m here for you. I’m never gonna let you go now that I have you.”

“You don’t have me, you’re on the phone to me. I don’t know you and you really don’t know me— no matter what you think.” You were being strong now and you were proud of yourself, that was until the next words that came out of his mouth.

“I know how you smell, I know how your pussy looks clenching and cumming. It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen, the way your jaw dropped and your eyes rolled back— I think about it all the time. I stroke my cock thinking about it. I’m a bad boy I know but I can’t help it. You’re so sexy and perfect and I just wanna stuff that pussy.”

A moan escaped your lips and you regretted it even though it wasn’t intentional. Still you clapped your hand over your mouth, releasing your knees that had been held up by your arms.

“Fuck, baby, yes. Moan for me, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. Want you to feel good and moan over me. Did you moan when you read my words? I always imagined you enjoying them as much as I did, as much as I enjoyed smelling your panties. I never knew how much I loved sniffing your panties until I found yours the first time. God, I couldn’t get enough, I never will. Did you touch yourself imagining me?”

You didn’t but you wanted to. When you read the cards he would leave you, you always felt a tingle that you wanted to sort for yourself but even if you had given in and touched yourself you knew you wouldn’t be able to give yourself what you wanted. It would never be good enough.

“I didn’t, I mean— I don’t. I don’t touch myself,” your words stumbled out, you didn’t want to go along with it but your mouth was betraying your brain.

“Don’t lie, baby, I know you do remember. Fuck, that beautiful pussy cumming around your fingers, it would be so much more fun if it was mine, wouldn’t it? Can’t you just picture it? My fingers dipping in and out of you, you’d ride my fingers wouldn’t you, baby?”

“Yes.”

Your response slipped out and you were stunned at yourself. What were you doing and why were you squeezing your thighs so tight?

You pictured him. Now that you could, you saw his face in the back of your mind as you started rubbing your hand over your clothed core. Your eyes closed and you gave in to yourself. It had been so long and you didn’t know if you could sit back and just deal with this feeling anymore. Not when his words were dancing round your head so beautifully.

“Jeongguk, I don’t do this, I can’t, I’m not—“ your voice got quieter and quieter as the sentence left your lips, you’d given up all hope of not going along with it but you were still embarrassed; still ashamed.

“I’m not good at it.”

“Shit, baby, I’ll make it good for you, I promise. I’ll be good for you, picture my hands inside you.”

You closed your eyes and tried your best but then you realised, you’ve never actually seen his hands properly.

“Jeongguk, I can’t imagine what I’ve never seen,” you giggled slightly. You couldn’t believe you were giggling at him. You should be screaming, not giggling.

“Oh shit, sorry, baby. Give me 2 seconds.”

He stopped talking and you could hear him fussing around with his phone. You bit your bottom lip and laid your head against the backrest of the sofa; getting yourself comfortable. You even spread your legs slightly so you could continue to palm your core.

“Check your phone, baby,” he had so much confidence in his voice now it was almost a complete 180 on how he was talking before but the tone was still the same, still that sweet voice of his.

When you checked your phone you opened the message and it was a 5 second video, his hands main frame.

You grunted when you played the video and he was there just moving his fingers around the button on his jeans stroking himself up and down, his crotch was the main shot of the video but you could see just above the line of his jeans that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, he had one knee up and the other laying across what looks like his bed. The room was dark but you could see the tattoos that littered his hands and you moaned out loud, feeling yourself getting wetter.

“Like my fingers, baby? Now you can think about them inside of you, pushing deep into your pussy. God, I think about it so much, baby. Think of how tightly you’d wrap around me.”

His words got to you like you couldn’t believe, you never thought you’d be sat here talking to him, letting him convince you to do things like this.

“Jeongguk, I- I can’t do this.”

You were horny, you were turned on. But he didn’t have to know that. He couldn’t know that. You refused to encourage his behavior no matter how much you indulged yourself in the pictures he’d put into your head but his next words caught you off guard.

“That’s okay, baby. You don’t have to do what you don’t want to, you don’t have to do anything just listen.”

He wasn’t trying to force anything on you, meanwhile he didn’t realise the lifestyle he’d already forced you into.

“Since that night all I’ve been able to think about is you.” You could hear his voice keen over, you knew he was still playing with himself. “I think about holding you tightly from behind, hand on your heart, cock inside you hearing you moan. You control me, baby. I wanna feel you cum all over me.”

You could hear his voice get desperate and whiney, his words spel up as he was talking.

“You still there, baby? Say something, please.” You weren’t going to do it; you were going to hang up the phone and put it down.

“I’m still here.”

Damn it.

“Yes, baby, just knowing you’re there proves to me your enjoying this.”

God damn it!

“I’ve got your panties wrapped around my cock, just do one thing for me baby say one thing for me.”

Absolutely not.

“What do you want me to say?”

For fuck sake!

“Tell me you’re wet for me, baby. That’s all I want you to do. All I need to hear you say. Please.”

He sounded like he was in pain, there was no other way to describe it. The whine that left his mouth. Nobody had begged you like that for anything before.

Ever.

You were sure you could have held somebody at gunpoint and they wouldn’t have begged for their life as desperately.

“Say you’re wet, baby, please.”

His whispers in the background were killer. You were wet. You were so wet. He’d managed to appeal to every need and desire you had. All you’d ever fantasized about was a gorgeous man underneath you begging for you. It was almost like he knew it.

“Please, say it.”

You wouldn’t do it. There wouldn’t be too much negative repercussion if you did, This wasn’t just any guy on the phone. This wasn’t just a little bit of fun. This was serious. This was the one person you could not engage with in this way.

“Jeong—”

“Please, tell me your pussy is wet for me.”

“I can’t.”

“I need it, I need it so bad, princess, please,” he practically cried.

“Jeongguk, I’m so wet for you,” you finally burst.

Fuck.

As you said the words your hand clapped over your mouth and you were glad it did because you weren’t able to stop the moans that came out of your mouth after the next thing you heard.

“Yes, baby, yes. Shit. I’m cumming for you, baby, I’m cumming.”

You’d never heard anything as hot as that, he was so loud it surprised you. You’d never been with somebody so vocal while they came. He was panting and moaning, you could practically hear his eyes roll to the back of his head.

When everything went silent you ended the call and threw the phone away to the side and pushed your hands down your underwear and started touching yourself. This is the safest you’d felt touching yourself in a long time. You knew he wasn’t watching. You also couldn’t alleviate the guilt you felt knowing exactly what you were thinking about was so wrong.

All you could think about was him in front of you touching himself, begging for you. For the first time in a long time your fingers dancing around your clit felt so good.

His moans rushing around in your head. If only things could have been different. Why couldn’t you have met him in different circumstances? Why did he have to be who he was, because you would kill to be with someone like him.

As you pushed your fingers inside yourself all you could think about was his fingers. Plunging deep inside you. The tattooed fingers getting wetter as they pulled out and pushed back into you.

Your head rested back on your sofa and your eyes rolled back. His words and his moans rushing over you, making your moans and whimpers even louder. You could feel the harsh sensation in the bottom of your stomach and your toes started to curl.

“Feels so good, you make me so wet,” you started to really answer him, say all the things you wish you could have while he was on the phone.

“Ah, Ah, ahhhh-”

You didn’t even feel it coming but your orgasam hit you hard. You shouted out loud while vibrating around your fingers. The intense waves of pleasure constantly washed around your body. Your high still hit for a few minutes while your fingers were still tucked away inside of you.

You removed your fingers and felt disgusted with yourself. You hopped up on wobbly legs, walking into your kitchen and washing your hands before running them through your hair to dampen it slightly and cool you off.

You just stood there, keeping a steady balance holding onto the counter next to the sink. Contemplating everything that just happened. Why did you have to say anything? Even with your conscious screaming at you to say nothing at all.

You didn’t do anything and of that you were glad, you could’ve kept your mouth shut but surely he would take your lack of involvement as your want for this not to continue, all you could do was hope.

As you walked back to the bathroom you noticed the phone had a light flashing green on it and as you picked it up and walked to your bedroom you saw there was a message. You opened the phone and glanced at it as you once again saw the, now familiar, picture of Jungkook on the lockscreen and opened the message.

Mine: Thank you, baby.
Your sweet moans are so cute even when you try and lock them back behind your hand.
You’re my princess and I’m so proud to be the one who gets you wet.
Just hearing you say that does bad, bad things to me.
Gets my heart beating so fast and makes my cock so hard.
I came so much, all over myself.
Next time I want your cum all over me.
Want to fuck you so hard you cum all over me, eat you out so good I can taste you on my lips for days.
Fuck, baby. I know you loved it as much as I did. I could tell from your whimpers.
You like hearing me beg, hearing me cum all over myself.
Make me do it in person, I’ll be everything you need me to be.
I’ll beg and scream for you.
I’ll be your good boy.
You’re sincerely,
Jeongguk.

Chapter Text

Jeongguk was a mess, laying there in his own cum. Your voice spinning in his head. He couldn’t get you out of it. He heard your moans when he came, he heard you tell him he was getting you wet. What more could a boy dream of.

Well, not a boy, not anybody. Just him. You’re his. If anybody else even thought of you he didn’t know what he’d do. You were his princess. His queen and he’d forever be your slave. Your good boy. He’d be such a good boy for you.

That’s all he’d ever wanted after all, was to be a good boy for you since the first time he saw you. You were so beautiful that it made you stand out from the crowd.

He’d be surprised if you even remembered him. It was nothing but a small get-together that your parents had arranged for close friends and family, and a lot of his parents’ church group were there along with their family. Jeongguk had never made up on his mind when it came to any religious belief before that night but when he saw you he was almost certain that God must exist as you were clearly his best creation, but then he remembered.

The words his parents would preach to him.

No, if God was real he wouldn’t deny the idea of him touching himself to you. Fucking you hard and feeling you around him. Why would anybody ever deny such a perfect image, it should be painted on buildings not classed as a sin.

He quickly figured out his stance on religion that night, God was nothing but a made up person to stop people enjoying themselves. He’d never felt such sexual desire just looking at somebody but there you were. You were so shy, stood on your own in the corner, not much different to himself across the room in the adjacent corner.

You greeted everybody politely, bowing your head and shaking hands. You had on cute little dolly shoes and a very modest black dress that fell just below your knees, not much different to what all the other women here were wearing. But he knew you weren’t religious as you didnt have a cross around your neck like nearly everybody else who was here. You must have just been a close relation to somebody. You weren’t there long, but you had never left his mind since.

From that day forward he would forever be looking for ways to see you again. After realising you were the daughter of one of his fathers close friends it gave him a way in. To his parents’ surprise it even got him to go to church a few times before he realised you never actually went yourself, it made your parents extremely proud, until he stopped going with the realisation that it was never going to get him close to you.

His next option was Facebook, quickly and easily he found you. It only took a couple of clicks and there you were on his computer. He was able to see where you were going at all times and what started as a small crush became a Facebook page that he couldn’t take his eyes away from. It became an obsession he didn’t want to shake.

You became his sin, you were the first woman he ever felt the need to touch himself over. The more he thought about the memory the harder his cock became, it felt so naughty back then when he’d look at your picture and cum all over it and now it still feels just as naughty as it did back then but this time, this time you were there with him, it may have only been over the phone but you were there whining and whimpering;telling him naughty things like he could only have dreamed about back when he was his 19 year old self.

He didn’t have much sexual experience but he knew nothing would feel better than cumming with you on the phone. Other than maybe cumming inside you.

He barely even dared dream about it but he only heard your voice up close for the first time less than half an hour ago after all and it was affecting him like crazy.

If you let him do that then what’s stopping you from wanting him in real life? What’s stopping you both from fucking each other senseless? What’s stopping him pleasing and pleasuring your body until you tell him you love him?

He couldn’t stop himself.

The rest of his night was spent touching himself, begging and mumbling for you, telling you how much he loved you in the back of his mind. Spilling him cum all over himself; wishing, even dreaming, you were there with him.

…

When you woke up, you decided you shouldn’t dwell on everything that happened the previous night. You felt guilty.

Could you really call him a stalker when you were egging him on the way you are? Yes, of course you can.

You were weak then but it wouldn’t happen again. You’d forget about it and get on with your day as usual.

Taking a deep breath, you stood up and walked into your bathroom. You needed to get a shower and get yourself ready for the day ahead.

You were proud of yourself. Of course you weren’t actually going to stop dwelling on it but you’d done a really good job of convincing yourself that you would so that could only be a good thing.

You’d managed okay to begin with, you went to work, you did a 12 hour shift and only thought about him what? 24 times? 72 times? Okay, so you thought about him a lot but it was fine, it was expected; it only happened last night. You were sure as time passed it would stop and you wouldn’t think about how he sounded with his hands wrapped around himself.

Wait. No, stop, you were doing it again.

You shook your head as you walked home and tried to change your thoughts. This was a stalker, not some stupid romance novel or fanfiction. This was real and you were treating it like some cheesy porn film where the woman fucks the same man that was stalking her. This man was a threat, he was a danger to your life.

As you walked into your home you laid straight back onto your bed and fell fast asleep. As it turned out, today had taken way more out of you than you thought. Your shift was long and your thoughts were messy, you just needed to sleep.

That would help everything.

…

The next few days were— strange, to say the least. You hadn’t seen him or heard from him. He hadn’t left you any notes or any texts. Infact, you’d had nothing from him since the last text he sent you that night and that was a good thing.

He was starting to slightly dwindle from your mind. He wasn’t all you could think about. Of course, you’d think about him from time to time, he’d been there for years but the thoughts strayed away from sexual and back to annoyance. But you knew better than anybody else that just because you hadn’t seen him didn’t mean he hadn’t been around and that you were certain.

That was the whole point of a stalker, right?

Watching you from a distance when you could never see him. You’d almost started to forget that, that was actually what stalkers did. So you knew you could never truly feel like you’d shaken him. You wanted to convince yourself that he’d maybe gotten what he wanted that night and that was all it took to get him away from you but you’d been here before.

He’d done this time and time again.

Leaving stuff for you and then ghosting you for a few days before he came back even stronger with something new and of course, he always did. It was a pattern of his that you’d be stupid to ignore. You knew it wouldn’t be too long until he had made himself known to you once again and 8 days into not seeing him, he made himself known. Through a short but simple text.

Mine: Thank you, baby.

I’ve been non stop thinking about that night.

Wrapping my fingers around my cock thinking about you the entire night, wanting nothing more than to push my fingers inside of you.

I’m not mad at you for not joining in. I’ll be a good boy and wait for you but you know I’ll look after you. I know you trust me and want me the same way I want you. Your voice is so sweet. Did I tell you that already? Tell you how beautiful your voice is when its filled with want and need and— fuck baby, it does things to me.

I miss you.

Thought I’d give you some space, but I can’t anymore.

I want to come see you.

I promise I’ll come see you soon.

I love you.

JK.

It was basically the same as what he usually said so it felt sort of empty to you. You remembered the first time that he told you he’d be coming to see you. You were so scared you made sure all your doors were locked all the time and you barely even slept but that was 3 years ago now. He left you a card telling you how he would finally see you soon but luckily for you soon never came.

You could tell he was getting bolder but that didn’t worry you too much. If he was really going to do anything like that you were sure he would have done it already. All this text did was remind you that he was still around. Something you would never need a reminder about.

…

“You should try it, it’s all the rage right now.”

You knew you shouldn’t but it really helped you get through your shifts at work.

“They aren’t these big heavy headsets that go over your face anymore, it’s just a pair of glasses,” listening to the random and odd things people talked about while they were out shopping was always so insane to you.

They would say some of the weirdest stuff and the conversation you were hearing was proving no different, except this time the woman on the receiving end of what the first woman was saying seemed a little bit shy and not half as into the conversation that was going on.

They were talking about the new VR glasses, they are for people who wanted a more surreal experience when it came to gaming on their phone, or, what they’re more commonly used for.

Porn.

“Oh, don’t be so silly, it’s natural.”

You put your head down and started to tidy some of the clothes that had been thrown all over the floor by other customers. People really were slobs and it never stopped annoying you.

“You hook your phone up to it, pop some headphones in and that’s it! You’ll never need a man again.”

“Do we really need to be talking about this here?”

“Stop it, I bet loads of the women that work here have one.”

You looked up at the woman who was pulling out some clothes and pressing it against herself to see how the sizing would fit and she immediately locked eyes with you, smiling.

“I bet you’ve got one, don’t you, honey?”

The woman was so confident it was rather off putting, and that was ignoring the type of conversation that she was dragging you into.

You tried to feign ignorance and pretend you had no idea what she was talking about, hoping she wouldn’t feel up to explaining that she was openly talking about masterbation aid, but as it turned out, you got the most confident women in the world as she filterlessly explained the VR glasses that, almost naturally, a woman of your age already knew plenty about.

They were advertised everywhere; it wasn’t like you could miss them at the moment. They were the new big thing.

You really hoped the conversation would end soon.

“I’m sorry ma’am, I was brought up in a rather— conservative household. I’m not used to talking about that kinda thing, and it’s not really something I know much about so I’ve never really bothered,” you weren’t lying.

Your parents were very religious so any conversation that even came close to being about boys or sex or masturbation were completely off the table. Maybe that’s why you could barely get yourself off when you touched yourself. You had no idea what the hell you were doing and you were always too scared your parents would damn you to Hell if they even got the slightest hint of possibility that you’d done anything sexual.

It’s a good job you found Jeongguk or you wouldn’t have the slightest clue what an orgasam felt like.

Wait.

What?

No, stop.

You shook your head as the women left where they were to continue their shopping, completely disregarding you since you weren’t exactly helping her case

You needed help.

You needed to learn how to get yourself off when annoying, obsessive, stalkers weren’t involved.

That’s how you found yourself outside of the tech store looking to buy a pair of the VR glasses. If the second woman in the conversation wasn’t going to take the advice you sure would.

Apparently it was an amazing way of getting yourself off and since there were visuals involved you wouldn’t be getting stuck with thoughts of you-know-who in your head while you were doing it.

You were surprised at how sleak the glasses actually were. They used to be big square headsets that you’d put over your face but these things were barely noticeable. A very small frame with clear glass that, when turned on, went a shade of gray on the outside but had the game playing on the inside. The poor salesman didn’t need to know you were going to use them on anything other than games.

You connect it up to your phone and plug your headphones in, to test it, and it was that easy.

If only they were that easy on your bank account. Sadly the newest VR technology was never going to be cheap but you figured this was a price worth paying and since you had no social life you managed to save up money for when you needed it. You couldn’t afford to let Jeongguk into your sexual life as easily as he did. You needed to make sure you could get yourself off and not have to think of him to do so.

…

The lights to your house were completely out, he didn’t know if he was happy or sad about that, he wanted to see you like all the times he promised he would. You probably felt so let down by him and his empty promises, but this time it wasn’t going to be empty. This time he was going to see you and talk to you and tell you that he loved you.

He finally felt confident enough to do so now that you had made it extremely clear to him that you were interested in him too, you gave him a clear sign and he just knew it.

Now was the time to show you just how serious he was about you.

He walked over to your door, opening it with his key he’d had copied by the locksmith. He’d be silly not to get one and it would probably start costing him a pretty penny if he had to fix it every time he broke in.

All the lights were off and the house was dark, even though it was still light outside, it was only about 2 Oclock. Usually, you wouldn’t be at work on a Thursday. It is Thursday, right? Maybe you took up an extra shift. Maybe you went shopping and got caught up.

He made his way to your bedroom and placed the panties on the bed that he had taken previously and then made his way to your washing basket to pick up another pair from there.

The empty wash basket immediately put a disappointed frown on his face.

He always found a pair he could take and this time there was nothing, he looked around the room for anything else, maybe you were in a rush this morning and you left a pair on the floor while you ran out the door but there wasn’t an item of clothing in sight.

He laid on your bed in frustration but as he did so he could smell you on the covers.

God, did you smell amazing.

This was only something that he got to enjoy every now and again. When he snuck in, he would usually go into your wash basket and smell your clothes. Nothing could beat the smell of you. He’d never even thought to smell your bed and gosh was he stupid.

It was purely you.

It was heaven but sadly heaven had a time limit.

He heard you slam the door in your house. You were so heavy handed it was cute.

He panicked, not knowing what to do. He came here wanting to talk to you but it looked like he wasn’t as brave as he thought he was.

He felt butterflies in his tummy and got really nervous, nervous enough that rather than doing what you wanted. Doing what a good boy would do. He hid away. Hide in the bathroom adjacent to your bedroom, hoping to God you wouldn’t come in and catch him hiding away from you.

He’d be so embarrassed. He was embarrassed. What kind of man hid away from his love? The woman that needs him the most.

About 15 minutes later he heard you come into your bedroom and move things around abit. He heard you shuffling.

You were just there. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so close to you. So close to touching you. He should go out there and talk to you. He should do what he planned on doing, the whole reason he was here was to help you two be together finally after all these years.

He was going to do it.

He gave himself a pep talk. He bigged himself up for it and did it. He walked out of the bathroom but when he did he couldn’t believe his eyes, you were completely naked, on your bed, eyes covered, earphones in.

No, this wasn’t what he wanted at all. He wanted to talk, wanted this to mean so much and be more than sex, he knew that was probably what it would end up being but he thought it was be romantic. He pictured you both confessing your love for each other and making love afterwards and even though that was what he envisioned happening his lust and obsession took over.

You were there pushing your fingers into your beautiful cunt, moaning ever so slightly with your entire body on display to him. Your tits looked so pillowy to him, he wanted to touch them, wanted to lick and tease them, do everything he’d ever seen in porn. Pushing his pants down, he started playing with his now hard cock. He’d never seen anything like this.

He was trying not to make any noise but that was impossible.

“Oh my God, I Iwanna touch you, I wanna feel you. Fuck, please,” he was saying this all out loud but in the cutest little moans. While he was pumping his cock so fast, walking just that little bit close to you and picturing what you’d look like staring up at him. He could clearly see you were watching porn and it gave him flashbacks to the night he caught you.

Oh, how your relationship had grown. He laughed to himself.

This felt intimate to him and that made the strokes of his cock so much more pleasurable to him. Your feet were right at the end of your bed, your legs propped up to give him an amazing view. He knew he shouldn’t but he just couldn’t help it.

He kneeled down on the floor, making sure to still be as quiet as possible even though you had headphones in. He watched as your fingers pushed inside you, wet and sticky. With his tongue stuck out he pretended that he was going to get a taste of you.

He could smell you so strongly too and when he did flick his tongue out he got a slight hint of your taste on it. Then he started breathing heavy as he pumped his cock so fast his face fell just a little bit too close to you. Something he didn’t notice until you moved your other hand and dragged it across where he must have breathed on your leg.

You weren’t making much noise, the odd pants here and there but he knew he could make you moan louder. Just like he did before.

“Your lips look so pretty and swollen, I wanna feel them” he bite his own lip.

He didn’t want to be a bad boy at all, but he was so conflicted. A good boy would go home, maybe give you a text and help you along, ask you if you wanted his help and soon you would swoon into his arms and you’d take his cock for real.

A bad boy would take you right now, such a wet little pussy sprawled out in front of him was just begging to be touched by him. You knew he would come over today, he told you in his message he would visit soon, maybe you wanted him to be a little bad. Maybe the fact your other hand was now circling your clit while you pound your pussy with your fingers was your way of inviting him in.

Fuck it. Fuck everything, Jeongguk wanted to be bad. Just for today.

He moved his hands and grabbed your hips, whining as he pushed your pussy lips up against his cock.You jumped at the sudden hands on your body and quickly pulled the earphones out of your ears to shout.

“Sh, sh, baby. Ugh, fuck. It’s just me, relax.”

Relaxed was the last thing you were feeling as he rutted his bare cock against your folds.

“Jeongguk,” it took no more than 0.001 seconds for you to know exactly who was doing this.

“Jeongguk, what are you doing? Stop it.”

“I can’t stop, baby. Princess, I can’t.”

You still had the VR glasses on so you couldn’t see him, you could only hear and feel his desperation. His hips were so slow against you and the video you were watching matched the movement of his hips perfectly and as the faceless man fucked your VR body you got distracted.

You opted to turn it off so now all you could see was black.

“Jeongguk, you can’t, this is wrong. I don’t want this,” you pleaded.

“But baby, you said I made you wet. You said it,” his voice was slightly raised as if he was annoyed. “And I can feel how wet you are baby, I know you want this so bad. Your pussy has drenched my cock.”

“Jeongguk,” he seemed to speed up a little bit at the sound of his name, letting out a small moan and it didn’t go unnoticed by you. You wished you didn’t but you enjoyed it.

The video you were watching wasn’t doing much for you but now sparks were flying down your spine and your pussy was getting really wet. His cock was so thick and it was wrapped up in your pussy lips bumping your clit, sparks were sent down your spine every little nudge it gave you. You could feel every inch of him sliding up and down your slit.

This is so much better than touching yourself.

You snapped yourself out of it though, just before you let out a moan.

“Jeongguk, that was fantasy, it wasn’t real.”

“Fuck, baby, we can make it real. I know we were both fantasising but now I can feel your pussy and it’s so hot and needy and I know it needs me. Let me give it what it needs— please,” as he begged and moaned, his hand moved down, rubbing the outer lips of your pussy and it made everything so much more sensitive.

You gasped and your head fell down to the mattress while your hips pushed up against him; against your will.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, yes, baby. Keep doing that.”

You wouldn’t do it. No matter how much your brain wanted it. But as you were rejecting him in your mind your hips started to slowly move along his cock.

Fuck.

“This is so much better than touching yourself don’t you ah— yes— fuck.”

Your hips were getting slightly faster as you could feel the tension in your stomach begin to knot. Your slick was starting to drip down yourself. You could officially say you had never been this wet before.

Fuck, he felt good.

“Jeongguk,” you started moaning, unable to cover the sounds anymore.

“Yes, baby? Anything— tell me anything. I’ll give you what you want,” you’d never heard a man so desperate for anything before. He sounded like he was begging you, his voice so high pitched; barely keeping it together as he stuttered along with what he was saying.

‘Jeongguk, we can't— ahh fuck,” you had never been so torn in your life. Your toes were curling, your moans weren’t silent anymore and your hands were so tight in the bed sheets but you knew without a shadow of a doubt you shouldn’t be doing this. “Jeongguk, put the tip in, just the tip.”

Your desperation got the better of you and you let him do the one thing you knew you never should.

“Is that what good boys would do? Tell me, tell me please. I’m a good boy, right? You want this,” you nodded your head fast.

“So good, please be good for me and do it,”

Jeongguk practically yelped at that, pushing the tip of his cock all over your pussy. In your slit, against your outer folds. He had soaked everywhere between your legs trying to find your hole and that made you moan louder than before.

He finally found it though and pushed the head of his cock inside you.

“Oh my God, oh my God ____, oh my-“

Jeongguk all but cried, and if you could see him right now you’d see him covered in sweat, tears down his face. His voice so high pitched moaning for you.

You weren’t fairing much better yourself. His cock head was so thick you felt so stretched out and you hadn’t felt this stretched out in a long time. You were glad you couldn’t see. You didn’t want to be in the reality of it or you knew you’d have to stop him. And that was the last thing you wanted to do.

The pleasure was dull though. You wanted more. You needed to feel his tip deep inside you.

He moved his hand back to his cock after touching your sides then stoking your legs, and with his hand firmly wrapped around it he started circling it inside you; moving it around so you could feel his tip everywhere until you snapped.

“Oh fuck, I can’t help myself,” your gasp came out loud and wanting.

You placed your hands on his lower back and pushed his cock into your waiting heat, all the teasing was too much. He was there ready to pleasure you and your rational brain couldn’t argue against it. There was nothing rational about rejecting such a needy cock that was dripping inside you.

As you pushed him inside, you could hear his high pitched moan and there was something so sexy about it. He sounded so affected by you. And were you affected, too. As you pushed him closer inside you it was as if his cock never ended. He was so long and thick your eyes pushed to the back of your head as your legs opened wider and wider inviting him even deeper inside of you.

You felt one of his hands grab your breast and his other clamped on where your thigh met your hip, thumb pressing in, pulling your body onto him harder so he could drill his cock deeper into you.

You were sure you weren’t just moaning anymore but screaming, all you could hear was the wetness of yourself slapping against him. Nothing had ever been so deep inside of you and the whines and moans that were coming out of his mouth were so fucking desperate your own mouth was watering. You may have only had an orgasam once or twice in your life but it was a feeling you could never forget and you could feel it again, you could feel it about to hit like a wave against you.

Every limb in your body was weak but high on sensations at the same time. You’d never felt it like this before

“Oh my God yes, yes you’re so good. So wet. Fuck. I had no idea pussy would feel this good. I can’t take it.”

If you had any semblance of what was going on and the words that were coming out of his mouth you just might have noticed what he said. You might have taken a second to think about it and reconsider but you didn’t. You couldn’t; even if you wanted to.

You were in heaven.

This must have been the first time you’d had sex in at least a year and the first time you’d had a dick this big that felt this good— ever. You could feel it in your stomach as he fucked you so hard, he wasn’t the best at keeping a steady rhythm but that didn’t matter when his cock hit so deep.

“I can’t, your pussy’s too fucking wet and perfect. I’m gonna cum, fuck, I’m gonna come inside you,” as he started to fall into pleasure you tried to follow him. He fell forward into the crook of your neck pushing the VR glasses off your eyes and somewhere else on the bed. But you kept your eyes shut tight.

Nothing was going to take you away from the moment, not even Jeongguk grabbing the side of your head and pushing your cheek into the mattress while he still drilled into you.

The room was bright and even though your eyes were closed you could tell the difference and that changed your perspective on what was going on only slightly.

This wasn’t a naughty night time fuck, this was a completely inappropriate mid-day fuck with somebody you shouldn’t even be near.

But as he pulled the side of your head impossibly close to his own and pushed his body as close to yours as he could, just so his hips were now grinding again your clit, you noticed his strength, and it was a complete one-eighty to the needy and timid voice that came from his lips

“I’m sorry, I wanted to make you feel good but I’m gonna cum so fast. You’re so perfect,” he started to kiss and lick up the side of your neck. You don’t want him to stop, you wanted to cum. You could feel it so, so, close.

“I’ll be a good boy for you and make you cum I promise just, fu— just. Oh, fuck.” His hips started to move insanely fast as he pumped himself into you sloppily, over and over again, just to push hard into you while his cock convulsed. Pushing you so close to your end that you whimpered loudly.

“No, fuck, don’t stop.” You couldn’t help but push your hands through his hair; holding him as close to you as you could and he whined almost as if he was in pain but you knew better. All you could hear were gasps and moans along with your name leaving his lips.

Before you even had a chance to think he shuffled himself down and attacked your clit with his lips. Your entire body jumped as if shocked.

His lips were so soft against you. But you still refused to look at him. Your head pushed back as his tongue divided between your lips where he had just been sucking and your impending orgasam hit so fast you couldn’t believe it.

He flicked his tongue back and forth, teasing your clit for all it was worth and as you screamed, announcing your orgasam, he sucked your clit even harder. Taking as much of your pussy into his mouth as you could. You could hear his moans of enjoyment, the grunts and groans he made as his tongue touched all over your slit muffled into vibrations; keeping you high for minutes.

You couldn’t stop shaking as he moved his tongue around you. Convulsing your body as the tingle in your clit continued, only stopping when Jeongguk moved away from you with his eyes closed still licking his own lip so as to not lose the taste of you.

You couldn’t take anymore and you opened your eyes to look at him.

He was a mess, mouth wet and sticky. His hair that was once clearly in a bun completely disheveled with curls around his face.

He was a work of art, sitting back on his legs, cock still out as his pants were pushed part way down his thighs and his black shirt lay crumpled and messy. He looked so fucking sexy but so adorble while you watched him lick his lips.

Then it all hit you at once.

“Get out.”

You couldn’t believe what you had just let happen.

“Get the fuck out right now.”

His face dropped so quickly from bliss to sadness.

“But baby—“

“Get the fuck out of my house!” You screamed at him, jumping up to cover your body in the sheets on your bed. You watched him stand up quickly and walk towards you.

“Baby, I just—“

“Jeongguk,” you took the deepest breath you could in order to not completely scream at him.

“I need you to leave. I need you to leave right now and not come back, do you hear me?”

He nodded his head slowly, big eyes looking at you, you were sure you could see a tear but that didn’t matter to you right now. You needed him out and you needed this to never ever happen again. He was lucky you didn’t scream in his face even louder but that would be so wrong of you.

You knew you were partly to blame for all of this. You asked, you practically begged for him.

But still, Jeongguk turned on his heel and swiftly left your house. It was only when he closed the front door you were able to move again.

You slowly stood up on weak knees and put on a long nightgown to cover yourself. The feeling of shame, annoyance and embarrassment washed over you yet again. You were becoming too familiar with the feeling.

It wasn’t for another half an hour you managed to snap yourself out of the feeling when you heard a ping on your phone but when you checked it there was no alert.

That’s when you remembered you were probably looking at the wrong phone. You walked over to your dresser where you had left your second phone after Jeongguk’s message a few days ago, hoping you wouldn’t be coming back to it so soon.

You opened it up to see his face again, it felt different. You’d seen him up close and these pictures of him had never done him justice. His skin looked so soft and his hair so shiny. As you shook your head you opened the message just at the top of the screen and you wouldn’t believe what you had read.

You were in shock. If you thought you fucked up. Things had just got a lot worse.

Mine: Thank you, baby.

Thank you so fucking much, you gave me everything I needed, everything I wanted tonight.

I heard when you lose your virginity you’re supposed to cuddle after. I wanted it to be so much more romantic, I really did.

But when I saw you there I just lost all control.

Your pussy was begging for me to touch it.

I know that’s why you’re mad at me, I ruined all the romance you wanted, well that and— and I couldn’t last long enough for you.

I’m so sorry baby, I’ll make it up to you. It’s just you’re so fucking sexy, your tits were bouncing underneath me, the smell of you was so strong and I can’t forget that delicious pussy squeezing me.

Oh God, baby, your pussy was so fucking delicious. I’ve still got the taste of you on my lips and I hope I never lose it ever.

I promise I’ll practise. Next time we fuck you’ll get to cum all over my cock just like you wanted to.

I’ll be good, baby.

I promise.

I’ll fuck you so good.

Make you feel the way you made me feel.

It may have been my first time but I know nobody will ever make me feel the way you do, and they won’t even get the chance.

I belong to you, princess. You took another part of me tonight and I’m slowly just becoming more and more yours, more than I already was.

I can’t wait till we fuck again. We’re going to fuck all day and all night untill we can’t anymore and then I’ll just keep eating that pussy. I’m never going to disappoint you again I promise.

I’m in love with you and I meant every word of that song I sang to you. Keep listening to it when I’m not there, so you know that I’m always beside you.

I can’t wait to feel your cunt again, and I forgive you for what you said.

I love you.

JK.

You took his virginity.

Holy shit this was a mess, you were never going to get out of and—

Song? When did he sing to you?

Wait.

The video on the phone, you never got a chance to listen to it properly. You quickly left the text and clicked on the video, listening to his extremely melodic voice singing to you.

See your face every place that I walk in

Hear your voice every time that I’m talking

You will believe in me

And I will never be ignored

I willl burn for you

Feel pain for you

I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart

And tear it apart

I will lie for you

Beg and steal for you

I will crawl on hands and knees until you see

You’re just like me

Chapter Text

Why the fuck was this so complicated, so many different brands and types. Why couldn’t you just walk in, pick one up and be done with it. Some companies will do Anything to make a bit of money.
You sighed picking up a few different options before going to the cash desk to pay for the 4 different types of pregnancy tests. You couldn’t be too careful. You needed to know and you needed to know as soon as possible and as accurately as possible.
You didn’t miss the look that the man on the cash desk gave you. You could feel the judgement all over his face. How did he have the right to judge you. He had no idea you let your stalker fuck you into your bed while you begged for more. For all he knew you were in a loving relationship and wanted to be pregnant. Fuck him and his judging looks.
Where you overthinking this? Maybe it was the guilt you’d become accustomed to wracking your brain. You must have been wearing your annoyance on your face as the man was doing anything but look as he handed you your bag with a rather disgruntled look on his face. You’d like to say you didn’t snatch it out of his hand and walk away as if you’d been verbally assaulted but that would be a huge lie. You couldn’t help it. The last week had been the most stressful week of your life to date and that’s even if you were to ignore everything going on with he who must not be named.
Your family life was in shambles. Your family was arguing over god knows what this time so your parents thought it was a great time to question you on your life choices thus far.
Truth of the matter was, your parents were pushy. From birth they pushed religion. They pushed marriage. They pushed abstinence. They pushed your life into the perfect idea of a Christian lifestyle and it just. Wasn’t. You. You loved you mum and dad but with their constant disapproval of your lifestyle you had to start pushing them away a little bit.
You wouldn’t class yourself as overly strong or overly determined, you were a little shy and didn’t always know the right things to say. Growing up you always stood in the corners of party’s and made sure you went as unnoticed as possible but you always made choices to do with your life that you wanted. Not the ones other people push upon you and you were always proud of that. You just wish your parents felt the same way.
And my God you wish she’d stop asking when you were going to find a man and have a baby. This just wasn’t the week.
It was a constant reminder of what you had done. Your anxiety was through the roof already worrying about it and that was all your mum was asking about lately. ‘Baby this, baby that’.
“Excuse me”
You jump as you’re pulled out of your thoughts as the woman behind you was trying to get past. You’d stopped dead in your tracks getting caught up in your thoughts.
You needed to go home and you needed to find out if you were pregnant as soon as possible.
The walk home felt like it had taken hours but it had only been 10 minutes. Your mind drifting back to why you were in this situation in the first place. It’s all you’ve been able to think about the past week and that was issue number two.
God you didn’t want to think about it but it made you so weak. His cock was so big and thick. So hard and when he fucked you,God he was a whimper mess. The fact you took his virginity was not only so ridiculously fucked but it was so hot as well. You’re not sure why but everytime you think about it being the first time he’d fucked anybody your pussy clench and you could feel it tingle.
It was disgusting of you.
You needed to date and you needed to do it quickly. You needed to have sex with somebody so you weren’t thinking about him in anyway.
You haven’t dated anybody in so long. You had flings growing up, you did everything you could to calmly rebel against your parents and that meant having sex. That was always the one thing you knew would annoy them.
It was childish of course but you were a teenager and you did lots of stupid things back then.
It was when jeongguk arrived on scene that you stopped dating. You were always too scared to leave the house in case he saw you or did something.
How things have changed since.
As you opened the door to your house you saw nothing out of the ordinary.
Everytime you came home you found yourself looking around for anything that had been changed or moved. You occasionally found yourself searching for him to see if he’d locked himself in your house again waiting for you. Since he’d become so much bolder you wouldn’t put anything past him anymore. At one point you’d become complicit with him. Knowing he’d do nothing more than write stupid letters. You never imagined you were this wrong and even worse you would never have believed you would let it happen or even beg for it.
You shook your head once again trying to rid yourself of the thoughts. You dumped all the tests onto your coffee table trying to gather courage to take one. You didn’t think you’d be this nervous. You were so busy thinking about taking one that you didn’t once stop to think about what happens afterwards. What if it was positive, what if you were pregnant.
*buzz buzz*
You turned to look at your phone on your sofa and quickly answered it. Secretly glad it was there to distract you and my God did it deliver as a distraction.
Turns out work needed somebody to cover today and luckily you had absolutely nothing extremely important to do right now. You were up and out of your house quicker than you ever have for a shift that any other day you would usually have said no to.

He watched you leave. A little bit disappointed that he wasn’t going to get to see you more today. You’d only just got home, he felt sad that you were so busy. He wanted you to be able to relax but no, you were running around everywhere. His poor baby. Maybe he should go in and run you a bath, with bubbles and candles. Yes that would be so romantic. That would make up for everything he did wrong that night. He’d felt so bad ever since. All he’d ever wanted was to be good for you but that night he was bad. He wasn’t romantic at all.
He was worried that you’d think he was only in it for sex. He was trying to think of ways to be more romantic and this was a perfect time. He knew you’d love it and at least see that he was trying.
As he walked into your house he was becoming extremely familiar with the layout. He knew where your bathroom was and went straight to it.
No bubble bath.
Oh baby, why don’t you ever make time for self-care. It made him sad, you were a queen. You should be pampered. You should never have to lift a finger and should be constantly in comfort and you didn’t even have bubble bath. He needs to be better for you. He needs to start getting things right so he can worship you the way you always should have been and that starts with going to buy you some bubble bath. You’d be so proud of him if you could see his thought process. His smile beamed when he thought about how happy you would be when you got home.
As he walked back towards the front door he couldn’t help but notice the mess on the table. Maybe just a small clean before he goes. So you don’t have to bother with it when you get home. As he walked towards the table he noticed straight away what was there.
“You’re pregnant, baby"
Of course. He came inside you. How could he be so stupid not to think that this could happen. All this time he was busy fantasising about that night. About how deep he was and how you begged he didn’t even think about what could happen. He was so happy it did. You were going to have his baby. You’d be his forever. You’d never be able to leave and you’d forever be together. He was a good boy that night after all. He’d made you a family. He came so deep inside you he’d given you his baby. Fuck his cock was getting so hard thinking about it but no. No, now he had things he really had to do. He didn’t know when you’d be back so he had to be so quick. Fuck you were going to have his baby. He was basking in the glory of the thoughts of it as he walked out the door ready to prepare for your new life as a family.

Work was hard but my god was it needed. When things are busy it does its job of taking your mind off everything but then, inevitability hit you. You couldn’t stay at work for ever and soon you were going to have to go home, face facts and take a pregnancy test. You’d never had to take one before. You’d never got yourself in this situation. Always so careful that youd never had unprotected sex before. Maybe that’s why he felt so good. That’s why you could feel every inch inside you.
Shut up stop.
Before you knew it you were walking home in the dark again dreading what was to come and finding out what was going to be in your future.
As you opened the door you froze on your spot.
"Omg. Omg no”
As soon as your brain caught up with your body you dashed in picking the gifts up from your table.
“For our little baby”
A teddy, a child’s Teddy. Baby clothes sprawled out everywhere along with flowers in a vase in the middle of the table.
He was here today. Today of all days and he thinks you’re pregnant. You hadn’t taken the tests so why was he so sure.
You grabbed the teddy holding a heart in its hands and threw it towards the wall shouting.
The vase of flowers followed going straight into the bin and as you went back to do the same with the clothes your anger started to bubble up inside.
Fuck him, what does he have to say this time. He’s always got something to say doesn’t he.
Your anger and fear were starting up strong. Your week seemed to go from bad to worse and there seemed to be no end. The phone he’d given you also left on the table with a message on the screen, so he did have something to say.

“Fuck, baby.
Were going to be a family. You’re having my baby. I can’t wait till we’re living together in our cosy house. We have our baby cuddling together on the sofa. We will get to put them to bed.
Read the books.
Tuck them in tight and then make more.
We could have so many.
Everytime I cum inside you we could have a new little baby and you loved it so much when I came inside you I know we’d be making so many.
I’m so excited. I’ll do everything for you. I’ll make sure you’re happy.
Make this the easiest pregnancy anybody has ever had.
I bought some things for them. We might as well start now
Can’t wait to dress them up and give them all my love. Give you all my love.
I’ve been practising edging for you baby.
Learning so that I dont cum so fast the next time we make love. Fuck it hurts so much sometimes but I’m getting so much better. Everybody warned me that if I didn’t have sex I’d be no good when I finally met my love. Little did they know I’d already met you.
I’m glad I didn’t listen. Glad I had you to take my virginity. I don’t care if I came fast, It was a gift I was able to give you and nobody else.
Next time I want you to tell me what you like. How you like to be fucked. I’ll do it. I’ll do it all for you.
Fuck baby I can’t wait till you’ve got a baby belly.
I love you, can’t wait to see you
Jk”

You squeezed the phone so hard in your hand you swore it could brake. Fuck him. Fuck this. You know you should never have let him fuck you but this was getting ridiculous. You didn’t even know if you were pregnant.
That’s right
You didn’t even know.
Where did he put the tests?
You walk around your living room. No luck.
Not in your bedroom or your kitchen.
As you walk into the bathroom it smells beautiful. Raspberry you were sure. The lights were off but you could see the bubbled up bath in the reflection of the fairy light jars that were lit around it. They weren’t yours. A towel was left out. It also wasn’t yours. Right next to the bath were the pregnancy tests. You grabbed them and ripped them open using them straight away. You had been waiting to do this so you refused to go to the bathroom while you were at work. You couldn’t risk not needing to go when you were finally ready to find out and while the anger rushed through your body, you knew you were ready to find out. You needed to know.
Holy shit why does this take so long. The box was lying. There was no way this was only 3 minutes. While you were waiting in the bathroom you pulled the plug on the bath, turned the lights on and the fairy light jars off.
The more you looked at what he did the angrier you got.
You watched the pregnancy test as one line appeared in the results window and you’d never felt more relieved as you did.
Negative.
It was negative.
You started to laugh picking it up making sure you were seeing it correctly. Your smile was huge. Bigger than you smiled in weeks. A weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
You weren’t having a baby. You weren’t having his baby.
Your laughs got a little louder as you walked from your bathroom to your bedroom but as you laid on your bed your laughs died down and you started to fall asleep. Faster than you had all week.

The loud banging in your door woke you up quickly. You fell asleep in your clothes. You’re disgusting. You chuckled a little bit at yourself at the fact. It’s the first time you’ve woken up without a huge sense of dread.
“I’m coming”
You shout towards your door as you rub your eyes. Thank god your house was small.
You slowly slouched out of bed dragging your feet to the door as you opened it, and as you do you’re immediately pushed out of the way as your mother barged in past you.
“Morning lovely” she looked behind herself as she walked in realising you weren’t magic and actually had to open the door to let her in. Typical. She’s all bright and happy this morning.
“What on earth do you look like”
Nevermind.
“Hunny, you’ll never find a man if you walk around looking like that on a day to day basis”
“Hi mum lovely to see you”
You pushed the door shut as you walked back into the room to look at her.
“What’re you doing here?”
You didn’t want to sound rude but it wasn’t like her to show up randomly uninvited. Even if most of the time she invites herself.
“Aren’t i allowed to come see my daughter”
She holds her arms out waiting for you to give her a hug, you accept the gesture. You could really do with one to be honest. Sadly this hug was cut short.
“____, what on earth?”
You were pushed forward as she turned you around
“Are you?”
“Omg no, I’m not mum its”
She walked forward past you and picked up the baby clothes jeongguk had left there. You were so mad at yourself for not moving them but you had no idea your mother would be around in the morning. Fuck how do you explain this away.
“For our little baby” your mum read the little bit of card that came with the teddy.
Fuck fuck fuck.
“Its not mine it’s for one of the girls at work.”
“You’re having a baby with a girl from your work. Hunny I didn’t even know you were”
“Mum stop omg. Its not 'Ours’”
How do you explain this away?
“It’s from her boyfriend”
Sketchy cover up but it should do
“And you have it because?”
“Because he’s getting everything together. He’s going to try and surprise her”
Y'know what, that lie was pretty good actually.
“Oh well that’s good, you’ll be free for a date with Jae tomorrow night then”
Wait what.
Why did your mother always insist on hooking you up with people.
“Mum i’m working tomorrow night”
That was absolutely a lie but it’s a good go to when you wanna get out of something.
“No you aren’t you messaged me 4 days ago telling me you were free. That’s when I planned it”
Fuck
You spent the next half an hour having the usual 'I don’t need to go on dates’ conversation with her until you gave up. Infact, maybe. Just. Maybe. It could be a good thing. You’ve been saying you need to meet somebody. Get you away from your thoughts of Jeongguk. This could be the perfect way to do it. You wouldn’t be caught dead saying it outloud but, maybe your mother’s right.
You always debated in your mind telling your family about your situation, maybe they could help and fix everything but to put it nicely, your relationship with your family was very mood dependent. You loved your Mum and your Dad but they only really showed love back to you when you were doing exactly what they wanted you to do. You never took on their religious beliefs. You never wanted to get married and have babies, Ugh babies, thinking about them still makes you feel a little bit sick. They weren’t extreme christians like some of the people you met growing up but it was enough to get in the way of your relationship with them. Your sister followed in their path and became an extremely devout christian. Your sister… huh… it’s been awhile since you’ve seen her or even spoken to her. She’s far too busy with her life to check in on you.
You remember bringing it up to her, just once. That you thought somebody was following you around but she paid no mind, telling you that you were being ridiculous and that’s what stopped you telling anybody else. You wanted to go to the police but what would they say or do, without evidence there was nothing. You had the notes and you kept them all just in case but things just kept going and you never made the move to taking action. Can you imagine trying to do it now? After everything you’ve done. You’d be just as much to blame as him.
“Honey, do you?”
“Do I eh-” Your Mum pulled you out of your thoughts. It’s not exactly odd behavior for you, she always commented on how you go caught up in your dreams. If only she knew it was more along the lines of dread, “-Sorry, do I what?”
“Do I tell him to message you, i’ve already given him your number and told him where you live, he should be coming to pick you up tomorrow night”
“That kind of leaves me with no choice doesn’t it”
You pick yourself up off your feet and walk to the kitchen to make yourself and your mum a drink. It’s not like she was going to leave any time soon. When she came round she liked to divulge in everything going on in everybody in your family’s life. It was actually kinda nice when she was on one of her good days and having people in your house took you off edge a little bit. It felt, safer.

Jungkook really wishes he wasn’t watching in on your house at this very moment. He noticed you talking to a woman through the window. You don’t usually wake this early, what else had he missed. The baby clothes were still on the table and he couldn’t help but smile. You loved them as much as he did. He was quickly drawn away from his happiness when he hears the conversation you’re having with the woman he recognizes as your Mum. For the first time in a very long time he had a distaste towards her. You’re going on a date? You’re cheating on him? You would never do that if it wasn’t for her. She was so controlling over you. He couldn’t help the tear that was falling down his face.
No, no way was he going to let you make this mistake. You’d feel so guilty if you knew how he felt about this. You were just saying this to make your Mum happy right. You weren’t actually going to go date somebody else. Jae. The name was on the forefront of his mind. Fuck Jae. There’s not a chance he’s going to get anywhere near you. He’s not going to let him come in and destroy his relationship. His family.
You were having a baby. His heart warmed for the 1000th time thinking about it turning quickly into a scowl. No. No this wasn’t happening. He felt something he’d never felt before regarding you. He felt threatened. So many people had come on to you before but you’d never entertained it so he never had to worry. Even if he occasionally made sure they would leave you alone for good just for good measure to help you out. Now, now you were entertaining it and his heart hurt, even if you were only doing it for her. Her, how dare she do this. This needs to stop, he had to do something about it before his heart broke in half. He didn’t know if he should scream or cry, turns out he was doing both as he walked away from your window back to his home wondering how he would fix this situation as well as the witch that was your mother.

Your day went pretty quickly. It was so nice having somebody to talk to, taking your mind off everything that had happened, even if it was just for a day. It was also so nice just getting to talk to your Mum without having arguments over this and that and babies and husbands and making the right choices in life and wearing the right clothes. The last time you spoke to her wasn’t pleasant so you’re glad you could just sit back and forget about it. It makes you feel like maybe you could trust her with everything. Someday. Not just yet.
Before you knew it, it was 6 o’clock. It had been 9 hours and you were still in your pajamas cuddled up with a hot chocolate watching TV with your Mum. You were actually kinda sad when she told you that she had to get back to your Dad so when she left you gave her a huge hug and you felt the warmth coming from her. Maybe things could be good with you guys after all.
As you said goodbye you plonked yourself back on your sofa, and just sat in silence. Thinking of nothing. Your mind was blank and you welcomed it pleasantly. You hoped things could stay this simple just for a little while but when you opened your eyes reality hit you straight away. The baby clothes are still sitting on the table bringing you back to the state of sadness. You didn’t know if you should shout or cry, turns out you were doing both as you walked back to your bedroom wondering how you mood could so easily switch. Your emotions were all over the place and they had been your entire life. They’re what got you into this mess in the first place. Not being able to control your emotions.
You wiped the gentle tears that had fallen down your face and started to look in your wardrobe for if there was anything you could wear on your date. You didn’t know where you were going or who you were going with but it was just something to take your mind off all the shit and make you feel that happy feeling again, and it worked. The rest of the night you spent with yourself, playing around with your make-up, trying on different outfits until eventually it was time to go to sleep ready for the day ahead of you.

Your phone must have buzzed about half a million times waking you from your sleep, one was the alarm you forgot to turn off for work but the others confused you. As you look at the clock on your bedside table it reads 8am. Who the hell was messaging you at 8am. You groaned as you pulled your phone up from the floor where it was charging. A phone call. Usually you don’t answer unknown numbers but you were far too tired to even think about it as you answered the call whilst also rubbing your eyes trying to wake up.
“Hel-” You start coughing warming up your voice “-Hello”
“Oh Hi, is this ___”
“Is it” You lay on your back on your bed keeping the phone to your ear.
“Oh good, Hello its, Jae”
“Oh, oh sorry I completely forgot”
“Its okay I probably woke you, I just wanted to call to let you know I’ll be picking you up around 6 Oclock and i’ll be taking you for food. Thought it would be best to let you know what would be going on for tonight”
You couldn’t help the smile that crept on your lips, he seemed sweet.
“Oh, thank you very much Jae, I look forward to it”
There wasn’t much more to the conversation, just your simple ‘It will be nice to meet you’ and that kind of thing before you hung up on each other.
As you pulled the phone down and smiled to yourself, you felt hope for the first time. This was going to be good. You knew it.
As you wake yourself up fully you pull yourself to the bathroom to go to the toilet and brush your teeth. It was only as you were brushing your teeth you notice the phone with the message symbol at the top of the notifications. You grab it with your free hand and start to read it.

“Baby, Other men aren’t good for you.
They’ll never look after you the way I can.
I know you don’t really wanna cheat on me, you were just trying to make your mum happy but think of us. Think of the baby. Our baby. God, I can’t wait.
I’ll come round tomorrow night so i can see you. I’ll be at yours for about 7 O'clock. We can talk about everything.
Plan names for the baby, take your mind off everything
I’ll make sure your mother never forces anything on you ever again.
I’ll run you another bath. I hope you liked it, I hope it made you feel relaxed.
I’ll show you how no other man can do for you what I can.
I’m not very good in bed yet but i’m learning for you.
I hope that’s not why you’re seeking other men, I hope it’s not because I was a bad boy. I’m a good boy. I promise I’ve been learning how to make you feel good.
I’ve watched so much porn, read so many books just looking for different things I know you might like.
I can show you, you can tell me. Just let me know what you want me to learn.
I’m yours to use a mold into the perfect partner, perfect play thing if that’s what you want.
I’ll come see you.
Surprise you.
I promise
JK

Of course he knew, why wouldn’t he. He knows everything about your life. Why would this be any different? He wasn’t going to ruin your mood. He was going to come tonight? Let him. You’d be out on your date anyways so why would it matter. He wasn’t going to hang around for hours waiting for you to get back. He never did. From what you’ve noticed whenever he comes to you house its small intervals or purposefully when you’re at work
No, he’s not going to ruin yet another thing for you. Infact. Fuck him completely. You take the phone and run it under the tap that you’re brushing your teeth under and spit the rest of your toothpaste from your mouth directly on the phone. You were done with him.
From a fast and interesting day yesterday to a slow and nerve wracking one today. You couldn’t concentrate on much. You’d put so much pressure on yourself that tonight was going to go well. He seemed sweet on the phone but he knew your mother. That could only mean bad news to you. She didn’t expand her circles far so that means he’s a son of a friend or she randomly pulled somebody from the street in desperate need to get somebody to date you. Both seem equally likely. She’s done it before, you don’t doubt that she’d do it again. You could help but keep checking the clock. Not wanting to start getting ready too early but panicking that you might leave it too late. How do you do dates again?Ugh. As much as you always wanted to find somebody to share your life with, dating was always the worst part, you went back and forth from watching tv, playing games on your laptop flicking through youtube that at 4 Oclock you thought it might be a good time to get dressed and sorted.
Hair? Done, you decided to go with the complete opposite of how you would usually have it. Doing nothing made it look like you weren’t making an effort in your head, not that he’d know how you would usually have it.
Clothes? Casual, jeans and a nice top. The classic. Dresses and skirts were never really your thing. Not for a first date anyways. You want to show him who you really are and wearing something overly fancy felt a little bit disingenuous. You kept switching between tops but finally settled on a slightly V-necked black top. Nothing fancy but enough to be just a tiny bit cheeky. You were hoping this date could go somewhere. Somewhere that would take your mind of JK.
It wasn’t long until there was a knock at your door and you couldn’t help the butterflies forming in your stomach. It wasn’t him that made you nervous. It was the entire idea of a blind date.
You took a deep breath as you opened the door and there he was.
He was adorable. Floppy blonde hair falling in front of his face, round glasses that cover all of his face and magnify his small eyes to you, he was dressed smart, jeans and a shirt. He had given you a fantastic first impression. God you hoped more than ever that this date was going to go well. In his hands were flowers, Red roses, one of your favourite flowers.
He reached them out towards you gently handing you the flowers.
“___, You look lovely”
Your smile filled your face as you took the flowers.
“Jae, lovely to meet you. Thank you”
You blushed so hard. You could feel your face heat up. You couldn’t believe it. You don’t blush. Ever. This was too good to be true for you.
He was such a lovely person. He drove, that was always a plus and when he opened your side of the car door first, you ticked off your list of imaginary perfection as you settled in. He made small talk. Nothing too serious. Not enough to really get to know him but enough to stop the drive being awkward. Where did your Mum find him? You can’t believe you’re enjoying the company of somebody your Mother suggested.
As you rocked up to where you were eating you were surprised. It wasn’t some fancy restaurant but a small quaint cafe that sold food as well. It was cute but busy. You supposed that meant it was good.
He walked you in and you both sat at the very back of the cafe and started to order your food. Jae ordered for you, you usually wouldn’t like that but you know he was just trying to be polite so you let it slide. Besides he knew the food here much better than you did so it would be a good idea to take his recommendation.
The date was going well. He told you he was in fact the son of one of your parents friends from the church. When he mentioned being religious you’d be lying if you said you weren’t slightly thrown off. You had nothing against religious people but you wanted your life to be separated from it but, I guess if the guys were nice enough it was never going to be a deal breaker for you. He talked about how his parents and your parents and a few of the other church goers children all became friends and were a close group growing up. You don’t know why but, that kinda made you sad. Like you were left out. It didn’t help the part of you that always felt like a loner growing up. You hadn’t become a part of your parents church life growing up because you wanted to distance yourself but when that’s all your family really did, it did leave much more for you to do. You spent most of your days listening to music in your bedroom. You remember one time you decided to go to your parents get togethers. It was boring, you stood there in the corner not really talking to anybody. You left very early on telling your parents you weren’t feeling well. You knew it was your choice to not be involved in any of this but, that didn’t stop you from feeling left out.
“Oh, hey Jae”
You heard a voice that sent shivers down your spine and your eyes bugged out.
“Oh Jeongguk, Hey how are you doing?”
As you turned your head there he was, walking towards your table. Your mouth felt like it had been sewn shut. What the hell was he doing here. How did he even know you’d be here. Panic started to set into you as you turned back around to Jae about to speak. About to explain to him tha… Wait. Did they just say each other’s names?
“___, This is Jeongguk”
He went to sit down next to Jae across from you. How long had you been silent? Surely Jae could see the complete confusion and concern written across your face, but it wasn’t Jae who addressed it.
“___, Are you okay, it’s good to see you”
“Oh, you know ___?”
“Yeah, of course we go way back, ever since we”
“We met-” You had to stop him talking. You didn’t know him well enough to know what he was going to say but you knew it wouldn’t be good”-we met through work”
Your voice must have been louder than you were anticipating since when you spoke, Jae seemed to jump a little bit.
Jeongguks face fell. He seemed so disappointed in what you had said proving to you that he was indeed going to say something else.
“No, we met through your mums church group remember ___”
What the fuck, how did Jeongguk know about your mums church group and why was he even here.
“Ahem, Jeongguk. I’m on a date, what are you doing here”
It felt strange addressing him this way. This is somebody you’d slept with and this was the first time you’d had a true conversation with him that wasn’t over the phone or wasn’t you screaming at him, im pleasure or annoyance. He was wearing a soft looking pink jumper and black ripped jeans. He looked adorable.
“Oh, sorry ___, I invited him-” He looked back towards Jeongguk and smiled “Church rules that on dates you should always bring somebody along you know, to make sure nothing gets to inappropriate”
Your confusion was deepend. Jae and Jeongguk knew each other. Jeongguk knew about your parents church groups. He was supervising your date. Your confusion lasted about 46 seconds until it hit you. It hit you and my god did it make you feel sick to your stomach.
“You’re part of my parents church group”
His face didn’t feel familiar before now but now, now you can ever so slightly place it.Him sat in the pews of his parents church. It’s not much but it’s something.
“___, Are you okay you seem off”
Jae, the poor boy must be so confused. You’re usually a better actor than this but you were just figuring out things that you’d never known before. How long has he really been around for. Does he know your family? Did he set all of this up?
“Jae, we don’t need a chaperone. Were both adults here”
“Oh but isn’t that the problem, wouldn’t want this to turn into anything else would we. You’re a very pretty girl ___”
At that you could see Jeongguk clench his jaw and raise his voice ever so slightly.
“Pro-life or Pro-Choice Jae”
Jeongguk just looked at Jae and gave a twisted smile. You were about to stop this entire shambles of a date and scream at Jeongguk when Jae gave his answer.
“Life of course Jeongguk, what a weird question”
“Wait what” You shook your head looking at Jae extremely surprised by his answer. There’s a lot of things you can overlook in a person but this opinion wasn’t one of them
“___, you’re not really pro-choice are you. That’s not what God intended”
That was it. You weren’t dealing with this shit anymore. Why would you get your hopes up for anything in your life anymore. You screamed at Jae for his ignorance as he decided to leave. Leaving you stood there angry. Breathing heavy as tears rolled down your face.
“And you. Get the fuck out of my face”
A once smiling Jeongguk was now looking in despair. He couldn’t believe you had directed your anger towards him; he didn’t understand what did he do? He got you out of this mess. That’s what you wanted
“I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again. This is your fault. This is all your fucking fault.”
“Baby, I was just trying to help you, trying to get you out of this date. Trying to stop you cheating on me you’d regret it so bad baby especially since were having a baby”
You were frozen in anger and bewilderment. How did he still think of you and him this way. What more did you have to do or say to make him understand that you and him have never been a thing, and why the fuck was he still going on about you having a baby. He knows everything in the world about you but not the fact that you weren’t pregnant.
“Jeongguk, I am not and will never be having. Your. fucking. Baby”
Every word was punctuated with anger laced in venom. Hand coming across his face as you slapped him. Tears rolling down his face. Hand pressed against where your hand had just been. You didn’t feel bad. You didn’t feel sorry. Even if there were lots of people watching the disaster unravel at your table. You didn’t care.
You turned around and you ran. You ran away as fast as you could away from all of this.

Two hours had passed. First you just walked. Walked down the streets, tears falling down your face. You didn’t know what to do or where to go. Nowhere was safe for you. Especially not your home. Maybe you could go see your Mother. Maybe you could tell her and she would understand. No, not yet,besides did she know Jeongguk? He knew Jae, he knew your family’s life. He was part of it somehow. You needed answers from somebody, maybe she could help and give you answers to guide you on what to do. You had some many questions in your head and so you just walked and walked and so you continued walking until the tears stopped falling and you were in front of your doorstep at your house. It was dark and foggy outside. You looked at your phone and saw your missed calls of your mum and dad. Maybe they heard about what had happened and wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn’t feel like talking. You’d call them tomorrow.
As you turned the door handle to your front door and walked into your house there he was. Stood there, flowers in his hands. Red roses and Yellow sunflowers. How did he know. He always managed to one up everybody else because he just knows everything. Just like the question he asked Jae. He knew exactly what to ask and what to say to really make your blood boil and that’s what really made you hate him. He could use everything he knew against you where you’ve only just learnt his name
“Get out”
You hadn’t even got in the house yet and you were walking towards him screaming. You needed this night to be over you needed it all to stop.
“Baby please”
He looked so fragile. How dare he look that way after everything he’s done. Pink jumper making him look so soft and small but that is not it. That wasn’t him at all.
“Jeongguk get the fuck outta”
Your words were cut off as he slammed you against the wall. It hurt, there was so much force. You were shocked. You didn’t expect him to do that and you didn’t expect him to be so strong. For the first time in a long time. You were scared of him.
“Baby is okay I forgive you. I forgive you baby I know you didn’t mean to slap me, it was my fault”
He pushed his forehead up against yours looking deep into your eyes. You didn’t know what to say. You had no more tears left to cry. You were so scared to say anything so you let him ramble on.
“Baby girl is all gonna be okay. I’m sorry as well okay. I should have trusted you. Should have known you wouldnt cheat me. I know you would have dealt with him but when he called you pretty. I lost it. Needed you to hear the one thing I knew you’d hate about him”
His knowledge on you was insane. Nobody knew you this well. Nobody paid so much attention to you.
“I got needy, Needed you to know nobody is better for you than me but its okay now. It’s all okay”
He started stroking your hair as he was talking. You were lost. Stuck in his touch.
“Its okay about the baby. We can try again. Is that why you were in such a weird mood? God I wish i’d have known, you bad mood makes so much sense now baby but It’s okay, its okay. We can try until you really do get pregnant”
His words snapped you out of it. No, no this wasn’t going to happen again. You pushed him off you ready to scream when you heard a knock and a shout at the door
*Thud Thud Thud* “___, Open this door. Open this door right now”
Your mom’s voice ran through the house. What on earth was she doing? And before you knew it she opened the door, looking straight at you and Jeongguk staring at each other.
“___-” she looked side to side trying to figure out what was going on”-Jeongguk”
“You fucking know him”
You didn’t mean to swear at her. Usually you wouldn’t. She’d understand later when you explained. Or at least you thought.
“Don’t you dare talk to me like that!-” She pointed at you stalking towards you as she yelled “Not after everything you did tonight. I’ve had Jaes parents on the phone telling me what a rude a vial little girl you were”
“I’m not a little girl”
Little girl. You were in your mid twenties and yet when your parents were mad at you they would both refer to you as a little girl. It was your most hated phrase you’d ever heard come out of anybody’s lips.
“How dare you ruin yet another chance of being a normal nice person”
You shouldnt be hurt by her words but you were. This wasn’t the first time you heard her say such a thing and it still stung as bad as the first time. Maybe it was because of the day you had with her yesterday. Why did you think for a second she’d be calling you because she cared. Because she was worried. All she was ever worried about was how you made her look to other people. Your lip started to quiver as a tear ran down your cheek, yet again filled with disappointment. Knowing you were such a disappointment
“Mum ple-”
“Shut up. You go around. You bring shame on us all. Me, your father, your sister. Why can’t you just settle down and have a child. Find a man and give up this pathetic excuse of a life. You’re never going to find somebody to love you if you don’t start acting appropriately”
You wanted to shout back but another voice cut you off. A calm but menacing voice
“Don’t you ever speak to her like that. Ever again”
You mum stops looking at you for the first time since she started shouting and gives all her attention to Jeongguk who walks towards the door.
“For your information I love her no matter what and I always will. We’re trying for a baby, we were actually going to until you rudely interrupted walking in uninvited.” You saw your mum scoff at that. She may have wanted you to have a baby but she also didn’t like the idea of you having sex before marrage and as much as you hated everything Jeongguk was saying. You couldn’t help but get a rise out of her reaction as well.
Jeongguk kept talking to your mother about something that you weren’t understanding. You were too busy thinking about what she was saying. You felt beaten and destroyed. Your life wasnt working out, she was right. Maybe you should just find a man and have a baby and do what everybodys been telling you to do all these years.
You started crying eyes close until you felt a pair of lips on your own. Jeongguk. You pushed him away straight away in shock. You couldn’t do this. Couldn’t deal with it all and yet in your haze. Behind your tears you find yourself pulling him back.
Your mum thought you should have a baby. Fine, you would and luckily there was a man in front of you more than willing to provide.
His mouth clashed against yours. He was soft and slow but you wanted him to be rough with you. You wanted him to kiss you until you couldn’t think anymore. It was messy, mainly on your end. You could tell he was trying not to get carried away. You needed to speed this up.
“Jeongguk” You pulled on the back of his hair making him look you in the eyes. They were glassy. Full of adoration. Just where you needed him.
“Fuck a baby into me”
His groan was loud as he grabbed you kissing you harder. It was messy. You could tell he hadn’t done this before but it was turning you on so much. He was yours to defile and corrupt. He was yours to take away the pain of the night. If he was going to cause you so much pain then he’d also be the one to fix it.
“Can I take you to your bed baby, can we do this right?”
He words were shaky. That confidence he once had was gone. You took his hand and pulled him towards your bedroom and threw him on the bed straddling him grinding yourself on him. Your lips attacked his again and Jeongguks hands were all over your body exploring you.
“Wait please wait ___”
As he stopped you, you sat up and looked down at him. He looked so helpless it was adorable.
“We need to do it right this baby, I wanna make you feel so good. Make love to you while we make baby”
You wanted to lie to yourself and say his words meant nothing to you. Wanted to believe you were only doing this to get back at your mum but you’d be lying. He turned you on so much and no matter how much you know he shouldn’t you can’t stop it. You can’t control it.
“How do you want me baby?”
“Take your top off please, wanna play with your tits. Wanna play with you so bad.”
You do as he says straight away, throwing it across the room. He’s slow and hesitant but your patience is wearing thin. His words shooting straight to your core making your underwear so wet is was uncomfortable. You grab both his hands and hurry them towards your breasts making him squeeze them.
Next thing you knew you were on your back and he was on top of you
“Stop”
His voice was demanding and firm and you immediately stopped watching him above you stare into your soul.
“I’m not rushing this baby please. Please don’t make me rush this”
He’s kissing down your neck towards your nipple kissing around it dragging his tongue over it. You can’t help the gasp that leaves your lips as he attaches his mouth slightly grazing your nipple with his teeth.
“Don’t want- *slurp*- Don’t want you - *Ughh* - to be mad at me baby*
He talks while wetly slurping and moaning around your nipple. Its like he’d never seen tits before yours and it’s only as he does to play with the other one you remember that he probably hasn’t
“Wanna be a good boy for you-*Ughh* wanna make you cum*
“If you wanna make me cum Jeongguk your gonna have to touch me”
His eyes look up towards you not removing your nipple from his mouth until his next words.
“Call me baby, call me your good boy”
“Baby touch me”
Why were his words having such an effect on you? You’d never heard a man moan the way he his as he quickly rushed his hands down your jeans into your underwear as he attempts to finger you, His finger was dry and rough so it hurt
“Baby, baby stop stop”
He looked scared when you asked him to stop
“Don’t make me stop please ___ I dont wanna stop”
He tries to push his finger in deeper as you grab at his wrist and stop him
“You’re to eager baby calm down-” You sit up. Him moving to his knees, hands still firmly in your jeans stroking your pussy, making you slightly light headed as you unbutton your jeans and pull them down to your knees so you could open your legs.
You laughed when his eyes went down towards where his fingers were deep inside you groaning and moaning. God you missed his moans so much you kissed him. Wanted them all for yourself. His untrained kisses were so cute and soft and before he knew it you pulled his finger out of you and pushed it between your lips wrapping your tongue around his finger.
“Gotta get it wet first baby”
He couldn’t take his eyes off your tongue and it made you giggle.
You kept your hand on his as you guided it back down to your entrance, with your finger still against his you pushed it inside of you and your head luls back. His pretty tattooed fingers were so long your eyes rolled back and you let out a long moan.
“Rub me there omg Jeongguk your fingers are so long”
You pushed your finger up in turn making him push his up and you’re in ecstasy very quickly.
“Oh god yes it feels so good”
You could see him shuffling on the bed, his legs either side of the arm that was holding you up and then you felt him. Felt him grind against you as his fingers were still working inside you along with your own.
The position was awkward but fuck was it hot. He couldn’t help but grind against you for friction.
“Fuck you needy baby so needy”
Your faces were level with each other as you looked towards him to watch him hump your lower arm and he looked in pain.
“Baby you can fuck me now if you want”
Suddenly you were thrown back again on the bed as Jeongguk pushed his fingers in deep making you scream.
“Yess, scream for me please. Am I being a good boy?”
“Jeongguk youre such a good boy fuck”
His speed was relentless, he might not be the best kisser or the best and starting out but when he got started he really knew what he was doing.
“I’ve watched so much porn for you baby, wanted to learn. Did you get my texts, are you proud of me?”
You weren’t coherent anymore. His fingers were so deep you could feel it tingling in your toes. You grabbed the bedsheets and you screamed for him. You couldn’t focus on saying anything.
“Baby, pleaseeeee”
His wined so loud as he rubbed your insides pushing another finger in and you were gone. Cumming all over his fingers your body was jumping all over the place as the pleasure exploded inside of you.
You had no rest, Jeongguk didn’t get his answer and he was desperate for his answer.
He flipped you onto your stomach and pulled your top off and the rest of your pants down as he climbed on top of you pushing his cock into your entrance.
“Tell me you’re proud of me baby. Tell me you’re proud. Tell me your proud FUck. PLEASE”
His pace was relentless and you were trapped between his legs. Only thing you could do was lie there and take the pleasure he was giving you. You’d forgotten how thick his cock was. He filled you up so good you could barely breathe.
“So proud of you baby. You’re a good boy”
“Your good boy AHhha Yes yes fuck, Your good boy”
You’d never been fucked so hard and rough. His hands were firmly placed on your hips as he thrust in and out of you. You couldn’t control what your body was doing anymore. Your legs in the air behind him as you raised your hips ever so slightly, inviting him even deeper inside of you.
“Fuck baby im sorry, its so. Different when. Its FUCK. you I wanna cum, wanna cum. Wanna fill you up and make a baby with you.”
There it was. Exactly what you were here for.
“Fuck yes baby boy give me your cum, give me all your cum. Get me pregnant, give me your baby Yesss Shiiit!”
You were so loud. You’d never been this loud before in your life during sex but you couldn’t help it. You needed him. Needed his cum.
“No mistress you first. You need to cum first. Need to feel it on my cock for the first time. Claim my cock fuckkkk its all yours to claim
Did he just call you that? He was so fucking kinky… He’d never called you anything like that before and now you were dripping so much it was making such a mess You could hear it every time he fucked in and out of you. You thought about him cumming inside of you and you remember the last time he did it. So warm fuck you wish youd have basked in it longer. Let yourself enjoy him filling you up. Fuck, why were you doing this again. Thought completely clouded by the idea of being filled with him to a point you could feel your orgasam rushing through you yet again. Your screams could match a porn star right now and Jeongguk wasn’t faring much better either. His moans are so cute and high pitched above you. Fuck he was cute. So fuck sexy.
You turned your head to look at him as he fucked you. He was straddling you. Pink Jumper still on jeans pulled down ever so slightly letting his cock impale you. How can stombody look so cute while the fuck you so hard.
“Claim me baby-” His eyes moved from where you were joined towards your eyes looking up at him and his hips stuttered. You could tell he was trying to hard not to cum there and then “-Claim your good boys cock by cumming all over it”
You couldn’t deny that cute face as you threw your face into the bed as your orgasam rushed over your body making your pussy spasm all around Jeongguks cock. The pleasure was immeasurable as you screamed your cries of pleasure into the covers feeling Jeongguk follow behind you filling you up. You pushed your ass into him as he came determined to savour the feeling of him cumming inside you this time. It prolonged your orgasam to new levels as you felt him pulse just as much as you were. Fuck you were in bliss. You’ve never cum like that. Never been fucked till you couldn’t think and never have you been fucked so that you fall asleep as soon as your pussy stopped twitching

Chapter Text

Your head was killing you as you walked around your house aimlessly. You weren't sure what you were doing, were you looking for somebody? Were you supposed to be doing something?

It was only when you walked into your living room and saw him sitting there that you felt like everything made sense again.

You walked over and gave him a huge hug. You hadn’t hugged him in so long. Jeongguk was smiling, tucking his head into your shoulder as you embraced him, pulling your body close into his own.

"Baby, what're you doing at home you're supposed to be at work?" His voice rang softly in your ear as he pulled away, pushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"I missed you.”

You were confused by the words coming out of your mouth. You felt happy, safe and secure but why was something so off about all of this?

He took one of your hands into his own and laced your fingers with his, pulling you down onto the couch with him kissing your cheek soft and sweetly.

"Good, I'd rather you here with me anyway. I hate when you leave home to go to work,” you smiled back meekly, placing your hand against your cheek where he had just kissed you.

"Jeong-"

"Shhh, baby, it's okay," you felt him pull you back into a hug but this time closer; holding you tighter than before. You pushed him away as he tightened his hold on you, you felt like you couldn’t breath.

"Stop struggling, baby, you're never going to get to leave me. You're mine. Forever."

You couldn’t help but start shouting, struggling in his vice-like grip. You were screaming while he refused to let you go.

You were shouting out and struggling with all the strength you had but Jeongguk was barely even breaking a sweat as you thrashed around in his hold.

No.

No.

"No!”

You shot up in your bed, waking up in a pool of sweat. Your heart was pounding in your chest while you gasped for air.

"Baby?" You turned to the side and there he was, in your bed.

What? Oh fuck.

You felt him sit up behind you before he placed both hands on your arms, rubbing them in soothing motions. He moved his chest too, pressing it into your back as he started kissing your shoulder.

"Princess, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"

It’d been a long time since you were speechless.

What should you say now? What should you do?

This was your fault. You offered yourself up to him, you invited him into your bed. You had sex with him for a second time. There was only so much you could blame on him. You were indulging him in all of this.

"It's okay, lie down, baby, forget about it,” he pulled you down into his embrace and your mind lulled you back into your dream state where the feeling of lost breath was upon you once again.

You couldn’t help but shoot up away from him again, grabbing the covers quickly and using them to shield yourself from him before throwing yourself out of the bed to turn and look at him.

God, he was pretty in the morning.

His eyes were filled with sleep and his hair waved in every different direction. Cheeks slightly puffy and mouth very pouty.

Shit.

Why did he have to be like this? He was single handedly the best and worst person you'd ever known. He was loving and gorgeous and he stood up for you to your mother, but he was Jeongguk. JK. The same JK that'd been smothering you and stalking you for years.

"Baby, I'm worried ar-"

"Jeongguk, please don't do this," you looked at the floor, feeling completely ashamed of yourself. You'd done this with him before, just this time your positions have changed. This time he was the vulnerable one laying naked in your bed while you were looming over him, standing there in shock.

It all felt scarily familiar to you. You didn't want this to go the same way. You didn't want to scream and shout. You had to take responsibility for what you had done this time.

This is the first time you could remember really feeling sorry for him, in any other relationship what you'd been doing would have been wrong. You were practically using him, leading him on to use when you were in need, but this wasn’t any normal relationship.

Knowing that made you feel a little better about your actions, but now looking at him like this. Vulnerable and upset, a pang of guilt filled up within you.

"Don't do what, baby? It’s okay," he picked himself up and stood in front of you, pulling the covers around both of your bodies before placing a hand on your cheek.

Did he really not get it? Did he think last night changed everything over the past 5 years? There was no way that after everything he thought you were going to just start playing happy families with him.

As you were lost in thought he softly placed his lips over yours kissing you so gently that you could barely feel it. It was almost like he was testing the waters. He had been so sure with every word and action he’d done just a second ago but now he seems to be second guessing himself.

You entertained the kiss, for just a few seconds until he started wrapping his other arm around your body and once again you could feel the suffocating feeling of him holding you tight.

You snatched your lips away from his,mumbling the word ‘no’. You instinctively pushed him away from your body, leaving yourself completely exposed while he stayed wrapped in the blanket.

"Baby, don't do this again.”

He tried to walk towards you, holding his arms out with the blanket in an attempt to wrap you up in his arms again.

"Jeongguk, don't. Please, we ca-"

"Don’t!" his shout made you jump in your place and you could see that was the last thing he wanted from you as a reaction. He quickly tensed his jaw and scrunched his eyes shut; taking a deep breath. You could see the frustration in his, now, fully awake face. No longer were his eyes tired and cheeks puffy.

No.

His jaw had gone sharp as his eyes were focused on you. You'd never seen him look quite like this before. He always looked soft and kind.

Well, from the very few times you'd seen him that was. You remember you'd barely met him 3 times. You knew nothing about him or who he was. It clicked in your brain and fear flooded through you. This was a man who used to make you so scared. Day in, day out and for the first time in a long time you remembered why.

"-don't say it again, ___. Don’t do this to us again."

After he had taken his deep breath his features had all softened again. Going back to the version of him that you had come to know, he'd never once made you feel comfortable but this was better than the anger you had just seen in his eyes. You knew it better than the harsh looking face he'd given you before so his soft features should have been way more familiar to you, but, why are his angry eyes all you can think about at this moment?

"Jeongguk-" you snapped back, walking towards your wardrobe and grabbing any clothes you possibly could to cover yourself up with while you continued snapping at him "-there is no us, there has never been an us.”

You continued to shout at him. Telling him everything you felt about his constant declaration of ‘us’.

What ever made him think there was an ‘us’? Because you slept together?

You noticed him sit back down on your bed, breathing deeply through his nose in annoyance. As he sat there gaining his composure he was shushing you softly; hoping that you'd lower your voice.

You knew you didn’t want this to be a repeat of last time but the more he shushed you, with the same kind of shush a boyfriend would give you if you were crying and he wanted to calm you down, the more angry you couldn’t help but get.

You threw on a long white t-shirt and a pair of joggers to cover yourself up. You knew you looked anything but presentable right now. Your hair doing God only knew what while your clothes were now a disaster but, you didn’t care.

The annoyance you felt was taking over your ego.

"You’re stuck in this fantasy Jeongguk and you-"

It was only a second into your rant when you found yourself pushed up against your wall, a harsh burning pain centered where his hands had pinned you against it.

He was fully naked, exposed and vulnerable, and yet under his glare you felt like you were the one who was on display. It was only now you'd noticed the height difference between the two of you while he was looking down his nose at you. You could feel him moving his face near yours almost as if he was smelling you like his prey.

This was how you imagined your scary stalker all those years ago. He finally proved true to who he really was.

"This is not a fantasy, ___," he used his chin nudging yours to make you look deep into his eyes as he spoke. You could feel his breath on you as his nostrils flared while he was speaking "We share love for eachother. You love me and I love you. For five years you've let me follow you around like a lost puppy. You've always known I was there. I've looked after you more than anybody else has in your life. I've done so much for you, for us.”

"Jeongguk, I never asked f-"

"Shhhh, shhh," as he shushed you he pushed his cock towards your core and you couldn't stop the small whimper you let out, even his soft cock still felt heavy against you.

He ran himself slightly up, and down, and up, and down, while kissing towards your ear.

"I know you never asked, baby, but that's what you do for the person you love—" he started to chuckle as he pushed himself against you a little harder "—I know you love me because of the way you beg me to fuck you. You flirt with guys when you go out, you dress so sexy, but I can't remember the last time you let somebody fuck you the way you begged me to fuck you. You corrupted me, took my virginity and still wanted more of me. That's how I know you love me."

Love. He had to stop saying ‘love’. You didn't love him and he didn't love you, you'd be damned if you let him continue to think that way.

"You're obsessed with me. You don't love me,” you might as well have spat in his face with the words you spoke to him. He was taken aback.

You couldn’t believe that tears started falling down his face. You wanted to hold him and scream at him all at the same time but you refused to hold him or care about him after his display. If he was allowed to change up his personality in a second then so were you.

You were weak for him for a second while he was grinding up against you but not anymore. You pushed him off, finally releasing yourself from his strong grip.

"You don't have the fucking right, Jeongguk. You don't get to sit there and cry over this. Not after everything you've done to me, the way you've changed my life. You have no fucking right!"

You walked away, picking his clothes up off the floor and throwing them towards his chest.

"I will never let you near me again. I will never give you any more signals that I want you," you stomped over to your bedroom door, holding it open for him while you watched him get dressed while tears still streamed down his face.

"I will never love you Jeongguk. Never.”

He walked towards the door and looked you deep in the eyes. They were glassy and shined with his tears but your face was filled with venom towards him.

You stood there facing off with him when your phone started to ring, both of you looked towards it buzzing on your nightstand. You weren't going to answer it. You were going to stand here and wait until he left your life and this time you were going to make sure you stuck to your word. No more being overcome by your emotions. He was gone and he was gone for good.

You didn't know how long it had been while you watched him leave, it was as if he drew out every step, continuing to look in your eyes as tears streamed down his. But you stayed firmly planted where you were. You were going to look at him as he left and refuse to show any emotion.

You didn’t know why you felt some kind of emotion for him anyway, how could you possibly feel any kind of attachment to him?

Regardless of how you could, the truth was you did. You did feel something towards him which made watching him walk away like this difficult, but not enough to stop you glaring at him as he left. The only slip up was when he reached your front door and you heard a sob fall from his mouth.

That hurt. It stung like something you’d never felt before.

Fuck it.

You slammed the door behind him as he left your bedroom. You walked straight towards your phone that started ringing for the second time during your stare off.

It was your mum. Another person you had no interest in calling. So, why did you answer? Why were you so obsessed with family meaning everything even when they treat you like shit. You gave them chance after chance and they always disappointed you.

As you inevitably answered the phone you could feel your own tears running down your face and you couldn't hold them back. You were so disappointed with yourself. You let him in again and you were about to do the same with your mother.

There was something about answering the call that triggered the slightest whimpers to escape your lips while you tried to make sure she didn’t hear your pain on the other end of the phone.

"Hello?” You were too busy wiping the tears away from your eyes and catching your breath to answer her straight away. "Honey, ____, are you okay?”

"Hi, I'm okay," and before you could say much more she was rushing her words out down the phone

"Honey, what are you doing in a relationship with Jeongguk? Why didn't you tell me about this?"

You sighed. You weren't going to get angry about this. You were just too sad to stand there and defend yourself to her anymore.

"I'm sorry mum, okay? I'm sorry," you were certain she'd be able to hear the crying now. You were practically bawling down the phone to her. You dropped to the floor, your entire body was exacerbated from everything and you could barely hold yourself up anymore.

"___, you don't sound too good, don't cry, it's okay. I'm just surprised you’d want to be with him after everything that happened with your sister"

"What. What happened with her?"

You tears and sobs didn't stop with the question but your confusion and distress increased hugely.

What did your sister have to do with him?

It almost hurts you to ask, everytime you thought you understood what was going on with him more information was thrown at you that you just couldn’t handle. He started out as just a random stalker and now he was somebody that apparently you should have known about all along.

How much of this was your fault?

"Oh. honey. She was practically obsessed with him, don't you remember? She talked about him all the time."

That managed to stop your sobs. Too busy taking in the information, trying to remember what she was talking about as the tears still ran down your face.

"What? No, I don't."

You had to put this down to you not being close to your sister at all. Growing up you always wished the pair of you could be closer, she was your younger sister and you wanted to look after her but she was always just too cool for you.

And when you say ‘cool’ you meant: ‘choir girl, always sitting at the front during sunday mass’ type cool. The type of cool that just— wasn't cool. She thought she walked on air when she did anything and it wasn't a vibe you could get behind. You also blamed her for your parents' disappointment in you. She was everything they wanted there first born to be and you just— weren't.

You’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a slight resentment that you felt for her. Since she became the be-all end-all in your parents life is when you realised then that, no matter what you did, you’d never amount to anything. The closer you tried to be to your family, the more your perfect sister would make you look worse.

"They were so close for about 4 years when they were 16, she was so smitten with him. She thought God had brought them together," you couldn't help but notice the little laugh your mum gave off as she told the story.

You were far from laughing.

When they were sixteen? That was about seven years ago. She was two years younger than you meaning Jeongguk had been around since you were about eighteen. How had he been in your life this long without you even noticing him?

"I- I didn’t know."

"It was only when his parents died a few years back he stopped talking to her completely. He broke her heart ____, his parents were such wonderful people it must have been so hard for him. I was the last person his mother called, you know? I wish I would have picked up at the time,” you could hear how uncomfortable she felt. "Anyway, he really hasn't mentioned this to you?"

Why did you feel a pang of hurt when you heard about his parents? You shouldn't care. You didn’t know anything about him or them that would elicit such a reaction from you but, it just did. You felt sad. Was he lonely?

Your mum was waiting for an answer though so it seemed. That reminded you of one thing you hadn't thought about this entire time. How do you explain any of this to her?

Last thing that happened was Jeongguk making her leave your house. You don't know what he said or did. You had zoned out at that point after being screamed at but you knew he gave her the impression that you and him were an item; no doubt about that. You were so busy talking about your sister you hadn't even thought about explaining it to her.

“We weren’t really that big on small talk, and well— we’re not together anymore.”

You thought going for the ‘we were in a relationship but now we've broken up” angle might have been for the best. That way you didn’t have to explain anything that had been going on and you could play awkward if she ever mentioned him again but you were curious about what happened between him and your sister.

Everyday you feel like you found out more and more about him and yet every little bit of information you get made things that little bit more confusing.

“Mum sorry, I eh-” you were trying to think of an excuse but nothing seemed to come to mind so you just didn't give one, “-I have to go.”

You put the phone down on her, you didn't want to talk anymore and you wanted to think about everything that had gone on.

Where to start? Did you even want to start?

You could sit here for hours trying to figure everything out about him, you’d gotten enough information that if you just cleared your mind even slightly you'd be able to figure something out but you were also dead set on cutting him out of your life so what was the point?

What would you get out of it, other than mad curiosity that could only lead to an even bigger mess than you were already in. With that you made up your mind.

You were going to sit and think about it.

So, Jeongguk was a part of the church circle, that explained everybody knowing him, like your sister and your mum and Jae.

He’d been around for a long time. Since you were eighteen. That was before you first saw him through your window. Two years before it, in fact.

Had he been watching you since then? Or since you were eighteen?

Either way, if your sister really was smitten with him for four years while he was stalking you at the same time, was he friends with her? Did she have him round to your house? How close were they when he was doing this, and he only stopped talking to her after his parents died? As tragic and awful as that was, it meant you had nothing to do with them not talking anymore, was he even aware that your sister was smitten with him?

Well turned out you were wrong. You couldn't piece any of it together; you just had a million more questions.

You needed to know what was going on, if not for your sake then for your sisters. You knew what you were about to do was extremely stupid, but when you saw the phone that Jeongguk had given you on the side of your dresser stupidity had become genius in your mind.

…

Jeongguk was pacing back and forth in his bedroom trying to get his head around everything.

What was he doing wrong? He couldn't figure it out. You didn't think he loved you? That made no sense at all. Everything he'd ever done. The good. The bad. The ugly. It’d all been for you.

You were so clever and observant, and yet you weren't seeing or understanding everything he did.

But that wasn't the worst part in his mind. The worst part was that your doubt on how much he loved you was making you hide your feelings from him. He would never be able to soothe the sting in his heart when you pretended you didn't love him. You were so scared that he’d failed so badly at showing his love for you that you refused to admit your love for him.

He was angry. Not at you, at himself.

He was so busy doing everything he could to show you his love for you that he forgot to listen to what you really wanted. It was obvious.

He had done so much for you and selfishly he forgot to do what you wanted him to do. He needed to refresh.

Start again, this time with everything you wanted him to do. He started pulling his hair, trying to think of what he needed to do next, he couldn’t lose you; not now. Not after you had both become so close lately. You were finally becoming what he always knew you would and he was ruining it.

His fist slammed against his computer desk that sat next to his bed when he heard a vibrating sound coming from his bed. Just one simple buzz that set his heart a light.

There was only one person that could be. Nobody else has his mobile number, only his home phone. He couldn't ever risk missing a message or a call from you, even though you'd never called or messaged before. He knew you would when you got over your shyness.

He moved so quickly picking it up, heart beating through his chest with love. A message from you.

Ruler of my ❤: What the fuck happened with you and my sister!?

Did you date her?

How did you even get close to her?

How have you been such a huge part of my life without me even knowing?

How long have you been following me around, Jeongguk? Did you use my sister just to get to me?

It wasn't the message he wanted but he couldn't help but smile just a little bit when he realised this was the first ever text you had sent him. He felt it in his heart, so proud that you were trying to reach out to him.

He didn't really know how to explain the thing with your sister. He’d done everything he could to make sure that you never even knew he was friends with her, how did you find out? They never dated at all. Is that why you were mad at him? You thought he dated her?

He knew she was deeply in love with him but she was his way to getting closer to you. He couldn't risk calling it off because it might mean that he'd lose all access to you. At first he didn't even know she was your sister, it was only when he was leaving and he saw you through your bedroom door he realised. He was so happy.

He'd searched for you after the party on the Internet but you weren't one to give away much information. He thought finding you would be impossible, but there you were sitting in your room in his best friends house on your phone. He was shocked.

Your sister hadn't even mentioned you before, he didn't even really know she had a sister at all. He remembered being angry that she'd kept you away from him. He stayed friends with her for another two years but he never really felt the same about their friendship. But he knew he needed to reply. Let you know he was paying attention but how? What could he say to make you feel better?

To: Ruler of my ❤: Baby, I didn't do anything with your sister, I promise. I would never do that. I was already so head over heels in love with you she meant nothing to me.

It has always been you, only you. We were friends through school and our parents went to the same church so we just got close but it was never anything more. I'd never do anything like that, not after the shows you'd give me.

I remember you’d undress for me when your sister left the room, you made sure your door was never completely locked and you did that just for me. I'd never risk that. Ever.

You know I've been with you forever but when I first saw you at that party I was 16, and then when I found you again I was 18.

That's when we fell in love, even though I know I fell in love with you the first time I saw you at 16, but you had no idea who I was back then.

I didn't use her I swear, but aren’t you glad she brought us together? If it wasn't for her we may not have what we have now.

He didn't know why you were choosing now to test him on your relationship with him but if it made you happy he'd answer every question you had. He didn't let the phone out of his sight. He sat on his bed. Phone clutched in his hand making sure if you did reply he didn't make you wait a second longer for your answers.

As he waited and waited he kept hope that you would answer him, reply to his message and he was in luck. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into you today but you obviously wanted to talk to him.

Ruler of my ❤: This is too hard to talk about over text, Jeonguk, I need answers about everything. I need to know exactly what's happening here.

His heart lit up, you wanted to talk to him. Properly. He couldn't help the giddy feeling that came up and painted his cheeks pink. You'd never asked to have a real conversation with him before. You were both always so overcome with lust whenever you were together that a real conversation wasn’t even in the question. He couldn’t erase the smile plastered on his face as he messaged you back.

To: Ruler of my ❤: I’ll call you now, baby, we can talk about everything.

As he went into his phone book and pressed on the only number in there, ready to call, another message came through from you.

Ruler of my ❤: No, we need to talk in person. None of this bullshit texting or calling. We're adults and we’re going to handle this like adults. We meet in public, I don't feel safe around you enough to meet in private, and you give me all the answers I'm looking for, okay?

You didn't feel safe around him in private? Were you scared that he'd just try and have sex with you again? He wasn't going to deny that he wanted you. Wanted you at all times every single day of his life but if you wanted to talk that's all he would do this time.

To: Ruler of my ❤: Okay, just tell me when and where and I’ll be there. I'll do anything to prove I love you.

Ruler of my ❤: Coffee shop next to my house called 'Happy Coffee'. Tomorrow at 1 O'clock.

He knew that coffee shop well. You used to go there all the time with your friend when you lived in your old apartment. He'd never gone in before. He never wanted you to feel smothered by him so he always sat outside across the road just making sure you were having a good day. Making sure he was there ready for if anything happened.

To: Ruler of my ❤: I'll be there, I promise, I can't wait.

Ruler of my ❤: And Jeongguk, I’m sorry about your parents.

You were soft for him, that's all he ever wanted to hear. It was worth all the shouting and the unknowing of your emotions. All the hard work he put into everything knowing that you really did care.

He couldn't stop thinking about you that night, just like every other night. There was something different about it this time though. This time his heart swelled a little bit bigger, his smile was a lot wider, and this time, his cock was harder. All he could think about was telling you how much he loved you while kissing you.

Kissing you everywhere was all he really wanted to do. You’d had sex twice now and you’d even had phone sex but he didn’t feel fulfilled, he didn’t feel like he'd given you everything you deserved yet. He hadn’t had a chance to worship you. He knew he loved you more than anything else in the world but if you kept up your sexual drive with him he knew he would become obsessed.

He'd eaten you out before but what he wouldn't give to be able to do it properly. Have you sit on his face while he licked you inside out. All he wanted was your praise. He knew he could do a good job if you'd just let him try.

He was pumping his cock furiously while laying in his bed, his hair falling around his face, tongue reaching out pretending you were right there on top of him. Thinking about how you'd moan, how you'd taste, it had him moaning louder than he had before. He was so weak for you.

"Ah yes, noona, yes. Please— ah," he was losing control over himself and couldn't help what he was doing. He knew if somebody was watching him right now he'd look pathetic.

Sweating, pretending to eat you out while one hand was on his cock and the other was pretending to trace the outlines of your body.

Usually he'd try and hold out on his orgasam. Training himself not to cum too quickly with you but he was too lost in his bliss, you wanted more from him and that was fucking heaven to him. His hips started stuttering into his hands as he started moaning louder and louder, spilling onto himself.

"Yes, like it when I kiss your pussy, baby, like it when I'm your slave— ah fuck— y-yes, ride my face please, please, I love you, ___." He didn't even bother cleaning himself off. Pretending he was holding you as he drifted off to sleep.

…

The road was long, he must have been in the backseat for at least an hour so far. He didn't understand where they were taking him, he just hoped that it wouldn't take too long. All he wanted to do was get home and keep reading your diary.

It'd been all he'd done for the past week. He managed to take it from your room while you were out. He told your sister he was going to the bathroom but he couldn't help sneak into your room on the way, he found your diary and he knew it would be the best way to your heart. He could read it and find so much more about you.

He looked towards his parents who were in the front, his mum driving the car while his dad looked at the window staring at nothing. They told him they were doing something with their church group and he just went along with it like he always did. Like he always had to.

"How long is this going to take dad?"

He needed to know how long he was going to have to wait until he could see you again. Or at the least find out that little bit more about you. You were the most interesting subject he'd ever known. He'd been studying you for about 4 years now and not once did you become uninteresting to him.

"Jeongguk, we need to talk." His mum continued to drive whilst his dad turned around to look at him, Jeongguk recognised that face.

Disappointment, it was one his father showed him often. As soon as Jeongguk decided religion wasn't for him his father never really looked at him the same. He always showed love but never, care, he never seemed to like him anymore.

"What's wrong?"

"Jeongguk, what are these?"

Jeongguk’s father reached into the cars glovebox
compartment and pulled out a pair of women’s underwear. Your underwear to be exact. The ones he took while he was searching around for your diary.

Jeongguk felt jealous, why was his dad touching them? He had no right, nobody had the right to touch them other than him.

His face dropped into slight anger. He knew he should be worried that his dad had found them but the anger was too strong inside him that it was one of his last worries.

"Don't touch them,” Jeongguk’s voice came out like a snap as he tried to grab them out of his hand. His father simply pulled them away and stayed as calm as he could.

"Jeongguk we need to know, are you having sex—" he looked full of dissapontment once again "—is it that best friend of yours? Because if it is we're going to have to tell her parents."

They couldn't, they'd ruin everything.

The last thing he needed right now was for you to think that he was having sex with your sister. He’d made sure he'd never even touched another woman, he was waiting for you. It was going to be his gift to you. Full of romance and candles and so much love. He'd tell you he loved you and you’d moan it back.

It was a bliss he'd thought about since he knew you, and now, now they were going to ruin it all.

"No! No, I’m not. Please, I'm not— I promise." He turned to begging. He didn't care what his parents thought at this point as long as it wasn't that.

"Jeongguk, we don't believe you. We're taking you to the church therapist—“ he looked towards his wife in the driving seat and if Jeongguk was paying attention he'd see a slight look of guilt. Almost as if it wasn't him who wanted you to go.

"We’re going to talk about this with him, we’re going to talk to her parents to let her know the situation. You’re twenty years old and shouldn't be having sex with that girl, it’s that simple."

To anybody else listening in they would sympathise with Jeongguk. He was a twenty year old man who was still being scolded for the possibility of having sex, but that was the last thing that was on his mind.

All he could think about was everybody pulling him away from you. They were going to destroy everything he'd worked so hard for. He couldn't. He wouldn't let them do this. His voice got louder as he screamed at his father

"No! You can't do this, you can't take me away from her!! You won’t!"

Jeongguk was in hysterics. Kicking and screaming as his father slightly backed down, but when his dad backed down, his mother always stepped in. She was much more imposing than his dad was, and as soon as she got involved Jeongguk knew there were going to be problems.

"Jeongguk, this is happening, don't try to fight it. In fact, I’m calling her mother now."

Jeongguk felt his life flash before his eyes as his mum reached for her phone and dialed what he presumed was your parents number. As the phone started to ring everything seemed to go in slow motion for him.

All he could think about was what he could do to stop it

All of a sudden he was pulled out of the car and you were stood there, arms stretched out waiting for him and in a second you were gone again.

When he woke up in the hospital bed attached to a machine with doctors all around him he couldn't remember a thing. But as the doctors gave him all the information about the crash all he could think about was when the next time he'd get to see you would be, and then the ringing of his mother’s voice telling him she would tell your parents everything.

He screamed out for his mum, tears falling from his eyes, scared for his life with you, he was weak but all he wanted was to find out if she told you, told your family. If they dirtied up the image you had of him. It was only then, when he was trying to fight his way out of the doctors arms that they told him of the fate of his parents.

The tears of joy that came from his eyes were mistaken as tears of sadness from all the doctors around. They slowly disappeared as you walked through the door. Nothing stood in his way as he walked towards you and you held him.

"You did it, baby boy. Such a good boy. You saved us." As he leaned in to kiss you everything disappeared.

He woke up, covered in sweat and all he wanted to do was fall back to sleep and continue his dream of you.

Looking at his alarm clock it was three am, still so much time to make up before he managed to see you again. He was so overtaken by nerves that he couldn't manage to fall back to sleep so he did what he always did when he was feeling uneasy.

He wrote you a note. He didn't know if he would get the chance to give you this one. He wrote so many that you would never get to see, they were full of his thoughts and feelings.

He took out his phone and looked at the pictures he took of you the day he found you spread out on your bed for him. At the time he felt a slight guilt for taking them but now looking at them he was in awe, a simple place of bliss that only you could give him.

He took a pen to paper and wrote down everything he was feeling.

Baby, I can't stop thinking about you.

One day we'll be together completely, nothing in the way stopping us from being together. We've faced so many obstacles but we have overcome every one of them and we only manage to become stronger because of them

I know I'm a broken record at this point but I can't wait to make love to you again. This time it will last the night. We can tell eachother just how much we love eachother with our bodies. I remember years ago reading in your diary that all you wanted was somebody you loved and could have great sex with. It kinda made me chuckle at the time. In your words "I want a good boy".

Baby, I've been that for you in ways you don't even know.

I hope we managed to make a baby last night, and if we didn't at least we can have a chance to make one again. I'll spend my life making a baby with you if that's what you want. I know you love it when we fuck baby.

Jeongguk couldn't help but blush reading that part. He never thought you'd be so into sex with him considering he barely knew what he wasdoing. He acted on animal instinct when you were around, pounding inside of you wanting your screams louder and louder, in the future though he’ll have learned everything you really liked. He didn't want to make you cum, he wanted you to scream and feel pleasure in ways you’d never felt it before.

I want to show you just how much I love you when we make love. You’re my world. You have been for 7 long years, and you will be for the rest of my years as well. I’ll hold you tight and never let go of you— I promise. I will spend the rest of my life proving my love to you.

Chapter Text

You should have just let him call you, what were you thinking?

How could it possibly be a good idea for you to meet up with him anywhere?

You were too blinded by your curiosity. You needed answers and he knew all of them, but was this really the best way to get them?

When you were making the plan it was foolproof in your head but now you were sat here thinking about it, all you could think was how stupid it was. You could have got all the answers you wanted out of him over the phone but no, something inside you wanted to see the look on his face as he told you everything you needed to know.

The light was blinding you through your curtains, making you tuck your head back into your pillow. It was eightin the morning, you felt like your alarm clock was judging you as you lay in bed, thinking about what you’d done. You reached over and pushed it forward so it lay on its face and you didn’t have to look at it anymore.

You sighed tiredly, you didn’t want to wake up, you had a busy day yesterday. After you planned to meet up with Jeongguk you knew there were two more things you had to do to protect yourself. The morning after pill and a doctor's appointment for that pill. If you couldn't trust yourself around him you were going to have to do something about it.

The morning after pill made you feel so ill. You were out of action for most of the day, just laying in your bed with stomach pains feeling sorry for yourself about the situation you had put yourself in. You didn't have time to feel tired though, as your doctor's appointment was in a hours time, it was just a prescription so luckily you didn’t have to go in and talk to your doctors about all of your issues and how many people you’d slept with.

It was just not something you wanted to talk about at the moment. You used to be on the pill while you were with your last boyfriend so you knew it could be awkward as hell talking to the doctor about it. You came off a few weeks after you broke up with him to give your body a break and you just didn't end up going back on it simply because there was no need to.

You hadn’t been with anybody since him two years ago, work was always too busy and things were always in the way. Now though, now it was something you were going to have to do for the sake of your sanity and the possibility of not being able to control yourself.

You could just not sleep with him of course, but it wasn’t like you ever planned to in the first place so you weren't taking any more chances. Your feelings about him were so conflicte, if it wasn't for his slight outburst yesterday you could have found yourself growing soft for him just a little bit.

But that look in his eyes while he pinned you against the walls. That was something you didn't think you’d be able to forget, and ever since the dream you had about him the night before, the idea of getting close to him made you feel suffocated. As if something was wrapped around you and wouldn’t let go.

You were secretly happy for these feelings reminding you of who he really was. It stopped you from allowing yourself to get too close. Maybe the dream came to save you. To wake you up to everything that was happening. A blessing in disguise.

You pulled yourself out of bed and opened your blinds, scowling a little as the sun came beaming through. You hated how light it was so early in the morning, it always woke you up and it meant it was dark as hell when it reached five in the evening.

You hated when it would get dark early, you always finished your shifts at work around six, meaning you had to walk home in the dark, something that you’d been uneasy about for the past five years. That thought was so strange to you now. He was the reason for so many negative things in your life, a shadow without a face, it was almost comical what he had become to you now.

You walked over to your wardrobe to find something to wear for the day. You had to dress cleverly today, cover up as much of yourself as you could. Make sure nothing was on display.

Jeongguk kept saying how you’d been giving him signs and you couldn’t risk that this time. You couldn’t risk him thinking for even a second that you saw him more than what he really was.

A big baggy grey jumper and some plain black jeans, that would do it. You contemplated sweatpants but remembered that you had to go to the doctors first and didn’t want to look too run down.

As you walked out of your room, knowing that you had to set off within the next five minutes you were distracted by the baby clothes that still sat on the table.

Everything seemed to be a reminder of him, as if he already lived in your house with you. Every time you turned around something was there that made you think about him. The living room had the baby clothes, the bathroom was where he came to run you baths on multiple occasions, your bedroom.

Nope.

Weren’t gonna think about that.

You walked over and picked the clothes up, taking them back to your bedroom and hiding them in the wardrobe. You didn’t really know what to do with them. You couldn’t just bin them, there will be plenty of people who may need them— but who?

You really weren’t sure but that was where you decided would be the best place to keep them for now until you came up with the best solution. As you took note of the time and realised you might be cutting things a little bit close, you power walked out of your house and headed to the doctors to pick up your prescription as quick as you could.

…

Jeongguk didn’t get much sleep at all. He spent most of his time writing you letters, trying to pass the time.

To say he was nervous would be an understatement. He had butterflies in his tummy and he couldn’t keep the smile off his lips. It was only when he was sitting at his desk last night that he realised that this would be your first date.

Your first real one anyways. There had been plenty of times you’d gone out and he’d sat far away making sure you were as safe as possible, but this time he could be next to you. He’d be able to smell you, touch your hand, be seen with you. He wanted to walk down the street with you, your hand in his while he let the world know that you’d finally let him belong to you; completely.

His heart raced, he’d spent the entire night changing clothes to find what he would look best in. He was always so confident in what he looked like and what he did, knowing he was considerably talented and attractive.

But there was something about being with you that always made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. He’d never feel enough for you. That was why his heart always beat so fast when he remembered that you chose him.

You wanted to be with him. He knew he didn’t deserve you but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do anything possible to be the perfect person for you.

When he finally settled on an outfit it was a black and white striped turtleneck and some black leather looking jeans.

Was it too much for a coffee date?

Maybe. But if you were going to be out with somebody you deserved to be out with the best.
He’d even shaved the sides of his head while he was waiting. He’d already settled on changing for you so he might as well go all out.

He knew you’d love this, he saw the pictures of the celebrities you’d crushed on for years and this was the perfect look. It helped that he loved it as well.

Yeah.

He looked great, and he was confident about that. He picked up his phone, looking at the time. Still three hours until he had to meet you.

His hands were shaking, the closer it got to seeing you again the more nervous he felt. As he went through his phone, looking and making sure everything was ready, he clicked onto his mobile banking. He wanted to know the damage he’d done while buying you everything he could. He noticed he’d made quite the dent while buying you baby clothes and the phone, he’d even bought you a few new presents last night.

He didn’t want to give you them all at once. He wanted to make you feel spoilt for presents. One for every time he would visit you for at least the next ten times.

He was going to have to make a bit more money, and fast if he was going to be able to keep it up though. He had more than enough to buy you both coffee today but not enough to spoil you the way you deserve.

If he was quick he would probably be able to make a bit of money within the next hour but he’d spent so long getting ready that he didn’t want to risk wasting any time. When he started work he always got so engrossed in it, especially when the subject was as enticing as you. You weren’t always the muse for his work but he struggled making it anybody else.

In his line of work he could have you however he wanted you, but now he had you in real life. It wasn’t worth getting engrossed and missing his time with you. He could always make some more money later.

He should get to the Coffee shop early. Really show his commitment to you. Show that he has nothing to do that was more important than you.

If you knew how long he was there waiting for you, you’d love it. He just knew you would.

As he left his apartment and made his way to the elevator he really struggled to stop himself feeling nervous. He wouldn’t dream of canceling, but he'd always been so scared of spending time with you in case you noticed any flaws in him.

That was what took him so long to see you in the first place. He was a weak, scared, man when it came to you.

The lift reaching the ground floor must have taken about ten minutes in his head even though he only lived on the third floor. As he stepped out he noticed the rain pouring downstairs.

Was that going to stop you turning up?

He knew how much you hated it when it rained, you always canceled plans. That was the first thing he thought as he stepped out and stared out the windows.

God no, he couldn’t let that happen. No matter how nervous he was, he couldn’t lose this.
He pulled out his phone and sent you a text hoping that it would put you off canceling.

Ruler of My <3: Baby, I know you hate the rain so I’m going to make sure to pick you up an umbrella so that you have it for the way home.

Make sure to wrap up nice and tight. I completely forgot to bring a jacket so I won’t be able to give you mine if you need it. I’m sorry. I look forward to seeing you though. I’ll make sure we have a booth ready so that we can sit away from other people and just be together.

JK.

That should do it. It was something. Maybe knowing that he was still committed to seeing you would make you brave. You were always so much braver than him. He always admired that so much. As he left his apartment building he ran quickly to his car, trying to make sure his new hair didn’t get too wet and ruined.

The rain was already heavy, now falling down
onto his windscreen. He could hear it over everything as he got himself ready.

He made two stops before he ended up at the cafe. First one was to the small goodstore just down the road to pick you up an umbrella and a few other little bits and bobs that he needed, the second was a flower shop.

Who goes on a first date without flowers for their love?

Jeongguk was a hopeless romantic in every way possible and flowers on the first date was no exception.

…

What the hell had happened to the weather in the time it took you to pick up your prescription?

When you made it into the doctor's office it was raining, but barely, now it was absolutely chucking down to a point where the windows were drenched with splashes of water ricocheting off of it. You’d bought a jacket but nothing that was going to save you from this. You were never a huge fan of being out in the rain.

You loved the sound it made when it was crashing against your windows and you were tucked up tightly, but being out in it was a whole different thing. You never liked leaving the house.

Getting ready just to go out and get wet, rendering everything uncomfortable and horrible, just wasn't something you ever saw as worth it.

You took a deep breath while thinking about your best approach for going to the cafe. You didn’t drive so there was going to be no easy way of doing this. You’d just planned on walking but that was absolutely not going to happen at this point.

A bus it was gonna have to be, luckily you knew the exact bus route to get since this was a trip you’d have to make a few times before, the bad news was that you were going to be late since the bus only came every hour.

When you pulled out the phone to let Jeongguk know that you were going to be late you’d seen that he texted you an hour or so ago.

You already knew and you were trying to ignore it. You didn’t want anything affecting your mood for the day. You needed to be as clear headed as possible because you knew he wouldn’t.

There was a lot riding on this conversation for you today, everything had to work.

You managed pretty successfully to ignore the text while replying, letting him know you might be a few minutes late. You were going to be kind when you saw him, this was going to be civil and as stress free as possible.

As you braved the rain, you ended up waiting a good half an hour until the bus decided to finally show up. You hated getting buses anywhere. They were always so unreliable and full of people that seemed to make it their duty to aggravate you the entire journey, but the rain didn’t seem to be letting up at all.

As you sat down, your nerves seemed to kick into high gear. You’d not managed to process any nerves today. You’d made yourself busy with your appointment, choosing not to get out of bed until you had to so that you didn’t really have all that much time to think but now that you were sat on the bus waiting, you had nothing to do but to think about what was going to happen.

You couldn’t really pinpoint where the nerves were coming from. You could say it was the obvious, you were going to meet your stalker, but it just wasn’t that. You’d met him, you’d fucked him. It was more to do with being scared about what he would say.

Was this conversation actually going to make any difference to anything?

Maybe you were just hoping for too much from this. You’d convinced yourself that by the end of the day you’d have a real, normal life again but realistically, now you’d given yourself time to think that was just not the case. You’d never have a normal life, you barely had one to begin with before this all started but now it had gotten to the point that there was pretty much no turning back.

You couldn’t help but contemplate while you stared out the window waiting for your stop, everyone you went past made you a little more nervous than the last.

It wasn’t long before you were the next one up. You pushed the stop button, standing up and taking a real deep breath. As you hopped off you didn’t really have time to compose yourself with the rain crashing down. The last thing you wanted was to be wet and uncomfortable while you were sitting there, which forced you to run straight to the cafe.

Why didn’t the bus stop have a shelter? You thought to yourself as you were making your mad dash, jacket thrown over your head.

You were here.

It took you a second to realise but as soon as you stepped in front of the windowed door looking into the cafe, you realised that this was actually it. You were going to talk to him one-on-one and have the chance to really set some things straight.

As you stepped into the cafe you couldn’t miss him. He was staring at you with a smile beaming on his face.

He’d perched himself in the corner booth that you usually sat at when you come here with your friends. It was always so much easier to talk because it was out of the way of everybody.

You could see the excitement on his face as he waited for you to sit down. You weren’t ready.

Could you bolt?

No, that was far too awkward.

Your first idea was to go to the counter and order yourself a drink. You saw his face slightly drop when you didn’t walk towards him straight away but he was going to have to wait until you managed to compose yourself a little bit. From the corner of your eye you could see that he wasn’t even trying to be discrete about staring at you. You ordered your drink and he didn’t take his eyes off you.

You made sure you were looking forward and away from him, taking deep breaths trying to gain your composure. As the woman behind the counter passed you your drink you knew you couldn’t stall anymore. Not without making a scene or looking very strange anyway.

You walked up to him and just before you sat down you closed your eyes completely, getting yourself comfortable in the booth, sitting so you faced him head on. As you opened your eyes you were greeted with a huge grinning Jeongguk.

He seemed so happy that his entire face had scrunched up, pushing his hands out across the table trying to seek yours with his own.

He didn’t say anything at all, just sat there smiling at you for a few seconds. You didn’t say anything either.

God, this was awkward.

You noticed how he’d changed his hair and was possibly overdressed for this quaint little cafe.

You looked at his hands on the table reaching out for you and you sat on your own, not willing to let any hands wonder. You seemed to have lost all faith in yourself to make rational choices so you were doing everything in your power to make sure you were sensible.

You could see the hurt in his eyes when you didn’t take his hands in yours but you didn’t care at this moment in time. You were too busy concentrating on yourself to even think about him properly.

“I brought you some flowers, I thought you might like them,” he pulled out a huge bunch of flowers that must have been placed next to him out of your line of sight, they were beautiful and as always. Your favourites.

You took them from him and placed them back next to you. You didn’t want to rock the boat and upset him, you needed this to go well.

Shit, yes, that was what you were here for; to ask questions.

You’d nearly forgotten, so busy trying to ignore how awkward this all was.

“Jeongguk, I have so many questions.”

“I’ll answer anything you want. Just ask,” his eyes were wide but soft. Everything about him screamed sweet. It was hard to believe who he really was behind his doe eyes.

You couldn't help the nervous laugh that came out of your mouth. He’d given you permission to ask anything you wanted and you had no idea where to start. It took you a second to think.

“Jeongguk, why have you been following me all these years?” You looked him in the eyes for the first time, his expression was a mix between bewilderment and endearment. As if he couldn’t believe you’d ask him that question but he found it so cute that you did.

You could see that he’d kept his hands within reach of yours in case you changed your mind. But you sat firmly on your hands making sure that, that didn’t happen.

“Because I love you of course, you know that,” he was right, you did know that. He’d told you time and time again that he loved you in letters and text messages.

“But you don't even know me.”

“I do,” his voice had turned timid and sad, “I know you better than anybody.”

How could you argue with him on this?

He did know so much about you, more than you even seemed to know yourself. He always pinpointed small things about your life that you might have said in passing or done without thinking, which you’d forget about months later, but he always managed to remember them.

You didn’t have any close friends, just colleague’s that you’d gotten to know over the years at work and your family chose to not know much about you, scared that it would make you even worse in their eyes.

“But—” you were stammering over your words now, unsure of how to rebuttal his points, “— we’ve never even met, how can you love me without meeting me?”

“I’m so sorry,” the sadness didn’t seem to leave his voice, you tried to stay as natural as possible but how did you do that with him in front of you?

He was nothing but a lovesick puppy and it was all because of you.

“I’m such a coward, I was so scared that I’d never live up to what you needed me to be,”
hearing him say these words was so much different to reading them in a text or a letter.

He always said things like this. Blamed himself for you never being as close to him as he believed you should and you always brushed it off, but him saying it like this seemed so sincere.

“Jeongguk, no. That's not how anything works. If you want to be with somebody you talk to them, you don’t follow them around for years and years scaring them half to death and becoming a stalker.”

You were actually pretty proud of yourself. You should have said things like this to him as soon as you saw him. You should have always been as straightforward as possible.

“I never intended it to last so long, I knew you wanted to be with me but every time I got close I felt like running away and I knew I shouldn’t have done it but it was too much, you were always too much and I— I was never enough for you,”
Jeongguk continued to ramble on about the same things, you tried to interrupt but you couldn’t get a word in edgeways. He was looking down, playing with his hands; too scared to look you in the eyes.

Maybe you could reach out to him, just once. To calm his nerves for a second.

You pull one hand from underneath yourself and soothingly place your hand on top of his, rubbing your thumb back and forth, trying to stop him ranting. This was the first time you’d seen his tattoos up close and not just in a picture, you’d had chances before but you’d never really paid attention.

Across his knuckles he had the date 13 12 2012, you wondered what they represented as you looked around at the other tattoos that littered his skin, a love heart in one corner of his hand and a circle with what looked like an ‘L’ coming out of it just to the left. You’d never seen it before.

The rest of his hand was littered with stars and symbols. It was only when you noticed he had stopped talking that you took your gaze off his hands and looked up.

He was staring at you this time, a soft smile graced his face and you couldn’t help but slightly melt, smiling back at him, but only for a second. Only until your brain clicked back into gear and you snatch your hand back towards yourself as if you’d been burnt.

You could see the offence in Jeongguk’s eyes as his hands moved up, trying to take yours back, he managed to catch them and clutch them tightly, making sure you were unable to retract them again.

You both sat there not saying much, both your hands in the middle of the table as Jeongguk clutched them for dear life.

“But I finally made my move Noona and it was the best thing I ever did,” If it wasn’t for him saying that you’d have completely forgotten where the conversation had gotten up to.

“What happened with you and my sister?” You weren’t sure in what order you should be asking all these questions so if you thought of something, you were just going to ask.

“Nothing, nothing at all. Who told you anything happened?”

You weren’t sure what it was, but something switched in him when you mentioned your sister. It seemed like she was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but if he didn’t do anything, why would he be so worried?

“I don’t care if it did, just please tell me you didn’t hurt her because of me,” that was ultimately your fear, you were never close to your sister but you never wanted her to be hurt because of you and what your mum said about it really got under your skin.

“No, no, when I explained everything to her I had to stop talking to her—” turned out when Jeongguk got nervous he started to ramble. “I know she loved me but I couldn’t, not with us and everything that was going on. I tried so hard not to break her heart but she kept pulling me back, even when she knew we were a thing.”

You were so close to interrupting him when he mentioned telling your sister you were an item, and you really would have if it wasn’t for the rest of his sentence.

“What do you mean when she knew we were a thing?”

This was the second time today his face had sunk and he couldn’t look you in the eyes.

“She tried to have sex with me, I’m so sorry I didn’t want you to find out but I promise. I swear to God, I promise,” he banged his fist gently on the table. He was trying to push down his anger towards your sister, anger that you didn’t know existed up until now. “I didn’t do anything with her, I stopped talking to her all together because of us. I told her that I belonged to you and she got so angry she stopped letting me come round. She did everything she could to stop us being together.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that my sister tried to sleep with you? Even though she thought we were together?” He nodded his head meekly, still not looking you back into your eyes. He looked so ashamed and you weren’t even talking about what he had done anymore.

“She still texts me every now and then, but I promise I ignore her. I tell her that—” as he brought his eyes up slowly he managed to catch yours once again, “—take she will never take me away from you.”

You weren’t really sure what part of the information to delve into first. The fact that your sister was, in fact, a huge crazy bitch or the fact that all this shit has been happening without you even knowing it. In your sister's mind you and Jeongguk were an item, and according to him she had thought that for a long time.

You were starting to wonder if you could trust anybody in your life at the moment.

“Regardless of all that Jeongguk,” you really needed to get back on track, you could deal with your asshole of a sister another day, today was about him and what he’d been doing to you. You rubbed your forehead, feeling slightly exacerbated about everything going on, “we can’t and never will be a thing after everything you’ve done.”

For the first time you saw true and real panic flash in his eyes, it was almost as if he’d witnessed something horrible going on behind you. But he was quick to become loud and argue against you.

“No, no, no, no, no, no—” he started shaking his head as he pulled your hands closer to his chest, standing up to close the distance between you both. “You can’t, you wouldn’t, please, no,” his voice was so loud and everybody was staring.

“Jeongguk stop, not here,” yet again your words were ignored as he walked around the booth, coming next to you and getting on his knees almost as if he was praying to you.

You’d never felt so embarrassed before. He was making such a scene in front of everybody that you couldn’t help but grab his hand and pull him out of the cafe.

You’d forgotten it was raining and walked out to get soaked within a second. As soon as Jeongguk felt your hand in his he stopped his shouting and as soon as you stepped outside, attacked by the rain, he pulled you in close, holding you tightly, not willing to let go.

“Jeongguk, we can’t do this.”

“Please, please come back to mine, so we can talk. We can fix this, like we always do,” you could hear him sniffling in your shoulder and you weren’t sure if he was crying or just cold from the rain that now left the both of you shivering. You couldn’t take this, every plea he let out made you weaker and weaker.

“Okay,” your voice was soft and unsure but in Jeongguk’s mind it was perfect.

“Okay, okay. I-I’ll drive us,” he didn't give you much more chance to think about anything as he pulled you quickly through the rain towards a big black SUV that was parked at the end of the road.

You got in quickly trying to get yourself out of the rain and Jeongguk ran over to the driver seat. As he got in you couldn’t help but admire him. He was such a beautiful man, his hair looked perfect with his undercut, his striped polo neck was sticking to his body tightly and if you were even slightly weaker willed it would have had you drooling. This was a man that was in love with you and would be willing to do everything just for you. You couldn’t seem to make any sense of it at all.

As he turned the engine on he grabbed your hand once again. It's like he was scared you’d leave if he wasn’t holding you back, and he was right. If his hand hadn’t met yours it would have taken you not even a few seconds for clarity to overcome you and you’d have gotten out of the car rain or not. But he did. He grabbed your hand and moved it to the gear stick in the car so that he could keep hold of you even while he was driving.

…

You couldn’t believe this is where he lived, the apartment complex that was no further than a 5 minute walk from your current house. Before you stepped out of the car Jeongguk passed you an umbrella to use on your way to the building. It was a little bit useless now since you were drenched but the soft look in his eyes were to die for and you couldn’t say no to him.

You stepped out and put the umbrella up as you walked behind him and he input the code to let you both in.

You didn’t talk much during the car ride. You really couldn’t think of much to say. You didn’t want to ask anymore questions. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know anymore and the last thing you wanted to do was create small talk. The more you talked to him, the more you got to know him the weaker you felt for him so you tried to avoid it the best you could.

As you walked into the building it felt strange. Kind of like when you got to a new boyfriend's house and you had to get used to the surroundings, but this wasn’t your boyfriend.

This was Jeongguk.

Your curiosity has gotten too far now. At first you came here because you felt bad about what had been going on, but what was keeping you walking was your curiosity about his life.

Who was he really because there was a disconnect in your head with who he was when he was in front of you and who he was in his letters.

So you followed him as he walked into the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor.

He seemed to have gone a little bit shy. Everytime you looked at him he looked away to the floor. You really couldn’t figure him out.
His personalities didn’t seem to match at all, but you guessed it was easy to be whoever you wanted when you were writing on paper.

The elevator stopped at the third floor and you followed him as he walked towards his door. You were about to find out exactly how he lived.

He opened the door and stepped to the side, letting you walk in first.

It was so different to how you thought it would be.
The room was really dark with drawings pinned up on the walls, dark blue sofa in the middle of— wait. The more you looked around the more you realised the layout of his living room was exactly the same as the layout of your own just in different colours.

Your house was mainly a mish-mash of different coloured woods and random old furniture that you couldn’t afford to sell and replace, and all his decor was dark wood, with royal blues on his sofa and chairs. And as you were looking around you could feel him against your neck.

“I wanted you to feel at home when you came here, wanted it to be like it was your home,” the only thing that was different was the sketched drawings that were pinned up. You didn’t have any art decorating your home.

You never found time to find stuff worth putting up. Your house looked more like a generic show house, whereas this one had so much personality.

“Jeongguk, this isn’t my home,” he grabbed your hands, turning you to look into his eyes.

“It could be,” you couldn’t have this conversation, not while he looked the way he did.

“Do you have a towel I could borrow?” That was the best way to change the conversation, besides you really wanted to dry off a little bit.

“I’ll grab you one, do you want me to dry your clothes? I have spares in my bedroom.”

Every ounce of him just wanted to help. To make you comfortable but the idea of taking your clothes off in front of him made you nervous as hell.

“I won't follow you in, you can do what you need to do. You just— I don’t want you to catch a cold,” you nodded your head slowly. He was right, if you stayed in the clothes you were in you’d surely freeze to death.

He walked towards a door that was connected to his living room as you stood there gawking, still shocked that he’d made it feel so similar but so different. As he came back out he was carrying some clothes for himself as he ushered you into where you assume was his bedroom.

“In the wardrobe you’ll find something to wear,” you walked in and he closed the door behind you.

Now this you weren’t expecting. This couldn’t be further away from what your room looked like. His bed was huge in the middle of the wall across from you with silk black sheets neatly tucked in. A huge computer set up on the other side of the bedroom, one desk with a computer and one with nothing but a vast amount of art supplies. They must have been for his drawings that he had pinned up in his living room.

To the side of you just next to the door was his wardrobe. As you opened it to change into anything else you felt slightly uneasy. One side was full of what you could only assume were his clothes and the other was— your clothes.

So much of what was in the wardrobe were clothes that you also had at home, and they were all in your size. You couldn’t believe how much attention he seemed to pay you. You knew it was bad, but you didn’t know it was that bad.

The worst part was it felt— good. It felt so good that somebody in your life had paid this much attention to you. You took your top off and started to dry yourself off but you couldn’t help continue to look around as you did so.

You knew you shouldn’t but you started nosing around all his drawers and cabinets.After looking through most of them you made it to the one beside his bed. What kind of secrets lay there.

You wish you never looked.

“What the fuck!” You know you shouted pretty loud because you could hear Jeongguk knocking on the door.

“Are you okay, baby?”

You ignored him as you pulled everything out of the drawer. Your underwear. At least 5 pairs, and this time it was actually your own. Pairs you thought you’d lost over the last few years. He had your diary that you wrote in when you were about 19. He had so much of your stuff.

“Jeongguk, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

He stopped knocking and barged in the room, when he saw that you’d been through his stuff he felt terrified but slightly relieved, he thought you’d found something else.

“Baby, ___ it's okay I was going to give it all back I just—”

“Jeongguk, this is insane.” You didn’t shout, you just looked him in the eyes and he walked over to you trying to grab you closer towards him.

“I know it is, I just have such a hard time letting go of you I don’t mean it, I never mean it,” as he once again buried his head into your neck you could feel every breath on your skinthanks to your lack of a top and the wet that was still there from the rain. It almost made you shiver.

“You can’t just take my things, my underwear— Jeongguk is wrong.”

“I can’t help it—“ his arms wrapped tighter around you as he started kissing your neck “— it smells like you though, helps me so much when you’re not here. I love them so much,” you shook your head at him but his kisses were undoubtedly turning you on.

“We’re not doing this again, Jeongguk.”

“Is it because I’m bad? Teach me, please teach me, I want to make it so you can never say no,” you pushed him back slightly and stopped him kissing your neck so he was looking at you in the eyes.

“It has nothing to do with that.”

“Is it because of what your sister has been trying to do? I’ll make sure it stops, I’ll text her now,” he pulled out his phone and started texting away.

“No. Jeongguk, it’s—”

“Here look, she will never get in the way of us again.”

You didn’t want to read it but there was something that caught your eye, as he pulled it away you stopped him.

“Jeongguk, show me all the messages you’ve had from my sister.

Without the slightest bit of hesitation he gave you his phone and as you looked up on the screen you noticed your sister’s number wasn’t even saved. It annoyed you to no end the messages you read.

UNKNOWN: Come round and fuck me Jeongguk, she will never know.

You: No.

UNKNOWN: You know I'm better than her.
You’re so fucking sexy, bet she can’t make you cum the way I can.
My pussy is so wet for you Jeongguk.
My husband’s away, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.

You: I don’t want to do anything to you.

UNKNOWN: She’s always wanted what's mine.

You: I’m not yours.

UNKNOWN: Fuck. I wanna feel you cum inside me.

You read the messages and It made your heart sink, you officially hated your sister. These text messages spanned a few months, at least one a month from what you read, and there was the text that Jeongguk had just sent.

You: I want nothing to do with you, I’m in love with your sister and always have been. Stop fucking texting me. I will never, ever, choose you over her.

“She’s such a bitch.” You threw his phone into a corner as you whispered your hate towards her out loud.

“It's okay, baby. Her words mean nothing, they're not true. I’ve never wanted anybody more than I want you,” he held you close again, caressing your cheek as you stood annoyed.

There seemed to be a pattern here. Everytime you were sad and somebody let you down he was there to pick up the pieces. Maybe this was just how it was meant to be.

“Were you really a virgin before me, Koo?”

Koo, you don’t know where that came from but it felt nice. You needed to know he was telling the truth.

He nodded his head eagerly.

“Of course I was, baby. I’d never touch anybody other than you.”

“You saved yourself for me?” He nodded as he moved his forehead against yours.

“I wanted to give you a gift that nobody else could ever have,” he pressed his lips against yours and it was so soft. His hand was still on the side of your cheek as his other gently pulled your body closer to his. “Please don't shout at me again when this is all over.”

He couldn’t express how scared he was as he broke the kiss just for a second. Every time you’d slept with him it ended badly and he couldn’t take it if that happened again.

“I promise. I’m sorry I’ve been so bad to you.”

You were in it now. He deserved this so much. He was always around to pick up your broken pieces that maybe you should return the favour.

“No, you could never be bad. You’re perfect,” as he talked you took the moment to ungracefully shove your tongue into his mouth. You didn’t think you’d ever kissed him like this but he tasted amazing, there was something about feeling his clumsy tongue against yours that sent shivers all the way to your pussy.

You moved your hand to grab his, pulling it all the way up your body and allowing him to feel your hips and tits as you push his hands up into your hair.

“So this is, like, only the third time you’ve had sex right, Koo?”

He was far too lost in the kiss, his hand was tangling up in your hair and as soon as you started talking he made his way straight to your neck; burying himself there and making himself at home. He was so whiny you couldn’t help but bask in the noses he made.

“Calm down Koo, I’m not going anywhere,” his kisses got slightly softer at your demand and you heard him whimper in your neck. “Promise.”

Fuck, he was so cute.

“I promise Koo, I’m sorry I’ve been such a mean Noona,” he couldn’t help but whine at your words even more.

He would never call you mean, ever, but the fact you were promising you wouldn’t leave him made his heart fill. You were his and you were going to stay with him forever.

His hands roamed away from your hair. One felling your back and the other you could tell was placed on your rib cage flat and hesitant.

“You okay, Jeongguk?” You pulled him away from your neck and placed your hand on top of his. “Why are you so nervous? We’ve done this before.”He looked away from you as you spoke to him, you’d never seen him this nervous before.

“This is different—” his voice was soft and slightly cracked “—I wanna make you feel so much pleasure and yet—” he took his time with his words but you allowed him. You wanted to make sure he was comfortable. “—I don’t know how to do it all. I wanna touch you and taste you and make love to you so good, but, what if I'm not good enough again?”

“Sh, sh, sh,” before he dug himself into another hole you pressed your fingertips to his lips, attempting to calm him down. “Koo, we’ve had sex before. You’ve made me cum before—” you pushed him towards his silk sheets and he sat down in front of you, looking up as you stood over him. “Why would you ever think you're not good enough?”

He bit his lip as he answered.

“I cum too fast with you, I don’t know how to finger you or eat your pussy.”

“Baby, baby, shh,” you placed yourself on your knees in front of him. “I clearly haven’t been telling you how much of a good boy you are,” his eyes lit up at the comment. He was so desperate to pull you towards him but he was scared to ruin everything that was happening.

“What do you wanna do Koo? We can do anything you want,” you pushed your hands up his legs, leading up to his crotch and starting to palm him under his jeans.

“You make me feel so dirty Noona, I feel so dirty whenever I think of you, I wanna be so good for you. I wanna make you cum,” you were surprised at how he grabbed your hands off his crotch, pulling you up onto the bed so he was now on top of you and nuzzling into your neck.

“Why do you make me feel so dirty, ___?”

“Because good boys are the dirtiest,Koo.”

He couldn’t help hump into you at your words. He was finally getting all the praise he’d been dreaming of hearing from you. Having you tell him he was allowed to be dirty with you was the icing on the cake, he could finally let loose and stop feeling guilty about his thoughts towards you.

“Can I be dirty for you, Noona? Can I make you cum with my mouth?”

His words shot heat all the way down your body, you were struggling to control yourself. Everything felt warm and his words were electric. His body was heavy and he pinned you down but his whimpers were such a contrast.

“Say it please ____, tell me to be dirty, Noona.”

“Fuck Koo, be dirty for me,” his kisses were no longer gentle, he nibbled ever so slightly down your body rushing towards your core. “Baby, take it slow. I love being touched everywhere.”

Once again you took his hand and guided it up to your breasts, pushing your chest into his hands and letting him grab them. He brought himself back up your body and pulled the cup of your bra down; latching his mouth on your nipple and you couldn’t help but moan out for him.

“Yes Koo, good boy, tease my body,” his eyes rolled to the back of his head at your words. He could cum just from that alone. Your tiits were so soft in his hands and against his tongue, he was in heaven. You moaning below him was all he would need for the rest of his life.

His tongue was all over you. There was something so sexy about how messy he was. He had no control over himself and that just made you wetter and wetter as you heard him slurp around your nipple.

“Fuck koo, eat me out. Please,” he rushed his way back down to your pants, pulling them down along with your underwear. You’re completely bare to him and you’re so happy about it.

“Don’t beg, you never have to beg mez, ___,” as he stared at your naked body you opened up your legs for him, pulling your bra off and making sure he really got to enjoy you.

“What should I do then Koo? What do I have to say for my dirty boy to eat my pussy?” He sucked in a harsh breath at your words. You couldn’t believe how turned on he looked.

“Good boys should know what his Noona wants before she begs,” before you had time to breath he was pushing his face into your pussy.

“Fuck, yes. Good boy, baby. So fucking hungry for Noona’s pussy, aren’t you?” His moan vibrated through your body and you could barely breathe, your hand latched into his new hair cut as your other grabbed at the pillow next to you.
“How’re you so— fuck— so fucking good at this Jeongguk?”

He had zero technique but everything felt so perfect, his mouth was as wet as your pussy and he lapped up everything. His tongue dancing around your clit in uncalculated circles was driving you crazy.

“Just wanna taste all of it. Fuck, I love eating pussy Noona,” you closed your eyes and let yourself get lost in his mouth, your body was starting to shake as your moans got louder and louder.

“You’re a good boy, such a good fucking boy,” as he heard you moaning out he couldn’t help but pull his pants down below his ass and grind himself into the bed.

He felt so good when he pleasured himself using the silk of the bed while you moaned for him.
As your moans got louder his ministrations got more erratic. It felt so good but it wasn’t what you needed.

“Jeongguk, suck my clit. Be dirty boy for me,” he did it as soon as you asked and it took you less than a second to explode in his mouth. “Fuck, yes, yes, yes.”

You couldn’t help but buck into his mouth as your pussy twitched and clenched for him. He kept sucking while your orgasm washed through you.

“Koo, fuck, come here now,” he crawled back up your body and his face was covered in your cum.

He looked so pleased with himself, the smile on his face was of somebody who'd just made somebody cum. It was the face of love.

“Make love to me again, baby. Fuck my cunt so hard I never forget you,” the smile left his face when he just bit his lip instead and rubbed the tip of his cock against your slit; making you shiver just a little at the sensitivity. “Your cocks so fucking hard Koo.”

“It's all you Nonna, I told you, you make me so dirty.”

Hearing him say that with your cum all over his lips was enough for you to be done for. You let out a loud moan as you grabbed him by his ass and pushed his hips into you deep. You lifted your legs slightly, raising them off the bed so that when he pushed inside you your eyes rolled back into your head. He shivered and bucked forward as you pushed him all the way in, then he collapsed on top of you.

“I’m sorry baby, I just needed you so fucking bad. I love the way your filthy cock fucks me,” Jeongguk just started pushing in and out of you quick and hard. He pulled his top up over his head and snaked his hands under your body, pushing your hips up into him so he could be as deep as possible.

“You like me so much, don’t you Noona?” He moved one of his hands and pushed all of your hair away from your face so you were looking deep into his eyes. “I’ve been practising so much for you, I love you so much.”

You didn’t pay much attention to his words, all you could feel was his cock ramming into you and it was distracting. He was so thick and long you could feel him pound into the pit of your stomach.

“Oh— fuck, yes.”

“Tell me you love me, fuck, tell me you love me please. I’ll beg you, please—“ his thrusts became impossibly fast as your orgasm built faster than it ever had before. “I wanna come inside you so much please, tell me.”

His eyes were pleading with yours and he pushed your forehead against his as he continued to fuck you. You only just noticed the tears falling from his eyes while he begged you.
His whines and whimpers were so hot and he was touching you everywhere.

Your orgasm built and built and built and as you looked into his eyes you could bring yourself to deny him.

“I love you Koo,” the croaked above you as his hips came to a stutter and even though he lost rhythm, the loss of control and the feeling of him coming inside you made you come at the same time as him, you even screamed for him. He finished coming while you were still shaking on his cock.

“Yes ___, dirty my cock with you cum, make it yours Noona,” your entire body was shaking, toes curling as you clenched around him. You’d never felt so full as, and wet as, he pulled out of you; holding you impossibly tight.

“Koo, I can’t breathe,” you tried to push him off you but you were so weak you only managed to get him to loosen his grip. His cock was still lodged inside you, nudging your insides softly as he moved around.

“Don't leave, please don’t leave,” you could feel his tears on your shoulder as he sobbed into you.

You moved your hands through his hair and pulled him close to you. His pants were still half way down his legs as he cried into your shoulder while his soft cock was still inside you. Most people would call it pathetic but it made you realise just how soft he was.

“I’m not going anywhere right now Jeongguk.”

Chapter Text

“Leave me the fuck alone, you can’t do that!”

You stirred out of your sleep by the sounds of him shouting in the next room.

“Don’t you fucking dare you bitch, stop doing this to me!”

You sat up on the bed, rubbing your eyes trying to get rid of the sleep that had settled. Your head was still a little bit fuzzy but you could 100 percent tell that he wasn’t happy judging by the booming of his voice next door.

It wasn’t how you expected to wake up. You never expected to wake up in his room in general, so looking at the position you were in you made you feel a little unsure of it all.

You were in his room.

Fuck. What did you do?

You thought back to last night while you continued to listen to his conversation. You’d usually try and block your ears, pretending you couldn’t hear a thing but Jeongguk never understood privacy, so why should you?

Besides, you felt like you had the right to know a little bit more about him than you already did.

You slept with him, again But this time you had no excuse. You weren’t super angry, sure your emotions had been playing up slightly but that still wasn’t really an excuse for what you did.

You asked him to fuck you. You told him. The one person in the world that you shouldn’t be letting get close to you was probably the closest person in your life at the moment. You didn’t know if that said more about you than him though honestly.

Shit.

You told him you loved him. Why did you do that?

Suddenly more and more memories from the night before crept up in your mind. What possibly possessed your body in that moment for you to utter those words to him?

You barely said it to your family let alone a random person you were fucking, then again you had to remind yourself that Jeongguk was anything but a random person, not to mention the lack of trust you had in your family. Maybe telling him you loved him was due to feeling abandoned by your own family. By your sister.

The things she texted Jeongguk were going round and round in your head. Why would she do something like that?

You were never close but you wouldn’t do something like that to somebody you hated, but he always said no to her. He always pushed her away.

It made your heart warm.

“You’re gonna fucking regret this, you’re nothing more than a selfish whore.”

His words snapped you out of your thoughts. You’d never ever heard him talk like that. Who could be he shouting at like that?

You found yourself walking slowly up towards the door, pushing your ear up against it trying to listen in the best you could.

He’d stopped shouting but you could hear a lot of fidgeting. He was clearly pacing up and down the room, picking things up and putting them back down harder than necessary a few seconds later.

“FUCK!”

All you could hear was the launching of something across the room along with his shout. It made you jump away from the door and run back to his bed, trying to find a small safe space underneath his covers.

The last thing you wanted was for him to know you heard anything. You didn’t know how that would end. His screaming and shouting made you realise just how little you knew about him and how absolutely wrong of you it was to be naked in his bed right now.

You heard his footsteps behind the door and you started to panic, looking around for a way out of this situation. So you did what any normal person would do in this situation. You pretended you were still asleep. An old classic that literally never worked.

Lucky for you this time it actually did. He must have been too distracted to notice your eyelids flinching as he walked closer towards you.

You felt him looming above you before he started stroking your hair, pushing it behind your ear.

“Nobodys ever going to take you away from me baby, I won't let it happen.”

You didn’t know if you felt soothed or scared by his words. The calm tone of his voice was a complete contrast of the screams you heard not minutes ago and the soft touch of his hand had you sinking ever so slightly but, if you detached yourself from the feel and the sound.

The actual words he said. That was what scared you. He thought he owned you, thought that because of last night you were going to stay with him forever and be his.

You blamed yourself, letting yourself fall into his arms once more knowing the consequences, but something kept pulling you back to him. Over and over again.

He stayed there, watching you sleep for a few minutes, whispering words of affection and love in your ear. You weren't taking in the words he was saying. More thinking about what you were going to do with the situation you were in.

You weren't going to leave, kick off and shout. You'd decided that straight away. As much as everything Jeongguk had done was wrong. You weren't going to be a user. You weren't going to do that to him. No matter how much he deserved it.

You were going to start fidgeting pretending to wake up when you heard your phone buzz in your jeans pocket that you had thrown on the floor the night before. It wasn’t the buzzing that halted your movements, it was how fast Jeongguk ran over to dig through your pockets to find it.

You didn't see what he did next but you felt him sit on the bed, laying next to you and holding you in his arms.

It threw you completely off guard when he pulled you into his arms and held you against him. He was completely dressed now, while you were still naked with only the covers separating your body from his. He pushed your hair behind your ear and gently whispered in your ear.

“You’re so beautiful.”

You couldn’t help it, you tried to negate the smile that was creeping up on your face but you failed horrendously. Time to pull out your awful acting skills. You started rubbing your eyes and curled yourself up closer to him, slowly acting as if you were waking up and you felt his lips against your forehead.

He wasn’t kissing you, just trying his hardest to get as close to you as possible. You even felt the smile on his lips against your skin as he stroked your sides.

“You’re finally awake,” he must have noticed you stirring and humming in comfort.

You moved your head away from him as you lazily look up towards him. You may have been lying about just waking up but you were still crazy tired. He looked perfect though, it made you feel small with how good he looked and how perfect his hair was even though he was dressed in nothing but grey sweats and a white oversized top. His hair was pulled up into a little ponytail while some of it fell out in front of his face.

How did it do it? How did somebody who looked as good as him obsess over you.

“Have you got work today, honey? Want me to get you some clothes out ready for you?”

He looked over to the wardrobe at the side of the bedroom which had all your clothes he had bought for you. You wouldn’t feel right going out in them, purely due to the situation, even though it would be so easy just to take them. You knew it would make him so happy but no.

You had your own clothes, besides, people you worked with would notice your new clothes a mile away and you really didn’t fancy getting into that conversation.

“I’ll be okay koo but I do have work at 2,” you weren’t sure what time it was but even if it was five to two you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself out of your slumber. You were strangely comfortable in his arms.

“That gives us two hours to be together, noona.”

He moved in to give you a kiss but you moved your face; making him kiss your cheek. You weren’t there yet. Weren’t ready to kiss him romantically. He had a slightly dejected look on his face but he took what he could get.

“You want a shower, baby? Last night was really hot, do you wanna relax and be ready for work?” His face stayed as close to you as possible, he was basically cooing every word he muttered to you.

You did want a shower, you had to admit to yourself. You knew you were sweaty from last night and going to work like this was going to be horrible but you didn’t trust being on your own in his shower. You had to take some time to think about everything that was happening.

You didn’t want to make any more rash decisions about this. You liked sleeping with him. He was sweet and caring. But could you ignore everything that had happened just because he appeared kind? Was there any way of making this work?

You were sure there wasn’t but that waswhy you needed a bit of time. You needed to find out more about him.

You could just ask him but you had a weird feeling he wouldn’t tell you the whole truth. He wasn’t exactly somebody you viewed as trustworthy. No, now you were in his house you needed him to leave so you could look around a bit more without him interrupting. There had to be something here that told you more about him.

As you sat there thinking about it you knew this could be one of the last times you managed to be in his house. You didn’t want to actively seek out a chance to snoop but since you were here you’d be stupid not to take the oppertunity.

“No but maybe you should though, Koo. You put a lot of work in last night, go relax.”

“No, baby, I wouldn’t dream of leaving you in my bed alone.”

You should have known it wouldn’t be quite that easy, maybe it was time to take a leaf out of his book and be a little bit more sneaky with your efforts.

You pushed him over onto his back and straddled his hips. You leaned down whispering his ear in your sexiest voice.

“If you go get clean, baby, I’ll let you fuck me before I go to work. You can do whatever you want to me.” You’d never seen somebody look so torn, you could tell he didn’t want to leave you but this might’ve been your only chance to be alone in his room.

You knew you resorted to dirty tactics but, could anybody blame you?

You thought you deserved a pass for this one.

He looked at your naked body that was on top of him, you felt the sweater paws of his long sleeved white shirt pushing his hands up and down your sides; feeling your body and contemplating his choices. If he needed a slightly bigger push then, that's what you'd do.

“I just wanna scream for you Jeongguk. Want you to claim my pussy like you did last night.” That seemed to push him over the edge and help him make his choice.

“Promise you’ll wait in the bed for me, noona, wait for me to make you feel good.”

You just nodded your head, feeling slightly bad for him. You had no intent on sleeping with him again today so you were already thinking of a lie for when he got back. Most likely that you needed to be at work early and you conveniently forgot.

He kissed your body while flipping you on your back, leaving a trail of wet open mouthed kisses down your naked torso before he got out of the bed; standing up and grabbing a robe that was hooked up on the back of his door. He went from not knowing what he was going to do to moving faster than you’d seen him before. He was so eager it made the guilt swell up in your heart a little bit more.

“Please don’t move, baby, I’ll be so quick just for you.”

And with that he ran out of the room towards his bathroom and you knew you had to act fast. You didn’t bother getting dressed, you just wrapped the cover around your body and started looking around. You managed to look at most things last night but there was one place you wanted to check out.

His wardrobe. There was a door in his room that lead to what you assumed was a walk-in wardrobe and you knew if you were going to hide something it would be there.

You didn't actually notice it at first, it was blended in pretty well with the colour of the walls almost as if it was supposed to be hidden. From what you had seen so far his house was extremely well kept. It also looked expensive. To anybody looking in it seemed normal, just like yours, but there were certain things, like the walk in wardrobe that made you think differently.

The upkeep was perfect and the skirting boards along with curtain poles and furniture were all far beyond your means of what you could afford.

Where did he get all this money from? You needed to search.

You walked over to the wardrobe, pushed it open and noticed how wrong you were. It wasn’t being used as a wardrobe at all. That would explain why his clothes were on the other side of the wardrobe he’d bought for you.

What this was being used as was a small computer room.

You’d struck gold.

Computers were where everybody kept their secrets and you imagined Jeongguk was no different. You walked up to it and sat in the black leather chair adjacent to it.

It all seemed normal. The little room was cosy and warm, a few pictures hung up around it. Just little doodles here and there.

He must have been into art because you saw the same kind of pictures in his living room on the walls. Maybe they were from a favourite artist of his?

You didn’t want to turn the light on as you were trying to be as sneaky as possible, so you weren’t able to get a closer look but you settled with whatever light the computer screen could give you. You were excited to finally find out something about him.

It wasn’t until you switched on his computer and saw his background that your heart dropped into your stomach, the excited feeling quickly dropping into anger.

It was you on top of him, both of you completely naked, animated. You didn’t know how to explain it any better. It was a drawing of both of you having sex. You were expecting to find some weird stuff but you didn’t expect it to be that easy. You didn’t expect it to be that crude. So he was into all kinds of art then.

Your face went completely red as you continued to look at the picture. Unsure if you were more embarrassed or angry. It was so realistic, you felt like you were looking at a black and white picture.

Why would he have that as his background? Then again why would you even question it.

Of course this was something he would have as his background.

As you looked down the side of the screen you could see different apps and browsers.

Chrome, Steam, E-Mail, Photoshop, illustrator and lots of different editing apps that you didn’t recognise at all. If he was going to keep secrets like this from you, then you weren’t going to feel guilty about going in and snooping around his stuff. But when you started, you uncovered things you wished you would never have known.

First was his internet browser, as soon as you opened the main screen there were three tabs that were automatically open, the first one was PornHub, then OnlyFans and then Spotify.

Nothing too unusual, you had to admit he was a boy in his twenties, what else was he going to use a computer for?

This was to be expected from somebody of his age. When you went onto the PornHub tab you found nothing but strange hentai and animated videos that you tried your hardest not to pay too much attention to.

The OnlyFans was just the login screen with his email saved but no password.

But thankfully, Spotify was a bit more telling, when you went into his playlists you found more than you bargained for

. All of them were self made playlists about one subject. You. ‘Date night with ___’ ‘Our first night together, me and ____’ ‘I love you, ___’ ‘Thank you, ___’.

You wished you could be surprised by this but it was pretty tame most things considered. Most of the songs were generic love and romantic genres, nothing you wanted to waste your limited time on searching through.

His Steam account was pretty normal too, just loads of different games that had barely been played. Nothing of too much interest. You did wonder when he found time to play games at all though, to be honest.

Next up was his Photoshop and Illustrator, password protected. Made sense but you weren’t willing to leave it at that. You needed to know more about him and you were going to do whatever it took.

You had your eureka movement. His files. That had to have something that would give you the info you need.

When you opened them up you went straight to his pictures. There were loads of different files under different names but one stood out the most to you. ‘___ animation thumbnails’, of course that was the first thing you clicked on. You didn’t even give it two seconds to wonder what it could mean.

What you saw was nearly horrifying. You hadn’t seen any of the pictures yet but the names of them were enough to give you an idea of what it was. ‘Pussy eating’, ‘Riding’, ‘Cock sucking’, ‘Doggy style’, ‘Teasing’.

There were hundreds of them. When you clicked on them your surprise was heightened once again. Drawings, once again.

This one was a picture of you on top of him laying on the bed, drawn as if the artist was behind your body. Nothing was on show, just the smooth of your back with your hands in your hair while Jeongguk’s eyes were looking at your bare chest. The art style was a lot more animated than the one set as his desktop picture. Was he getting people to draw these pictures for him?

You clicked on more, wanting to see the extent of what he was hiding away from you. There were drawings of him eating you out on the couch, more than one of them were just him with his fingers inside you all in the same animation style as the rest. This was crazy.

Your blood was boiling at this point. You started remembering him for who he truly was. A disgusting perverted stalker.

The next thing you did was go into his videos, they were all labeled and neatly organised, and again, there was one in particular that drew all of your attention.

‘____ animation’. When you went into the folder they were all of the same name as the thumbnails and before you even got the chance to click one of them things started coming together in your head. He'd been making animated videos of the both of you.

What the hell? Why would he do that?

“___, please don’t click on them.”

You turned your head and saw an emotionally distraught Jeongguk standing in the doorway. His head was hung low, hands fiddling with each other and shoulders slumped. His frame was completely submissive. You were still stuck for words; not really knowing what to say to him.

What do you say to somebody in this situation? None of this was okay, it was so wrong and you were so angry but, was this not to be expected? Did you really think he would have normal hobbies after all these years?

“I never meant for you to find out this way ___, I’m sorry.”

His voice was cracked and broken, hair still wet from the shower he had just gotten out of and bathrobe tightly tied together showing off his slim waist, but still what did you say?

The only thing you could think of came flying straight out of your mouth and even though you promised yourself you wouldn’t shout at him you couldn’t stop yourself.

“What the fuck is all this, Jeongguk?”

It was only when he flinched that you realised how loud you shouted at him.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down as much as you could. Your hands were still shaking in anger but you promised yourself you wouldn’t kick off and scream though that was before you knew all of this. He immediately ran towards you to defend himself.

“I’m sorry ___, I’m so sorry. I just needed money, I needed a way to provide and then you became such an inspirational muse to me that I couldn’t— I couldn’t help myself: I couldn’t stop.”

He was on his knees in front of you, looking up at you in the chair while rubbing your legs, his forehead burrowed into your thigh as he pleaded his case. He always looked so timid around you. Always looked one push away from shattering completely, so as you continued to press him your angry, harsh, tone ha: gone and been replaced with a softer one.

“Jeongguk. You know this isn’t okay, right? You know this is so fucking wrong. You made these videos to make money,” you stressed.

“Baby, I’m so sorry but nobody can ever see anything, I try to keep the ones of you and me so tasteful and I never ever let them see any parts of us. I never meant to post them. They were supposed to be for me, until you were truly ready for me but I just wanted—”

He barely breathed through the entire explanation he was giving you, you could feel that his tears had started to fall against the blanket that covered your body. His fists clenched at the fabric and you put your hand on it to stop him pulling it off you completely. He was completely desperate, crying into you.

“The problem isn't you posting them Jeongguk, the problem is the videos. End of, they shouldn’t be a thing, the fact that you make money from them is just—”

You couldn’t finish your sentence. You pushed yourself up onto your feet as well as pushed him off your leg. You were going to start screaming at him again and you just didn’t want to. You were disgusted by all of this but yet that sweet soft voice of his stopped you in your tracks.

“It didn’t start like that I promise, please, don’t leave me again, please.”

How did he always do this to you?

You didn’t want to turn around. You didn’t want to look at his face and yet that was exactly what you did. He was broken on his hands and knees looking towards you. You weren’t sure what it was about him that always made you lose your resolve but right now it was melting into a puddle looking at the pathetic heap on the floor that was Jeongguk.

“Then how did it start?”

You managed to keep your tone blunt; you couldn’t let him know how soft you were for him. The last thing you needed was more reasons for him to think you cared for him.

“I needed money, it wasn't enough to send you letters anymore I needed to show you—” he was sobbing hard; every few words, but you stood your ground and waited for whatever excuse he had “—I needed to show you how much I loved you. I have friends, friends who would pay me to create videos, animations of things like that. It was easy, it didn't take too much time so I could still care for you like I always have.”

You were breathing deeply listening to what he was saying. So this was how he made all the money he had to send you things. You’d never really thought about it before but, of course,he had to have some way of making money for you. The things he bought you, you couldn’t afford yourself and you had a job that you worked forty hours a week for. Of course he had to do something.

“But I got selfish, I started thinking about you every time I made one and you made my work so much better, but I never usually post the ones with us. You were just a muse for me to be better, like you always have been.”

His eyes were burning into yours now, they were shining as the glaze of his tears filled them. He was pitiful and for some reason you felt like giving that pity.

“Post them? You mean you post these online?”

The anger had gone and the sheer fear had set in, Jeongguk could see that and he leaped forwards, pulling you into his arms and holding you close. His body was still wet and the cover against your body was starting to feel damp.

“Nobody knows it's us, baby, I promise—” he started kissing the side of your head as he tried to sooth your fears and, weirdly enough, it was working. All you could feel was his lips and his wet tears against your cheek. “—I make sure our bodies are covered, our eyes are covered. I would never ever let anybody else see us so intimately. My body belongs to you and I’d never want anybody to see yours through my own fault.”

You didn’t care.

You didn’t want to know.

“Show me.”

Wait, what? Why were they the next words that came out of your mouth? Why were you interested in seeing any of it?

For proof. Yeah, that was it, you wanted proof that nobody would be able to see anything. The pictures you looked at were graphic, you could see everything and you could tell exactly who the people in the pictures were.

“Will you prove it to me, Jeongguk?”

He pulled his body away from yours, looking you in the eyes as he nodded his head eagerly. He turned towards the computer, sitting at the chair before he started clicking through and looking at everything you had opened. He quickly managed to close it all down and open up his internet explorer, switching tabs to his OnlyFans page and signing in. So this was how it worked.

“You post them to OnlyFans? That's how you make money?”

“It's so rare I post the ones with you baby, usually it’s short animations that people ask for that take about half an hour to make. It's usually just a roughly drawn woman with—“ he looked back towards you when he realised what he was about to say. For some strange reason he struggled to talk about anything sexual. “—With erm, well… stuff on her face and, you know.”

He looked back towards the computer and started clicking different links, taking him to different places until he landed on a video. To anybody else the people on the screen were just random faces and animations but to you, you could tell exactly who they were based on. You had different coloured eyes and hair but you knew it was you, same for Jeongguk, the face was the same but his hair was blonde and his eyes were green.

He played the video and turned towards you as his gaze returned to the floor.

“This is the one I posted this month. It's only for my highest subscribers to see, nobody else gets to see them. I put so much more effort into these ones than any of the others. They take me weeks.”

As you watched the screen you could see why people would pay for them. The level of detail put into it was incredible. This was the only time sex had ever looked like a true art form to you. You couldn’t believe how talented Jeongguk really was.

Why was he wasting time with you when he could be doing this as a real career?

In the animation he was showing you the characters were sat on a couch kissing and playing with each other. Jeongguk’s character had his fingers pushing in and out of you and you played with him, rubbing his cock slowly up and down. The most noticeable part was that most of it was censored. Your breasts that should be on full show were covered in a plain white tank top and the most intimate parts of both of them weren’t fully drawn in, only showing what each other's hands were doing.

It was hot, you weren’t going to lie. The detail in it all was incredible. The faces both of them were making were incredibly horny and turned on. Each time one of them played with the other a little bit faster the reaction was clear on the others face, the play bar at the bottom of the video was 10 minutes. It was a full video not just some quick fantasy.

“And they’re based on us?”

His head slowly moved up and down, making sure this time to keep his eyes planted on the floor. He was still crying but his sobs had become silent and his tears weren’t falling as fast as before.

“I animate it all properly, with me and you and then when I need to post it I make changes and edit it so that nobody knows. So that nobody can see your body or mine.”

“Show me the original, Jeongguk.”

This time he looked at you. He seemed as surprised as the voice in your head. It was now screaming at you not to ask the very question that you just did but he just turned around and closed the tab, going back to his desktop screen. Before he was able to open it up again you questioned him once more; now reminded of the picture on his desktop.

“Did you draw that, Jeongguk?”

He didn’t look back, he just nodded his head at you as you watched his now dry hair bounce up and down from behind.

You didn’t answer him at all. You just wanted to know, the style was so different to his animation that you were curious.

It took him a second to continue what he was supposed to be doing, he must have been waiting for you to say something but when he realised you weren't going to he continued the task at hand.

He opened a file on his computer called ‘Dreams’ and the video opened on the screen. This time both of the characters were clearly yourself and Jeongguk and anybody looking at it right now would know it without a doubt. Both of you were completely naked other than one addition that Jeongguk had taken out of the last one. He was wearing a collar with your name on it.

Animated Jeongguk’s touch looked as soft as his actual touch was, you couldn’t help but watch for a few seconds; getting lost in the video.

You were reminded of the way he panted in your ear when he touched you. His skin was just as golden in the video as it was in real life and his animation counterpart was looking deep into yours eyes. The collar on his neck and the details of him fingering your pussy were incredible. It was turning you on so much, more than any porn video you’d seen before.

You told him to turn it off before you got to a point you couldn’t come back from. He did it as soon as you asked but didn’t turn back towards you.

“What do you do with those videos?”

He didn’t answer so you walked towards him and turned his chair so that he was facing you. You looked him in the eyes and saw nothing but shame. At first you thought it was because of the video but as you looked down his body you noticed it was something else completely. He was hard. So hard you noticed it through his robe.

“Do you get off to these videos?”

You didnt know why you were asking, it was painfully obvious that he did but your mind was in a completely different place now than it was when you first found them.

The animations he made were so sexy. The attention he paid to your body in order to animate it was incredible besides, the videos themselves were so hot you couldn’t be blamed for being horny and that you ignored the fact that Jeonnguk was right in front of you. Looking as submissive as ever with his cock harder than you’d ever seen before.

He nodded his head as he answered you.

“I used to, now I’ve been with you I don’t need them as much but—“

He stopped talking as he looked up and caught your eyes, suddenly feeling even less confident than he was before. You didn’t exactly look intimidating.

You weren’t wearing any clothes, you had a bed sheet wrapped around your body and your hair and make-up were barely holding it together since you hadn’t even touched them when you woke up. To him though you must have looked scary. You were looming over his frame as he sat there in all his shame.

“But what?”

“But there are somethings we-”

“Look at me when you’re talking to me, Kook.”

His head kept dipping down as he was talking to you and you weren’t going to have it. You wanted to see him struggle.

If he was doing things like this he could at least start talking to you about sex like a grown up. That was the least he was going to have to give you. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you also adored it when he squirmed for you.

You felt all the power that he took away from you most of your life and it was exhilarating.

Here he was sitting down, looking up at you with gentle tears in his eyes and cock hard as ever; staring into your soul through your eyes.

“—Somethings we haven’t done yet. It helps me imagine it better.”

You really shouldn’t sit here and toy with him. It would be awful of you to do.

“And was that something you want to do with me?”

It didn’t mean you wouldn’t though, but he was right. The both of you had, had sex before but you’d never been truly intimate about it,. You weren’t sure you ever wanted it to be. You’d never truly had the desire to kiss him before even though you'd lusted over him. Being intimate was a completely different thing altogether though

Every time you’d had sex it was because of circumstanse. The biggest one being that you were completely unable to control yourself.

“It really is.”

This time you were going to control yourself but not before you were going to have some fun.

“Tell me Jeongguk, describe that situation to me while I go get dressed ready for work and you wind yourself up even more.”

His eyes widened as you walked off, slowly dropping the covers off of you completely, exposing your naked body to him before you walked out of the room and into his bedroom.

He chased after you, falling to his knees when he saw you standing in the middle of his bedroom waiting for him. He pushed his robe off his body, leaving him completely naked as he grasped his cock.

“Jeongguk, what do you think you’re doing?”

You tried to seem stern but you couldn’t help the surprised smile that passed your lips as you watched the show unfolding in front of you. This was the first time you’d really looked at his naked body. Without a completely clouded judgement.

His skin was honey colour and glistening, his abs tight as he pumped his cock in his fist. His cock was so long and thick, you already knew that but you didn’t think you’d ever taken the time to look and appreciate it the way you were now.

“I can’t help it, please don’t make me stop.”

He had one hand tightly fisted into his own hair. His grasp so tight you were worried he was going to pull it out. His face looked pained while he looked at your body, playing with himself and pumping his cock so fast you were shocked, but it was so God damn sexy. You were already so wet from watching the videos, this was just extra that gave you the familiar feeling of desire in your stomach.

“I’m sure I asked you to do something Koo, if you don’t do it I will make you stop.”

“I wanna touch you so bad, please.”

You shook your head as you walked towards him. You wanted him to touch you too, his fingers would slide inside you so easily, the insides of your thighs must be glistening with how he had gotten you.

“You don’t get to touch today, Koo,” you leaned into his body and whispered into his ear as you reached past him. You really were going to make him pay for the videos.

“That's your punishment for what I just found. You’ll have to touch me in your little videos and play with yourself.”

You continued to reach behind him, grabbing your underwear that was thrown on the floor from the previous night. You stood up tall in front of him for just a second as he looked up towards you. You decided that this was how you adored him.

Underneath you looking a mess, a pathetic baby who couldn’t stay away from his queen. He made you feel perfect. You looked into his eyes as he admired your slick covered thighs. His eyes still glazed over but this time the tears weren’t because he was sad, they were because he was pathetic and desperate.

So desperate that before you knew what was happening he had planted both hands on your ass, grabbing them as hard as he could and using your cheeks to push your pussy into his face.

“Fuck, Koo.”

Your eyes quickly rolled to the back of your head before you could take a second to realise what he was doing. He was whimpering and moaning so hard, sucking on your pussy in the messiest way possible. His mouth and tongue were everywhere as he kept you close to him. He started pushing his tongue insides you and you enjoyed the feeling of it you for a second before you looked down at him.

His eyes were closed and he was up on his knees, making sure he could reach the deepest parts of you with his tongue alone. He felt so fucking good, there was nothing sexier than his need for you.

You needed to be careful or you’d take him there and then. You pushed him away, making him fall back onto his calves as he re-grabbed his cock; pumping it even harder than before. You quickly pulled your panties on your body, protecting yourself from him before he was able to touch you once again.

“What the fuck did I say?”

You were in bliss about all of this. You wanted to sound strong and it took everything in you not to just let him touch you but you’d laid your rules out and you were going to stand by them.

“I can’t help it I’m sorry, noona. You taste so good and you were so close. I just wanna keep you on my mouth all day. You can sit on my face all day noona, please.”

He was crying out at this point, fisting his cock so hard. You knelt down in front of him and stroked his face as he looked at you. You were a stark contrast of him. You were managing to come across clear headed and calm while he was a filthy mess moaning out for you.

“You want to play with my pussy while I pump your cock?”

He nodded his head, you could tell he wanted to reach out to your now covered core when he looked down at it but you quickly pulled his face back up to look at you.

“I do, I really do. I want that so bad,” he begged.

“Slow down baby, don’t cum just yet.”

He whined out in protest as your hand came to his wrist, stopping him from continuing his current pace. You would have told him off again but at this point you were lucky that he could even hear you.

“Want to wear a choker with my name on it! I noticed that you know.”

“Please, please, please.”

His moans and begs were in quick succession, he was so turned on his body collapsed against yours. His face now buried in your neck as he continued to pump his own cock.

“Want your name all over me ____, want to be yours and only yours.” His voice was coming out in sobs and if you didn’t do something quickly you knew you'd cave to him and his pleads.

You moved your body away and he fell forward, using one hand to catch himself. His forehead now against the ground and his ass in the air as he cried and screamed about the loss of your body.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t getting off on this. You loved the powerful feeling it gave you. It was incredible. You basked in it as you collected the rest of your clothes, pulling your jeans up over your body and leaving your bottom half dressed while your top half was completely bare still. You picked up a pillow and walked back over towards him.

“I'm sure I asked you to describe the situation to me, didn’t I?”

“I can’t, fuck, I can’t I’m so close. I can only think of fucking you, baby.”

You laughed at him slightlyx even though your pussy was clenching at his words. You laid the pillow out in front of you.

“Come mount the pillow baby, you wanna fuck me? You’ll have to take the pillow instead. Fuck it like you’d fuck me.”

It didn’t take him two seconds to shuffle towards the pillow and start humping it fast. You couldn’t believe how eager he was and how well he listened to directions.

He was quickly pulling your body towards his own again this time attaching his lips to your nipples as he continued to hump the pillow. You had lost all resolve this time. You didn’t have the heart to push him away from your body and you really didn’t want to. You’d already denied yourself his tongue once; you couldn’t do it again.

As he fucked his hips against the pillow his tongue lapped back and forth at your nipple and you couldn’t help but moan. You were nearly as loud as him. Your body was so pent up from everything that had happened you could help yourself.

“You’re so soft noona, wanna touch you all over, wish I was fucking your pretty little cunt right now.”

His voice was just as pained as it was before but this time his words were muffled as he tried to talk whilst he continued lapping around your tits. Each lick sent a spark through your body and you couldn’t believe you were managing to keep your resolve up.

“I wanna do so much more with you, noona. Don’t wanna have to make stupid fucking videos anymore. I want you to quiver underneath me, cunt around my cock creaming for me while I pump you full of my cum.”

“Fuck Jeongguk, so fucking naughty, baby boy.”

You were on your back before you even knew it. He was laying on top of you, pushing his bare cock against your covered core, dry humping you as he attached hip lips to your own.

Everything about him was erratic now. His thrusts against you were pushing deep into your clit and even with jeans on you could feel how hard he was.

“Say my name, please don’t stop saying my name until I cum. Makes me cum so fucking hard.”

That was all he told you before he sucked harshly on your nipple once more, pushing your tits together as much as he could and playing with them both in his hands while he humped you like his life depends on it. You could feel it so hard against you.

It made you feel like a teenager but it felt so fucking good letting him rut against you like this. He was giving you some much needed friction and the more you felt the louder you got.

You did exactly what he asked you to do. You moaned his name over and over again as he continued to play with you.

It wasn’t long before he was shouting out your name and cumming all over your stomach. There was so much you couldn’t believe it. He had covered your stomach and tits and he fell forward onto your body making the both of you sticky with cum. It was disgusting but for some reason it felt intimate and sweet.

It took you a second to come back down to earth and there was one thing you could think.

“Shit. What time is it?”

You rolled his body off of yours and now you did feel disgusting. You went over to his bathrobe and rubbed as much of his cum off your body as you possibly could before looking around, finding the rest of your clothes and getting dressed as you checked the time on your phone. Half one.

Shit, you were going to be late.

Jeongguk had only just sat up looking at you and all you could see was his hands out trying to grab you.

“Jeongguk I can’t, I need to get to work.I’m sorry.”

“Come back after work?”

He looked at you with hope in his eyes and you didn’t reply. You just grabbed all your things and ran off. You didn’t know what you would do after work or how you would feel.

You were incredibly horny and to make a choice like this would be unfair. You knew you’d probably want to go home and do what you said you’d do all this time. Think. You were going to go home and think about all of this.

The entire way to work your head was fuzzy with added information. Your body was sticky and you were super uncomfortable. You just wanted to do nothing and go home. Just before you started your shift you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

It was a text from Jeongguk.

JK: Thank you, baby.
Thank you so much for not getting mad at how bad I’ve been. I was sure you’d leave me forever when you realised what I’d been doing but it just goes to show how much you love me that you were able to forgive me.
I wanna be able to act out all the videos I’ve made of you. I think you’d like that too, wouldn’t you?
The video made you so horny just like it did me, you were so hot when you took control of me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You to control my body just like you do my heart.
I have a little secret that I want to show you.
— JK

You stopped reading the text and went straight to the picture that he had sent while you were reading. It was a collar. It was baby blue and your name was written in a diamond like material. It's the same as the collar that he was wearing in his animation. You went straight back and finished the text.

JK: I thought you’d find it so weird but now I know you like it too. I can finally show you it. I got it two years ago hoping that it would come in handy and wouldn’t just be there for me to wear when I touch myself.
Maybe you can take it and only let me wear it when I’ve been a good boy for you. Make it my prize. I’d work so hard just to wear it round my neck while we're together.
You’ve made your claim on my body, it only makes sense that I wear you round my neck.
I love you so fucking much, I miss you so fucking much.
I’ll be thinking about you for the rest of the day. As always.
— Jk