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´Remember me
Though I have to say goodbye
Remember me don´t let it make you cry´
Dick Grayson hadn´t wanted to be an older brother. He had been just fine being an only child, it did not bother him one bit. In fact, it was great. When he went out as Robin, he could fly again. He could feel the wind in his hair, doing flips and spins that he had done back in the circus. He was a flying Grayson, but he was also a Wayne.
Then Jason Todd came along, and to say Dick was not pleased would be an understatement. The child was scruffy but rather small. He had black hair that was always in a mess and these big green eyes that made a part of Dick melt, but then his stubborn side would take over and that would wash away. Falling away from him like the petals of a wilting flower, carried away by the wind.
Dick didn´t want to be an older brother, especially to the kid who took Robin from him. But that all changed when he found Jason one night.
It was late in the manor, and Dick couldn´t sleep despite the crickets chirping outside that he had usually used to fall asleep. While others used box fans to sleep, he used crickets. It was what he had done at the circus as well, though a lullaby his mother had sung was also another thing that had helped. Sometimes, when he truly could not sleep, Dick would hum the song to himself. He tried that, but it didn´t work.
The young man let out a sigh, rolling out of bed and stepping into the hall. He navigated through the dark halls easily, having gotten to know them from his years of living there. When he got near the kitchen, he realized a light was on and frowned, preparing himself for a fight.
He walked into the kitchen silently, stopping and dropping his defensive pose when he realized it was just Jason. He opened his mouth to ask him what the hell he was doing, but when he noticed the tear tracks on the kid's face, he stopped. Jason jumped when he saw Dick standing there, trying to wipe his face with the sleeve of his pajama shirt.
¨Jason?¨ The elder of the two asked, stepping closer, ¨Are you okay?¨
¨I´m fine.¨ Jason sniffed, ¨What are you doing here?¨
¨can't sleep.¨ Dick shrugged, ¨How about you?¨
Judging by the other boy's silence, Dick suspected that he could not either. Based on the tears and his red, puffy eyes he could guess Jason had a nightmare.
¨Ah, a nightmare.¨ He pretended to not notice Jason freeze up, ¨It´s okay, Jay. I have nightmares sometimes too. My mother used to help me with them.¨ He paused for a moment, ¨She used to sing me a lullaby. I could do the same for you if you´d like.¨
Jason paused but seemed to be contemplating it, and then he nodded. Dick grinned, taking the younger boy´s hand and leading him upstairs and into Dick´s room. There he laid down in the bed with Jason, nestling the confused boy under the covers with him and into his arms. He gently ran a hand through the other's hair, singing the song as he did. ¨Know that I am with you the only way that I can be. Until you´re in my arms again. Remember me.¨
Jason fell asleep quickly, Dick looking down at his relaxed face and realizing just how young he was. He felt stupid for being so angry about a simple costume. Dick relaxed, still holding onto Jason, and fell asleep with the promise that he would be better.
´For even if I´m far away
I´ll hold you in my heart
I sing a secret song to you
Each night we are apart´
Tim was the next little brother. He came from a rather abusive family, and the young child was smart as hell. But Dick couldn´t help but be a little bit upset, Jason had just died, and then Bruce takes in another kid and gives him Robin. Like it didn´t even matter. Robin was Jason´s. Not Tims.
But then Dick remembered his little brother, how he had treated him badly at first and had hurt him. He still regretted that every single day, and could never tell Jason that he loved him. Damnit, he wasn´t even on earth to help find him. Maybe if he were there to help, Jason would be alive.
His anger slowly melted away, leaving him with a hollow feeling. He promised himself that he would be better after he found Jason that night, so he would be better. Because he promised Jason, and Dick Grayson kept his promises.
For a few months, Dick stayed at the manor to get to know the bright, blue-eyed boy a little better. He learned how devoted Tim was, how intelligent and sweet the kid was. How he had been dealt a bad hand by the world and believed he was unworthy of love.
Dick crushed that belief under his foot, stomped it into the dirt until it was nothing but dust. And he looked Tim in the eyes and told him you are loved. You deserve to be here.
He didn´t expect such a reaction from Tim, but as he said this the child´s blue eyes filled with tears and the dam broke, quiet whimpers turned into sobs. He surprised Dick even more by barreling into his chest, little arms wrapping around his waist. Dick paused for a moment, frozen in shock before he snapped out of it and crouched down. He took the child in his arms, into his lap, and just held him.
He ran his fingers through Tim´s hair, just holding him and softly whispering his mother's song in his ear. The sobs turned into quiet whimpers, then silence as Tim fell asleep.
Dick just continued to sit there, holding his baby brother, not even moving when Alfred found them.
´Remember me
Though I have to travel far
Remember Me
Each time You hear a sad guitar´
The littlest brother had been Damian, the kid was rude and snappy, rough edges, and very stabby. Many others didn´t like him. Tim sure as hell didn´t and at the time Damian arrived, Jason was still presumed dead.
Bruce didn´t pay the kid much mind, and when he disappeared Dick had to step up. At first, he had been unsure. Damian was a very murderous baby assassin who usually stabs first and asks questions later, but looking at how incredibly tiny Damian was, with big green eyes and tan skin and a head full of curls, Dick realized he was just a child. A child bred and trained for war, used as a weapon, an object. The kid had never been shown love, he only knew fighting, blood, and death.
It broke Dick´s heart. He had already messed up with two little brothers, and he swore he would do better so he would do better. It didn´t matter how much Dami hissed and spat, or how he yelled and insulted and threatened. Dick kept trying.
It was worth it, seeing the child´s wonder, shock, and excitement as Dick named Damian his Robin. At first, the child didn´t understand why Dick would make him Robin.. It was obvious the child thought of himself as a bad person because he killed so many people.
So Dick thought about what he was to say, then grinned and said ¨Because Dami, you´re good. I choose you to be my Robin.¨
The child didn´t hug Dick as Tim had done, but that was okay. The small smile Dick received told him that they had progressed, and that was what mattered.
Damian was his Robin for a few months when Bruce finally returned. Dick couldn´t help but be disappointed. He was going to adopt Damian, thinking of the young kid as his own son. But Bruce was back, so Damian didn´t need him anymore.
So one night, he decided to leave. Give Damian and Bruce space and time to get a good relationship, because Damian deserved his father. Dick was not his father, no matter how much that hurt to admit. But Damian caught him, standing behind Dick in old pajamas that had been Dick´s when he was small, the young man freeing at the sound of his little voice asking ¨Grayson? Where are you going?¨
Dick swallowed, turning around and giving him a sad smile. ¨Hey Dami, I´m sorry bud I didn´t want to wake you. I have to go now. So you and Bruce can get to know each other.¨
Damian frowned, ¨But we can still do that with you here. What about us? We were the best.¨ He sounded so young, so much like the child he truly was. He looked it too, what with the baggy pajamas that were still too big for him.
¨I know baby. But I have to go back to Bludhaven.¨
Damian looked sad, and Dick´s heart clenched. The kid opened his mouth, and Dick expected him to yell- but he surprised him instead by running forward and jumping at Dick, wrapping his little arms around him. Dick dropped his bags to catch the kid, holding onto him. ¨I´m gonna miss you.¨ He heard Damian mumble, a little sleepily.
Dick sighed, deciding that he could stay just a bit longer. So he walked over to the couch, sitting down and adjusting his grip on Damian. ¨I know, baby. I´ll miss you too.¨
At Damian´s adorable little yawn, he chuckled. Holding Dami just like he did Tim all those years ago, he sang the lullaby yet again. It didn´t take long for Damian´s breathing to even out. He stood up, walking to Damian´s room and setting the kid down in his bed, covering him up. Walking to the door, Dick took one last look at Dami before leaving and closing it behind him.
´Know that I am with you
The only way that I can be
Until you´re in my arms again´
Laying on the hard concrete of the city, Dick stared up at the sky. The stars were covered by the thick fog that was created by the busy city. He coughed, attention being taken from the sky to the wound at his side, gushing blood that had long since soaked his Nightwing suit.
Dick could barely hear the footsteps and the shouts from somewhere nearby, not until three familiar faces appeared above him, hovering worriedly. Dick frowned, as he realized something was wrong. Jason was shaking, eyes were blown wide in something that Dick could not quite comprehend. Tim looked like he was about to cry, as was Damian though he was trying so hard to fight the tears.
Dick opened his mouth, blood trickling on the sides which Dick thought was rather odd. But ignored it. ¨Are you guys hurt?¨
Jason laughed bitterly, ¨Even when dying he still worries about us like a mom.¨ His voice didn´t hold its usual cockiness or venom, instead now sounding like a broken record.
Damian rounded on him, ¨He´s not dying! We can help him!¨ Then he turned back to Dick, crouching down and trying to pick him up but failing miserably. ¨Help me! Don´t just stand there! Help me!¨
He sounded so desperate, so sad. So unlike the usual brave, cocky voice, he sported. It made Dick´s heart hurt, more than the wound that he was becoming even less aware of.
Damian let him go, collapsing onto his knees with a broken-sounding wail. Tim swallowed, choking back his own wail. ¨Dami, he got hit in a vital place. There´s nothing we can do.¨ He plopped down right by Damian, on Dick´s other side, and Jason took his head, gently setting it in his lap.
Dick looked over at Damian, his baby, and smiled weakly. ¨It´s okay, Dami. It doesn´t hurt.¨
Tim flinched at that, ¨That´s not a good thing.¨
¨I know.¨
Jason let out a huff, ¨Just Shutup, Dickhead. You need to keep up your energy.¨
Dick ignored that, ¨I´ll be fine. You three will be too, you´re all so brave. and I´m proud of you. Jason, I´m sorry I wasn´t better to you.¨
Jason let out a watery laugh, ¨Yeah well I never made it easy. Besides, you were good. Like a mom.¨
Dick chuckled, though it sounded more like a wheeze, ¨Mama Grayson. I like the sound of that.¨
Dick suddenly remembered something that he never had gotten to say, and it took all of his remaining strength to say it. ¨I love you guys.¨
A chorus of ´I love you too's was the last thing Dick heard before he let go.
´Remember me´