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Killer

Summary:

You’re Moiraine’s apprentice and it’s your first kill. But you’re on a mission so no time to mourn.

Chapter Text

You had been pulling it together, making the water circle, before Lan had cut the bridge. You’d been prepared to burn the rope regardless and your mentor seemed to have had the same thought. 

But she froze at watching you bring the water into a whirl. You hadn’t even thought. She knew that wonderful instinct was inside you somewhere. As the Ferryman dove into the water, she saw your pinch face in a frown. She knew the weight on your heart as you let the man be swallowed by your natural disaster, and quickly pulled the group away. The children stared after the two of you, no doubt judging, but distance was the priority. They could manage the damage on the month-long trek back to the White Tower. 

They rode till the sun was high before Lan approached and reported their freedom. The injured mentor led the way to one of many forts left in the woods for passing travelers. The children set up a camp while you were healing the horses. 

Moiraine healed her own, the spell taking its time as her injury weakened her further. Lan prompted her to leave silently before grabbing your shoulder. 

You followed after her. “Moiraine Sedai!” you called sharply. 

She turned to face you, prepared for the encounter. 

You looked down, not daring more, and called. “I- I may not be the most proficient healer, but Trolloc healing was day-one stuff.” 

The older woman smirked at your reverence for her in these moments. “Final exam, then,” she quipped, stepping back up to you. 

You hesitantly met her half way, unwilling to make her trek any farther up than she would have to. 

Your breaths mingled as you stood close. Any outside observer would be forced to look away at the implication of intimacy between the two of you. 

You moved her shirt to the side slightly, freeing the visage of her wound. You grimaced before your fingers twitched instinctively, the skin stitching itself back together as the One Power took the poison easily. You were breathing considerably harder after the fact and hands took up post on your hips. “I’m sorry. I don’t-” 

“You need-” Moiraine started. 

You bore into her with you e/c gaze. “We both need,” you demanded sharply. 

She smiled indulgently. “Come, then. Lan would only have fetched the two of us if our tent were pitched." 

The two of you walked to your shared tent, each of you clinging with equal ferocity. You sat in the enclosed room. Laying down, the two of you were quite closely entwined. 

Moiraine reached up to tuck some of your hair back. “How are you feeling?” 

You shrugged. “Not the worst wound I’ve healed.” 

The corners of her eyes crinkled with genuine amusement. “Not what I meant.” 

You hummed. “I know…” You took a deep breath, your eyes settling behind her. “I’m not sure I can complete my training.” 

Moiraine flinched. She called your name in half scolding, half pleading. Help her understand this horrible decision you’re prepared to make. 

“I have just killed a man.” 

Moiraine sighed. She should’ve expected this, she supposed. She shuffled even closer - oh, look it was possible - and held you tightly around the middle. “You did not kill the ferryman. He wasted his life in a foolish pursuit.” 

“One I should have anticipated, especially if I’m to be a Blue Ajah.” 

She held your face tenderly. “There was nothing you could’ve done.” 

You shook your head, eyes shifting behind her again. 

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered hoarsely as she moved to kneel. She pressed a quick kiss to your forehead before retreating from the tent. 

You entered something similar to a dreaming state for a time and was rudely brought back into waking with a gentle touch on your face. Your e/c eyes fluttered open, pupils fixed on the deep blue before her. 

“Sorry to wake you,” she whispered, pulling more of your hair back. She wanted something. 

“You want something,” you grumbled. 

A smirk played down at you and the woman boasted, “We may make a Blue Ajah out of you yet.” You smiled against your will and she brushed her thumb across your cheek again to keep you awake. “I need to test my suspicions.” 

You frowned. “You need sleep.” Regardless of any intentions, she couldn’t do a spell of that caliber, draw the One Power out of someone for the first time on so little sleep. She didn’t have the strength after needing to be healed so soon- Oh, you got it now. You grimaced. “No!” you whined. If you gave her your strength, you’d be useless tomorrow. 

“Just enough for one spell,” she persuaded. 

You groaned, pushing your head into your jacket-rolled pillow. 

She pulled your into your arms. “Come on, love,” she nearly sang. 

You shook your head. “Get some sleep tonight. Try tomorrow.” 

Her hand trailed down your hair again. It tried to lull you off to sleep, but she tipped sideways, bringing you forward. Her hand moved, leaving burning paths down your arm, across your back, then exploded when she took yours. She pulled the palm to her face. “Just enough for one spell,” she whispered. Her arm around your waist, keeping you against her, pulled you tighter and closer into her. She pressed her lips to your and the daze of the kiss lit up your magic. She held your wrist more tightly and you surrendered, pouring your strength into her. She took only as much as she needed, severing the connection when it became clear you couldn’t. She laid your drifting form back onto the blanket. 

Later that night, the regretful Sedai slipped in behind her protege, holding you close. Despite her regret at manipulating you into giving her enough power to test Egwene, she was over the moon at the results shown. A bit more time with the newest channeled around and she could be extremely powerful. She felt very deeply connected to the Wheel and the more connected someone was, the more powerful they were. 

Another reason you were her protege. Deeply important to the wheel, powerful channeller, right age. She almost felt bad for not telling you how you were connected to the children outside. But as you nuzzled her in your sleep, she knew by her was everywhere you ever needed to be.