Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

So. Back here again huh?

Newly awake, the young man dusts himself off, spikes of blonde hair shaking in the wind in this World of Respite. At least, Cloud thinks it's the World of Respite. He's been dumped somewhere that looks like that place with Midgar still shiny and alive in the distance. He stands exactly where Zack ended and he began. With hands on his waist and a deep breath in his lungs, he can almost taste the small distortions that make this world not his. He can't remember what old Midgar looks like anymore but this version seems brighter, friendlier and less scum infested than he was used to. Maybe it's based on someone else's memory? He'll have to ride over and investigate.

I don't have my bike.

His mood drops faster than his shoulders. So much for respite, it's gonna be a long trek. He turns absently to find a route down when he hears a shuffling. There’s a boy in SOLDIER uniform. Second Class. Head of black hair like a porcupine.

“Zack?” The head turns around. He looks young. So young. 

“Cloud! Buddy, am I so glad to see you!” Zack’s grin is bright, infectious. He can’t help but smile back. “Whoah, did you get taller? What are you wearing?”

It’s his Strife Delivery Service not-quite-uniform but young impressionable Zack doesn’t need to know that.

“You don’t have your scar.”

“Oh, don’t I?” He absently runs a gloved hand where the scar should be.

Well at least you have your memories.

“Where are we anyway?”

“Do you- What’s the last thing you remember?”

Zack looks almost stunned for a moment until his eyes soften like a kindly older brother.

“I remember the day I died, Cloudy.” His smile is reminiscent and a tad guilty. “I’m guessing you do too? That’s probably why we’re here, in this spot right? You brought me back?”

“Not exactly. I’m actually on my way over there to-”

“Is that Midgar?” Zack steps around him to peer at the city they both know by heart. “It’s shinier than I remember.”

The journey seems shorter with Zack by his side. Or maybe it’s just this world giving them what they want; mainly a quicker way to get out of the sun and under the shade of Midgar’s towering metal. Somehow, they blink and make it inside the Shinra Building. The place is devoid of people, no workers, no soldiers, no scientists and still peace eludes this place. Something about illegal experiments, assassinations and other shady business just makes it feel like ghosts still haunt this place.

Zack doesn’t feel quite right here but he smiles brightly. “I wonder if they still have my quarters. Hey, if Kunsel is around, he’d already have information on what’s been happening, yeah?”

“You mean gossip?” Banter with Zack, here of all places, almost feels like home.

A glimmer of silver catches Cloud’s eye and his timid grin falls. Of course. He’s here too. 

“Hey what’s with the face?” Zack turns around to where Cloud is glaring. “Is that-”

“Zack wait-”

“Seph! Sephiroth!”

The silver haired being turned around at the sound of his name, confusion writ on his small rounded face. A face framed by silver strands, hair barely brushing against his shoulders. Zack reaches him first.

“Holy smokes, how small are you?”

The boy only looks more confused. “Do I know you?”

Sephiroth studies the glow of Mako in their eyes. SOLDIERs then. First and Second Class, judging by their uniforms. He stands at attention.

“Sir!”

“Oh my goddess he called me sir!” Zack practically melts. “You even sound so young. Well soldier, I’m a soldier too. Everybody knows your name when you're a SOLDIER.”

“I’m still only a trainee, sir. I-I’m not supposed to be deployed for another six months,” he stammers, unsure how to proceed. “Professor Hojo was adamant, he was mad sir.”

“Hojo can be as mad as he wants to be. How old are you, kid?”

Sephiroth frowns. “I’m not a kid. I’m thirteen.”

“Cloudy, he’s thirteen years old. Look at him, he’s a baby. Look how cute he is!”

The child squirms in Zacks grip. “I don’t know you.” The defiance in his eyes is so different to the cocksure nature his older less sane self exudes.  Like he has a will to deny things against his own morality. So different to the aloof indifference he wore when they were still friends. They were friends, weren’t they?

“You can’t tell me you still want to fight him?”

“Fight me?”

Oblivious to the boy’s stricken face, Zack looks around at their overly white surroundings. “So this is your Midgar huh? Is Midgar this shiny in your time?”

“It is in the pictures.” 

“Pictures?”

“I’ve never been outside the Shinra Building, sir. As you know, I am SOLDIER trainee, Sephiroth, transferred recently from the Shinra Science division. I have been allowed more freedoms as a trainee than as a lab-” he blinks, almost slipping in his speech, “assistant and have been able to wander as far as the reception desk on the ground floor.” He pauses again. “Sir.”

Zack turns his face so the child wouldn’t see his faltering watery smile. “The way he talks is so cute but this is heartbreaking.” He turns a cheery grin towards Sephiroth. “At ease, soldier.”

The youngest of them sighs but relaxes from his stance. “I still need proper introductions, sir.” The ‘I don’t know why I’m even answering your questions’ grumbled under his breath is not missed by the two with enhanced hearing.

“Well, I’m SOLDER Second, Zack Fair and this here is my buddy Cloud! Say hi Cloud.”

He looks at Cloud, confused. Clearly to his thirteen year old eyes, Cloud is the superior officer. What with his non-Shinra relegated clothing and giant sword. “Why is a lesser officer giving you orders?”

Cloud couldn’t stop the amused smile from blooming on his face. He could have fun with this. “I don’t know, kid. Second Class Soldier, Zack Fair, do you know?”

Zack strains to keep the smile on his face. He clicks his tongue. “No sir. I do not.”

“Well soldiers, no point standing around. We may as well carry on and look for more people. Your captain commands it.”

“Yes sir!”

Cloud won’t deny the little feeling of endearment at the boy’s earnest behaviour. But he doesn’t have to admit it either.

Chapter Text

“So, you mean you probably won’t know anyone that might get summoned here?”

They make it outside of the weird shinier Midgar, on their way to find companions from their own world. Zack and Cloud know who they want to see, but Sephiroth, not so much.

“No one at my current age, sir. I haven't been given permission to mingle with persons other than lab technicians."

“Angeal, Genesis?” Zack tries anyway.

“May I enquire as to who that is?”

“That’s a ‘no’ then.”

“I have met President Shinra."

“Please no.”

“I suppose he is not a fighter in any case. His progeny, Rufus. Surely he grows up to be a fighter?"

Kid you have no idea.

"Dark Nation? It is still a pup but no doubt will become a fine hunting companion.” They couldn’t miss the way the boy’s eyes light up at the mention of Shira Jr’s favourite pet.

“You like dogs huh?” 

It’s easy to see the way his face flushes red under thin skin though he succeeds at keeping his face and voice neutral. “Yes sir. I met a firewolf once." He blinks as if the answer was a surprise even to him. "Naki? He said he came from a tribe of warriors.”

Cloud stops dead in his tracks. “How the heck do you know Red 13?”

“I would refrain from calling him that, sir. That isn't a name he chose.”

Sephiroth's answer is immediate. Reactive. The small twitch in the boy's eyebrows would have been easy to miss without enhancements. For a preteen, his control over his own emotions is impressive, but as it is Cloud can hear the restraint in his young voice, the way it trembles and pitches when he's holding back nerves and anger. And he catches the moment his breath hitches, realizing his insubordination.

"Apologies sir, it’s just- When I met Nanaki in the labs, he told me names are important.” And Cloud catches the moment the boy composes himself. Traces of lingering emotion, gone. “He helped me remember mine."

Zack’s voice is thin when he interjects. "Why would you need to remember your name Seph?"

The boy is quiet for a moment before he scampers on ahead. "I just forget sometimes."

Both men sigh and Cloud looks to his remaining companion. "Well, that's a blatant lie."

Zack crosses his arms in thought. “Keep an eye out for any odd ticks, it's not like him to lie like this."

He ignores Cloud's indignant squawk. 

"Sephiroth? Not lying?" 

"Hey Seph, wait up!” Zack runs ahead and wraps an arm around the boy's shoulders, slowing him down. Still in disbelief that he can even see above his head. "You're not in trouble 'kay?" He waits for the timid nod before continuing. "What about non-soldiers? We have non-combatants here too.”

The boy blinks at him. His previous offense seemingly swept under the rug by his two commanding officers. He plays along. “Professor Gast. Doctor Gillian.” Zack holds back his surprise at the latter. While Cloud tries not to flinch at the former. 

"No."

Sephiroth’s face scrunches up in the slightest way. “Professor Hollander and Professor Hojo?”

“Definitely not here.”

“Why don’t you think of people you actually like? We’ll tell you if they’re here or not.”

The sigh of relief is heard. “Mr Verdot?”

“Who’s Verdot?"

“Head Turk. Before Tseng.” Zack hasn’t heard Verdot’s name in a long time. “Tseng was suddenly top dog by the time we woke up. Man, I wish he was here.”

“You wish Tseng were here?”

“Yeah. Why? Is that bad? What happened after I died?”

“A lot.”

“What about Felicia?” 

The name is unfamiliar to the two older warriors.

“Mr Verdot’s daughter. Fey has made claims of wanting to be like her father, I assume she grew up to be a Turk?"

Cloud looks to Zack for clarification but he's just as confused. 

“Sorry Seph, I’ve never met… Fey.”

They keep the conversation casual. It’s easier to talk about nothing at all. Remembering the names of all of these - possibly dead - people is all that’s tethering this kid right now. His voice trembles every now and then, the child listing off different people he knows. Names Cloud has never heard before. Names he seems to be fond of. He never thought the Sephiroth would know this many people. But Cloud remembers what it's like to be thirteen and out of your depth, travelling with strangers in an unknown land. Cloud could almost forget that he's a bringer of ruin and destruction. A manipulator in the guise of a child to get them to lower their guards.

Or he’s actually just a kid.

Cloud doesn't talk to him directly, he talks past him to Zack. And the boy notices.

Cloud clears his throat. "Got any more names in that noggin?"

Damn. I really just said that.

The look of shock at being addressed by him is almost heartbreaking. It's not an apology, not quite, but the boy accepts it.

"Shuriken."

"What?"

"It’s not a name, it's a wusheng weapon. It's the weapon of choice for a young female being trained by the Turks."

“Cissnei! You’ve met Cissnei!”

“I see she changed her name again.”

"What about your trainers, teachers, whatever?"

"I have been training for various skills and abilities since birth." 

Experimented on and examined, more like.

"Ever killed anybody?" 

“Cloud!”

"No sir, I-" He pauses in his stride, head slowly turning, tilted just so as if searching for something out of his field of vision. "I've never killed anyone. But I seem to recall that I have." His voice is small, an unbelieving whisper. He recovers quickly. Eyes forward to his commanding officer - or as close to one he's going to get.. "I seem to have gaps in my memory, sir. I know for a fact that I have not eliminated life but… my memories-" He fidgets, “um.”

He’s stammering. That’s so weird.

"Easy buddy, it’s ok. Could be this world is giving you back some lost memories, right?” Sephiroth looks smaller under Zack's one armed hug. 

Cloud tests his own mind and recalls the fateful truck ride to Nibelheim in perfect clarity. The jarring of the truck, caused by rough terrain and Zack's restless squats. The General telling him to settle down. It did nothing to change the uncemented road but the truck sways a little less. Cloud remembers his younger, stupider, star struck self throwing a grateful smile to his hero. Sephiroth smiling back, closing his eyes to try and get some sleep before Zack bombards him with more questions. He hasn’t owned that memory in years.

“I- why wouldn’t I have my memories?”

His voice is small, unsure. Just like Cloud when his head was filled with lies and broken memories. There’s a stirring in his heart like a pang of pity. He feels himself connected to the boy by a tiny thread. And kills that thought immediately. The last thing he needs is to start clamoring for Reunion.

“Do you always just answer questions honestly?”

The boy tries not to look struck. “Am I not supposed to?” He clears his throat. "The scientists were adamant I answered all questions truthfully and with as much detail as possible. Information is gathered faster that way."

Zack presses a hand to Cloud’s shoulders, slowing him down to a stop. Cloud turns to Sephiroth. "Go on ahead. And don't listen in."

The boy almost looks hurt for a moment before grim determination overtakes his face. This is one instruction he's used to at the labs and the war meetings. He's never allowed to know these discussions. "Yessir."

Zack doesn’t wait for him to be out of earshot.

"I think Shinra is taking his memories.”

"That’s not possible."

Zack scoffs. "It's Hojo. You don’t think he found a way to give people amnesia just for the fun of it?"

"So, what? You think Hojo just takes away his memories when it's convenient?"

Zack's shrug is anything but casual. "Easier to control someone when they have no one on their side. He killed someone before the age of thirteen and Shinra doesn’t want him to remember."

They walk for a while longer trying to find others from their world to no avail. So they move on to finding anyone from anywhere. The silence hanging over them is almost cloying the atmosphere. But Sephiroth doesn't speak up again. Doesn't know if he's allowed to.

Zack breaks the silence. "You ok bud? I mean, first time outside of Shinra." Zack gestures around them vaguely. "Waddaya think?"

"I-" he blinks suddenly understanding."We're not in a hologram." He says more to verify it himself than question authority. Cloud watches him freeze, taking in every sensation that until now he'd taken for granted. The sound of birds flying in the distance, the feel of wind through their fingers. Sephiroth twitches his fingers as if attempting to catch the wind. 

Cloud slows down, staring into the distance, listening.

“We’re here.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, past the trees. I’d know those voices anywhere.” His smirk lingers into a smile. “How about it kid? You wanna go ahead and see if you know anyone?”

By the timid look in the boy’s eyes, it looks like he doesn’t want to go alone. But before Cloud could retract his question, the boy nods and heads towards the camp.

Zack watches him leave out of earshot this time. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know Zack. I admit the kid act is cute but," he's clamoring for the right words, "I keep expecting the same guy I've been fighting over and over. Not this. I’ve been summoned here before but Sephiroth gets summoned here specifically to be my enemy."

"Cloud! You can't still wanna fight him, he's a kid! Look at his tiny shoulders!"

“No Zack, I don't wanna fight him. I don't wanna fight anyone." He blinks as another memory returns. "Dammit.”

“What?”

“Someone once told me what matters is the connection; the gods don't care who. And by the look of things, they don't even care when.”

Wait until I tell Kuja how right he was. He'd have a field day for sure.

Chapter Text

Lost on what to do, Cloud searches for the one person who might actually understand how tiresome this all is. Zack is all too new to this, too optimistic. But Cloud has been brought here too many times before. The outcome will always be the same despite the tampering of new gods. So he leaves Sephiroth with Zack and the pale reassurance that they’ll behave themselves. For now.

He finds him at the edge of Cornelia, listening to the flow of the river, staring at the stars like he’ll lose his vision the moment he sleeps tonight. His long silver hair streams past his pretty face, folding into his clothing where it falls like glistening streams around him. He trades one head of silver for another. Cloud gets it, it’s ironic. 

Lazy feet scrape along the floor, the sound no doubt reaching his intended target. He scuffs his foot a final time on the gravel; a poor substitute for greeting.

“Your memories intact?” He drawls. 

Kuja hums a dismissal. Doesn't even turn to look. “What troubles bring the young hero to a villain like me? Again, might I add.”

"I'll take that as a yes."

Kuja smirks thin lips over his shoulder. 

"I've seen you these last few days. It seems you have a few tails following you."

“Please. Like you don’t have a tail of your own.”

Kuja flicks his real tail, visible now that he's wearing simpler clothes. Shiny and silver, sleek and deceptively delicate like the rest of him. “I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”

“Yeah you do. A flirt, refuses to leave you alone, can be overly emotional, finds the good in everyone, hero type, starts with a ‘z’?

Kuja eyes him from the side and gives a sly grin. “‘Zack?'"

Cloud chuckles lightly. “Right.”

But the moment is dampened by Cloud’s dark mood. One, the likes of Kuja could easily identify. He has always been good at reading the emotions and intentions of everyone. Even from the most guarded of them.

The mage sighs. "You skirt around the words you want to say. Questions you want to ask. Is it really important or did you just want to spend time with little old me?"

Cloud shouldn’t hesitate. Kuja knows how to sow contention by playing with people’s desires, but by the same ability, he knows how to get to the bottom of everyone’s problems. The way he’s already analysing the blonde warrior now. "Do you remember, there was one time we were summoned here and-"

"You kept avoiding your enemy like the plague? Yes I remember it quite clearly now. Kefka was a worse pain than usual."

Cloud huffs a laugh at remembering the animosity between the two… allies? On the same side but he supposes villains aren't meant to get along.

“But that’s what we’re here for isn’t it? To fight?”

“From what I understand, this is a world of respite. Here we rest. Get to know our enemies. Become friends. Or not. But there is another world where there is endless fighting. There we will be summoned. And there we will have to fight.” 

“I didn’t want to fight Sephiroth then. I don’t know if I can bring myself to fight him now.” He mumbles, “As he is.”

“Does it matter?”

“Hm?”

“Does it matter? Whatever age, whatever era, whatever memory he has, in the end he is still your enemy, is he not?”

“I mean, yeah of course.”

“Then you know it has to be done. But can you do it?”

“What?”

“He is and always will be your enemy. But he has no recollection of that. As far as he remembers this is his first time out of the labs. He’s never been to war.” He faces the stars again, but his eyes see beyond to a memory that isn’t there. He whispers, “What wonders the world outside brings.”

"That what happened to you?"

That broke the spell Kuja was under and he huffs out a laugh. “If I’d known I was going to die, I would have spent all of my time outside my prison discovering the world. Maybe. There’s so much to see and yet I wasted it all doing what I was created to do. Has your enemy seen the world, Cloud? Maybe he’d like to.” Long fingers caress the blades of grass underneath his palms. "It isn't the real world, no. But for someone with so little time, it is a good enough substitute.”

“Sephiroth died for the first time as an adult. He had plenty of time.”

“In your world, the moment this boy steps out into the open sky, he becomes a killer. I'd say he has no time at all.” His sharp tired gaze lingers on Cloud, hoping to have reached him. But there is nothing. He sighs, defeated. “I have said my piece. Make of it what you will.”

The quiet night quickly fills the empty space with tense silence. Kuja, slow and unusual, no longer staring at the sky. He moves to get up.

“Sh*t, no, don’t get up. I came here to bother you. I’ll go.”

“It seems I’ve lost my appetite for hoping and dreaming. Perhaps I’ve had my fill of staring into the stars and trying to witness the future for one night”

Cloud knows when he’s been dismissed. And the resigned disappointment radiating from Kuja causes a pang in his heart he didn’t know existed. 

Get it together Cloud. You’re not friends, don’t let it bother you.

"Goodnight little raincloud. The gods may be fickle but if they summoned you to fight, then you will have no choice but to fight."

Cloud shakes his head, Kuja and his cryptic warnings. He makes his way back to camp where new comers are still arriving and setting up their tents. Laughter rises into the night. Despite all the terrible experiences he’s had in these worlds, he has to admit, he’s missed the friends he’s made. Jogging lightly, the voices become more distinct. That’s when he hears her . He sees her familiar face grinning, bright smile lighting up her face as she sees Zack, runs to him and gets twirled by the dark haired SOLDIER for her trouble. Cloud’s heart immediately becomes shades lighter at the reunion. 

Nope. Not calling it that.

And behind them where they can’t have noticed. Sephiroth. Cloud sees the moment the silver haired boy spots her and walks faster. Purpose and intent in his confident gait. Cloud’s sword hand twitches towards Tsurugi’s hilt. There's no way in hell he's letting that miniature demon near-

“Ifalna? Ifalna!”

What?

Aerith drops her smile, eyes wide open in shock like she was hearing ghosts. She turns quickly. Green eyes shimmering, she stares down her killer.

“Big brother?”

Sephiroth looks struck, confused. “Brother?” 

Eager excitement is swiftly wiped free from the boy, his body language quickly becoming small and timid. He approaches cautiously like a wounded animal seeking refuge. Bare hand reaches out; she stays still as thin pale fingers touch her face. “Aerith?”

She doesn't crouch down. Doesn't need to, he's almost as tall as she is.

“Yeah,” she says in a rush of breath. All choked up. it’s me.”

A flash of sorrow dims his eyes. “You grew up. You-” He gives her a soft lopsided grin, chasing away the confusion with cheek. “You got taller!

She smiles at him warmly, approving, like a big sister should. Pats him on the head and leaves it there. “And you're almost as tall as me.” 

“I have not even hit my growth spurt yet.”

She pouts. "Don't remind me."

The boy's eyes are alight, he's more animated than the last few days they’ve spent here, shy smile peeking out from behind the curtain of hair.

"Hojo has been impatient. He thinks I should be taller by now. Mr Verdot said it’s because Hojo is stupid and does not know anything about children.”

Aerith frowns, nodding sagely. "Hojo is stupid. Stupid, stupid Hojo!" She grins at the boy conspiratorial as he giggles like an overhappy baby.

Again, what?

A tense hushed silence falls over the two reunited… siblings? In his confusion, Cloud almost misses the pain in her eyes before she hugs the youngest. Moisture gathers on her eyelashes with small delicate tears fit for her maturity. Emotions held back for the sake of the child she holds in her arms. She sniffles softly, only loud enough for the enhanced to hear.

"I've missed you. I'm glad you're ok."

Sephiroth sighs, content and a little melancholy, holding the little girl he hasn’t held in years. He used to carry her on his shoulders when the scientists weren’t looking. She wanted to be tall like him. And Hojo- that's right. Hojo had taken those memories too.

"You're all grown up.” His voice wavers at the last word, this boy trying to be brave. “I'm sorry I wasn’t there to be the big brother you should have had."

Aerith chokes on a sob. The damn breaks, she wails. Big fat tears falling down her pretty face, eyebrows drawn together as she holds him tighter.

Oh sh*t what?

The boy looks stunned for a moment as if unsure what to do. But then a calm washes over his face, he smiles softly and he hugs her back. Like a big brother should.