Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A young girl sat in a cell, carving into the back wall with her nails. Despite hearing the door open behind her, she ignored it and continued carving. She heard the tray being placed on the stone ground. It echoed in the silence.

“Your food.” The guard told her to no response, other than the grating sound of keratin on stone. “What are you doing?” The girl ignored him. “You’ve no one to blame but yourself, you know.” He shook his head, muttering, “Nothing sadder than a kid throwing themselves in prison.” If the girl heard him, she hid it perfectly. “I didn’t even know it was possible for someone as young as you to get solitary, but if anyone’s earned it, it’s you.”

He turned around, and walked towards the open cell door. The young girl grinned. She turned around and jumped on the guard in a single, fluid motion. She pressed her sharp nails against his throat, threatening to break through the skin. “Sorry I didn’t talk.” She drove her nails further, the guard sputtering as his blue ink-blood covered her hands. “I was busy sharpening my nails.”

She yanked her fingernails out of the skin, causing eight streams of ink-blood to stream out of his neck. The guard silently tried to scream or call for help. He fell to his knees, clutching his neck with both hands. The teenager walked over to kneel in front of the guard, letting him see her grin.

“I can’t believe you didn’t see me coming. Of course, now you won’t be seeing much of anything for a while.” She pointed her thin, sharp nails at his eyes.

An alarm blared throughout the prison. A small figure ran through the halls, pursued by armed guards. She waited until they reached the abandoned cafeteria, where she hid under a table in a darkened corner. The guards instantly noticed the purple glow of her tentacle-hair. The one at the front of the group fired a specially-modified N-zap ‘85 at her. Highly-pressurized orange ink launched out of the gray barrel. The sound echoed throughout the cafeteria.

The prisoner jumped off the table, allowing the shots to burst under her. She landed on the floor a few feet in front of the dozen guards, grinning and baring her fangs. “Okay, we’ve had our fun. But I think I’ve spent long enough here.”

“Hardly. Come quietly or we will use force.”

“Oh, come on. You’re really going to shoot a defenseless little girl? It’s because of my face, isn’t it?” She pointed at her face. One side was covered in red and purple cracks, her eye permanently bulging and dried out.

“Come off it. We all know what you’re capable of, and what you’ve done. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have a life sentence at your age.”

“Oh, trust me. You have no idea what I’m capable of.” She abruptly leaped onto the front guard, scratching his eyes. He fell to the ground, clutching his face and screaming in pain. The prisoner picked up the guard’s firearm and stood on his back. She held up her arm, pointing the weapon at a metal brace around her elbow. “Stop! What are you doing?!”

“Sorry. This thing looks cool and all, but it’s cold and uncomfortable.” She slammed the weapon against the brace, puncturing a hole in it. With the device no longer sending electromagnetic signals through her skin, preventing her from doing so, she turned into a squid while the guards’ ammo fired overhead. She shifted back instantly.

“Plus, not being able to shift is a real hassle.” She fired the weapon while dodging the guards’ shots. After half a minute, a young girl stood in the middle of a pile of armed guards lying on their backs. “I’m going to get out of here.” She kicked their lifeless bodies and took another modded N-zap ‘85 for herself.

“And when I do, the world will learn to fear the name Taylor Yonshi.”

The Myers siblings teleported into the living room of the base. “Lauren. You called us?” Marcus stepped forward.

“ Agent 4, we’re on duty; call me captain. ” Lauren stood up from the chair, her posture a facade of confidence, and held up her cell phone. “Apparently, there’s been a jailbreak at Inkopolis Penitentiary. One guess who busted out.”

Marcus clenched his fists and jaw. “Taylor.”

“Exactly.” Lauren read from her phone screen, “Last night, Taylor Yonshi, age 15, broke out of Inkopolis Penitentiary. Fifteen guards were killed in the process.” Lauren’s gaze turned down. She stared at her hand. She gradually curled and uncurled her fingers, as though ensuring it was still there.

“Lauren? Hey, Lauren, are you still with us?” Katherine’s voice called her back to reality. “Oh, sorry kati- I mean, agent 8. It’s just, y’know, after what happened…” Lauren clenched her fist until her palm turned white. “It’s okay, Lau- I mean, captain Laker. Do we have any idea where she is?”

“Possibly.” Lauren turned back to the task at hand, “Apparently, there’s been some weird stuff going on where mount Nantai used to be. As in, permanent storm clouds and unconfirmed sightings of undead monsters type of weird.”

“Undead… you mean like those things guarding the Necronomicon at Innsmouth county?”

“Possibly, but we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Now come on team, let’s go out and investigate. Agents 1 and 2 are doing a concert at New Sardine, so we can’t get them to back us up.”

“That’s fine.” Marcus shrugged, taking his phone out of his pocket, “I’ll just call Eric.” After a few seconds of silence, the cell phone buzzed with a dial tone. “What the…?”

“I’ll try calling Tyler.” Lauren glanced at her phone, only to nearly drop it. “What?! No! I… it was just on 90%! How is it dead?!” She shook her head, “Let me try the communicators.” She tapped the device on her wrist, to no avail. “Dammit. Taylor must be messing with our signals somehow.” She looked up at her fellow agents, “Come on, team. Looks like it’s just the three of us.”

Three agents clambered through the ruins of Mt Nantai. Miles away from Inkopolis, the mountain had been reduced to an inconceivably massive pile of stone and defunct machinery. “Man. How long has it been since we were last here?” Lauren wondered aloud.

“Not long enough, if you ask me.” Katherine replied, “I think it’s safe to say all three of us have bad memories of this place.”

“Yeah.” Marcus quietly agreed, unconsciously covering his chest with his hand. Looking down, he noticed a hole in the landscape of charred rocks that seemed to lead to a tunnel. “Hey, I think I found something.”

Lauren walked over and kneeled down to look into the tunnel. She nodded, “Good work, agent 4. Let’s see.” Marcus and Katherine both nodded, and followed Lauren down the tunnel. It gradually sloped downwards, the sunlight growing dimmer and the air growing staler as they descended into the bowels of the ruined mountain. 

They tried to remain as silent as possible, for a not entirely-unfounded fear of disturbing the uncountable millions of tons of rock and machinery overhead. After what felt like days, they reached a wall in the tunnel. “Okay.” Marcus whispered, reaching up to touch the ceiling, “Clearly I was mistaken. Let’s just go back up and-”

“Wait.” Katherine grabbed his wrist before he could turn around; not quite forcefully, but hard enough that he stayed. “There’s a gap in the rocks, and I think I see something in there.” She pointed at a thin gap created by the curves of two separate boulders. From the yellow glow generated by Lauren’s tentacle-hair in the dark, they could see a vague shape moving around indistinguishably.

“Right.” Lauren decided quietly, “Let’s shift in.” The three shifted into their cephalopod forms long enough to slide through the gap, immediately turning back to humanoid as soon as they reached the other side.

Taylor kneeled in the middle of the chamber within the remnants of mt. Nantai. Months ago, she had felt the tremors even in the confines of her prison, as a great and terrible machine had burst from the mountain like a leviathan hatching from a massive egg to lay waste to all before it. She used her weapon of choice, an inkbrush as long as herself, to spread purple ink all over the floor in distinct, deliberate patterns.

After some indeterminate amount of time, she saw a yellow and green glow through a crack in the wall. The glows were accompanied by voices, their words unintelligible for the hushed whispers they spoke in. Taylor narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip on her brush in rage, until her knuckles turned white. Even if she couldn’t understand the words, even if she hadn’t seen him since the trial all those months ago, she recognized the voice of the boy with the green glow. Before she could speak, the glow disappeared, leaving her purple the only remaining bioluminescence. 

After a second, the three interlopers shifted back into their humanoid forms. Marcus yelled, “Taylor! The hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Oh, of course. I should’ve known you’d show up.” She snarled, jabbing her inkbrush at the agents, “I’m trying to avenge David, and prove my worth as a member of Are We Cool Yet?! I’m going to kill you, Marcus. I’m going to kill you for everything you’ve done to me!”

“What have I done to you?!”

“You ruined my life! You got me arrested! All because you couldn’t just let me be in control! But now, I can finally take my revenge.” Her voice lowered as she grinned, pulling taut the cracks in the broken half of her face. “After all, did you really think I’d let that demon possess me if I couldn’t get something out of it?” She raised her arm over the painting she’d created on the floor. It glowed a bright orange. She spoke in a strange, unnaturally deep and raspy voice, “Awaken.”

The glow transferred from her arm to the outline of her painting, filling the chamber with an unnatural orange tint. The glow disappeared after a few seconds, leaving a humanoid in its place. He stood in place, his eyes vacant and expression neutral.

“David?! You brought him back?!” Marcus fired two bursts of plasma that knocked the pseudo-David into the back wall. It dropped to the floor like a ragdoll before instantly standing up straight, showing no signs of having registered the impact.

“Well, I didn’t really bring him back. This is just a copy. I’m an artist, not a necromancer. David, help me kill these three so we can have our revenge.” David lunged at Marcus, pinning him to the cave floor. Taylor laughed, “Looks like the student has become the master.”

Lauren and Katherine fired three separate bursts of plasma. The end of Taylor’s brush glowed orange, as she used it to deflect the plasma into the walls. Marcus shifted into squid form before turning back into a humanoid, standing up, and slamming his foot into the pseudo-David’s back. “Taylor’s mine!” He jumped off of David’s back to fire a blast of plasma at Taylor. She jumped over the explosion, dropkicking Marcus to the ground.

“Actually, it looks like you’re mine.” Taylor’s leg glowed orange. She roundhouse-kicked Marcus in the gut, sending him flying backwards. Katherine screamed, “Marcus! That’s my brother, you little-” David slammed his elbow into the back of her head, knocking her forward.

Kat turned around to lunge, driving her daggers into the copy’s sternum. A viscous orange fluid dripped down from around the blades. The pseudo-David opened its mouth, releasing a deafening screech that sent Katherine reeling backwards, the skin threatening to peel off her face. The daggers fell out of David’s chest and clattered to the floor, while the hole in the thing’s body closed with wet, visceral squelching sounds. Katherine winced, stepping backwards while David walked towards her, keeping them at an even distance. It stepped on the daggers, ignoring the sharp edges that stabbed through its fake shoes and into its fake skin.

A pair of arms wrapped around the pseudo-David’s neck from behind. It screeched, grabbing Lauren’s arm and slamming her onto the hard, stone floor before striking her in the stomach with its foot.

Lauren screamed in pain, her weapon falling out of her hand as she desperately flailed and struggled. Black spots appeared in her vision, and she found it increasingly difficult to breathe. She heard a guttural, animalistic screech, before the weight was lifted off her stomach. Lauren sputtered, blinking and raising herself onto her palms. 

Katherine had grabbed Lauren’s weapon off the ground and pinned the pseudo-David to the cave floor. Lauren stood up on trembling legs. She watched as Katherine shoved the hero shot DX into the pseudo-David’s mouth, her entire body shaking with fury, and pulled the trigger without hesitating.

Marcus fired bursts of plasma from his splatling, stumbling back from the recoil each time, while Taylor effortlessly dodged and deflected each strike. Her brush flew through the air at blinding speeds, and at times she moved so fast as to seemingly be in two places at once.

Eventually, she managed to get behind Marcus and punch him in the back, sending him sprawling to the floor. He stood up, green ink-blood dripping from his bottom lip. “What… is your problem? Why do you have it out for me so bad? Why can’t you just leave me alone?!”

“Why? Why not?!” Taylor’s eyes glowed orange, and her voice grew louder, until the entire chamber was shaking, “Because you ruined my life! You got me arrested! You just couldn’t handle me being in charge!” She lunged at Marcus, dragging him across the cave floor as the skin on his back burned from the friction.

“It’s your own fault! You’re just a selfish, entitled, abusive sociopath! You can’t handle taking responsibility for anything you do! Screw you!” Marcus jabbed her broken eye with his middle finger, causing her to recoil and hiss in pain. She raked her nails across his face, cutting through the skin. He threw a punch into her face, knocking out a tooth and standing up. Taylor’s arm glowed orange. She swung it into Marcus’s stomach, launching him a dozen feet into the rock wall. He fell to the ground, coughing up a puddle of green ink-blood and a few teeth.

Taylor conjured a rope made of orange light, lashing out one end to constrict around Marcus’s throat. He sputtered and gasped for breath, writhing in pain and grasping desperately at his throat as his vision clouded over.

A blinding flash of light filled the pseudo-David’s face for a split-second, before its head exploded into a puddle of orange sludge. Its body hung limp. Katherine saw red. She heard Marcus and Taylor arguing in the background, their words muffled as though separated by dozens of feet of distance.

“Katie…” Lauren stumbled forward, placing a hand on Katherine’s shoulder. She panted, “That… that was awesome!”

“Yeah.” Kat gave a shaky smile. She and Lauren struggled to hold each other up. While they attempted to catch their breaths, inattentive to their own surroundings, the pseudo-David’s head grew back from the stump of its neck. It grabbed Katherine’s daggers from the ground, and plunged them into their shoulders before either could react. Lauren and Katherine collapsed to the ground, in too much pain to so much as make any vocalizations. “Good!” Taylor commanded her creation, “Now kill them!”

The pseudo-David rose Katherine’s daggers over her and Lauren’s heads. The air nearby warped as though there was a nearby heat source, while no one thought to pay it any mind. The second it brought the weapons down, something struck it in the back. It turned around to look down at the yellow and blue weapon on the floor. The mystic rope disappeared from around Marcus’s neck from Taylor’s surprise.

“What?! Who are you?!” A young inkling woman had jumped into existence, her vibrant blue-green tentacle-hairs hanging at her sides as she examined the cavern. “I could ask you the same thing. I have so many questions. But first…” She ran forward and pivoted on one leg to kick the pseudo-David in the chest, causing it to stumble backward one step.

Lauren and Katherine forced their heads up, blinking to watch as the newcomer brought her foot down on one end of the hero shot, launching it upwards. The weapon rotated vertically until the inkling effortlessly caught it in midair, shooting ink into her opponent’s eyes in a single motion.

“Stop!” Taylor yelled. She grasped the sides of Marcus’s head, with both hands glowing orange. He screamed in agonizing pain as he writhed on his hands and knees. “I’ll kill him! I swear I’m not bluffing!”

“She’s not!” Katherine yelled from the ground, “Please, just do what she says!”

“The octoling knows what she’s talking about.” Taylor slightly tightened her grip on Marcus’s head, eliciting another cry of pain. “Now, drop your weapon.” The woman hesitated, grip briefly tightening on her hero shot before throwing it to the ground. The sound of metal clattering on stone echoed throughout the cavern. “Good girl. Now tell me: who are you?”

“Why should I tell you anything?! What even is this place?”

Taylor’s eyes glowed. She spoke with three simultaneous voices, each with a slightly different pitch, “Do what I say or I’ll put him out of my misery!”

Katherine stood up, stumbling forward. “Taylor, please, stop!”

“Tell me!” Taylor screamed.

Marcus yelled out as green ink-blood dripped from around Taylor’s fingers, “Help… me…!”

“May!”

“What’s that?” Taylor slightly loosened her grip, leaving Marcus gasping and convulsing.

“My name. May Pike.”

“Wh… what?” Marcus blinked.

“So this is what power feels like, huh?” Taylor grinned, “I can see the appeal. Now, I want you to tell me some secrets about yourself.”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“I’m just a bit curious. And if you don’t…” She placed one hand on top of Marcus’s head, and slowly tightened her grip. “...I’ll crush his head.”

“You’re insane!”

“May, please…” Lauren stood up, her weapon shaking in her hand. “...just… for now, just go along with her.” May looked back to Taylor. Lines of green ink-blood were starting to appear around her fingers, and Marcus was in too much pain to make any sound.

“Okay, fine! I’ll tell you!” She hesitated for a moment.

“Well? Tell me what?”

“That I’m agent 3.”

Taylor released Marcus in surprise. “What now?” The air around her started to warp.

“No, no, that’s not… she can’t…” Lauren stammered to herself. The empty air directly behind Taylor burst open. A young man emerged from nothingness and kicked Taylor in the back of her head. She screamed in pain, launched forward, as the inkling scrambled to his feet.

“What? What’s going on? Oh no, I am so sorry!”

“Don’t apologize; she’s evil!” Lauren blurted out.

“Aaron! What the hell is going on?!” May screamed at no one in particular. “May? What’s happening?!”

“Die!” Taylor shot an orb of orange energy at him from the tip of her inkbrush. The stranger barely managed to duck under it, leaving it to explode on the cave wall behind him. “Ah, nuts.” A massive boulder fell from the ceiling directly over Marcus’s head. “Kid, watch out!” The man grabbed Marcus and dragged him away from the collapsing ceiling.

“Thanks. Y-you’re really strong.” Marcus stammered, face pale and bleeding.

“I, uh, I think he might be delirious.” The older man pointed out. He stood head and shoulders over the rest of the group, and his green tentacle-hair was slicked back similar to Mark’s.

“Ya think?” Lauren dialed her communicator. “Sheldon, we need two more communicators, now!”

“Understood, agent- I mean, captain 3- I mean, captain Laker.” Two communicators appeared in Lauren’s hand. The cave continued to implode around them, filling the chamber with dust and rubble.

Taylor fired bursts of energy from her inkbrush at the boulders that got close to her. “You know what? You guys have fun here. I’m out!” She disappeared in a burst of orange light.

“Okay, here’s-” Lauren started coughing from the dust while attaching the transporters to the other two inklings’ wrists. “Here’s the code. Just type it in. Trust me?” 

“Who are you?” May yelled, “Was that Sheldon? Did he call you captain?”

“Just trust me! We don’t have time!” A large boulder emphasized her point by falling onto the floor less than a foot away.

“Good point.” The man entered the code, and instantaneously disappeared.

“What the-?! Aaron! What did you do to him?!”

“Don’t worry; he just teleported.” Katherine explained, “I’d recommend you do the same, unless you want to stay here.” Her eyes had started to redden from the smoke that now filled half the cavern.

"Okay, good. Fair enough." May input the code, disappearing with the other three.

Sheldon stood in the middle of the living room, while Pearl and Marina walked through the front door. “Yo, Sheldon, what’re ya doing here? I thought you were working.” Pearl asked, tapping his head.

“Well, funny story-”

A man appeared in the living room from out of nowhere. “Intruder!” Pearl screamed, jumping up and punching him in the stomach.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“I’ll go call Callie and Marie.” Sheldon ran into the laboratory nearby. Marcus, Lauren, Katherine, and another girl teleported into the living room.

“Kids, who are these two?” Marina asked, “Wait, Marcus, what happened to you?”

Katherine helped her brother sit on the couch, green ink-blood dripping from his face onto the cushions. “Taylor happened.” She explained succinctly, while he breathed out a thanks.

“Wait, Taylor?” Marina startled, “Didn’t we get her locked up last year?”

“She broke out.” Marcus held his head and trembled, “She broke out, and she got powers from Majora, and she almost killed us.” He looked up at one of the newcomers. “You saved my life. Thank you so much. Aaron, right?”

“Yeah, Aaron. And you’re welcome.”

Katherine retrieved a first aid kit from a nearby wall, and started applying bandages to Marcus’s cuts.

“Thanks, sis.” He gasped, holding still.

Katherine nodded. “Don’t mention it.”

“Hey, kid, mind if I help?” May offered, “Trust me, I know a thing or two about first aid kits, and that girl really did a number on your friend.”

Kat shook her head. “Thanks, but I think I can handle this. I’ll let you know if I need any help. Also, he’s my brother.”

May’s eyes widened in surprise. “But you’re an octoling, and he’s an inkling.”

“She’s adopted.” Marcus clarified.

“Ah.” May nodded in understanding, “Gotcha.” She turned around as Lauren tapped her on the shoulder.

“So, you’re agent 3, right?”

“Uh, yeah, but you’re not supposed to know about that.” May held her arm nervously.

“Well, that’s funny, because I’m agent 3.”

“I-I’m sorry. What?”

“Just for the record, I’m agent 4.” Aaron interjected.

“I’m agent 4! Wait…” Marcus realized, “Oh no, not again. You two are from another dimension!”

“What?!” Aaron yelled, “What are you talking about?”

“No, wait, I think he’s right.” May grabbed onto his arm. “That would explain how we were just in that cave without actually going anywhere.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Aaron remembered, “One minute, I was practicing my jump kicks, and the next, I was in a cave fighting a crazy little girl.”

“What I don’t get is, how’d we cross dimensions in the first place?” May looked around the room. “We should get to your headquarters and talk to captain Cuttlefish. Maybe he’ll know something.”

Lauren, Marcus, and Katherine all looked at each other, before Lauren pointed at herself. “Mr. Cuttlefish retired. I’m the captain now.”

“Wait, you’re the captain?” Aaron cocked his head to the side. “But you’re just a kid!”

“Hey, for your information, my 18th birthday is tomorrow.”

“Well, happy birthday, captain, but that’s just it. You’re a teenager.”

“Oh, please.” Lauren crossed her arms indignantly, “I’m willing to bet I’ve been through way more than you could imagine. Same goes for your world’s agent 3 too.”

“How dare you?!”

“You two, shut up!” May held her arms out between Lauren and Aaron, while Katherine held Lauren back by the arms.

“Listen, all of you.” Marina ordered, waiting until they were all looking at her. “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here, or how you two got to this universe, but I do know one thing.”

“Which is…?” Pearl motioned for her to continue.

“What? Oh, sorry, I was, just, y’know, trying to pause for dramatic effect. Anyway, what I know is that if we’re constantly fighting each other, it’ll be that much harder for us to figure out what’s going on here.”

Aaron took a second to put his arms down. “You’re right. Sorry, it’s just, she’s a kid. Are you sure she’s captain material?”

All eyes in the room turned to Lauren. She put her arms around her torso, despite forcing herself to hold up her head. “To be perfectly honest, I’m not really sure myself. I’ve been having doubts ever since I first got promoted. But be that as it may…” 

She lowered her arms to her sides, clenched her fists, and straightened her posture. “...I accepted the responsibilities of being the New Squibeak Splatoon’s captain. Craig Cuttlefish himself told me that he and his granddaughters all agreed that I was the best choice to be the second captain.” She turned her hardened, unblinking gaze to Aaron. “And I don’t intend to disappoint them.”

The older inkling looked into her eyes for a moment. “Okay. I can’t say I’m convinced, but if Callie, Marie, and Cuttlefish trust you, then you can’t be all bad.”

“Thanks. Right now, that’s good enough for me.”

“So, does anyone have any ideas on how we got here in the first place?” May asked, sitting on a nearby chair, “And why the base is so much…” She looked around, tapping the armrest with her knuckle, “...roomier and less underground than where I’m from?”

“Our old bases were all destroyed a couple years back, so Marina’s been letting us crash at her place ever since.” Marcus piped up from the couch, “As for how you two got here, you know how Taylor was using those powers with the freaky orange glow?” 

“That little creep who tried to use your head as a stress ball? You think she had something to do with it?” Aaron asked.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I do.” Marcus averted his gaze from the older inkling. He cleared his throat, “So, anyway, she got those powers from a demon from another dimension. Maybe her using them like she did caused some sort of dimensional warp thingy.”

“If that’s the case, then we need to stop her yesterday. You guys all remember what happened last time.” Marina insisted.

“Well, we don’t!” May yelled in exasperation, “How are you guys so… calm about this? I mean, alternate dimensions, demons, magic…”

Marcus shrugged, “You get used to it after a while. We’ve been dealing with this stuff for over a year now. I actually have a card that lets me into the infinite Library at the center of the multiverse.”

“I’m not even going to try to figure out that last part.” Aaron stated bluntly. “So, anyway, what happened last time?”

Marina answered, “It’s a bit hard to explain without getting into some really complicated metaphysical jargon, but let’s just say that multiple universes colliding with each other can have devastating ripple effects for the entire multiverse.”

“Well, we can’t let that happen, now can we?” May punched her open palm, “Let’s find this Taylor girl and put our dimensions back in order.”

Sheldon slammed the laboratory door open. “Guys! Callie and Marie just called; something happened in New Sardine! I don’t know what, but it sounded like they need backup.”

Lauren winced, “Just our luck. We don’t have any teleport beacons there.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’ve got your license.” Katherine pointed out.

“Actually, I think I have my license on me.” May interjected, briefly feeling at her pockets, “But I’m not sure it’d actually work in this dimension.”

“Alright.” Lauren decided, “Sheldon, you stay here on lookout. I’ll drive the rest of us to New Sardine. Agent 4, you up for another fight?”

“ Of course! ” Aaron and Marcus affirmed in unison. They both glanced at each other. “Oh, wait. Sorry, force of habit.”

“It’s fine.” Marcus blushed. “ But are you kidding?” He stood up from the couch, fists clenched, “I’m agent 4. Or, well, an agent 4. A little bleeding isn’t going to stop me.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Now, you two, what’re your weapons?”

“Hero shot, but if you’ve got a roller, I could use that too.” May answered.

“Blaster.” Ame replied.

“Huh.” Marcus thought aloud, “My ex-girlfriend used a blaster.”

“Right. Sheldon, get these two their new weapons. Then, we’re going down to New Sardine. No prizes for guessing who we’re gonna find there.”

Callie sat on a chair, wiping her brow with a nearby washcloth. “Man, I forgot how intense these things could be.”

“No kidding.” Marie sat down and took a cloth of her own. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s fun, but it’s exhausting.”

“Yeah. I can’t believe we used to do this every month.” Callie laughed to herself, “Good thing we got off the hook to take over for us, huh?”

“No kidding. I think we’ve got maybe an hour before we have to go back on.” Marie looked at a piece of paper on the nearby desk. “Looks like our next song’s a remix of City of Color.” She smiled. “Our debut song.”

“Think we still got it?” Callie asked, grinning and leaning sideways in her chair. 

“We haven’t missed a beat yet, and we’ve been doing this all day. Speaking of which, I think our lunch break is after the next song.”

“Oh, good. I was starting to get kinda hungry.”

Before Marie could reply, her phone started ringing. “Hey, sheldon. What’s up?” 

“Hey, Marie, has, uh, has anything strange happened over there?” “Not really, no. All things considered, it’s been going pretty well. Why do you ask?” “Well…” Sheldon hesitated, as though he was nervous, “...Someone’s appeared in the base.”

Marie sat bolt upright. “Who?”

“I’m not sure, but I don’t think they’re from this universe.”

“Hold up, I thought we were done with multiverse stuff.”

“So did I, but here we are.” Sheldon paused to listen through the door. “Also, it seems Taylor’s back.”

“Oh, for the love of… how’s Marcus doing?”

“I think he’s doing fine enough.”

“That’s good. Do you need our help?”

“I don’t think so. You two stay there for your concert.”

“Thanks. Mind sending us our weapons, though? Just in case.”

“Understood. Anything else?”

“I don’t think so. If something happens, I’ll call you back.”

“Understood.”

Marie hung up the phone. She rubbed her temple. “What happened? Did someone come in from another dimension?” Callie asked. Nearby, the hero roller DX and hero charger DX teleported into the corner of the room.

“Yeah, apparently. Also, Taylor’s back.”

“Really? I’m guessing she wasn’t let out early for good behavior.”

“Doubtful. Sheldon said he’s going to keep me posted, but they should have it handled for now.”

“That’s good.” With no warning, the entire building shook with the sound of an explosion. “What was that?!” Callie screamed, shooting up.

“Come on.” Marie stood up. They grabbed their weapons before sprinting into the hallway. A taller man, wearing a business suit, ran up to them. “Something’s happened.” He tried and almost succeeded at keeping his voice even, “I need to escort you two- why do you have weapons?”

“Long story.” Marie told him, “Get the other security guards; tell them to evacuate the civilians. We’ll neutralize the threat.”

“Understood.” Callie and Marie ran past the guard. “I’ll call Sheldon and tell him to send in backup.” Callie decided, taking her cell phone out of her pocket while running. While he was running to the other end of the hall, the guard sighed under his breath, “Why do they even hire security guards for secret agents, anyway?”

New Sardine was a moderately sized town, named after the far larger and older Sardine city out to the west. Its primary industry was television and filmmaking, and it had a sizable concert venue that could hold several hundreds of concert-goers at a time. By the time the squid sisters sprinted onto the 20-foot tall stage, the entire pavilion was on fire.

Floating 50 feet over the blaze, back turned to them, was a small humanoid figure. Callie and Marie wordlessly nodded to each other, and attached their weapons side-by-side. They fired a single burst of plasma at the humanoid. When it was less than a foot away, the humanoid held up a hand. The orb of plasma froze in midair, surrounded by a bright orange glow.

“Did you really think you could catch me off-guard?” Taylor turned around, swinging her arm out to the side and launching the plasma at the stage. Callie and Marie barely managed to jump out of the way. The blast launched them into the air and onto the hardwood stage.

Callie stood up, her entire body shaking and eyes burning with rage. “Taylor, you monster! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! Causing an explosion in public?!” 

“Oh, please.” Taylor slowly descended onto the stage. “It was an intermission, wasn’t it? Besides, it’s not like I chose to teleport here. It was just a roll of the cosmic dice.” Her hands glowed orange, and she assumed an offensive stance. “So, what’re you gonna do next?”

“That is an excellent question.” Callie grabbed Marie’s arm, dragging her away while screaming, “Run!”

Taylor lowered her arms in surprise. “Huh. Wasn’t expecting that.” She grinned, flying after them with glowing hands. “This might actually be fun!” She started throwing orange light from her hands, causing fires wherever they landed.

“Why are you even going after us?!” Callie yelled, “I thought your thing was with Marcus!”

Taylor descended to the ground in front of them. “Look, there was a cave-in, and I didn’t really think about where I was teleporting. And besides…” She grinned, as the orange radiance traveled from her fists to her legs. “...you two are friends of Marky’s, aren’t you? So if I kill you, that’ll just help my revenge!” She jumped into the air, leaving a crater in the pavement, before somersaulting in midair and diving at Callie with her legs outstretched.

Callie held up her roller to block the girl’s kick. The roller disintegrated, knocking Callie onto the ground. “That… that’s impossible! How are you even doing that?!”

“What can I say? Looks like Majora rubbed off on me, but it needed a year or so to really settle in.” She clenched and unclenched her fist. “But now, I can feel myself getting stronger by the second.”

An unfamiliar voice yelled, “Don’t you dare!” Taylor was tackled to the ground from behind. “What the hell?! Who are you?!”

An octoling girl with short tentacle-hair tied into a ponytail, the same color as Taylor’s, punched her in the face twice before running up to Callie and Marie. “Marie! I’m so glad you’re safe! I turned around and there was this weird light and everything was different and it feels like something’s off and who is that girl and why was she glowing and Marie why do you have your charger you didn’t have your charger when we came here and what’s going on?!”

“I’m sorry, but who are you and why are you talking like you know us?” Callie asked, staring blankly at the girl. She blinked, as though simultaneously surprised and insulted.

“This isn’t the time, you two! It’s me, Lacey!” She gestured to Marie, “I’m May’s girlfriend!”

Callie and Marie glanced at each other. Callie admitted, “We have no idea who that is.”

Taylor stood up, her eyes glowing. “I don’t care who you are! Get in my way, and I’ll annihilate you!”

“How do you not recognize me?!” Lacey screamed, “How- May’s agent 3!”

“What?!” Callie yelled, stepping backwards, “We already have an agent 3!” 

“Okay, bored now. Die please.” Taylor lobbed a bolt of orange energy at the three.

“Get down!” Lacey pushed the other two under the strike, allowing it to set fire to a parked car across the street.

“Uh…” Marie blinked, “Thanks. I guess.” The sound of an engine slowly grew louder, until a bright multicolored truck rammed into Taylor from the side, launching her screaming into a nearby wall.

“Hey, who’s that?” Lacey asked no one in particular.

A yellow-haired inkling poked her head out of a window in the van. “Hey guys! Hope we didn’t keep you waiting- hey who’s that?”

“Lauren! How’d you guys get here so fast?” Marie questioned her.

Lauren opened the driver’s side door and ran to the other side. “We definitely didn’t run any red lights or drive over any speed limits, that’s for sure.”

“Are you kidding?!” Marina yelled, opening the passenger’s side door, “You’re lucky we didn’t crash or kill anyone!”

Pearl’s voice countered from inside, “Well the point is, we’re all still alive for now.” The other agents left the van.

“Okay, but seriously, who is this?” Lauren gestured at the girl in front of Callie and Marie.

“Lace!” May ran over to hug the octoling, barreling into her and twirling her around. “I was so worried about you!” She repeatedly kissed her forehead and cheeks.

Lacey tightened her grip on May, giggling, “I’m fine, May. I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m okay.”

“Right, sorry, sorry.” May set her down. “Guys, this is my wife Lacey!”

“Your wife?” Lauren glanced down, noticing the rings on their fingers. She smiled glowingly. “Congrats! Are you an agent 8?”

“Wha- um, no. Agent 8 is someone else. And what do you mean, an agent 8? Seriously, I’m completely lost to the context here.”

“It’s okay, Lacey.” Aaron assured her, “We’re just in another dimension.”

“Oh.” After a second, her eyes widened. “Wait, another dimension?!”

Taylor flew into the air, her entire body glowing a deep, blinding orange. “So that’s what this is. I’m going to kill every single one of you! I’ll make the entire world pay for what I’ve gone through!” She started throwing dozens of mystical explosives, with no rhyme or reason to where they struck.

“Guys! Scatter!” Lauren yelled. The entire group ran in multiple different directions, splitting up at random.

Marcus looked to the side at Lacey. “So, you’re agent 3’s wife, huh?”

“Well, an agent 3’s wife, apparently.” They ran past a 10-story building. A burst of energy struck the fifth story, causing rubble to fall on top of them.

Callie and Aaron sprinted down the street, until the sound of explosions started to quiet down. Callie doubled over, panting. “Okay, okay…” She looked over at Aaron, as he held his side. “Who are you?”

“Name’s Aaron. I’m a friend of May and Lacey’s. Also agent 4, at least where I’m from.”

Callie rolled her eyes. “Oh, great. And here I thought we were done dealing with the multiverse. So, did I get kidnapped and mind-controlled by the octarians in your timeline too?”

“What?” Aaron cocked his head to the side. “No. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, well, um…” Callie tugged at the collar of her shirt, “That happened to me a couple years back, so Marie had to recruit Marcus to help her rescue me.”

“Oh.” Aaron’s tone was mild and reassuring, “Are you okay?”

Callie nodded, smiling. “Yeah, I’m fine. No lasting trauma. Well, sometimes, but Marie’s always there for me. Thanks for asking, though.”

“No problem.”

Callie turned her head to the side. “Watch out! Taylor!”

“What?” He turned to see Taylor floating in midair.

“About time you two noticed me.” Taylor descended onto the ground. "So, are you ready to fight?"

Aaron and Callie both stood up, brandishing their weapons at Taylor. "Always!" Callie yelled.

Aaron fired a burst of plasma from his blaster. Taylor effortlessly sidestepped it. "Come on, is that the best you can do?"

"Hardly! Aaron, let’s put our weapons together!" "What?! How?!"

"I’ll make sure you don’t live long enough to find out." Taylor remarked, forming an orb of pure energy in the palm of her hand and throwing it at the inklings, a hundred feet away from her.

At the halfway mark, the magic strike was intercepted by a burst of plasma from the side, causing an explosion that knocked all three inklings to the ground. "Ow. The hell-" Another burst of plasma struck Taylor as she stood up, launching her onto the sidewalk.

Pearl detached her dualies from Marie’s charger, while Marina disassembled her brella from Katherine’s dualies. “Guys!” Kat ran over to them. “What’re you doing? You’re supposed to fight Taylor, not just stand there!”

“Sorry.” Aaron stood up, groaning, “She caught us off guard.”

“And here I thought you were an agent.” Marie shook her head disappointedly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You two, focus!” Katherine yelled, “Taylor’s the enemy here!”

“No, no, keep going. I already dropped half a building on Marcus and that other girl a few streets back, so at this point, I’m just tying up some loose ends.”

Katherine fired plasma wildly at Taylor, screaming, “You bit-!” Taylor threw out an orange line of magic that wrapped around Katherine’s neck. She dropped her weapons as Taylor dragged her into the air, the rope tightening around her throat while she desperately kicked and struggled.

“And to think, I used to be scared of you idiots. Always laying low and relying on others to actually fight you for me. But now that I’ve got Majora’s powers, I don’t need David, or anyone else! I’ve surpassed him! And once I kill the New Squidbeak Splatoon, I can show the entire world what I’m capable of!” Taylor laughed, yanking on the rope while Katherine choked and clawed at her throat.

“Kid!” Aaron fired a blast of plasma at the rope, severing it in the middle. He managed to catch Katherine before she hit the pavement.

“Th… thanks.” The mystic rope dissolved from around her throat. “That other girl with Marcus… D’ya think…?”

“Yeah, probably Lacey.” He looked behind him.

Taylor was fighting off the rest of their group, trading magic and plasma in a blitz of sound and light. Aaron and Katherine looked at each other, and nodded.

“Hey guys!” Katherine hollered over to them, “We need you to keep Taylor busy while we take care of something!”

“You got it, Kat!” Pearl jumped off of Marina’s open brella to slice at Taylor, as she dodged backwards in midair. “Oh dang, I missed.”

“Come on, while there’s still time!” Katherine grabbed Aaron’s hand, dragging him away.

Marcus coughed up a cloud of dust and pebbles, his eyes darting around. He was in a small air pocket, surrounded by concrete slabs, able to see only by his green bioluminescence. He noticed a purple glow mixed with his own, and briefly startled at the color until he noticed the girl lying on her back behind him. “Hey…” He attempted to stand up, forced to hunch over, and walked over to the girl.

She was nearly a decade older than him, her leg was pinned under a support beam, and a line of purple ink-blood marred her forehead. Marcus held up the back of her head. “Are you alright?”

“What do you think?” She groaned in pain.

“Okay, yeah, stupid question. Okay, okay, uh… Yeah, sorry, Kat’s usually the one who does the, um, y’know, the first-aid stuff.”

“Okay.” Lacey hissed in pain before looking down at her leg. “Try to look under the beam. See if I’m bleeding.”

“I hate to break it to you, but, well...” He gestured to her forehead.

“Oh, right. So that’s what delirium feels like. It’s actually not so bad.” She weakly lifted her hand to take some of her own ink-blood, and licked it off her fingertips. “Huh. So that’s what I taste like.”

“Gross, but the cut doesn’t look too bad. I just need something to bandage it.” Marcus looked around for something to use. “Come on, come on, what do I have?” After a few seconds, he found himself tugging at his own sleeve. “Well, if it’s all I’ve got…” He yanked the short sleeve from his shirt, and placed it over the cut. “Dammit, it’s not long enough.”

“Okay, you’re going to have to stick it on there. Either that, or just keep pressing it yourself, but I don’t think that’ll work.”

“You’re right.” Marcus briefly scanned the area. “Sorry, but I usually don’t bring tape to fights like this.”

“Oh, great. How could you be so unprepared?” She laughed weakly.

“Uh… how still can you hold your head?”

Lacey narrowed her eyes at Marcus, clearly unamused.

“Well, do you have any ideas?”

“Fair enough.” The octoling leaned back so her head was on the ground, with Marcus’s sleeve still covering her wound.

“Okay.” Marcus sat on the ground, sighing, “I’m not sure I can look under the beam without knocking that bandage off.”

“You should probably try. I need to know if it’s broken or anything. I have lost all feeling down there, you know.”

“Good point.” Marcus knelt down to look under the beam, careful to avoid moving Lacey too much. Her skin around the beam had turned a dark purple, with black edges. “Oh. Okay, I don’t think it’s broken, but it really shouldn’t be that color.” He attempted to move the support beam off of her legs.

Lacey writhed and screamed in agony, the guttural sound filling the small space, her purple ink-blood slowly dripping into her eyes. “Stop! Stop! Please, stop!”

“Okay, okay, it’s okay, I’ll stop!” Marcus released the support beam. “So, that didn’t work.”

“Ob… obviously… not.” Lacey gasped, blinking rapidly, her chest heaving from how hard she was breathing. “Any ideas?”

Marcus looked around. “Not really. There’s some holes in here, so we won’t suffocate. We probably shouldn’t move anything so this whole thing doesn’t collapse on top of us. But even if we shapeshift, we’d still risk destabilizing- hey, that’s it! What’d you say your name was?”

“Lacey.”

“Right. Lace, can you shapeshift?”

“Why- oh, yeah, good idea! Only May’s allowed to call me Lace, but good idea!” She closed her eyes, attempted to steady her breathing, and concentrated on shifting forms. Her skin had barely started to turn purple before her leg flared, causing her to gasp in pain. “Nope. It was a good idea, though. Really. Well, I mean, a good concept, at least.”

“Yeah, but good concept or not, it didn’t work.” Marcus glanced down at his wrist. His communicator had a jagged piece of cement jammed into it. He pulled it out and tossed it aside, wincing at how close it’d been to his skin. “Well, my communicator’s busted, so I can’t call anyone. I could teleport, but we don’t have any beacons near here, so it’d take forever to get back-”

“Wait, teleport? You guys can teleport?”

“Yeah. Here.” Marcus laid down on his side, his arm at an angle so Lacey could see the transporter around his wrist. “We have teleport beacons all over Inkopolis and some other places, like Melani and Innsmouth counties. I’m not really sure how they work; I think it has something to do with frequencies. But they operate differently from the squid beakons we use in turf war-you guys have that stuff in your universe, right? Squid beakons and turf wars?”

“Yeah.” Lacey stopped herself from nodding.

“Okay, so each of our teleport beacons has a different code, so when we activate the transporters, we have to input the code for whichever beacon we want to go to. They’re also much faster and have a longer range than turf war beakons.”

“Cool.” Lacey gave a shaky grin. “Sounds like you guys have way more advanced technology than my place.” She winced, glancing down at her knees. “Can you please keep talking? It’s a distraction.”

“Okay. So, you know that girl out there, trying to blow up the city? She’s actually my ex.”

“Really? How did that happen?”

“We started dating back in high school, but after we graduated, I finally realized she was being controlling, so I broke up with her.”

“Man. You look pretty young to be out of high school. Either you’re some kind of prodigy, or this place has a way different school system from my world. And no offense, kid, but you don’t look like much of a prodigy.”

Marcus chuckled, “None taken, and yeah, I guess some things are different. So, uh, how’s your wife? What was the wedding like?”

Lacey grinned. “It was amazing. Don’t tell May I told you this, but she actually started crying at Aaron’s speech. She was so cute.”

“Congratulations. I hope I can find someone like that. And I hope Lauren and Katherine’s wedding is as nice as yours and May’s.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone.” Lacey assured him, “You’re a pretty nice kid. And I also hope for the best for your friends.”

“Thank you. Hey, by the way, are the squid sisters also agents where you’re from.”

“Yeah, but they think we don’t know. Y’know, your squid sisters look exactly like my squid sisters.”

“Huh. Weird coincidence.”

“Really is. So, um, what’s your name?”

“Marcus. The local agent 4.” He shook Lacey’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, other Aaron. So, agent 8 is agent 3’s girlfriend here?”

Marcus nodded his head, “Yeah. Also, agent 8, Katherine, is my adopted sister.”

“Oh, gotcha. Good for you.” She fell silent, before abruptly gasping in a dull agony.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, okay?” Marcus grabbed Lacey by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. “You’re go-we’re going to be fine.”

Marina fired a burst of electricity into the air, groaning when Taylor effortlessly floated away from it. “Face it, Ida! I’m all-powerful now!” She threw up a glowing hand, causing a section of the road to burst open with an orange glow. The entire group was thrown aside by the disruption.

“Get up!” Marie commanded, using her charger to support herself, “We keep fighting, no matter what!”

“That’s it, just keep fighting. It won’t save you from my wrath!” Taylor dove at the ground, fist outstretched and radiating pure magic. Before she could make impact, something struck her from behind, pushing her onto her back. “Who dares?!” Taylor stood up on the ground.

Lauren and May stood in front of the group. “We dare, Taylor.” Lauren pointed at her, “We dare to kick your face in!” May charged at her, swinging the roller in her hands. 

Taylor effortlessly caught the roller in her hand. “You’re pathetic.” She tossed May into the wall of a nearby apartment complex.

“Is it just me, or does she seem stronger?” Lauren wondered aloud.

“Yeah, maybe. Ow.” May groaned, “Gah. My ba- oh, my back.”

“Of course I’ve gotten stronger! I’ve been getting stronger ever since I lost the mask!” She tossed a sphere of orange magic, forcing May to jump out of the way.

“Guys, any ideas?”

“What if we combine our weapons?” Marie suggested.

“No good; she won’t give us enough time.” Lauren vetoed.

“She’s right. I won’t.”

“You stay out of this, Taylor!”

Taylor launched herself into the air, before rocketing back down and punching the road. A wave of orange light radiated from her fist, upturning the road around her.

“We… we need to retreat, now!” Lauren struggled to her feet, stumbling on the uneven ground. The group sprinted away from Taylor.

She grinned, watching them run below her. “Like a bunch of ants.” She remarked, telekinetically upturning small sections of pavement, “Keep running, little ants. Let’s see how you handle the magnifying glass.”

Aaron and Katherine cleared piles of rubble, until they could clearly see Marcus and Lacey below them, with a support beam pinning the older octoling’s leg to the sidewalk. “Guys!” Marcus blushed, trying to avoid looking directly at Aaron.

“Lacey!” Aaron jumped down to his friend. “Hold on, I’ll get you out.” He attempted to lift one end of the support beam, and found himself unable to move it. “Can… someone… help me out here?”

“What? Oh, uh, right!” Marcus shot up to help his counterpart. With no small amount of effort, they eventually managed to move the support beam off of Lacey’s leg. She gasped in pain and relief, while Katherine helped her stand up.

Lacey’s knees were covered in a disgusting mix of purple ink-blood and black and blue bruises. “Tha-” She yelped, “Thanks, guys.”

“We need to get her to the infirmary.” Katherine decided, “I don’t have any medical supplies on me. Marcus, can I borrow your transporter?”

“Yeah, here.” Marcus tossed the device to Katherine.

She placed it on Lacey’s wrist, entering the code for her while explaining, “I’ll call Sheldon and tell him to treat your legs. The rest of us will stay here and deal with Taylor.”

“Got it.” Lacey disappeared.

“So, that’ll take her to your base?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah. It just disassembled her molecules to reassemble them at our headquarters.” Katherine explained.

Aaron’s hands flew onto his face. “Disassembled her what?!”

“Oh, relax. It’s just a bit tingly the first few times.” Katherine dialed her communicator, “Sheldon, did you get a visitor? Yeah, she’s May’s wife. No, she’s not an agent 8. We were fighting Taylor, and I had to send her to you. Oh, no, just give her some painkillers and- yes, put her in the infirmary! Alright, thanks.” She turned off her device. “Okay, agent 4s. You two ready to get back in the game?”

“I have no idea what’s going on, but yeah. That psycho hurt my friend. The one who got me to change my perspective on octolings in the first place.”

“Yes!” Marcus practically yelped.

“Uh, right.” Kat rolled her eyes, before her communicator started beeping. “Captain? What is it? Right, I’ll tell them.” She turned off her communicator. “Taylor disappeared. We’re retreating back to base. And then Aaron can elaborate on that last part.”

“Got it.” Marcus nodded.

Aaron shrugged agreeably, “Yeah, sure.”

The three turned on their transporters.

The group appeared in the headquarters of the New Squidbeak Splatoon. Aaron looked around, before tapping Callie on the shoulder. “Where’s your infirmary?”

“Down the hall. You can’t miss it.” She pointed in the appropriate direction.

“Thanks.” Aaron ran over to the infirmary. Lacey was lying on a hospital bed, letting Sheldon wrap gauze around her legs. May was standing over her, rubbing comforting strokes into her tentacle-hair.

“Hey, Lacey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Her voice was quiet, simultaneously pained and contented.

Sheldon looked up at Ame from the stool he was standing on. “It shouldn’t take too long to fix her legs. Once I finish applying the bandages, she’ll just have to wait.”

“Okay, thanks.” Lacey scanned the infirmary, “This place looks way different.” 

“Yeah, apparently the old base got destroyed in this timeline.” Aaron explained. “Oh.”

After a few more seconds, Sheldon jumped off the stool. “Okay. Now just stay there for a while.”

“Understood.” Sheldon walked out, leaving the cephalings on their own.

“How are you guys holding up?” Lauren asked as she walked into the infirmary.

“Alright.” Lacey shrugged, “I should be back up in a couple of minutes.”

“Good.” Lauren smiled, sitting down while May bent over to kiss Lacey on the forehead. “You guys mind if we talk for a while? Being fellow agent 3s?”

“Sure.” Aaron noted, “Although I’m actually an agent 4.” He leaned forward to ask Lauren, “But what about that Marcus kid? Isn’t he this world’s agent 4?”

“Yeah, he’s out in the base.” Lauren explained. She gestured to her older counterpart, “So, May, tell us about yourself. What’s it like being agent 3 where you’re from?”

“Lonely, at first. I used to live in Melani county, until I made one single mistake that turned my own best friend against me, so I moved to Inkopolis. After a while, I joined the New Squidbeak Splatoon and helped capture Octavio. You guys all know who that is, right?”

The entire room nodded.

“Right. So, for months, I was living on my own and going out of my way to not make any connections. I figured if I ever got close to anyone, they’d find out what I did in Melani and I’d just be on my own again.” She looked down as Lacey gripped her forearm. She returned the grip.

“What about Callie and Marie? Weren’t you close to them?” Lauren asked, “Or are Callie and Marie not agents 1 and 2 in your dimension?”

“No, they are. We’re just, y’know, not actually friends. Strictly professional.”

Lauren nodded,“Oh. Yeah, I, um, I guess that kind of makes sense. It’s just that I’ve always thought of the group as sort of like a second family. Especially since my girlfriend is also a member.”

“Ah. That sounds nice.”

“Thanks. So, anyway, how’d you meet? Must be a pretty juicy story; a civilian octoling hooking up with agent 3?” Lauren grinned, leaning forward.

“Well, even after I took down Octavio, the octarians still kept stealing the zapfish every once in a while. On one of my missions, I accidentally injured an octoling soldier.” She inhaled, slowly and sharply through her nose, gently rubbing Lacey’s side, before continuing, “I couldn’t just let her die. The octolings were under hypnotism from the octarian higher-ups, not acting of their own free will. I don’t really know what I was thinking at the time, but I brought her home with me.”

“And it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.” Lacey gazed lovingly into her wife’s eyes. “Well, aside from getting gored by spikes and the multiple days’ worth of mind-numbing agony. I could’ve done without that, but still.”

“Yeah. The whole thing was, um, complicated, I think would be the right word for it. I nursed Lacey back to health over time, but I still thought of her as lesser. It wasn’t until I learned her name that I started thinking of her as a friend. She helped me evaluate my choices, and at some point, I helped her get outside the apartment. I let an octoling into Inkopolis, kept her disguised and hidden, showed her around, and I trusted her, when everyone else thought that octolings were either the enemy or went extinct after the great turf war. I thought that if anyone found out, then Lacey and I were both dead. So of course, Aaron here… wait, is it okay if I tell her?”

Aaron glanced away from the group. “Sorry. You can tell her.”

“Thanks. Okay, so, Aaron found out. He despised everything about the octarians, and I still don’t know why. When he found out that Lacey was an octoling, I thought he was going to shoot her right then and there.” She took a breath.

“I just thought they were monsters. All four of my grandparents had siblings who were killed in the great turf war, so that’s how I was raised. Same story with pretty much everyone in my hometown. I’m sorry.”

Lacey turned to look at him. “It’s okay. That’s all in the past, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks for being so forgiving.”

“You’re welcome. May, you wanna keep going, hon?”

“Oh, right. Sure. Okay, so, I told Aaron that Lacey and I were dating, and he disappeared. I thought it was all over for both of us, but over time, he got to know Lacey for my sake.” She smiled, “I can’t even tell you how much that meant to me.”

“Congrats on making it work out.” Lauren shook the older agent 3’s hand. “And now onto something else…” Lauren grinned, rocking side to side mischievously. “Aaron, do you have someone at home?”

Aaron blushed, nodding. “Yeah. There’s this guy named Anthias. I’ve asked him on a date, but he hasn’t answered yet. I’ll let him make the decision on his own time, and hope for the best. He used to hate octolings, but Lacey helped him change, just like me.” The young adult smiled. “I hope he’s alright.”

There was a frantic knock on the door. “Come in!” Lacey yelled.

Marcus walked inside the infirmary, holding his cell phone. “Guys, Whinter just called me from Melani! Taylor’s there, and she’s Tayloring all over the place!”

“Taylor’s a verb now?” Lauren asked, “And more importantly, what’s she doing in Melani?”

Marcus slapped his hands to his thighs. “Probably because it’s where I broke up with her.”

“Good point. Now, what’re we waiting for?” Lauren stood up, “Let’s go already!”

“Yeah, and then we can get back to our world.” Lacey stood up. “Oh, that was quick.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” May asked, gently holding Lacey’s sides..

“I’m fine. Thanks for worrying.” She kissed her wife on the lips.

“Hey, I can’t help it, Lace. You just bring out that side of me.” She playfully lifted the octoling into her arms.

“May, stop! You’re embarrassing me!” She protested between laughs.

“Uh…” Marcus looked over at the wall, “So, are we gonna…”

“Yeah.” May set Lacey down. “We’re ready.”

“Come on, team.” Aaron threw his fist into the air, “We’ve got a teenager to beat senseless!”

“Come on, let’s get the others.” Lauren decided.

Before Marcus could follow the agent 3s out of the infirmary, Aaron stopped him. “Hey, kid, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Oh!” Marcus squeaked, “Y-yeah! Sure! Of course!”

Aaron chuckled. “Man, I knew it.”

“Knew? Knew what? There’s nothing to know.” Marcus stammered, nervously playing with his tentacle-hair.

“Come on, Marcus. I’ve seen you blushing and constantly looking away from me. You have a crush on me, don’t you?”

“Uh…” Marcus’s eyes darted left and right, before his shoulders slumped forward. “Yeah. I guess so. Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s alright, kid. I can’t exactly blame you for falling for me.” He spread his arms out, grinning, before resuming his more serious demeanor. “But seriously, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that I‘m in my 20’s and you’re, what, 14?”

“Hey, I’m 15!” Marcus yelled defensively, his face flushed green.

“Exactly. Besides, we’re from two different universes. You know what they say about long-distance relationships.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Relax.” Aaron patted the top of Marcus’s head. “You’re nice, and you’re a cute kid. I’m sure you’ll find someone better than Taylor.”

Marcus smiled. “Yeah I will, with standards that low. Thanks, though, Aaron.”

Aaron gently punched Marcus on the shoulder. “Hey, us agent 4s have to stick together, right?”

Katherine showed up in the doorway. “You ready, bro? We’ve gotta go fight your abusive ex!”

“Count me in. Try to keep up, will ya Aaron?”

Aaron grinned, “Oh, you’re on, mini-me.”

Whinter vaulted off a bench, barely avoiding the lightning that reduced it to flames. A section of the street lifted out of the ground directly under Clementine, forcing her to jump off and onto the grass next to him. Lauren, May, Marcus, Aaron, Katherine, and Lacey all teleported nearby.

“Hey man!” Clementine ran up to the younger agent 4. “Brought some new friends?”

“Yeah, long story.” He pointed at the newcomers, “To keep it short, Taylor destabilized the dimensional barrier, and they’re a different agent 4, agent 3, and agent 3’s wife. Not an agent 8 though.” 

“Oh.” Whinter shrugged. “Of course.”

“Stop ignoring me!” Taylor screeched, throwing spears of black ice at the group. “Scatter!” Lauren ordered. The group sprinted in a loose semicircle, leaving the foot-long ice spears to embed themselves in the ground, spreading black ice within a radius of a few inches.

Marie tossed a hero charger DX to Clementine, while Callie passed a hero roller DX over to Whinter. Clementine and Marie both fired at Taylor, only for their plasma to dissipate within a few feet of her.

May tossed a weapon over to Aaron. “What kind of hero shot is this?”

“It’s a DX model.” Lauren explained, "May was using a crazy-outdated version. These can shoot plasma."

"They what now?" Aaron startled at the burst of light and energy that shot out of his weapon. “Wow. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.”

“You’re telling me.” May agreed, shooting plasma.

Taylor used discs of orange light to block every strike as she descended upon the agents. “It’s nice to be back in Melani after all these years. Whinter, Clementine, long time no see.”

“Not long enough, if you ask me.” Whinter snarled. Taylor threw her magic discuses so they cut through the pavement like mystic buzzsaws. They weaved through the ground in random paths, forcing the agents to dodge and weave away from them.

“Guys! Let’s try combining our weapons!” Marcus recommended.

“We can do that?” Aaron questioned.

“Yeah, just put your weapon on mine.” Marcus held out his splatling. Aaron briefly hesitated before attaching his hero shot to the side, his eyes widening at the distinct clicking noise. “Don’t you just love that sound? Ready now? We just need to wait-”

“Why are you calling the shots?” Aaron demanded.

“Because I’m the agent 4 of this world! Hey, watch out!” The mystic buzzsaw barreled into them, knocking them onto the ground with their weapons disassembled.

“Ow.” Marcus groaned, “You okay?”

“No.” Aaron groaned. His lower leg was covered in a viscous blue liquid, seeping out of a sizable cut in his knee.

“Damn it!” Marcus ran over to his counterpart, supporting his head and legs in both hands.

“Man, you’re surprisingly strong for someone so scrawny.”

“Wow, thanks. I’m a splatling user.” Marcus raised his voice, “Kat! You’re on med duty!”

“Got it!”

“Watch out!” Aaron pointed behind Marcus, where the mystic saw had turned course towards them less than 2 feet away. “Ah, nuts.” Marcus sprinted towards the saw. He held his splatling sideways with both hands to block its path, digging his heels into the ground. The blade slowed down slightly, gradually digging into the weapon. “Someone! I could use some help here!”

Katherine ran up to them, while Lacey slammed her hero shot DX into the saw alongside Marcus. “Thanks!”

“Don’t talk.” Lacey pushed forward, widening her stance, “Save energy.” Marcus did the same.

Nearby, Katherine started applying disinfectant to Aaron’s leg. “How’re you so good at this?”

“I dunno. I guess it just comes naturally to me. But trust me, I’ve done this before.”

“But you’re a teenager.”

Katherine smiled at Aaron. “A teenager who’s done this plenty of times. Now hold still. This is where the gauze comes in.”

A few dozen feet away, Pearl attached her dualies to either side of Marie’s charger, with Callie’s folded roller and Marina’s opened brella attached to the front. The brella shield spun at blinding speeds, warping the air around it as lightning sparked at the edges. A massive sphere of plasma shot out of the weapons, annihilating the buzzsaw in a single blast.

Marcus and Lacey were launched backwards in the process. "Thanks, girls. Little warning next time?" Marcus called over.

Marie yelled, "Sorry!"

"On the bright side, Aaron should be fine now." Katherine helped them stand up. 

"Thanks." Lacey noted.

"Don't thank me yet; there's still one left!" Katherine pointed at the other saw, slicing through the ground as it barreled towards them. "Okay. You three ready to try this again?" Marcus asked.

“You know it, bro!” Katherine excitedly agreed.

"Sure, why not?" Aaron shrugged.

"Yeah, let's go for it." Lacey decided. They combined their weapons, with Katherine’s dualies attached to the sides of Lacey’s hero shot DX, and Ame’s weapon of the same type attached to the top of Marcus’s splatling. “Wait, shouldn’t we combine them all?”

“We can’t do that with weapons of the same type.” Kat vetoed.

“That’s dumb.”

“Agreed. Now fire!”

The pair of octolings, and the pair of inklings, fired two bursts of plasma at the mystical construct, causing it to shatter out of existence. "That's better." Aaron grinned.

A glowing orange rope appeared around Marcus's neck, yanking him backwards until he was facing Taylor dozens of feet in midair. "I'll cut a deal with you, Marky. You agree to go out with me, and I'll let everyone else go. Let’s just put this whole thing behind us and start over."

Marcus grasped at the construct as it tightened around his throat. “Taylor! How many times do I have to tell you…” His face started to turn blue, and he gasped, “I’m not into this stuff?!”

Taylor grinned. “I know. Just figured I’d make sure.” Bolts of electricity traveled down the orange line into Marcus’s skin, causing him to writhe and scream in agony. He blacked out repeatedly as he grabbed the mystical line connecting him to Taylor. He struggled to maintain his grip, his hands electrocuted and burning, until he was able to yank the glowing rope.

Taylor lost her concentration, allowing the construct to fall off of Marcus's neck. He struggled to stay awake even as he fell through the air, his back facing the pavement far below him. He managed to fire a small amount of ink from his splatling at the ground, and shapeshifted at the last possible second.

Marcus emerged in his humanoid form, staggering and gasping for air, rubbing at his sore and reddened throat.

“Mark!” Lauren ran up to him, before catching herself and standing ramrod-straight. She cleared her throat, “Agent 4. Can you keep going?”

“What, back down from Taylor of all things?” He grinned, despite being nearly hunched over and breathing heavily, “You don’t even have to ask.” He turned around to watch as Taylor slowly descended, until her feet touched the ground.

“Well well well, looks like team bleeding ink is together again at long last.” She clapped, slowly and mockingly. “Gotta say, I never expected our reunion to go like this.”

“Team bleeding ink?” Aaron rolled his eyes, “Seriously?”

“We were 14; it sounded cool at the time.” Whinter argued.

“Dude, that is the most over-the-top edgelord-”

“Save it, Taylor.” Lauren interrupted Aaron. She stepped towards the younger girl. Despite Taylor offhandedly blocking every shot, she continued firing. “As the captain of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, I can’t let you keep going. Turn yourself in, or I won’t hesitate to use force.”

Taylor laughed, “What? You’re going to kill me? A child?”

“Don’t start with me, monster!” Lauren screamed, “You’re an abusive sociopath, going out of your way to hurt everyone around you! I don't care how old you are! You're unforgivable!” She fired a burst of plasma that Taylor caught in the palm of her hand.

Taylor turned the energy in her hands, causing it to grow and spark with red electricity. “So what if I’m unforgivable? With this power, who needs forgiveness?! I’ll kill everyone who ever wronged me!” She tossed the plasma at Lauren. She barely managed to dodge to the side of the shot.

It exploded inches away from her, red sparks striking her in the chest and legs, knocking her hard onto the road. She groaned as she got up to all fours, one eye practically forced shut, her limbs occasionally jerking from the electricity. "C'mon, Yonshi." Lauren stood up, arm wrapped around her torso, "Didn't your parents ever teach you to respect your elders?"

Taylor's eyes glazed over. Dark magic manifested around her fists, trails of electricity sparking up and down her forearms. "Don't you dare mention them! Those monsters abandoned me! I spent years living on my own, my aunt and uncle only showing up for a week once, maybe twice a year if I was lucky! I raised myself! I made myself who I am! Everything I have, I earned myself!” She launched forward, punching Lauren in the stomach hard enough to launch her backwards.

Lauren flew an inch above the ground for a dozen feet, until she slammed into a brick wall hard enough to dent it. She gasped in pain before losing her breath entirely. She fell limply to the ground, with yellow ink-blood pooling around her.

“Lauren!” Katherine ran over to her. She cradled her girlfriend’s unconscious body.  "No, no, please no, this can’t be happening. I can’t lose you again.”

Marcus yelled at Taylor, “So that’s what this is all about?! Your parents weren’t there, so that’s your excuse to be a monster?!”

“Yes!” She levitated dozens of feet above the ground. "Myers! What do you think I’ve been doing here? Just mindless destruction?"

Marcus shrugged, “Yes.”

“Yeah, well, I found something in your bedroom after we met up in New Sardine.” She pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket, allowing it to drop to the ground.

“You were in my room? Do you have any idea how creepy that is, you little pervert?” Marcus picked up the card. “Oh no.”

“Don’t tell me.” Aaron deadpanned, “That’s the card that takes you to alternate dimensions, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Marcus breathed out, “We need to retreat. Now.”

“Taylor! Why are you doing this?!” Clementine yelled, “Why are you trying to destroy the town?”

“How stupid are you? This is the town where my parents abandoned me, where I practically lived on my own for years on end, where I thought I found someone I could trust, only for him to toss me aside like wet trash!”

“Yeah, because you are wet trash!” Marcus confirmed, “You were the one who cheated on me, Taylor! That was your mistake!”

Taylor ignored her ex-boyfriend, instead speaking the incantation, “ Magna bibliotheca ad centrum omnium, aperta tibi ad me! ”

The cracks in the ground glowed a warm blue. A deep, low humming emanated from underground. Mystical energy poured upwards, coalescing in the sky. The entirety of Melani county was pushed upwards by the cracks widening and the thaumaturgic energy pouring out of it, reducing buildings to dust and splitting the county into multiple sections.

Katherine frantically continued wrapping bandages around Lauren’s entire body. She yelled over, “We need to get out of here!”

“No.” Lauren put a hand on her shoulder. She stood up shakily. “It’s too late to retreat.” She watched as Taylor floated through the massive Way overhead. “We need to follow her.”

“Not in your condition.” Marie insisted.

“I’m fine, agent 1!”

“No, she’s agent 2.” Callie corrected her, “I’m agent 1.”

“Whatever!” Lauren took a few steps forward, until her legs stopped shaking. “May, Lacey, Aaron, you three ready to show Taylor what six agents can do?”

“I’m technically not an agent, but I’m in!” Lacey raised her fist.

“Yeah. The sooner we get this over with, the better.” May confirmed.

“Besides, we can’t just let that weirdo run rampant wherever that is.” Aaron gestured to the Way.

Lauren pointed at the other agents. “We’ll go through that Way to stop Taylor from being Taylor. The rest of you, stay behind and help the civilians.”

“Yes, sir.” Callie nodded.

Aaron, Marcus, Lacey, Katherine, Lauren, and May turned to look at the blue Way. “So, how do we get up there?” Lacey wondered aloud.

“We’ll shoot you.” Marie replied casually.

“What the hell, Marie?!”

“No, no, we’re going to launch you in your squid forms. Octo form’s in your and Kat’s cases.” Clementine explained, “Just get on the tips of our chargers, and we’ll launch you into the portal.”

“Yeah, even you can’t miss a target that big.” Marcus grinned.

“Very funny, Myers.”

“I’m kidding, guys.” Marcus assured, “Clementine’s one of the best charger shots I know.”

“But not as good as me though, right?” Marie clarified. After a few seconds of Marcus hesitating, she scoffed, “Biased. Now come on. Let’s do this.”

The six agents ran over to the rest of the group. “Sorry. Our weapons…” Marina gestured to her brella and Pearl’s dualies, “...aren’t really made for long-range shots.”

Pearl shrugged, “Well, at least we blew up that saw-thing.”

Roughly half of the group shifted into their cephalopod forms. Marcus attached himself to Clementine’s charger, Katherine and Aaron placed themselves on either end of Callie’s roller, Lacey and May wrapped her tentacles around Marie’s charger, and Lauren readied herself on the end of Whinter’s roller. “Ready, team?” Marie ordered, “Aim…” The four angled their weapons at the Way. “...Fire!”

The agents found themselves in an aisle between two bookshelves of incalculable heights that stretched into the distance, while the Way filled the aisle behind them. “What is this place?” Aaron craned his neck in a failed attempt to see the top of the bookshelves.

“The Wanderer’s Library.” Marcus explained, “This place has all the information in existence, and since it’s at the center of the multiverse, that also means it’s a hub world that can access any dimension. Whatever Taylor’s trying to do here, we can’t let her damage this place.”

“Uh… yeah… understood.” Lacey scanned around, “So, you guys have been here before?”

“Oh, yeah.” Marcus confirmed, “A couple years ago, we got roped in with this group called the Serpent’s Hand, and one of them gave me the Wanderer’s Library card. And then we got involved in a massive interdimensional battle against an elder god called the Scarlet King, who tried to destroy the multiverse. It was a whole thing.”

“Sounds like a hell of a story. Like, a novel with a chapter count in the 60’s.” Lacey turned to look back at the Way, before facing forward. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

“That’s the spirit.” Lauren gestured away from the gap in reality. “Now come on. Only one way to go, team.” They walked through the aisle.

“So, how exactly do we find Taylor?” Katherine wondered aloud, “It’s not like there’s the usual trail of death and destruction for us to follow. Plus, this is a big place.”

“I’m sure we’ll find-” Marcus was interrupted by an enraged scream in the distance. “See? What’d I tell ya?”

Taylor floated above the floor of the Wanderer’s Library, dozens of books flying around her with their pages turning at blinding speeds, creating a cacophony of paper. “No, no, no! Where is it?!” She screamed in blind rage, manifesting an orange glow around the books that caused them to crumble into dust.

“And what exactly are you looking for?”

She looked down at Marcus, Lauren, and Katherine, with their combined weapons aimed at her.

“Oh, of course. I should’ve figured you three would follow me. Always playing the heroes.” Three bursts of plasma exploded on her back simultaneously, causing her to fall to the ground while yelping in pain and alarm, “What?!”

Lauren grinned. “Who said there were only three of us?”

Aaron, May, and Lacey ran past Taylor to rendezvous with the other three.

“You little…” Taylor stood up, generating red lightning around her hands. “Fine! I’ll just kill you all, and then I’ll figure out how to open a Way out of here!”

“And then what?” Aaron yelled, “You’ll take over the multiverse?”

“What?” Taylor cocked her head to the side, genuinely taken aback. “No, of course not! What, are you stupid or something? I don’t want to control anything! Just imagine dealing with all that paperwork, and the rebellions… If I couldn’t handle being class president, then how exactly could I govern all of existence?!”

Katherine looked over at Marcus. “She was class president?”

“It was not a good election. The choices were either her, or the kid who thought the great turf war was a myth perpetuated by the government to sell more bread loaves.”

Taylor threw a sphere of scarlet lightning at the agents, forcing them to jump out of the way. Marcus fired a blast of plasma the second he landed on the ground, only for Taylor to slap it away with an inkbrush she generated from nonexistence.

“I’ll kill all of you!” She threw out a dozen small, glowing orange knives. They exploded on impact, throwing the agents into the air before they landed on the ground, struggling to breathe or stand up.

“I’ll finally have my revenge on you, Marcus. All of you. I’m going to slaughter every agent 4 in the multiverse!” She held out her hands. Orange ropes extended from her fingertips, one splitting into two at the halfway mark, each wrapping around one of the agents, dragging them into the air with their arms pinned to their sides. They kicked at nothing, while Katherine manipulated one of her dualies despite her arm being restrained. She aimed it straight downwards while keeping her eyes on Taylor. The inkling clenched her fists, tightening the constructs around the group.

Katherine swapped the dualie into dagger mode, yelping in pain at the way she was forced to maneuver her fingers. “Sorry, Taylor.” She threw the dagger upwards by flicking her wrist, severing the rope and allowing her to fall towards Taylor. She raised her arm, tearing the mystical constructs off of herself, and simultaneously grabbing her dagger by the hilt while it rotated upwards at the start of her descent. “...you just couldn’t…” She shifted her other dualie into a second dagger, slicing Marcus and Lauren’s ropes simultaneously. “...make the cut!” She slashed her dagger across Taylor’s face.

While Taylor screamed in pain, Marcus, Lauren, and Katherine fell past her. “Thanks, Kat!” Lauren turned around in midair, firing plasma that severed May, Lacey, and Aaron’s restraints. Taylor glared at them, her half-flayed face dripping with purple ink-blood.

“I don’t know what’s more painful: this cut, or that pun.” A double-helix of electricity, one line orange and the other red, traveled from her hand up the handle of her inkbrush like the serpents of a caduceus, before firing a radiant beam of multicolored light at the three.

“Combo! Now!” Lauren ordered. She effortlessly combined their weapon with the Myers siblings’, firing a massive bolt of plasma from midair. The burst of light and energy tore through the beam fired by Taylor’s inkbrush, until it slammed into her. The other agents fired ink from their weapons at the ground, landing in the puddles in their cephalopod forms.

Taylor’s back struck a shelf, knocking several dozen books loose. “That’s it! If I have to tear this place apart, then so be it!” She raised an open, glowing palm, causing hundreds of small sections of the Wanderer’s Library floor to levitate.

“Now that I’ve got an infinite canvas to work with, let’s see if I can’t find any inspiration!” She telekinetically dragged a book over to herself. “Oh, this looks promising.” She ripped out the pages without touching them, forming them into a wall of paper in front of herself. A grin nearly split her face in half as she scanned the pages. “Hell yeah. Now this I can work with.” She flew over to one of the floating platforms, painting it with her inkbrush.

“What’s she doing?” Aaron wondered aloud.

“Oh no. Taylor got involved with a magic artist from another dimension a couple years back.” Marcus explained, “She picked up some of his magic. Don’t let her draw anything!”

“Got it!” Aaron fired a series of plasma bolts. Taylor swiped her arm, creating a translucent red dome around her platform.

“Okay, new plan.” Lauren decided, “We need to make three weapon combos and aim them at the exact same spot- oh crudcakes!”

Orange energy rose and expanded outwards from Taylor’s platform, until the dome exploded, the shards disappearing as they flew outwards.

The orange glow coalesced into a massive hybrid, consisting of the upper half of a woman, the lower half of a dragon, and a scorpion’s tail, carrying a chain wrapped around her arm. Her skin was a mottled green, her head and feet were covered in nests of venomous serpents, her claws were sharp and curved, and the heads of dozens of predators appeared and disappeared randomly where the two halves connected.

“What is that thing?!” Lacey screamed in pure horror.

“Campe!” Taylor yelled, “Guardian of Tartarus, arise!” Campe roared, the deep and guttural sound causing the bookshelves and platforms to shake, knocking dozens of books into the void between dimensions.

“Okay, good news: Katherine and I fought and killed that thing once.” Marcus explained, “Bad news: we had to use a giant robot and a divine superweapon from another universe, and those were both destroyed a few months ago.”

“Of course.” May groaned.

“Campe.” Taylor floated beside the monster’s head, pointing at Marcus, “Bring him to me. Kill the rest all you want.” Campe lashed her chain dozens of feet in front of herself, wrapping it around Marcus and yanking him towards herself. The chain unwrapped itself, leaving him floating in midair by telekinesis.

“Perfect.” Taylor flew over to Marcus, kicking him in the stomach. She generated a red aura around her hand and a nearby platform, turning it onto its side by curling her fingers inwards, causing Marcus to slam his back into it. She closed the gap between them in less than a second, the platform returning to its position.

Taylor wrapped her hands around Marcus’s neck, striking his head against the floor with every word, “Why…are…you…still…breathing?!”

“You… just don’t get it… do you?” Marcus gasped out. His eyes were swollen shut, half his teeth were knocked out, and deep purple bruises covered his entire body.

“What?” Taylor snarled, “What is there to get?!”

Marcus swallowed, his throat sore from Taylor’s vice grip. “As long as you’re still around…as long as there’s anyone who can threaten my family…” He clenched his fist, arms outstretched past Taylor’s field of view. “...I can’t be bothered to die!” He punched her in the unmarred half of her face, and kneed her in the leg, causing her to release him.

Aaron kicked Taylor from behind, knocking her onto the platform. He helped Marcus stand up, each holding an arm. “Thanks… man.” Marcus trembled.

“I can’t believe you survived that.” Aaron remarked, “Not bad, kid. But seriously, ‘I can’t be bothered to die’?”

Marcus shrugged, causing himself to wince, “Hey, I was improvising.”

“Stop ignoring me!” Taylor swiped her arm in front of herself while on her back, launching the agent 4s into the air. She stood up, psychically hurtling a platform towards them from in front.

Okay, try not to have a heart attack, kid.”

“What?! Why?”

“Because we’ve gotta go over.” Aaron stepped onto the flat side of the platform, still moving in the opposite direction as it. His next step sent him kicking off the edge, landing on the next platform in their path, while the other continued to fly towards Taylor on sheer momentum alone.

“Pathetic.” She waved her hand out in a circle, creating a half sphere in front of herself. The piece of the floor crashed into the barrier, reducing itself to dust while leaving Taylor unharmed. She held out her arm, reshaping the barrier into a scepter that she tossed at Lauren and Katherine.

They each jumped onto a separate platform, while the one they were on exploded in an inferno. Katherine jumped off her platform just as a lash of Campe’s chain reduced it to a cluster of rocks falling in the void. “Okay Katie, I wasn’t there when you guys fought this thing because of my irrational obsession with keeping my sister from knowing I’m an agent! How dangerous is it?!”

“Seriously?!” Katherine gestured between Lauren and Campe, “Look at it! What do you think?!”

“Well, it never hurts to be sure.” Campe swung her chain at Lauren. She jumped off while her platform shattered, leaving her surrounded by shards of rock. She lashed out her arm, grabbed a particularly long and sharp piece, and plunged it into Campe’s eye.

Campe roared in pain, thrashing her head and flapping her wings, as a viscous orange substance poured out of its eye. Eventually, she managed to throw Lauren off. The piece of stone fell out of her eye, allowing it to reform.

Lauren fell towards another platform, where May caught her out of the air. “Wow! You are surprisingly strong.”

“Thanks.” May released her younger counterpart, while Katherine jumped over to them.

“Lauren! What were you thinking? That was insane! And reckless! And also awesome and really brave and resourceful and kinda hot.”

May giggled while Lauren blushed. “Agent 8, now’s really not the time.”

They heard Marcus yelling from elsewhere, “Guys, Campe and Taylor are more than enough on their own! Whatever you do, don’t let her paint another monster!”

“Taylor’s painting another monster.” Lacey pointed at a floating platform surrounded by a red dome.

“Are you kidding me?!” Marcus yelled, “Stop her!”

The agent 4s combined their weapons as they’d done before. Lauren merged her weapon with her girlfriend’s dualies. Lacey stood on a third platform, rapidly looking between the two groups. “They’ve both got hero shots! Why can’t we combine the same weapons?! Why didn’t I bring a slosher?!”

“There! Fire!” Lauren ordered, pointing at a specific area of the dome. Two bursts of plasma converged, destroying the barrier with a massive explosion.

“That doesn’t matter!” Taylor screeched, “Lord of volcanoes, awaken!” An 8-foot tall humanoid rose from the painting, its entire body made of crimson rock with rivers of lava visibly flowing through it like veins.

“And that thing is…?” Lacey wondered aloud.

“Dammit, that’s Cherufe.” Katherine explained, “Don’t even bother; we can’t hurt it without ice. Just avoid it as best you can.”

“Great, something we can’t even hit. Just what we need right now.” Aaron lamented. Cherufe jumped over to Lacey, the closest one to it. Before she could jump over to another platform, Cherufe created a wall of fire around the perimeter.

May screamed in fear and rage, jumping between platforms. Kampe struck each platform, annihilating it just as May jumped off. Aaron watched her as she jumped down to the middle of the flaming circle. “That idiot. I’m gonna go help them.”

“What’re you gonna do?” Katherine asked her.

“I think I’ve got something. Hopefully.” He jumped off the platform.

Lauren turned to her girlfriend. "We need to stop Campe. Ideas?"

"I- I have no idea! Without the KartMech, we never would've survived that thing last time!"

"Yeah, and the fake David could regenerate too, so even if we can hurt it, it won't stick." Lauren pointed at Campe's fully regenerated eye. Campe roared, flying towards them. Lauren and Katherine braced themselves against the gusts of wind created by her wings. White-hot fire traveled up the length of Campe's chain from her hand. She lashed her weapon, aiming directly at the inkling.

“Lauren!” Katherine tackled her, diving off the platform as it exploded. They fell for a few dozen feet until they hit the next platform down, knocking the breath out of them both. “Lorie…” Katherine groaned, standing up, “...you okay?”

“Yeah.” Lauren stood up, watching Campe flying overhead, “Barely.”

Nearby, May landed between Lacey and Cherufe, surrounded by fire. She fired a series of plasma blasts, knocking Cherufe back with the force of each strike. The flames continued to rise, until May started to hyperventilate. Her arms grew tired from holding her weapon. Cherufe jumped into the air, the inside of its open mouth glowing red and orange.

May dropped her weapon for its weight. She pushed her wife behind herself,  and held her arms out in front of the Cherufe. Her eyes were forced shut by the sweat dripping from her forehead. Her knees shook.

Lacey collapsed onto the ground, trying to stand up. Her hands shook as she held her weapon, firing once and missing entirely before dropping it. “May. Thanks for protecting me… even though I’m a soldier…”

“Yeah.” May inhaled sharply, “Still, you look so happy… when you’re just living. Guess I forgot.”

Something slammed into Cherufe the second it reached the zenith of its jump, knocking it onto the edge of the platform. Aaron landed directly in front of the couple, leaning forward to maintain his balance with her roller outstretched in both hands. “You girls okay?” He wiped the sweat from his forehead.

May and Lacey narrowed their eyes at him. “Seriously?” May deadpanned.

“Never mind. Dumb question.” Aaron ran forward, tearing a shard of rock out of the ground and plunging it into Cherufe’s stomach. He jumped away, hyperventilating from the heat.

The fire demon screeched, falling into the nothing between everything. The edges of the platform fell away, taking most of the fire with them. “Alright, one down, two to go.” He turned to the other two. “Okay, shift into your squid and octo forms.” He gasped, “I’ll launch you.” He pointed with a trembling hand at a platform slightly above theirs.

Lacey stood up, looking between her friend and where he was gesturing. “Aaron, are you crazy? What about you?”

“I’ll figure something out.”

“Like what?!” May demanded.

“I’ll… jump somewhere else.”

May shook her head, “There aren’t any platforms close enough for you to jump to, not in your condition. I doubt you can even throw us in your condition.” She gestured at him as he slumped over, panting.

“Okay. Fair. New plan.” Aaron looked around. “May, how are you feeling right now?”

“I’ve been better, I’ve been worse. Why?”

“Can you throw us with your roller and then jump over to us?”

May squinted at the platform, closing one eye to judge its distance. She kicked her legs out to test them. “Yeah, I think I can manage.” A deafening roar grabbed their attention. They turned to see Campe flying towards them, flaming chain in hand. “No time! Get on!”

Aaron and Lacey shifted into their cephalopod forms, attaching themselves to the ends of May’s roller. She flung them each onto the nearby platform above them, where they reverted to humanoid shape.

“May!” Lacey yelled over the edge, “Come on!”

May nodded. She could feel the gusts from Campe’s wings. She sprinted to the opposite side of the platform she was on. The heads on Campe’s waist snarled at the air. May took a running start. The chain descended upon her. Time seemed to slow down. May could feel every bead of sweat, every muscle screaming in agony, the void threatening to draw her in. She reached the edge and jumped. The chain struck the piece of the Library. The resulting explosion propelled May upwards, onto the platform where Lacey and Aaron stood with Marcus.

“May!” Aaron gasped in relief, “Never do something that reckless again!”

“I make no promises.” May grunted as Lacey hugged her, briefly constricting her. “It’s okay, Lace. I’m still here.”

“Guys…” Marcus pointed at Campe, “...we’re not getting anything done with that thing flying around.”

“Well, how do we stop it?!” Aaron yelled.

“Okay…” Marcus thought aloud, “Maybe if we can cut its wings off, it’ll fall into the void.”

“Got it!” Katherine yelled from another platform, where Lauren was also standing. She jumped off the edge, arms raised and daggers outstretched, screaming as she sliced straight through the skin between Campe’s side and left wing.

Campe roared in agony as her wing fell into the endless nothingness. Katherine landed on a platform below her, near an infinite wall of books floating in the Library. She watched Campe fly in a circle with only one wing to keep her aloft, orange liquid bleeding from her side.

Dozens of feet above her, Lauren watched as Campe’s wing slowly started to grow back. “Great. Just great. Anyone got anything sharp? And I mean really sharp?”

“Maybe this could work.” Marcus picked up a cylindrical, pointed rock from the floating ground. “There seem to be a lot of these just lying around here.”

“Yeah, good thinking.” Lauren took the rock and watched as Campe flew in a circle, trying to keep track of her angle. “Agent 4, tell me when to jump.”

“Wait, which agent 4?” Aaron pointed at himself and Marcus.

“Sorry. I was talking to Mark.”

“What? Why do I have to tell you?”

“Because I’ve seen how observant you can be.”

“Yeah, I can notice stuff, but I don’t know anything about angles! I sucked in geography class!”

“You mean geometry, right?” May clarified.

“Yeah, I sucked at that, too. Point is, Lauren, this is a terrible idea.”

“Well, we’d better do something quick.” Kat pointed downwards, where Campe’s severed wing had grown halfway back.

“Dammit.” Lauren watched Campe, leaning forward before jumping down with a loud drawn-out yell. The stone in her hands pierced through the membranous wing, slicing through it as Lauren continued to fall.

Campe fell into the emptiness, her pained scream echoing until it disappeared along with her, swallowed by nonexistence.

“You little…!” Taylor screamed, floating in midair, “I’ll make you pay for wasting my creation!” A red aura appeared on the platform Lauren was hurtling towards, in tandem with Taylor clenching a glowing red fist. She opened her palm, causing the tiny floating island to explode into a cloud of rocks and dust.

Lauren opened her mouth to scream, only for her voice to disappear in the air. She desperately used her arms to shield her face from the rubble. The second she made it through the cloud, she stretched her arms out to frantically claw at the wall of interdimensional literature. After a breathless second, she grabbed the bottom shelf with both hands.

Taylor floated down with her hands surrounded by a swirling blood red light, watching as Lauren hyperventilated while attempting to pull herself up, legs dangling over the void between dimensions. Lauren turned her head, squinting from the effort. “What… do you want from me?!”

“You idiot. You know exactly what I want!” She raised her arms overhead. The demonic energy pooled into her open palms, coalescing into a single constantly shifting and warping sphere.

Panic immediately overtook Lauren. She could barely see or breathe as she screamed, “ Help me! Somebody, please! Help me! Help me!”

Taylor laughed at the sight in front of her. “Just look at you. Agent 3 of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, reduced to a crying and whimpering child, begging and screaming for help against my new power.”

“No! Please, Taylor, don’t do this! You can just go back to prison! We can take your powers away! You can get some help!” Lauren screamed and sobbed, “Please have mercy! I don’t want to die!”

Taylor raised the magic sphere overhead. “You’ve done too much to me, Lauren. I’m going to enjoy listening to you scream, and watching you fall into the void.”

Katherine tackled her from behind, stabbing her in the shoulder and screaming in rage. “What are you doing, you idiot?! You’re gonna get us both killed!” Taylor screamed, inadvertently releasing the magic strike. It flew off course, exploding on the bookshelf a few feet above Lauren.

“I don’t care!” Katherine embedded her dagger in Taylor’s other shoulder, tightening her grip on the hilts. "You tried to kill my brother, and my girlfriend!" She bent her arms so Taylor fell, with her back turned to the hole she'd blasted into the shelf. Taylor screamed in pain, snarling and biting at the empty air between herself and Katherine. "You've murdered, and kidnapped, and made deals with demons just for your own self-gain!" Katherine screamed, "Absolutely unforgivable!"

Lauren watched from below as they crashed into the hole. “Katie!” She slowly gained a foothold on the bookshelf, breathing sharply from the effort. She climbed up the books, starting slow and building speed over time until she clambered into the alcove where the other two girls had fallen into.

Taylor elbowed Lauren in the stomach, causing her to stumble towards the opening. Katherine ripped her daggers out of Taylor’s skin. Taylor collapsed to her hands and knees, gasping loudly, with purple ink-blood pouring out of her wounds and onto the books that comprised the entire floor.

Taylor closed her eyes, the holes in her shoulders filling with skin until they healed completely. She stood up, her entire body shaking, and manifested plate-sized discs of translucent red and orange energy to shield herself. “Okay… I’ll admit… not bad.”

Lauren and Katherine both took a stance between Taylor and the opening of the makeshift cavern. Kat whispered, “You okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s take her down. Now.”

Katherine shifted her daggers back into dualies, attaching them to either side of Lauren’s weapon. They fired bursts of plasma rapid-fire, Taylor effortlessly blocking each of them with her mystical shields. Each shot sent them an inch back from the recoil, until Lauren realized her heel was hanging out of the edge over the infinite gap. “Kat, stop firing!”

Taylor grinned. “Yeah, don’t kill yourselves for me. Where’s the fun in that?” She threw the shields, aiming the serrated edges at their throats. Lauren and Katherine dodged to either side, leaving the shields to fall out of the cavern.

Lauren ran for a few steps before jumping at Taylor, pushing her to the ground made of books. Taylor punched Lauren in the face, effortlessly sending her flying backwards.

Lauren stood up. Her nose was bent at an awkward angle, swollen and bright yellow. “Okay, in hindsight, I probably should’ve just shot her.”

“Ya think?” Katherine fired plasma from her dualies, forcing Taylor to dodge each shot. Her hands glowed a dark red. She caught a bolt of plasma in each hand and tossed them back at Katherine, each covered in supernatural electricity.

Katherine shifted her dualies back into daggers, slashing the air in an attempt to deflect the magic-enhanced plasma. The first exploded on the blade, throwing Katherine into the air. The second struck her in the leg, knocking her backwards until she’d nearly fallen off the edge. She screamed in pain, clutching her knee while Lauren helped her stand up. “I’m… okay.” She grimaced, teeth clenched.

“No the hell you’re not! We’re not getting anywhere like this.”

“You two…!” Taylor lunged at them, screeching, “Just die already!”

Katherine and Lauren shapeshifted into their cephalopod forms, causing Taylor to dive overhead and float in midair outside the cavern. Lauren dropped a teleport beacon next to herself, and turned her communicator on. “Guys, I've got a beacon set up. We need backup, right now!”

A second later, the other five agents teleported next to her and Katherine. "You two okay?" Marcus asked.

“We’re fine. Mostly.” Katherine replied.

Taylor’s entire body glowed a bright red, all eyes and weapons trained on her. She created five copies of herself, two on her left and three on her right.

Lauren, Marcus, Katherine, May, Aaron, and Lacey fired dozens of plasma bolts. Taylor and each of her copies moved in perfect synchronization, creating shields of mystic energy that effortlessly blocked the agents’ strikes.

“It’s time to create some more monsters!” The original Taylor yelled, before they scattered in six directions.

“Guys, we need to stop them now!” Marcus yelled, “Who knows what they could create?”

“You’re right.” Lauren agreed, “Each of us will go after a different Taylor. Just as soon as we figure out how to get out of here.” Lauren craned her head outside, finding the closest platform slightly to the side and a dozen feet above them. “Okay, we should be able to jump up onto that platform, and then keep going from there.” She jumped out of the cavern, grabbing onto a piece of rock jutting out of the side of the platform. She climbed up on top of the platform, waiting until the others had made it next to her.

“Okay, let’s split up now.” Lauren decided, pointing at six different platforms in front of and above them. The other agents nodded, and went their separate directions.

Lauren jumped across a half dozen platforms, until she encountered Taylor. The ground below them was covered in an orange painting resembling the outline of a humanoid bird. “Oh, no, not again.”

“Exactly.” Taylor raised her inkbrush while holding it horizontally in one hand. “Refuted human, arise!” the outline glowed a bright orange, until a sickly gray monstrosity arose from it.

Its limbs were spindly, its oversized body was supported by inhumanly skinny legs, and its arms resembled oversized chicken wings that terminated into two-fingered pseudo-hands. At the end of a long, curving neck sat a bulbous head with holes for ears. Its face consisted of a misshapen nose, oversized circular black eyes with glowing white pupils, and burnt, blackened skin around unnaturally small and sharp teeth frozen into a rictus grin.

"So, you're familiar with this one?" Taylor asked mockingly.

"Yeah. Fought one back at Innsmouth county a couple years back." Lauren fired plasma at the instance of SCP-3199, only for it to effortlessly dodge the attack with deceptive speed. It vomited a puddle of acid that burned a hole straight through the ground, leaving a sizable window into the waiting void. The anomaly jumped across the hole, while Taylor flew away, laughing. She flew over where May was kicking at Taylor.

Taylor blocked the kick with an open palm, turning to throw May across the platform. “Old man, arise!” The drawing on the ground shone orange.

May rolled her eyes, “Oh, come on. What’s an old man going to do?”

“Oh, trust me. According to what I read, this is no ordinary old man.” A humanoid rose from the ground. Its face was covered in a sadistic, inhumanly wide grin, and its entire body consisted of an acidic sludge as black as shadow. The recreated SCP-106 walked towards May.

“Okay, uh, I can still take you!” She fired her weapon, only for the entity to absorb the plasma. Unharmed, unfazed, it laughed. “No!” She recoiled, falling back. Her weapon fell over the edge and into the nonexistent void.

“I think I’ll leave you to it.” Taylor floated away, erecting a dome around the platform to keep May trapped with the humanoid.

Some fifty feet above them, Lacey stood on a platform where Taylor had painted a massive reptilian monster. “You really don’t stand a chance against this one.” Taylor floated in the air, arms spread wide and inkbrush raised aloft like a scepter. “Even I almost feel sorry for you.” After a second’s pause, she continued, “Oh well, moment’s passed. Hard to destroy reptile, arise!”

The horror rose from the ground with a blinding orange light. It vaguely resembled a massive lizard, taking up half of the entire floating island. Its eyes showed nothing but murderous, omnicidal rage. It opened its mouth, exposing hundreds of razor-sharp teeth as it released a deafening roar.

“Have fun, you two!” Taylor flew off of the platform. Lacey aimed her weapon, arm shaking uncontrollably. “Nope nope nope nope so much nope!” She jumped onto the bottom part of a platform, frantically climbing on top. The replicant SCP-682 effortlessly jumped over to her, causing the entire structure to shake as Lacey screamed in horror.

A few hundred feet away, Katherine held a dagger in one hand and a dualie in the other. “Prototype! Arise!” A humanoid creature lunged out of the orange light. Its emaciated body was an unhealthy gray-brown. Its 2-foot neck was unnaturally skinny, with a single eye rolling inside a perfectly spherical head. Its hands and feet ended in razor-sharp claws half a foot long. “Katherine, meet SCP-001. Or, well, an SCP-001 anyway.” Taylor soared above the void outside the multiverse.

“Oh please.” Katherine scoffed, “I could take this guy in my sleep.” She jumped with her arm outstretched, easily decapitating the SCP-001 copy. “See? Now come on, Taylor! Stop hiding behind your monsters, and fight us for real!” She heard a wet sound behind her. “What the…?” Kat blanched at the sight of the demon’s head slowly regrowing from its twig of a neck, its body rising with uncanny, jerking motions like an old, malfunctioning animatronic. “Okay. Maybe I still need to be awake to take this guy.”

On another platform, Aaron was fighting Taylor. "Alien of the 12 stars armada, arise!" Taylor flew off of the platform, leaving Aaron to fire at her, yelling, "Get back here, you little coward!" He turned around as the orange light solidified.

It was ten feet tall, with a gray body and a bulbous, featureless head. Each side had 12 arms moving independently of one another. “Oh. Great. Yeah, that- that’s just- what the hell is that?!”

The soldier of Twelve Stars, bane of the Ortothans, lunged at Aaron, forcing him to jump backwards before jumping in the opposite direction, kicking it in the face. It grabbed his leg and threw him into the middle of the platform.

A hundred feet overhead, Marcus fired a burst of plasma that Taylor blocked by manifesting a shield of mystic energy. “Heart of darkness! Arise!”

The small painting on the floor illuminated. A blackened cow heart appeared, with a scorpion’s tail, four spidery legs, and several tentacles writhing in the air. Marcus used his splatling to block SCP-058’s tentacles, while Taylor’s copies flew into their creator, disappearing and leaving only the original behind.

One of the painted heart’s tentacles wrapped itself around Marcus’s unguarded legs. He looked down, startled for a brief moment. “Wait wha-” He yelped as the undead horror dragged him across the ground for a few seconds, burning his skin, before lifting him into the air upside down.

Taylor floated in midair directly in front of him. “When will you learn, Myers? I’ll always be in control. I’ve always been in control. You’ll never escape me. Now, I’m going to ask you one last time.Will you go out with me again, or do I have to kill you?” 

Marcus narrowed his eyes. “Yonshi… why would anyone ever go out with you?! You just want to control everyone around you! If you’re so powerful now, why don’t you fix your face? Because you’re a narcissist with a victim complex?”

Taylor snarled animalistically, before screaming incomprehensibly. Marcus reached out with one hand, pinching the dried, sunken-in eye in the broken half of Taylor’s face.

Taylor screamed in pain, punching Marcus with a glowing orange fist. The sheer force of the impact knocked him out of SCP-058’s grip, sending him falling through the air for several seconds, until he burst through a sorcerous barrier. He landed on the ground, the breath knocked out of him twice over.

“Kid! Are you okay?!”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just gimme a minute.”

“No time!” May dragged Marcus away from the approaching SCP-106.

“Oh great.” Marcus groaned, “This guy again.”

May turned to Marcus. “You know him?”

“Kinda. He terrorized Inkopolis a couple Halloweens back.” Marcus shrugged. “Except it was mostly Lauren and Katherine who actually dealt with him.”

“Yeah, well, any ideas on how to kill it? I lost my weapon.”

“That depends. Do you have a really strong flashlight?”

May rolled her eyes. “Running away it is. Come on!” Marcus and May jumped across the gap onto another platform, leaving SCP-106 behind them.

“Guys, watch out!” Katherine jumped down from somewhere above them, pursued by SCP-001.

“Oh, just what we need.”

“You fought him too?”

“Not really.” Marcus clarified, “I met a shapeshifter, and then they fought each other. We never fought him ourselves.”

May nodded, “Good to know.”

Katherine fired plasma at SCP-001. “Relax, it doesn’t really seem that tough. Except these things can regenerate, apparently, so the only way we can actually kill them is by dropping them into the black hole down there.”

“So, in other words, bad time to lose my weapon fighting that creepy old acid man.”

Katherine’s eyes widened. “Seriously? You fought that guy? Not bad, Pike.”

“Girls, focus!” Marcus fired a blast of plasma at SCP-001. It jumped over the shot, forcing Marcus to hold up his splatling to block its outstretched claws before it could disembowel him. He pushed the splatling, deep scratches etched into its side, directly onto SCP-001’s stomach. “Get clear!” He warned, before firing an explosion of plasma.

The proximity of the blast sent Marcus flying back, Katherine grabbing his arms before he could fall off. He looked down at the platform half a mile below him. “Thanks. Guess I didn’t think that one through, huh?”

“Ya think?!” Katherine yanked him back onto the piece of the Library floor, where SCP-001 was flailing, its hollow painted body gushing orange liquid.

“Now to finish this!” May tackled the humanoid, using her momentum to push it off of the edge. She screamed the whole time as her arms burned from the effort. SCP-001 fell, screeching and regenerating itself, into the void. “Alright!” May rolled her shoulders, “Who’s next?”

“How about them?” Marcus pointed into the middle distance, where Aaron was fighting a Twelve Stars soldier while both jumped across multiple platforms.

“Wait.” Katherine gestured to another direction, where Lauren was fighting an SCP-3199 replica. Lauren fired her weapon directly into the thing’s neck, preventing it from giving birth. The mistake of a bird raised its leg to claw Lauren in the knee, causing her to collapse, screaming, her lower leg covered in yellow ink-blood. "Lauren!" 

Katherine turned back to the others. "You two can help Aaron if you want, but I've gotta protect my girlfriend!" She jumped off the edge, while the agent 4 of one world and the agent 3 of another went in the other direction.

“Sure you don’t want to help them?” May offered.

Marcus shook his head, keeping pace as they jumped between extradimensional gaps, “We fought a bunch of those bird-things a while back. They’re really not that tough. Besides, Katherine knows way more about first aid than I do.”

“Right.” May nodded. The two jumped over the gap, and kicked the Twelve Star soldier in the face, backflipping to land on either side of Aaron.

“Guys! Mark, any idea what this is?”

“Yeah.” The three rolled off to the side to avoid the thing’s flurry of punches, while the ground where they’d been standing was atomized. Aaron combined his hero shot DX with Marcus’s splatling, firing a single burst at the alien’s back. “It’s an alien called Twelve Stars.” Marcus explained, “They usually fight some other aliens called the Church of the Second Hytoth. We fought an entire army of them right before the first time the multiverse nearly collapsed.”

“Oh, cool, good for you.” Aaron fired a few shots of plasma at the charging Twelve Stars soldier, before pausing. “Wait, the first time?!”

The painted extraterrestrial grabbed Marcus in one of its dozens of hands, and tightened its grip, causing him to scream in pain. He desperately swung his splatling into the thing’s blank face, causing it to release him. Lying on his back, he fired a burst of plasma at the thing’s chest. “Well… first time we know of, anyway.”

“Oh. Oh, okay. That’s… utterly horrifying.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” May agreed, “Sorry, guys, I’m not really sure what I can do here.”

“Alright.” Aaron helped Marcus to his feet. “Come on, kid. Two agent 4s; let’s do it.”

“Yeah. I’ll shift, and you throw me.”

Aaron blinked, “What?”

Marcus shifted into squid form. Aaron picked him up by the tentacle, briefly confused. The Twelve Star abomination took a step towards them. Marcus waited patiently, unable to speak.

Aaron’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh, you want me to throw you!” He tossed Marcus at the alien’s face.

Marcus shifted in midair, slamming his splatling into the thing’s face hard enough to crack its head to the side.

Aaron ran over to him, pivoting on one leg to roundhouse kick the horror in the knee. The agents combined their firearms, launching a blast of plasma directly into the living painting.

It stumbled backwards, while May sprinted towards it. She jumped, dropkicking the entity in the chest. “Guys! Let’s push it off the edge!”

Marcus nodded, firing a series of bursts of plasma at the Twelve Star soldier. It swung its fists to no avail, until Aaron and May each grabbed one of its legs, dragging it onto its back.

Marcus jumped up, splatling raised overhead, and slammed it into the monstrosity’s head. “Now! While it’s stunned!” The three each grabbed an arm, yanking on it, all three screaming in agony from the sheer exertion. The Twelve Star soldier stood up, swatting them over to the edge of the platform. They all stood up, vision groggy.

“Okay, new plan.” May widened her stance, one leg in front of the other, arms outstretched to either side. The alien barreled towards them. “Now!” The agent 4s copied May’s stance. As soon as their opponent was close enough, they bent down below its storm of punches, lifting it by the stomach and moving as a single, coordinated entity, to throw the artificial horror into the abyss.

“Wow.” Aaron stated bluntly, “I really didn’t think that would work.”

“To be honest, neither did I.” May concurred, “I was just improvising and hoping for the best.”

“I saw all the Taylors go back into the real one.” Marcus shuddered, “Sorry, just… thinking about multiple Taylors… Anyway, now that there’s only one again, we should gather the others, take out the rest of her monsters, and take the fight to her.”

“Understood.” May nodded.

Marcus placed a teleport beacon on the ground before dialing his communicator, “Guys, can you get over here? We’re back to only one Taylor, so I figure we ought to regroup.”

“Got it.” Katherine replied, “I’ve got Lauren fixed up, and we took care of bird boy.”

“C’mon, Katie, don’t be so humble.” Lauren piped up, “She stabbed it in the knees, and then she pushed it off the edge while she pulled her daggers out at the same time. It was awesome. And yeah, we’ll be right over.”

Lauren and Katherine appeared on the platform. Marcus grabbed Lauren by the shoulders. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I-no time!” Lauren alerted the group, pointing her weapon at Taylor as she levitated above them.

“Look at us, all together again. Now it’ll be so much easier for me to drop you all into the abyss!” She threw out a massive sphere of red energy, forcing the entire group to jump off the platform just as it was atomized. They jumped from platform to platform, each one reduced to the molecular level as soon as they made contact with it, never giving them a second to breathe or think of anything except survival. “Just hold still already! You know you can’t escape me! You can’t win!”

Eventually, they descended into the cavern of the bookshelf Taylor had created earlier. The entire group collapsed, hyperventilating. “Man. Either Taylor really messed this place up…” Marcus groaned, “...or the Wanderer’s Library is really poorly designed. I mean, why is this shelf so deep?”

“Yeah, that is kinda weird.” Aaron agreed, examining the literary floor. “Maybe these books are all just so insanely big that they need a bookshelf this deep?”

Marcus thought for a moment. “Yeah, that tracks. If any place is going to have books that big, it’s gonna be the extradimensional library.”

“Good for you, solving that mystery.” Taylor remarked, floating into the cavern with her arms spread at her sides, hands sparking with supernatural energy. The six agents stood up.

“Agent 4, make us a Way out of here.” Lauren ordered through gritted teeth, just quiet enough that Taylor couldn’t make out what she was saying, “We’ll keep her distracted.”

“Got it.” Marcus agreed.

Lauren, May, Lacey, Katherine, and Aaron charged Taylor simultaneously. Marcus stayed behind, and turned around. He closed his eyes, trying to drown out the sounds of fighting behind him.

Lauren and Katherine combined their weapons and fired mid-sprint. Taylor blocked it with her bare hand. May used the opening to strike her in the mutilated side of her face with an open palm. Katherine plunged her daggers into her back. Taylor backhanded her away, despite the fact that she was screaming in pain.

Marcus concentrated harder. He visualized the streets of Inkopolis. He could feel the air itself parting in front of him. A radiant blue hole opened in the fabric of reality. “Guys! Get her through!”

Katherine grabbed Taylor by the arm, leaning her entire body to the side to throw her towards the Way.

“No! I’m not going back! I’ll kill you-”

Marcus wrapped one arm around her neck from behind, reaching around with the other to punch her in the stomach. With Taylor momentarily incapacitated, Marcus was able to throw her into the Way. “C’mon! Now!” The agents jumped through the Way after Taylor.

A Way opened directly behind Callie, Marie, Marina, and Pearl. "Hey, they're finally back! It's about t-" Pearl was interrupted by Taylor falling through the gateway between universes, knocking the entire group over.

Taylor frantically extricated herself from the tangle of limbs and bodies, facing towards the Way. Seconds later, the group of six jumped through. The Way closed behind them.

The ten agents stood in a single row together, weapons aimed at Taylor as much as they could.

“Everything go well in Melani?” Marcus asked conversationally.

“Good enough.” Callie assured him, “Whinter and Clementine stayed behind while we came back here. You just caught us patrolling for you guys.”

“Enough talk.” Taylor snarled with glowing fists.

Marcus narrowed his eyes. “Agreed.”

Lauren attached her hero shot DX to the side of his splatling. Katherine placed her dualies on the other side, one above the other. The squid sisters placed their roller and charger on the bottom and top of the splatling.

Taylor levitated over the shot, only for Pearl and Marina to combine their dualies and brella, firing another burst of plasma that intercepted Taylor. She yelped, falling to the ground.

“May, where’s your weapon?” Callie pointed at her empty hands.

“It fell into a bottomless void.”

“Right.” Callie dialed her communicator, “Hey, sheldon, we need another roller.” 

“Understood.” A second roller appeared in Callie’s hands. “Oh. Oh no. No no no no!” She fell under the weight of two rollers. “Ow. My everything.”

“Thanks, agent one!” May grabbed one of the rollers. “You okay?”

“I’m good. Yer…” Callie stood up, shaking her head. “You’re welcome. Now come on, let’s get back in the game!” They both sprinted at Taylor as she grew another magic sphere between her hands.

Before she was ready, Callie and May jumped, slamming their rollers into Taylor simultaneously. She yelped in pain, the concentrated sorcery exploding in her face to send her and both agents flying in three separate directions.

“Guys, come on! We need a finishing strike! Wait. I think I’ve got something. I need you guys to distract her real quick.” Lauren ordered.

Marcus fired his splatling. “Can do!” Taylor blinked out of existence, reappearing almost instantly just slightly to the left of the plasma shot. “She can teleport now?!” Taylor’s hand abruptly manifested around Marcus’s neck, her face in front of his. “Yup.” Marcus choked, “She can teleport now.”

Aaron and Lacey both shot plasma at her side from their weapons. “Guys, brace your shoulders!” Katherine called from behind them.

Aaron turned his head to Lacey. “What does that mean?”

Lacey shrugged ambivalently, “I think it means to brace our shoulders.”

Katherine jumped onto both of the other agents’ shoulders, using them as a springboard to somersault in midair. She fired plasma at Taylor’s head from above, forcing her to drop Marcus to the ground while shielding herself.

At the zenith of her jump, Katherine shifted her dualies into daggers, pointing them downwards to stab through the disc of orange light. A millisecond before she would’ve pierced Taylor’s midsection, Taylor swiped her glowing orange arm in front of herself, throwing Katherine a few feet away from herself.

“Oh.” Aaron remarked, “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Marcus bent his knees to his chest and his arms at his sides, kicking Taylor in the stomach while lying on his back. He flipped onto his stomach, standing up and facing Taylor, punching her in the nose.

“Guys, we’re ready! Get over here!” Lauren called, with multiple different weapons at her feet. The others ran over to her.

“Alright captain, what’s the plan?” Marie deferred to the younger girl’s recently-granted authority.

“Okay, we need to-” The ground in front of them exploded, launching them among a shower of concrete debris.

“Here’s some advice: talk faster!” Pearl yelled, causing everyone to cover their ears.

“Okay, first, ow! And second, all-weapon combo! I’ll keep her busy!” Lauren sprinted towards Taylor, firing a series of plasma bursts rapid-fire. Taylor flew around the shots, exchanging spheres of demonic magic and explosive bursts of pure energy.

With Taylor distracted, the group each took a different weapon.

Pearl attached her hero shot DX to the side of May’s inkbrush. Marcus slotted his splatling into Aaron’s slosher. Katherine placed her dualies on either side of the splatling. Callie and Marie attached their respective roller and charger to either side of Marina’s blaster. The inkbrush was placed on the side of the slosher. The blaster was attached to the bottom of the splatling. Lacey slid the handle of her brella into the splatling.

“ Now! ”

The entire group activated their weapons simultaneously. Massive amounts of plasma pooled into the brella, causing it to rotate at blinding speeds. Lightning surrounded the edges of the brella, the wind picking up speed in a localized gale. An explosion of plasma, as large as any of the agents, launched out of the brella, the sheer recoil sending them sprawling onto their backs.

Taylor noticed the sound behind her. “What?” The plasma exploded onto her back, covering Taylor in a blaze of pure energy. She screeched in pain, flung into the wall of an abandoned one-story house. The sheer impact caused the entire concrete building to collapse. By the time the dust cleared, Taylor could no longer be seen.

The agents spent a few seconds catching their breath, standing in a row facing the ruins. “Welp.” Marcus broke the silence, “She’s dead. And nothing of value was lost.”

“That seems kind of harsh.” May argued, “She was still a living, thinking individual. Do you really have to be that callous?”

“I’m sorry; whose archnemesis are we talking about here? Besides, she tried to kill all of us with no remorse for no reason. Screw her.”

“Yeah, he’s kinda got a point.” Aaron shrugged, “That girl was straight up psychopathic.”

“Alright, well, with that little moral quandary out of the way…” Marie interjected, “...we should get you guys back to your own universe. Unfortunately, we had to dismantle our portal a few months ago because of some interdimensional stuff. You’ll have to use the Wanderer’s Library.”

“That’s my cue.” Marcus picked up a sharp piece of rock off the ground, using it to draw runes on the ground from the card he took out of his pocket. “Magna bibliotheca ad centrum omnium, aperta tibi ad me!”

A Way appeared in the air.

Callie, Marie, Lauren, Marina, Marcus, Pearl, Katherine, May, Lacey, and Aaron stood in front of a Way in an aisle of the Wanderer’s Library. “Oh. Oh man.” Marcus panted, “I’ve never opened a Way to somewhere I’ve never been before. Not easy.”

“Thanks, kid.” May walked forward. She Aaron, and Lacey stood in front of the Way.

“Welp. See you guys next crisis!” Pearl waved at them.

“Next?” Aaron rolled his eyes, “What makes you think there’ll be a next crisis?”

Lauren shrugged, “With us, it’s a safe bet.”

“Oh. Hey, kid.” Aaron gestured to Marcus, “Good luck finding the right partner.”

“Thanks, other me.”

“No problem.” Aaron turned to Lauren, “And you. You’re actually not a bad captain. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve still got a ways to go, but you could probably be worse.”

Lauren smiled. “Glad I have your approval.”

Aaron smiled, walking through the portal.

“Yeah, you guys aren’t half bad.” Lacey clasped her wife’s hand.

“Agreed. I’m not sure what sort of monsters and demons you’ve got running around here, but I think it’s safe to say this world is in good hands.” May kissed Lacey on the lips. They walked through the Way, allowing the Way to close behind them.

“You too!” Lauren waved and called after them, “And congrats on the wedding!”

“Alright, then.” Marie shrugged, “Guess that’s it. Let’s go home, everyone.”

“Yup.” Marcus agreed, preparing another Way. The agents walked through, into their own world, to continue defending it with their lives.

Chapter Text

Two octolings stalked the night streets of Inkopolis’s middle-class district. The full moon shone overhead, allowing them to see clearly even if the streetlights hadn’t been on as they were. They came up to an unassuming house. “Is this the place?” She pointed at the one-story residence. He nodded, “Yes. She’s here.”

Katherine was awoken by the sound of her bedroom door creaking open. “C’mon, Marcus, it’s the middle of the night.” Her eyes widened once she got a better look at the figures in her doorway, one holding a frying pan from the kitchen. “What…” She backed up to the headboard, eyes darting around the room for a weapon or escape route. All she could think to use was the closed window. “What are you two doing here?” She panicked, trying to move to the side without them noticing. “How did you find me?”

The woman laughed quietly, “We’ve been keeping an eye on you for months, Katherine, ever since the new year’s.” Her husband stepped into the room, whispering, “We’re here to finally take you home.”

Katherine scrambled to her window, her voice growing louder until she was screaming, “No! No! No!” She leaned over her drawer, next to Parva’s cage, and tried to open her window. She found it was locked. “Help me!” She tried to unlock her window, only to fumble in her panic. “Marcus, help me!”

Her father lunged towards her, swinging the frying pan into the back of her head. Katherine’s eyes rolled into the back of her head. She slumped over, while Marcus swung his bedroom door open. "Katherine! Who are you?!" The woman turned towards him, glaring daggers. "So you're the inkling our daughter mentioned." She spat, "Her so-called brother." Marcus startled, before balling his fists to the point where his knuckles whitened. “So you’re Kat’s parents?”

“Yes.” Katherine’s father answered, “And we’re taking her home. Just stand down like your species should’ve done a hundred years ago.”

“Go to hell!” Marcus screamed, lunging into the room. Katherine’s mother unsheathed a knife hanging at her waist, slashing it across his shoulder in the same motion. Marcus fell to the ground, writhing and screaming in pain, gripping onto the wound as green ink-blood poured out of it. “Viktor, shouldn’t we kill it?” The woman asked, gesturing to Marcus. She pointedly ignored his blood-curdling screams. Viktor grinned, showing his fangs.

“No, Malecia. It deserves to be left here, to slowly bleed out and die, alone and painfully, after what it did to our family.” He ground his shoe into Marcus’s hand holding his shoulder, causing the pain to surge tenfold. His screaming became uncannily loud and shrill, until the inside of his throat started bleeding from the sheer pressure. His fingers turned numb. His shoulder felt as though it were on fire with all of the agony localized to one spot. He lost all sense of time, until eventually his body shut down. His voice went silent. His frantic struggles were reduced to occasional spasms. He stared vacantly ahead, his eyes frozen wide open with dilated pupils. Viktor kept his shoe motionless on Marcus’s shoulder while he turned to Malecia. “Honey, grab our daughter, will you?”

“Of course, dear.” Malecia picked Katherine up by the forearms, just as the girl began to stir awake. “Wh… Marc… y’okay?” Malecia quietly shushed her, “Just go to sleep, Katherine.” She released Kat’s arm, letting her head strike the wooden post. “Good.” She effortlessly picked Katherine up. “It’s time to go now.” Viktor nodded, walking over Marcus’s broken form. Malecia stepped over his injured shoulder, causing his breathing to briefly stop.

Marcus could barely keep his eyes open. His entire body felt as though it were on fire. He managed to bring himself to place his palm on the floor. Pushed down to stand up, his shoulder screaming in agony. He collapsed to the ground, gasping in pain. “No…” He rasped, “Kat…” He crawled on the ground, trailing green ink-blood on the carpet, until he reached Katherine’s dresser. Marcus gripped onto one of the handles, standing up on shaky legs. He barely managed to grab her communicator before collapsing onto his back. With bent, bleeding fingers, he fumbled with the device before finally managing to call Lauren. “Come on… please…”

“Gah, Mark, it’s three in the morning.” Lauren rubbed her eyes. “This had better be important.” “Lauren… help…” Lauren shot up, dragged into wakefulness by just how broken Marcus’s voice sounded. “Kat…” His voice was quiet and pained, “Kat’s parents… they took her… please… help…” Lauren heard the sound of the communicator falling to the floor. “Mark?” She panicked, yelling into the device, “Marcus?!” She stood up, stumbling in the dark. “No no no no, come on, come on.” She grabbed her transporter off her drawer, frantically tapping the buttons. Between her panic and the dark, she erred the code a few times before finally getting it correct.

Lauren reappeared in the Myers siblings' living room. She yelled, “Marcus!” At no response, she sprinted through the hall into his bedroom. “Mark, where are you?” She turned around to Katherine’s open doorway. She saw her best friend inside, broken and bloody, curled up by Katherine’s bed with a communicator next to him. Lauren audibly gasped at the sight. She sprinted over to him. “Marcus, what happened?” She knelt down to turn him over, supporting his head with one hand and his upper back with the other. His shoulder was covered in green ink-blood, he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, and his entire body trembled. Lauren was startled at how lightweight he felt.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Lauren tried to reassure herself just as much as Marcus, while she carried him into the bathroom. She gently placed him down so he was leaning in front of the sink. “Okay…” She stood up to look in the medicine cabinet. “Bandages, bandages… bandages!” She took a roll of gauze and the bottle of disinfectant next to it. “You’re going to be fine.” She spoke as softly and relaxed as she could given her panic, using a washcloth to apply the disinfectant to Marcus’s wound. He gasped at the pressure and cold of the substance. After a few seconds, the gasps gave way to outright yelps of pain. “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to hurt you, I promise.”

“I…” Marcus finally managed to open his eyes, just as Lauren started to apply the gauze. “...know.” Lauren finished with the bandages. She briefly reached up to pour a paper cup of drinkable blue ink, kneeling down to bring it to Marcus’s lips. “Okay, I need you to talk when you’re ready. What happened to Kat?” Marcus brought his uninjured arm up to drag the cup down. “Her parents…” His voice was noticeably less raspy, “...broke in, and kidnapped her.” “What?!” Lauren shot out of the bathroom, leaving Marcus alone with his thoughts.

Lauren sprinted into the living room, dialing her communicator. “Callie! Callie! Wake up now!” “What is it, Lauren?” Callie asked, slightly groggy. “Get Marie up, now! We need to gather the entire NSS in the base! I don’t give a damn what they’re doing or where!” Callie hesitated for a few long, agonizing seconds before asking, “What happened?”

“Kat’s parents! They kidnapped her and injured Marcus; I just got him bandaged up!” She walked quickly back into the bathroom. Marcus was holding the bandages, and staring down at an angle.

“Okay, I’ll get Marie up, and we’ll call every agent.” “Right. I want the entire New Squidbeak Splatoon on this, including the auxiliary agents.” "Understood." Lauren hung up, satisfied. "Hey, Marcus…" She lifted his head up to see that he'd been crying. "Sorry. I know Kat's better at first-aid stuff than I am."

"It's not that." Marcus clarified, "Kat's my sister. I know she's older than I am, but I still need to protect her, and I couldn't, and now she's with them, and I don't know how to help her, and it's my fault, and-" "Mark." Lauren put a hand on his unbandaged shoulder. "You need to stop right now. Nobody's blaming you for this, because it's not your fault. Now come on." She lifted him to his feet by the arm. "We'd better join up with the others so we can give them an actual briefing." "Right." Marcus ran into his bedroom to grab his transporter.

Katherine's eyes opened involuntarily. She groaned in pain, "My head. What happened?" She gradually realized she was lying on a years-old carpet infested with crumbs and bugs and the like. "Where am I?!" She bolted upright to find her parents, standing over her with their arms at their sides. "No! No, stay away from me!" She frantically moved backwards despite being unable to stand up. "What do you want with me?!” “We just want our daughter back.” Viktor held a small remote-like device by his side. Kat realized she could feel a cold metal brace tight around her neck. “What is this?” She gripped the collar with both hands, desperately trying to pry it off or tear it in half or do anything to regain some control. Viktor barely suppressed a tiny smile as he pressed a button on the remote.

The device around Katherine’s neck sparked. She yelled in pain as her entire body was engulfed in electricity. The volts felt as though they were entering her body itself, causing her to writhe and scream in agony. Her vision alternated between complete red and complete black faster than she could register, until her father mercifully turned the shock collar off. Even then, even after blinking several dozen times in rapid succession, she was hyperventilating with black and red spots in her eyes. She yelped when Malecia yanked her up by the arm. “Do you know why we have to punish you?” Katherine gasped and sputtered until she managed to stumble over the word, “No.”

Malecia held up a remote of her own, with an unreadable facial expression. Kat’s pupils dilated in fear. “N-no, mom, please-” Malecia turned on the collar. Katherine screamed, desperately punching Malecia’s arm with her free hand, her entire body shaking with electric shocks. Her arm fell limp and useless to her side, while Malecia held her up by the other arm as her legs gave out under her. She turned the collar off and released Katherine’s arm, letting her fall to the ground in a barely-conscious heap.

Katherine was in more pain than she could remember. She barely registered her mother kneeling down next to her. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. We both are.” She put her hand on Katherine’s cheek. “But we need to do this to keep you safe.” Kat swallowed. “How…is this…keeping me…safe?” Malecia smiled. “We put this shock collar on you to keep you in line. If you try to pull it off, or run a certain distance away from the remotes, it’ll activate automatically. And, of course…” She held up the remote, “...we can always turn them on manually whenever we need to discipline you.”

Katherine’s ink-blood came to a boil. Despite herself and despite the agony it would inevitably cause her, she clenched her fist and glared at Malecia, hissing, “I’m not some pet. I’m your daughter. You… I can’t even call you my parents. I hate you! I never thought I could hate someone as much as David, or Tartar, let alone my own family, but you both deserve to rot and burn in hell!” Viktor grabbed her by the ponytail from behind, dragging her to her feet. Kat punched him to no effect with her weakened arms. He kneed her in the stomach, causing her to fall to her hands and knees. “You know, honey, the best part about these remotes is that we can set an intensity from 1 to 10.” He put the remote in front of her face, letting her watch as he turned a small black knob.

“This is a one, for if we just need some minor behavioral correction.” The ensuing shock elicited little more than a pained and startled yelp. “Usually we’ll keep it at a five…” He let her watch as he turned the knob all the way in the opposite direction. “...but the automatic activations are set to a ten. In fact, I think that’s exactly what you deserve for being so disrespectful to your own parents.” He turned on the shock collar.

The screams could be heard outside the house.

Despite it being the middle of the night, the entirety of the New Squidbeak Splatoon had gathered in the living room of the headquarters. Lauren stood at the entrance to the kitchen, ignoring all preamble. “Agent 8 has been kidnapped.” She inhaled deeply, attempting to no avail to drown out the shouting. Nate slammed his inkbrush onto the ground. “Quiet!” “That’s my floor, Navy.” “Thank you, Nate. Marina.” Lauren’s eyes widened belatedly. “Wait, is your last name actually Navy?” “All of our last names are words for blue.” Margaret confirmed, “Tyler Teal, Nate Navy, Samantha Cerulean, and I’m Margaret Azure. Why do you think we’re called the blue team?” “I’ll try and unravel all that later.”

Lauren continued, “Just a few minutes ago, Katherine’s parents broke into her and Marcus’s house. They kidnapped her and almost killed Marcus. If he hadn’t been able to call me in time, and if I hadn’t gotten there to help him…” She paused as images flashed in her mind, of her fellow agent slowly bleeding out. “I don’t even want to think about what might’ve happened. Right now, though, we need to figure out where they took her.” She pointed at one of the octolings in the room. “Marina, you were the one who brought Katherine to her parents in the first place, right? Before we knew they were evil? I mean, I wouldn’t know since I wasn’t there. I was dead at the time.”

“Yeah.” Marina stared down, holding her knees and folding in on herself. “Lauren, I’m so sorry. If… if I hadn’t brought her there in the first place, or if I’d done more research-” Lauren held up a hand to cut her off, “Ida, you need to stop blaming yourself. The last captain and Ka-” She cleared her throat, backtracking, “-Agent 8 both spoke highly of you. And personally, I’ve only ever had positive interactions with you.”

Pearl reached up to slap the significantly taller girl’s shoulder, “Yeah, man! Everyone here knows that if you knew what the Kyanshus were actually like, you would’ve thrown those test results down the drain and told Katherine the truth about her family.” “Yeah, well, finding out your relatives are evil can’t exactly be easy.” Pearl swept her other arm across the room, “Then it’s a good thing she’s got a family that actually cares about her. Marcus, Lauren; she could even turn to the two of us.”

“Pearl’s right.” Lauren pointed out, “And besides, instead of arguing and blaming each other, we should probably blame the evil, abusive kidnappers. This whole thing was their fault. Now, getting back on track Marina, do you still know where they are?”

Marina unfolded herself to look straight at Lauren. “Yeah. I know exactly where they are. Unfortunately, we can’t exactly bring all of us.”

“That’s fine.” Ethan leaned forward, “I mean, there’s only two of them, right? We really shouldn’t need the entire agency.”

“Yeah, I uh, I guess I just panicked.” Lauren raised her voice slightly, “Still, I want the rest of you on patrol in case something else happens. Maybe Kat will escape on her own, or maybe her parents will come back, or something else happens.” Marina added, “I think the Kyanshu family might’ve had some level of authority within the octarian army during the great turf war. I’m not sure if they still do, but we should probably keep that in mind.”

“Okay, good input. So Marina will drive myself and agents 1, 2, and 4 to Kat’s bio-parents’ house, where we’ll save her and make sure those monsters can never hurt her again. As for the rest of you…” She gestured around the room, “...the S4 will patrol the square, Whinter, Clementine, Pearl, and Eric will go to the uptown area, and the blue team will watch over the downtown area. Any objections?”

Katherine was unconscious, floating in a plexiglass cylinder filled with an unearthly green liquid. A tube connected her mouth and nostrils to the top of the container, emerging from the top into the ceiling. Multiple additional tubes, made of a black fibrous material, connected her arms to the walls of the tube and the ceiling above it. Her eyes opened. They widened in panic. She attempted to scream, only to find herself silenced by the oxygen tube. The substance she was floating in seemed to absorb all sound, leaving her in nothing but cold, overwhelming silence.

She tried desperately to scream, until her throat grew weak and sore, only for no sound to come out. She was unable to hear her frantic heartbeats, or her eardrums, or anything else other than oppressive nothingness. She attempted to pull the tube off of her mouth, only to find the tubes on her arms prevented her from raising them more than an inch. She managed to look down and find that her legs were similarly restrained. Despite her best efforts, she was wholly unable to shapeshift. Katherine looked around frantically, desperately flailing as much as her restraints would allow her.

She exhaled as heavily as she could in a failed attempt to push the oxygen tube off her mouth, before a semblance of rationale finally got through her panic, reminding her that it was likely the only thing keeping her alive. Any attempts to move were impeded by the liquid and tubes. Unable to think of anything she could use to escape, she gave in to despair. She closed her eyes. She lowered her limbs. She made herself as limp as possible, to the point where she looked unconscious. She lost all sense of time. She felt weightless, unable to see or hear or feel anything around her. All she was left with was her thoughts.

The sound of a fist banging on glass woke Katherine from her pseudo-slumber. The first sound she’d heard in an eternity was excruciatingly deafening. Her eyes flew open. She saw an octoling, much taller than herself with two tentacle-hairs that reached the ground, knocking on the container. Katherine waved her arms through the liquid, attempting to get the other octoling to stop tormenting her eardrums. She apparently understood, backing away from the chamber. She raised her empty hands forward, saying something that Kat perceived as being entirely silent. Katherine leaned her head slightly to the side, and attempted to point at her ear. The external octoling raised her index finger before walking backwards. Kat could only watch as she ran towards the chamber, and kicked it.

Halfway between the plain gray wall and the cylinder, the unknown octoling jumped into a flying dropkick that struck the chamber. The plexiglass shattered at the point of impact, leaving a hole for the enigmatic liquid to pour through. The sheer pressure of the flow caused the rest of the container to shatter. Without the liquid to suspend her, the tubes snapped from Katherine’s weight and dropped her to the ground.

Every sensation was torture. Every sight was too vibrant. Every noise was too loud. Every texture was too solid. Every step of the octoling’s boots as she ran across the hard ground echoed like the aftershocks of a hammer striking her head. Her voice rang, as though she were screaming, “Hey! Are you okay?”

Katherine slammed her hands over her ears, screeching, “No! No, stop yelling! Too loud! It’s too loud!” The other octoling instantly closed her mouth, and gradually put her hands on top of Katherine’s to help cover her ears. She moved slightly backwards, still on her knees, to make sure the smaller girl was at an arm’s distance. Katherine was still hyperventilating, her breaths coming out raspy. The girl whispered, “I am sorry. Is this alright?” Kat barely managed to look at her. “Just breathe. Please.” Despite her near-overwhelming panic, Katherine managed to nod at her.

The octoling inhaled, waited a second, and exhaled.

Katherine took a deep, pained inhale before loudly exhaling at the same time.

They repeated the process, inhaling and exhaling at an even pace, until Katherine could finally speak, “I-I’m okay now.” Her voice came out in a nervous whimper. The stranger slowly took her hands off of Katherine’s ears. Before she could react, Katherine lunged forward to embrace her. “Thank you. You saved my life. I don’t even know your name, but thank you so much.” She buried her face in the woman’s shirt. “You’re welcome. I’m Eight.” She held Katherine’s head. “It be okay. I got you.” Eight looked down at Katherine as she curled up. “What has happened? Who was doing this to you?”

“Yeah. It was my parents.” Eight audibly gasped in surprise. “Y-your parents?! Why they do this to you?” She tightened her grip on Katherine, enveloping her with her arms and tentacle-hairs. “Why?!”

Kat spoke quietly, “They… they hate me. Ever since I was a kid, they’d always beat me for not being tough enough, or make me get my own food or else I’d starve, or… or…” Her tone grew more panicked with every passing word until Eight gently shushed her. “Hey, it, um it be okay. You aren’t having to tell me anything if you no want to, okay? Just be breathing with me now.” “O-o-okay.” Katherine timed her breathing with Eight’s, until she finally had it back under control.

“Good. What’s your name? Is there a safe place for you to be going?”

“Yeah. Name’s Katherine. I live in, uh…” She pointed upwards, “...in Inkopolis.” “Oh, perfect! The promised land! So, are you knowing how to get out of here, or…” Kat raised her head slightly. “I’ve got no idea. How’d you get in here in the first place? And what do you mean, promised land?” Eight shrugged, “It was so weird. My friend Marlin was teaching me the inkling-speak, and then there was a big, bright flash, and now I was here.”

“Oh, I think I see what happened.” Katherine realized, “You’re from another dimension! And apparently one where octolings and inklings have different languages.” “I what now?!” “Yeah. I’m agent 8 from the New Squidbeak Splatoon; we’ve got a ton of experience with this nonsense.”

Eight’s eyes widened. “How do you that name know? The agents are a secret! I’m agent 8! That’s why I’m Eight!”

Kat shrugged, “Maybe in your timeline. But here, I’m agent 8 and the New Squidbeak Splatoon has been public knowledge for about a year and a half now. I don’t know what you’ve got going on in your neck of the multiverse, but trust me, it’d be pretty hard to keep a low profile with everything we’ve been up against recently.”

Eight breathed out, “Wow. I sorry. I not understand much. What’s a multu-multay- that thing?” “It’s complicated. Basically, there’s multiple different timelines for infinite ways the world can go, and sometimes, they intersect. That’s what’s happening now. Somehow, you got teleported from your timeline into mine. And before you ask, I have no idea how either. Sorry.”

“It be okay. I’ll help you.” Eight stood up with Kat. “Thanks. We should probably start walking.” “Right.” They walked down a stainless steel hallway, covered in wiring.

While they were walking, Eight asked, “Are you having a family? Are they as no good as your parents?” “Not at all.” Kat smiled somewhat, “They’re just my bio-family, or at least, they’re all I know of my bio-family. I don’t remember much of anything from before I moved to Inkopolis.”

“Same here. That’s why my name’s Eight. I no recall my old one.”

“I was wondering about that. But anyway, I have an adopted brother, and a girlfriend.” “Congrats!”

Katherine smiled. “Thanks. The agency’s sort of like an extended family; agent 4’s my brother and I’m dating 3.” Eight nodded, “It’s sorta like where I’m being from. Except none of our agents have been adopted. Is there anything you are recalling?”

The two agent 8s continued walking. “Not much. I know my parents sold me to the octarian military when I turned 13.” Katherine stared down. “A… apparently our family can shapeshift a year earlier than most, so, uh… sorry.” “Don’t be sorry.” Eight assured her, “I no can recall my parents much, but I’m thinking they weren’t as bad. What’re agent 4’s parents like?”

Kat looked up, all but beaming. “They’re great! They actually support us, and care about us, and they always try to cheer us up whenever we call them even though they live in another town. By the way, his name is Marcus. Agent 3 is Lauren” “That’s very good. Where I am from, Marlin is being agent 3, and agent 4’s name is being Lucky.”

Katherine remarked, “Lucky, huh? That’s kind of an odd name, or at least here it is. Is that just a normal name where you’re from?”

“I’m not thinking so. She has another name, but using it makes her unhappy, so Marlin and I aren’t using it because we’re wanting her to be happy.”

“That’s nice of you guys. What’re the other agents like in your world?”

Eight smiled. “They’re so nice! Marlin teaches me how to talk like inklings, and they don’t get mad even though I think I might be hard for them to teach. Lucky’s really small and cute, but she’s so good at turf war. She’s kinda like a little sister. Maybe you can be meeting them soon.”

“Sounds great!” Katherine agreed, “It’s been a while since I met the agents of another dimension. And they didn’t have an agent 8. It’s kinda nice to know I have a multiversal counterpart of my own.”

“I don’t get it, but that’s nice to be hearing. I think.”

They spent a few moments in silence, walking down the blank wired hall.

Eventually, Eight asked, “How will I be getting to my world again?”

“Don’t worry. I promise that once we get back to Inkopolis, my brother can help get you back home with a magic interdimensional library card.” Eight laughed, until she noticed the completely unironic expression on Katherine’s face. “Oh, you… you were being serious? You actually have that?”

“Yeah, we got it from an anomalous rights group called the Serpent’s Hand- turns out shapeshifting cephalopod teenagers are considered anomalous in most dimensions where the humans are still around.”

“Wow. That sounds… wow.”

“No kidding.”

They heard the sound of footsteps sprinting down the hallway, multiple shadows approaching from around the corner ten feet ahead. Half a dozen octolings, each of them wearing a pair of sunglasses with a single red dot in one lens, raised their weapons. “Hypnoshades!" Katherine realized, horrified. She felt around for her dualies. “Eight, please tell me you have a weapon.”

The taller octoling blinked. “Sorry. I no have my charger.”

Kat looked at her wrist. "Well, I don’t have my transporter or my communicator, so there’s only one option.” She grabbed Eight’s arm and screamed, “Run!”

The agents sprinted down the hall, constantly dodging the shots of violet ink. “My parents…” Katherine wondered aloud, struggling not to vomit, “How did my parents get access to hypnoshades?! What is this place?! Why was I in that tube?! Just how deep does this all go?” A man’s voice replied, “If you’d just come with us, we could explain everything.”

Katherine’s ink-blood ran cold. She turned a corner to see her parents, standing in the shadows at the end of the hallway. “You!” Eight maneuvered herself in front of Katherine, holding out her arms to the sides. “You’re monsters! How could you be hurting your daughter!”

Malecia stepped into full view, revealing the fanged grin on her face and the remote in her hand. She casually waved off the octolings wearing the hypnoshades. Katherine stepped back with a small gasp, her ink-blood freezing. The other octoling noticed the collar around Katherine’s neck. “Wait. What’s that?” Katherine tugged at the metal brace around her neck.

“A shock collar. Please, run. Now. I can’t get this off, and I won’t be able to help you. Please, just save yourself.”

“No! I Agent Eight! I help need you!” “What?” Eight lunged forward, grabbing Katherine’s shock collar and attempting to yank it off.

Panic overtook Katherine. She could feel the sparks starting to charge from the disruption. “No! Stop! It’s gonna-”

Something snapped.

Pain. Agony.

Katherine was unable to feel anything except searing, blinding, all-consuming pain and suffering.

She could barely register that she heard the horrific, garbled echoes of screeches around her. She felt a painful sting in her throat. At some point, she realized the uncanny sounds were coming from her.

She couldn’t think beyond her base instincts. She could barely move. Her hands found the collar. She screamed through the agony, “Get it off! Get it off! get it off!”

The octoling writhed on the ground. Her sight was blackness. She could taste the metallic flavor of her throat bleeding. Her only instinct was to get it off.

She barely managed to wrap her fingers around the collar, grip tightening, and tried to pull it apart.

She felt the collar digging into her jugular, choking her and bruising her, yet she continued.

Her hands fell. Her muscles stopped working, her entire body paralyzed. She dropped onto her side and curled into herself, screaming in mindless agony.

She lost all thought.

She heard her own wails, echoing within the hall. She trembled as the collar electrocuted her. She sobbed loudly and choked on her own screams.

Her every nerve was consumed in fire. Something grabbed her back and knees. She cried out again.

She felt a sudden weightlessness before she went unconscious.

Eight could only watch helplessly as her younger counterpart writhed and squirmed on the cold metal ground, screaming in unimaginable agony. “Kat!” Eight attempted to run towards her, only for Malecia to yell, “Do you want me to turn it on again?!” Eight stopped dead in her tracks. “No, please, just stop being hurting her. She’s your daughter!”

Viktor stepped forth, grinning and glancing down at Katherine. “Exactly. And that’s why we need to discipline her.”

Eight clenched her fists and walked forwards, screaming in her world’s version of the octarian language. Viktor narrowed his eyes, “Just what are you saying?” “Never mind them, Viktor.” Malecia started down the hall, holding out the remote in plain view. “Let’s just get our daughter back.”

Marina drove the squid sisters’ multicolored van through octo valley, with Lauren in the passenger’s seat and Callie, Marie, and Marcus in the back. The captain leaned forward, constantly swiveling her head to stare, unblinking, out of the front and side windows all but simultaneously. “Are we there yet? Can’t you speed up?”

“Lauren, sir, I promise you that I’m going as fast as I legally can. And no, we’re not there yet.”

“Well why not?! For all we know, my girlfriend could be getting tortured right now!” “Look, I’m sorry, but we don’t have a teleport beacon set up there, so we need to drive! Look, we’re here.” She pulled into a driveway in front of a run-down slum of a house with brown walls. The paint was chipping off, and weeds encroached on most of the small lawn. “I thought you said Kat’s family was powerful in octarian society or something.” Marcus gestured at the building. “Are you sure this is where they live?”

“They’re probably trying to keep a low profile. Besides, they were powerful when Octavio was in charge. Now that he’s on the run, the power dynamics have shifted.” Marina explained. “Who cares? If this is the place, then we need to get in there.” Lauren kicked the door, causing it to fall inwards off its long-rusted hinges. “Wow. I can’t believe that actually worked.”

The group of five walked into the living room. A bug-eaten couch stood in the back, underneath a window that’d been rendered opaque by uncleaned grime. The carpet was stiff, infested with crumbs and the insects they attracted. Lauren pointed to the other rooms in the hovel. “Alright, let’s split up. Agent one, you look in the kitchen. Marina, I want you to stay here and see if there’s anything we’re missing at a glance. Agent 4, you and I are investigating the bedrooms, starting with agent eight’s. Agent two, you’ve got the longest range out of all of us, so you’re on lookout duty.”

“Understood.” Marie walked outside to climb onto the sloped roof, holding her charger in a standby position.

Marcus walked through a thin wooden door into Katherine’s old bedroom. The sound of the door creaking on its hinges echoed through the small house. The bedroom itself had no windows, a small desk in the corner, and a bed next to it. The only thing on the desk was a dim, flickering lamp. The bed was far too small for a teenager to fit on, with crusted bedding. “This place doesn’t look like it’s been cleaned in years.” Marcus squinted, looking around at the room. “Yeah, same goes for the rest of this place. I can’t believe Katherine actually used to live here.” Lauren glanced around, until she noticed something in an unlit corner. “Hey!” She picked up a pile of scrap metal with frayed wires hanging out. “Any idea what this is?”

“Lemme see.” Marcus took the broken device from her outstretched hand. “Okay, so, judging by the coloration, the general shape, and the internal schematics…” Marcus turned the thing in his hands, “...I have absolutely no idea.” He gave the device back to Lauren. “Right. I’ll give it to Marina and maybe she’ll know what it is. See anything else?”

“Uh…” Marcus examined the desk. “There’s a little spot that doesn’t have as much dust on it, so that’s probably where Parva used to be. That’s about it.” He looked up, as though remembering something he'd rather not have. "Ah, nutsacks." "What is it? Did you find something?" "Unfortunately, no. I just remembered I forgot to take my meds because of, well, you know why, and now's usually around the time I take them-"

"You mean these, right?" Lauren took out a pocket-sized plastic bottle of drinkable ink, and a plastic bag containing a dozen small pills. "Oh, yeah, thanks Lauren; you're a lifesaver!" Marcus took the objects from her outstretched hands. "Yeah, I grabbed them while you were getting your transporter, but I wasn't sure how many you're supposed to take, so I just took a handful. Plus, I always try to bring spare drinks with me just in case." "It's two a day." Marcus informed her, putting a couple of them into his mouth. "Got it. And you're only taking two a day, right?" Lauren crossed her arms.

"Okay, first off, I'm pretty sure the flavor was designed specifically with that in mind…" he swallowed the pills with some of the ink, visibly gagging at it. "...and second off, why do you ask?" "Hey, I can't have my best fri- I mean one of my best agents overdosing, right?”

“Don’t worry, I promise you that won’t happen. And, you know you can call me your friend, right? You don’t have to put on this whole official, no nonsense act just because you’re the new captain.”

Lauren sat on the edge of the bed, with a crusted mattress as solid as stone. “I… I know. I’m just trying to make Cuttlefish proud, okay? He trusts me to lead you guys without him, and I’m not sure I can.” “Relax, you’ll be fine. You figured out a plan to save Kat, right? And I know we’ll save her. We just need to find something that’ll help us find where they took her.”

Lauren stood up. “Right. Come on, let’s rendezvous with the others.”

The group of four stood in the living room. “Okay, let’s go over what we’ve learned. Marina, one, did either of you find anything that could be remotely useful?”

“Nope.”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“Great. Just great. Well, here.” Lauren passed the broken device to Marina. “We found that in eight’s room-” “It’s a beacon.” “What?!” Lauren yelled, “Why would Katherine put a beacon here?! Why would she want to come back here, of all places?!”

“Lauren, wait.” Marcus placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her from shaking. “Kat talked to me after the first time she met her parents. She told me she didn’t know whether or not she’d ever come back. I dunno, I guess she thought she owed them something. I managed to convince her she didn't, and she must've forgotten about it.”

"Right. And then her parents found it, and destroyed it without knowing what it was. So, in other words, we’ve got nothing.”

“Pretty much. We’ve got no leads and no idea where Katherine might be.” Marina dropped the broken teleport beacon to the ground.

Lauren’s vision went red and black, her breathing and heart rates accelerating. “No. No no no! This can’t be happening! You’re lying!” She grabbed Marina by the shoulders, shaking her and desperately screaming, “Tell me you’re lying! We- we can’t just lose her! She can’t be gone! There has to be something we can do!” She fell to her knees, closing her eyes painfully tight in an attempt to stop herself from crying. “This can’t be how it ends.”

“Lauren.” Marina lowered herself to eye level with her superior, holding her shoulders tightly. “I promise you, we’re going to find Katherine, even if we have to tear this place apart by the floorboards.”

Callie’s eyes widened in realization. “That’s it! We should tear this place apart by the floorboards!” She slammed her roller into the floor. It passed through the boards, causing it to get stuck at the handle. “Huh. Come on, just… just gotta… gotta pull-” The weapon slipped out of her hands. After a few seconds, they heard it fall onto metal, followed by a woman screaming from below, “Who dropped that?!”

Marcus stared at the broken floor.

Lauren turned around.

Callie blinked at her own hands. “I can’t believe that actually worked. Hey Marie, I found something! Come on, we’re going underground!”

Eight sprinted down the chrome halls, Katherine’s screams her psyche. At some point, she returned to the chamber where she’d first met Katherine. She vaguely heard the sound of someone yelling above her, before a roller dropped onto the floor just inches in front of her. The sound of metal clattering on metal echoed loudly in the chamber. Eight yelled at the crack in the ceiling, “Who dropped that?!” A group of five cephalopods fell through the hole in the ceiling, all of them turning humanoid to land on their feet.

The agents returned to their humanoid forms underneath the house. In front of them stood an octoling girl who dwarfed them in height. “Who the hell are you, and what did you do with Katherine?!” Lauren snapped.

“I did not a thing, I promise!” Eight insisted, nearly crying, “I tried to save her!” “Hold on.” Callie held Lauren’s arms. “I think she’s telling the truth.” “Right. Sorry, I’m just kinda stressed.”

“That’s being fine.” Eight assured them. She looked them over, grinning. “Hey, you must be the agents of this world! Sorry I don’t talk good. In my world, octolings and inklings talk different. But I’m learning.” “Hold up. You’re from another dimension?” Marcus asked, “Are you agent 8? What happened to Katherine?!”

“It’s being such a long story. I’m not knowing how I got here, but I tried to help Katherine getting out of here, but there were octolings wearing the hypnoshades, and then her parents were using a shock collar, and I just had to run. I’m so sorry.”

“A shock collar?!” Lauren screamed. Dozens of footsteps echoed, growing rapidly closer. Lauren shook with rage, unholstering her weapon. “Go to hell!”

A dozen octolings, all wearing hypnoshades, were greeted by a teenage girl wielding a splattershot. The splattershot fired bolts of plasma, forcing the octolings to dodge each strike. “Stop, they’re being mind controlled!” Marina called over. Lauren screamed in blind rage, slamming her weapon into an octoling’s head to knock the device off. The octoling fell over unconscious. “Guys.” Her voice was low and even, “Knock the shades off. Don’t hurt them.”

Marcus ran forward unarmed, dodging shots of purple ink to get closer to the octolings. He ducked under a shot inches in front of an octoling, her arm outstretched. He stood up, arm curving upwards, to uppercut the octoling in the chin. Her hypnoshades were rendered askew, giving Marcus an opening to grab them and throw them aside. “Are you okay?”

The octoling’s eyes rolled into her head, and she fell onto her back. Marcus checked her pulse.

“Good enough.” He turned to see another octoling, already swinging a roller at him. Marcus unfolded the splatling on his back, holding it up in front of himself. The roller collided with the splatling, causing a minor shockwave around them. The motion lifted the octoling’s foot off the ground, allowing Marcus a second’s opportunity to push back with his splatling, throwing the octoling off balance. Marcus yanked the hypnoshades off, shattering them underfoot while the octoling fell unconscious.

Marina used her open brella as a shield against an octoling carrying a slosher. She swung the weapon over the shield, forcing Marina to raise her weapon overhead. “Hey, if this doesn’t work, sorry in advance.” She launched a single bolt of electricity directly into the octoling’s hypnoshades, instantaneously frying the internal wiring. The device fell off, and the octoling collapsed. “You alright?” Marina checked the similarly-aged girl’s pulse. “Oh, thank goodness that actually worked.”

Eight addressed Marina, “Thanks for everything. I know you’re not the same Rena I’m knowing, but you seem just as nice.” “Oh. Thanks.”

Callie and Marie stood back-to-back, constantly rotating so that Marie could fire ink from her charger into the hypnoshades of octolings that were farther away. Callie swung the blunt end of her roller at any that came too close, allowing them to maintain a distance. “That’s three.” Marie pointed out, “How many left?”

“Looks like Marcus got two, and Lauren and Marina took down one each. So with our three that makes fi-” She swung her roller into two octolings’ midsections, knocking them into the wall and shattering their hypnoshades on impact. “Seven. That’s seven.”

Lauren danced around two different octolings until she was between them, jumping to kick them both in the heads simultaneously and knock their hypnoshades off. “3 left!” Nearby, Eight charged forward, tentacles at her side, until she wrapped them around two of the remaining enemy octolings. She continued sprinting forward with them in her grip, until she was close enough to slam them into the last one. “I got them!” “Yeah, that’ll work.” Marcus decided.

“Okay, so, what’s your name? Your actual name, not agent 8?” Marina asked Eight. “My name is Eight.” Marina squinted. “Hold on, did you just say your actual name is Agent Eight?”

Agent Eight rubbed the back of her neck. “Well… yes, but actually no. I know it’s not a normal name, but I haven’t been able to thought of another name. I also can’t be recalling my old one.”

“Okay, that shouldn’t get too confusing if we’ve just got you and Katherine.” Marcus decided, “Because we’re going to rescue Katherine, and that’s final.”

“Alright team, now that that’s over, let’s move” Lauren commanded. “Eight, any idea where Kat’s parents might’ve taken her?”

“Yeah, somewhere that way.” Eight pointed in the direction she’d come from. “I tried to helping her, but her parents shock-collared her. I couldn’t do anything.” “It’s not your fault.” Lauren stepped forward. “Now then, what weapon type do you prefer?”

“Charger, please.” Eight requested.

“Understood.” Lauren continued down the hall with the other agents following her, turning on her communicator. “Sheldon, I need you to teleport a hero charger DX right now.” “Understood, sir.” The weapon appeared in her hands. She held out the charger for Eight.

“How did you do that?” Eight turned the weapon in her hands, as if confirming its existence. “Teleportation tech.” Marina explained, “It’s complicated, but it was recently discovered that when we shapeshift, the extra mass goes to a subdimension that most scientists call inkspace. That’s how our cephalopod forms can be so much smaller without violating the law of conservation of matter. A few years back, around the same time I arrived at Inkopolis actually, it was discovered that distance works differently in inkspace. That’s a lot of quantum jargon that even I don’t fully understand, but over time the New Squidbeak Splatoon was able to invent transporters that let us teleport ourselves and our weapons by disassembling them on the molecular level so the molecules can travel through inkspace at light speed before reassembling at the target destination.”

“Wait. Is that not being dangerous? Disassembling your mall- mah- molleh- those things?” Eight struggled. “Not really. We did a ton of test runs with inanimate objects, starting with a few feet and gradually increasing until we were comfortable warping ourselves from one side of Inkopolis to the other. It’s perfectly safe.” “Okay. I trust you, Marina. Even if you not actually my Marina… or I mean the Marina I know… but you still Marina… wow.” Eight held her forehead, “This make my head hurt.” “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Possibly.” Marcus assured her.

The agents stopped where the hall diverted two ways. “Eight, any idea where to go next?” Lauren asked.

“Sorry.” Kiaria admitted, “I never saw where they went. We have to split up.”

“Okay, we can make this work.” Lauren took a breath and straightened her posture. “Agents one and two, you’re with me. Agent 4, Marina, you’re with Eight.” The rest spoke their agreement.

Hundreds of octarians, most of them octolings, stood in a subterranean amphitheater. An octoling man in his 40’s walked through the violet curtain onto the stage at the back. Rather than unnecessarily wasting space on higher seats in the back, each octarian was supplied with a small screen showing the stage through a single live camera feed.

“My fellow octarians!” His voice was carried by a stand-held microphone, “Three years and 10 months ago, our exalted ruler David Jones Octavio was taken from us by the inkling menace! Since then, corruption has plagued our species! While the octarians have stayed loyal to our superiority, octolings have abandoned our home in droves, seeking what they believe to be new life in the homes of our ancestral enemies! The same creatures who brought this disaster upon us in the first place, these misguided souls now consider to be as family! My own daughter, Katherine Kyanshu, ran away at only 14 years old. When next I saw her, she’d been corrupted to the core! She claimed she’d adopted one inkling as a brother, and another as a girlfriend! I wish I could tell you that such relationships were rare, but more and more of our own brethren are turning to such perversions! Such a relationship between an octoling and inkling is inherently disgusting and unnatural! It pains me to think that my own daughter, a member of the illustrious Kyanshu clan that has served Octavio loyally ever since the great turf war, could turn to such an evil pursuit! Fortunately, however, my wife Malecia and I were able to journey into the heart of enemy territory, rescue our beloved daughter, and save her from the inkling menace’s brainwashing!”

He tapped the microphone, causing the feedback to echo throughout the chamber. Hundreds of octolings covered their ears. Malecia heard the signal and walked through the curtain.

Next to her walked a young woman, 17 years old, with her tentacle-hair tied into a short ponytail. She wore a two-piece leather uniform, and a pair of sunglasses.

The left lens had a glowing red dot in the center. The girl's face betrayed no semblance of emotion. She walked purposefully, deliberately, robotically. After a short minute, she reached the microphone at the front of the stage. With an uncannily calm voice, she spoke.

"Let the second great turf war begin."

By the time they'd turned a dozen corners after splitting up, Marcus, Eight, and Marina had satisfactorily explained their individual histories. "So…" Marcus started, "You guys think we'll find Katherine this way?"

"Hopefully." Marina answered, “I’m sure the others will call us if they find her first.”

Eight turned a corner before the others, and instantly perked up. "Lucky!" She ran over to the wall a few dozen feet away. Marcus looked over at Marina. "I'm not exactly feeling lucky right now. You?"

Marina shrugged. "Maybe she noticed something we didn't. She is taller than the two of us, after all."

Eight knelt in front of an inkling that’d curled up into a ball. “Hey, Lucky. I’m here.” She placed a longer tentacle-hair on the girl’s back. “It’s Eight.” The teenager she called Lucky poked her head out. She had one long cerulean tentacle-hair in a wave style.

“Eight!” She jumped up to embrace the octoling. “I was so worried about you! Where are we? How’d we get here? What about Marlin; where are they?” “I do not know where Marlin is.” Eight admitted, “But I’ve made some new friends!” She guided Lucky’s gaze to the other two.

Lucky’s eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. “OhmygoshisthatMarinaareyouMarinaI’myourbiggestfanIlistentoallyoursongsisPearlheretooshe’smyfavoritemusicianeverImeannotthatyou’renotawesometoobecauseyouarebutPearlisjustamazing…” She finally paused for air. “You’re a cute kid, aren’t you?” Lucky squeaked, her face going red.

“Marina!” Marcus jumped between them, gesturing wildly at Lucky, “Look at her! Are you trying to make her explode from sheer fangirl joy?”

“Right, point taken.” Marina backed away from the two. Marcus turned to Lucky. “Sorry about her. Anyway, she’s not the Marina you know. She’s this world’s Marina. It’s complicated.”

“Wait, world? You mean like another planet?” “Think bigger.” Marcus corrected, “As in, another dimension.”

“I, um, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.” Lucky stared at the ground shamefully. “I’m sorry for being so stupid.” “Hey, it’s okay. You’re not stupid. The multiverse is pretty complicated, but I’ve got a lot of experience with it, so I’ll try and explain as best I can, okay?”

“O-okay.” Lucky slowly backed away from Marcus. Eight wrapped a tentacle-hair around hers and squeezed it reassuringly. Lucky returned the gesture, her posture relaxing.

“Okay, so imagine something happens with two possible outcomes. Like, I don’t know, there’s two movies showing at the same time but it’s the last showing for both of them but you’ve put it off for long enough and you don’t want to wait for them to come out on DVD. You with me so far?”

Lucky shook her head. “I’m not supposed to go to movie theaters. It’s a waste of time and money, it’s unnecessary recreation, and it takes time away from earning money for my parents. And I can’t watch anything on DVD because I’m always too busy helping my parents or watching my little squiblings or playing ranked and turf wars-”

“What’s a squibling?” Marina interjected, “Is that some sort of pet? And how come you have to pay your parents?”

“Uh, squiblings?” Lucky squinted at Marina, as though suspecting the octoling wasn’t all there. “You know, they, um, they have the same parents as you but the older ones are always mean to you and tell your parents when you’re doing something they don’t like, and the younger ones can be annoying sometimes but you still have to take care of them because mom and dad are too busy working and the older ones can’t be bothered with it most of the time?”

“Oh, you mean siblings! That’s what we call them here.” Marcus realized, “So, aside from the concerns that raises about your home life, you mentioned that you play ranked and turf war, right?”

Lucky nodded.

“Alright, then imagine you’ve only got time for one more match in a day. Do you choose turf war, or ranked?”

“Well, usually I’d do ranked because it earns more money and if I don’t earn enough money for my parents every week they’ll make me stay home for good, and I can’t stay home because I need to become a full-time turf war player and Eight and I have things we need to do around Inkopolis. But if it’s tower control, then I’d do turf war because I hate tower control.”

“Uh, right. So, let’s say that it’s not tower control, and you play ranked that day. Except in another dimension, you might decide to play turf war instead. Or in another dimension, tower control might be your favorite mode. In another, you might not play at all. And some universes are completely different from others, where the laws of physics are reversed and everything you know gets turned on its head. There are worlds where the sun broke, where the humans are still around and we don’t exist, and where monsters are everywhere.”

Lucky collapsed to the floor, holding the sides of her neck. “I- huh- what?!” “Yeah, like I said, it’s kind of insanely complicated. Eight told us about you, though. You’re the agent 4 of your world, right? In the New Squidbeak Splatoon?”

Lucky gaped. “You’re not supposed to know about that! The Splatoon is top secret! I can’t even tell my parents about it, and I’m supposed to tell them everything!”

“Well, no surprise there. But in this world, I’m agent 4 and Marina’s an auxiliary agent.” Marcus explained their present circumstances to his junior.

“Oh. Okay. Wow.” Lucky stood up, almost shaking. “Sorry, that’s, uh, that’s just a lot to take in right now.” Without any warning, flaps appeared on her neck, shaking, like gills. Marina and Marcus stepped back, startled. “Woah!” Marcus yelled, “What is that?! How are you doing that?!”

Lucky squeaked, stumbled backwards, and attempted to flatten her neck with both hands. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! It happens whenever I get nervous, or upset, or excited, and I know it’s weird and you must think I’m some sort of freak-” “Hey, Lucky, it’s okay.” Marcus took a few steps closer to her. “It’s kind of cute, actually.”

Lucky’s eyes darted to either side. “You… you think my flaps are cute?” “Yeah, sure. And between you and me, your parents sound like-” “H-hey, maybe we should be still going!” Eight interrupted, “To see Katherine where parents her took!”

“H-hey, y-you okay, Eight? Usually you only mix up your words like that when you’re really upset.”

“Yeah, sorry, just… worried, is all.” Eight gestured to the hallway

“Right. Let’s keep going then.” Marcus started forward, “We were going this way; come on.” He paused, remembering, “Hey, wait a second. Lucky, what’s your weapon?” “Oh, I love the tetra dualies!” “You got it.”

Marcus turned on his communicator, "Hey, Sheldon, something just came up. You mind sending us a pair of dualies?"

"Of course, agent- wait. Did you say dualies? That's agent 8's weapon! Did you find her? Is she safe?"

"Uh, not exactly. You see-"

"Wait, let me guess: you found someone from another dimension who's willing to help and their weapon of choice happens to be dualies."

"Weird that our lives have gotten to the point where that's the first obvious alternative, but yeah that's exactly it."

"In that case, I'm sending them right now."

"Thanks, Shelly."

"Always happy to help, agent four, but please don't call me Shelly."

"Uh-huh." Marcus hung up on the horseshoe crab. He held his arm out, and a pair of dualies appeared in his open hand. "How did you do that?!" Lucky screamed, backing into the wall, "Are you magic?!"

Marcus chuckled to himself. "Not exactly. It's just teleportation. Now, think fast!" He lobbed the dualies at Lucky, briefly startling her before she grabbed them out of the air with both hands. "Not bad. Now come on, let's actually keep going this time."

Chapter Text

Eventually, Marcus, Marina, Eight, and Lucky approached a metal door with a combination lock. “Okay.” Marina knelt down to examine the lock. “We need to examine all possible combos.” She knocked on the door. "Sounds like it might be too tough for a plasma blast."

"Let me try something." Lucky took the lock in her hands. "6…1…9…"

"Well, what makes you think that'll-" Marina paused as the door swung open. "How did you do that?" Marcus raised his eyebrows. Lucky shrugged, smiling, "Lucky guess."

“Hey, guys, I think we've found something." Callie gestured at a metal door with a combination lock. "Alright, stand back. I got this." She backed up past her cousin and Lauren, as they backed up against a wall. Once she was ten feet away from the door, Callie started running forward, unfolding the roller on her back. She swung it into the door. The metal dented slightly, and the roller started vibrating in Callie's grip. "Oookaaayyyy wwweee-" Marie held her leg out, letting her cousin fall on her back.

"Okay, we need a new plan." Callie finished, while Marie helped her up.

"Right." Lauren decided, "Let’s combine our weapons." Marie attached her charger to the front of Lauren’s weapon. Callie folded her roller, attaching it to the charger’s side. "Okay, let's aim them at the same spot where you already weakened it." "Good call, and you're welcome." They fired a burst of plasma, blasting a massive hole into the door.

An inkling spontaneously appeared in a small room. There were no windows in the gray metal walls. A desk stood at the back, in front of a metal chair, with a long drawer at the bottom of the table and three larger drawers on each side. “What happened?! Eight?! Where are you?” At the back of the room, next to the two corners, were metal doors. One swung open, and a hole was blown into the other.

Within seconds, the room was filled with seven agents. “Marlin!” Eight ran over, embracing the young inkling with both her arms and longest tentacle-hairs, followed closely by Lucky. “Eight! Hey, good to see you!” They managed to extricate themselves from the octoling, reaching down to rub Lucky’s tentacle-hair. “Didn’t expect to see you here, Luck-luck.”

"Marlin!" Lucky protested, despite making no effort to move away, "Don't call me Luck-luck!" Marlin chuckled, "Luck-luck."

“Marlin, huh?” Lauren turned to Eight, “So, they’re the agent 3 of your place?”

“Yeah!” Eight explained, “Marlin, this be Lauren. She be the agent 3 of this world.” Lucky added, “Apparently we’re in another dimension.”

“Huh. I mean, I guess I disappeared, and I guess that makes sense, but…” Marlin gazed around, “Wow. So, are you guys…” They gestured to Callie, Marie, and Marina. “Sorry, we don’t know you.” Marie confirmed, “But if you’re an agent 3, then you’re with us.”

“You know what? Sure. Anything for fellow agents.” Marlin walked over to the desk. “Maybe…” They tried to open the center drawer. “Dammit, locked. Hey, can anyone help me find the key? I think there might be something in this drawer.” “Maybe. Better yet, why don’t we make our own key?” Lauren took a small copper pin out of her pocket, and used it to pick open the lock to the middle drawer. “That’ll work.” Marlin opened the drawer, “But why did you have that?”

Their counterpart shrugged, “Never hurts to be prepared. Alright, let’s see…” She took two bundles of paper, stapled together into booklets, out of the desk. “Looks like some sort of schematics. Here.” She handed one booklet over to Marlin. They turned it in their hands. “Okay, I don’t actually understand most of this, but if I didn’t know any better I’d say they were trying to build some sort of giant robot.”

“Yeah, and this one looks kinda like a belt, except there’s also a lot of special cans involved too.” She and Marlin handed over the schematics. “Marina, what do you make of these?”

“Well, they’re definitely blueprints. And if the Kyanshus ever finished them, it could be a disaster. Captain Laker, mind if I go to the base and start working on these with Sheldon?”

“Anything to bolster our arsenal at this point.” Lauren confirmed. Marina nodded, teleporting out of the chamber. “How… how’d she…?” Marlin stammered. Lauren shrugged, “Teleportation tech.”

“Y-y-you’re the captain?!” Lucky pointed at her, “What- what happened to-” Lauren held up her hand. “Don’t worry, Cuttlefish is fine. He just had to retire because he’s insanely old.” “Oh. Um, okay, then. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. And you must be Lucky.” Lauren shook the kid’s hand. “Eight told us about you.”

“What did she say? Anything good?” Lauren raised an eyebrow, “Nothing but good. So, you wanna help us with a rescue mission?”

Lucky nodded, “Yeah! If you need help, then I’ll help you! It’s my job as an agent to protect everyone! Or something like that.”

“That’s the spirit.” Marcus elbowed her shoulder. Lauren explained the circumstances regarding her girlfriend’s abduction to Marlin. “Now, Marlin, what’s your favorite weapon class?”

“Hero shot. Definitely the hero shot.” They answered. “Right.” Lauren pressed a series of buttons on her communicator. “Hey, Sheldon, we found another out-of-towner. I need a hero shot DX and three transporters, now. Yeah, you’re right, I probably should’ve thought of that last part sooner. Alright, thanks man.” She hung up, as the requested devices teleported into her hands. She tossed them for Marlin, Lucky, and Eight to catch out of the air.

Marlin examined their new weapon, firing an experimental burst of plasma into the floor. “Woah. This dimension must have way more advanced tech than where I’m from.” “Well, that and we also had some magic help designing our new weapons from another other dimension. Now, is everyone ready to find out what’s behind door number three?” She gestured to the door at the back of the room.

The rest of the group nodded. Lauren tried the door, and found to her surprise that it was unlocked. Past the door was a backstage area, guarded by a lone octoling soldier. Lauren ran over while she was raising a handheld radio to her face, firing a burst of plasma to knock the device out of her hands, before jumping to kick the hypnoshades off of her face. “Coast’s clear.” The group of eight walked across the stone floor, until Marcus opened the curtains a few inches. At the front of the stage, overlooking a crowd of octarians, were three octolings. Marcus squinted at the shortest of the three. Lauren silently mouthed, “Katie?”

They heard Katherine speak, in an unnaturally calm tone, "Let the second great turf war begin."

Callie’s eyes widened, “She’s wearing hypnoshades!” She sprinted onstage, roller brandished. “Well, so much for subtlety.” Marie remarked, following her with the other agents.

Viktor turned around with his wife and daughter, screaming, “Interlopers! Kill them!” Malecia pulled the microphone stand towards herself, revealing a lever that abruptly lowered the stage into the ground. Everyone on the stage was thrown off-balance by the sudden movement, with Malecia and Viktor recovering the fastest, owing to their own advance warning. “Katherine.” Malecia pointed directly at Marcus, “Kill that inkling.” Katherine unholstered the dualies at her sides. “Yes, mother.”

After losing sight of his fellow agents, Marcus found Katherine firing purple ink at him from a pair of dualies.He managed to hold up his splatling with both hands as a shield, before swinging it to knock the dualies out of her arms, knocking her backwards and onto the ground. “Kat, I’m so sorry. I didn’t have a choice-” Katherine sprung up, punching him in the face.

Eight ran forward, firing her charger into the less sapient octarians, until she approached Viktor and Malecia. “You moron!” Malecia screamed in rage, “How dare you betray your fellow octarians?! You should surrender yourselves and beg for forgiveness-” “Shut up.” Eight stated bluntly, firing at the older woman. Malecia dodged the shot.

“I betray nothing!” Eight fired again, the plasma traveling only a few feet for the lack of charge. “You hurt your own daughter!” She jumped at Viktor, only for him to jump back before she could slam her charger into his head.

“I think it’s time to use those prototypes.” Viktor reached behind himself and pulled out a long, rectangular strip of metal. “Where were you keeping that?” Eight wondered aloud.

Viktor ignored her in favor of wrapping the metal around his waist, revealing it to be a belt with the end attached to the buckle magnetically. The buckle consisted of a 9-button number pad. “Now, traitor, bear witness to the next evolution in octarian technology.” He pressed three of the buttons, accompanied by a deep, robotic voice.

0-9-6: Bomb Launcher

Lines of violet energy traveled up Viktor’s body on either side of his neck, coalescing at his shoulders into a curved device resembling a bomb launcher special, except with two firing ports on either shoulder. The launcher stretched past his shoulders, with two levers hanging below the ends at arms’ reach. Viktor pulled on the levers, throwing a variety of splat bombs, burst bombs, suction bombs, and autobombs at Eight. She spun her charger in both hands to knock multiple explosives away from herself, until a burst bomb struck her in the face. She collapsed to the ground, clasping at her face and yelling, “It burns! Why’s it burn?!” She heard a second robotic voice off to the side.

9-0-9: Ink Armor

“What?” She stood up to find that Malecia was wearing an identical belt to her husband’s, and that both of them were glowing purple. She loudly swore, as a splat bomb exploded at her feet to throw her off-balance.

Lauren jump-kicked a pair of hypnoshades off of an octoling’s face, firing three bursts of plasma from midair into three octotroopers before landing on her feet and empty hand. Before she could stand up, purple ink struck her in the side from a blaster. Lauren gasped and shot up in pain, grasping at her side. The ink burned. She switched her weapon out of plasma mode, firing yellow ink to knock the blaster wielder’s hypnoshades off of him before switching back. “Damn that smarts.”

“Need some help?” Marlin asked, firing their weapon into as many octarians as they could. They grabbed an octoling’s roller mid-swing, using her leverage to throw her onto the ground where her hypnoshades audibly shattered on impact. “She’ll be fine.”

“Thanks. Word of advice…” Lauren stood with her back to Marlin’s. “...don’t get hit.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.” They fired their hero shots into the crowd of octarians, until Marlin broke the loose formation in favor of roundhouse-kicking an octoling’s hypnoshades off. They fired their hero shot DX into an octotrooper, before throwing it overhead so that it landed behind them in their outstretched other hand, where they fired it at an octocopter in a single, fluid motion.

They both dodged continuous fire from the octarians, until Lauren backflipped over a splatling shot. Just below her head was a tiny, barely noticeable puddle of purple ink. An octoling burst out of the puddle, swiping an inkbrush directly at her.

Callie folded her roller, attaching it at the sides to Marie’s charger. A burst of plasma shot out of the combined weapons, taking out a small crowd of lesser octarians. They detached their weapons, allowing Marie to fire a burst of plasma from her charger into an octoball. "Man, haven't seen one of those in a while." "That's great, Mar." Callie was using her roller to block another being wielded by an octoling, gradually pushing her back.

Marie switched her charger to ink mode, shot the hypnoshades off the octoling, and switched back to plasma mode to down an octocopter. "You're welcome." "Thanks. I had him, but thanks."

"Yeah, sure you did." Marie punched her cousin on the shoulder, before they both heard screaming. Lucky ran past them, spinning and firing wildly on either side of herself. "What did I get myself into?! Hi Callie! Why did I agree to this?! Hi Marie!"

"Hey, kid, don't panic." Marie grabbed Lucky's shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. “Why shouldn’t I panic? There’s octoslobs everywhere!” Marie nodded, “Yes, and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t panic. Understood?”

There was a brief pause before Lucky shouted, “No!”

“Alright, just focus, breathe, and go back in.” Marie instructed, while Callie swung her roller at any octarians or ammunition that got too close.

“Okay, I think I get it.”  Lucky holstered a dualie before running forward, jumping off an octotrooper so she could grab onto an octocopter from below. The creature warbled in alarm, flying through the air erratically.

“Lucky, that’s not going to work!” Callie yelled, vaulting with her roller to kick an octoling’s hypnoshades off. The teenager laughed in midair, firing plasma with her remaining dualie. Callie almost paused to watch. “Sweet bingus, it’s actually working.”

Once Lucky had decimated a small swath of the octarian forces, she turned her dualie into a dagger and slowly, carefully turned it in her hand. She aimed upwards at an angle and attempted to throw it into the octocopter’s propeller.

It missed by an inch.

Lucky’s hand was covered in her own ink-blood.

The Myers siblings clawed at each other desperately, with Katherine blocking Marcus’s attempts to yank the hypnoshades off of her. He dove out of the way to turn around behind her, barely managing to sidestep when she tried to roundhouse-kick him. Marcus grabbed her leg, using her own movement to throw her to the side. “Kat, please, snap out of it! You’re my sister; I don’t want to fight you!”

“All inklings must be purged. You are the inferior species.” She threw a punch; Marcus grabbed her arm in front of him, turning to throw her in front of himself. Katherine kicked off the wall, turning around in midair to kick Marcus in the face twice, knocking him onto his back. She attempted to kick him in the stomach before he could get up.

Marcus grabbed her lower leg before it could strike him, dragging her down to the floor. “Sorry about this.” He punched her in the face, striking her hypnoshades. Katherine rolled off the ground, standing up at the same time as Marcus. She kicked with her left leg; Marcus blocked with his right arm. She kicked with her right leg; he blocked with his left arm. Katherine grabbed Marcus by the sides, driving her head into his chest. Marcus grabbed her arms, flipping her and throwing her onto her back. “You need to snap out of it!”

Marcus attempted to shatter Katherine’s hypnoshades underfoot, only for her to roll over to the side of him. She grabbed his leg with one hand, pushing herself up while he stepped backwards so he wouldn’t fall. She used the opening to claw at his face with both hands, one directly after another, drawing two lines of green ink-blood under his eyes. Marcus jumped back, giving himself enough room to jump-kick her in the stomach.

Kat doubled over from the strike, leaving herself open and facing the floor. “I’m so sorry.” Marcus admitted, grabbing her by the ponytail to lift her head up, “But I don’t have a choice!” He pulled his hand back, while Katherine struggled. Her skin started to turn a bright purple. In the second before she took on her octopus form, Marcus punched her hypnoshades, hard enough to audibly crack them. Katherine resumed her humanoid form. Frayed wires sparked, hanging out of the cracks in the lenses of her hypnoshades. Marcus forcibly pulled the device off of Katherine’s face, throwing it onto the ground and shattering it underfoot.

“Katherine!” He grabbed her by the shoulders, “Are you alright?” Katherine’s eyes were closed, purple ink-blood dripping above and below them. Marcus held her wrist to check her pulse, letting out an exhale. She slumped over into his arms. “Okay. I got you.” He turned on his communicator, “Hey, Sheldon, I need a transporter real quick.”

“I get it!” Eight realized, “They’re special weapons!”

“I suppose you’re not quite as idiotic as you seem. Not by much, though.” Viktor taunted. He and Malecia both activated their belts simultaneously.

0-6-9: Tenta Missiles

0-6-9: Tenta Missiles

Purple energy materialized on the belts, moving upwards on their sides. The energy coalesced into shoulder-mounted missile launchers. Eight sprinted away from Viktor and Malecia as they fired over a dozen explosives.

The inkbrush struck Lauren directly in the face, forcing her to the ground. She clutched at her eyes, screaming in pain as the ink burned her skin. Marlin ran up to her from behind. “Lauren! Okay, uh, uh, oh screw it!” They grabbed her hero shot DX, dual wielding it with their own and alternating between firing each of them at the octarians next to the octoling wielding the inkbrush, while running towards her.

The octoling swung her inkbrush at Marlin. They slid under the weapon to resume their stance behind her so they were back-to-back. Before the octoling could react, Marlin turned around by striking her in the back with a roundhouse kick, throwing their hero shot DX into the air simultaneously. They grabbed her arm to turn her towards them, pulling the hypnoshades off her face. They grabbed their weapon out of the air before running over to Lauren.

“Hey, you alright?” Marlin handed Lauren’s weapon back to her. She coughed, wiping the octarian ink off herself, “Y-yeah, I’m fine. A little ink won’t stop me, I promise.”

“That’s the spirit. Now come on, let’s-” They were interrupted by the sound of two different tenta-missiles activating simultaneously. “Crud!” They both ran as an explosion launched them from behind.

Lucky wailed in pain, falling to the ground. She grabbed her hand, screaming and crying as she was surrounded by octarians. Before an octotrooper could shoot her, it exploded in a burst of plasma shot from Marie’s charger. “Kid, watch out!” Callie sprinted past her cousin. An octoling had walked over to Lucky from behind, bringing her roller down. Callie intercepted it with her own, pushing it forward into the octoling’s stomach. She used the opening to grab the octoling’s hypnoshades, knocking her out and undoing her mind control.

Marie fought off the surrounding octarians, striking them with her charger and shooting the ones farther away, while Callie knelt by Lucky to examine her. “Hey, kid, it’s alright.” She touched Lucky’s injured hand, causing her to yelp and recoil. “I’m sorry, but I need to look.” She gently gripped Lucky’s forearm. “I promise I’ll be careful.” She slowly dragged Lucky’s hand into view, and gasped at the sight. Lucky screwed her eyes shut, taking a sharp inhale.

Lucky’s hand was covered in blue ink-blood, her veins were almost visible, and the blood was traveling rapidly under her sleeve. “Marie!” Callie yelled over, causing Lucky to wince from the volume, “She’s real bad; we need to retreat, now!”

“Right!” Marie paused at a sound from a few dozen feet away. “Was that…”

“Tenta missiles?!” Callie looked up at the explosives flying through the chamber. “How?!” “We can worry about that later. Right now, we need to get this kid to the infirmary.”

Callie activated Lucky’s transporter before she and Marie turned on their own, less than a second before the tenta missiles struck the ground where they’d been.

The explosion from the tenta missiles launched Lauren and Marlin into the air from behind, briefly giving them a better view of the room in front of them. “There!” Marlin pointed directly in front of them. “Kick!” Lauren ordered. They both turned in midair with their legs outstretched.

Lauren kicked Viktor in the back of the head while Marlin’s leg struck Malecia from behind, just before they ran over to Eight. “Marlin! Other agent three! You’re still Okay!”

“Yeah, for now.” Lauren pointed at Viktor, “What’s with the belts?”

“Special weapons.” Eight explained, panting. “Oh great, that’s just what we need.” Marlin rolled their eyes.

“So you’re agent three?” Viktor pointed at Lauren, yelling contemptuously, “The little inksquirt who took down Octavio?”

Lauren walked forward, twirling her weapon. “In the flesh. How does it feel, that your own daughter is dating public enemy number one?” Viktor’s face contorted into a hideous mask of hatred. “Die!”

2-2-0: Inkjet

2-2-0: Inkjet

Viktor and Malecia both ascended on twin jets of purple ink, with jetpacks that manifested from digital energy. They used handheld triggers to fire bursts of explosive ink at the three agents.

Lauren backflipped thrice to dodge three of the blasts, while Marlin fired plasma at Malecia. “Eight! We need to combine our weapons!” Eight fired plasma at an ink burst, causing it to prematurely explode in midair. “Got it!” Marlin attached their shot to the side of Eight’s charger. Viktor and Malecia floated through the air, effortlessly dodging every one of the combined plasma blasts.

Lauren fired her own plasma shots in tandem with the combined weapons, occasionally striking the kyanshus’ belts. Less than a minute after Viktor and Malecia had activated their inkjets, yet feeling like several, the special weapons were depleted and they were forcibly descended to the ground.

Lauren’s communicator started beeping. “Agent 4? What is it?” “I got Katherine back.”

Marcus teleported into the living room of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, his sister unconscious in his arms. “Agent 4! Agent 8!” Sheldon ran out of the open door to his laboratory. “Is she alright?” “Hardly!” Marcus carried the octoling into the infirmary, while Sheldon followed them both. “What happened to her?” “She-”

“Infirmary!” Callie’s voice interrupted from the living room, “Now!” “What?” Marcus sprinted into the hallway. Callie was holding Lucky’s hand, blue ink-blood dripping between her fingers, as she groaned in agony.

“What happened to her?!” Marcus yelled, helping drag his younger counterpart into the infirmary.

“She had a mishap with a dagger.” Marie pulled out one of Lucky’s daggers, covered in a blue liquid. Marcus silently nodded. “Sheldon! Katherine’ll probably wake up on her own! Lucky’s the priority now!” “Got it. I’ll get some bandages and disinfectant. You all help her get some rest.”

Callie nodded, helping Lucky into the closest infirmary bed and laying her down. “Why… why’d we stop?”

The three standing agents all looked at each other. “Lucky.” Marie held the teenager’s wrist, “You can’t keep fighting like this. You’re losing ink fast…” She wrapped the sheet around Lucky’s hand, turning it blue, “...and you can’t exactly fight with one hand.”

“No!” Lucky tried to sit up, only to involuntarily force herself back down with her face even paler. “I… I can’t just quit! What would mom and dad say?!” Marcus, standing on the other side of her, held her uninjured hand. “Lucky, if your parents cared at all about you, they’d want you to stop fighting as soon as you got cut like that. My parents know all about our agent work, and how much danger we put ourselves in, and they call me and Katherine all the time to make sure we’re okay.”

“Well… well my parents call me, too. They… they make sure I’m earning enough money, and that I’m making myself useful, and that I don’t have to stay home for the rest of my life!” She was choking, trying to stop herself from crying.

“Poor kid.” Marie tried to hug Lucky without touching her injury, only for her to push the older girl away. “No! Stop! I’m- I’m not a kid! I need to take care of myself!”

Sheldon approached her with the necessary medical supplies. “Your parents still let you go to the doctor, right? No, seriously, please tell me your parents let you see a doctor at least.”

“Y-y-yeah, as long as it doesn’t cost too much.” Lucky collapsed back onto the bed. Sheldon started applying disinfectant with a cloth, while Marcus held Lucky’s shoulders.

Callie whispered into Marie’s ear, “So, we can agree her parents suck, right?” “Oh, yeah. Maybe not quite as bad as Kat’s, but still completely abusive. I wish we could get her out of there. Too bad there’s this whole other dimension thing, and all the legal stuff around it…”

“Well, at least she’s got Marlin, and Eight. It’s not much, but it’s something. You’re right, though. The kid deserves better.”

“Are… are you… talk… talking about… me…?”

“No, Lucky, you’re fine.” Callie placed a hand on Lucky’s forehead. “Everything’s going to be alright.” “Okay. I trust you.” Lucky briefly closed her eyes, just as Sheldon finished enveloping her hand in gauze.

“The good news is, you should be able to heal relatively quickly. Physically, at least.” “Thanks, Sheldon. Now I can-”

“Rest!” Marcus snapped, loud enough that Lucky yelped in alarm, Callie and Marie stepped back, and Sheldon hid in his shell. He pushed Lucky onto the bed by her forehead and stomach, yelling, “I will tape you to this bed if it’ll help you get some rest! Are you trying to kill yourself?!”

Lucky paused in her struggling, eyes wide and her entire body shaking. “N-n-no.”

“Good. Okay. I’m sorry for scaring you, but I don’t want to see you hurt. Understand?” Lucky shook her head, “Why do you care so much? We just met, and we’re not even from the same dimension.”

Marcus shrugged, “Well, why did you join the New Squidbeak Splatoon in the first place?” Lucky thought for a moment. “Because Marie looked sad, and she needed help, and I just couldn’t not help someone like that. My parents taught me to always help when someone needed it.”

Marcus turned his gaze to the floor, muttering so Lucky couldn’t hear, “Well, that’s what they say about broken clocks.”

“What?” “Nothing, Lucky. But, yeah, I guess that’s it. I joined the New Squidbeak Splatoon because it felt like the right thing to do, and that’s why I want to help you. It’s the right thing to do. That’s always what I try to do, even though it’s not always easy. Understand?”

Lucky nodded. “Good.” Marcus turned on his communicator. Lauren’s voice, breathing heavily from fighting, came through, “Agent 4? What is it?” Marcus barely hesitated, “I got Katherine back.” “You what?! I’ll tell Marlin; we’ll be right there!” “Good.” Marcus turned off the communicator.

Katherine’s eyes opened involuntarily. For a few seconds, she was unable to move, as though she’d forgotten how her muscles operated. Eventually, she was able to stand up. She recognized the interior of the infirmary. Everything from the past day came flooding back to her, overwhelming her. Katherine could only see red, and her breaths came out short and hitched, struggling for oxygen.

Marcus slowly approached his sister, eyes screwed shut and barely able to breathe. “Kat? Katherine?” He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder.

Katherine heard a voice, tiny and quiet, yet safe and familiar. Someone calling her name, someone she’d only known for a short time yet knew she could trust. She blindly stumbled towards her brother’s voice.

Kat slowly walked into Marcus’s open arms. He gently held Katherine, running a hand through her tentacle-hair and occasionally squeezing her ponytail. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. I promise, I won’t let them hurt you anymore.” Katherine still hyperventilated. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you in the first place. Just breathe with me, okay?” He inhaled, waited a second, and exhaled. Marcus repeated the process a few times, until Katherine started mimicking him.

“There you go. That’s it. You’re okay.” He kept his arms around her, ensuring she felt safe. Eventually, after her breathing had reached a sort of equilibrium, she buried her face in his shoulder, gripping onto his back, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

“I… I’m going to have nightmares about this. I-I-I just know it.” Marcus rubbed her back, gently shushing her, “It’s alright. If you have any nightmares, I just want you to wake me up so I can help you. Just like you’ve always helped me whenever I have nightmares.”

“Thank you. I love you.” “I love you too. Hey, maybe if I can save up enough money, I could get you one of those weighted blankets. Think that might help?” Katherine nodded, “Yeah. I think so.”

Lauren sprinted into the infirmary ahead of Marlin and Eight, seeing Marcus embracing her girlfriend. “Hey, Kat-” Marcus briefly held out a hand before replacing it on Katherine’s back, turning his head and mouthing, “Don’t crowd her.” Lauren nodded, standing back.

“Lucky!” Marlin entered the infirmary and ran over to one of the beds, followed closely by Eight. “Are you okay? I’m sorry we couldn’t make it sooner; those two were right on top of us the whole time.” She gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine.” “What happened to your hand?!” Eight grabbed Lucky’s wrist, causing her to hiss in pain. “Sorry.” Eight lowered the inkling’s bandaged hand back onto the bed, wrapping a tentacle-hair around one of Lucky’s. “I not mean to hurt you. I never mean to hurt you.” Lucky squeezed Eight’s tentacle-hair with her own, genuinely smiling. “I know you don’t. I trust you, Eight. “Thanks.” Marlin held Lucky’s other hand while she sat up. “Can you tell us what happened?”

Nearby, Marcus asked his sister, “Are you alright now?” “No. Not yet.” Katherine raised her head. “My parents…” She shook her head, correcting herself, “Viktor and Malecia aren’t going to stop. We need to rest up, and stop them as soon as we can.” 

Marcus nodded, releasing her. “Are you sure you’re ready to face them again?” “No. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to see them again. But it’s not like being unprepared has stopped us before.”

Lauren walked towards her girlfriend. “Hey, Kat, are you-” Katherine sprinted over to embrace her. “What happened? I didn’t hurt you, did I? I’m sor-” “No, you’re not. You’d better not be sorry, because you did absolutely nothing wrong. I’m sorry, if anything, that I wasn’t there to protect you.” Lauren gently squeezed Katherine’s ponytail. “It’s okay, Lorie. You… we couldn’t have known that was going to happen.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Katherine shuddered. “Maybe later.” “Okay, sweetheart.” Lauren’s communicator started beeping. “Hold on.”

“Trent, what’s going on?” “There’s dozens of octarians in the square! We need backup now!” Lauren’s eyes widened. “I’ll send reinforcements.” She hung up the communicator.

“Alright, team!” Lauren addressed the room, “We’ve got octarians in the square; no doubt sent by Viktor and Malecia! Everyone who can still walk and hold a weapon- Lucky, don’t even think about it- teleport there and help out the S4. If you see any octolings wearing hypnoshades, knock them off and get them somewhere safe while they’re unconscious. I’ll call the other auxiliary agents in the city and make sure they know where the party is.” She recited the relevant transporter code to them. “Everyone understand?”

Callie, Marie, Marlin, Eight, Marcus, and Katherine all nodded at once, and activated their transporters. “Myers, wait.” Lauren interrupted Marcus and Katherine, while the other agents disappeared.

“Katie, are you sure you’re ready to go back out there already? Eight told me about… ‘that’.”

Katherine forced herself to look her girlfriend in the eyes. “I’m sure. And besides, I’ll have to face them sooner or later.” She pulled Marcus closer by his arm. “Plus, even if I’m not ready, that’s why I’ve got you two, right? We’ve been doing this for, what, two years now?”

“Close to it. A few months, I think.” Marcus confirmed.

“Exactly. Now come on, let’s show my ex-parents what a real family’s capable of.” “With plasma weapons.” Lauren interjected. “Well yeah, obviously. Everything’s better with plasma weapons.” The three agents turned on their transporters.

Bedridden and staring at her useless hand, Lucky barely heard anything. She concluded out loud, “This sucks.”

A group consisting of 5 inklings and 2 octolings teleported into the middle of Inkopolis square, immediately charging into the battlefield it’d become. Callie swung her roller to deflect an octohurler’s rolonium, instantly killing the barely-sentient mass of ink.

Marie aimed her charger at an airborne deluxe octobomber, intentionally waiting for it to make the first move. Immediately after it spat out a bright purple splat bomb, she rolled onto her back to avoid it while the octobomber preemptively dodged. Marie fired her still fully-charged plasma shot with precise accuracy. She stood up in time to watch a burst of plasma launch the octobomber’s namesake weapon into a small crowd of twintacle octotroopers.

“Not bad, Eight.” “Thanks, other Marie!”

Marcus, Lauren, and Katherine merged their weapons, firing a massive burst of plasma that annihilated a flock of a dozen octobombers. The rain of bombs was deflected by a storm of ink launched from another splatling behind them.

“Hey, guys!” Ethan waved at them, “Kat, good to see you’re safe.” “Oh, yeah, just a little scarred for life. What else is new?”

Sydney kicked off an octoling’s forehead, shattering her hypnoshades before turning around in midair and firing plasma at an octobomber. “Who’re the new guys?” She pointed at Marlin and Eight. “Oh, they’re our counterparts from two different parallel timelines.” Marcus casually answered, swinging his splatling into an octoling’s head to knock off his hypnoshades.

“You know what? Sure. Why not at this point?”

The blue team performed a weapon combination, instantly annihilating a shielded octotrooper before dispersing. Margaret threw her slosher onto an octoling’s head from behind, using it as leverage to flip over in front of her to tear her slosher off along with the octoling’s hypnoshades.

Marlin tossed their hero shot DX to break a pair of hypnoshades, catching it in midair as it bounced off and firing straight upwards at an octobomber. They heard someone yelling behind them, “Hold still!”

“Wait, who- ow!” Tyler jumped off their shoulders, somersaulting in midair before unfolding himself, firing plasma downwards at an angle to bypass the defensive measures of a row of shielded octotroopers. He landed with both legs and his empty hand on the concrete. “Ow!” He winced, standing up and picking a rock out of his hand. “What, they can’t be bothered to pave this place?”

Hours after the battle at Inkopolis square had begun, Lauren swung her hero shot DX in a wide swath, firing plasma into a row of lesser octarians, before her communicator started beeping. “Did you find something?”

Marina’s voice came through the communicator, “Yeah. Sorry we couldn’t make it, but we’ve been looking through news feeds to try and locate Kat’s bio-parents.” “I was wondering where you two were.” Lauren fired a shot of ink to break a pair of hypnoshades.

“Apparently, there’s a horde of octarians invading Splatsville.” “Wait, the city of chaos? What’re they doing there?” Lauren eradicated an octobomber with a single plasma shot. “Who knows? They’re probably trying to get the drop on us by going somewhere insanely far from where any of our agents live.”

Lauren smiled. “Joke’s on them. Good thing I sent you and Pearl out to set up some teleport beacons over there.”

Pearl yelled into Marina’s communicator, “We did something!”

“Alright, I’ll split up the agents. You two come over to the square and help out. I’ll call up Sheldon and ask how Lucky’s doing in the infirmary, and then I’ll see if I can take her and a few other agents over to Splatsville.”

Hundreds of lesser octarians, led by two octolings without hypnoshades, marched through the city of chaos, setting fire and ruin to all in their path. A hundred feet in front of them, six armed individuals appeared from ostensibly nowhere.

Lucky, Eight, Marcus, Marlin, Katherine, and Lauren teleported a mere hundred feet away from an army of octarians in the middle of Splatsville. “How did you get here?!” Viktor yelled. “The right technology and preparation, that’s all.” Lauren stepped forward, slowly clapping her hero shot DX on her shoulder. “Now come on. Let’s show them the power of the New Squidbeak Splatoon in two universes!”

Lauren and Marlin jumped into the air, firing plasma into a row of octarians. Marlin launched a splat bomb into a group of octotroopers while Lauren swung her weapon to deflect an octobomber’s ammunition into it, using a burst of plasma to finish it off. “Not bad, Mar. Who knows? Maybe someday you could become a captain where you’re from.”

“I’m not sure I’m really the type. But thanks. You’re not half bad.” Marlin shrugged. Lauren grinned enough that her fangs were showing. “We’ll see.”

Marcus and Lucky stood back-to-back, firing plasma simultaneously. “Lucky, how’s your hand doing?” Marcus asked. “It’s fine. Thanks.” “Good to hear. You wanna do a weapon combination? We’ve got two different types, after all.”

“Wait, a weapon what?!” “You heard me. Just attach your dualies to the sides of my splatling.” “Okay.” Lucky hesitantly did as she was instructed. “I can’t believe you guys can actually do this stuff.” Marcus grinned, “Isn’t technology wonderful? Now fire!” They launched a massive burst of plasma at a swarm of a dozen octostrikers, instantly eradicating all of them at once.

Katherine and Eight charged forward through the octarian armada. Kat sliced through an octotrooper with a dagger while shooting plasma from her other hand. She covered Eight, while she used her charger to launch plasma at the airborne octarians out of her counterpart’s reach. She wrapped her longer tentacle-hairs around an octotrooper, throwing it to the side.

“Eight! Let’s combine our weapons!” Katherine recommended, holding her dualies upside-down and firing backwards over her shoulders. “Wait. Our weapons combine?” Eight narrowed her eyes.

“Yeah. Here, I’ll show you.” She attached her dualies to either side of Eight’s charger. “Incredible.” “I know exactly where we can fire.” Katherine snarled, pointing at Malecia. The light and heat energy pooled into the charger from the dualies, manifesting as a burst of plasma that rocketed directly at Malecia. She frantically activated her belt.

9-0-9: Ink Armor

A near-deafening explosion caused a blaze with an opaque field of smoke around it. Malecia walked through the smoke, coughing, her ink armor already annihilated by the plasma. “Katherine, Katherine, Katherine. You were always such a worthless disappointment of a daughter.”

“Shut up!” Eight forcibly detached her charger, launching a blast of energy that Malecia effortlessly dodged. “You… you the disappointment! You be a monster!”

“And why would someone of my stature acknowledge a moron who can barely string together a sentence? Katherine, please, come home to us. We want you back. Come home to your family.”

Kat walked forward. She crossed her arms, firing her dualies at octarians to either side of herself. “Go to hell, Malecia. You and Viktor both. You treated me as a slave, or a pet, and sold me as a soldier when I was thirteen for the sake of your own status. I’ve found my real family here. Unlike you two wastes of oxygen, they actually care about me. I know I can talk about anything with them, no matter what. They don’t consider me a waste of their time, and I owe them everything.” She aimed her weapons at Malecia, less than a dozen feet away, her voice enveloped in quiet hatred. “And I would much rather die for them than live for you.”

“How dare you?!” Malecia screeched, using her octoshot to deflect Katherine’s plasma until one struck her in the shoulder, sending her collapsing to her knees. “So that’s it? You’ve abandoned us for the inklings? Our ancestral enemies? Your girlfriend is agent 3! Don’t you know what she did?!”

Katherine watched as Malecia stood up, grimacing, a hand on her burnt shoulder. “Yeah.” She answered bluntly, “She saved my life more times than I can count.” A robotic voice emanated from, ostensibly, nowhere.

0-6-9: Tenta Missiles

The swarm of explosives sent the agents scattering. Explosions of purple ink obstructed any view, granting Malecia the cover she needed to regroup with her husband. “Perfect timing. Couldn’t have cut it a little closer, could’ve you?” “To be honest, I was just getting impatient. Now then…” He aimed his octoshot at Lauren, Marcus, and Katherine, standing next to each other by sheer coincidence. “...let’s finally end this little family squabble.”

Three small orange cylinders appeared, one between Viktor and Malecia, and the other two on either side of them. They only had a second to register their own surprise before all three exploded in a burst of viscous orange liquid, throwing them backwards against a wall. “What the-?” Lauren wondered aloud. 

The three agents turned around to find three other inklings, all with orange tentacle-hair. The girl who stood in the middle of the group wore a pair of headphones atop a red beanie, with a pair of oversized goggles on her forehead. She held a weapon wholly unfamiliar to the Inkopolis residents, resembling a bow capable of firing three of the explosive ink arrows simultaneously. The boy on her left wore a pair of opaque goggles that obstructed his eyes, holding a charger. The other boy on her right wore a pair of headphones similar to hers, and held a roller.

“What do you three think you’re doing?” Lauren questioned the civilians, “We’re in the middle of a fight here!”

“Yeah, we noticed.” The roller user confirmed, “We just thought now would be a good time to get our cameo out of the way.” “Ignore him.” The charger user reached behind the girl to put a hand on the other boy’s shoulder. “He’s always saying weird stuff like that. But I still love him.”

The girl walked over to Lauren. “So, you’re the new captain over in Inkopolis, huh? I was hoping I’d get to meet you someday. You seem really interesting!” She held out her hand.

Lauren crossed her arms. “I’m sorry, but who are you?” The teenager gave a fang-baring grin. “We’re just some passing-through upcoming stars, that’s all! Hey, it looks like those two are starting to wake up.” She pointed behind the group, where Viktor and Malecia had regained consciousness. “Well, I don’t think our weapons are really up to snuff, and we’ve lost that whole element of surprise thing, so we’ll leave this one to you.” The three inklings ran out of sight down an adjacent street.

“What was that all about?” Marcus wondered aloud. “Who knows? We’ve got bigger things to worry about!” Katherine pointed at the two older octolings. They started activating their belts.

0-6-9: Tenta Missiles

0-2-0: Stingray

2-2-0: Inkjet

1-1-1: Splashdown

9-0-9: Ink Armor

0-9-6: Bomb Launcher

4-2-0: Ink Storm

9-0-0: Booyah Bomb

2-4-8: Ultra Stamp

Viktor and Malecia alternated their special weapons, forcing the six agents to continually dodge the endless explosions of purple ink. Lucky nearly froze at the sight of the inkstorm, before sprinting away from it, vaulting over a car, and shifting both of her dualies into daggers to frantically slash at the horde of octotroopers she’d inadvertently jumped into.

Lauren yelled into her communicator after turning it on, “Sheldon! Send us one hero DX weapon of every class, now!” “Understood, sir. And you’ll be happy to know I think I’ve almost cracked the code on these blueprints. It seems-” “That’s great man, but it’ll have to wait.” “Oh, yes, of course. Understood, captain Laker.” “Thanks, Sheldon.”

Lauren backflipped in order to avoid a stray tenta missile, while nine different weapons appeared in front of her. She redialed her communicator, “Marina! I need you, Callie, and- yes, okay, Pearl can come instead- no, I only need nine of us. We’re doing an all-weapon combo! Thanks!” She hung up, sprinting past a cluster of curling bombs. 

“Wait! I have just one question!” Katherine demanded, “What was with that tube I was in when I met Eight? Were you experimenting on me?!”

Viktor’s mouth curled into a snarl. “Of course. We had to get some use out of a worthless inkblot like you.”

“We’re gonna turn you two into inkblots.” Lauren deadpanned. Callie, Marie, and Pearl teleported nearby. All nine agents stood in a row. “We can’t merge redundant weapon types, so we each need to use one to create an all-weapon combo.” Lauren explained to the newcomers.

“Like we’d let you!” Malecia screeched.

0-9-6: Bomb Launcher

0-2-0: Stingray

“Oh sweet splat!” Marlin yelled as the group scattered. They rolled on the ground, picking up an inkbrush and swatting a curling bomb away with it. Lucky shielded herself from a burst bomb with a brella, while Callie deflected a splat bomb with a roller, and Marina shot another out of the air with a blaster. Next to her, Pearl caught an autobomb in a slosher and threw it away from herself and her cousin.

“Guess we’re not getting any more answers. Come on, guys!” Lauren commanded, “Let’s end this, once and for all!”

Within seconds, the nine agents created a single massive weapon and aimed it at Viktor and Malecia. “That won’t do anything.”

9-0-9: Ink Armor

Viktor and Malecia’s entire bodies glowed purple with a barrier of ink armor.

“Fire!” Lauren commanded. The energy flowed through every weapon until the brella, attached to the splatling at the front of the formation, rotated at blinding speeds with the air distorting around it as it was covered in artificial lightning.

A massive sphere of light and energy exploded out of the combined weapons and rocketed at Viktor and Malecia a dozen scores of feet away. The sheer force of the explosion threw the young agents backwards into the middle of the street, all of them groaning and taking a few seconds to stand back up. Their ears rang, and spots danced in their eyes.

When the smoke cleared, Viktor and Malecia were stumbling, their ink armor annihilated and their belts disemboweled, wires sparking from the buckles until they fell to their ankles, smoke pouring out. “We… we will retreat for now.” Viktor choked, “But thi- this is… not… over.” Malecia rubbed the smoke out of her reddening eyes, “This will never be over. Not until the true octarians rise to the surface, slaughtering those of us who betrayed our kind, and slaughter and enslave the hated inklings!”

They each threw a splat bomb, providing the distraction required to retreat out of view. “Hey!” Katherine yelled, “Get back here!” “Leave them.” Marcus held her by the shoulders. “Without those belts, and now that we’ve freed all those octolings from their hypnoshades, they shouldn’t be much of a threat anymore.”

“But…” Kat sputtered, “But they know where we live! What’s stopping them from coming back and kidnapping me again?! Or hurting you?! I can’t let that happen! I can’t- I need to protect my family!” She’d become frantic, grabbing him by the shoulders. “I know.” He gripped her by the elbows, looking her in the eyes reassuringly. “I promise, we’ll figure something out.”

“Hey, Kathy.” Lauren spoke from behind her, so as not to startle her girlfriend when she held her shoulders. “Let’s worry about one thing at a time, okay? They probably won’t be able to attack you guys again any time soon.” “Yeah. Maybe.”

Callie walked over and picked up one belt in each hand. “We should probably do something with these. Here.” Lauren walked over to accept the belts. “Thanks.” Lauren walked over to the sidewalk, addressing the rest of the group, “Okay, we’re going back to Inkopolis to return you guys to your home. Then, the New Squidbeak Splatoon of this universe will discuss what to do moving forward. Any questions?”

With Lucky, Marlin, and Eight having returned to their version of Inkopolis, the New Squidbeak Splatoon had assembled in their headquarters. Marina informed Lauren, “Sheldon and I are going to try and reverse-engineer the belts, but with how messed up they are there’s no telling how long it could take. Same with the other blueprints; could take anywhere between a couple of months and a year.” “Good to know. Try to get it done as fast as possible, but don’t burn yourselves out.” “Will do.”

Marina turned to Katherine, standing a few feet away. “Kat, I’m so sorry. I never should’ve gotten you back in contact with them. If I’d just done the research and found out who they really were, none of this would’ve happened.”

“It’s okay.” Katherine hugged the slightly older octoling. She leaned down to return the gesture. “You couldn’t have known what would happen. And, besides, at least I got some sort of closure. I know you would never do anything to hurt me.”

“You’re right. I’d never hurt you. You’re just so young, and kind, and strong. You’re a good kid, Kat. Remember that, okay?”

Kat chuckled, short and sharp. “I’m not a kid, and you’re only a couple years older than me.” “You know what I mean.”

“Hey, guys, I want to talk to all of you about something.” Pearl addressed them, standing next to Marcus. Katherine and Marina stood up. “What is it?” Lauren asked. “Okay, so Marcus and I were discussing how Kat’s… well, I won’t call them her parents, but we were talking about how they know where you two live. Kat, we decided to talk to you about this, since it affects you too.”

“What is it?” Katherine asked nervously. Marcus walked over to her. “We were thinking that maybe we should move somewhere outside of Inkopolis to hide from them. We could still keep in touch with everyone using the communicators and transporters, Pearl’s stupid rich and she’s already offered to help us financially, and since everyone knows who we are, we can contact someone to have our house condemned so that some poor sod doesn’t move in there and get murdered in our place.”

Kat startled. “Move?! You- I- we- are you sure? This is- it’s so drastic; where would we even go?!” “I think I might have an idea.” Marina spoke up, “Maybe you two should move to Splatsville. It’s started to get really popular in the last few years because of the turf war scene over there, and more importantly there’s gotta be something over there if Viktor and Malecia bothered to attack it. Maybe it’d be worth a long-term investigation.”

“Hey, wait!” Lauren grabbed Marcus and Katherine by the shoulders. “If you two are moving to Splatsville, then I’m moving too!” She looked into Kat’s eyes pleadingly. “Especially if there might be some sort of octarian loyalist conspiracy over there. Please.” “I- I’m not sure, Lorie. Where would you live?”

Marina suggested, “I could get a place where all three of you could live together. It shouldn’t be too hard to find, and it’d probably be cheaper than getting two or three separate houses. ”

“Really? Thank you so much!” Lauren agreed. “Okay.” Katherine decided, “Let’s move to Splatsville, then.

Chapter Text

In the vast deserts of the splatlands, a 15-year-old girl was sitting in the sand. She wore a white t-shirt that was partially shredded, black leggings with cuts in them, a pair of gray and red boots, and a light-gray cloak with a hood that protected her head from the harsh sun. She took off her cloak to look up. Satisfied that the sun was far enough past its zenith, she took off the device over her mouth, meant to help her breathe the stale desert air. She pocketed her sunglasses, deciding she’d no longer need them in the afternoon.

“Yo, Little Buddy.” The girl addressed the smallfry sniffing the sand around her, “I think it’s time to head back to town.” She picked up the tri-stringer laying at her side, and let her pet follow her to the train station a few dozen feet away.

The train station was little more than a 10-foot tall pavilion, consisting of a few chairs and a single metal, graffiti-covered wall at the back to connect the broken wood roof to the floor, which kept the structure a foot above the sand. The girl occupied herself by tapping her foot on the floor, and stroking her salmonid’s mohawk on her lap.

The splatlandian youth was awoken by the sound of a train pulling into the stop. “Buh?! Wuh?!” She startled the smallfry on the seat next to her. “Oh, the train! C’mon, Little Buddy!” Cupping the amphibian in her hands, she stumbled onto the train, paid her fee, and took her spot.

She kept a seat between herself and the nearest other passenger, a jellyfish, while holding a small leather bag tight against her chest. A humanoid fish held onto one of the poles to stand up, despite the train being sparse. She glanced at Little Buddy, smiling as he bounced up and down on the seat next to her.

In the heart of Splatsville, a news studio went live. The report was viewed by millions of cephalings on their sea-cucumber phones.

“Listen up!” A blue octoling introduced, “It’s going down…”

“Repping the splatlands…” A yellow-haired inkling continued, “We are Deep Cut!”

“Ay!” A manta ray spoke in a language universally known to all cephalings.

“You lip-synch, we drip ink…” The octoling waved a paper fan, folding it with one hand.

“Ay, ay, ay!” The manta ray added, “Ay!”

“Oh, you got something, Big Man? Let’s hear it!” The octoling watched the TV in the studio, which Big Man was holding from behind. It showed a picture of the great zapfish curling around the tower where cephalings accessed recreational battles.

“Uh, this was my story to break.” The inkling sputtered, “The great zapfish is gone!”

“It basically powers the whole city! We need it back soon, or it’s lights out…”

“Time to conserve.” The yellow-haired girl went over basic energy-conserving measures for emergency circumstances.

“Ay!”

“And that’s it… for now.”

“Ooh, spicy!”

“From Splatsville, that’s a wrap.” The inkling and octoling stood up, signing off in unison, “Catch ya later!”

In front of the battle lobby tower, there was a staircase leading to the rest of Splatsville square. Each of its multiple-foot-wide halves were separated by a railing with stone platforms on the edges and at the larger platform halfway up. “Damn.” A teenager watched the news, while sitting on the curvature of the stone at the bottom of the stairs, with grass behind him. “I can’t believe it went missing again.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” The boy leaning on his shoulder, arm around his side, assured him, “The great zapfish disappeared from Inkopolis twice, and those secret agent guys got it back in, like, a month.” He kissed the other boy on the cheek. “There’s no way this’ll have any time to affect us.”

“Yeah, I know, but-”

“There you are! I was looking for you two!” A girl their age ran over to them, holding a smallfry in her hands. “Sam, I called you on your CQ. And when that didn’t work, I tried calling Kenji. Do you have any idea how worried I was when you weren’t at your apartment?!”

“Sorry, Megs.” Sam winced, lifting his head off Kenji’s shoulder, “My CQ died, but we were just watching the news on Kenji’s. Maybe the text didn’t come through because there’s no signal in the splatlands?”

“Well, why wouldn’t there be?”

“Dude.” Kenji leaned forward, explaining as bluntly as he could, “It’s a desert.”

Megs opened her mouth as if to protest, only to hold up a finger and concede, “Okay, fair point.”

“So, did you find any good recruits out there?” Kenji asked. Megs sat on the structure next to him. “Unfortunately not. Just a few vagabonds, but none of them were splatsquad material. Some of them had the skills, some had the right personalities for us to work off of, but none of them had both.”

“And let me guess.” Sam leaned forward to look past his boyfriend, “You’re going back tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“Sure am! As leader of the up-and-coming champions, I won’t rest until I find the perfect fourth member to round out our team and take us to the top!”

“Why don’t you try looking around the square?” Kenji suggested, “There’s bound to be tons of cephalings without teams.”

“Oh, sure thing I will. But first…” The inkling girl picked up her salmonid, “...I gotta get Little Buddy something to drink. Poor guy’s parched after all that time in the desert.” She stroked his mohawk, speaking in a quiet, somewhat high-pitched voice, “But you wouldn’t know that from looking at him, would you? You’re a little trooper, yes you are, yes you are.”

Megs walked over to a vendor run by a goldfish. “Hey, can I have some water for  my Little Buddy here? We were just out in the desert.”

“Oh, sure thing, miss.” The plump-faced staff member poured a glass of water into a stainless steel cup, decorated with stickers warning of the potential danger it could present to cephalings, and handed it to Megs with a lid holding it from above.

“Thanks.” She dropped a number of coins onto the counter from her bag. The goldfish dropped them into the cash register. “No problem, kiddo. Have a nice day.”

“You too.” Megs started walking back over to Sam and Kenji, just as they were walking into a more densely-populated section of the square, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. “What the…?”

“So, what do you think we should do?” Sam asked, holding Kenji’s hand as they walked down the crowded street. Kenji shrugged, “Dunno. Maybe-”

“Guys guys guys!” Megs ran in front of them, nearly bowling them over in the process.

“Woah, dude, watch it!” Kenji snapped, loud enough to catch the attention of several onlookers.

None of them noticed that his eyes briefly flashed red.

“Sorry, sorry, but I just saw something and we need to check it out right now!” The girl ran in place. “There’s an old guy in the sewers!”

Sam and Kenji looked at each other, then back to Megs. “And we should check this out… why?”

Megs rolled her eyes, “C’mon, guys, what if he needs our help? And besides, do you two have anything better to do right now?”

Kenji shrugged, “No, I guess not. I guess this is our inciting incident.” Sam nodded in agreement, “Okay, let’s do this. But if we get killed, I’m never letting you hear the end of it.”

“Deal! Now come on already!” She led them over to the nearby sewer grate, where they utilized their squid forms to pass through the bars.

The three inklings emerged in a narrow space, consisting of little more than dark brown rocks in an uneven terrain. Just ahead and off to the left was a structure that could’ve been generously called a hut, with a white tarp over a set of poles, leaving the front and part of the sides exposed to the elements.

A few feet in front of them, a bald old inkling was practically vibrating as he yelled, “Th-th-the oc-oc-oct- the octarians are coming! AGAINNNNNNNNNNNN!”

“Uh, sir, are you okay?” Kenji asked concernedly.

“No, boy, none of us are okay! Oh, uh, hi… did we do this once before? The ol’ noggin ain’t what it used to be. Anyhow, the name’s Cuttlefish. Senior advisor to the New Squidbeak Splatoon, at your service! Those looks in your eyes… those’re the looks I’ve been looking for!”

“Okay, guys, maybe this wasn’t my best idea.” Megs admitted.

“The great zapfish that powers Splatsville has been kidnapped! It’s the octarians again. You can bet your bottom sand dollar on it! See, the great zapfish has gone missing before. Twice, in fact! And those octojerks were behind it both times. I’ve been keepin’ an eye on ’em even though I’m technically retired. And with eyes like these, there ain’t much that escapes me! But they still made off with the great zapfish. And now WE’VE got to get it back. Right? So, uh…”

“Hold up.” Megs held up a hand. “Are you recruiting us?”

“I sure am, kiddo! The pay is zero, but you might just save the world? So, you’re in, right? Right?! Please be in; we’re short on recruits.”

“Saving the world?!” Megs practically squealed, bouncing on her heels and holding her hands up to her chest, “We’re in! I love the world; it’s where I play turf wars!”

“That’s what I like to hear, young lady. We’ve recently stopped numbering our agents, so you’ll be going by your real names. So then, what’re your names?”

“Okay, guys, just like we practiced!”

“No.” Kenji vetoed, “We’re not doing the roll call thingy.”

“But it’s fun! And it’s attention-grabbing!”

“Yeah, in the worst way possible. I’m Sheridan. Sam Sheridan.”

“Name’s Kenji Kisaragi.”

“Alright! And I’m the fiery-hearted wielder of the tri-stringer!” The young girl pointed at the old man, “The leader of the up-and-coming champions, team splatsquad!” She held her arms out diagonally, “Meggy Spletzer!”

The captain blinked. “Is she okay?”

“We ask ourselves that every day, sir.” Kenji admitted cheerfully.

“Well, in any case, I’ll need you three to help me get the little zapfish back, and then we’ll have to find the great zapfish, before Splatsville goes into permanent blackout!”

“Alright, and, uh, how do we do that?” Kenji leaned over to look behind the old man, at the barrier made of a strange, pulsating substance that vaguely resembled fur. “Also, what’s that stuff?”

“Ah.” The old man tightened his grip on the bamboozler he was using as a cane. “We call that fuzzy ooze. It may look harmless, but just touching it will encase you in a full-body beard made of that weird fur. My granddaughter touched it, and, well, if we didn’t have those respawn generators…” He closed his eyes and inhaled, “Well, just be careful. Please.”

He led them over to what resembled a kettle in the ground, large enough for a cephaling’s swim form to slip through the grate. “We call these kettles. They’re like gateways to the octarian territories, where they hold the zapfish. All you’ve gotta do is get in there, retrieve the zapfish, and get out.”

“Right.” Meggy agreed, “I promise you, sir, we won’t let you down.”

“Wait, shouldn’t we have weapons?” Kenji realized, “I left my charger at home.”

“Ah, that’s right. Of course, a regular old charger probably wouldn’t quite cut it out here.” The former captain walked over to the hut, where he gave the teenagers three bright yellow firearms. “These are hero shot DXs. They’re a new-fangled model that can fire either plasma or ink.” He demonstrated how to switch modes.

“Wow. This technology is incredible.” Sam turned his weapon in his hand, examining it close-up.

“Well, we did have some help from a fellow who called himself a member of… what did he call it? The Fifth Church? Well, in any case, the hero weapon DX models are currently our best weapons against any threats to the world’s safety.”

“Okay, so all we have to do is go in that kettle and retrieve the zapfish, right?” Meggy gestured to the kettle, “I promise you, sir, we won’t let you down!”

Hours later, the group had used their hero shot DXs to carve a path through the fuzzy ooze, retrieving four small zapfish in the process. They looked out over a cliff into a crater, with an ocean of fuzzy ooze below them. “Okay, so we don’t know why all those octarians were fuzzy, and now we’ve got this to deal with.” Kenji turned to the others. “Any ideas?”

“No doubt those fuzzy octarians are connected to this weird ooze somehow.” Sam decided, “They probably got infected by it.”

“Nice theory, and you’re probably right, but that’s not what I meant hon. I just want to know how we’re supposed to get down there. I mean, whatever we’re looking for, it’s probably somewhere down there.”

“Perhaps this little smallfry can assist us.” Craig scratched Little Buddy’s chin sticking out of Meggy’s backpack.

“What? How?” She held out her pet.

“You found hundreds of power eggs, right?” The captain explained, “Well, I’ve heard that salmonids have a special connection to those things. Maybe we could use that to our advantage.”

“I don’t really get it, but okay.” Meggy held open another section of her bag, containing the power eggs Sam and Kenji hadn’t collected. Little Buddy jumped into the bag, rummaging around and devouring its contents. He jumped into Meggy’s arms, glowing a blinding orange. “Woah. Alright, Little Buddy, let’s hope this works!” She lobbed the smallfry into a glimmering blue-and-white pustule on the fuzzy ooze, causing it to pulsate until it exploded. Little Buddy jumped back into Meggy’s arms, while the fuzzy ooze blackened and hardened. The effect spread to the entire ocean of fuzzy ooze at the bottom of the crater, until it exploded into a massive short-lived dust cloud.

“Incredible.” Meggy looked down at the smallfry in her arms. “That was amazing, little guy! Come on guys, let’s go down there.”

“Wait.” Craig tapped a device on his wrist, “I think we oughta consider callin’ some backup. Lemme just fire up the ol’ communicator… check, check! This is cuttlefish, over. Do you copy?”

Marie’s voice came through the communicator, “Gramps? Is that you? Where are you? Why are you talking like that?” She turned the call to a 3-way, “Agent 1, this is agent 2. Gramps has wandered off. Again.”

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go collect him!”

“Roger that.” Marie agreed, “Stay fresh!”

Craig tapped the communicator a few times. “…Did they just hang up on me?! Agents these days, am I right? So impatient…”

The communicator emitted a loud static. A deep voice laughed, growling, “…Cuttle… I foun… you!”

Craig rolled his eyes and turned off the communicator. “Dagnabbit, this ol’ thing is busted. Oh well. C’mon, let’s go!”

“Hey, does anyone else hear something that sounds suspiciously like a giant robot?” Kenji looked around the cliff that surrounded the crater. A massive object crashed into the top of the cliff, bouncing off of the outcroppings until it reached the ground they were standing on. Its limbs were short and stocky, with its open spherical torso piloted by an octoling in octopus form, the size of the young inklings.

The octoling laughed, “I finally found you, Cuttlefish! My octarian troops have gone missing… and I know you’re behind it!”

“Who is this clown?” Meggy drew her hero shot DX.

“That’s DJ Octavio, headliner of the entire octarian army! He tried to steal the great zapfish twice, and it looks like he’s trying to see if the third time really is the charm!”

“Quit spewin’ nonsense and listen up! I’m about to drop my latest hit…” He pulled out a pair of wasabi sticks, gripping them in his tentacles and placing them on the turntables in his mech, “...right on your smug little face!” The mech threw its fists onto the ground, sending out a shockwave. The captain, Meggy, Sam, and Kenji were thrown off the cliff, with nothing between them and the ground, except for a thousand feet of thin air.

The four inklings screamed, falling through the air while the mech flew safely to the ground. Their voices were silenced by the air rushing past them after a few seconds. Meggy tried to speak, only for her voice to still disappear in the wind. She tossed a couple of splat bombs straight down, followed by emptying the rest of her ink tank from her hero shot DX.

The group of inklings shifted into squid form just before they crashed into the ground, allowing them to instead safely sink into the liquid. They landed in a small circle of stone, in the center of a circular field of sand that sloped above them on all sides. Craig took a few more seconds to resume a humanoid form, shaking his head and rubbing his joints. “Good thinking, Meg- oh, he’s there!”

“Cuttlefish! Random kids I don’t know!” The mech threw its fists in the air. “You’ll pay for what you’ve done! Behold the spicy power of my Octobot King L3.Gs!” A fist detached from the mech and rocketed at the inklings.

“It’s just like the other Octobot Kings!” Craig pointed at the projectile, “Shoot it back!”

“Got it!” Kenji shot ink into the fist, with the other two less than a second behind. Far before the fist had any chance of reaching them, it reversed direction and crashed into the Octobot King L3.Gs. Octavio yelled in pain and frustration, using the rockets in his mech’s soles to fly over to another side of the naturally-created arena. One of the fists retracted into the mech’s arms, replaced by something that resembled a massive vacuum.

“Suck on this, squidlings!” A wave of air swirled into the vacuum, pulling the inklings closer, causing their tentacle-hairs to wave in its direction while they tried to keep their footing.

“What…” Meggy struggled to speak in the artificial gust, “...are we gonna- hey!” She reached out, trying to catch her smallfry after it flew out of her bag and out of her reach. “No! Little Buddy!”

Little Buddy flew through the air until it landed in the thin vacuum, wedged inside of it. The vacuum sputtered, and the gust faltered before disappearing. “What the-?! No! Fine! If I can’t suck you, I’ll just have to lay the smackdown on you upstarts!” He launched the Octobot King L3.Gs’s other hand, which splayed its fingers outwards before descending from 50 feet in the air.

“Oh, I get it!” Meggy pointed at the hand, “It’s literally smacking down on us.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.” Kenji agreed, “That’s actually kinda clever.”

“Say what you will about this guy, but he does know his way around a good pun.” Sam nodded.

“Shoot it down! Shoot it down!” Craig waved his free arm in a panic.

“Oh, shoot! Why aren’t we shooting?!” Meggy realized, even as the three had already started firing at the massive slab of metal.

Octavio could only watch as the open palm barreled down on him, sighing, “Well, nuts.”

After repeating the process twice more, with Little Buddy returning to Meggy’s arms whenever the Octobot King L3.Gs switched from its vacuum to its fist, the mech lay partially dismantled and smoking on the ground, with Octavio groaning inside of it. The four inklings walked over to the mech.

Craig tapped his cane on the ground disapprovingly, “You put on a weak show, Octavio! Your set list is getting old, or maybe it’s just you! Seriously, that was too easy. It’s like you weren’t even using the great zapfish’s power…”

“Mute it, fool! I didn’t steal the great zapfish this time!”

Craig found himself taken aback, “What?! You didn’t?! But if it wasn’t you, then… who was it?!”

The ground rumbled and cracked underfoot, sending the inklings flying onto their backs. Kenji yelled, “Oh crudcakes, a plot twist! Old man, you okay?”

“I’m not that old, sonny! I’m a spry 130 years old!”

Kenji looked at Craig with a blank expression.

“Okay, I’m actually in excruciating pain. I do a good job of hiding it, tho-”

The ground shattered beneath them, dropping them into a void. The last thing the teenagers heard were the former captain’s screams, before their consciousnesses were lost to the darkness that surrounded them.

“Hello! Hey, you three! Over here!”

Meggy groaned and held her head. She looked over to the side, where Sam and Kenji were waking up next to her. “Guys… I think someone’s calling us.”

“Really?” Sam rubbed his eyes.

The girl’s voice called again, “The inklings with the orange tentacles! Come on!”

“Alright. Guess we’ve got nothing better to do.” Meggy led her companions across the snow-covered island.

The splatsquad had landed on a massive island, surrounded by an enormous dome made of a clear material, with triangle-shaped sections. The water was clear, and the island was covered in scrap metal, fuzzy ooze, stone heads, and other miscellaneous materials. At the center of the island was a rocket that dwarfed nearly everything else.

In front of a pile of wood were three young women. The one in the center was sitting on a small metal container, wearing a blue cap with an emblem on the front, a tattered shirt and leggings that barely reached below her knees, and a pair of sandals. The girl standing on her right had long black and gold hair, wearing an outfit with a black-and-gold color scheme that left her shoulders and arms exposed save for her black-gloved hands. The woman on her left had short white and gold tentacle-hair, wearing an outfit with an identical color scheme that exposed far less skin than her cousin, and holding an umbrella that she occasionally rotated the open top of.

“Hey, wait a second.” Lauren narrowed her yellow eyes before running halfway over to the splatsquad, her long yellow tentacle-hairs waving behind her. “You’re those kids from when we were fighting the Kyanshus! What the hell are you three doing here?!”

“Uh, yeah…” Meggy stepped forward, until there was about a dozen feet between herself and the captain. “That’s kind of a long story.” She spent a few minutes explaining what had led them to the underground. By the time she was finished, they were back at the makeshift camp.

“Okay.” Lauren sat down on the boxes, one leg crossed over the other with her hands on her knee. “You’re either a really good liar, or you’re telling the truth. Honestly, I’ve seen weirder either way. Agent 2.” She jerked her head in the white-haired girl’s direction, “You’re pretty good at reading cephalings. Do you think she’s legit?”

Agent 2 examined Meggy’s face, eyes boring into her own like a metaphysical drill. “Holy squit!” Sam screamed, “You’re the squid sisters, aren’t you! The ones from Inkopolis!”

“You mean as opposed to the squid sisters from New Sardine?” Marie deadpanned, “Also, are you just now noticing that? We’re not even wearing our disguises.” She pointed at her own uncovered face.

“Honestly, in hindsight, I’m kinda surprised the old disguises ever fooled anyone.” Callie admitted, “All we did was slap on a pair of glasses for me, a facemask for you, and a funny hat for each of us and called it a day.”

“Yeah, I always thought you two looked and sounded familiar when I first started.” Lauren added, “Like, really, you didn’t even bother to disguise your voices.”

“Yeah…” Callie admitted, “We really weren’t much of an organization back then.”

“Are you implying that we are now?” Marie raised her eyebrow. Lauren snapped her fingers, calling, “Agent 1, agent 2, focus. We need to deal with these three nubbos.”

“What did she just call us?” Kenji asked, to no response.

“Okay, so, here’s the tour…” Lauren gestured around herself while sitting on the crate, “We think this place is called Alterna. Apparently, it was beneath the crater this whole time. We’ve counted six different islands so far. We’re thinking we should call them sites or something.”

“Hey, captain.” Callie pointed at a structure in another direction, “Are you even gonna mention the gigantic rocket over there?! Look at that!” In the distance, there was a massive rocket ship that easily dwarfed the ark polaris that’d been destroyed years ago, its tip looking poised to stab the domed sky.

“Oh, yeah.” Lauren shrugged, “We’ve got no idea what it does, but we’re pretty sure it’s out of fuel. And besides, there’s way too much fuzzy ooze around it anyway. We’d never access it.”

Marie added, “Anyway… we put a tracking device on gramps, as one does. But now we’re getting a strong signal from three different areas!”

“Let me guess: You want us to split up and investigate all three places at once to see what’s going on, right?” Kenji surmised.

“That depends.” Lauren stood up on the crate, and crossed her arms. “Are you sure you’re up for it? This is uncharted territory, likely filled with unknown dangers. The three of us can handle it just fine, so there’s no shame in turning back now.”

The splatsquad all looked at each other for a few seconds. Meggy turned back to Lauren, grinning. “Are you kidding? Of course we’ll help you; we’ve got nothing else to do today!”

Marie blinked. “That’s your reason? Boredom?”

“Good enough for me!” Lauren somersaulted off the crate and onto the snowy ground. “Alright, here’s the plan. Agent 1, you and the goggles kid will go to site 6.”

“Kenji. My name is Kenji. My boyfriend’s named Sam, and our friend is Meggy.”

“Meggy Spletzer, leader of the splatsquad.” The young girl held her arm out to Lauren. “It’s an honor, sir.”

“Right. Now, agent 2, you and Sam will go to site 4. Meggy and I will investigate site 2.”

Meggy squealed in excitement, “I can’t believe I’m going to fight with agent 3!”

“Yeah yeah, let’s get moving.”

Before they could leave the site through a massive gray pipe, a voice called out, “Hold it right there!” The group paused. Callie asked the three masked figures, one significantly larger than the others, “Who are you supposed to be?”

“Wait…” Kenji thought to himself, “They’re familiar…”

The octoling with blue tentacle-hair, her suction cups barely visible, gripped the bottom edge of her mask. It was white with red markings, shaped vaguely like a shark’s head. “We’re not supposed to be anything…”

“But I’ll tell you who we are.” The inkling with yellow tentacle-hair ripped off her mask, which was brown with white markings, and stylized to resemble an eel’s face. “Say it with sizzle… I’m Frye!”

The octoling tore off her own mask. “You think you’re cool? Sharks call me cold-blooded. But you can call me Shiver!”

“What?!” Kenji yelled, pointing between the three. Big Man was still wearing his horned yellow and brown mask. “What’s Deep Cut doing down here?!”

“The splatlands are our turf!” Frye answered. Shiver nodded sagely. “Only we may loot here.”

Callie muttered, “But… This isn’t the splatlands.” Nobody paid her any mind.

Marie scoffed, “Whatever. What do you want, anyway.” She narrowed her eyes at the trio, “Wait… did you say Deep Cut? The Deep Cut from that Anarchy Splatcast thing?”

Frye bared here unusually sharp fangs at them. “Yeah, it’s called a day job. You should look into it. Banditing is our real passion. Nothing can stop us!”

Shiver tapped her on the shoulder. “Hate to interrupt, Frye, but have you looked around? We’ve hit the jackpot! Who knew this was here? All this time, treasure was just sitting here under the crater. Now it’s ours for the taking!”

Frye pointed at the New Squidbeak Splatoon and splatsquad, taunting them, “So… are you gonna try and stop us or what? Because you totally can’t! We’re taking all of it for ourselves.!”

Callie gaped, “Wow, it’s like they rehearsed this whole thing. they are total pros.”

Frye visibly pouted, “Awww, they don’t seem scared. What do you have to do to scare someone these days?!”

Shiver rolled her eyes, “Not that anyone asked, but I’m over this conversation. The treasure is ours. I’d wish you luck, but… I don’t want to. Catch ya later!” She threw down a smoke bomb, and Deep Cut disappeared.

“Okay, so that just happened.” Meggy looked around, as though searching for the idol newscasters. “So… are we going to do anything about that? What if they try to stop us?”

“I’m sure they won’t cause us any trouble.” Lauren kicked the snow. “It’s not like our goals are really interfering with theirs, after all. Now come on, let’s split up.”

“So, kid, what’s your story?” Lauren looked down at the girl with orange tentacle-hair. They were at the second site, covered in fuzzy ooze with a massive structure in the middle. They’d used an inkrail to reach the top of the structure, where a kettle was covered by black metal.

“Oh, y’know, the usual. My parents and I moved out of Inkopolis a couple years ago after that red giant broke the sky. We realized it wasn’t safe anymore, plus there were rumors about monsters appearing in other towns last year.” She looked up at Lauren, asking, “Did that really happen? Were you guys the ones who stopped the red giant?”

"Yep!" Lauren allowed herself to brag, "He was an elder god called the Scarlet King, who was trying to destroy the multiverse. Fortunately, we gathered an army from a parallel dimension or two, and they helped us perform a ritual that killed him." She fired a few bursts of plasma into the covering, revealing the kettle underneath it. "You ready, kid?"

Meggy nodded. Little Buddy chirped happily in her backpack. "Yeah, we're ready."

"I hope you're right, for your own sake." Lauren and Meggy both shifted into swim form, and absorbed themselves into the kettle.

Chapter Text

The two inklings landed in a small metal chamber, with a hard gray floor partially covered in stickers, tape, and graffiti, The windows on all sides were tinted purple and covered in other stickers of varying designs. Lauren unclipped a small device from her waist, and held it up to the front of the chamber. “I’m getting a strong reading up ahead. It might be Craig!” They pushed through the entrance into the larger area.

“Woah.” Meggy stared out. “This place is huge.” They stood on the precipice of an outcropping of metal, with a blue launchpad at the end. Hanging in the middle of a seemingly bottomless pink-and-purple tinted void was a massive disc platform of a similar material composition. A metal circle with pink lights rotated over it like a decoration, and many gigantic unidentifiable devices hovered in place.

“Yeah. It almost reminds me of the boss kettles in octo valley. Stay on your guard, Spletzer.” Lauren shifted into squid form, and used the launchpad to throw herself into the air. Meggy squeaked, “The captain remembered my last name!” She quickly followed Lauren, and landed behind her on the disc.

“Not so fast!” Frye jumped down, no longer wearing her mask. “You’re pretty tough. I can tell! How about this? You call it quits, join my crew, and we split the treasure!”

“No, Frye, we don’t want your treasure.” Lauren insisted, “Just leave us alone!”

Frye scoffed, “Yeah, right. You wanna resolve this splatlands style, huh? Fine by me! Dance battle to the death!”  The massive husk of an octostomp emerged from the ground, with Frye standing atop it. She took a flute out of her baggy pants, and played it for a second. “Eels, get wriggling out here!” A group of massive, bright yellow moray eels emerged from the octostomp’s facial orifices. “Let’s dance!”

“Alright, so much for talking.” Lauren took out her hero shot DX, “Come on, kid, let’s do this!”

Frye yelled out, “Let’s go! First dance! Eel downpour!” Her eels ascended into the sky. Yellow lights appeared on the ground directly below them, and they descended maw-first.

“Shoot 'em down, kid!” Lauren and Meggy fired plasma at the eels, dodging and rolling as they embedded themselves in the ground. Some of the eels rocketed, screeching, into the octostomp as it spun on its corner. “Woah woah woah!” The metal cube rocked off-balance, until Frye was stunned into paralysis.

“She’s off-balance! Now’s our chance! I’ll go left, you go right, and we’ll get up there to splat her!” Lauren commanded. She and Meggy switched their weapons to ink-firing mode in order to create orange paths to swim through, until they converged on either side of Frye, atop the octostomp remnants. “Keep it in ink mode.” Lauren ordered.

“Well duh, I’m not a psycho!” Meggy followed Lauren in firing orange ink that covered Frye’s entire body. The octostomp jumped, throwing them onto the ground.

Frye shook herself off, spitting ink out of her mouth. “Alright, alright, not bad! You two ready to f-eel the pain? Now…” She jumped, with the octostomp landing on its corner, Frye balanced on another corner. “Watch this! Second dance! Moray whirlpool!” The octostomp rotated at blinding speeds, while the eels slid on the ground around it in a small area, their jaws snapping. Their radius gradually expanded.

“Man, her pun game needs work. More importantly, here’s the plan.” Lauren decided, swapping her weapon back to plasma mode, “I’ll shoot the eels, and you keep the ground inked so we can move.”

“Oh, uh, right.” Meggy swapped into ink mode after attempting to return to the plasma setting.

“Yeah! Let’s make those eels squeal!” The captain fired at the eels. Meggy inked them a path through the field of yellow ink, allowing them to keep pace with Frye’s morays. Lauren shifted and surged just before an eel could snap her in its tooth-filled jaws, turning back into a humanoid in midair to turn around and shoot the eel, all before landing on the orange ink and skidding less than an inch backward.

The eels crashed into the octostomp, throwing Frye off-balance. “Hey! You think you can treat my eels like shrimp? Wrong! All you did was wake us up. I’m firing it up… More-ay power! Good luck!” Lauren called upwards, “Your puns are weak! We’re going to Frye you in batter and batter you until you’re battered and bruised!”

Frye blinked, her jaw hanging open. “Damn.” She looked down to address her pets, “She’s good. Okay then! Third dance! Hundred-eel vision!” An army of massive eels floated and undulated in midair, spitting out spheres of yellow ink. Lauren and Meggy effortlessly dodged and fired plasma, until the eels flew away.

“Alright then, let’s mix it up! Final dance! Great moray transformation!” A massive swarm of seemingly a hundred eels swarmed towards them, snapping their jaws at the other two inklings.

“Dammit!” Lauren started firing, “Dodge to the side when they get too close!”

“This is too close for me!” Meggy lunged aside, landing on her back and firing plasma into the eels’ sides. Lauren jumped over in the other direction as the eels soared past. “Okay, kid, you need to follow my lead. Stay in their path, and don’t dodge until I tell you to.”

“O-okay.” Meggy stood next to Lauren, her knees shaking as the eels turned around in midair. They shot the eels with plasma, until Lauren screamed, “Now! Outta the way!” They leapt in opposite directions, continuing to fire and sending the eels careening into the octostomp remnant.

Frye stumbled, growling, “You two’re way stronger than you look… but you haven’t heard the last of Deep Cut! Bet you’ll miss me!” She threw down a smoke bomb, shattering the cube, and sending her and her eels careening out of sight.

“Hardly!” Lauren called after her. A bridge lowered from a much smaller platform, a few dozen feet above their platform at an angle. “C’mon, Megs, let’s get up there.”

“Right.” Meggy followed the older girl, “But for the record, only Sam and Kenji are allowed to call me that.” Lauren turned back to her, smirking, “And who’s the captain here?” “Right. You are, ma’am.”

Lauren visibly winced, “Oh, ew, don’t call me ma’am. I’m 18. Call me captain, or Lauren.”

“Hey, what’s that?!” Meggy ran past Lauren, running at a silver mass of metal and machinery. Lauren squinted at the thing, glaring as though its enigmatic nature was somehow an affront to her personally. “No clue…” She held up her receiver, “But the reading was coming from this… whatever this thing is. We should probably take it back to the camp to investigate it later.”

“Right. Hey, what’s this?” Meggy took a small disc from on top of the device. “Do you think it might hold a secret message?”

“Dunno.” Lauren admitted, “Good eye, kid.”

Marie and Sam entered a small cubic chamber. The white-haired agent asked, “So, can you hear me with those headphones on?”

“Oh, yeah.” Sam tapped one of the circular parts. “I just wear them because they look cool, that’s all.”

“Right, gotcha. Just making sure.” She held up her signal receiver. “More importantly, I’m getting a reading just up ahead. Come on!” She dragged him by the arm until they reached a launchpad, which sent them flying onto a gargantuan disc of a platform. The entire arena was covered in blue ink.

“Stop where you are.” A metal ring dropped down from the ceiling to surround the arena, with Shiver standing atop it. “You’re after the treasure, aren’t you? You guys have excellent taste, but you’re too delicate to claim this particular item. Don’t you agree?”

“Not even close!” Marie took out her charger. “I don’t want to hurt you, Shiver, but you’ve made an enemy of the New Squidbeak Splatoon! Just let us pass.”

Shiver calmly opened and closed her fan. “Ah, I see. Guess you’re pretty wicked after all. We’ll have to teach you some manners. Join me, Master Mega!” A massive shark swam through the ink, surging to allow Shiver to mount the gray backless leather seat on its back. “Pedal to the megalodon!”

“Alright, kid, watch out.” Master Mega cut through the viscous liquid. Marie ordered, “Okay, Shiver’s too small of a target, so we need to attack the shark. Swap to ink mode.” She demonstrated on her charger.

“Got it.” Sam did the same with his hero shot DX. He ran around the perimeter, firing at Master Mega, while Marie’s longer range allowed her to stay in the center. After a few seconds, the shark breached the surface, launching from its mouth a vertical disc of blue ink. “Oh squit!” Sam jumped out of the way, landing painfully on his side in his haste. Shivr laughed as she continued moving.

After half a minute, Master Mega was stunned into paralysis, throwing Shiver into the center of the arena at Marie’s feet. “Hi!” Marie shot a burst of green ink into Shiver, instantly annihilating her. “Oh no, I killed her.”

“Don’t worry, she’s better now.” Sam pointed to a respawn generator in front of Master Mega’s dorsal fin, where Shiver had already reformed. She backflipped onto the seat, yelling, “You’re pretty tough… for a couple of appetizers. Master! I need you to REALLY focus this time, OK?” *Master mega burst onto the arena, instantly clearing it of ink. “Attaboy, master mega! Let’s FIN-ish this!”

“Oh no, terrible puns!” Sam clasped his hand to his headphones, “My one weakness!”

“I have no such weakness!” Marie aimed her charger at the already-moving shark. “I’ll make you shiver in fear, Shiver!”

After two entire minutes of firing ink at Master Mega, and occasionally tossing splat bombs into its open mouth, Sam landed the third killing strike on Shiver. She stumbled out of the respawn generator, exhausted. “Owww… I think that’s enough of a lesson for today… but you haven’t seen the last of Deep Cut!” She pulled out a smoke bomb, only to fumble and drop it, launching herself and Master Mega out of sight.

“Huh. What a weirdo.” Marie folded her charger and put it on her back, while a launchpad activated nearby. They used it to approach a cluster of metal parts. “Okay, so…” She held up her receiver. “...this is the source of the signal.” She clipped it to her waist. “Well, it’s no gramps, but it’s gotta have some worth. Oh!” She grabbed a disc from on top of the thing. “And this, too. Never leave a strange disc behind.”

Callie and Kenji walked into the arena at site 6, where Big Man was waiting for them. “Ay!”

“Sorry.” Sam admitted, “I’m a big fan of your guys’ music, but we can’t let you stop us.”

“Ay!”

“We can’t surrender, Big Man.” Callie reluctantly prepared her roller. “We’ve come too far for that!”

“Ay!” Big Man formed a sphere of glowing green ink between his massive fins. He dove into the floor, leaving an enormous blue manta-shape that moved across the wooden arena, leaving a trail of viscous blue-green pseudo-ink.

“A phantom manta!” Callie slammed her roller down while dodging, letting the purple ink strike the specter. It split into two smaller halves. “Alright, kid, let’s split up!”

“Alright!” Sam dodged, firing purple ink from his hero shot DX into the phantoms. They split into ever-smaller halves, until a small army was expanding the field of pseudo-ink. “Y’know, manta rays are actually fascinating. They use a substance that’s similar to ink, but they don’t usually participate in turf wars because their fins mean they can’t hold most weapons, and their ink-swimming abilities are so advanced that any team with a manta ray on it pretty much auto-wins.”

“That’s fascinating, Kenji.” Callie swung her roller, eradicating three of the small phantoms simultaneously.

“I’m Sam, Marie.” Sam tossed a splat bomb to destroy all but one manta phantom. “And now we’re even.”

Callie laughed while slamming her roller into Big Man, sending him flopping onto the surface of the arena. “Okay, that’s a good one, Sam. Now finish him!” Sam nodded, and shot Big Man with purple ink.

“Ay!” Big Man dove back into the arena, immediately splitting in two copies while tossing torpedoes at the inklings.

Sam shot the torpedoes out of the air, while Callie attacked Big Man’s silhouettes. She instructed him, “You keep the torpedoes off me and ink the ground, and I’ll take him down!”

Sam spun around, taking out half a dozen torpedoes at once. “Got it! Hey, watch out!” He tackled her to get her away from a splat bomb, landing in the middle of the pseudo-ink. Callie winced as the substance mildly burned her back. “Thanks for the save.” They stood up, inking the ground around them. Sam destroyed the torpedoes and kicked the splat bombs away, while occasionally covering the ground in trails of purple viscosity.

Callie jumped while slamming her roller vertically, annihilating a half dozen phantoms. The furthest one exploded into a twister of ink, forcing Sam to jump away while screaming, “Squit squit squit oh squit!”

“Sorry! I didn’t know he could do that!” Callie swung her roller while spinning in a full circle, revealing Big Man’s true form. “Found you, fake-maker!” She slammed her roller, covering Big Man in purple ink and launching him into the center of the arena.

“Ay!” Big Man resubmerged himself, while four ledges rose out of the floor. Torpedoes, fizzy bombs, and splat bombs were launched from four separate phantoms, while the floor was almost entirely covered in his pseudo-ink.

“Game face, Sam!” Callie swung her roller, creating a trail of purple ink for Sam to swim through, as it was overridden by Big Man near-instantaneously. He launched into the air, turning humanoid and tossing down a splat bomb, sliding in the pseudo-ink while shooting purple liquid at the armada of phantom mantas. After a full minute, Big Man was flopping onto the ground. “Now for the finishing strike!” Sam yelled, firing ink, while Callie jumped and swung her roller vertically. The simultaneous attacks launched Big Man into the center of the arena.

“Ay…” He stumbled, taking out a smoke bomb and dropping it to the ground. When it did nothing, he looked down at it, confused. “Ay?” Big Man kicked the bomb, causing it to explode in a burst of smoke. He was tossed into the air, screaming, “Ayyyyyyyy!”

“Well.” Callie remarked, “That just happened. Sam, that was pretty g- hey what’s that?” She ran over to a platform that’d just descended, holding a metal amalgamation of parts. She held up her receiver. “So this is where the signal was coming from? What a rip-off! This isn’t my gramps! Not unless he got transmogrified somehow. Honestly, there’s a 50/50 chance, knowing us. We should probably take this thing back to the camp to investigate it.”

“Yeah.” Sam took a disc from on top of the object. “And this disc too. I think there might be something on it.”

The six inklings reunited at the squid sisters’ camp in site 1. They explained their encounters with Deep Cut. “Okay, so, did you guys find any weird discs too?” Meggy held up the disc from site 2.

“Yeah.” Kenji held up his own disc, and gestured to the objects they’d collected. “I can’t believe we somehow managed to drag these things all the way over here from the other islands.”

“More importantly, what are we supposed to do with them?” Lauren wondered aloud, “And what’s with these discs?”

“Only one way to find out.” Sam held out his hand to take the other two discs. “Okay, so do you guys have a computer here or anything?”

Minutes later, the other inklings were standing around, watching Sam’s fingers flying across a keyboard. “Wow, this is seriously impressive.” Marie acknowledged, “How’d you learn to do this?”

“Splatsville high has a very efficient tech program. It’s just that these two were too lazy to take it.”

“Ah, c’mon, hon.” Kenji pecked Sam on the cheek. “Every trio needs a science guy, a magic guy, and a spunky leader.”

“Magic?” Lauren questioned, “What do you have to do with magic?”

Before Kenji could respond, Sam yelled out, “I got it! The secrets of Alterna are ours to peruse!” The group crowded around the computer to read the green-tinted words.

“Okay, so… wow. Humanity died out because of constant wars brought out by the advance of technology-”

“Yeah yeah, skip to the good part.” Meggy reached over to scroll down. Sam slapped her hand away, continuing, “Some humans survived in a crater, and used primitive cephalopods as sustenance. Ew. Anyway, they created an AI to record everything that happened called O.R.C.A.: the Omni-”

“Wait, if it’s an AI, does it have anything to do with Tartar?” Lauren asked. Sam performed a brief word search on the keyboard. “Nope. No mention of any Tartar.”

“Okay, just making sure. Carry on.”

“Yes, sir.” Sam scrolled down, speaking out loud, “Okay, so… oh. Wow. Apparently this entire place, Alterna, was created by the surviving humans. And then… something something crystals, something something new sky… oh, here’s something! The humans built a rocket ship to try and escape Alterna, but it… it didn’t work. There was a chain reaction, and the walls shattered.” He forced himself to swallow before continuing, “Alterna was destroyed, and humanity went extinct.”

There was a pause. Sam’s hands were shaking as he scrolled down, briefly closing his eyes. “The crystals fell into the water, and broke into microscopic fragments. They… they… no.” He read and reread the passage. “That’s… no.”

Marie squeezed his shoulders, reading over them. Her eyes widened.

Sam inhaled, long and heavy, before continuing, “The crystals had properties that allowed them to absorb the collective subconscious of humanity. The primitive cephalopods absorbed the micro-crystals into their bodies, and then it, they, um, they caused an accelerated evolution. That’s…” He held one hand to his forehead, and the other to his chest. “That’s where we came from. Crystals.”

Kenji leaned down to hug his boyfriend. “It’s okay, sweetie. This is… it’s a lot to process. Do you want to keep reading?” Sam couldn’t stop himself from shaking. “No, but I feel like we should.” He continued, “Five thousand years after cephalopods became the dominant species, there was an inkling who was known as a prophet, who brought about the foundations of modern civilization. That’s about it.” He slowly closed the laptop.

“Okay.” Lauren walked away, speaking to herself, “That was revealing, but we should probably worry about that later. For now…” She looked over at the three objects they’d collected. “We need to figure out what to do next.” Her communicator started beeping, simultaneous with Callie and Marie’s. “Oh, wait.” She pulled it out.

“Hey, gramps is calling us!” Callie turned it on. “Hey, gramps, you’ve got all three of us! What’s going on? Where are you?”

“Callie, Marie. My darlings. You’re OK!” The former captain’s voice came through, quieter than it should’ve been. Marie practically yelled into her device, “Forget that! Are you OK?!”

“Oh, sure. I mean, I’m locked in some kinda dark room, which I guess ain’t exactly ideal… I’ll see if I can break out. Over!”

“Wait, wait, sir! Craig! Whichever!” Lauren blurted, “Don’t do anything rash, please!”

Static came from the older inkling’s end, until his voice resumed, “Someone’s coming!”

Another voice, deep and unfamiliar, came through, “Ah. You’ve awoken from your hibernation, have you? Cuttlefish!”

“Gramps, who is that?!” Callie screamed, “What’s going on?!” Her grandfather answered, “That’s what I wanna know! Identify yourself!” The unseen figure laughed. It sounded like something growling. “You’re lively for an old bag of… does your species have bones? No matter! You can call me Mr. Grizz.”

Lauren dropped her communicator into the snow. She screamed, “What?! The owner of Grizzco?! The salmon run guy?! That Mr. Grizz?!”

“Gramps, please, where are you?” Marie begged. She was only greeted by half a minute of static, followed by her grandfather, “Okay, I don’t know where I am, but my knees are aching something fierce. That probably means I’m somewhere high up!”

“Well, well. Your injured knee may have betrayed this location, but don’t expect any workers’ comp! Thank you for this, by the way. I won’t underestimate the legendary leader of the Squidbeak Splatoon again. I’ll just go ahead and deal with you now… before you become an actual inconvenience.”

“Oh, well, that’s a funny story you see. I’m not actually the- wait, what’s that?!” The transmission abruptly cut off.

“Gramps!” Callie frantically tried to call him, again and again, to no avail. “Gramps, no! Please, no!”

“We.. we need to save him!” Marie pointed at the rocket ship. “That’s the highest-up place here, so it’s gotta be where he is! It’s the only thing we’ve got!”

“Okay, but what do we do about all that fuzzy ooze?” Meggy pointed at the ocean of fuzzy ooze surrounding the base of the rocket.

“It’s probably got something to do with those so-called treasures we’ve collected from Deep Cut.” Sam knocked on one of the objects. Kenji nodded, “That would make sense with basic pacing techniques.” Everyone at the camp turned to look at him. “I’m not elaborating.”

“Okay, guys, hear me out.” Lauren suggested, “What if these things are supposed to combine somehow? Maybe they could form a device that’ll help us remove all that fuzzy ooze!”

“It’s worth a shot.” Callie decided.

After nearly an hour of pushing, pulling, attaching and detaching and reattaching, the New Squidbeak Splatoon had assembled a senseless mishmash of metal parts. “Well it ain’t pretty, but the only thing that matters is getting the job done!” Marie grinned at the makeshift device.

“Alright.” Lauren gripped the handles. “Let’s see what this thing’s capable of!” She kicked down on a pedal at the base of the machine, leaning back while pulling both handles as far down as they’d go. An explosion of yellow ink burst out of the device, in a concentrated beam that pierced the fuzzy ooze. Lauren steered the device, vibrating loudly and rapidly, cutting entire swaths through the fuzzy ooze. After ten seconds, she fell backwards off the device. “Did… did we win?”

Callie and Marie looked over the ocean of pristine water that contained the rocket. “Yup!” Marie congratulated her, “So smooth… it’s smoother than my skin now.” 

“That’s weird, Marie. It’s just weird. More importantly, let’s save gramps!” Callie pointed up at the tip of the rocket.

“Hey, captain, are you okay?” Meggy helped Lauren to her feet. The older girl yelped and collapsed, as her knee gave out under her. “My back!” She breathed heavily, wincing in pain. “Man, that… that stings. I think I pulled something.” She turned to lay down on her back in the snow, her entire body heaving with every breath. “You guys… go on… without me.”

“Don’t worry, captain.” Kenji ran towards the rocket. “There’s no way we’d let you down after coming this far!”

“Y’know. I’ve gotta admit.” Lauren muttered, deliriously, “Those vibrations actually felt kind of nice.”

Marie blinked at her superior. “Ew.”

“Wait one hot minute!” The group, save for Lauren, turned to find Deep Cut approaching them from a nearby slope. Frye continued, “That’s right. It’s us! You didn’t think we were going to just give up, did you? Tell me you didn’t!”

Shiver added, “Giving up is for the weak. Do we look weak?” Frye grinned toothily, “So! Last chance. If you don’t want to tangle with Deep Cut, put down the treasure and walk away.”

Marie shrugged, “Oh, that thing? Yeah, we’re done with it. It’s all yours.”

Shiver nearly dropped her fan in surprise. “You’re done with it? Done… with treasure? What’s wrong with you?”

“Plenty!” Callie cheerfully confirmed, “But don’t worry about that. If this pile of junk makes you happy, you can have it!”

Shiver eyed her suspiciously. “This is a trick, right?”

Frye scoffed in agreement, “You expect us to believe you’re just going to give us the treasure? After, well, everything? Hey, wait, why am I fighting this? Thanks! I feel kind of, I dunno, not good, I guess, about each of us fighting you to the death. Our bad. And you’re just giving us this! Seriously. Such a boss move. Actually, wait, why don’t YOU be our boss?”

“Wait, you were trying to kill us?” Kenji asked in mild alarm

“Boss Marie?!” Callie laughed, elbowing her cousin, “Looks like you have your own employees now. Have fun with that!”

Marie lowered her forehead into her hands. “Oh… I’m gonna have to approve their time cards, aren’t I? Okay, we’d better get you three caught up, but there’s no time to waste. You three!” She pointed at the splatsquad, “Think you’re up for it?”

After half an hour, Meggy, Sam, and Kenji were sprinting across an echoing metal ramp that constantly turned in right angles. They heard Mr. Grizz’s voice emanating from unseen speakers, “There are three components to my business plan: the vessel, the spirit, and the wisdom of ages. Someone is taking notes, yes? your brain, ensconced though it may be in your hideous form, contains the beautiful essence I need!”

“Hey!” The former captain yelled, “What’re you blathering about? Don’t come any closer! Leave my brain outta this! Hey! What’s that for? Get away from me!” He screamed, gutturally and painfully, as the audio was overtaken by static.

“No no no!” Meggy forced herself to run faster, stumbling from her exhaustion and the slope of the walkway. “We’ve gotta save him! No matter what!” At the top of the ramp, just in front of a narrow metal walkway without any slopes, Kenji placed a teleport beacon.

Sam turned on his communicator to call Lauren. “Hey, uh, captain? I think you and the others should come up here. We’ve got a beacon, and I don’t think the captain’s doing so well. You up for it?”

“Yeah. A little back pain isn’t going to keep me down for long, especially not when the ex-captain’s life is at stake! We’ll be right there.” The communicator turned off. Meggy was already sprinting across the walkway, the metal echoing hollowly with every step. “Come on! We’ve gotta save that old man!” Sam and Kenji followed her, while Callie, Marie, and Lauren teleported onto the rocket.

“Gramps!” Callie yelled, “We’re here to save you!” The six inklings sprinted to the platform at the end of the walkway. A gray, dried-out squid lay on the ground, eyes closed.

Marie nearly threw up. “What?” Callie screamed, “Gramps! No!” Lauren trailed slightly behind the group, panting and muttering, “Okay… maybe I shoulda taken a longer break. Wait, am I delirious, or does that pile of fuzzy ooze have a face?”

“Oh!” Callie yelped, “It does! Are- are you Mr. Grizz?!”

The massive pile of fuzzy ooze moved away from the wall. It was in the shape of a massive, 20-foot bear, with an anomalously small face. “Welcome.”

Callie growled, her roller in hand, face contorted in rage. “Hey, you overgrown furball! Turn gramps back into gramps!”

Mr. Grizz’s voice was monotone and robotic. “Valued employees, we appreciate your feedback. However, it will not be implemented at this time.”

Marie readied her charger. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

The floor trembled. The inklings stumbled, nearly falling over, while a voice counted down from 12. “What’s happening?!” Meggy screamed. Sam grabbed her by the shoulders to stabilize the both of them. “I think that voice is human. It must be a pre-recording!” Kenji grabbed both of their shoulders. “I’m scared to ask, but what does that mean?!”

Mr. Grizz jumped onto the side of the rocket ship, as it ascended away from the platform the inklings were standing on. He spoke over the deafening roar of the engines, “It means the end of your employment, and the end of the world as you know it, to be clear. As per my memo, I will be coating the planet in fuzzy ooze in an effort to restore balance.”

“No!” Lauren screamed, stumbling forward and struggling to stand upright. She yelled through clenched teeth, “We won’t let you start your… weird… ‘hairmageddon’!”

Mr Grizz almost rolled his small, beady eyes. “Don’t call it “Hairmageddon”. HR doesn’t like it.”

The air cooled as the flames of the rocket’s engines ascended into the atmosphere. Callie reached out to it in vain, gasping, “No! The rocket!”

“Gramps!” Marie lamented, “He’s… he’s all dried up…”

“No!” The captain ran over to her predecessor, kneeling on the cold metal and holding the tiny, drained form of her predecessor. “No, I, I refuse to believe that! I know he was old, but he still had decades left! He changed my life! I- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I-I-I failed. If I hadn’t gotten hurt, or if I’d kept a closer eye on Grizzco, or if I’d just been better, none… none of this would’ve happened. It’s my fault the captain got hurt, and now… the world’s in danger again, and it’s because of me. I’m sorry.” She failed to stop herself from tearing up. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-”

“Hey, Lauren, look!” Callie yelled to get her attention. “Huh?” Lauren opened her eyes, wiping them blearily. Her tears absorbed themselves into the captain’s dried-out body, causing his color to change from gray to a subdued brown. He floated in midair, eyes wide open and tentacles dangling flat below him.

Callie did a double-take at the sight. “Woah! Gramps, you’re okay!”

“Oh come on!” Kenji threw his arms into the air, “Her tears bright him back from the dead?! What a cop-out!” The flat squid slapped him with a tentacle. “Now who says I was dead, sonny? All that overgrown pile of fuzzy ooze managed to do was knock me unconscious! Still, I was lucky that the new captain’s tears were wet enough to rehydrate me.” He turned around to address his successor, “Good thinking, sir!”

“Oh, right.” Lauren stood up, blinking her red eyes. “All part of the plan. So, uh, how are you floating? And also talking in squid form?”

“You learn how to do a lot of things when you get to be my age, sir.”

“Thank goodness you’re, uh, alright… ish… Hey, wait!” Callie remembered, “We’re still in danger! The rocket! The fuzz!”

Marie looked up, squinting as though searching for the long-gone rocket. “But we’ll never catch that rocket. It’s impossible. What can we do?”

The metal of the catwalk echoed loudly, catching the group’s attention. They turned to see Deep Cut sprinting over to them. Frye waved, calling over, “Hold up a sec! Sounds like you folks need some help. And Deep Cut is here to steal the spotlight! Swirl it up, eels!” She gestured skyward, calling forth an army of massive yellow eels. They ascended past the rocket, forming a massive tornado of yellow ink.

Shiver opened her fan. “Your turn, Master Mega!” Her megalodon slid across the medal onto the middle of the platform, now holding three seats.

“Ay!” Big Man held out three headphones, encased in translucent multicolored orbs.

“Whoah.” Meggy took a piece of headwear. “You mean these’ll let us breathe in space?!”

“Ay!”

“Dude, that’s awesome! Yo, lovebirds!” She tossed the other two helmets over to Sam and Kenji, “Helmet-headphones for space travel!”

“Neat.” Kenji slid one of the helmets onto his head. “And surprisingly comfortable.”

“Unless anyone else wants to go instead…?” Sam hesitated.

“I’d love to, but it’d be real embarrassing if the world was destroyed because my leg gave out again.” Lauren refuted. Callie nodded in agreement, “Marie and I have weapons that probably won’t work great on a giant moving object in zero-G. What about you two?” She pointed at Deep Cut. Frye shrugged in response, “Hey, I know the three of us are awesome and all, but we just ran across, like, a mile of metal ramps, and this whole day has really taken a lot out of us. Plus, my eels and master mega can’t breathe in space, so, y’know…”

“Alright.” Meggy accepted. The splatsquad mounted the seats on the back of the shark.

“Remember, Master Mega, you need to get them outta the atmosphere or we’re all fuzzed!” Shiver commanded. Master mega leapt off the platform, falling for a hundred feet until it landed in the ink tornado.

“I just want you guys to know…” Meggy tried to look back, only to find herself looking directly down. “Nope!” She turned back around, looking straight up, clenching her eyes shut and trying to force down the bile in her throat. “Okay. I just want you guys to know, I love you.”

“What, in case we die?!” Sam yelled from behind and below Kenji.

“No, of course not! We’re going to win, and the world’s going to be saved just like always!” Master Mega launched out of the top of the ink tornado, flipping in midair to launch the splatsquad skyward.

Chapter Text

The trio of teenaged inklings skidded on the surface of the rocket, while Little Buddy bounced onto its surface. Meggy hurriedly snatched up her pet to place him in the safety of her backpack. Kenji walked forward, asking, “Wait. Where’s Mr.-” The rocket shook. Sam stumbled between his teammates, grabbing both of their arms before they fell. “Found him.” He gestured with his head, as Mr. Grizz rose from the pile of fuzzy ooze.

“Well, well. Such dedication to your work. I think you’ve earned yourself a break. Now come here…” Five curved claws, the size of an inkling, emerged from each paw. “...so I can break you.”

“We’re going to break you!” Meggy shot ink to swim through the orange substance. “Guys, come on, let’s go!” Sam and Kenji diverged with their own orange paths. Mr. Grizz launched inkstrikes at them, forcing them to dodge the explosive tornadoes of purple ooze. Meggy nearly backed up into a wall of fuzzy ooze. She screamed in pure, guttural terror, jumping forward. “Ow ow ow ow!” She stumbled away from the ooze. “Guys, that, that purple stuff isn’t ink. It burns way too much.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Sam winced. “Okay, we need to do something about that ooze.” He pointed at the unnatural barricade. “There’s some golden eggs, so just feed those to LB and let him work his magic.”

“Okay.” Meggy inhaled, hesitantly pulling out her smallfry. “You ready, Little Buddy? It’s time to save the world.” She collected the three nearby golden eggs, fed them to Little Buddy, and tossed him into the pulsating core of the fuzzy ooze barricade.

“It’s open!” Kenji grinned. The three raced across the rocket, dodging inkstrikes until they approached Mr. Grizz. He swung his paws vertically, forcing them to dodge away from five swaths of purple liquid. “There’s something weird on his chest!” He pointed at a glowing red spot on Mr. Grizz.

“Got it!” Meggy, Sam, and Kenji swapped their weapons to plasma mode. They all fired simultaneously, shattering the spot and revealing a pulsating, massive glob of pink and purple fuzzy ooze. “Now!” Meggy grabbed a half dozen golden eggs, allowing Little Buddy to devour the fuzzy ooze from Mr. Grizz.

The ancient bear roared in pain, absorbing himself into the fuzzy ooze. Sam stumbled forward in surprise. “He… he’s got an ink form! Why does he have an ink form?!”

The bear reformed further back on the rocket. “You’re not clocking out that easily. After all, this is a setback. And this is a growth industry!” He slammed his fists into the ground, causing the ship to quake.

The trio of inklings looked at each other, and wordlessly nodded, before running towards their opponent. He curled into a ball and rolled perpendicular to them, causing the entire massive ship to rotate sideways. “Guys!” Meggy grabbed Sam and Kenji’s arms, pulling them up. “Thanks.” Sam acknowledged, “Come on, we need to go that way.” They sprinted diagonally, staying on top of the rocket while dodging piles of fuzzy ooze. A group of fur-covered octotroopers rose from the metal surface, shooting purple ink at the three. They dodged the shots, while Meggy took her salmonid out of her backpack.

“Okay, Little Buddy. See that shielded guy?” She pointed at the octotrooper in the center, differentiated by the clear shield in front of it, “I need you to attack it with everything you’ve got!” She lobbed the amphibian over the shield, letting it bite the octotrooper mercilessly while she fired plasma into two of its comrades. Sam and Kenji jumped over another two shots, launching simultaneous bursts of plasma from midair to annihilate the final octotroopers.

“No no no no!” Kenji grabbed Sam by the shoulders, dragging him up as their feet slipped off the curvature of the ship. Meggy frantically reached out to them, yelling, “Shift!” The two boys turned into squid form, allowing Meggy to pull them to safety by their tentacles.

Sam and Kenji turned back into humanoids,whereupon all three of them had to dodge a swipe of Mr Grizz’s claws. They fired several bursts of plasma at the pulsating red spot on the ursine anomaly’s chest, until it burst apart into a glimmering pustule. “Guys, now’s our chance!” Meggy grabbed a golden egg to feed it to Little Buddy, while Sam and Kenji collected another two each and threw them over.

“Thanks!” Meggy fed the golden eggs to Little Buddy and tossed him, glowing orange, at the pustule. “Go for it, little guy!” Little Buddy devoured the pulsating orb, causing Mr Grizz to snarl in pain and sink into the rocket.

“Okay, guys, looks like we’ve got some room to breathe.” Meggy picked Little Buddy up and placed him back in her bag.

“Not much!” Kenji pointed further back along the rocket, where Mr. Grizz rose from the fuzzy ooze. “Is it just me, or does he look a little bigger?”

“He’s probably absorbing the fuzzy ooze into himself.” Sam realized, “He’s gotta be practically made of the stuff at this point!” They sprinted across the metal, forced to jump over a crevice filled with fuzzy ooze, until three loud ringing sounds echoed from above them.

Kenji looked up, identifying the projectiles, “Oh nuts, inkstrikes!” The group of teenagers sprinted forward, turning to the side in order to dodge the tornadoes of purple sludge that rose above the metal. A multitude of furry octotroopers and octocopters appeared before them, forcing them to shoot them down with plasma. They grabbed the seven golden eggs near the massive bear.

Mr. Grizz roared, swinging his clawed hand. The splatsquad dodged between the lines of purple slime, only for the other hand to swipe at them from the other side. They launched themselves away from the bear, inadvertently falling onto the metal surface.

“Sam…Kenji… get up.” Meggy stood up, hero shot DX still drawn. “Are we going to let this fuzzball take the earth?”

“Hell no.” Kenji stood up with his hand out. Sam accepted the unspoken offer, agreeing, “Yeah. Come on, hon, let’s save the world already. Yo, Spletzer! Get ready; we’re gonna egg you!” They both tossed two golden eggs at Meggy.

“Thanks, guys!” Meggy swung her arm to catch the eggs out of the vacuum of space. “Okay, Little Buddy.” She fed him the golden eggs, causing the salmonid to glow a radiant orange. “This is- oh wait!”

Mr. Grizz launched another three inkstrikes, forcing the splatsquad to retreat. The last of the inkstrikes erupted directly behind them, throwing them off the surface. They flew several dozen feet, bruising themselves when they each struck the metal twice, before skidding to a stop with trails of orange ink-blood.

“Ah, geez.” Meggy stood up, wiping a trickle of ink-blood from her mouth. “Hey Sam, just out of curiosity…” She glanced over at the mass of sentient fuzzy ooze, “...what are the odds we could evacuate the entire planet before this rocket crashes and turns the world into a giant space-fuzzball?”

Sam crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow in response. Meggy sighed, “Right. I figured. Guess we’ll just have to go all out, then!” She sprinted across the rocket, despite the fact she was limping and dripping orange liquid.

“I swear, she’s going to get us killed one of these days.” Kenji muttered, following Meggy alongside Sam. Mr Grizz’s roaring echoed across the length of the rocket, inkstrikes and fuzzy octarians impeded their path, and Mr Grizz occasionally rotated the vessel, forcing them to run at an angle lest they fall into the vacuum of space.

Eventually, Meggy used the top of a fuzzy octotrooper’s head as a springboard, tossing Little Buddy at the welt on Mr. Grizz’s chest. Still glowing with the power of the golden eggs, he devoured the welt. Mr Grizz roared in agony, launching the salmonid back into his owner’s arms. With his entire front torso partially covered in orange ink, he groaned, “You are proactive, aren’t you? But it’s time to clock out. In a few moments, earth will be ruled by mammals once again.”

The rocket trembled underfoot. The metal plates individually quaked and began to rupture at the seams. The bolts that held the vessel together flew out of orbit. The entire rocket increased in temperature until it was nigh-intolerable. “Guys, we need to run, now!” Sam practically screeched, dragging Sam and Meggy away from Mr. Grizz by their arms.

Mr Grizz bellowed in rage, as the rocket erupted into flames and ink. The explosion launched the three inklings into the void of the cosmos, with no gravity to control their own movement through the cosmic infinitum.

“No!” Meggy screamed. She desperately tried to move, to reach out to the massive bear rocketing towards the blue-green world, to no avail. “No.” Her voice cracked and quieted, and she began to cry inside the helmet that kept her from suffocating. “No, we… we can’t lose! We’ve come so far! Everyone’s counting on us!” She reached her arms out, as though trying to swim through space, only to find it a fruitless endeavor.

Sam tapped her on the shoulder from behind. “Megs, look. Behind you.”

“Huh?” Meggy turned around, in the direction her friends were facing. Through bleary eyes, she could see a pinprick of light. It was too small to make out, yet moving too fast to be a star. As it got closer, its shape became more pronounced.

“Sam…” Kenji hesitated, “...is that…?” Sam nodded, “Yep. A giant robot riding on that octo-bot we fought earlier.” His eyes were wide with sheer disbelief. The humanoid robot stood some hundred feet tall, with a yellow head, green torso, and purple legs. It held out its hand, taking the splatsquad onto its open palm.

“You kids really thought we’d leave you hanging like that?” Looking up into the windows consisting of the mech’s eyes, the splatsquad could see Lauren flanked by a green-tentacled inkling and a purple-tentacled octoling. “I just called in agent 4 and agent 8.”

“Name’s Marcus, and my sister Katherine is agent 8.” Agent 4 clarified, “She’s adopted, so that’s how we’re… y’know.”

“Like it matters! This bear’s going down, same as anyone who tries to destroy our world!” Katherine yelled, “Like it or not, the mammals’ time is over!”

“Awesome!” Sam tapped his foot on the palm, “But what is this?”

“Sheldon created it from some blueprints we found in my evil former parents’ place. Long story. We call it the New Squidbeak UltraMech!”

“Don’t forget I’m here, too!” Octavio laughed from below them, “Come on, Squidbeak! It’s time to crash his big finish!”

“Wait, Octavio’s on our side?!” Meggy startled.

“Think about it, inksquirt! If that overly nostalgic pile of bootleg ink wins, we all lose! We can’t let him drop his beat on our turf!” Kenji shrugged, “Seems legit.”

“Hey, DJ!” Lauren called down, “You got the others on speaker?!”

“You got it, little captain! The squid sisters and Deep Cut are communicating with us through my Octobot King L3.Gs!”

“He’s right!” Callie yelled from the speaker, “It’s time for the greatest music collaboration in the universe! Everyone ready?”

Shiver opened her fan, waving it around herself. “The waves crash! The waters surge! The shark taming bandit, Shiver Fuka!”

Frye snapped her fingers. “The desert blazes! The volcanoes burst! The eel taming bandit, Frye Utsuho!”

“Ay!”

“First agent of the New Squidbeak Splatoon! Mistress of the roller, Callie Cuttlefish!”

“Second agent of the New Squidbeak Splatoon! Mistress of the charger, Marie Cuttlefish!”

“Third agent and second captain of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, Lauren Laker!”

“Fourth agent and ambassador to the Wanderer’s Library, Marcus Myers!”

“Bane of the Deepsea Metro, destroyer of commander Tartar, Katherine Kyanshu-Myers!”

“Fiery-hearted wielder of the tri-stringer, Meggy Spletzer!”

“Oh, we’re actually doing this? Um, uh, intelligent wielder… of the… roller…or something… Sam Sheridan…!”

“Uh… enig… matic… wielder of the charger… Kenji Kisaragi!”

“The greatest musician who ever lived! DJ Octavio!”

“Yeah, sure you are, big guy.” Frye snickered. “Ay?” “No, sorry, not you. The big octo guy.” “Ay.”

“Shut up.” Octavio deadpanned.

Outside of the mechs, a musical beat gradually grew louder; the squid sisters’ music combined with Deep Cuts’. The former captain yelled, “Hit it, David!”

Octavio started playing the turntables using two giant wasabi sticks held in his tentacles. “That heavenly melody!”

“This is a new song!” Callie yelled, “Calamari Inkantation 3MIX!”

Little Buddy levitated off the UltraMech’s hand, glowing bright blue. The glow became brighter by the second, until it was blinding. In an explosion of light and sound, the smallfry completely transformed. It became a silver-scaled fish, the size of the rocket, with a massive curved fang protruding from its lower jaw. Its roar could be heard through the vacuum of space.

“What’s going on?! Little Buddy!” Meggy called out to her pet. Frye laughed in celebration, “It is as it was foretold! Hugefry’s been born!”

The former captain informed them, “This unprecedented song’s caused marine life energy to flow up there!”

Shiver’s voice could be heard, “Three lights, united to consume the disaster!”

“Alright!” Meggy pointed at Mr. Grizz. “Little Buddy, you heard her! It’s your time to shine!” The hugefry snarled, and dove at Mr Grizz.

“We’ve gotta help him.” Lauren decided, “You kids stay here, and we’ll go out.” The UltraMech set the splatsquad down, onto the flat circular top of the Octobot King L3.Gs, before jumping into space. “Hugefry!” Lauren called, “Over here, boy!” The hugefry swam through the cosmos towards the mecha, allowing it to drop onto his back. The ultramech leaned forward, holding onto the hugefry with one hand and taking a sword off its back. The blade was long and sharp, pointed directly at Mr. Grizz. The three teenagers cried out in unison, “ Guardian of the cosmos! New Squidbeak UltraMech! ”

Spheres of fuzzy ooze fell off of Mr. Grizz, orbiting around him as he stood on the remnants of the rocket. A hatch opened in the center of the Octobot King L3.Gs, as Octavio laughed, “Pilot hatch unlocked! One of you kids, hop in and introduce those Fuzzballs to my ink vac!”

“I’ll go in and use the ink vac.” Meggy decided, “You two, stay out here and make sure nothing happens to the ship.”

“You got it.” Sam confirmed. Kenji agreed, “We won’t let you down.”

“You haven’t yet.” Meggy shook both their hands, and dove into the pilot hatch. She stayed in squid form, with a small pool of orange ink to prevent her from draining herself. She could see through a window, and the vessel responded to her thoughts.

Sam and Kenji stood atop the Octobot Kink L3.Gs, watching as the ink vac stretched out towards Mr Grizz, a few hundred feet away and growing closer by the second. “Hey, sweetheart.” Kenji spoke quietly, lacing his fingers with Sam’s, “In case we don’t make it, I love you. And I’d be happy to die with you.”

“No, Kenji, don’t talk like that.” Sam turned Kenji so they were facing each other, holding his boyfriend by the side with one arm. “We’re going to win, okay?” They leaned forward so their helmets touched by their foreheads. “Everyone’s counting on us, and everyone’s on our side. Just listen to the song.”

The three different bands’ music combined into a single unified sound. It carried an indescribable sense of hope, as though all life were being carried through the music. Kenji grinned. “Yeah. We’re not gonna lose.” Two fuzzy octotroopers appeared on the vessel with them. “Then let’s prove it!” Sam yelled. They both fired a burst of plasma, annihilating both of their opponents.

The hugefry clamped its jaws around Mr. Grizz’s arm, sharp teeth digging into the fur and shaking. The UltraMech swung its sword, striking the bear across the chest multiple times. Mr Grizz, now as tall as the ship’s length, roared loud enough to nearly deafen them. “We’ve gotta destroy the cores!” Lauren pointed out of the window, at a massive blue-white pustule just below them. The UltraMech stabbed the pustule, only for it to bend around the blade, repelling it entirely.

The Octobot King L3.Gs quickly approached the pustule after the UltraMech’s failed attack, attaching the ink vac to it. A small group of fuzzy octotroopers surrounded Kenji and Sam on all sides, while they were standing back-to-back. “Come on!” Kenji swept his arm to the side while firing, killing several fuzzy octotroopers, “We’re fired up!”

The remaining octotroopers spat globs of purple pseudo-ink. Sam dove under the strikes and rolled behind the octotroopers, shooting down three of them in a row. He jumped over to the middle of the vessel with Kenji, where they destroyed the final three octotroopers in a second. The enormous glistening orb exploded, partially covering Mr. Grizz in orange ink.

“Bad news, inksquirts!” Octavio called upwards, “Looks like there’s only 2 and a half minutes before that overgrown fuzzball crashes into the earth!”

“Then we’ll just have to stop him before then!” Sam called down, “Hey Megs, get us over to the next core!” Meggy steered the ship over to Mr. Grizz’s side, while the hugefry and the UltraMech continued to battle Mr. Grizz. Spheres of fuzz floated in a massive circle, discolored with blue-white flecks. “What are those things?” Kenji wondered aloud.

“I’m not sure, but I think they might be fake fuzzballs.” Sam answered, “They’re probably meant to stop us from getting to the fuzz cores.” Meggy piloted the ship below the fake fuzzballs, stretching out the nozzle of the ink vac to strike at the second core. A group of fuzzy octotroopers, one shielded, appeared alongside a small group of fuzzy octocopters.

“Come at us!” Sam fired plasma at the fuzzy octocopters while dodging their own attacks. Kenji sprinted forward while firing at the octotroopers. He rolled past the shielded octotrooper to shoot it from behind. “Got ’em!” He took a few steps over to high-five Sam, just as the second core was annihilated.

Mr. Grizz took the hugefry’s tail in one hand, grabbed his lower jaw with the other, and pulled on both ends. The hugefry roared in pain. Katherine realized, “He’s trying to rip Little Buddy in half!”

“Then let’s do something about it!” Marcus decided. The UltraMech pulled its arm back, and plunged its sword into Mr Grizz’s beady eye. The bear released the hugefry, grabbing his eye and bellowing in agony. The hugefry swung its tail into Mr Grizz’s torso, causing him to nearly lose his balance while the splatsquad destroyed the third fuzzy ooze core.

“Yes!” Kenji threw his arms upwards, “Alright Megs, on to the final core!”

“We’d better hurry.” Octavio informed the teenagers, “It looks like we’ve only got a minute to lay the beatdown on this guy!”

The Octobot King L3.Gs accelerated through space as it approached the final welt. Multiple groups of fuzzy octarians, of multiple varieties, appeared in rapid succession. Sam and Kenji jumped and sprinted across the top of the vessel, constantly turning to shoot their enemies. Kenji jumped off an octostamp while it was face-down, shooting in midair to destroy the octostamp and a few octotroopers by firing behind their shields.

Sam dodged multiple globs of violet pseudo-ink while shooting down the octocopters. An octotrooper shot him from behind, where he couldn’t see it. The pseudo-ink burned through his shirt and skin, causing him to scream in blinding pain. Everything went black. He realized he’d fallen when the metal struck his face.

Kenji heard a scream of agony. “Sam!” he turned around to witness his boyfriend collapsing to the ground. There was a splotch of pseudo-ink burned into his shoulder, and an octotrooper stood behind him. Kenji yelled out in rage, “Monster! Get away from him!” He jumped over to the octotrooper, grabbing it by the tentacle.

Kenji’s eyes flashed red. His hand glowed scarlet, tightening around the octotrooper. His voice deepened significantly, “I’m going to send you straight to hell for hurting him.” The octotrooper warbled in fear. The other octarians ignored Sam, backing away from Kenji. Some of them fell off into space in the process. Kenji lifted his opponent off of the surface of the vessel. He tightened his grip.

The octarian burst apart. Purple pseudo-ink and brown fuzz dripped onto the vessel and dissolved. Kenji gasped, the red aura disappearing. “Uh… what…? Sam!” He sprinted over to his boyfriend, and knelt down to face him. “Sam, can you hear me?”

Sam looked up. He could see flashes of his surroundings. Kenji almost looked as though he was lifting a fuzzy octotrooper with a single arm. After blinking, the octotrooper had disappeared.

Sam heard Kenji’s voice, nearby yet distorted, “Sam, can you hear me?” Sam’s thoughts raced. He muttered, “Y… yeah. It… hurts…”

“Okay.” Kenji held his boyfriend by his uninjured shoulder. He looked off to the side, where the ink vac was attacking the final core of the fuzzy ooze. “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He took some gauze out of his satchel, and wrapped it around Sam’s wound. “It’s not perfect, but hopefully it’ll work until we get back to earth.”

“Thanks.” Sam leaned forward to kiss the other inkling, while Kenji helped him stand upright. Mr. Grizz roared, as the last of his cores was destroyed. Meggy jumped out of the pilot hatch. “Alright, we did it! Sam, what happened to you?”

Before Sam could answer, Octavio yelled, “Alright kids, next step! Give ol’ Grizzy a taste of his own medicine!” The ink vac collapsed and rearranged itself, transforming from a vacuum into a cannon.

“You got it!” Meggy ran over to the weapon, her entire body vibrating with excitement. “Come on, boys, let’s finish this together!”

“You okay, Sam?” “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

The splatsquad all took hold of the ink cannon. Octavio yelled, “10 seconds left! Hurry up!”

“ FIRE! ” A massive beam of orange ink, as wide as an ancient stone pillar, shot out at Mr Grizz’s chest. The hugefry retreated, with the UltraMech still riding on his back.

The UltraMech held onto the hugefry as it abruptly swam away from its fight with Mr Grizz. “Girls, look!” Marcus pointed at the ink-beam striking their opponent. “Awesome!” Lauren threw her fist into the air, “Who knew Octavio would actually come through for us?” Katherine bent her knuckles. “Well, we can’t just let the newbies take the spotlight from us, now can we?”

The UltraMech’s sword folded in on itself multiple times, until it transformed into a two-handed cannon. “ New Squidbeak UltraMech final splat! ” The cannon fired a beam of plasma, converging with the beam of orange ink on Mr. Grizz’s chest.

The earth grew closer.

Everything was on fire as they reentered the atmosphere.

Sam’s shoulder screeched in pain.

The UltraMech nearly fell apart.

The song ended.

Mr. Grizz roared in fury.

Everything went white.

Mr. Grizz, covered in a viscous orange fluid and standing atop a skeletal hull of a spaceship, spoke in a despairing tone, "It seems all of my work… has been for nothing. The times have changed. The world can never be as it was. Moving forward… is the future. I suppose this is it, then. You will not receive severance paaaaaay…"

What was left of the rocket, once a monument left behind by humanity over thousands of years, erupted into an inferno of fire and ink. The Octobot King L3.Gs was launched away by the blast radius, forcing the splatsquad to hold onto the edges with whitening knuckles.

The UltraMech jumped off the hugefry an landed atop the Octobot King L3.Gs, gripping its edges to steady the vessel. Without the Calamari Inkantation 3MIX to power him, the hugefry turned back into Little Buddy and dropped into Meggy’s oustretched hand.

"Little Buddy!" She hugged the salmonid to her chest, "I'm so proud of you! You saved the world!"

"I mean, the rest of us helped, too." Kenji noted good-naturedly.

"Yeah…" Sam dialed his communicator, "Hey, captain Laker, I got hurt pretty bad in that fight. You guys didn't bring any first aid, did you? Cause all we've got is gauze, and my shoulders killing me."

Kat leaned over Lauren's shoulder to answer, "I've got some first aid stuff that I brought just on case. Let's see if we can fit you into the cockpit with us, and then I'll fix you."

While Sam was in the cockpit, Kenji and Meggy sat on the edge of the ship. They watched the curvature of the blue and green earth, surrounded by the stars with the sun millions of miles away. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Kenji practically whispered.

“Yeah…” Meggy tapped her knees. “Hey, Kenji, when I was in the pilot hatch, I thought I heard something. I dunno, I guess it was like your voice got way deeper. What was that all about?”

“Huh. I’m not sure. I think… okay, when Sam got hurt, I saw the octarian that shot him from behind. I got really angry, and then I was just seeing red, and then the next thing I knew…” He shrugged, “They were all gone.”

Meggy sighed. “Huh. Weird.” She put her elbow on her knee, and her chin on her palm, watching the earth grow closer.

While Deep Cut was reporting on the great zapfish’s return, the New Squidbeak Splatoon’s camp in Alterna was bustling with activity. Lauren, Marcus, Katherine, Callie, Marie, Craig, Sam, Meggy, and Kenji sat around a circle, with the captain sitting on top of a crate. Her predecessor still resembled a dried squid, floating next to her.

“Okay, first order of business.” Lauren decided, “Craig, is this…” She gestured to him, “...permanent?”

“Who knows?” He shrugged with his tentacles, “This isn’t the sort of thing that happens every day, so there’s no telling how long it’ll last.”

“Well, no matter how long it takes, we’ll still love you.” Marie gripped one of his tentacles. Callie grabbed the other, confirming, “Yeah, and if we find some way to reverse this, we’ll be right on top of it.”

“Thank you, my granddaughters.” The former captain closed his aged eyes, leaning closer to the two cousins. Lauren smiled at the three, before turning to the others. “So, splatsquad, right? You guys were pretty good out there. How’d you three like to be auxiliary agents?”

“Are you kidding?!” Meggy stood up in her excitement, “Why wouldn’t we wanna be secret agents with giant robots and awesome weapons?”

“Yeah, that sounds awesome.” Sam grinned, “You guys have such advanced technology; it’d be great to study it.”

“If the others are in, then so am I.” Kenji eagerly decided, “Besides, how could I say no to saving the world?”

“That’s great. It’s always nice to have more auxiliary agents.” Lauren continued, “So, third and hopefully final order of business. Kenji, you mentioned you liked magic earlier. Care to elaborate?”

“Oh, that’s nothing.” Kenji dismissed, “I’m just kind of interested in the supernatural, that’s all.”

“Alright then.” Lauren placed her palms on the edge of the crate, and leaned back. “Everyone, dismissed.”

Chapter Text

“Hey, thanks for letting us stay for dinner.” Kenji offered Lauren in team mobile ink force’s living room.

“Don’t mention it.” Lauren smiled, sitting next to Katherine, “We talked about it, and we agreed it’d be nice to have the newbies visit.”

Sam glanced around the room, standing by the window. “Don't you have a sister? Is she home?”

Lauren nodded, while Katherine played a video game. “Yeah, she’s just in her room. She was working overtime at Hotlantis last night, so she’s still tired.”

“Who’s still tired?” A girl walked out of the hall, stretching her arms. “Also, who’s making dinner?”

Lauren waved over to her, “Morning. I asked that new girl to take care of it.”

Kenji and Sam turned to each other, wide-eyed with horror. “I’ll call the pizza guy.” Sam decided.

“I’ll call the fire department.” They ran off into the hallway.

“I’ll go check on her.” Lauren stood up and ran off.

Viktor Kyanshu walked into a room underground. It was a gray cube, furnished only with a desk, where his wife sat on a chair. “You’ve seen the footage.”

Malecia nodded, pulling the video up on the laptop. The footage, recorded by an octocopter, showed a blurry video of two giant robots flying into space. Viktor tapped her on the shoulder. “Pause and zoom in.” Malecia did as she was told.

Viktor growled, and tightened his grip on the back of the chair. Malecia shook with rage. “So, the rumors were true.” She concluded, “Octavio has allied himself with the inklings.”

“Yes.” Viktor minimized the video. “And they’ve reverse-engineered the blueprints they stole.”

Malecia glared at the screen, as though hoping to melt it. “Wretched things. They can’t even create their own weaponry; they need to steal from us. The superior species.” Viktor rubbed his fingers through her tentacle-hair, reassuring her, “Exactly. That’s why they don’t stand a chance against our might.”

Malecia laughed, “I know, honey. And besides, they only stole our secondary plans. We still have the other mecha designs, and they have no idea about our true plans.” She stood up to kiss Viktor on the lips. “The first one should be finished. Wanna see it?”

“Of course, darling.” Viktor followed Malecia to a blank wall. Malecia passed a hand over the exact center, signaling the hidden sensors within to slide a small section of it, at eye level, upwards to reveal a number pad. Malecia entered the code, causing the wall section to lower back over the number pad. The room was filled with a loud pneumatic hiss, as the wall divided in half and opened outwards, into a large chamber.

At the center of the chamber was a large cylinder of a green liquid, with a humanoid figure floating inside, tubes connecting it to the top of the cylinder and the roof. Other tubes connected the base of the cylinder to the floor. Malecia walked over to a control console, connected by some of the wires to the cylinder, and pressed a few buttons. “Let’s see if our first child is ready.”

Slots opened in the floor of the cylinder. The liquid drained, flowing through some of the wires. The creature within dropped to the floor, while the plexiglass completely lowered into the base. “The great octoweapons, and the octobosses, certainly had their merits. However, they were too large and cumbersome to really be a threat in a large population center. This new breed of octarians, created from the DNA of our ex-daughter, will prove to be our ultimate weapon against the inklings.”

It was blind.

It was deaf.

It was not blind.

Everything was green.

It could feel no texture.

Everything felt heavy.

It could barely move.

It was conscious.

It was aware.

It knew it existed.

It wanted to scream.

It needed to scream.

It couldn’t scream.

The liquid drained.

It dropped to the metal floor.

The container retracted.

It could feel.

Hear.

See.

Scream.

Viktor and Malecia walked over to the open capsule. The creature lying there screamed, writhing on the ground. It was a small, hollow thing, with limbs ending in stumps. Its legs were as long as its entire upper body, and its arms stretched from its shoulders to past its legs. Viktor turned to his wife, face painted with skepticism. “This is our ultimate weapon?”

Malecia shrugged, “I’ll admit, there are some… complications. It seems like it might be somewhat undercooked. Next time, we’ll let it stay in there for longer.”

“Well, I suppose we could dispose of it…” Viktor lifted its malformed head, smiling into its milky-white eyes, “But that would be such a waste.” He gently helped it to its shaky feet. “We went to all the trouble of creating you, so we may as well send you on a test run.”

“Are you sure, sweetie?” Malecia gestured at the premature abomination, “That thing’s not going to destroy Splatsville.”

“Of course not. But it will cause the inklings to suffer, which means Katherine will fight it to defend them. Any destruction visited upon them, and the traitors who live amongst them, is a net positive as far as I’m concerned.”

Malecia flashed him a fanged grin. “Good point.” She held the thing by its shoulders. “Octo-Ghost, you are the first, the prototype, of a new breed of weapon: the OctoBeasts. You can transform into an intangible mass, and impose your will upon any inanimate object you desire. Go, and use this gift to cause the inklings as much strife and misery as possible.”

The incomplete horror nodded its head. Viktor walked over to the control console, and pressed a few buttons. Octo-Ghost teleported out of the room. “Now, it should be on its way to Splatsville. Honey, send out some octocopters to monitor its progress, and make sure they have the chemical.” He stood up, “I’ll go make some popcorn."

Unaware of the events underground, the splatsquad walked along a sidewalk. Meggy was defensively ranting, “How was I supposed to know the oven couldn’t handle that temperature?! If it’s not supposed to get that hot, then why program it that way in the first place?!”

Kenji shrugged, “Honestly, we’re kinda used to it at this point. I just wish the pizza guy and the fire department hadn’t gotten there at the same time. We really didn’t need to explain all that to them.”

Sam nodded grimly. “And of course, the pizza guy’s ex just had to be on the fire squad.”

All three briefly stopped to shudder. Meggy skipped in front of the two boys, rubbing her hands together. “So, who wants to repress our awkward memories with a few rounds of turf war?”

“Why?” Kenji asked, “Without a fourth member, we’ll have to go with a rando. You know how that always goes.”

“Yeah, well, maybe today’s the day we finally find the perfect fourth member! The day we truly begin our ascension through the ranks and become-”

“Watch out!” Kenji’s warning came too late, and Meggy walked backwards into an octoling. They both collapsed, yelling and scrambling to get off each other. “Sorry, I-” Meggy paused when she saw the octoling’s face. Her eyes narrowed contemptuously. “You.”

The octoling mimicked her snarl, “You. Meggy Spletzer.” Her light purple tentacle-hair curled outwards on either side of her face, her splatana lay on the ground, and she wore a blue hoodie with a blue octopus drawn on it, and a pair of black fingerless gloves.

“Desti Daiki.” Both girls stood up. Meggy clenched and unclenched her fingers. She looked behind Desti, at three identical octolings behind her. “I see you’ve got a team.”

“Yup.” Desti raised her chin haughtily, “We’re the invincible octoposse. The ‘invincible’ part isn’t actually in the name; it’s just, y’know, just a descriptor.” She leaned forward, smirking, “But it seems you're one short. Then again, as far as skill is concerned, you’re a hundred short of us.”

“Wanna bet?” Meggy jabbed her finger at Desti’s chest. The octoling bared her fangs. “Sure.” She pushed Meggy’s finger away, “Let’s play turf war, and whoever loses has to stop playing turf war for an entire year.”

Meggy cocked her head to the side. “No. Why would I agree to that? That’s stupid! Do I look stupid to you?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

Meggy considered for a moment. “Don’t you dare.”

Desti held up her hands in mock surrender. “Alright, cool. Besides, we’ve gotta get ready for the cake contest. See ya, Spletzey.”

Meggy grabbed Desti’s arms in twin vice grips. “Okay, first, never call me Spletzey. Second, what?”

“You didn’t hear? No surprise, considering you’re always focused on yourself.”

Kenji marched forward, “Hey, I’ll have you know we’ve been dealing with a completely separate plotline!”

“Plot…what…?” While Desti was trying to process what she’d heard, a member of the octoposse yelled, “Desti, the only reason you know is because I told you!” The team’s leader called back, “Shut up, Nadine!”

The octoling scowled, “Well fine then!”

Desti turned back to the splatsquad, “Apparently, it’s going to be teams of three, so you’ll actually be able to compete with us on a slightly even level. Whoever makes the best cake wins… eh, actually I don’t know what the prize is. I didn’t listen that far. Not like it matters, considering you can barely touch an oven without setting half of Splatsville on fire.”

Meggy’s face flushed, “Hey, that only happened once! And most of it was because of the gender reveal party down the street!”

“Uh-huh. Sure.”

Nadine stepped forward. “Actually, Desti, it’s not… eh, it’s funnier this way.” She walked away, smiling to herself.

“So, should we…?” One member of the octoposse gestured to both Nadine and Desti. Her sister shrugged, “Nah, it’ll work itself out.”

Nearby, Desti walked away, waving, “See ya, Spletzey. Good luck, since it won’t be enough.”

Meggy impotently yelled, “I told you, don’t call me Spletzey!”

“I know! That’s why I just did! And now I'll walk away so that I can’t hear your inevitably stupid comeback!”

“What?! I can’t hear you! You’re too far away!” Meggy rolled her eyes, and turned around to address Sam and Kenji, “Alright, guys, whaddaya think?”

“I think this is a stupid idea.” Kenji answered, “I’m in. It’ll be fun to see how this all blows up in our faces. Besides, I could use a breather after our last adventure got so high-stakes.”

“Good enough for me!” Meggy slammed her fist down into her palm, “Sam, I need you to teach me how to cake!”

“What? Why me?” Sam asked incredulously. Meggy walked over, and rubbed his tentacle-hair. “Because you’re a science guy, silly. And cooking is kinda like science, isn’t it? Right? Am I getting that right?”

Sam considered, “I guess cooking is sort of like chemistry. Plus, you clearly need all the help you can get.”

“Thanks, Sam!” Meggy hugged her friend, causing him to grunt from the abrupt impact, “Yeah, no problem, Megs.”

“Okay, and these belts, what? Activate specials?” Marcus turned one of the three devices in his hands. They resembled metal belts, each matching its owner’s ink color. In place of a buckle, each had a 3-by-3 number pad.

“Precisely!” Sheldon pointed at the one in Katherine’s hands, “I was able to create them by reverse-engineering the blueprints we found beneath the Kyanshu household. Otherwise, they would’ve potentially taken years to invent by scratch. I hate to say this, but their technological capacities are decades ahead of ours.”

“Yeah.” Katherine tightened her grip on the device, “All the more reason we need to take them down.” She turned, trying to keep her tone even, “Lauren, please, we know where Viktor and Malecia are. We can take the fight to them long before they have a chance to attack us.”

“Katie, I’d love to, but do you really think they won’t be expecting that? No doubt they’ll be upgrading their security, and with how advanced the stuff we’ve managed to take from them is, I don’t want to think about what that might mean. Face it: right now, our best option is to play defense, and wait for an opening before counterattacking.” She wrapped her arms around Katherine, resting the palm of her hand on the octoling’s tentacle-hair.

“Okay. I understand.” Kat relented, leaning her head on Lauren’s shoulder, “Maybe it’s for the best I avoid seeing them.”

“Yeah, probably.” Marcus agreed, “Anyway, Sheldon, you want to tell us about the new mechs?”

“Oh, right, the UltraMech.” Katherine extricated herself from Lauren, with a brief kiss to the inkling’s forehead. “That thing was awesome.” She grinned, “It made the KartMech look like an action figure.”

“Oh, yes, the New Squidbeak UltraMech! No doubt it’s our most powerful weapon yet.” Sheldon mused, “Fortunate, considering the KartMech was destroyed last december. Now then, about what I called you about…” He pulled out three small metallic animals, and handed them each to the three agents.

“Oh, neat, action figures.” Lauren skeptically turned the yellow falcon in her hands.

“I didn’t know you were into this sort of thing. Think we could sell these?” Katherine suggested, tapping the purple swordfish.

“Yeah, they look just like the actual mechs.” Marcus held the green lion up to his face.

“Yeah, that’s because they are the actual mechs, agent 4.” Sheldon corrected. As if on cue, the tiny robots perked up. The falcon flew around Lauren’s head, the swordfish flopped in Katherine’s hand, and the lion jumped onto Marcus’s shoulders.

“Woah. Dude, that’s amazing.” Marcus rubbed his finger under his mech’s chin. “Did you do that, or was it already in the blueprints?”

“Uh… whichever impresses you more. Now, as for the practical applications, this means you can store the mechs inside your belt buckles when you’re fighting or going on missions, so you can call on them whenever you need their assistance- be that for getting into places too small even for swim form, or fighting kaijus.”

“Right, so we just, what? Open the belts?” Lauren pressed a switch on the side of her belt buckle, causing it to swing open and reveal a hollow space, large enough to comfortably fit her falcon. “Oh, that’s neat.”

“Yes, and you’ll be happy to know that I’ve tied both the belts and the mechs to your individual DNA. No one but you three will be able to use each individual belt/mecha setup, not even your closest relatives.”

Lauren nodded, “That’s good for making sure they don’t fall into the wrong hands. Well, unless one of us gets mind-controlled, so new rule: nobody get mind-controlled.”

“I’ll try to resist the urge.” Marcus deadpanned. Katherine muttered, “Uh-huh. What he said.” She tapped the swordfish’s protrusion. “So, how do we use the belts with these?”

“It’s quite simple, actually.” Sheldon explained, “The code 9-9-9 on the belts will deploy the mechas. I call them the GATTAIS: Going Actively Tactical Transport Action Instigator System. And the code 1-triple-zero will combine them, but only if you all use it simultaneously. Alternatively, you could deploy them in their mini form by simply opening the belts.”

“Man, this is great! And they’re kinda cute, actually.” Marcus scratched the lion’s mane. “Anyway, I’ve seen some new specials being used in turf wars that we didn’t have in Inkopolis. Did you…”

“I’m working on it as we speak, agent 4. Right now, I’ve got 6 new special weapons on the way for the belts. Not sure when they’ll be ready, though.”

“Good enough.” Katherine patted his shelled head, “Keep us posted, alright, little guy?” Sheldon looked up, eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Agent 8, need I remind you who’s in charge of your paycheck?”

“Heh. Heh. Ehhh…” Katherine slowly retracted her arm. “Now, about those fancy Splatlandian weapons…?”

Sheldon grinned, “Actually, could you call those splatsquad kids down here? I think they’re going to like this.”

“Okay, so, I guess you could say my cooking leaves something to be desired.” Meggy nodded thoughtfully at the kitchen. Sam facepalmed, gesturing with the other hand. The kitchen was covered in splotches of batter, while the oven was open and pouring out black smoke. “We barely even started! I was watching you the whole time! How?! Just… how?! How did you manage that?!”

“Uh…” Meggy nervously shrugged, “Guess I’m just…” She slapped her palms on her sides, “...naturally talented?” Sam rolled his eyes, “Yeah, that’s one way to put it. Here, let me do it this time.”

“No! I have to do this myself!” Meggy insisted, running back into the kitchen. Sam held her by the shoulders. “Megs, come on, what’s with you? Why won’t you let me do this? No one will know.”

“I- I know that, but I really feel like I need to do this myself. It just feels wrong to let someone else do it for me. You know what I mean, right?”

“I, um, yeah. I guess so.” Sam placed his hand on top of Meggy’s head. “Alright, but at least let me help, alright?”

“Yeah…” She looked around the ruins of her kitchen, “I think that’d be for the best.” Her phone started ringing in her pocket. “Oh! Hello? Hey, captain Laker, you need something? Huh? Okay, awesome, we’ll be right there.”

“What was that about?” Sam inquired, while Meggy pocketed her phone. “Call your boyfriend. The captain wants us in Alterna.”

By the time the splatsquad entered the New Squidbeak Splatoon’s headquarters in Alterna, Lauren, Katherine, Marcus, and Sheldon were sitting around the camp. “Hey guys!” Meggy waved, running over to them, “I heard you’ve got some new weapons for us?” She practically vibrated in excitement.

Lauren stifled a laugh. “Yeah. Go ahead, Sheldon. Show em what you’ve made.”

“Yes, of course. Okay, first, here’s the hero charger DX and the hero roller DX.” He tossed the weapons over to Sam and Kenji, explaining their functions to the newcomers.

“But this…” He excitedly pulled out a yellow-and-black bow with three separate ink capsules. “This is what I’ve really been wanting to show you: the hero stringer DX. It has a faster firing rate and a longer range than the standard tri-stringer, plus you can rotate the central cylinder to shoot plasma instead of ink. Go ahead, try it out!” He tossed the crossbow for Meggy to catch with both hands, legs buckling under the weight.

“Hey, thanks!” She fired nine bursts of ink with three shots in three seconds. “Yeah, you weren’t kidding about it being faster! Now what was that about plasma?” She rotated the rod connecting the central cylinder to the bowstring, beaming at the loud click it made. She launched nine rapid-fire bursts of plasma with three shots, burning a small area of plasma dozens of feet away. “This is awesome!” Meggy practically squealed, jumping in place while holding the stringer overhead, “I can’t wait to take this into turf war!”

Lauren winced, “Yyyeah, see, the hero DX weapons aren’t actually allowed into turf wars. They’re too overpowered, and the plasma makes them so dangerous that it’d be insanely irresponsible to mass-produce them.”

“Oh.” Meggy lowered the weapon in disappointment. “Sorry, I just thought… y’know, with this, it wouldn’t matter that there’s only three of us. But that makes sense; I get it.”

Marcus walked over to her. “Well then, I guess you’ll just have to find a fourth member.”

“Yeah.” Meggy spat angrily, “We’ve been trying to ever since we formed the splatsquad in high school.” She pointed the crossbow down.

“Oh. I’m sorry; I didn’t know.” Marcus placed his palm on the back of her neck. “Is this alright?” Meggy twirled her fingers on the bowstring. “It’s fine. I just… we’ve played dozens of rounds, and not once have we won. How are we supposed to become champions with a track record like that?! Not one of the randos we’ve teamed up with has got us a victory!”

Katherine absently tapped her dualies together. “Meggy, have you ever considered that maybe the problem is one of you three?”

Meggy sharply inhaled. “Maybe. But that’s why we’re always training! Ever since we graduated, we’ve been training at least once a week, but it’s never enough!” She angrily threw down the hero stringer DX on the snow-covered ground.

“Meggy, calm down.” Sam gripped her elbows, holding her arms to her side until she calmed down.

“I’m sorry. Really, I am.” She hung her arms at her sides, while Sam rubbed them vertically. “I know. You’re fine. Hey, you still want to do that cake contest?” Meggy nodded. “Alright, then let’s go back to your place.”

Octo-Ghost stalked the streets of Splatsville, possessing inanimate objects in order to remain hidden. Occasionally, it would cause small-scale panic by possessing traffic lights and cars. After a few hours, in mid-day, it approached a small section of town that’d been set aside for the contest.

“Okay, guys. What’re our odds?”Meggy gestured at the small cake on the table in front of her. It was blackened and slumped over on one side. Kenji slowly turned to look at her. “Meggy, I want you to take a good, long look at that cake, and then say that again.”

“Yeah…” She nodded thoughtfully, “Could use more frosting. And stability. And basic culinary competency.”

Sam leaned in to examine the abomination. “I helped make this, and even I don’t know what flavor it’s supposed to be. Maybe…” He reached over, until Kenji lightly slapped his hand away.

“We have to wait until it’s time, honey. Also, I think it’s supposed to be strawberry.”

Meggy blinked at Kenji. “I thought we were making a chocolate cake.” She leaned over to look around at the other dozen stands. “But on the bright side, at least we bothered to make something. I mean, look at these chumps! They don’t have anything!”

“Yeah…” Kenji narrowed his eyes at the other contestants. “It’s almost suspicious. Hey, Sam, let’s go check it out.” Sam looked around, before nodding his head in agreement. “Right. Megs, you stay here and watch over our… whatever that is.”

“Got it.” Meggy snarked, casually leaning on the table, “Wouldn’t want anyone stealing this masterpiece.”

Sam and Kenji walked around the contest area, on the paved ground, looking around at the empty tables. “Hey.” Sam tapped Kenji on the shoulders. “Look over there.”

“Huh? Oh, hey, guys!” Kenji dragged his boyfriend over to another empty booth, where Nadine was standing with the Myers siblings. “Wait, you two are competing? How come nobody else has made any cake? Are they just hiding them?”

Katherine and Marcus briefly glanced at each other. Nadine slowly facepalmed. “Guys, this isn’t a cake baking contest. It’s a cake eating contest.”

“What?” Kenji muttered blankly. Sam looked around. “But… but how?! How didn’t we figure this out?!”

“It’s because all the advertisements just called it a ‘cake contest’.” Nadine casually elaborated, “You had to go on their website to find out the specifics.” She leaned in, smiling toothily. “Also, the rest of the octoposse has no idea. I can’t wait to see their reactions.” She giggled to herself, while Sam and Kenji gradually backed off.

“Should we tell Meggy?” Sam asked.

“No, we should let her figure it out on her own. It’ll be funnier that way.”

“Good point.” Sam gave him a thumbs-up, before he heard multiple simultaneous screams. “What the-?!” He turned around, as Meggy sprinted over to them.

Katherine jumped over the booth. Marcus told Nadine to stay out of the way before following her. “Guys! Guys!” Meggy screamed, arms flailing overhead, “My cake’s trying to kill us!”

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.” Katherine pet the younger girl’s head, while turning her head to Kenji. “Can it?”

“It’s Meggy. Sam and I have a running bet on when something she makes will come to life and destroy the city.” Kenji deadpanned. Meggy frustratedly pulled Kat’s hand off her head, before calmly walking over to Kenji, balling her hand into a fist, raising it, and summarily dropping it on his head. “Look over there!” She pointed to a corner, where something appeared in their line of sight.

Everyone stared blankly at the humanoid mass of shambling burnt chocolate. Marcus bluntly spoke, “What the actual hell?”

Viktor and Malecia sat at a desk, watching Octo-Ghost through a camera held by an octocopter. Viktor collided his head with the desk, and sighed loudly, “It… possessed… a cake.”

Malecia angrily bit down on a kernel of popcorn. “I’ll order the other octocopter to administer the-”

“No.” Viktor grabbed her arm, not hard enough to remotely hurt her. He smiled, and eagerly grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl in the middle of the desk. “I want to see where this is going.”

“Someone wanna tell me what the hell is going on?!” Marcus screamed at the lumbering, screeching thing in front of him. Katherine calmly dialed her communicator. “Hey, Lauren? Yeah, sorry, we’re kinda being attacked by a cake. Can you come and- alright, thanks, I’ll set down a teleport beacon right now.” She placed down a teleport beacon, while the splatsquad ran at the living mass of burnt gluten.

“Kids, wait!” Marcus yelled before putting his arm down. “Wait, why am I calling them kids? They’re like a year younger than me.” Lauren materialized in front of him and his sister. “Woah. You weren’t kidding.” She turned around, to hand a few sea snails to Katherine.

“What’s that all about?”

“Oh come on, Mark.” Kat pocketed the currency, “At this point, did you really think we wouldn’t start to take bets on what sort of monsters we’d be facing at some point?”

“Guys, help!” Sam called for their attention. The cake was absorbing their punches and kicks, leaving Sam to drag Kenji’s arm out as the amorphous substance wrapped around his forearm. Meggy attempted to kick it, until it grew a small extra arm to slap her away.

“Alright, let’s go team! Time to take the new belts for a spin!” Lauren dialed her communicator, “Yo, sheldon, we need the belts and the new kids’ hero DX weapons!”

“Understood, captain Laker.” Sheldon waited for Lauren to hang up the communicator. The three belts appeared in her, Marcus’s, and Katherine’s hands, while the splatsquad retreated towards them. The hero stringer DX appeared in Sam’s arms, the hero roller DX in Kenji’s, and the hero charger DX in Meggy’s.

“Uh, guys.” The young teenager glanced at the other two, “I think we need to switch.” The possessed cake swung its pseudo-arm, tossing the splatsquad aside. They landed, tumbling on the pavement behind the three veteran agents.

“Are you kids okay?” Lauren asked, looking behind her. At their utterances of affirmation, she turned back around and walked towards the monster. “In that case…” She whipped the belt onto her waist, with the magnetic end attaching to the buckle. Her friend and girlfriend did the same, and the three charged at the possessed culinary horror.

Lauren jumped into the air, firing plasma, while the siblings rolled to either side. The living cake ejected a massive arm from its chest, slamming it into Lauren and pinning her to the ground. Her back struck the pavement, with her arms and belt covered and inaccessible. “Oh!” She screamed, “Harder, daddy!”

The possessed cake paused, its arm going slack from shock. Lauren laughed, “Psych!” She tore her arm out from under the semi-sentient amorphous substance, firing plasma where she estimated the thing’s face to be. It screeched in an unnaturally deep and warbling tone. Lauren next blasted the frosting off of her belt, before tearing it off her upper body.

2-2-0: Inkjet

Lines of yellow digital energy snaked around Lauren’s body from the belt, solidifying into an inkjet on her back and a long-range cannon on her arms. The twin jets of fire propelled her into the air, bursting apart some of the thing’s matter. She fired an explosive burst of plasma, forcing the thing to dodge, throwing it aside. It hit the ground hard, shattering entirely, staining the ground brown and black.

Lauren winced, before yelping when the inkjet depleted, throwing her back onto the ground. Katherine grabbed her by the shoulders, yelling, “That was awesome! But next time, honey, could you at least try to let the rest of us have a turn? Marcus and I didn’t even have to call Sheldon for a weapons transport.”

Lauren’s face went yellow from ink-blood. “Oh, I knew I was forgetting something. Guys, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Marcus assured her, “You’re still new to being captain, right? Besides, we could’ve easily called him ourselves.” Lauren smiled. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“Guys?” Meggy pointed at where the cake had been annihilated, “I think we just found out what’s been causing this!”

A vaguely humanoid horror faded into existence, snarling and growling. After a couple of seconds, words started to become clear, “Kill you all! Destroy all inklings! For the Kyanshus! Glory to the octarians!”

“Kyanshus?” Sam tilted his head to the side, “What’s a Kyanshu?”

Katherine splayed her fingers at her sides, fuming, “My ex-parents. This must be their next move.” She tapped the buttons on her belt. “Now here’s mine.” The belt vocalized, in a voice far more natural-sounding than the Kyanshus’ models.

0-2-0: Stingray

The belt emitted lines of code that solidified into a cannon the same size as Katherine. She screamed in rage, firing a narrow beam of plasma at the thing.

Octo-Ghost jumped over the plasma beam at the last second, landing just behind Katherine. She gasped, as the stingray severely impeded her ability to turn her body below her neck. Octo-Ghost swung its arm back, preparing it to strike at Katherine while she was vulnerable.

“Don’t even touch her!” Marcus tackled Octo-Ghost from behind, holding its arm in his elbow, while his other hand went to his belt.

9-0-9: Ink Armor

Octo-Ghost flung Marcus aside, shattering the layer of glowing green armor that’d started spreading outwards from his belt. It slapped Katherine, only for its hand to harmlessly bounce off.

“Let me show you how it’s done.” Katherine slapped Octo-Ghost with an open palm, knocking its head to the side with an audible snap. She jumped, kicking off its head to backflip. The ink armor wore off before she hit the ground on all fours. She stood up, dialing her communicator, “Sheldon! Marcus and I need a weapons transport now!”

“On it, agent 8! And I’ll just assume there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you’re telling me this now-” The weapons had materialized in the Myers siblings’ hands before Katherine hung up. Marcus fired plasma, forcing Katherine to sprint at Octo-Ghost while it jumped and dodged. As soon as she got close enough, she spun around, with one dagger directly over the other, and sliced them both into the monster in the same direction at the same time.

Octo-Ghost blubbered in pain, stumbling backwards on its unbalanced legs. It fell backwards, inadvertently protecting itself from Katherine, when she turned her daggers into dualies and fired plasma over it. It flipped onto all fours, spinning around and jumping up at the same time, swiping Katherine with both hands. She flew back, falling onto her stomach on the ground. She quietly groaned, in dull pain, “Ow.”

“Marc- I mean, Agent 4! Let’s combine our weapons!” Lauren decided.

“Got it!” Marcus held up his splatling, allowing Lauren to attach her shooter to its side. They fired a combined burst of plasma at Octo-Ghost. It stumbled forward, flailing its arms to deflect the plasma at them.

The splatsquad watched from behind Octo-Ghost, as Katherine and Marcus were tossed aside. “Wait just a burger-flipping minute.” Meggy examined her tri-stringer, “We can combine our weapons?! Guys, we’ve gotta try this!”

“Hell yeah!” Sam threw his fist into the air. Kenji held out his charger, grinning wildly, “Yeah, let’s do this! Just, uh…” He looked down at the three weapons, “...how?”

“Maybe this?”

“No, Meggy, that’s not it.”

“Kenji, what are you thinking?”

“Maybe this goes on top?”

“Sam, stop trying to make that shape!”

“Oh, like yours was any better!”

“Would you two stop fighting?!”

“Wait, I think we’ve got it!”

The splatsquad held up Meggy’s hero stringer DX, with Kenji’s hero charger DX and Sam’s hero roller DX between the central cylinder and each side cylinder. The plasma charged, pooling into the stringer, until firing as three large bursts of pure energy. Octo-ghost turned around a second too late, screeching as it was engulfed in an explosion.

Meggy couldn’t stop gazing at the fiery explosion. An uncontrollably wide grin slowly grew onto her face. She balled up her fists, before excitedly throwing them out and yelling, “The splatsquad wins! 100 percent!” After a second, she glanced to her sides and realized she’d accidentally punched Sam and Kenji to the ground. “Oh, eh, heh, sorry guys.”

“Now should we administer the chemical?” Malecia asked. Viktor grinned maliciously at the monitor. “Of course, sweetheart. After all, he’s lasted much longer than I expected.”

“Of course, honey.” Malecia spoke into a microphone, “Administer the octarian HyperSize chemical! Now!”

“Hey, not bad, kids!” Lauren ran over to congratulate the splatsquad.

“Thanks!” Meggy accepted, wrapping an arm around each of the two boys’ shoulders, “I couldn’t have done it without these two! Probably. Definitely not nearly as easily!”

Kenji patted the side of her head, laughing, “Alright, Spletzer, try not to suffocate us with your overwhelming gratitude.” Meggy laughed in turn, “C’mon, Kisaragi, you know you love me.”

“Hey, guys!” Marcus pointed at an octocopter, flying down while carrying a small gray cylinder “We’ve gotta take that thing down!” Before he could fire, the octocopter shot the cylinder at Octo-Ghost’s remnants.

“Yes!” Malecia watched through the other octocopter’s camera, “The octarian HyperSize chemical will reassemble our child at the molecular level, and revert its consciousness to just before its death!”

“And then, it’ll make it more powerful than ever!”

Octo-Ghost’s remains glowed bright white, expanding by the second. “Run!” Lauren commanded, pushing the others out of the way. She turned around, watching as the field of light shattered.

“Make our monster grow!”

Octo-Ghost roared in anger and confusion, as tall as the same buildings it was lumbering towards.

“Well.” Lauren remarked, “That’s new. Okay team, let’s use the GATTAIS!”

9-9-9: Falcon Robo

9-9-9: Lion Robo

9-9-9: Swordfish Robo

The belts opened. The three mechs jumped out, growing exponentially as they moved towards Octo-Ghost. The Lion pounced, raking its claws on the demon’s torso. The falcon dove at it, striking Octo-Ghost’s head with his claws. The swordfish swam through the air, stabbing it in the chest, causing it to stumble backwards.

“Man, that’s awesome!” Lauren jumped up and down, arms in the air like an excited child. “Okay, now let’s teleport and pilot them! You guys with me?”

Marcus jokingly rolled his eyes, “How do you even need to ask at this point?”

“Yeah, Lorie, of course we’re going too!” Katherine, Marcus, and Lauren activated their transporters.

1-0-0-0: GATTAIS Combine

The three mechas combined into an enormous humanoid, using the swordfish’s protrusion as a sword.

“Guardian of the cosmos! New Squidbeak UltraMech!”

Octo-Ghost swung its oversized hand at the UltraMech, prompting it to block with its sword, forcing Octo-Ghost back. Marcus piloted the mech’s arm to take the lion’s mane, a metal green ring with sharp edges, off its back. “Let’s charge him!”

Katherine nodded, and piloted the legs to sprint at Octo-Ghost. Lauren piloted the hawk’s eyes to lock onto the monster’s chest. Marcus pulled the arm back, and swung it forward to toss the mane like a serrated disc. It sailed and spun through the air, curving as it sliced through the sky. Before Octo-Ghost could dodge, it drilled into its chest, rotating in place while the mecha turned around, as the monster exploded behind it.

“Yes!” Lauren celebrated, “That was a piece of cake!”

Viktor grinned. “And now, the true war can begin.”

Chapter Text

Viktor and Malecia walked into a massive, open hangar, where two flying machines lay dormant. “The test run with Octo-Ghost was more successful than I’d anticipated, but it still left something to be desired.” Viktor explained, “Therefore, we’re going to go out on our own while we’re waiting for the machine to recharge.”

Malecia turned on the lights, illuminating the chamber and the vehicles within. Malecia smiled at the mechas, a hawk and an eagle. “Finally, two of our mechas are ready. It’s time to pay a visit to Splatsville in person, and make sure the inklings and their traitorous allies live their last moments in fear of the Kyanshu name!”

“Alright, team, good work!” Lauren congratulated the rest of team mobile ink force, “The enemy might’ve put up their best fight, but we showed them what for! We showed them that our family will never surrender, no matter the opposition we might face!” She slammed her soda on the table.

Wendy rolled her eyes at her sister. “Lauren, we won by like 10%.”

“Which is better than losing by 10%. Plus, we took down that monster no problem last week. Speaking of which, hey, Mark, nice work aiming that blade-ring. As long as we have the UltraMech, Splatsville can rest easy.” She attempted to lean her chair back, until she yelped and pushed it back down. “Heh, I, um, meant to do that.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Wendy turned to the octoling at the table. “Hey, Katherine, are you feeling alright? You haven’t eaten or drank anything. Plus you seemed kinda sluggish in the turf war just now.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” Katherine muttered, quickly snapping a bite out of her lunch. “See? I’m eating right now.”

Marcus tossed a piece of food at her forehead from across the table. “Come on, sis, we’re all family here. Whatever’s going on, we’ll understand.”

Katherine hesitated. “I don’t know. Actually, I do. I’m kind of upset that…” She slammed her palms on the table, yelling, “...my parents are trying to kill us!” She leaned back into her chair, panting, “Sorry for yelling. And I meant Viktor and Malecia; they’re not my parents.”

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Lauren opened her arms, letting Katherine lean into her. She held onto her, with one arm around her side and the other hand on her tentacle-hair. “You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“Thanks, Lauren.” Katherine muttered. She kissed her on the forehead, resting her head on her shoulder.

Across the table, Marcus suggested, “Hey Kat, if this is about your ex-parents, do you want to go to Melani? Maybe you’d feel better visiting your new parents.”

“Yeah… maybe. I don’t know.” Kat leaned back in her chair, fingers interlaced with her girlfriend’s. “Can we just… have our own day? Just us siblings?” She glanced to her side, “No offense, Lorie.”

“It’s okay, Katie.” Lauren eagerly assured her, “If you want to have some time apart, that’s perfectly fine.”

“Thanks, hon.” Katherine gently grabbed her by the longest of her yellow tentacle-hairs, kissing her on the lips. “So, Mark, what do you want to do first?”

He shrugged, “Why are you asking me? This is for you; you choose.”

“Oh! Okay.” Katherine smiled, shifting in her chair. “Um…” She tapped her fingers on the table. “Maybe we could go to an arcade? Oh, or maybe a movie? I think the new HyperCycle movie is out now.”

“Oh, I love that franchise!” Wendy interjected, “But I saw that movie, and I’m not sure you’ll really enjoy it unless you watch the show up to this point.”

“Oh. Arcade it is, then.” Katherine decided, “Let’s just finish our lunch first.” Marcus nodded. “Good call, sis.”

Hours later, the two siblings stepped off of one of the rhythm games at the arcade. Marcus panted, “Man, Kat, how’d you win that?”

Katherine grinned, playfully elbowing Marcus, and subsequently helping him back up by the arm when he lost his balance. “Sorry. But I saved the world from a giant human statue in heels, remember? I guess I just learned to be quick on my feet when… uh…” She glanced around, “Oh look, a crane game!” She dragged Marcus over to another machine.

“Woah! Kat! Are you okay?” Marcus asked, while Kat pressed her face and palms to the plexiglass. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? Just because the octolings who were supposed to take care of me…” she shuddered, “...forced me into the military, and now they’re trying to kill me, and destroy everything I love…” She yelled, “I’m fine!”

Katherine shook, while nearly every bystander was looking at her, and Marcus hesitantly held out his arm to her. “Kat? Do you need to go outside?” Katherine hyperventilated, clasping her hands to her face, until she screamed, “Leave me alone!” Panicking, she sprinted outside, nearly bowling Marcus over and causing the bell above the door to ring wildly.

“Uh- okay! Text me if you need me!” Marcus yelled after her, before hanging his arms loose at his sides. A boy around his age walked over, looking in the same direction. “Trouble with your girlfriend?”

“Wh- no, she’s my sister.” Marcus shrugged, “Adopted.”

“Ah, gotcha. Sorry, I just, um, yeah, I’ll leave you alone now. I hope your sister feels better soon, whatever your name is.”

“Thanks. Name’s Marcus.”

The other boy nodded slightly. “James. Good luck, Marcus.” He started walking away.

“Thanks!” Marcus hesitantly waved after the other boy. He walked over to an empty wall, leaning on it while taking his phone out of his pocket.

[M4rcus] I don’t think Kat’s feeling so good. Any advice?

[Laur3n] Usually I try kissing her, but… yeah, maybe you should just try talking to her instead.

[M4rcus] Thx, but she yelled at me to leave her alone, and then she ran outside.

[Laur3n] O. Well in that case, just leave her alone for now. You and I both know she can take care of herself, and she’ll get back to us when she’s ready. Until then, she just needs space. She’s been through a lot.

[M4rcus] Got it. Thx.

[Laur3n] NP, bud.

Katherine walked through Hagglefish market, looking down with her hands in her pockets. Occasionally, she glared venomously at the merchants yelling to peddle their own wares. After a few hours, she sat down on a rickety wooden chair, and took out her phone.

She took her phone out of her pocket, and went into her contacts. Her finger hovered over the one labeled ‘Mom’. After a second or two, she started texting.

[Katherine]: Hi mom. Sorry, but can I talk to you real quick? It’s about my bio-parents. Viktor and Malecia.

She waited for a few minutes with no response, until her phone turned off by itself. She pocketed it and stood up. “She’s probably busy. Or maybe… no, Kat, no, that’s stupid. Of course they care about me. Even if I’m not really their daughter.” She walked over to a stand selling various foods, and ordered something that resembled a slowly-wriggling tentacle on a stick. It was oddly chewy, and tasted like multiple things simultaneously. It also had a spice to it that allowed her to distract herself, at least for the time being.

After finishing, Katherine stood up and walked back the way she’d come. She kept her hands in her pockets, and repeatedly glanced to her sides. “Yeah… that’s it. Mom’s just doing whatever it is she does for work.” She looked up, to see two mechanical, titanic birds casting shadows over the entire city of Splatsville. They struck buildings with their talons, and generated gusts of wind with their wings.

“No! Not now! Why now?!” Katherine ran toward the city, elbowing past the panicked and retreating civilians, frantically taking her cell phone out of her pocket.

Katherine, Lauren, and Marcus teleported into the middle of Splatsville, where the robotic hawk and eagle soared overhead, screeching and firing lightning from within their mouths. “Them.” Katherine spat, her voice dripping with hate. She turned on her communicator, yelling, “Sheldon! Send us the belts, right this instant!”

“Wha- oh, right, of course, agent 8! No need to yell.” Sheldon hung up the communicator. The belts appeared in the agents’ hands, allowing them to strap the equipment to their waists. “We’ve gotta use the UltraMech.” Katherine decided.

9-9-9: Falcon Robo

9-9-9: Lion Robo

9-9-9: Swordfish Robo

Viktor watched, from within the cockpit of the hawk, as the mechas combined with each other to form a humanoid structure. “Look at them. They have no idea what they’re doing.”

“ Guardian of the cosmos! New Squidbeak UltraMech! ”

Malecia laughed, while perching the eagle atop a high-rise. “Do they really think it’s that simple?”

“Alright, team, le-” “Let’s go all out!” Katherine interrupted Lauren, attempting to pilot the legs.

The legs sparked, and buckled. The UltraMech lost its balance.

“No! No!” Marcus screamed, frantically trying to move the arms, “What’s going on?!”

Lightning flew out of the UltraMech’s elbows and chest.The machine loudly creaked, filling the area with the horrific sound of metal scraping on metal.

The teenagers covered their ears. Lauren screamed, “We need to get out! Now!” The entire cockpit started to pitch forward, as the UltraMech fell to its knees, generating chasms and shaking the ground around it. They activated their transporters.

Viktor and Malecia watched as the UltraMech fell forwards, until it was sprawling on the pavement, surrounded by rubble and upturned pavement.

While the splatsquad were working at the Crab-N-Go in the battle lobby, the entire building shook to its foundations. The shell-out machine toppled and shattered, while the cylinder leading into turf wars loudly sparked, sending out electricity that burned the walls.

“What’s going on?!” Marigold looked outside of the small booth. The three young inklings ran out into the lobby. “We’ll go check it out!” Meggy sprinted outside. Kenji and Sam briefly hesitated before wordlessly following her. Marigold called after them, “Be careful, kids! There’s no telling what’s out there!”

“What are those things?!” Kenji screamed, pointing at the red flying mechs. They were soaring out of a cloud of dust, firing lightning into the streets below. The city was filled with the sounds of wind, electricity, and screaming.

“We’ve gotta call the captain!” Meggy put her wrist up to her face. “Ah man, I left my communicator at home. You guys?”

“Yeah, I’ve got mine.” Before Kenji could turn on his communicator, something crashed through a nearby wall, and swiped at them with its claws.

The largest ship ever constructed by cephalings cut through the waters, on the borders of Splatsville. The crew, consisting of a few hundred cephalings, manned the great metal war vessel. An inkling with long reddish-pink hair, wearing a naval commander uniform and wielding a charger, walked into a command room. “Admiral.”

A tall octoling, wearing a blue longcoat with gold trims, an elaborately-decorated hat with a pink feather sticking out of it, and holding a gold anchor, turned around. “Commander. Have you found him?”

The commander nodded grimly. “I’m afraid so. It seems the makoids have made landfall. There’s a city; no doubt it’s their next target.”

“Just what I feared.” The admiral curled and uncurled his fingers on the anchor. “Tell the crew. And may the oceans have mercy on that city.”

Kenji, Sam, and Meggy were tossed aside, orange ink-blood running across their faces. They glared up from the ground, at something that resembled a humanoid shark. Its entire body was made of glass, reflecting everything around it. Kenji brought his communicator up to his mouth. “Sheldon, charger, now!”

The crab briefly hesitated. “Who… oh, right, Mr. Kisaragi! Got it!”

“Thanks.” Kenji hung up, and shot to his feet while the charger materialized in his hands. The glass shark stepped forward, teeth glistening and reflecting the sun. Kenji fired at it. The plasma bounced off the surface of the glass, forcing the three of them to dive to the side. The pavement where they’d just been exploded.

“Let me try!” Meggy grabbed Kenji’s arm, turning on the communicator and yelling, “Sheldon, I need my stringer!”

“Ow!”

“What was that?” The tri-stringer appeared in Meggy’s hands. “Thanks, shelley.” Meggy released Kenji, lunging forward. “What the hell, Spletzer?”

“If one plasma shot couldn’t do it, then maybe it needs three!” Meggy pulled the bowstring, and launched three orbs of plasma. The glass shark laughed, as the projectiles reflected off of it. “I was wrong!” Meggy screamed, “Dead wrong!”

The splatsquad sprinted downstreet, the sound of a three-fold explosion echoing behind them. Sam and Kenji stopped before turning around, while Meggy turned while skidding to a stop. The glass shark continued walking towards them. She tightened her grip on her hero stringer DX. “What kind of octarian is that? It’s nothing like the one from last week!”

The shark laughed. Its voice sounded like pieces of thick, smooth glass rubbing against each other. “I’m no octarian, little cephie! Haven’t you ever heard of the makoids? The nightmares of the seven seas!”

“Uh…” Meggy lowered her weapon. “No. Sorry.” She turned her head around. “You guys?” Kenji shrugged ambivalently, while Sam readily admitted, “I have even less idea than usual what’s going on right now.”

“Don’t worry!” The shark yelled, “I’ll make sure you won’t forget the name as long as you all live. After all, you cephalopods can remember things for longer than a few minutes, can’t you?” The shark jumped forward, teeth and claws bared.

Lauren, Marcus, and Katherine all stood in the rubble surrounding the UltraMech, panting and watching as Viktor and Malecia piloted their mechas out of the cloud of smoke engulfing them. “Come on!” Lauren coughed, “We’ve gotta figure out what happened!” The trio managed to burst out of the dust cloud, where they fell to their knees and blinked their reddened eyes.

Lauren turned around, watching the smoke and dust dissipate. The UltraMech lay face-down, surrounded by ruins. The surrounding buildings had lost their walls, leaving them partially open. Her knees gave out, and she collapsed to the ground. “No! What happened?!” She jabbed her fingers into the communicator on her wrist. “Sheldon! The UltraMech broke down! What the hell happened?!”

“Wha- sir, please calm down! You know I don’t-”

“Don’t give me that, Shellendorf! I wanna know why our ultimate weapon is lying down like a freshman at a college frat party, while Viktor and Malecia are destroying the city with their own mechas!”

“Right… right, well, there must be a cooldown in effect. Maybe if you used the individual robos separately, you’d have better results.”

Lauren pressed and rubbed her knuckle against her forehead. “Okay. Thanks, Sheldon. We’ll call you back later, assuming we survive.” She hung up, and instructed the other two, “Guys, we’re gonna have to try the separate robos; it’s the only way we’ll stand a chance. Unfortunately, since the lion can’t fly, that means only the falcon and swordfish will be able to go after them. Mark, stay here and help the civilians. Make sure no one’s hurt.”

“Yes sir.” Marcus jumped down into the massive crater while pressing his belt. The lion broke off from the falcon and swordfish, shrinking and running next to Marcus. It jumped into his open palm. “I need you to help me look for civilians, okay, little guy? Preferably alive ones.” The lion robo snarled in confirmation, and jumped onto the ground. Marcus watched it scurry into a tiny space between two rocks before sprinting in another direction.

Lauren teleported into the falcon’s cockpit. She worked the controls until the automaton was standing, with its talons curled into the pavement and its wings folded so as not to take up excess space, and called Katherine on her communicator. “Agent 8, how’s the swordfish?”

“Up and ready, captain! Let’s go do some extremely aggressive bird-watching!” Katherine piloted the swordfish directly in front of Lauren’s cockpit window. Lauren nodded, hung up, and started piloting the falcon in the direction Viktor and Malecia had flown off in. Katherine followed without hesitating.

Sam, Meggy, and Kenji jumped out of the way, barely managing to dodge the makoid’s strike. It gouged the road, upturning the pavement in front of itself. “Maybe we should combine our weapons.” Meggy posited, “Sam, get your-”

“No!” Kenji slapped his hand onto her mouth, “If that thing reflects a blast that big, we might not be able to get away in time!”

Meggy ripped Kenji’s arm away from her face, snarling, “And how do you know it can reflect it?”

“We can’t take the risk!” Kenji held his charger away from Meggy’s grasp.

The makoid laughed, “He’s right, little girl! Name’s Reflectinoid! Try to shoot me, and you’ll only shoot yourself in the foot! If you’re lucky.”

“So we can’t shoot him, huh?” Sam pushed in front of his boyfriend and team leader. “Guess now’s my time to shine!” He activated his communicator, “Sheldon, I need my roller, now!”

“Yes, right away, agent Sheridan. Awful busy today.” Sheldon hung up, and teleported the hero roller DX into Sam’s arms. He sprinted towards Reflectinoid, leaning forward and holding the roller on his back in a standby position. He pivoted on one foot, spun around, and swung the roller into Reflectinoid’s side.

The weapon bounced harmlessly off the glass, causing both itself and Sam vibrate. “H-h-h-o-o-o-w-w-w i-i-i-s-s-s- t-h-i-i-i-s-s-s-”

“You’re irritating!” Reflectinoid raised its claws, ready to strike at Sam while he was too close to dodge. He closed his eyes, stumbling back, in the vain hope of evading the inevitable strike.

“No!” A girl screamed. He opened his eyes, to see that a purple-haired octoling was using a splatana to block Reflectinoid’s claws. She turned around, demanding, “Run while you can!” Sam nodded, and ran back to Kenji and Meggy. Desti turned into an octopus, and slipped away to retreat halfway between the splatsquad and reflectinoid.

“Thanks!” Meggy called over to her, “But why are you helping us?!”

Desti scowled, rolling her eyes while keeping them trained on Reflectinoid. “What kind of psycho do you think I am?! Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I want to see you all gored!” She readied her splatana. The edges of the weapon audibly rotated.

“Desti, wait-!”

The octoling ignored Sam, swinging the splatana to fire a vertical blade of violet ink. The ink bounced off the makoid, striking Desti and knocking her back. Kenji lunged forward to grab her from behind.

“Uh… thanks.” She pushed him away, and stood up. “What even is that thing?”

“It calls itself a makoid.” Meggy explained, “All our attacks have just bounced off of it!”

“So, it turns our ranged attacks against us, huh?” Desti ran forward, splatana revving in her hands. Reflectinoid charged at her, claws outstretched. As soon as she was close enough, Desti rolled behind Reflectinoid before turning around and slashing at it from the ground.

Reflectinoid laughed, and turned around, as the splatana bent and warped, entire pieces falling to the ground. “Did you really think that would do anything?” Desti whimpered, abandoning the remains of her weapon, and scuttling backwards on the ground. Reflectinoid hooked its claws under her collar, lifting her off her feet so they were at eye level. Desti loudly yelped from the sudden near-loss of breath.

“You’re nothing but a tiny, wriggling little cephalopod! We makoids are the true worthy successors to humanity; the next dominant species!” Its mouth curled into a reflective smile, showing its rows of teeth as sharp as broken glass. “Still, I’ve always wondered what you inferior life forms taste like.” It opened its mouth. Desti screamed, closing her eyes.

“Let go of her!” Meggy jumped onto Reflectinoid, wrapping her arms around its neck and screaming, “Desti! Run, now! We’ll handle this monster!” The makoid dropped its prey as it tried to shake Meggy off of it. She hesitantly nodded, and ran away from the fight. Reflectoid swung itself so Meggy was in front of itself, grabbing her arm while turning around to throw her back to Sam and Kenji.

“We’ve gotta retreat, now!” Kenji decided. “I- ugh, fine.” Meggy reluctantly conceded. The three turned their transporters on, and teleported to the base.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Marcus ran after his lion robo, while it repeatedly stopped to briefly call at him, until they reached a slab of stone. “Here?” He pointed down at the small gap between the stone and the ground, propped up by a few smaller rocks. The lion snapped in confirmation, scurrying underneath the slab. Marcus laid down to examine the cramped space. A few feet in, an inkling girl lay unconscious, visible only by her pink bioluminescence.

Marcus tried to stay calm as he sat up, examining his belt. “Okay, let me see… maybe this could work.”

8-0-8: Crab Tank

Streams of digital energy, composed of random 1s and 0s, emerged from the belt. In the space of less than a second, the energy coalesced into a semi-spherical crab-shaped mecha a few times larger than Marcus. He leaned forward, to the point where he was almost lying on his stomach, holding his arms out to grip the control levers.  “Okay, hopefully this works.” He carefully raised the pincers, only for them to slam into the rock, loudly shattering it with the sound of metal on stone.

Marcus blanched, “I’m so sorry if I killed you!” He jumped off the crab tank to examine the aftermath. The young girl was now visible, and starting to wake up. Pink ink-blood trickled down her forehead and a few other spots on her limbs, with pieces of rock covering the ground in front of her. Marcus leaned down, holding out his hand. “You okay? Sorry; I meant to just lift the rock off of you.”

The girl nodded, “Yeah. Thanks. I have bandages in my pocket, so I’ll be fine.”

“Good.” Marcus pointed in the opposite direction from where Viktor and Malecia had left, “But you need to run, now. It’s not safe here, and I’m an agent, so I have to stay here and help.”

“Kay. Good luck.” She ran off, limping and occasionally stopping to bandage herself.

Far above Splatsville, the falcon and the swordfish pursued the hawk and eagle in a massive dogfight. They swerved, ascending and diving through the air, firing electricity and plasma at each other.  “Malecia!” Katherine yelled, chasing the eagle, “Or Viktor, whichever you are! I’m going to make sure you can’t hurt my family ever again!” After a few seconds, she realized, “Wait, how are they supposed to hear me? Does this thing have a megaphone?”

Malecia swerved the eagle, turning to the side and catching the swordfish in its talons. It continued soaring forward, wings outstretched, until it slammed the swordfish into the wall of a massively tall office building.

Katherine screamed as the swordfish crashed into a wall, throwing her into the metal side of the mecha. Her back screamed in pain as she used the wall to stand herself up. She was immediately thrown onto her back as the mech was dragged across the side of the building, filling the space with the sound of metal scraping against the structure. She was dragged, the friction painfully burning her back through her shirt. She fought through the pain to manipulate her belt.

5-0-5: Zipcaster

Katherine’s entire body was coated in a purple glow, similar to ink armor, with the addition of a head covering and long flowing scarf. She willed her arm to stretch out, far longer than a normal zipcaster, and stuck to the ceiling. Just behind her, the tip of the eagle mech’s talons were embedded into the swordfish, leaving barely a crack between them and the mecha’s walls. Kat jumped, briefly turning into an octopus to slip through the crack. She attached her arm to the roof, her scarf flapping wildly as the eagle released the swordfish. “There’s no time left!” Katherine frantically tapped her belt buckle.

0-2-0: Stingray

Katherine fired an enormous plasma laser at the eagle, puncturing a hole into its stomach. The machine briefly staggered, while the zipcaster faltered. Katherine ran while throwing her arm out, desperate to reach the eagle in time.

Lauren watched in horror as the swordfish was nearly mauled by the eagle, and sent crashing to the ground while the enemy mecha resumed its flight. Her horror gave way to exasperation at the tiny purple line stretching out at the eagle. “Kat, why?” She swerved the falcon to the side as the hawk dove at her. When the two mechanical raptors were sufficiently aligned, she piloted her own into a backflip, unfurling it while flying forward to drive its beak into the hawk’s side.

Katherine swung through the air, until she was upside down and directly under the hole she’d struck into the eagle. The zipcaster wore off, while Katherine flipped through the air inside the eagle. Her arms flailed as she descended, until she grabbed onto the edges of the hole. She grunted, the edge digging into her skin, and pulled herself up. Standing up with her fists clenched, she screamed, “Malecia!”

The older octoling turned around, her face contorted into a malicious grin. “There you are, Katherine. I suppose you’re not here to come back home, are you?”

“I’m already home.” Katherine used her belt to remotely shrink her swordfish robo. “And I’m not going to let you and Viktor destroy it!” She ran forward, unclipping the dualies from her waist, and firing them at Malecia. She turned into an octopus to dodge the laser fire, while Katherine’s momentum carried her forward.

Malecia shapeshifted while lunging forward, grabbing Katherine and holding her down by the shoulders, with a knee digging into her daughter’s stomach. “I’m so sorry, sweetie-”

“Shut up!” Katherine swapped one of her dualies into dagger mode, so that she could stab it into Malecia’s shoulder. It dug into the skin, with a wet, squelching sound, overlapped with a scream of agony. She stood up, staggering back while holding her shoulder, purple ink-blood trickling down her side and between her fingers.

“Katherine. How could you? Your own mother…” She yanked the dagger out of her shoulder, covered in the purple viscous liquid up to its hilt. “The inklings really have corrupted you.”

“Shut up.” Katherine averted her eyes away from the woman’s gaping wound. “You’re not my mother. You… you might’ve given birth to me, but you and dad never acted like parents. I have a real family now, that actually cares about me!”

“Please, Kathy.” Malecia collapsed to her knees, hand clasped over her shoulder, “Even if you’ve disowned me, won’t you save a poor old woman’s life?”

“I- I- gah! Fine! But only so I can bring you into the headquarters!” She knelt down in front of her former parent, eyes trained on her while she took some gauze and disinfectant out of a small bag on her leg. “Don’t think for a second that I’m forgiving you. I just want to make sure you’re put away for life, so you can’t hurt my real family.”

“Oh, Katie, baby, Viktor and I are your real family. We love you, and we just want to protect you from the inklings. They’re monsters; they want to keep us underground.” Malecia put a hand on Kat’s shoulders, causing her to flinch while applying the disinfectant.

Katherine scowled, wrapping the gauze and pulling it harder than necessary, causing Malecia to gasp in pain. “Lauren’s the only one allowed to call me Katie. Besides, I know you and Viktor are obsessed with the past, but the inklings are welcoming us to the surface. Maybe if you two did some time and got help, you could realize you’re doing all this for nothing.” She leaned back, looking down, “But that’s just wishful thinking, isn’t it?”

Malecia stood up, one hand gripping her bandages while the other flashed behind her back for a second. “I will never allow myself or my husband to be imprisoned by inkling filth. I’m so sorry, Katherine.”

“Yeah.” Katherine spat, “I’m sure you are. You’re sorry you couldn’t use me as a weapon, or leverage. I’ll never forgive you.”

Malecia snarled, and teleported away. The eagle perched itself on the roof of a building. Katherine waved her swordfish over, closing her fingers so the swordfish could land on her open palm. “You ready, little guy?” She tapped it on the protrusion, “We’ve still gotta deal with Viktor.”

Viktor yelled in shock as the two avian mechas crashed together, with the falcon piercing its beak into the hawk’s side. Lauren jumped out of the cockpit and landed inside the enemy automaton, sprinting forward while remotely shrinking her mecha. The falcon robo flew next to her head while she ran towards Viktor.

“Inkling!” Viktor fired a stream of purple ink at Lauren from an octoshot. She dove to the side, while the falcon pushed through the ammunition. It spread its wings, leaning backwards and stretching out its open talons to scratch Viktor’s face. He cried out, grabbing at the robo and trying to whack it with his octoshot. It briefly retreated, flying behind his back before digging its talons into the wrist holding his weapon. Viktor screamed, throwing the shooter onto the ground while the machine’s talons were covered in his viscous purple ink-blood.

“You… disgusting… inkling!” Vikto attempted to pull the falcon off, only for it to screech, flapping its wings and biting him. “What are you trying to do?!”

“I’m trying to protect my city!” Lauren activated her belt.

2-4-8: Ultra Stamp

The digital energy coalesced as a rod in Lauren’s hands, solidifying as a massive stamp with a head the size of her entire body. She flung the weapon downwards, creating a hole in the bottom of the hawk just in front of her. “Okay, Viktor. Now only one of us has an escape route. Teleport away, or leave the city, or else I’ll grow the falcon to mech size inside of here, and let you deal with what happens next while I jump out and inkjet myself to safety.”

Viktor’s face twisted into a pained scowl. “You wouldn’t dare. You don’t have the guts. You’re nothing but a mindless, vile inkling.”

“Wanna bet?!” Lauren’s hand hovered over her belt, shaking. “When I became captain, I swore to do whatever it took to protect everyone!” Her voice cracked.

“You really are an inkling. A violent monster.” Viktor spat, “Fine. I’ll leave, but only so I can return later, better prepared.”

“Good.” Lauren gestured towards herself, prompting the falcon to fly onto her shoulder. Viktor yelped as the talons pulled out of his skin, “Fine! Enjoy your last weeks alive, inkling.” He teleported away, purple ink-blood dripping onto the floor. The hawk perched itself atop a building, across the street from the eagle. The falcon screeched in Lauren’s ear.

“Ow!” She yelped, “What was that for?” The falcon jumped off her shoulders, flying over to circle above the pool of purple ink-blood. Lauren realized its intentions. “You want to know if I was bluffing, don’t you? Honestly, I think I was, but if I didn’t have a choice…” She clenched her fist, “It doesn’t matter. He’s the enemy, and he hurt my girlfriend, and I had to stop him. Now come on, let’s go see how Kat’s doing.”

Marcus continued walking through the crater, yelling, “Hey! Anyone here?!” He called over to the lion, “You see anything, little guy?” The lion roared, shaking its head as though attempting to dislodge water that wasn’t there. “I’ll take that as a no. Alright, let’s keep looking, and if we don’t find anything, I’ll call Lauren and see if there’s anything else we can do.”

Something crashed into the crater, large enough to send a cloud of smoke billowing up. A humanoid shark, made of clear reflective glass, walked towards Marcus. “Allow me to help you occupy yourself! Maybe I could help you work out. When I’m through with you, you’ll be using daisies as weights!”

“Sorry.” Marcus unfolded the splatling on his back, “But I’ve already got this thing to use. Time for a demonstration!” He fired a bolt of plasma, which deflected off the shark and rocketed towards Marcus. “What?!” He jumped aside, just as the plasma exploded where he’d been, sending him flying with his arms flailing until he crashed into the ground.

“Ugh…What are you?” Marcus groaned, trying to stand up.

“The name’s Reflectinoid!” The selachian walked towards Marcus. “And as for what I am, I’m a makoid! The pirate sharks who rule the seven seas, and we’re not stopping there!”

The lion roared, running across the ruined ground. The tiny machine jumped onto Reflectinoid. The shark laughed, effortlessly throwing the robo off itself. It crashed onto the ground, skidding for a few feet with sparks flying out of it. “No!” Marcus attempted to pick the robo up, only to pull his hand back from the resulting electric shock. Wincing in pain, he opened his belt, allowing the lion to stumble to its feet, and jump inside before he closed it.

“See, little boy? You cephalopods are no match for us! Anything you throw at me, I’ll just send right back to you!”

“You think so? Let’s test that theory!”

0-6-9: Tenta Missiles

Viktor and Malecia teleported into their base at roughly the same time, clutching their respective wounds. “You too?” Viktor wheezed, lurching to the first aid kit on the nearby desk.

“Yes. But Katherine saved my life.” She ran her finger over her bandages, wincing and pulling it away.

“Good.” Viktor bandaged himself, covering the gauze with disinfectant. “Then we haven’t completely lost her.”

Malecia walked over to her husband, shaking her head. “No, she insisted on putting us in prison.”

Viktor scowled, “Then we’ve lost our daughter and worse, the eagle and the hawk. No doubt the inklings will corrupt them as well, like the scavengers they are.”

“Well, it’s not a complete loss.” Malecia took Katherine’s dagger out from the belt behind her back, and placed it on the table, covered in her own ink-blood. “I think we can get something out of this.”

Chapter Text

Lauren and Katherine met on the street, in between the buildings where the eagle and hawk perched. “I got Viktor to leave. I’m guessing you did the same?”

“Yeah. Malecia retreated. Now what?”

Lauren craned her head to look up at the two robots. “First off, I’m thinking we should reprogram those mechs to work for us. And maybe we should give them a paint job too.”

Something crashed onto the street, leaving a crater in its wake. It resembled a humanoid shark, with gray skin and carrying a rusted, curved metal pipe. It snarled inhumanly at the two agents.

“What is that thing?!” Lauren screamed, taking her weapon off her hip. Katherine grabbed her wrist. “Wait, we don’t know if it’s hostile.”

The shark jumped at them, snapping its jaws and swinging the pipe. It was deceptively fast, allowing it to strike both of them. They sprawled on the ground, bloodied and barely able to stand up. “Okay.” Katherine choked, “Now we know.” She swapped her dualies into dagger mode, slicing at the selachian and adding to its dozens of scars. It barely reacted, clawing at her and forcing her to dodge behind it. The shark submerged into a puddle of blue liquid on the ground, somewhere between water and ink in terms of viscosity.

“Wait, it has a swim form too?” Lauren wondered aloud, while the puddle of liquid stretched out into a trail, winding away from the two teenagers. Another trail intersected with the first, avoiding Lauren and Katherine’s plasma shots. Katherine found herself shooting another two trails. The numbers kept increasing, until the street was nearly covered in a blue foreign liquid.

Lauren and Katherine stood back-to-back, firing constant streams of plasma into the unnatural lake. Dozens of sharks emerged, some carrying ink-based weaponry, and others wielding blunt objects. Katherine switched one dualie to firing ink, and turned the other into a dagger. “Captain. You shoot, I’ll stab and ink.”

“Good call, 8.” Lauren fired a horizontal line of plasma into a cluster of the pygmies. Katherine jumped onto one of the marauders, causing it to swing its pipe overhead. She backflipped, less than a second before it would’ve struck her, and landed while throwing down a burst bomb. Immediately after landing, Katherine spun in a full circle on one leg while shooting ink at the ground. “Hey, buddy! You were supposed to conk yourself on the head, like a good mindless soldier!” She ducked underneath another swing, leaning into a spin while horizontal on the ground, and slit the shark’s throat. The blue liquid spewed out of it like a macabre fountain, and the thing collapsed.

Multiple sharks fired pseudo-ink at Katherine from all sides, forcing her to constantly spin around and deflect the shots with her dagger. She constantly needed to swap her weapons between hands, leaving them a blur as she twisted and contorted herself. Blindly, she turned her dualie to its plasma setting, allowing her to shoot and deflect simultaneously. Just as her arms were starting to tire, Lauren jumped over to her side, covering the nearby ground in yellow ink with burst bombs, while firing plasma.

“How many of these things are there?!” Katherine panted, “And where did they come from?!”

“There’s no telling!” Lauren pressed forward, “But we can’t let up! We have to stop these things, no matter what!”

The missiles arced through the air, locking onto Reflectinoid. It watched as they descended upon it. “Nice trick! But it won’t save you.” All ten of the missiles deflected off of its surface, rocketing towards Marcus from multiple angles. He screamed, frantically tapping the buttons on his belt.

9-0-9: Ink Armor

The explosives struck Marcus dead-on, less than a second after the armor had finished coating his entire body. All he could see was an inferno, red-hot flames licking at him as though he’d stepped onto the surface of the sun. He jumped through the flames, embers trailing off him, just as the armor wore off. “There, you see? I’ve got some tricks of my own! And here’s one more!”

2-4-8: Ultra Stamp

“If reflecting ammo’s your gimmick, then let’s see how you do against a melee weapon.” He swung the massive stamp horizontally, yelling from the effort. Reflectinoid jumped over the weapon, landing behind Marcus. “If you think deflections are all I’m good for…” It turned around with its claws outstretched, lacerating Marcus’s back. “...then you’d better reflect on your judgment.”

Marcus screamed in agony, with three lines of bright green ink-blood covering his skin and soaking through his torn shirt. He collapsed to his hands and knees, the ultra stamp disappearing as he concentrated all his efforts solely on not falling onto his stomach. Reflectinoid kicked him, flipping him onto his back. Marcus barely managed to turn his arms in time to catch himself, so that his wounds wouldn’t come into contact with the pavement. He felt lightheaded from the ink-blood pouring onto the ground. Reflectinoid grabbed him by the neck, pulling him up. “I’m guessing that belt’s the source of your power, isn’t it? Let’s see how you do on your own!”

“No… please…” Marcus tried in vain to scratch at the hand holding his neck. Sharp claws tapped his jugular. Reflectinoid plunged its open hand into his belt buckle, clawing at the wiring inside, before tossing him effortlessly. He arced through the air for a few seconds until his back hit a car door, sending a violent jolt of pain through his entire nervous system. The belt sparked, causing him to spasm from the electric shock.

Reflectinoid slowly walked towards Marcus, mouth upturned into an inhuman grin, eyes showing nothing but sadistic joy. “Just as I thought. You're nothing but a scared, squirming little cephalopod. I'm going to kill you slowly so I can enjoy your misery, and we're gonna lay waste to this city, just like we’ve done thousands of times!”

"No…!" Marcus entered the code on his transporter, leaving nothing behind except a pool of green ink-blood.

While Sheldon was administering first aid to the splatsquad, each laid out on a separate blanket between them and the Alternan snow, Meggy insisted, “Dude, we need to figure something out! That thing tanked all our hits like it was nothing!”

“No need to worry, agent Spletzer. I can personally assure you that agents 3, 4, and 8 will have no trouble dealing with this, just like any regular octarian.”

“But that’s just the thing!” Kenji argued, “It wasn’t octarian! I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

Nearby, there was the faint sound of someone teleporting behind Sheldon. Marcus coughed, “Sheldon! Help!”

The horseshoe crab rolled his eyes, not that anyone could see it under his massive goggles. “It’s just one thing after another, isn’t it? What is it, agent- agent 4!”

Marcus stumbled forward, hunched over to keep the ink-blood from pouring out of his back. His belt sparked every few seconds, causing him to spasm while green ink-blood poured out of his mouth, as he sputtered, “Shark… mirror… nothing work-” Marcus collapsed onto his stomach, eyes open and vacant, his back covered in the same viscous substance that was streaming out of his mouth.

“Marcus!” Sheldon screamed, dropping everything and running over to him. The splatsquad immediately stood up. “No.” Sheldon insisted, “You three need rest-”

“Nuts to that squit!” Meggy interrupted, “There’s no way you can carry him on your own! Sam, you’re with me! Kenji, make sure he has something to lie down on!”

“Uhh… right!” Sam followed Meggy, while Kenji ran over to grab a cot from the nearby pile of miscellaneous objects. They each grabbed one of Marcus’s arms and legs, while Sheldon held up his head to let the ink-blood flow from his mouth. “He’s going to be fine, right?” Sam averted his eyes while carrying Marcus.

Kenji gathered a handful of gauze-rolls, bringing them over to a cot laid flat on the ground.

“Of course.” Sheldon assured, “Agent 4’s survived worse. Like when he was shot clean through a heart, or tortured in the deepsea metro-”

“Sheldon, this is no time to acknowledge continuity that only you were there for!” Kenji yelled over. He finished setting up, and ran to help carry Marcus by the legs. When they reached the cot, Sheldon instructed them, “Okay, sit him up. That’ll make it easier for me to bandage him. And then go back to resting; you all need it.”

While the splatsquad reluctantly did as they were told, Sheldon disinfected Marcus’s wounds, trying to hide just how concerned he truly was.

A few minutes later, while everyone except Sheldon was asleep, Lauren and Katherine teleported into Alterna. Both were covered in bruises, with black eyes and cuts in their tentacle-hair. Sheldon blanched, “Not you too!”

Lauren and Katherine, holding each other up, examined the area. “Sheldon…” Lauren gasped, voice haggard, “What happened?”

“The new agents told me they fought a shark monster made of some sort of glass that reflected all their attacks. After I was done bandaging them, Marcus teleported in. All he said was something about a shark, and a mirror-”

“Marcus!” Katherine ran over to her brother, constantly limping until she reached him. He was lying unconscious on his side, with gauze wrapped around his entire torso. The lion paced in front of him, occasionally pawing him. “What happened?!”

“I already told you, I don’t know the specifics, but I think he fought the same monster as the splatsquad. In that case, they got off lucky.”

Katherine kneeled down, a hand on Marcus’s shoulder. “He- he’s going to be okay, right? Sheldon?”

“Yes, agent 8, he’ll be fine.”

“Okay. Okay, good.” Katherine sat back, watching over the inkling. “I can’t believe we were all incapacitated at the same time.”

“I’m guessing you two also fought the mirror shark?” Sheldon assumed. Lauren shook her head. “No. We fought an entire army of these shark-things. None of them could reflect our shots or anything, but there were just so many of them.” She stumbled to sit on her crates. “They’re still up there; we didn’t have a choice but to retreat.” She punched the crate, wincing in pain and rubbing her wrist. “I can’t believe this! What are these things?!”

“Agent Spletzer told me that it called itself a makoid. Considering how dangerous it’s proven to be, it’s probably the leader, or at least somewhat higher up in the hierarchy.” Sheldon explained, “I’ll call agents one and two in from Inkopolis. Hopefully they’ll be able to do something.”

“Okay. Good” Katherine stroked her swordfish’s protrusion, “Too bad Pearl and Marina retired.”

“Yeah, can’t say I really blame them, though. Besides, at least their new band is good. Weird name, though.”

Sheldon put down his communicator. “They’re not answering.”

“What?” Lauren shot up, while her falcon perched on her shoulder. “What do you mean, ‘they’re not answering’?”

“I mean, they’re not answering! It’s almost as if-”

“Something might be jamming the signal.” Sam suggested. Everyone turned to look at him. “Oh, sorry, I just woke up. I’ve been listening for a few minutes.”

“Great. Just great. And we’re all the agents in splatsville, so we can’t call the others- oh!” Lauren whipped out her phone, “Let me try something!” She dialed Callie’s number. “Come on, come on…” The phone emitted a brief dial tone, until Lauren tossed it into the snow. She yelled in frustration, “Of course it couldn’t be that easy! Okay, Sam, any bright ideas?”

“Maybe. If they’re jamming the signal, then that probably means they’ve got some sort of counter-signal interfering with ours. If we can find wherever they’re sending that signal from, we could destroy it and call for backup.”

“Nice theory, but there’s just one problem.” Lauren added, “If these guys- whoever they are- have any sort of competency, which they clearly do, then no doubt they’ll have this counter-signal generator under heavy guard. I think it’s safe to say none of us are in any condition to deal with that right now, plus we’ve still got to deal with the enemy army in Splatsville. Not to mention whatever did this to Marcus.” She gestured to her unconscious friend.

Katherine squeezed Marcus’s wrist, eyes closed and breaths shortening, clenching her other fist until her knuckles turned white. “I’m going to kill that thing. I’m going to split its head open, slit its throat, and spill its intestines like the rotted, bloated corpse of a fish that it is!”

“Katherine, stop!” Lauren jumped off her crates and ran over, grabbing Katherine’s shoulder and wrist. “You’re hurting him!” Katherine breathed, and looked down at Marcus. Her grip had tightened severely on his wrist, and his face was unconsciously contorted in pain. His lion robo snarled at Katherine, with her swordfish robo floating between them.

She gasped and released him. “Marcus, I’m so sorry!” She released him, while bringing her other wrist up to his head. The lion snapped at her, causing her to immediately retract her hand, until the swordfish floated closer to the lion. “Hey, it’s alright.” Kat whispered, slowly moving her hand, “I’m not going to hurt him. I would never hurt him.” The lion backed up, watching Kat’s hand as it slowly moved onto Marcus’s head. “There’s gotta be something we can do.”

“I have an idea.” Meggy interjected, “Almost ten years ago, when I was eight, I watched my first turf war in person when my dad took me to a tournament finale in Inkopolis. There was this one player, who everyone called ‘Oneshot Wren’. I watched him take out the entire enemy team with a charger. A charger! That doesn’t happen.”

“Guy sounds like potential agent material.” Lauren remarked, eyebrow raised, “I think I’ve seen Marie pull that off a couple times. So, you think this Wren guy can help us?”

“Maybe! It’s worth a shot, and we clearly don’t have any other leads.”

“Cool. So, where is he?” Sam asked, having woken up as well.

Meggy shrugged, “I’m not sure. After that game, he just disappeared. I think he was, like, 16 back then. So now he’d be in his 20’s. Some say he went into the splatland deserts, to hone his skills even further. It’s always been my dream to face him in a turf war; he’s my inspiration for joining the sport! If I could surpass him, either in a 1v1 or a 4v4, then I’d know I have what it takes to make the splatsquad the next legendary team.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Sam gestured to the kettle leaning back to Splatsville, “Just go out in the desert and hope for the best? You’ve been there dozens of times and never met him, right? Or have you met him and you just haven’t told us?”

“What? No, of course I’d tell you guys if that happened! Wren’s the one I got my headgear from!” Meggy took off her beanie, headphones, and goggles.

“Yeah, Sammy.” Kenji pointed at Meggy, stifling laughter, “If Megs actually met Oneshot Wren, we’d never hear the end of it!”

“Okay, good. We have a plan.” Katherine tried to smile. “Sort of. You guys ready to go?”

“Are you kidding?!” Meggy stood up, throwing her hands outwards, “I’ve been waiting to do this for years!”

“Sounds good. Then you three will go out and find Oneshot Wren, and we’ll stay here and figure out a way to get rid of these things infesting the city.” Lauren decided.

“You mean lick our wounds and hope they don’t take too long?” Katherine implicitly corrected her.

Lauren crossed her arms. “I know what I said. You kids be careful out there, okay?”

“Will do, captain!” Meggy waved while running.

After the splatsquad had left through the kettle, Katherine leaned backwards in the snow. “Mark. Please be okay.” Lauren walked over to the two, kneeling down next to Katherine and hugging her. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Marcus is an agent like us; this isn’t going to do him in.” She kissed the top of Katherine’s head. “We’ll just have to wait a few hours.”

Lauren turned her head. “Hey, Sheldon, how long until Marcus gets better?”

“It shouldn’t be longer than a couple of hours, captain Laker. I’ve disinfected and bandaged him, so all we have to do now is wait for him to wake up. He lost a lot of ink, though, so it’ll take a while.”

“See, Kate?” Lauren draped her longest tentacle-hairs over Katherine, “He’s gonna be alright. I promise, we’re going to figure out what’s going on, and we’ll all get out of it perfectly safe.”

“Thanks, Lorie.” Katherine nestled into her chest, eyes closed and mouth curled into a smile. “You always know how to make me feel better. You’re such an awesome girlfriend.”

Lauren stroked Katherine’s head, twirling her ponytail around her finger. She smiled, with a distinct sense of contentment and serenity, as she purred in her arms. “So are you, Katie.”

Meggy, Sam, and Kenji emerged into the flaming battlefield that’d once been central splatsville. Dozens of makoids, of multiple varieties, were storming the streets. Several inklings were attempting to fight back to no avail, as the makoids outnumbered and outmaneuvered them. Meggy shot down three makoids at once, before they could strike down a small group of cephalings. “Run, now!” The few of them nodded, and sprinted into a nearby building.

“Come on, this way!” Sam pointed, and started leading Meggy and Kenji in the same direction. Kenji slammed his roller into the makoids, while Sam and Meggy shot the ones further away and on exterior balconies. “Hopefully we don’t run into that mirror thing-” They stopped in their tracks, as the crowd of makoids cleared. Reflectinoid stood alone, in the middle of a circle of charred pavement.

Kenji glared at Sam. “Sweetie, I love you, but you really need to stop saying stuff like that.”

Reflectinoid laughed. Its claws were still covered in Marcus’s sticky green ink-blood as it dripped onto the road. “You’re those kids from earlier, aren’t you? Never thought I’d see you around again. Go ahead, try and take me down if you like! Think you can do it? Or are you going to let us burn this city to the ground?”

Meggy snarled, “I’ll burn you to the ground!” She raised her bow, and grabbed the string. “No!” Sam grabbed her arm, and Kenji grabbed the other. “It’s not going to work!” Meggy struggled, while Reflectinoid walked closer. “Keep struggling, little girl. It’ll never mean anything, just like anything you do. Your species will be nothing more than a colorful stain on this planet’s history, except the ones we use for free labor. So what do you three say? Would you rather be enslaved for the rest of your lives, or put out of my misery here and now?”

Meggy renewed her struggles, howling, “Let me go! I’m going to kill that thing!” She tore herself out of Sam and Kenji’s grip, causing them to fall back onto the pavement. With trembling hands, she fired a dozen bolts of plasma in rapid succession. All of them deflected off of reflectinoid, forcing the inklings to throw themselves onto the ground so the plasma struck the surrounding makoids instead of themselves.

“Idiot!” Kenji dragged Meggy up by the arms, sprinting with Sam following close behind. “We’ve gotta run!” Sam fired plasma into the crowd, while Reflectinoid chased after them.

“There’s no way we can fight that thing off!” Sam glanced behind him, at the monster reflecting the other makoids in itself. “Any ideas to outrun it?” A shape blurred past the three. A girl screamed, “Just stop already!” Desti swung a splatana at Reflectinoid. While the weapon shattered against it, the creature flinched, and Desti kicked off of it into a backflip. She landed in front of her fellow cephalings. “Let’s go! That won’t keep him down for long. Or at least I doubt it.”

Without the time to question her, the splatsquad sprinted away from Reflectinoid alongside Desti. They turned a corner into another street before Reflectinoid could notice them. The four of them stopped in their tracks. The street was littered with the corpses of dozens of makoids. All varieties slumped over in the middle of the road, and on the walls to the sides. Red ink was splashed all over the area. Meggy sharply inhaled, and extended her arms straight out. “What the hell happened here?”

Sam knelt by a splotch of red ink on the ground, next to a dead makoid and a metal pipe. “No clue, but whoever did this probably wasn’t a regular civilian. Maybe they were another agent?”

“Maybe… come on, let’s hide in here.” Kenji gestured to a door, with two makoids in front of it that’d each been stabbed by the artificial protrusions on the other’s head. “We can get our bearings, and then figure out the next plot point.” The group retreated into the building. Its original purpose was unclear, with the sign having collapsed and broken on the ground, and the furniture strewn about with everything covered in red ink. The four of them sat down behind a stained brown couch.

“Why’d you help us?” Meggy asked, leaning a few inches away from Desti. The octoling rolled her eyes, and pushed Meggy by the head onto the ground. “Again, just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean I want to see you guys killed. Also…” She leaned back, hands between her head and a dried ink stain on the couch. “Nadine told me how you saved her and the rest of my team, plus some others. I owe you for that.”

Meggy sat up, grinning widely. “Well well well well well. Who knew the young miss Daiki had some hearts?”

“We’re the same age, Spletzer.” Desti pointed at the back door. “Come on, let’s go through there.”

“Okay, but if you’re going to join us, you’re gonna need a weapon. And I mean a real one, like what we have.” Kenji dialed his communicator. “Hey, Sheldon, you wouldn’t happen to have a hero splatana DX, would you?”

“Actually, you’re in luck, agent Kisaragi! I just finished the first one while waiting for agent 4 to recover. And tell whoever it’s for that the New Squidbeak Splatoon is always looking for new recruits.”

“Alright, thanks man.” Kenji held out his hand, waiting for the weapon to appear in his hand before hanging up. He handed it to Desti. “Here. instead of ink, it shoots plasma.”

“Cool.” She reverently traced her fingers on the metallic edges. “Hey Megs, mind if I use you as target practice?”

Meggy aimed her stringer point-blank at Desti. “Try me.”

“Nope.” Sam moved in between them, pushing the two away from each other. “We don’t have time for this. Let’s go already! Des, we’ll tell you our plan on the way.” He dragged them to their feet. The four of them sprinted out of the back door and onto a side street.

A redheaded inkling jumped down from the rafters after the splatsquad left. She brought a wristband device up to her mouth, and turned it on with her other hand. “Admiral, can you hear me?”

“Affirmative, commander Rorea.” The admiral’s deep voice came through, “Is the city safe?”

“Hardly. There’s still dozens of makoids, and there’s a makinoid that can deflect ranged weaponry. But there’s something I wanted to tell you. I don’t think this city is as defenseless as we thought.”

While Lauren stretched her limbs, and Sheldon sent another weapon to the agents on the surface, Katherine watched over her brother. He’d started breathing more evenly, and his lion robo had curled itself into a circle in front of his face. The swordfish chittered in Kat’s ear. She turned her head, and stroked the machine’s back. “You know I have no idea what you’re saying, right?”

“Hey, Kat!” Lauren called from the middle of the snowfield, “You wanna do some stretches? Might help with your bruises!”

Katherine rubbed her finger up and down her swordfish’s protrusion. “I dunno. I know being here won’t actually affect Marcus one way or the other, but I just want to make sure he’s okay. Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry, Katie.” Lauren stretched her leg behind herself. Katherine turned away, rubbing her face as she blushed.

“Yeah. That’s the only reason.” Katherine placed her hands on her knees. She instantly shot up when Marcus started to move. He unconsciously brought his hand up to his face, before opening his eyes. “Ow. My back.”

“Mark!” She lunged, pulling him into an embrace while sitting him up. “You’re okay!”

“Ow! My back! Not helping!” Marcus rapidly hit Katherine’s back, “You’re…! …Not…! …Helping!”

“Oh squit!” Katherine immediately released Marcus. He hunched over, hands folded over his stomach, breathing fast and raspily. Katherine hesitated before asking, “So. How do you feel?”

“Like I got tossed through a woodchipper.” He groaned, “And like I’m going to-” A puddle of bile and vomit ejected itself from his mouth. Katherine abruptly backed up, averting her eyes and kicking snow on top of the vomit.

“Yeah. That. Sorry.” Marcus grabbed some tissues out of his pocket to wipe his mouth off. “I know I’ll hate the answer, but I have to ask: What’d I miss?”

“The kids went up to the surface to try and find some turf war legend on the off chance he might be able to help us.”

“Oh, good. At least they’re not being stupider than usual.” He stood up, grunting in pain. “What are we waiting for?”

“Uh, for you to stop looking like you’re gonna keel over from a light breeze?” Lauren paused her exercises to jog over to the siblings. “Seriously, dude, I love the enthusiasm, but this…” She gestured up and down Marcus’s entire hunched-over body, “No. Just no. Hopefully, it’ll only take a few more minutes before you’re battle-ready again.”

“Fine.” Marcus winced, “I just wish I could do something! I hate leaving everything to others, and not being able to do anything about it!” He laid on the cot, facing the artificial sky.

“Hey, Mark, I know what that’s like.” Lauren glanced around. “Tell ya what: I’ll get Sheldon to watch over you, Katherine and I will go up to the city and fight those shark things, and you can teleport to us as soon as you’re ready. Deal?”

Marcus smiled somewhat. “Deal. But promise me you’ll be careful. Please. I don’t want either of you getting hurt like I did.”

“No worries; we’ll be fine.” Lauren assured him, “And you remembered to take your meds this morning, right?”

“Yeah, of course. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Lauren stood up and put her hand on Katherine’s shoulder. “Come on, Katie. Let’s go send those sharks back to the sea.”

“I’m bored.” Desti complained, rolling her head on her neck, “How much longer do we have to walk?”

“Well, considering the size of the splatlands desert, and the fact that we have no idea where this guy is…” Sam glared at her, “I have no idea. But if you’d rather go back into the city…”

“No, no, I think I can tolerate you guys a while longer instead. I can’t believe I’m choosing to hang out with you idiots.” She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. “I just hope the rest of my team’s alright. They’re smart, so they probably found somewhere to hide and wait it all out. Besides, at least those agents are still in the city, so it’s not like they’re totally defenseless.” She glared at Meggy, “Then again, they’ve gotta be desperate now to recruit you of all cephalings.”

“Only if by that, you mean they have desperately good taste.”

“I’m going to punch you for how stupid and nonsensical that was.” Desti walked over to Meggy, clenched her fist, and conked the inkling on the head.

“Oh, now it’s on!” Meggy pounced on Desti. The two cephalings clawed at each other, rolling and covering themselves in sand. Sam and Kenji watched them as they rolled down a dune.

“Should we do something? I feel like we should do something…?” Sam took only one step before Kenji blocked him with his arm. “No, wait; I wanna see who wins.”

“You’re a jerk!” Meggy punched Desti in the nose.

“And you’re an idiot!” Desti grabbed Meggy’s shoulders to crash their foreheads together. They rolled on top of each other, switching positions every second, constantly punching, biting, and occasionally pulling each others’ tentacle-hair.

“Hey, morons, look over there!” Kenji yelled, pointing at the middle distance while Sam was watching the fight in horror.

“ What?! ” Meggy and Desti looked where Kenji was pointing, where an individual with gray tentacle-hair was walking away from them. Meggy gasped, standing up while pushing Desti to the ground. “That’s gotta be him!” She sprinted through the sand, waving her arms and yelling, “Wren! Wren! We need to talk to you!”

Desti grabbed her arm, pulling her back. “Spletzer, you idiot. He’s not going to hear you from this far away.”

Sam clenched his fists. His entire body shook. His mouth opened into a loud yell, “You’re both imbeciles!” He jumped, turned himself horizontal, and kicked them both in the face simultaneously, sending them flying into the sand. “You two can kill each other after we’re done saving the city. Okay?”

“ Okay. ” Meggy and Desti rolled their eyes, stood up, and started walking in the direction they’d been running. They gradually and intentionally diverged from each other.

“Man, honey, how’d you do that?” Sam gaped.

Kenji shrugged, “Eh, I’ve been dealing with Megs for a couple years now, and Desti’s got a lot in common with her. That’s probably why they can’t get along.”

“Huh. That is surprisingly insightful for-”

“But I still wonder which of them would’ve won.”

“Aaand there it is.” Sam rolled his eyes good-naturedly, and started walking.

“Hey, Sheldon, I think I’m starting to feel a lot better. D’you think I should go back to the girls?”

The crab looked up at the inkling. “I believe that’s up to you to decide. If you feel like you can sufficiently walk and fight, then by all means, be my guest.”

“Thanks, man.” Marcus jumped up, jogged in pace for a few seconds, and punched and kicked with each limb. “Hey, I feel great!” He knelt down to rub his palm on the engineer’s shell. “I don’t know what you did, but whatever it was, it worked!” He briefly looked aside, before returning his gaze. “Listen, Sheldon, I know we don’t always treat you great. I promise I’ll talk to the others about changing that. Your tech’s saved us more times than I can count, and you’re a great guy, so you deserve a lot better than just being a glorified weapons dispenser.”

“Wow. Agent 4, I- that’s- thank you!” Sheldon rapidly shook Marcus’s hand, with surprising strength given his diminutive stature, “Now get out there and tear those interlopers apart with the weapons I’ve granted you!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Marcus activated his transporter.

f

Just in front of the Splatsville battle lobby tower, a horde of makoids destroyed everything they saw. Marcus appeared from nowhere, next to a teleport beacon, already preemptively mid-kick to strike a makoid in the face. He kicked off, twisting in midair while simultaneously unfolding the splatling off his back, and fired plasma that annihilated several makoids before he landed on the ground, legs apart to keep himself balanced.

Marcus sprinted, firing and bashing the dozens of makoids in his path, until dozens of them surrounded him. “Alright. Since you guys are from the water, let’s see if you can handle being in the splash zone!”

1-1-1: Splashdown

Marcus rose into the air. The makoids could only watch as his body was wreathed in a green glow. His fist was wrapped in green. He rocketed down, punching the pavement, and conjured a massive explosion around himself. The dome of flames annihilated every makoid within a 20-foot radius. Marcus heard someone screaming from the bottom of the stairs.

“Hold on; I’m coming!” Marcus jumped onto the railing, holding his splatling overhead with both arms to balance himself, until he landed into a dropkick. He jumped in front of an inkling his age, where a makoid tossed a spear at him.

9-0-9: Ink Armor

The armor enveloped Marcus, at the exact nanosecond wherein the spear reached him. It shattered off his chest, and he activated his belt once more.

0-9-6: Bomb Launcher

The digital energy solidified into a shoulder-mounted device, allowing Marcus to launch dozens of bombs in every variety. By the time it wore off, he’d cleared an entire swath of the makoids and effectively cleared the area for the time being. He turned around to help the civilian to his feet. “You okay?” He recognized the young man. “Hey, you’re that guy from the arcade. James, right?”

“Wh- oh, yeah. You’re an ag- ow! -an agent?” James clutched his chest and hissed in dull pain.

“Yeah, but now’s not the time for autographs.” Marcus smiled reassuringly, “You okay? Can you get home alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. My place is just down the street. It’s just that all this running is making me sweat, and the sweat’s making my binder tighten up, and- gah! Okay. Maybe I could use some help.”

“Alright. C’mere.” Marcus draped James’s arm across his own shoulders to support him. “Hopefully, we can get to your place before the makoids come back to this area. Just let me tell the others real quick.”

“Oh, sorry, do you need me to-”

“Nah, man, it’s cool; you’re fine.” Marcus maneuvered his arm to activate his communicator.

“Marcus?” Lauren inquired, “Are you ready to come back?"

“Uh, yeah, about that. I’m sort of already up here. I just cleared a path near the tower, and now I’m helping a civilian evacuate.”

“Got it. Do they need medical attention?”

Marcus looked up at James. “Think you need to see a doctor or something?” He shook his head, “Nah. I just need to change my binder, and then I should be fine. As long as I stay low, of course.”

“Got it.” Marcus returned to the communicator, “He’s fine. Just give me a few minutes, okay?”

“Sure thing, agent 4. 8 and I can take things from here.”

“Good. See you soon, captain.” Marcus turned off the communicator. “Not to sound impatient or anything, but how much farther?”

“It should only be a couple dozen feet.” James smiled slightly. “You’re pretty strong.”

“Thanks.” Marcus returned the smile. “I’m a splatling user, so that’s probably why.”

“Neat. I use a blaster myse- oh, here’s my place.” James pointed at an apartment building on their side of the street. “I should be good now; my room’s not that far in.” He walked over to the building, waving back, “Thanks, Marcus! Don’t want to keep you any longer!” He walked through the door, and let it close behind himself.

The splatsquad entered a small sandstone cave, carved into a massive dune. The entire interior of the structure was visible from the entrance. A young man stood inside, with three other cephalings near the back. “Hey.” He pointed at the group, “What brings you three here?”

“I-I-I-I-” Meggy stammered, motionless aside from vibrating in place.

“What’s going on?!” Desti stepped back, arm in front of her face.

“Oh, I know what this is.” Sam’s eyes narrowed, “She’s having a fangirl overload.”

Sam poked Meggy’s arm. Her voice pitched up about an octave. “Heh. This is actually kinda fun.”

Chapter Text

“Um. Is she okay?” Wren pointed at Meggy. She was still vibrating, and Sam was still poking her arm, after 5 minutes.

“Okay, that’s enough of that.” Desti slapped Meggy in the back, causing her to fall forward and faceplant. A second later, she shot back up to her feet.

“Sorry, sorry! Hi! Big fan! I’m Metzer Spleggy. I mean, Spleggy Metzer. I-I mean, gah, Meggy Spletzer. Yeah. That one.”

Wren smiled. The other cephalings watched them with mild bemusement. “Nice to meet you. You look familiar somehow.” He squinted, and took notice of her headwear. “Oh! You’re that girl from that one turf match, aren’t you?”

“Yeah! You actually remembered?”

“I do now.” Wren patted Meggy’s beanie. “You really grew into it, huh? Back then, you couldn’t even see out of these.”

“Wow! Wow, sir, I- I don’t even-! Wow! Sam! Kenji! Did you see that?! Oneshot Wren just gave me a headpat!”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Meggy, come on, we’ve got important stuff to do. We can’t have you goofing off and fangirling while the entire city’s counting on us.”

“Woah, wait, back up.” One of the other cephalings, an inkling boy with his indigo tentacle-hair tied into a topknot, waved his hands between himself. “What do you mean, the entire city’s at stake?”

Kenji bodily pushed in front of Meggy. His eyes briefly glowed red, and his voice turned bestial for all of a syllable, “We mean, there’s an army of shark-things invading Splatsville, their leader deflects all our attacks like nothing, and they’ve downed our communications with Inkopolis!”

“Huh?!” Wren stumbled back from Kenji. “Are you serious? You can’t be serious; that’s impossible!”

“Impossible’s been losing meaning for years now.” Kenji pointed outside, “Or did you not see the red giant nearly two years ago? Y’know, when the entire sky turned red?”

Wren’s jaw dropped. “No way. That was you guys?”

“Eh, not exactly.” Sam corrected, “That was the New Squidbeak Splatoon. It happened long before we joined them.”

“You guys are with the New Squidbeak Splatoon?” The other inkling boy asked. He wore a similar tentacle-style to his companion, except blue. “Did they still have those human guys with them?”

Wren cocked his head to the side, turning the tattoo on his face towards the ceiling. “Humans? I thought they were extinct?”

“They are, but last time we saw those agent guys, they were with some humans from other dimensions. Two of them actually had wings.” The indigo-tentacled boy elaborated, “It’s a long story.”

The only other octoling aside from Desti scoffed. She made a point of keeping only one side visible. “Tha’s one way o’ puttin’ it. Th’ three o’ us got pulled into this universe from our own, fought their friend-” She pointed at the other two boys, “-and wandered off inta th’ desert ta find somefink ta do in this new world.”

Wren wheeled around. “Wait, you mean you guys are from another dimension?! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“You never asked.” The boy with indigo tentacle-hair waved past him at the splatsquad and Desti. “Hi. Name’s Innes, by the way.” He pointed at the other two, “The other guy is Hector, and the girl with the funky accent is Mabyn.”

“What’s up? And more importantly, what makes you think we can help you?”

“Honestly, we’re not sure. It’s just that this was the best we could think of.” Meggy admitted.

Wren started pacing around. “Actually, there is something I might be able to give you guys.” He walked to the back of the cave, where an outcropping served as a curved bench of sorts. He kneeled with one knee on the outcropping, and splayed his palms on the wall above his head. “Let’s just say there’s a reason I chose this place as my hideout.” A flat slab of sandstone was pulled out and placed aside. Wren reached back into the hole left in the wall. He stood on top of the outcropping with both legs, and his arms went in past the elbows.

“How come you never told us about this?!” Innes craned his neck at the hole in the wall.

Wren smirked. “You never asked.”

Hector elbowed Innes in the side. “He’s got you there.”

Wren pulled out a massive scroll, made of a yellowing and torn-edged parchment. It was bound by three red strings tied around it, and in the middle was a sword sheaf. He untied the strings, placed the sheaf to the side, and unfurled the scroll. The sheaf was made of a dark red leather. A primitive drawing was etched into it, depicting four cephalings standing together against a horde of salmonids. The scroll stretched down onto the floor. Its contents were written in large, cursive print.

Ikaken, chanraba yukimatashi takotae pinkfish, tsudake chanraba Kachichi.

“I’m pretty sure this is olde Cephalin, but I have no idea what it means.” Wren held it up for them.

Kenji squinted at the parchment. “I think…” He walked closer to Wren. “I’m not sure, but I think it means something along the lines of ‘this sword, wielded by the brave souls who fought off the salmonids, may only be wielded by one who is worthy.’ Roughly.”

“Huh. I was wondering what it meant. Anyway…” He reached back into the crevice, and pulled out three identical objects, “I found four of these things, and that’s why I decided to hang out here. I thought they were, like, I dunno, some sort of historical artifacts, so I’ve been guarding them ever since. A few months back, I met these three and convinced them to join up with me.”

“More like ya joined up with us.” Mabyn countered.

“Yeah, sure.” Wren waved her off, “Now, I don’t know much about pre-turf war history, but it’ll probably be fine if I give you guys these swords.” He picked up one of the blades, turning the leather in his hands. “Here. I haven’t been to Splatsville in a while, but I’m happy to help protect it.”

“Than-” Kenji placed his hand on the sword, before retracting it immediately, and stumbling back, gasping, “No! No, no, no! That sword- we can’t just take it!”

“What?” Innes sat up from his slouch, “Why the hell not?”

“Okay. I know this is gonna sound nuts, but I’ve been into occult and magic stuff ever since the red giant incident from december 2020. Trust me, that sword has some crazy magic on it, more than anything I’ve seen before. In fact, it’s said that a lot of artifacts from the early mollusc era have magic properties. They’re crazy rare, though, since they’re all either hidden or destroyed over time, so they aren’t mainstream though.”

“Wha- okay, now I know you’re messing with me.” Wren crossed his arms, “Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”

“Wait, Wren, listen to him.” Innes jumped up, and pointed at Kenji, “You. When you say magic stuff, do you mean like, I dunno, a gem that you could use to trap someone inside and take their form.”

Kenji’s mouth opened. “The orb of souls. I only read about it in one book, and it was said to be sealed in a temple deep in the Splatlands. How do you know about it?!”

“Oh, that’s a long story.” Hector explained, “This thing that was sort of like an evil mind-thingy from this dimension’s agent 3 used it on our friend, who’s actually the agent 3 of our dimension, and then we freed her, and then she teamed up with the New Squidbeak Splatoon to stop her. Or something like that. Honestly, I’m still not entirely sure what happened that day.”

“The more I learn about you guys…” Wren shook his head, rolled his eyes, and placed the swords next to each other on the outcropping. “Okay, new plan.” He clasped his hands together, and turned around. A grin spread onto his face. “Since we’re apparently the guardians of these blades, we’re gonna challenge you four to see if you’re worthy!”

Marcus, Lauren, and Katherine simultaneously dropkicked three separate makoids, before Katherine sliced one down its entire body with both daggers, and Marcus and Lauren shot the other two point-blank. “How much more of these things?!” Marcus yelled, “And where’s the leader?!”

“No clue on both!” Lauren admitted, spinning in a full circle while shooting. She opened her belt to release the falcon robo. It shot through the air like a yellow bullet, using its metallic wings to slice the dozens of makoids in its path. It was too small and fast for their weaponry to strike it, causing a number of them to inadvertently hit their comrades. “Falcon, go and get us some aerial surveillance!” The machine gave her a loud caw in response, folded its wings, and launched itself straight up.

“We’re going too!” Katherine opened her belt. “Isn’t that right, Swordy?” Her swordfish robo chirped, and swam through the air while stabbing a makoid with its protrusion.

“Swordy?” Marcus side-eyed her skeptically, releasing his lion robo.

“What? It’s short for swordfish. Duck!”

Marcus ducked. Katherine swapped out her daggers for their dualie mode, and fired into the makoid while its arms were raised and its weapon overhead. Mark turned around by pivoting on one foot, and kicking the other into the makoid’s stomach. He struck it with his splatling, before finishing it off with a burst of plasma. “Thanks. But it’s still the same amount of syllables, so how’s it short? Behind you!”

Katherine turned around and plunged her dagger into a makoid’s shoulder, using it as leverage to maneuver onto its back. She stabbed its other shoulder, and kicked off with both legs. Her daggers wrenched themselves from the makoid with twin streams of blue pseudo-ink-blood. While she was flipped upside-down and in front of it, she converted her weapons to ranged mode and fired into the makoid. “Thanks. And you may be right, but shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Marcus rolled his eyes, offhandedly shooting a few makoids to the side. “Can you give me a boost?”

“Got it.” Katherine held her arms out, bent at the elbows with her daggers crossed. She lunged forward to keep balance. “Ready!”

“Thanks sis!” Marcus folded his splatling onto his back while running forward. He jumped onto Kat’s daggers. She stood upright, while he used the daggers as a springboard. Marcus unfolded the splatling to fire in midair. At the same time, Katherine turned around while shifting her weapons to ranged mode, firing in a single motion.

“Okay, good news and bad news.” Lauren side-jumped off a makoid while firing at it by crossing her arm in front of herself, and turning her arm to fire on her other side. “The good news is that I think we’ve taken down most of these things.” The falcon robo screeched behind her, twisting in the air to slice a makoid with its wings, and driving its beak into the chest of another. “The bad news is that apparently, I don’t speak bird-bot. So much for aerial surveillance.”

“Maybe we should use the mechs, and take them all out at once.” Marcus suggested. The lion robo jumped onto his shoulder from behind, and jumped again to maul one of the sharks.

Lauren shook her head, “Against enemies this small, the mechs would be more of a danger to the civilians and buildings. There’s a reason we only use them against things that’re just as big at minimum.”

“Plus, we’ve still got no idea what to do against their leader.” Katherine sliced a makoid with one hand, while flipping her dualie upside-down to fire behind herself with the other.

“I think I’m feeling a sneeze coming on!” A voice called from above, “You’re all talking about me, aren’t you?!” Reflectinoid jumped down from a fire escape, leaving a crater in the ground, with a rictus grin. “Don’t you know it’s rude to talk about someone behind their back? The least you could do is include me in the conversation.”

“Alright, here’s something.” Marcus raised his splatling. “Leave the city, and take your fellow freaks with you to wherever you came from, or we’ll see just how effective your armor is.”

“Go ahead, little squid!” Reflectinoid spread its arms wide. “See my invincibility for yourself. Or maybe you’re just a glutton for punishment.” It bared its claws and teeth. “In that case, allow me to finish the job.”

“Like we’d let you!” Lauren jumped in front of Marcus, snarling, “What sort of captain would I be if I couldn’t protect one of my agents?”

Marcus stood to her side, grinning and patting her shoulder. “Thanks, but I can protect myself just fine.”

“Yeah. Sure you can.” Katherine brandished her daggers, standing on Lauren’s other side. “So, fearless leader, what’s the plan?”

“Yeah, cephalopod, we’re all waiting for your next genius move! How are you going to stop the unstoppable?”

“Nothing’s unstoppable except us!” Lauren holstered her weapon, and punched her palm. “Okay, if this guy’s got so many teeth, then maybe he’d like a triple-slider!” She moved her hand to her belt, only to pause. “Ah-guh- guys! Why aren’t you doing anything?”

“Because we don’t know what to do…?”

“Yeah, that wasn’t an order.”

“Guh-buh- man! Come on!” Lauren clasped her hands over her face, slowly dragging her fingers down while groaning, “You guys completely ruined my one-liner! Ugh, fine. Triple reefslider! I guess.”

2-1-2: Reefslider

2-1-2: Reefslider

2-1-2: Reefslider

Three shark-shaped machines appeared under the cephalings. They rocketed forward, setting fire to the pavement in their path, and converged upon Reflectinoid in a grand explosion. They jumped out of the flames, while Reflectinoid was tossed into a building, hard enough to shatter every window on the wall. The sound of breaking glass accompanied its fall to the ground. “I don’t believe it… I actually felt that. You still don’t stand a chance, but that was more than I expected, cephaling.”

“My name is Lauren! Captain Lauren Laker of the New Squidbeak Splatoon! Remember that!”

“Fine then. I’ll carve your own name into your fetid corpse, and hang it by a noose, where all makoids can remember this! A cephaling resistance unlike any before it!”

“Then you’d better get us memorized too! Marcus Myers! Agent 4!”

“Don’t worry. We’ll make sure you don’t have time to forget! Katherine Kyanshu-Myers! Agent 8!”

Mabyn paced in front of Desti, sizing up her fellow octoling. “Oy’m guessing ya’re not too overly fond of tha’ inklin’ girl, are ya?”

“Not really. She’s annoying, all she cares about is turf war, and she’s a complete idiot. She thinks she’s got what it takes, even though her team only has three members and they’ve got nothing but Ls under their belt.”

Mabyn paused. She considered for a brief moment. “Oy ’ave no idea wha’ tha’ means.”

“It means they haven’t won a single turf war match. Hey, can I ask what’s with that accent?”

Mabyn’s face hardened. She bluntly stated, “No. Oy’ve gotta test ya ta see if ya’re worthy o’ one o’ those swords.”

“Alright! So, what’ve you got for me? Target practice?” Desti bounced from side to side on her heels.

“Nawt exactly.” Mabyn stood in a wide stance, holding out one arm with a clenched fist. Her opposite shoulder was concealed under a tentacle-hair that stretched down past her waist. “Ya’re gonna fist-fight me. One on one.”

“Really? That’s all?” Desti clasped her fists together. “Alright, then let’s do this!” She ran forward, into a jumping punch. Mabyn effortlessly bent herself backwards and sideways, pivoting on her hand to kick Desti out of the air. She tumbled onto the ground, clutching her stomach and chest, while gasping for air. “What… how did you do that? How…”

Mabyn casually wiped her hand off on her shirt. “Yer stance was all wrong. Completely off-balance. Now come on, show me yer defense!” She ran at Desti, arm outstretched and her hand splayed out like claws. Desti stood with one leg behind the other, arms blocking her torso. As soon as Mabyn was close enough, she sidestepped on the opposite side of her outstretched arm. Catching Desti off guard, Mabyn grabbed her arm, turning and throwing her to the ground, while kicking her in the small of her back.

“Oy was a soldier in the octarian army fer me entire life before oy came ta this world. Ya think ya’ve got wha’ i’ takes?”

Desti spat sand. Her fist clenched, more of the stuff trickling between her fingers. “I…” She looked up, splayed out on all fours. Her eyes burned. Her entire body shook. “I’ve got everything it takes!” She sprung up. With one arm, she swiped at Mabyn’s face. Mabyn blocked her arm with her own. Desti feinted backwards, leaning down. She swiped her opposite hand, finally catching her opponent in the face. A wave of satisfaction crashed upon her.

“Good! Keep it up!” Mabyn blocked Desti’s strikes rapid-fire. Occasionally, she spun around to block on the other side with the same arm. Occasionally, Desti broke through her defenses and struck her.

“I won’t lose to you!”

“Then prove it!” Mabyn blocked Desti’s arm, swiping it away while kicking with her opposite-side leg. Desti jumped backwards, forcing Mabyn to abruptly transition into a roundhouse kick, turning herself around. The octoling with shorter tentacle-hair pounced on the opportunity, kicking Mabyn in the back onto the ground.

“So.” Desti slammed her palm around her fist. “Have I proven it yet?”

Mabyn shook her head. Sand fell out of her mouth, as she sputtered, “Nawt quite. Ya’ll know when ya ’ave.” She leapt into the air, turning around simultaneously, and slapped Desti across the throat.

“Then let me prove it!” Desti rubbed the side of her neck. She caught Mabyn’s hand with both of her own. “I’ll prove myself to everyone!” She threw Mabyn’s arm overhead, leaving her unable to block as Desti kneed her in the gut.

Mabyn gasped, “Yer weak…”

Desti screamed, sidestepping while throwing her arms down and aside, tossing Mabyn onto her back. The octoling grunted in pain. Her longest tentacle-hair was thrown askew, exposing her other side. Desti gasped. At the abrupt end of her shoulder, there was nothing but a stump where an arm should’ve been.

Mabyn’s face contorted into an expression of pure rage. She screamed, “Ya weren’ supposed ta see tha’!” She pounced on Desti with the rage of a cornered animal. Desti backflipped, kicking Mabyn’s stomach in the process. She continued on the  offensive, making sure to focus on Mabyn’s unarmed side, while she constantly turned and struck at her.

“I’m going to win!” Desti uppercut Mabyn’s chin, sending her reeling back. She grabbed her arm, dragging her while spinning, disorienting Mabyn before tossing her aside.

Mabyn hit the ground hard a few times, her eyes filling with sand. Before she could recover, Desti jumped her, punching her multiple times with both fists. “I’m not weak! I’ll never be weak! I’m going to take that sword! I’m going to beat that Spletzer girl, and become the ultimate champion of Splatsville!” With one final punch, she knocked out Mabyn’s fangs, staining the sand violet with her ink-blood.

Desti pulled back her fist, with a horrified gasp of realization. “What? What did I do?! I’m sorry!”

Mabyn responded with dry laughter. “Don’ be sorry; tha’ was amazing! And ya won, tha’s wha’ ya’ve done!” She raised her arm to wipe clean her bloodied smile. Desti stood up, holding out her hand. Her expression was fearful, almost to the point of numbness. “I don’t know what came over me.” She let Mabyn clasp her hand, and pulled her to her feet. “I just felt nothing but anger. Like I had to lash out. I’m-”

Mabyn slapped her hand over Desti’s mouth. “None o’ tha’. There’s nothing wrong with gettin’ angry in a fight. Ya just gotta know where ta take it out. Understand?”

Desti nodded. “Yeah, I understand. Is it okay if I ask what happened to your arm?”

“No. Tha’s me own secret ta keep, an’ no one else’s. Oy never even told Innes, so why would oy tell ya?”

“Right, got it. So…” Desti leaned in with a fanged grin. “Is Innes your boyfriend?”

A blush covered Mabyn’s face. “No! Why would ya- no! C’mon, ya ickle priss, let’s get back ta the cave.”

Sam pored over the cards in front of him. “How do you guys even have tableturf cards? I thought you were desert vagabonds or something.”

Innes shrugged, “We found them out in the desert before we met Wren, and I managed to convince the others to take them with us.” He put a card down. “Mabyn’s been getting pretty good at it, but Hector just refuses to learn.”

Sam smirked. “Bad move.” He made his own counter.

“You're pretty good at this.” Innes placed one down.

“You too. But it’s way too early for you to challenge me.” Sam countered. “By the way, are you dating anyone?”

Innes sputtered, fumbling his next move. He scowled at the result. “Mind games? Really?”

“What?” Sam put down another card, casually stating, “I’m just making conversation. Kenji’s my boyfriend.”

“Really? How long?” Innes placed down a card.

“Oh, ever since high school.”

Innes nodded, considering his own counterplay. “Right, right. And how’s school going? I’m guessing you get pretty good grades.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing your timeline has a different school system from us. I graduated years ago.” He smirked as he placed a card down. “With high honors, of course.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Innes rolled his eyes as he made a play. “At least I’m not missing much here.” He sighed, “Except my parents…”

Sam tapped the rock they were using as a card table. “How come you stayed here? Did you guys just have no way back to your own world?” He moved.

Innes countered. He sighed, “No. We had a way back, but we didn’t take it. My best friend, Saffy, did a lot of unforgivable stuff. So, former best friend I guess. She realized she was in the wrong, and went into self-exile. I have no idea where she is now.”

“And your parents?”

“I hate to say this, but I barely knew them. They weren’t bad or anything, but they always had to work just to keep us alive. I’m just telling myself that, I dunno, they won’t notice I’m gone. I hope.”

“You know, I think the New Squidbeak Splatoon might have interdimensional tech. Maybe they could help you three return home?”

Innes shook his head. “I’d have to discuss it with the others. Besides, I’m not going back without Saffy. I can’t forgive her, but I also think she’s trying to change and… gah. It’s complicated.”

“I don’t get it, but it’s your life, I guess. Sorry you’ve had to deal with so much.”

“Yeah…” Innes looked between his hand and the rock-table. “No plays left. You win.”

“Cool.”

“C’mon Kenji. If you can’t even lift that rock, how are you going to lift a sword?” Hector pointed at a brown rock, which came up to Kenji’s waist.

He raised his eyebrow. “Dude, this thing looks way heavier than a sword. Could you even lift it?”

Hector waved his hand in front of his face. “Don’t get so hung up on the details. Now, show me what you’ve got!”

“Fine. Whatever.” Kenji put his arms on both sides of the rock, and attempted to move it. It didn’t budge.

“Come on, dude, are you even trying?” Hector rolled his eyes, “You’re supposed to lift with your knees, not your back!”

“I am! This is just impossible!”

“And what did you say earlier? That ‘impossible’ has stopped meaning anything? Time to put your money where your mouth is!”

“That’s not what I meant! I still can’t do this!”

“Then you can’t have that sword! You won’t stand a chance against whatever’s out there!”

“No! No, there’s gotta be some way! This can’t-”

“No! There’s no other way! This is it! If you can’t do this, everyone will die, and it’ll be all your fault!”

“Shut up!” Kenji’s eyes and hands glowed red. Hector turned around as his voice turned deep and demonic. He pressed his hands into the rock, filling it with glowing scarlet cracks until, in less than a second, it exploded into dust.

“Amazing…” Hector gasped, “So that’s what ‘impossible’ means in this world?”

Meggy gasped, “Okay… one left…” She looked ten feet away at Wren. They were both covered in ink, with respawn generators nearby.

“Come on kid! I’ve got three strikes left! You’ve gotta step up your game!” Wren twirled his charger in both hands, before firing a shot of green ink.

Meggy dodged while shooting her tri-stringer in midair. Wren shot again, and struck her before she hit the ground. At the same time, the ammunition from Meggy’s tri-stringer exploded onto him.

“I lost.” Meggy looked down despondently after respawning. Across the sand from her, Wren respawned. “I don’t know what I expected.”

“Well, at least you got one point. Maybe someday you can actually beat me.” Wren smiled genuinely at her. “Now come on, let’s go see how the others are doing.”

The eight cephalings rendezvoused at the cave. “Make sure ya use this right.” Mabyn handed a sword to Desti. Sam and Kenji each took their own in their hands.

“Guys, I’m so sorry.” Meggy looked at the wall, where the final sword lay concealed. “I couldn’t win.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Kenji tried to assure her, “I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it either.”

“I never doubted myself for a second.” Desti smirked at her rival, “And besides, you’d probably drag us down if you were using one of these things.” Sam glared at her wordlessly.

Kenji rolled his eyes. “Knock it off. We’ve gotta get back to Splatsville.”

While the group started walking, Wren called, “Hey, Meggy!” The girl turned around. “You actually did pretty well. I’m not sure what the turf war scene is like nowadays, but you might be going places someday. You’ve got the makings of a champion, kid.”

Meggy beamed. “Thanks! I promise, I’ll come back and win that sword! No matter how long it takes.” The four of them started walking again.

“Wait, why are we walking?!” Kenji realized, “We’re supposed to be in a hurry!”

Lauren, Marcus, and Katherine were thrown aside, landing on the ground with their robos in front of them. The lion growled at Reflectinoid. Dozens of makoids surrounded them. Their robos attacked the army, giving the agents time to stagger to their feet. Their bodies were covered in bruises and ink-blood. They glared at Reflectinoid.

Nearby, makoids started yelling and snarling. Four teenagers burst through, wielding three swords. “What happened?” Lauren asked, “Where’d you get those swords?”

“Long story.” Desti slowly turned her blade in a circle. It left translucent images of itself trailing through the air.

“Okay, good news, I met Oneshot Wren.” Meggy explained, “Bad news, I haven’t gotten the other sword. Yet.”

“Huh.” Marcus noted.

“Enough talk!” Reflectinoid bared its claws. “You kids really think those swords will stop me?”

“Only one way to find out!” Sam decided. The three sword-wielding cephalings all charged at the mirrored shark. Kenji and Sam slid under a swipe of its claws, while Desti blocked with her sword and hero splatana DX. She spun around, stepping back and then forward, keeping her splatana back while slicing the sword into Reflectinoid’s stomach. Sam and Kenji sliced his back horizontally, while running back in front of it. All three teenagers thrust their swords into Reflectinoid, sending it flying back.

Cracks audibly expanded across Reflectinoid’s body. “No…” The mirror shattered. The cephalings raised their arms to block their faces from the countless shards of glass. They looked up. Where Reflectinoid had stood, there was a makoid, slightly larger than the others, with blue-gray skin. “My armor! Impossible!”

“Impossible-” Before Desti could finish, Meggy rose in front of the others by shifting out of squid form. “Wh-? Spletzer!”

“You’re impossible! No, wait, I mean, you winning! That’s impossible! Yeah! Nailed it!”

Kenji facepalmed. Desti rolled her eyes and flipped Meggy off. Sam outright fell to the ground. Meggy fired plasma from her stringer, launching Reflectinoid back. “Yes!”

“Outta my way, ya little jerk!” Desti grabbed the archer by the arm, and threw her backwards onto the ground. She swung her splatana to launch a discus of plasma, knocking Reflectinoid onto the ground. It gasped and groaned, staggering with its entire body covered in burns and bruises. It barely managed to dodge additional plasma shots, until Sam and Kenji struck it simultaneously.

The robos continued to occupy the makoid army, while Lauren, Katherine, and Marcus sprinted in front of the rest of the group. “Good work, kids!” Lauren pointed at Reflectinoid, “Now let’s finish this, once and for all!”

“You can’t! For mere cephalings to conquer us, the superior species? That’s impossible!”

“The only thing that’s impossible is for us to lose!” Lauren attached her shooter to Marcus’s splatling. Katherine did the same on the other side with her dualies. The plasma collected into the splatling, firing with enough force that the trio leaned back from the recoil. The plasma soared out, heating up the air and pavement around it, until it exploded onto Reflectinoid.

When the dust cleared, nothing was left. The makoids retreated en masse, leaving the robos to return to their owners. “Yes! We did it!” Lauren celebrated, “We finally beat that thing!”

“Not yet, you haven’t.” Everyone looked back at the inkling who’d spoken. Her tentacle-hair was reddish pink, with the two longest stretching down between her waist and knees. She wore a tailored blue suit, with gold buttons, under an open longcoat that billowed as she walked, exposing its dark pink interior opposite its dark blue exterior. Her brimmed cap was the same blue as her suit, with a simplistic golden decoration on the front. In her hands was a charger the size of herself. “Each Makinoid has two lives. That was the first. When it dies-”

The ground shook. Reflectinoid rose from nowhere, and continued to rise, until it towered overhead, as tall as the skyscrapers. It released a deafening roar. Its mirrored body reflected the sun, burning the ground in front of it.

“That happens.” The stranger held out her hand, “You kids can rest now. You’ve done good work, but we can take it from here.” She turned on her communicator. “Admiral! It’s time to bring out the big guns!”

“Understood, Rorea.” The octoling flipped open a glass covering, and pressed the glowing red button. He whispered under his breath, “This is always my favorite part.”

A massive ship, longer than it was wide, rose out of the waters outside Splatsville. Larger than any ship that’d come before, it cast a shadow that blocked Reflectinoid from the sun’s light. While hovering over the city, the ship contorted. Almost instantaneously, it stood on the road. A grand metal humanoid, just as tall as Reflectinoid, with cannons mounted on its arms. Commander Rorea entered a code into her communicator that teleported her, in a flash of light, into the cockpit next to the admiral.

“Protecting the world from makoids wherever they go! NS Arctorra Liberator Mode!”

“Come at me, you oversized cruise ship!” Reflectinoid took a few steps, each of which caused a tremor, and swiped its claws at the robot. They clashed in sparks, barely scratching the mecha, whereas the claws were reduced to half their length. “Wh-what?!” Reflectinoid started walking backwards. “We-well, it doesn’t matter! You still can’t get past my defenses!”

“Wanna bet?” Rorea smirked. The Arctorra raised its arm, and launched dozens of cannons rapid-fire into the monster’s stomach. It stumbled backwards, screaming, “No! No, it can’t end this way!”

“It can, and it will, you psychotic selachian! So says Admiral Remora of the NS Arctorra!” The mecha stepped forward once and threw a punch into Reflectinoid’s face, sending it falling backwards onto the street.

“Watch it!” Marcus frantically activated his belt.

9-9-9: Lion Robo

The lion robo pounced into the air, growing into mech size to throw Reflectinoid back up. Marcus teleported into the cockpit, where he turned on the external speakers. “What’re you trying to do, guys? Wreck the city?”

“Oh. Sorry about that.” The admiral admitted. The swordfish mecha flew directly above the lion, with the falcon perching on the Arctorra’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Rorea protested, “Who said you could dock there?!”

“Captain Lauren Laker of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, at your service!”

“A captain, eh?” Remora mused, “Wouldn’t that make me your superior, then?”

“We can talk about that later.” Lauren decided, “Right now, let’s take this guy down!”

“Sounds good to me!” Rorea grinned. The falcon soared through the air, slicing its wings through Reflectinoid’s side and screeching. It turned around behind it and next to the swordfish, which fired a bolt of electricity from its protrusion.

Reflectinoid turned around, several times, at the mechas on either side of it. “No! How can I-? There’s no way out!”

“About time you realized there’s no winning!” Rorea yelled. The Arctorra raised its arms, and fired a twofold salvo of cannons.

Reflectinoid screamed, “I thought my victory was clear!” It was reduced to a massive fireball. The Arctorra lowered its canons.

“That was a battle hardly worth reflecting on.” The admiral cracked his knuckles. “More importantly, there is clearly much we need to discuss.”

Chapter Text

The cephalings met under the artificial skies of Alterna. “So.” Lauren sat on her boxes. “Who are you, and what’s going on?”

The octoling, twice the inkling’s height, answered, “Young captain, we're admiral Remora…” He gestured to himself, then to his cohort, “...and commander Rorea of the NS Arctorra. We've traveled the seas for decades, pursuing the makoids to ensure minimal casualties when they invade.”

“And I’m guessing that reflection guy we just blew up wasn’t their leader?” Marcus surmised.

“Hardly.” Rorea scoffed, “That was just a makinoid. They’re an artificial life form created for the sole purpose of being field commanders, and destroying whatever they find. Each one is unique, meaning that the method to annihilating them is never the same thing twice.”

“So, how soon can we expect another attack?” Katherine asked, “And what about that giant robot of yours? Built it yourselves?”

“I’ll admit, this is unprecedented.” Remora explained, “Most settlements the makoids attack only have us to defend them, and the best they can hope for is to be evacuated aboard the NS Arctorra. This is the first time we’ve had proper allies. As for our mecha, that’s an alternate form of our vessel. Nobody knows where it came from, but the prevailing theory is that it was built by the last humans.”

“Here’s my question.” Rorea pointed at Lauren, “How is a child a captain?”

Lauren raised her eyebrow. “First, I’m 18. Second, I was personally selected by the previous captain, Craig Cuttlefish.”

“I see.” Rorea tapped her own shoulder. “And where is he?”

A flat, dried squid hovered from behind the structure. “Right here, young woman. I can assure you, captain Laker is absolutely capable of leading this group. I selected her myself last December, and she has yet to disappoint me.”

“Wow.” Rorea remarked, “I can see why you had to retire.”

“Oh, this, ah…” Craig laughed, once, “This is unrelated. We should be able to fix it eventually.” He muttered, “Hopefully.”

“You must be a formidable warrior to have been promoted to such a rank at your age.” Remora narrowed his eyes at both of them, “Although, as an admiral, that still makes me your superior.”

Craig floated in front of his successor’s face. “Perhaps, but you’re from a separate organization. Why should we follow your hierarchy?”

Lauren lightly pushed him away. “Also, if you’re a commander…” She pointed at Rorea, “...then you’d have to follow my orders. Would you be okay with that?”

“No.” Rorea admitted, “But I’d be willing to do anything to stop the makoids.”

Lauren walked over to the commander and the admiral. “In that case, we have the same goal. We should work together, as equals, to protect this city.”

Rorea gave a fanged grin. “Fine by me! But there’s still something you need to know.” Her face changed in the span of a second. She practically glared down at Lauren. “No matter how much you think you’ve suffered, or what you’ve been through, this position will put you through more hardship than you’ve ever experienced. Especially now that you’ve made an enemy of the makoids.”

Lauren stepped back. It took everything not to squeak. The admiral placed a hand on his junior’s shoulder. “I believe we’ve come to an agreement. I look forward to our alliance.”

“Agreed.” Craig acknowledged. Lauren nodded in turn. The Admiral and commander departed. Lauren nervously walked back to her chair.

“Question.” Desti interjected, “Why am I here? I’m not part of your group.”

“You are now.” Marcus pointed at her new weapon, “With that sword, you’re an auxiliary agent.”

“Fine.” Desti looked around before throwing her sword behind herself, letting it stab itself in the ground. Her eyes widened. “Wow. I can’t believe that- I mean, I knew it would do that! Yeah!”

There were a few seconds of silence.

Desti sprinted out. Meggy watched her leave, before her eyes were drawn to the sword in the ground. “Welp. Back to my sulking.”

Nearby, Katherine sat next to Lauren. “Hey, sweetheart, you okay?” She took one of Lauren’s longer tentacle-hairs between her fingers, and started twirling it.

Lauren gave a quiet hum of contentment. She reached over to squeeze Katherine’s upper arm. “I’m fine. Just worried about what Rorea said. Do you think the makoids are really that dangerous?”

“Possibly.” Katherine reluctantly admitted, “If what they’ve said is true, then they’ve already destroyed multiple cities. Plus, one of their field commanders was as strong as that thing...” She pulled Lauren’s head onto her shoulder. “Except those cities didn’t have us. If anything, it’s them who should be scared.”

“I hate to break it to you, but that’s what I’m worried about.” Lauren stood up. While pacing, she elaborated, “The way they were talking, it sounded like they’ve been the only ones actively fighting the makoids up to this point.”

“Oh, I get it.” Sam realized, “You’re worried that because you showed off your mechas, the makoids are going to start escalating. Right?”

“Exactly.” Lauren grimly confirmed, “Thing is, we have no idea what they’re capable of. For all we know, they could have some last-resort superweapon capable of wiping the entire splatlands off the map. Sheldon, how soon until we can hack the other two bird mechs to our side?”

“It should be a week, captain Laker.” Sheldon assured, “Especially since it’s really just the same process as the other mechas, except these are already pre-built for us.”

“What about the signal block?” Katherine took her phone out. “Cause I sent my mom a text before this started, and I don’t want her to worry.”

“I’m not sure.” Sheldon admitted, “I don’t know where they’re sending the counter-signal from, and I’m already going to be busy…”

“Maybe I could help with the mechs.” Sam suggested, “I’ve got a thing for tech, so maybe I could help you reprogram them. It’d give you more time to look for the counter-signal.”

“Sure. But just so you know, this is much more complicated than anything they teach in high school.”

Sam rushed over to the desk. “Are you challenging me?”

Malecia watched the monitor. She tapped the desk. “It seems there’s a new player in this game. Viktor! Do we have any way of countering these makoids?”

“Not yet, but I’m working on it.” He held up blueprints. “We’ve already tried striking the inklings from the sky. Now, it’s time to strike the makoids in the sea.”

“Excellent!” Malecia shot up to take the blueprints. “How long do you think it’ll take to build them?”

Viktor took the schematics back. “It should be a week. In the meantime, we should get the next OctoBeast ready for deployment. That way, we can destroy both our enemies with a single strike.”

A week passed uneventfully. All three factions stayed back, preparing for their individual next moves against the other two. In the middle of Splatsville, a relatively large and open building was converted into a convention hall. The doors were left closed and guarded in the cold early December air. The security was relatively tight in response to the recent attacks.

After getting through security, the splatsquad entered the building in the middle of the day. “I can’t believe they opened the convention this time of year.” Sam took off his coat to hang it on a rack, next to the others’.

“Yeah.” Kenji adjusted his shirt. “It’s probably because of something about the local economy, and everything that’s been happening recently. Either way, wack planning.”

"Who cares?" Meggy cheerfully adjusted her headgear. "This is awesome! There's so much turf war stuff here!" She spun around a few times while walking, trying to see everything, until she fell over herself. "I meant to do that."

"Sure you did." Kenji snarked as he helped her up. He turned to the other inkling, "Hey, Sammy, you wanna see if they've got any FruiTwo Piece stuff?"

"Yeah." Sam looked up. At one of the signs, he pointed and gasped, "Oh, guys, look! They're having a Nova Explorers panel!"

"Oh." Meggy noted, "That's that space thing you like, right?"

"And yet, you haven't mentioned it once yet. Curious."

"Sam, what are you talking about? I showed you the 5th anniversary movie last night."

"I thought it was a manga…?" Meggy questioned.

"No, see, there's a manga, an anime series, and a video game series. Plus that anniversary movie from last year."

"Huh. Well, you nerds have fun."

"You too, nerd." Sam mocked her good-naturedly. Meggy laughed, high-fived her friends, and split up from them.

Meggy walked through the convention, until she found a longbox with bright splotches of multicolored ink drawn on the sides. “Oh!” She rushed to lean over the longbox. She looked up at the oblong jellyfish in charge of the stand.

“See something you like?” The jellyfish’s translucent, gelatinous head wobbled as he talked.

Meggy nodded eagerly. “Yeah. This is that manga about turf war in the far future, right?”

“Sure is!” The jellyfish didn’t have a mouth, but still looked as though he were smiling. “The new issue just came in.”

“Cool!” Meggy squealed, “How much?” she frantically took her wallet out of her pocket.

Marcus walked through Splatsville. The area was relatively deserted because of the convention. He smiled, breathing the cold midday air. Looking down at the snow under his boots, he stuffed his gloved hands into the pockets of his jacket. By the time he entered the turf war lobby, he was feeling the cold despite his covering. He muttered, taking his gloves off to rub his hands together, “Didn’t think it’d be this freezing outside.”

“I know, right?” Someone responded. Marcus turned around, breathing onto his palms. James was stretching his arms, wearing a sweatshirt and baggy pants. “Hey, you’re that agent, right?” He ran over, taking his hand and frantically shaking it. “Thanks again for last week!”

“Oh, yeah, you’re welcome.” Marcus took his coat off, placing his winter clothing near the other boy’s. “I was just doing my job. Besides, it was the right thing.”

“Yeah, I know, but thanks. You saved my life, and you’re really nice-” He blushed, and stammered, “I- I mean, from what I’ve seen, anyway. I know we’ve never really talked much and- well- gah-bluh- can’t talk- why can’t I talk?”

Marcus smiled. “It’s fine.” He gestured to himself, “I can’t blame you for getting flustered. So, what brings you here?”

“Thought I’d get some practice in. You?”

“Same. So, if we’re both here for practice, then whaddaya say?” Marcus grinned, unfolding his splatling to hold with both hands. “Up for a little 1-on-1?”

“With you? I- I mean, with an agent?” James clasped his palms to his cheeks in a failed attempt to hide his blushing. “Sure! I’d love- I mean, like that!”

Outside of Splatsville, a titanic mechanical goblin shark and an enormous robotic man-o-war swam through the ocean. “We’d better find them soon.” Malecia grumbled from the goblin shark’s cockpit, “The cold’s starting to get inside.”

“Agreed.” Viktor steered the man-o-war to look around, lights shining in the pitch-black depths. “Turn your lights off.” They turned their lights off, plunging them into a brief absolution of darkness. A submarine appeared nearby, shining two stationary lights through the water. Viktor and Malecia maneuvered out of the lights’ vicinity.

The submarine’s true size couldn’t be discerned in the darkness, but it was clearly more than 20 feet long and 10 feet wide at the bare minimum. On its front was painted the snarling face of a shark.

In the convention hall dining room, Meggy read her newly-purchased manga while eating. She heard a voice behind her, “Wow. I knew you had bad taste, but you’re reading that?”

Meggy rolled her eyes, standing up to face Desti. She crossed her arms and huffed, “Why are you here? This place is supposed to be fun.”

“I'm fun. But seriously, that series went so far downhill after the 7th issue.”

Meggy cocked her head aside. “No…? It got better.”

“You idiot!” Desti took the manga out of her hands, bonked her on the head, and shoved it back in her hands. “They introduced way too many new characters all at once, and the worldbuilding got too convoluted for its own good.”

“You’re the idiot, idiot!” Meggy slapped her manga across Desti’s stomach. “At least the new characters have personalities, and the lore isn’t that confusing if you pay attention. Not that you’d know anything about that, you nostalgia-blind brain rot.”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.” Desti spat, “You just like it because it’s new.”

“Well, what’s wrong with that?”

“Hey, kids!” A middle-aged octoling glowered at them without standing up. “How about, instead of disrupting our lunch, you go to that foam swordfighting thing down the hall?”

“Wait.” Meggy pointed at him, “You mean we can knock the squit out of each other? Awesome! Let’s go!”

“Hell yeah!” Desti ran after Meggy, both of them pumping their fists into the air.

Meggy and Desti walked towards each other on a thin styrofoam bridge over a pool of foam blocks. They each held two batons with red foam cylinders on both ends.

"Are you approaching me?"

"I wouldn't have to if you weren't so slow." Meggy spread her arms out to her sides.

Desti growled, "Then let's speed things up!" She lunged forward, swinging her batons. Meggy leaned back to block. She pushed Desti away, forcing her to balance.

"You think I'm scared of you?! I use a splatana! These are my weapons!"

"They're nothing alike!" Meggy argued, "These are way lighter, and the ends are a different shape!"

"What would you know? You're always using that tri-stringer! Why? Too scared to get into a fight close-up?"

Meggy screamed, spinning on one foot to throw Desti back. Desti smirked. “Yeah! Keep getting angry!”

Something burst from below the foam blocks. It ripped the beam in half, causing Desti to fall in, screaming.

“Desti!” Meggy dove in. The blocks slowed her down, digging into her from all sides. “Where are you?!” Something struck her, launching her onto the solid floor. She panicked as she looked over the foam blocks. “Des-” At the edge of the pit, just below Meggy, Desti was rubbing her head. Her eyes were squeezed shut in pain. Meggy leaned down, reaching out. “Come on, get outta there!”

Desti reluctantly took Meggy’s hand, allowing the inkling to pull her onto solid ground. “I hate you, but thanks.”

“I hate you too, but you’re welcome. Watch out!” Meggy grabbed her rival by the shoulders, dragging her while jumping back. Something jumped onto the floor. It resembled an unnaturally large octoling, with writhing red tentacle-hairs as long as an average cephaling’s forearm, carrying a scepter with a silver orb atop it. “Oh great, another one!” Meggy turned on her communicator. “Sheldon! It’s stringer time!”

Marcus supported James as they walked across the lobby, until helping him sit down near a wall. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” James waved him off. “Man, that was fun. You’re good.”

“Thanks. You want something from the Crab-N-Go? I’m good for it.” Marcus pointed at the small restaurant in the wall.

“Sure. Can I get a crab trap sandwich? Any drink is fine.”

“You got it.” Marcus walked up to the snack bar, where he placed his order. A minute later, he walked over to sit next to James. He tapped the other boy on the shoulder. “It'll be ready in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good. You?” James gave a pained smile while clutching his chest.

“Pescatariat.” Marcus looked at him, concerned. “Hey, is your binder getting tight?”

“Yeah. We actually have 5 members on our team, because of how often this happens.” He scowled down at himself. “I’m thinking maybe I should get a new one.”

Marcus shrugged, “Yeah, I wouldn’t know anything about that.” A few feet away, a bell rang from the counter.

“Marcus Myers! Your order’s ready!”

“Oh, be right back.” Marcus ran up to the stand. “Thanks, ma’am.” He took the tray by the edges.

“No problem, young man.” The goldfish woman smiled at him.

Marcus returned to sitting next to James. He placed the tray on the floor in front of them. “Thanks.” James took a bite of the sandwich. “Y’know, you could probably get a discount if you wanted. You have saved the world.”

“Maybe.” Marcus took a sip from his small, clear bag of juice with a straw in it. “But getting free food isn’t why I joined the New Squidbeak Splatoon in the first place. Besides, this place isn’t nearly as good as the Crust Bucket.”

“What’s that?” James wiped a napkin across his face.

“It was a food truck run by a guy named Crusty Sean back in Inkopolis. It got destroyed last year in one of our fights, so he bought a full-on restaurant called the Cardamari Cafe. I worked there with some friends of mine before we moved here. Nowadays, I think Sean’s just wandering the world.”

“Oh, yeah, I think I’ve seen some of his posts on seastagram.” James stared at Marcus for a few seconds before he realized his mistake, and hurriedly turned his head away.

Marcus squinted at him. “Do you have a crush on me?”

James’s eyes widened, and he slapped his hands to his cheeks while he blushed green. “What? No!”

Marcus held back a small laugh. “Dude, it’s fine. Honestly, I’m kind of open to the idea. Or, at least, I’m not opposed to it.”

“Really? Then, would that…” James hesitated, “Would that make this a date?”

“I dunno. Not much of a date, is it?” Marcus gestured around the lobby.

James shrugged, “I dunno. This is kinda nice.” He looked to the side, at the Crab-N-Go. “Marigold’s been hearing this entire conversation, hasn’t she?” Marcus nodded.

“Sorry, young man!” Marigold called back, “I can’t exactly wear headphones if I’m on the clock!”

“Right.” Marcus stood up, taking James by the arm. “Maybe we should go somewhere else. Nothing personal, Marigold!”

James waved at the food stand, “Yeah, have a nice day!”

“You too, kids!”

The wall exploded, just above the doors leading outside. “Watch out!” Marcus dove to push James away from the falling debris. Marigold screamed, “Not again!”

A makoid, twice the size of the inklings, stood upright. It glared at Marcus, fangs glistening and eyes black as voids. Marcus stood directly in front of James. He barely opened his mouth, hissing, “Run.”

The makinoid laughed, “What’re you whispering about, little cephaling? Trying to protect your friend?” It held out its hand, with five curved, serrated claws.A sphere of colorless energy shot out at the inklings. They dodged in two separate directions, leaving the sphere to fly between them. It crashed into a block of wood at the other side of the lobby. It warped, as though being viewed from the other side of a wall of water, until an exact copy split off from it.

“What are you?” Marcus stepped in front of James.

“The name’s Duplinoid! With my orbs, I can-”

“-create copies of anything they hit, right? Thanks for the demonstration.” Marcus turned on his communicator.

“Yes, but if I duplicate a living thing, the copy will be a loyal ally to the makoids!” Duplinoid launched an orb into the Crab-N-Go, yelling, “Allow me to demonstrate!”

Marigold screamed at getting struck by the orb. An exact copy split off from her, and subsequently punched her in the face. “Long live lord Sharpfin!” She jumped out of the snack bar and sprinted outside, chanting all the while, “Glory to the makoids! Glory to the makoids!”

“You see, little agent? I’m going to copy everyone in this city, and increase our numbers like never before!”

“We should dock now.” Viktor placed the man-o-war’s tentacles on the sides of the makoid ship.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Malecia bore the goblin shark’s protrusion through the hull. Water slowly flowed into it. Above her, the man-o-war’s tentacles stabbed through the hull.

Viktor and Malecia walked into the ship, octoshots at the ready. Inside, they found nothing more than a few basic makoids. “What is this?” Viktor looked around what appeared to be the central chamber. It took up most of the interior. At the center was a thin pillar of metal, with a device atop it that resembled a curved, open-mouthed shark. A low hum emanated from it, causing the floor to vibrate slightly. “You would think such a large ship would be more heavily guarded.”

“Perhaps…” Malecia considered, “Perhaps this is one of the makoids’ smaller ships. It might be of low priority for them.”

Viktor’s mouth opened involuntarily. “You saw how big this was on the outside! We couldn’t even see the whole thing! If this is one of their smallest ships, barely even worth guarding…”

Malecia nodded grimly. “Then they’re far more dangerous than we gave them credit for.”

On the thin walkway above them, a door opened, and a makoid burst out. It was brown, with a long mouth that had teeth sticking out like sawblades. On its back, sticking out above its head, was a red rectangular flag with a yellow design vaguely resembling a sun. It wore black armor on its front torso and above its elbows, and in both fins it carried a sword, twice its own length, made of a blue pseudo-ink.

The elite makoid jumped down, swinging its sword at the octolings to knock them aside before they could react. They stood up, covered in the burning substance. Despite wincing in pain, they were able to fire plasma from their octoshots. The elite makoid failed to dodge before the dozen rapid-fire bursts caused it to explode. The machine collapsed in the blast radius.

Viktor and Malecia watched as the metal rod snapped in half, and the shark figure shattered. Instantly, the low humming stopped. "Come on." Viktor took his wife's hand, "We've seen all this ship has to offer. Besides, we clearly need to rethink our strategy."

Marcus dragged James as they jumped outside. "Run, now!"

"Got it!" James sprinted off, leaving Marcus to face Duplinoid on his own.

Marcus activated his communicator. "Sheldon, I need my belt and splatling!" He pivoted on one foot, flipping into an elaborate spin to dodge a shot. He watched behind him as an inkling was assaulted by himself. "And tell Lauren and Katherine I need backup at the tower."

"Affirmative, agent 4."

"Thanks, man." Marcus sidestepped another blast, resulting in an octoling being split in two.

"Why do you keep dodging? Just accept it already!" Duplinoid fired again.

"No thanks! One of me is plenty!" Marcus ran forward, jumping above the shot at the last second. In midair, the belt and splatling appeared in his outstretched hands. He fired a blast of plasma, throwing the makinoid aside while he landed on the ground.

"You think that'll save you? You're still just a cephaling!" Duplinoid fired another burst of light.

"And that's exactly why…" Marcus spun around to dodge the blast, wrapping the magnetic belt around his waist, and shooting the makinoid's attack out of the air, all in a single motion. "...you don't stand a chance!" He shot at Duplinoid. The selachian jumped over, using the explosion to propel itself forward. It stuck Marcus with its claws, sending him flying.

“Gah…” Marcus stood up, gripping his stomach. His forearm came away slick and green with ink-blood. “Not again.” A blast of unnatural light struck him, sending him falling to the ground. Everything around him spun, becoming an incomprehensible blur. It ceased just as abruptly, and Marcus was left with an exact copy of himself standing over him. It was indistinguishable from the original, save for being unwounded and affixing him with a murderous glare.

“Enemy of makoids!” Marcus scrambled to his feet as the duplicate kicked at him. His wounds caused him to double over in agony, coughing up a significant amount of ink-blood. The double grabbed him by the throat, and started to squeeze. “You’re an obstacle to our conquest. Therefore, I’ll be happy to ensure your painful death.”

Katherine and Lauren teleported in front of the tower. “There’s the makinoid.” Lauren squinted with her weapon drawn, “And is that… two Marcuses? Marki?”

“Yeah, and we can worry about my brother’s plural name later.” Katherine slid down the metal railing, shooting plasma with both hands.

“Shooting me in the back? Cowardly cephaling!” Duplinoid turned around while tossing an orb of light. She jumped over it, allowing the orb to create a copy of the railing. While it clanged and fell down the stairs, Kat holstered a dualie to release the swordfish robo. She yelled, “Then I’ll face you head on!” The swordfish flew into her hand, allowing her to slice downwards straight through the makinoid. She flipped to the side, leaving an opening for Lauren to shoot it.

“Ka- I mean, agent 8, go see what’s up with agent 4 and agent 4.” Lauren released her falcon robo. “I’ll deal with him.”

“Yes, sir.” Katherine sprinted down the street.

“I could use some help here!” The copy of Marcus called back, still strangling the original as he tried to sputter out a protest.

“Got it!” Katherine swapped out her dualies for daggers, “Just give me an opening!” The artificial inkling sidestepped and released Marcus, allowing Katherine to swing her dagger at his face. He screamed, ducking as the glint of the metal filled his eyes. It sliced through his slick-backed tentacle-hair, leaving it partially shortened.

“Kat, wait!” He yelled, “Katherine, please, it’s me!”

“Don’t listen to him!” The duplicate yelled.

“Clever. But not enough!” Katherine started shooting, forcing Marcus to frantically activate the belt.

9-0-9: Ink Armor

The armor coated Marcus’s body in time to protect him from the plasma, with the added benefit of slightly healing his wounds. He muttered, "Thanks for the upgrade, Sheldon." After the armor wore off, Marcus sprinted away from Katherine.

Lauren dodged a shot from Duplinoid, maneuvering into a side-flip to kick it in the face. It grabbed her leg to throw her aside.

Marcus held out his arms to catch Lauren from behind. "No! Let go of me!"

"Lauren!" He pinned her arm to her sides, and the other to her back, so that she'd be in too much pain to shapeshift. "Lauren, I'm sorry, but you need to listen!" He leaned in to whisper into her ear, "When you were 8, you got hit by a car.

Lauren immediately stopped struggling. Marcus released her arm from her back. She yelled over, "Hey, Mark! What happened to me when I was 8?!"

The fake stopped, standing next to Katherine. "What? What are you talking about?"

Katherine looked between the entity, and her companions. Her face contorted in horrified rage. "You're the fake!" She plunged her daggers into its chest. "I almost cut my brother's eyes out because of you!" She ripped the daggers out. The fake inkling collapsed to the ground, dissolving into blue pseudo-ink. Katherine wheeled around, aiming her dualies at Duplinoid. "I'm going to kill you for that."

"Who’s this guy?" Kenji pointed at the OctoBeast, running over with Sam.

The artificial octarian laughed over the sound of screaming civilians, "The name’s OctoReality! How about I give you a demonstration of my power?" It swung its scepter, firing a red amorphous light at a longbox. The table exploded, and dozens of entities poured out of it. Some were cephalings, while others were less nameable things.

"Okay. We can't let this guy anywhere near the horror... Anything." Meggy decided.

"Yeah, or sci-fi. The last thing we need is for the octarians to get access to technology without the limitations of reality." Sam added.

"Wait, you mean they didn't already?" Kenji pointed out.

"You guys are boring!" Desti called into her communicator, "Sheldon! I need my splatana, right now!"

"Got it!" Sheldon hung up, and warped Desti’s weapon into her hands. She fired a scythe of plasma that OctoReality swatted away with a swing of its staff. The group ducked under the red light fired by the swing, leaving it to strike an inkling cosplaying as a super hero from the late 60's. He convulsed, and started screaming, "death to all enemies of Ultra Squid!"

"Oh." Kenji remarked, "I was wondering what'd happen to someone wearing a costume."

"You would." Meggy rolled her eyes.

Sam shot up to turn on his communicator. Before he could, the roller and charger appeared in his and Kenji's respective hands. "Wow. He must be really tired of us calling him all the time."

"You kids really think you can stop me? You're barely more than infants! Just who do you think you are to defy the octarians?!"

Duplinoid waited until the trio was jumping straight at it before tossing three orbs of light straight at them. They were knocked onto the hard pavement, with their duplicates standing over them.

"It's funny you think that'll work again." Lauren pointed at the doubles. The falcon screeched and flew past her, forcing the three to scatter. They opened their belts, releasing their own robots to counter the originals.

"Well, ya gotta give him one thing." Kat shrugged, "at least he's thorough."

"So, you finally recognize my power, cephalings? Who would dare stand against the invincible makoid empire?!"

"We'll tell you! Captain Lauren Laker of the New Squidbeak Splatoon!

"Fiery wielder of the tri-stringer! Meggy Spletzer!

"Agent 4! Marcus Myers!"

"Intelligent wielder of the charger! Sam Sheridan!"

"Agent 8! Katherine Kyanshu-Myers!"

"Aggressive roller user! Kenji Kisaragi!"

"Never stopping until the world is safe! New Squidbeak Splatoon!"

"Why am I even doing this?! Desti Daiki!"

The four teenagers ran at OctoReality, just before it dove out of the way. It dodged a triple-shot from Meggy’s stringer, straight into another burst of plasma from Sam's charger. The blast caught it in the hand, causing its scepter to go flying.

"No! I need that!" It launched its tentacle-hairs, extending them unnaturally long. Kenji and Desti jumped at it.

Kenji yelled, "You're open!" The two cephalings slammed their weapons into OctoReality just as it turned around, throwing it aside. It scrambled to grab its scepter off the ground.

"Why would you announce we're going to attack it from behind?" Desti slapped Kenji, "That defeats the purpose of attacking it from behind!"

"What, you mean we can't win a fight without cheating?"

"Hey, cheating is a legitimate strategy."

"Yeah, and so is combining our weapons!" Sam decided, holding out his roller.

The agents fired plasma into their individual doppelgangers, throwing them to the ground so they could focus on Duplinoid. The makinoid dodged and weaved, until it was close enough to Katherine that it could try to claw her face. She held up a dagger to block it with one hand, and sliced its chest with the other. She swapped one dagger out for a dualie to fire plasma at it, while using the hilt on the other to activate her belt.

0-6-9: Tenta Missiles

While Katherine launched a salvo of missiles, Marcus activated his own belt. He yelled, "Guys, cover my back!"

0-2-0: Stingray

"Got it!" Lauren fired an explosion of energy at her double, before it could shoot Marcus from behind.

Marcus fired an enormous, concentrated beam of plasma straight into Duplinoid, leaving it vulnerable to Katherine’s missiles. The doubles screamed in rage, until they were reduced to puddles on the ground.

Kenji, Sam, and Desti attached their weapons to the side of Meggy’s stringer, and fired a single massive sphere of plasma at OctoReality.

"No!" It held out its scepter to block the strike. "I… won't…" It dug its heels into the ground, "...let…you…!"

"Let's try another one!" Meggy decided, "There's no way he can handle two!"

Desti rolled her eyes, "I hate it when you're right. Good thing it rarely ever happens." The four launched an identical burst of plasma. It combined with the previous one, and finished OctoReality off in a massive, glorious explosion. The entities it'd created were reduced to dust.

An octoling, loyal enough to not wear hypnoshades, watched the monitor, as OctoReality exploded. "Whu-what-?! Oh, right!" She frantically grabbed the microphone. "Make Viktor and Malecia's monster grow!"

In the middle of Splatsville, both OctoReality and Duplinoid ascended to a massive size. Katherine pointed, yelling, "There was another one the whole time?!"

"The newbies must've handled it already if it had to grow." Lauren smiled. "Good for them. Alright, guys, let's-" She was interrupted by her communicator beeping.

"This had better be important, Sheldon."

"I assure you it is, sir! The eagle and hawk robos are ready, and they’re compatible with the Falcon. Also, I’m getting an unknown signal from underwater.” He told her the coordinates.

“Got it. I’ll tell the others. Just send the new robos, and thanks, Sheldon.”

“Don’t mention it.” Sheldon explained the mechanism for the new combination, and hung up. In twin flashes of light, two mechas appeared in midair. Nearby, the NS Arctorra Liberator Mode appeared. “Okay guys.” Lauren decided, “I’ll fight in the new combo-mech. Kat, you need to investigate something off the coast with the swordfish. Marcus, back us up with the lion.”

“Got it!”

9-9-9: Swordfish Robo

“Understood.”

9-9-9: Lion Robo

9-9-9: Falcon Robo

9-9-9: Hawk Robo

9-9-9: Eagle Robo

1-0-0-0: Sky GATTAIS combine

The three avian mechas combined into a bright yellow humanoid, with enormous wings on its back and talons on its feet. Lauren cheered from inside the cockpit, “Soaring past the clouds above! New Squidbeak SkyMech!”

Katherine sat in the swordfish’s cockpit, driving it through the water until she found two enormous robots. “What the- oh no.” Before she could retreat, the man-o-war’s tentacles and the goblin shark’s protrusion stabbed through the hull. They opened, allowing Viktor and Malecia to jump inside.

“Katherine.” Viktor smiled venomously, “So good to see you again.”

The SkyMech soared through the air, shooting a dozen feathers into both monsters. The arctorra threw a punch at OctoReality, causing it to stagger back.

Marcus jumped out of the lion mecha’s cockpit, activating his belt.

5-0-5: Zipcaster

Marcus used the zipcaster to scale the Arctorra, the wind slapping his face, until he perched on its shoulder. He shrunk his lion down so that it stood on the palm of his hand. “Alright, buddy. This is going to be really impressive if we pull it off, and completely fatal if we don’t. You ready?” The lion roared. “I’ll take that as a yes!” Marcus tossed the lion robo at OctoReality, and jumped after it.

9-9-9: Lion Robo

The lion returned to its mecha size in midair, with Marcus holding onto its mane just as the zipcaster wore off. It reached full size in midair, letting out a deafening roar and clawing the OctoBeast. “No! This can’t be reality!” It collapsed to its knees, and subsequently exploded.

“Neither were your chances!” Marcus pointed at where it’d stood.

Nearby, Lauren touched down behind Duplinoid, turning the SkyMech around to slice its wing through the monster. “Enough attacking from behind!” She decided, ascending through the air in front of Duplinoid. “Now for the final strike! Electric diving kick!” The mecha shot downwards, its talons opened and wreathed with lightning. It struck the makinoid, covering it in electricity before standing on the ground.

Duplinoid yelled, “No! This can’t be! I’m seeing double!” It exploded from the electricity.

“Double?” Lauren punched her fists together, “You never stood half a chance!”

“Hey, good work, Lauren!” Rorea called over, “Nice mecha, too!”

“Thanks! It just came in!” Lauren smiled. Her communicator started beeping. “Huh? Shel-”

“Lauren, you need to come in right now! It’s Katherine!”

“What?!”

Lauren and Marcus teleported into the base, where Katherine had collapsed onto her hands and knees. She was dripping purple ink-blood, and breathing heavily. “Katie!” Lauren and Marcus ran over to the octoling. “Katie, what happened?!”

Katherine gasped, “They have the swordfish.” She collapsed, unconscious, into her girlfriend’s arms.

Chapter Text

Deep undersea was a ship almost the size of the NS Arctorra. Inside, a makoid sat on a throne made of a solid blue material that shimmered, creating an illusion resembling ocean waves. He was flanked by two elites, and dwarfed both of them. His throne had two spears holstered on either side, rising above the back. A makoid burst into the throne room, running across the shimmering blue carpet.

“To what do I owe this interruption?” The throned makoid tapped his bony fingers on the armrests. His deep voice dripped with annoyance. His guards raised their rifles.

“My apologies, lord Sharpfin. I just thought you should know, the ship carrying the counter-signal has been destroyed.”

Sharpfin laughed, “Oh, that? That's of no concern. Guards, as you were. Amusing me is no cause for an execution.” He calmly explained, “That counter-signal was merely a way to make the invasion easier. If it’s been destroyed, then so be it. They still don't stand a chance.”

Meggy walked through the splatlands, petting her smallfry. “Whaddaya think, Little Buddy? I've got a good feeling! Today's the day we find our fourth member!” She looked around to get a bearing on her location. “Okay… over there's the upside-down tower. I think this is the furthest we've ever gone from home.” She smiled, placing Little Buddy in her open backpack and breaking into a sprint.

After some hours, Meggy came across a wide-open cavern. The exterior of the cave sloped down at the back, while the interior continued further into darkness. Meggy squinted into the depths. “Okay. There’s definitely something down there.” Just as she started walking, Little Buddy pulled away from her on the interior of her backpack. She took him out to cup him in her hands. “Come on, bud. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Meggy walked through the cave. Her footsteps echoed on the stone. She coughed from the dust, and nervously stroked her pet’s hair. “Okay. I’m getting a weird feeling about this.” She looked around, only able to see by her orange bioluminescence, and forced a smile. “But that means there’s gotta be something here! Maybe one of those magic artifacts Kenji was talking about…?”

After some time, Meggy’s bioluminescence gave way to artificial light. Meggy glowered, slowly stroking her smallfry’s mohawk. She whispered, “Yeah. Definitely something here.” Another set of footsteps echoed nearby. Meggy turned into a squid, and dug herself into an alcove in the wall. An octoling walked past, wearing hypnoshades. Hesitantly, the inkling jumped out of the alcove, resuming her humanoid form. She leaned past a corner of the wall, and barely managed to stifle a gasp.

The area was a massive chamber, filled with hallways of machinery. Dozens of octolings marched through the labyrinth. Some wore hypnoshades, others had their eyes exposed, and all carried a variety of devices. Meggy waited, before jumping and scrambling atop a metal pipe. She crawled on top of the gray metal structure, watching the octolings below.

Viktor and Malecia operated a control panel at the back of the underground lab. “So. How long until the elephant and jaguar are ready?”

Malecia flipped a lever. “It shouldn’t be long. Especially now that the sea mechas are ready to combine.”

Viktor pressed a button. “I can’t believe the inklings of all things managed to figure out how to combine the mechas, even with our blueprints to work off of. No matter.”

Malecia scowled at the control panel. “What should we prioritize, though? The inklings or the makoids?”

“We can take our mechas back, and then we won’t have to decide.” Viktor grinned, “We’ll be able to annihilate all who oppose us and take the world for our own.” He heard a quiet gasp. “Wait.” He abruptly turned around, and saw a flash of orange disappear behind a metal pipe. “You.” He pointed at an octoling soldier, then in the direction of the sound, “Investigate that. Now.”

Meggy bit her tongue, trying not to scream as she turned on her transporter. She used her phone to record her coordinates, before teleporting away.

The octoling heard a sound before rounding the corner. She found nothing, and glared at the metal structure. “Nothing. They must’ve teleported.”

“Damn inklings.” Viktor spat, “Now they know about the new mechas.” He started walking. “Change of plans. All of you, keep working on the land mechas. Malecia, you and I are taking the sea mechas out for a night on the town.”

Katherine woke up with crusted eyes. Slowly, she registered the blankets and her own bed. She looked up at her girlfriend.

“Hey, good, you’re up.” Lauren held Katherine’s hand. “We were starting to worry.”

“Oh.” Katherine moved her thumb, tracing circles on Lauren’s hand. “How long...? What happened?” She moved away from the edge of the bed.

Lauren sat next to Katherine, wrapping an arm around her sides. “First, what’s the last thing you remember?” She rubbed Kat’s arm up and down.

“You guys were fighting two giant monsters at the same time, and I was investigating something underwater with the swordfish. Viktor and Malecia had two new mechas, and they took the swordfish. I tried to fight them, but…” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Hey. None of that.” Lauren tightened her embrace, and brought her other hand up to Kat’s tentacle-hair. “You lost a fight. We’ve all lost fights. Besides, it was a 2-on-1. It’s not your fault none of us could back you up, and trust me, nobody’s gonna think any less of you for this.” She kissed Katherine on the lips. “Especially not me.”

“Thanks, Lorie. But again, how long was I out? Did I miss anything?”

“It’s only been a night, and nobody tried to destroy the city while you were out, if that’s what you're worried about.”

“That’s a relief.” Katherine nestled into Lauren’s side. “Can we just stay like this for a while? You’re so soft.”

“Only for a little while. Mark's already making you breakfast.” Lauren turned on her side to hug Katherine.

“Okay. Hey, wait, you guys fed Parva, right?”

“Yeah, Wendy fed him a couple hours ago.”

“Good.” Katherine settled her head on Lauren’s chest. Lauren smiled, softly stroking Katherine’s tentacle-hair.

Marcus walked into the doorway. “Hey, Kat, breakfast’s…” He paused at the two girls. “Uh, yeah…”

“Oh, thanks, Mark.” Kat stood up, and walked into the kitchen.

“You’re welcome.”

The Myers siblings sat at the table eating pancakes, while Lauren cracked an egg into a bowl. “Wow, Marcus.” She joked, “I can’t believe you only made breakfast for you two.”

“Sorry.” Marcus shrugged, “I wasn’t sure what you’d want. And besides, you're not the ones who got injured.”

"Noted. Hey, Wendy, what do you want?"

"I'll just make myself some egg-toast when you're done." She shrugged. "Anyway, what've you guys got planned today?"

Marcus swallowed. "Not sure. Without the swordfish, the only mech combo we'll be able to use is the SkyMech. But I'm not the captain." He leaned back in his chair. "Hey, Lauren, what's the plan?"

Lauren sighed as she flipped her toast. The hiss filled the kitchen. "I'm really not sure. We haven't got much contact recently from the NS Arctorra, but their mecha helped us out yesterday at least."

"Well, at least they're still on our side." Katherine tapped her fork on her cup, clinking rhythmically. "But now the octarians have everything they need to make their own underwater mech."

"Oh oh oh!" Wendy realized, "Aren't the makoids underwater? What if the octarians are trying to fight them? I mean, they threaten all of us cephalings, right?"

“Maybe.” Lauren thought aloud, placing her breakfast on the plate. “Kitchen’s open.”

“Thanks.” Wendy shot up to make her own food.

“So, what're you suggesting?” Katherine asked bitterly, “That we team up with the octarians? That we go to Viktor and Malecia for help?!” She stabbed her knife into the table, causing Marcus to pause mid-bite. She started shaking, and brought her palm up to her shaking head. “Sorry. Sorry, I don’t mean to yell, it’s just… I’m stressed. We have so much to worry about right now.”

“It’s fine.” Marcus put his fork down to squeeze Kat’s shoulder. “I’m stressed, too.”

“You guys are stressed?” Lauren set her plate down. “How do you think I feel? I’m the captain!” She leaned her head onto her palm, elbow on the table, and slowly stabbed her fork into her egg-toast. “By the way, Katie, I think you got some messages on your phone. None of us looked at them.”

“Thanks.” Katherine walked out of the kitchen. “Be right back.”

Wendy tapped her foot while waiting to flip her toast. “So. Any plans?”

Lauren leaned back. “Hard to say. We’re kinda starved for options. I’ll talk with Sheldon as soon as I’m done with breakfast. It’s up to you guys if you want to go with me.”

“I’m not sure.” Marcus admitted, “See, I met this guy yesterday-”

“Oh?” Katherine leaned forward on the back of Marcus’s chair. He yelled, nearly falling out of his chair. His fork loudly clattered against his plate. “Sorry, bro, didn’t mean to startle you.” Katherine sat next to him, putting her phone down. She stroked Parva’s back while he crawled on her finger. “But am I hearing this right?” She leaned over with a mischievous grin, practically singing, “Does my little brother have a crush?”

Marcus rolled his eyes. “No, he’s actually got a crush on me. It’s just that I’m open to it. I think I’ve been out of the dating scene long enough now.”

“Congrats, man.” Wendy sat across from him. “I hope it goes well for you.”

“Thanks.”

Katherine turned on her phone to glance at her messages, before turning it off. “I’m gonna go call my mom. Sorry, but I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

“That’s okay, sweetie.” Lauren assured her, “Take all the time you need.”

“Thanks, honey. I’m going to finish breakfast first, though.” Katherine cut her food, before turning her phone back on.

Minutes later, Katherine was sitting on her bed, with the door closed, and dialing her cell phone. “Okay. Okay, Kat, oka- hi mom!”

“Oh, Katherine, thank goodness you’re okay! Why didn’t you call sooner?”

“I’m sorry, mom. I would have, but, y’know… agent stuff.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Is it anything you want to talk about? Did Viktor and Malecia hurt you?”

“Uh… a little bit, but the main thing is that there’s this new faction. They’re an army of sharks called the makoids, and they downed our communications outside the splatlands for a while.”

“Oh, well I’m glad you got the signal back. And I’m so sorry about your parents. They’re monsters.”

“Yeah. About that, we didn’t actually do anything about the signal. Besides, Viktor and Malecia aren’t my parents. You and dad are.”

“That’s good to hear, Katherine. From everything I’ve heard, those two don’t deserve a daughter as wonderful as you.”

“Thanks, mom. I appreciate that.” Katherine dragged her blanket across her torso. “So, anyway, I need some advice.”

“What is it, hon- oh, your father’s here. Do you want to talk to him?”

“Yeah, actually, can you put me on speaker so I can talk to both of you? Unless you’re busy.”

“Don’t worry, Katherine. It’s the weekend.” Pamela put her phone on speaker. “Okay, Mike, I think she’s ready.”

“Hey, Katherine. How're things in Splatsville? Saved the world lately?”

“Yeah. Things have been, uh, eventful over here.” Katherine explained the recent attacks. She elaborated, “So, yeah, we were talking over breakfast and the idea came up to, maybe, team up with Viktor and Malecia against the makoids. Do you think it’s a good idea?”

Michael sighed, “Honestly, kiddo, that’s your own choice to make. What do you think?”

“I think that even if they somehow agreed to it, they’d stab us in the back at the first chance. They’d kill Lauren and Marcus, and probably the newbies too, and I don’t know if they’d kill me too, or kidnap me again. Y'know, they’ve been creating these monsters from my DNA that they harvested months ago?”

“Oh, Kathy, I’m so sorry.” Pamela’s voice came through, “Is there anything else you want to tell us? We won’t judge you, no matter what.”

“Yeah. I know it’s wrong, but every time I look at one of them, I remember that they were all created with my DNA. Sometimes, I wonder if maybe it was my fault for getting kidnapped in the first place. I know it wasn’t, but sometimes I think that maybe if I was just a little faster, or stronger, or if I’d woken up sooner…” She groaned, “I know that really, there was nothing I could do. So why can’t I stop myself from thinking this way?”

“Honey.” Michael admitted, “I don’t know what to say. You did nothing wrong, and you’re an amazing young woman. Viktor and Malecia aren’t good enough for you. Remember that.”

“Yeah. Thanks, dad. I love you guys.”

Pamela assured her from hundreds of miles away, "We love you too, sweetie."

Meggy teleported into the turf war lobby, where Sam and Kenji were waiting for her. “Guys, guys, guys! You’ll never guess what I just found!”

“A boyfriend?” Sam asked.

“No!”

“A girlfriend?”

“No! Kenji! I found an octarian base!”

“Really?” Kenji leaned against one of the wooden structures, “Out in the splatlands?”

“Yeah, and they’re working on something big! One of them mentioned something about an elephant and a jaguar. Those are, those, what are those exactly?”

“They’re mammals who lived alongside the humans.” Kenji explained, “I’ve seen their bones in the Shellendorf museum. The octarians are probably trying to create another mecha. Sky, sea, and now land.”

“In that case, we need to tell the captain. They’ve got enough over us as is, and we’ve still got the makoids to worry about on top of that.” Sam decided.

“Okay, so, we’ve only got four mechas right now.” Lauren paced around Alterna, “The octarians are going to attack any minute, probably with a new mech combo, and we can’t use the SkyMech again so soon after its last fight. Sheldon, are you sure it’ll take an entire week to get the autopilot functions ready for the new mechs?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Unless you want me to do a rush job, but I assure you, you don’t want me to do a rush job.”

“Right, right, oh! And let’s not forget the makoids planning who knows what next! We need a solid win. We need to get an actual leg up in this!”

“Well first off, captain Laker, I’d recommend you stop pacing for the time being. You’re only going to tire yourself out.”

“Right. Yeah. You’re right.” Lauren sat on her boxes. “Man. Merry Christmas to us.”

Nearby, three inklings with orange tentacle-hair teleported into Alterna.

Marcus walked into the turf war lobby, and over to the Crab-N-Go. “Hey, Marigold, have you seen James today? I never got his number yesterday.”

“No, sorry. I haven’t seen him since that monster attack. I hope you find him, though. You two would make a cute couple.”

“Thanks.” Marcus turned, briefly, before facing Marigold again. “Actually, can I have a commercial crab trap sandwich?”

“Of course, young man. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

“Thanks.” He walked over to the moving target dummies, where he started practicing with his splatling. After only a few minutes, a bell rang from across the lobby. “Marcus! Your order’s ready!”

“Thanks!” Marcus ran over to the counter, skidding on the floor from his own momentum. He fished around in his pocket to pay for the food.

“You’re welcome, Marcus. And good luck finding your friend.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna take this outside.”

“Okay, take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, you too.” Marcus walked out into Splatsville. While eating, he saw an inkling standing by the rundown old Grizzco building.

James stood in front of the Grizzco building, trying to warm his gloved hands beneath the perpetually flickering sign denoting its name. He heard someone calling, “Hey, James! I’ve been looking for you!”

“Oh, hi Mark. Or Marcus.”

The agent shrugged, “Mark is fine. So, you wanna hang out?” He tore off a piece of his sandwich, and held it out.

“Yeah, thanks.” James accepted the offer, “Maybe we could go over to my place?”

“Sounds good.” Marcus nodded. The two boys started walking away from the building. “Sorry we never got to exchange numbers.”

“Yeah. Thanks for protecting me from that thing yesterday.” James pulled his phone out of his pocket. “But we might as well exchange numbers now, right?”

“Yeah.” Marcus took out his phone. “And it was nothing, really. Just a standard monster of the week.”

After a minute, they had their numbers on each others’ phones.

“You know, I was actually hoping I’d run into you again.” James admitted, “Even if you don’t want to go out with me. Wait, do you want to go out with me?”

“Yeah.” Marcus confirmed, “It’s been about a year and a half since I last dated someone, I think. That’s probably long enough.”

“Yeah.” James felt something. He looked down, to find that Marcus was holding his hand. The young men looked at each other, and smiled.

“Okay, kid, I need you to back up real quick.” Lauren held Meggy by the shoulders, slowly rocking her back and forth as they stood in the snow. “What exactly did you find?”

“Okay, okay.” Meggy stroked Little Buddy’s mohawk to calm herself. “Little Buddy and I were walking through the Splatlands, when we found a cave. I thought there might be something down there, and, well… there was. I saw all this machinery, and there were dozens of octarians. I heard them talking about making new mechs, but then they spotted me, and now they’re probably going to attack us with a new mecha! We barely managed to get out in time.” She held her smallfry to her chest protectively.

“Alright.” Lauren stood upright. “That’s about what I expected. I wish I could’ve had the decency to be wrong, though.”

“So what’s the plan?” Kenji asked.

Lauren stood atop her boxes. “Okay, team, I won’t lie. We’re in a real pinch here. Our enemies clearly have the advantage. I trust that we can count on the NS Arctorra, but we haven’t established regular contact with them. We only have two of our own mechas to fall back on, and the octarians have an entire combination with another apparently on the way. The makoids-”

“You suck at this!” Sheldon tossed a snowball at Lauren. She casually held out her arm to catch it out of the air.

“You didn’t let me finish. The makoids and octarians might have us on the ropes, but when has that ever stopped us?” She crushed the snowball in her fist, letting it fall between her fingers.

Kenji cupped his arms around his mouth. “Okay, that’s great, but what’s the actual plan?”

“I was getting to that. First off, we need to make it so that we have more mechas and the octarians have less. The best way to do that, it seems, is to infiltrate their desert base and steal the new mechas before they can be finished.”

“Got it.” Meggy set Little Buddy down in the snow. “I managed to put the coordinates in the notes app on my phone, so even though I couldn’t exactly leave a beacon there without getting spotted, now it’ll only be a matter of walking there.”

“Awesome!” Sam cheered, “If the mechas we’ve already got are any indication, then I’d love to go somewhere filled with octarian tech! It’s fascinating! Not to mention decades ahead of most inkling tech.”

“He’s got a point there.” Sheldon confirmed, “Almost all of the New Squidbeak Splatoon’s more advanced tech ever since 2020 has been created with Marina’s help.”

“Hold up.” Sam held up his hand, “Are you telling me that Marina is an agent? As in, Marina from Damp Socks Featuring Off The Hook?”

“Was.” Lauren corrected, “She and Pearl were auxiliary agents ever since they helped Katherine destroy a giant statue being controlled by an evil old-timey phone, but they retired a few months before you three chuckleheads showed up.”

Sheldon nodded, “Yes. They told us that the New Squidbeak Splatoon was taking up too much time from their music careers, so they wished us well and decided to focus on their music full-time. A shame, but they have their own lives.”

“Ah, man, we’re getting off-topic!” Kenji waved his arms in the air, “Are you guys sure it’s safe to infiltrate an enemy base?”

“Not in the slightest!” Meggy cheerfully held out her arm, “Now come on, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“One sec. I’m going to call Marcus so that he can supervise you while Kat and I stay and guard Splatsville. I hate to pull him away from his little date, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made to keep the peace.”

“Ah nuts.” Marcus glared at the beeping device on his wrist. “Sorry, James. Agent stuff.”

“Oh.” James looked down. “I get it. Gotta save the world. Can you call me back when you’re done?”

“Yeah, man, of course.” Marcus turned on the communicator. “Lauren, I hope this is important. I was kind of in the middle of something.”

“Trust me, it is.” Lauren explained her discussion with the splatsquad and Sheldon.

“Alright, I guess I can chaperone the newbies while they infiltrate an octarian base.” Marcus realized, “Hey, wait. I thought we infiltrated their base months ago. Remember, when they kidnapped Kat and we had to team up with ourselves from another dimension?”

“Yeah, this is probably more like a secondary base if anything. Still, if we can steal their progress on any new mechs, it could give us exactly the advantage we need.”

“Got it. I’m teleporting right now.”

Hours later, when the full moon was rising above Splatsville, a massive shape moved underwater. The NS Arctorra’s radar detected it. “Commander!” The shrimp manning the radar turned around, “There’s a giant heading towards the city!”

Rorea scowled, leaning with both hands on her charger. “Pursue it. I’ll inform the admiral.”

“Yes sir.”

“Lord Sharpfin.” A weathered old shark kneeled before his master. The outlines of his cartilage showed through his wrinkled leathery skin, and his eyes were milky white from age. “We’ve detected a massive humanoid heading towards the cephaling city. Do you want me to create a makinoid to intercept it?”

Lord Sharpfin shook his scarred head. “Don’t bother. Let the machine recharge, while the cephalings destroy themselves. Their petty squabbles will only make our goal easier.”

The scientist’s face split into a wide grin. “As you wish, my liege.”

A dome of water rose off the coast of Splatsville, bursting apart in seconds. A violet humanoid mecha jumped out onto the pavement, causing a shockwave as it landed. In one hand, it wielded the swordfish’s protrusion as a rapier. In the other, it wielded the goblin shark’s protrusion as a rotating chainsaw. Its legs were surrounded by a net of man-o-war tentacles.

The octarian mecha raised its arms and swung them to either side. It punctured a skyscraper, and sliced through another. It lowered its arms, causing the buildings to collapse in on themselves.

An even larger vessel emerged from the waters, transforming in midair to land in the purple mecha’s path. It was a gray behemoth, twice the size of the octarians’ machine. “Halt! This is admiral Remora of the NS Arctorra! Turn your weapon around, or we will use force!”

Malecia rolled her eyes. “Well, in that case…”

The SeaMech’s front tentacles shot out, elongating exponentially in order to wrap around the Arctorra’s knees. They were wreathed in electricity, causing the Arctorra to shake.

Rorea growled, “I guess we need to use force.”

The Arctorra reached down to rip the SeaMech’s tendrils off itself, turning to throw the machine further from the coast. It briefly soared a few dozen feet over the ground before landing deafeningly, skidding to create a massive trail of upturned pavement.

“Now to finish them.” Remora decided. The Arctorra walked forward, while the SeaMech stood up, and readied its rapid-fire cannons. It fired a single cannonball at the SeaMech’s head.

A massive yellow shape soared above the Arctorra’s head, diving to catch the cannonball in midair.

“Gah! Lauren, what are you doing?!” Rorea screamed. The NS Arctorra walked towards the SeaMech, swatting the falcon aside. It slammed its fists into the SeaMech repeatedly, punching holes into the mecha to expose masses of wires.

“No! Stop!” Lauren drove the falcon to dive at the Arctorra, scratching at its shoulders and arms. “You’re ruining everything!”

Remora clenched his fists. “Laker, what the hell are you doing?”

An alarm blared inside the SeaMech’s cockpit. “We need to retreat, now.” Viktor decided. The SeaMech jumped over the other two robots, diving into the ocean.

The three cephalings emerged onto the ground. Rorea stormed over to the captain who was half her age, and grabbed her by the throat. “What… the hell… was that?! Why were you helping them?!”

“I wasn’t.” Lauren stood on her toes, glowering despite still being dwarfed by the commander. “I was making sure you two didn’t destroy one of our best chances against the makoids. We’re going to steal the SeaMech from the octarians, and use it against them and the makoids both.”

“Let her go, Rorea.” Remora put his hands on the womens’ shoulders to pull them apart.

“Yes, sir.” Rorea took her hand off of Lauren, allowing her to rub her neck. “Are you sure you have what it takes?”

“Yeah.” Lauren confirmed, “I know what my agents are capable of. Trust me, our enemies don’t stand a chance.”

“Are you sure this is the place?” Marcus pointed at the cave opening.

Meggy double-checked her phone. “Positive. Everyone get your weapons ready.”

The four inklings readied their splatling, stringer, charger, and roller, before venturing into the depths. After some time, their bioluminescence gave way to artificial light. “Okay, everyone clear on the plan?” Marcus clarified.

Sam nodded, “We storm in, free the octolings being mind-controlled, and steal whatever progress they’ve made on their new mechas.”

“Alright. Then let’s go.” The four of them rushed into the labyrinth of machinery, their weapons set to firing ink instead of plasma. Meggy fired three arrows into three octolings, shattering their hypnoshades and knocking them unconscious. Another octoling took an octoshot off his hip, and fired plasma at her. Marcus jumped in front of Meggy, activating his belt.

9-0-9: Ink Armor

“How did you get plasma weapons?” Marcus asked, running towards the octoling. By the time his armor ran out, he was close enough that he ducked under a shot, before jumping back up to roundhouse kick the octoling’s hypnoshades off. “Guess you’re not in much position to answer.”

Nearby, Kenji jumped off a metal pillar, causing the clang to echo throughout the room, and swung his charger to shatter a pair of hypnoshades. He backflipped under a plasma shot to shoot another pair off its wearer’s face. Sam jumped off his shoulder from behind, slamming his roller to cause a shockwave. Multiple octolings were caught off-balance, giving him an opening to yank their hypnoshades off. “Maybe they stole and reverse-engineered one of our hero DX weapons?”

“Probably.” Marcus side-flipped to get close enough that he could punch an octoling’s hypnoshades off. “Kat mentioned that she lost her daggers while she was fighting Malecia, when they were attacking us with the sky robos.”

The group fought their way to the front of the room, leaving a trail of unconscious octolings and broken hypnoshades in their wake. Three octolings worked at a massive, elaborate control console, their dark violet tentacle-hair writhing autonomously. They turned around, revealing their distinctive lack of hypnoshades. “So, you’re the New Squidbeak Splatoon?” The one in the center remarked, “I’m disappointed. The best they could send is a bunch of teenagers?”

“We’ve made it this far, haven’t we?” Marcus smirked.

5-0-5: Zipcaster

The green glow encoated Marcus’s body like ink armor, with the addition of a flowing scarf-like construct around his neck. He held out his arm, causing it to elongate and attach to the wall next to the control console.

“What the-?!” One of the octolings yelled. Marcus dragged himself over to the wall, perching on it with all four limbs, before jumping off while turning around, kicking the closest octoling in the face. She fell over, taking the other two down with her. Marcus skidded in front of the three octolings, using the zipcaster to attach his arms to the octolings on the sides, slamming them into the one in the middle before tossing them away. The zipcaster ran out. Marcus slid one foot in front of the other, and pointed at the console. “Now, guys!”

Kenji and Meggy ran forward, grabbing two of the octolings. Marcus jumped to punch the third one, while Sam sprinted behind them to examine the control console. “Good news, guys! Looks like they’ve had all their progress autosaving to a bunch of flash drives! All I have to do is grab them all and we can blow this joint!”

One of the octolings jumped backwards, spinning while skidding on the ground, then jumped forward to kick Meggy in the face. She fell backwards, the floor slightly burning her back. “How can you think our technology is that primitive?”

“Yeah, won’t we need to take the actual materials with us?” Meggy added.

“There’s no time for that!” Marcus punched the octoling in the face. “We need to take out every octoling here, make sure they can’t come back, and take this lab for ourselves.”

“We won’t let you!” One of the octolings jumped at Kenji. He fired his charger, sending her back to a far away respawn generator.