Chapter Text
Bucky started to remove his dirty and torn clothes. The General had allowed him to stay in a private quarters with his own bathroom for the night. Bucky couldn’t help but think it was his way of trying to apologise for leaving him to be experimented on and tortured for two months. Bucky knew he had been captured for two months, he made sure to ask Steve what the date was when they were safe outside. Bucky still couldn’t believe it had been two months. It felt like the time flew by and crawled by at the same time. Bucky figured it had to do with all of the times he was unconscious from their experiments. He had no idea what the hell they did to him. What they had done to the others. Bucky did know they died a very painful death from all of the screaming they did. He had been able to see them bleeding from their eyes at one point. When Zola had hooked him up to the same red IV that the others had been, his heart rate skyrocketed up to a dangerous level. Bucky wanted to say that he was brave, that nothing scared him. But when that IV bag was hooked up to him, he was terrified. He had no idea what was going to happen, but he knew it would be extremely painful and would most likely kill him.
He had no idea what Zola was trying to accomplish. He never said anything. He just worked away on them like they weren’t even people. Bucky had tried to get him to talk, but it only resulted in them torturing him. Bucky learnt to not say anything after that. When Steve had arrived, it was like an angel showed up out of nowhere. Bucky never thought he would see him again. And he really never thought he would see Steve in the shape he had been when he did see him. He had left a year ago for war and when he left, Steve was the same size he had always been. Now he was bigger and taller than him from some serum that made him stronger and faster. It was still really weird and confusing to Bucky, but he was too tired to try and process everything right now. He had gotten his shirt off and went and sat down on the bed to try and get his boots off. He looked up when he heard the door opening and saw Steve walking in with some clean clothes for him and a bottle of water.
“Hey, I brought you some clothes and water. You’re dehydrated.” Steve said, as he closed and locked the door.
“Thanks.” Bucky said, as he went to undo his boots.
“Here let me. You need to drink some of this.” Steve said, as he handed Bucky the open water bottle before he went and started to undo Bucky’s boots.
“The others ok?” Bucky asked, before he took a small drink from the water.
“A few minor injuries, mostly exhaustion and dehydration. You are the only one with serious injuries. You should still be in the medical tent, Buck.” Steve said, concerned for his best friend.
He had appeared to be ok on the trip back to base, but as time ticked by Steve could see the injuries and stress of what happened to him starting to appear more and more. Steve hadn’t asked him what happened yet. He didn’t want to push Bucky, not when they were more focused on getting out of that place and back to the base where they would be safe. Now that they were safe back on the base, Steve wanted to see if he could get some intel out of Bucky.
“I’ve seen enough needles and tubes to last me a lifetime. I just want to shower and wash it all away. I still can’t believe it’s been two months. It feels shorter and longer at the same time.”
Steve went and sat down on the bed beside Bucky after he got Bucky’s boots off. He hated that he hadn’t been there for him sooner. He hated that he didn’t know Bucky had been captured, he would have gone in after him. Instead he was on stage performing or making a movie while his best friend was being hurt. It made Steve feel sick to his stomach just thinking about it.
“Were you kept in isolation the whole time?” Steve asked, around the growing lump in his throat.
“Ya. I told the General we didn’t have enough men to take on that battlefield, but he didn’t listen. I told him their weapons were different, they were guns I had never seen before. I told him we needed more intel before we sent in troops to shut them down, but he didn’t want to hear it. They had specialized tanks. They turned them on their own men, or who we thought was their men. They just vaporized them. We were gonna fight, they all wanted to. But we were surrounded and not just with Red Skull’s men, but their tanks. I didn’t want to give up, but we weren’t gonna win and I didn’t want all of my men to be killed. I thought we could buy our time and escape later. It’s why I told them to put their guns down and put their hands up. They didn’t want to, but they followed my lead. I just… I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t see another way out.” Bucky said, as his voice shook with emotions.
Bucky knew that you don’t stop fighting. He knew that you never give up. He knew that better than anyone. He always fought to his last breath in and out of the ring. But standing on that battlefield with all of his men surrounded by firepower beyond anything they had, he didn’t see another option. He didn’t see a way out of it that didn’t result in most of them being killed and the rest being captured anyways. He thought if they surrendered, then maybe it would save more of his men’s lives. He figured they could escape or that someone would come for them. He wasn’t expecting what happened to take place.
“Hey, you did nothing wrong. You were outnumbered, out powered, you did the right thing. The only choice that would have kept them alive was to give up. I would have made the same call. I don’t ever want to stop fighting, but if continuing the fight would result in the death of hundreds, the smartest thing you could have done was throw your hands up. You made the right call Buck.”
Steve was not going to let Bucky blame himself for what happened. He would have made the exact same decision. It was the only choice Bucky could make. Those were his men, they followed his orders and it was on him to make sure they stood the best chance at coming back alive. Sometimes that means you have to know when to stop the fight to save your men. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was one that saved hundreds of lives.
“What do we know about them?” Bucky asked, trying to still process the point in any of this.
“According to the guys that were in the cells, they were being used to make weapons in shifts. Hydra is run by Red Skull, the guy we saw. He was originally with Hitler, but he’s branched off. Now it’s a three-way war. Red Skull is trying to kill anyone that gets in his way. The Nazis want control, but they aren’t looking to take on Hydra just yet. They are still focusing on us. I have no idea what America is going to be doing, but I can’t imagine they were going to let Red Skull keep operating. We have to take him down. Hydra is more dangerous than the Nazis. I have a meeting tomorrow to go over it all.”
Bucky gave a nod before he spoke. “When they brought us in, they lined us all up. I figured they were going to get us into cells, but a man appeared with a clipboard. They called him Dr. Zola. He called out specific names, fifty of them, myself included. He brought us all into different isolation areas. I couldn’t see anyone, but I could hear them, their screams. I was kept in this cement cell, but they would come in and bring me out to that room you found me in. At first it was a couple times a week, but as time went on it started to happen every day for days straight. He never talked, but I could overhear the guards talking about how I was the last one alive.”
“He knew who you were. He targeted you, all fifty of you. Do you remember the names of the others?”
Steve didn’t like that. It was one thing to capture hundreds of soldiers to make them build weapons. That was war, but to capture that many just to get their hands on a specific set of them, that was something completely different. That was planned, thought out, they were targeted, lured and captured. That terrified Steve to a whole other level. Because that meant that Red Skull could still be targeting them and only Bucky was left alive.
“Ya, ya, I remember them. I don’t get what they wanted.”
“I don’t know. Red Skull got the same serum that I did, or the first version of it. Obviously it got better with me. Did they ever give you anything that was blue?” Steve asked, trying to see if maybe Zola was trying to recreate the serum.
“No. Clear and this red IV. I only got it once and it was a few days ago I think. I can still feel it.”
“Feel it?” Steve asked, confused.
“Ya, it’s like fire. The whole time it was running into me, my whole body was on fire. It was in my veins and it just got hotter. I thought my organs were actually burning. It’s faded now, more of an annoying ache. My whole body is sore, but I don’t have a red face or a tail or anything. I’m still me.” Bucky said with a small shrug.
“I’m sorry.” Steve instantly said.
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know we had been captured. The Army doesn't exactly share that with the public. You came once you found out about it. You got us out, that’s what matters. We’ll figure it out, but not tonight. I need a shower. Will you stay with me tonight?”
There was a great deal of vulnerability within his eyes and it cut Steve deep. Bucky came across as hard, tough, but Steve knew better. He knew that Bucky was sensitive and often felt insecure. Steve always believed he had no reason to feel insecure, but he knew it was connected to his father. He was never good enough for him, something that was insane to Steve, because Bucky had accomplished so much in his life already. Bucky could hide it well, but they never had to hide anything from each other. They could always be themselves with each other.
“Always. Come on, let’s get you into the shower.” Steve said with a warm smile.
He stood up and Bucky pushed himself up. The second he was standing though the room spun and he almost collapsed had it not been for Steve’s fast reflexes. He caught Bucky and held onto him as Bucky placed his head against Steve’s shoulder.
“Hey, you ok?” Steve asked, worried that maybe Bucky should still be in the infirmary tent.
“Ya, just stood up too fast I think.” Bucky said, as he tried to blink the black spots away.
“Come on, I’ll help you in the shower so you don’t pass out and hit your head.” Steve offered, as he started to walk them across the short distance to the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom He got Bucky to sit down on the closed toilet seat while he went over to the shower and turned it on. He made sure the water would be warm, but he didn’t want it to be too hot and make Bucky feel even more light headed. With the water at the right temperature, Steve began to remove his own clothes. This wasn’t the first time they had taken a shower together. Steve had never had to help hold Bucky up before. Normally he would sit on a stool or something and Steve would wash his hair. It normally happened after his championship fights. Even though he had gloves on, his hands were swollen so horribly he couldn’t move them.
“Wow.” Bucky said, and Steve looked over at him.
He could see the shock on Bucky’s face as he was seeing him naked for the first time since the serum. Steve and Bucky were never shy with each other. They had seen the other naked plenty of times, but Steve knew this was the first time he actually had something to be proud of. Normally he was the one feeling self-conscious around Bucky, but this time around he had nothing to feel self-conscious about.
“Ya, it takes a bit to get used to.” Steve said with a smirk as he went and helped Bucky to stand up so they could get his pants and boxers off.
“Ya I can see that. You know, if you get in the shower and get all soaped up, I’ll probably feel much better.” Bucky said with a flirty smirk.
“It’s nice to know those drugs they gave you didn’t remove your flirting.” Steve said with a smile, as Bucky’s pants and boxers hit the ground.
Steve knew Bucky was bisexual, had known since Bucky was twelve. It never bothered him and it never let it change their friendship. He wanted Bucky to be careful, because they didn’t live in a world where it was ok for two men to be together. As Bucky got older and he wanted to hook up with a man he would go to some underground club where other homosexual men were. It scared the hell out of Steve, because he was always worried that someone would hurt Bucky. He knew Bucky could fight, hell he had the trophies to prove it, but he also knew that anyone could get a lucky shot in or get the jump on him when he didn’t expect it. He wanted Bucky to be safe and it was why he made sure Bucky came over when he was done so Steve could sleep that night.
Steve himself had never been attracted to other men. He knew he liked girls. But what was confusing for him was that he often thought of Bucky while he was pleasuring himself. Steve didn’t know why, but he wanted Bucky. He wasn’t gay, he wasn’t into men, he was just into Bucky. His fear of rejection though kept him at bay. He didn’t want to lose his best friend, so he squashed it all down and allowed himself to only think about Bucky in an intimate way when he was alone with his hand on his dick. Now they were both naked once again, but this time Steve was having to really fight to not let his dick get hard. That was the last thing they both needed.
“You’d miss it if it was gone.” Bucky countered, as they got into the shower.
Bucky gave a soft moan as the heat from the water hit his cool and sore skin. At the sound Steve had to really focus on the wall to keep himself from getting hard. He had a feeling this shower was going to take a great deal of will power to get through. Steve started to help Bucky get his hair wet and he watched the water turning red from the dried blood that was caked in Bucky’s hair and on his body. Steve grabbed the shampoo and started to gently work it into Bucky’s hair. He made sure to be very careful in case he had any head injuries that were still healing. He kept one arm around Bucky’s hips to make sure his legs didn't give out. Steve worked efficiently as he got Bucky’s body cleaned and once he was finished he felt Bucky’s hand on his chest.
“Is it weird for you? The difference now.” Steve couldn’t help but ask.
“It’s different, but it’s not weird. The whole situation is weird. I thought I was going off to fight in a war, only to find out that both sides have mad scientists. You’re still you though. It’s still your voice, your face, your heart and mind. The rest is just window dressing, very nice window dressing, but it doesn’t make you, you.” Bucky said with a warm voice, as he looked up at Steve. The slight height difference was odd to him, he was used to looking down to see Steve’s eyes, but he knew he would get used to it.
Steve moved his hand and placed it on the side of Bucky’s face right by his jaw line. He couldn’t help but look at Bucky. Everyone in his life didn’t think much of him. They only saw the small, sick and nerdy guy that wouldn’t make it very far in life. Bucky though, he saw the real him and he didn’t care that he was small or that he got sick a lot. He was always there for him for the good and the bad times. He was his protector, his best friend and his secret love. He never felt worthy of Bucky’s attraction, and he knew Bucky had been attracted to him. He could never figure out why. Someone that looked like Bucky could get any girl or guy he wanted and yet for some reason he wanted Steve of all people. Now though, he had almost lost him. His best friend had almost died and Steve would never get to experience what it would have been like to be with him. To show him exactly what he had meant to him.
“I can’t believe I almost lost you.” Steve said, softly.
“I’m ok, I’m gonna be fine. You saved me.”
“I’ll always save you.”
“I know. You’ve been saving me for years.”
There had been countless times where Bucky had to rescue Steve from a fight. But there have been plenty of times where Steve saved Bucky in another way. When his father’s poisonous words got too loud in his head. When the night terrors wouldn’t give him any relief. When the pain from a fight got to be too much, Steve was there to help make him feel better. He could always count on him and Bucky had become dependent on having Steve around him. Steve knew this was most likely a bad idea, but he couldn’t help it. His whole body was screaming for it. For just one taste, one night where they didn’t have to worry about consequences. One night where they could just be themselves. With far more confidence than Steve thought he would ever have, he lowered his head and pressed his lips against Bucky’s. Bucky instantly took a soft breath in as he felt Steve’s lips against his own.
He had been dreaming of the moment where he would be able to feel Steve’s lips, his body against his own. He never thought it would happen. Now that it was though, he wasn’t about to let it slip him by. Bucky pressed his lips right back and instantly Steve deepened the kiss. Bucky moaned as he felt Steve’s tongue against his own and he ran his hands over Steve’s chest. He felt Steve move his own hands down his body and over his ass. He pulled Bucky closer to him and both of their hard cocks rubbed against each other, causing them both to moan into the kiss. They started to grind against each other as the pleasure overtook their bodies. Bucky was the first one to break from the kiss. As much as he loved feeling Steve’s lips against his own, his tongue against his own, he had something else in mind that he had been dreaming of doing with his mouth. Bucky kissed his way down Steve’s chest and stomach as he got down onto his knees and ran his tongue along Steve’s hard shaft. At the contact Steve gave a deep moan as he looked down and watched as Bucky sucked on his tip. Bucky moaned as the taste of Steve’s precum hit his tongue and he was instantly in need of more. He tasted just as sweet as Bucky thought he would. Bucky wrapped his hand around Steve’s base as he started to take the length of his cock into his mouth. Steve had always had an impressive size cock and Bucky was very happy to see that it was just as impressive as before the serum. Steve had been small everywhere, but his cock had always been big and juicy. Everytime Bucky caught a peak of it, it made his mouth water and now he was finally getting to feel it running along his tongue and he never wanted to stop.
Steve couldn’t stop watching as Bucky sucked his cock. He threaded his fingers through Bucky’s hair and he watched his cock disappear into his mouth. He had never been given a blowjob before and Steve had no idea something could feel this amazing. He couldn’t help but lightly thrust his hips into Bucky’s mouth. It was a knee jerk reaction, but when he heard the deep moan coming from Bucky, Steve did it again. He needed to hear that sound again. Steve lightly thrusted into Bucky’s mouth and he couldn’t help but moan right along with Bucky at the pleasure that was building in his stomach.
“Bucky.” Steve moaned, as Bucky took him all the way down to his base.
The moans wouldn’t stop coming from Bucky. He had always loved giving blowjobs, but knowing that it was Steve’s cock going down his throat, that only made him even more turned on. Bucky moved his hands to grab Steve’s ass and made sure that he stayed deep in his mouth as he continued to thrust even faster now. Bucky gave a deep moaning whine as he felt Steve’s cock getting harder in his mouth. He knew he was close and the fact that he was going to finally taste his cum made his own cock pulse with need. Steve snapped his hips forward and gave a deep moan as he came hard down Bucky’s throat. Bucky mewled as the sweet taste of Steve’s cum ran down his throat. He greedily swallowed every last drop that Steve had for him, making sure to suck on his tip to get every last drop. Steve pulled Bucky off and up onto his feet as he captured his mouth all over again. Instantly his tongue was tangling with Bucky’s and they were both giving a deep moan.
The contact was nowhere near enough for either one of them. Steve moved his hands to the bottom of Bucky’s ass and picked him up. Bucky instantly wrapped his legs around Steve’s hips as Steve moved them so Bucky’s back was against the wall of the shower. Steve easily held him up as he reached for the shampoo and poured some on his already hard cock before he slipped two fingers into Bucky’s hole. Bucky gave a deep groan into the kiss as he started to rock his hips back and forth. Steve could feel how urgent and needy Bucky was so he worked his fingers in and out of him quickly as he focused on stretching him enough so they could have sex without causing him pain. The only reason Steve even know how to do this was from the sex talks that they had. Steve had never cared that Bucky was bisexual so they never avoided talking about either of their sex lives, or lack of Steve’s. It did make Steve feel jealous when he heard about Bucky having sex with another guy. He wished with everything in him he could have been the man that Bucky was having sex with. He never thought he would get to. Tonight was like a dream come true for him.
Steve quickly slipped in a third finger and started to look for that bundle of nerves that Bucky had told him about. Bucky broke from the kiss and gave a deep moan as he arched back from the pleasure that shot up his spine. Steve smirked as he kissed along Bucky’s neck and hit the same spot he felt before. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders and rocked against his fingers inside of him.
“Oh god, Steve. Make me yours.” Bucky moaned.
“You want to be mine?” Steve lightly teased as he sucked gently on Bucky’s neck. Being careful to not leave a mark.
“Oh fuck yes, please.” Bucky begged.
That was all Steve needed to hear. He removed his fingers and quickly placed the tip of his cock against Bucky’s hole. He had never had sex before. He didn’t look like the type of girls wanted to have sex with. Steve had accepted that, he was ok with it. After he had been given the serum there was a lot of female attention, but Steve knew it wasn’t because they liked who he was, but more along the lines of they liked what he looked like now. That wasn’t what Bucky saw though and that made this even more special. Steve started to gently push his cock inside Bucky’s ass. Bucky gave a soft moan as he felt Steve’s cock making its way inside of him. It had been a very long time since he had been with another man and it felt beyond amazing to feel Steve’s cock buried inside of him. Steve continued to push in until he was balls deep inside of Bucky. He couldn’t believe how hot and tight Bucky’s ass was. It felt glorious around his cock and he never wanted to leave.
“Oh you feel so good.” Steve said with a shaky voice as he fought to control himself.
“Move, and don’t hold back.” Bucky begged. He needed to feel Steve’s cock hitting his sweet spot. He needed that more than oxygen at that very moment.
Steve did not need to be told twice either. He was happy to see that Bucky was in just as much need as he was. Steve pulled back almost all the way before he slammed back in, causing Bucky to give a deep moan as he moved his hips to try and get the right angle. Steve knew he hit it the next time when Bucky tossed his head back and gave a small scream from the pleasure scorching through his body.
“Your moans are driving me crazy.” Steve moaned, as he pounded even harder into Bucky.
He had never felt this good before. Steve couldn’t even describe how amazing he felt. There were no words. He knew sex would feel great, but he had no idea it could ever feel like this. It was earth shattering and he never wanted it to end. Steve knew it was only supposed to be one time, but he would have loved to do this a hundred times, a thousand times. Unfortunately they can’t, not with the time they were living in. all they would ever have was one night and it would have to be good enough. Steve made sure that with each thrust his cock hit Bucky’s sweet spot dead on. He could feel Bucky’s legs trembling with need. He could feel Bucky’s ass getting tighter, squeezing his cock and taking his pleasure to a whole other level.
“Fuck, I’m close, don’t stop.” Bucky begged, as his hands clenched on Steve’s shoulders.
Steve picked up his pace even more. He was close as well and he wanted, he needed, to feel Bucky cum. Steve kissed along Bucky’s neck before he spoke into his ear. “Cum for me Sweetheart.”
Bucky gave a deep moan as he felt his orgasm inching closer. After another two direct hits against his sweet spot, Bucky gave a loud moan as he started to cum. He loved this feeling. It was better than cumming normally. When his prostate was so over stimulated it made him cum, it milked him for everything he had, the pleasure was ten times more intense. The tightening around his cock only pushed Steve over the edge. He slammed his hips forward and buried his cock deep inside of Bucky’s ass as he came with a long moan. They were both breathing heavily as they continued to pulse as they came. Bucky gave a soft moan as he felt Steve’s cum filling him up. He had never allowed anyone to have sex with him without a condom. He had never felt the heat of another man’s cum inside of him. Bucky couldn’t help but feel like he was being marked by Steve, owned by him, and that thought didn’t bother him in the least. Steve lightly began to kiss Bucky as they both tried to catch their breath. As they kissed for a few moments Steve could feel Bucky’s lips not pressing as hard against his own. He could feel his body getting weaker. He pulled back and placed his hand on the side of Bucky’s face as he spoke with a great deal of worry.
“You ok?”
“Ah…ya. Just starting to get light headed. I think the heat and exertion is getting to me.”
“Shoot. Sorry, we really probably shouldn’t have done this. You’re injured and exhausted.” Steve said, instantly feeling terrible that they had done this while Bucky was injured and exhausted.
“I’m not sorry. It was exactly what I needed. Now I need you to get my ass in bed.” Bucky said with a warm smile with his eyes half open.
“I can do that.” Steve said with a warm voice. He didn’t regret this either and he knew come morning they were in for one awkward conversation, but that was tomorrow’s problem.
Steve gently pulled out of Bucky’s ass before he placed him down on the shower floor. He kept one arm around his waist as he reached over and turned the water off. He grabbed a towel for Bucky first and wrapped it around him before he helped to get him out and sitting back down on the closet toilet lid before he grabbed his own towel. They both quickly dried off and Steve went and grabbed them some clean clothes to sleep in. Like he had done a few times after a bad boxing match, Steve helped Bucky to get dressed before he got himself dressed. With that done he carefully helped Bucky over to the bed. Bucky instantly laid down as Steve went and double checked that the door was locked so no one could walk in and see them asleep in bed together. Even if they were fully clothed, that wouldn't go over well.
Steve made his way over to the bed after flicking out the light. He crawled under the covers on Bucky’s left side. The second he was laying down, Bucky was rolling over and placing his head on Steve’s chest, right where his heart was. Steve wrapped his arms around him and placed a kiss to the top of his head.
“You ok?” He asked softly.
“Ya, just tired.” Bucky said, already sounding asleep.
“Any pain?” Steve asked, worried that he might have hurt Bucky from the fast pace of their sex.
“Not from you. Just that annoying burning.”
“Let me know if it gets worse.”
“Mmhm.” Bucky said softly and Steve knew he would be asleep within seconds.
Steve ran his thumb over Bucky’s bicep as he felt him drift off into sleep. Steve would have loved to be able to fall asleep right away, but his mind couldn’t stop going over everything that happened in the past couple of days. He had almost lost his best friend. He found him strapped down to a medical table after who knows what was done to him. Steve couldn’t believe how close he came to losing him. It was that reality that had made him want to be with Bucky now. He knew come morning they had to pretend like nothing happened. Steve knew it would be hard, but they didn’t have any other choice. Not yet at least, but maybe one day they would be able to have a real relationship without having to worry about being caught. For now, he was going to enjoy spending this night together and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.