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Chapter Text

Her, kneeling on the ground in front of her father.

The darkness of the room and the shadows flickering across the walls.

The fire in the hearth.

"You're-you're banishing me?!" the words came out strangled and nearly hysterical even to Azula's own ears. She knew she'd crossed a line, sure, but she had never expected...

"Of course not," the Fire Lord said smoothly, without a trace of empathy, "I can't disband both my heirs, can I? No, you're not banished. I just think it might be good for you if you took a little...break from the Fire Nation. Learn to sail the seas, learn to command a crew. A little humbling never did hurt anyone."

Azula clenched her hands into fists, nails digging into her palms. Disband. Like she and Zuko were pawns on a board.

"When do I return?" she asked bleakly. No longer angry. She knew it would do no good. In that way she was smarter than Zuko had been.

Her father bent down to talk in her hear and whispered softly, "That Water Tribe girl. I want her captured."

So she wasn't exactly being treated exactly like Zuko. She hadn't been given an impossible task to complete. If she did this right, she could still return home. "I understand."

-

Life on sea was boring, to put it simply. 

After a few days of seasickness, a few days of learning the ropes, she didn't have much else to do. She wasn't used to this restlessness - being in the Fire Nation capital meant there was always something to attend to. Balls, performances, goods being shipped in and out. And of course, the actual politics itself.

Which had led to where she was now.

It had begun with Zuko's banishment. Azula hadn't seen anything wrong with it when she was eleven, because eleven year olds didn't think of those things. But around the time when she'd turned thirteen (the same age as Zuko had been when he was banished) she had begun to question the things done in the Fire Nation. Zuko's banishment was something most people knew about - how could they not, when he was the first son of the Fire Lord - but there were other cases, too. Teenagers and children, some even younger than Zuko, banished for speaking up. They were almost always covered up, but there was almost nothing that didn't leave a trail. And Azula was well-known for finding trails.

Azula hadn't told her father all of this right away, but she began to ask questions about the missing children. Her father had eventually caught on, as she should have known he would have. Rather than face those unspoken accusations bravely, he chose to steer her away. He piled on school work and event plannings and her tutoring on the languages and culture of the different regions of the Earth Kingdom and the Northern Water Tribe. 

Eventually she'd spoken up, by bringing up her questions to her father in the one place she still saw him. The council room.

Of course she'd known that bringing up these cases in front of his council wouldn't have made him feel nicer towards her, but she'd hoped that humiliating him a little - backing him into a corner - would show him that he couldn't continue this. 

Of course she'd known he wouldn't stand for it.

She'd expected to be banned from the council room, she'd expected to be given more work, she'd maybe even expected an Agni Kai. But this? Banishment?

It made her feel like one of those kids, thrown away and forgotten. Her story covered up under false pretences of a student exchange trip, or whatever else her father could come up with.

The crew she was with didn't make her feel any less alone in the vast, endless blue that was the sea. At least her father had gotten a proper crew with dignified and respectable men, even if he bribed them to keep it all secret. They never addressed her using anything other than "Your Highness", so they were aware of her worth and her rank.

She knew she had terrified them the first day she had come aboard the ship, throwing a knife that thudded into the wood, an inch from the Captain's head. 

Fear was good, she knew. It would keep them in line.

It showed them that the Captain was the Captain only in name.

-

They'd been traveling for nearly three weeks before they saw the first icebergs.

Azula had felt the wind turn steadily icier as they headed North, aware that she would soon need to wear something a little warmer than her Fire Nation garb. But her clothes marked her as royalty, and she would never in hell wear the same jackets that the rest of the crew wore and look like one of them, and since she would never be caught dead sewing something even if she knew how to (sewing and stitching was peasants' work), she would wait until they reached land. She was strong enough to deal with a little bit of cold.

She had been told they would reach the North in another week, assuming nothing else changed.

She leaned over the rail of the deck and sighed, watching her breath turn to frost and determinedly ignored the cold, thinking. She assumed the Water Tribe officials wouldn't have knowledge of the Princess' whereabouts, or they would have already gone looking for her. Unless they themselves were holding her captive, which didn't make much sense. Azula felt a little in the dark about the whole thing. Despite the fact that the Fire Nation had several spies in the Water Tribe's ranks and that the two nations were on friendly terms, the whole thing had been covered up well. There was something suspicious going on, and she was determined to figure it out. Azula could be quiet stubborn when she needed to be.

Another cold breeze passed over the deck.

She just needed to wait.

-

That night came one of the worst storms the crew had ever seen.

It was common knowledge that the weather was generally unpredictable in the spring, but the crew had never sailed north enough to really see it. The sky had been blue that afternoon, and a bit of cloud cover had drifted in towards dusk. 

That night, the wind howled. It felt like a living thing, ripping at the hull of the ship, carrying away anything and everything that wasn't tied down. It was a living thing, and it was angry. The roars of the wind were echoed by the sea, getting darker and angrier. Big waves rolled up and rocked the ship, sending freezing spray up on the deck and dousing the crew. Azula had gotten up as soon as she head the wind changing and stayed on the deck despite the crew's shouts to get to safety.

Realistically, she knew, there was no "safety". The Fire Nation made boat and the Fire Nation crew weren't well enough equipped to deal with something like this. If the ship started flooding, the last place she'd want to be was in her cabin, where she could easily get trapped. It would be better to take her chances with a lifeboat on the sea, as desperate as that sounded. Azula would not go down with the ship.

Then the rain came. The clouds - a dark, angry colour - pelted their faces with the freezing water to the point where not only her face but her entire body had gone numb from the cold. The piercing pain the water droplets caused when they landed made her wonder whether it had begun to hale.

At that point she realized it would be foolish if she didn't wear a jacket - dying from hypothermia to save her pride seemed stupid in the face of it all.

In her fur lined jacket, thick boots and pants, she hardly recognized herself. 

She took a lifeboat and tossed herself and it - into the sea. The waves came but still she clung on to it, gritting her teeth against the icy coldness of the water. She would be thrust under water, struggling and kicking, and fight her way to the surface. Gasping and choking on water. She would have time to take one breath before getting thrust under again. She fought off unconsciousness as long as she could, but eventually she lost to it.

Still she held on.

-

When Azula woke up, she could feel nothing but pain.

She rolled over and coughed, water spilling out of her lungs and on to the snowy ground. She rolled over again and laid there, heaving and gasping. She faintly registered the fact that she was in some kind of cave, but her brain couldn't move past that - clouded from the pain.

"Are you alright?" A soft voice asked.

Azula turned her head (ignoring the way her neck groaned in protest) and found herself face-to-face with a girl. Beautiful dark braids. Eyes - the grey colour of the sea. Azula could recognize her face anywhere, even with a different hair colour.

Yue.

The lost princess.

Oh Saints, she thought.

She promptly lost consciousness. 

Chapter Text

Azula spent a lot of time in and out of consciousness.

How much time, she couldn't tell. She always awoke to Yue sitting beside her, stroking her hair or humming to her or cleaning her wounds. Her entire body was sore, and her brain felt fuzzy and discombobulated. Her movements were slow and it took a while for her to process what was going on. There were always gaps in her memory, and she sometimes she felt like she was reaching for something in her mind that she couldn't find. She hated it.

She wasn't sure how or if she was eating, but she didn't feel starved.

Her nightmares were filled with crashing waves and stormy seas. She would wake up shivering and sometimes even crying.

For the first time in many, many years, she felt weak.

-

When Azula awoke for good, Yue wasn't there. 

She spent a few minutes lying there, her breathing shallow and laboured. She was warm enough that she wasn't shivering, but she felt quite hungry. Eventually she forced herself up.

She was in some kind of cave - protected from the wind and snow she could hear outside. There was a pit that had been clearly hand dug, going deep enough that she could see the brown earth down below. There were a few burnt logs that were still smouldering. She wasn't wearing the crew men's clothing anymore, or her Fire Nation garb, but a thick, blue, fur-lined coat and pants that looked Water Tribe. She wasn't sure how to feel about it. 

There was a pot of what looked like some kind of stew, gone cold. It didn't look like any of the dishes she had learned about, although those had all been dishes served to Water Tribe royalty. 

"Oh good, you're awake," came a soft voice that was both familiar and unfamiliar. Azula turned around to find Yue, her coat covered in snow as she entered into the cave. They eyed each other - partly out of suspicion, partly because they had never really interacted.

"Princess Yue." It wasn't a question, but a statement. Azula was a little concerned by how slurred her speech was. She forced herself to smile cockily at the girl.

"Princess Azula." Of course Yue had recognized Fire Nation royal clothing. She wasn't stupid.

While Azula still technically held the title of 'Princess', she was also unofficially banished. Which meant she had no claim to the throne at the moment, which meant she wasn't really 'Princess' anymore. She was too tired to correct the other.

"Where are we?" She asked instead, trying to figure out how she could gain control of the situation, even in her weakened state.

"About twelve miles from the city borders," Yue responded, if reluctantly. "Sometimes hunting parties create little hideout they use in the spring and summer. I'm just lucky I found one that had everything I needed."

Azula glanced at the rabbit traps, the pot, the blankets and all the other tools around. "How long have I been out?"

"About a week and a half. You caught hypothermia, which is why you're still probably weak and unsteady. But you've been gradually getting better and eating more."

"Eating?" Azula frowned.

"Yes...? I've been feeding you everyday - when you're awake."

Azula couldn't remember. She also didn't remember waking up more than a handful of times. Memory loss was common when someone had hypothermia, she knew, but it still made her feel weak and vulnerable. What if there was something she'd done, or something Yue had done, that she couldn't remember? 

It doesn't really matter, she told herself firmly. You can still take her on if you need to.

Still, she felt a little shaken up. And now that she had some answers, she felt quite tired.

Yue must have sensed this because she motioned to the cocoon in the corner. "Sit. I'll make you something to eat."

Azula wanted to protest - being dependant on someone was never a good thing and especially when that person is an enemy, but she didn't have much choice. She watched Yue rekindle the fire and heat up whatever had been in that pot. She poured a bowl for herself and for Azula, and Azula wondered how Yue'd gotten the food anyway. The hideout probably hadn't had any food stored and definitely not enough for a week and a half. 

"I set out some rabbit traps," Yue replied to Azula's thoughts. Azula was unnerved by how easily the other girl could read her. "I caught a couple, and I've always known how to make stew. We're out now, though, so I'll have to catch some more."

"They taught you how to hunt and cook?" Azula asked, surprised. Yue was royalty - wouldn't they have taught her things like politics and business and dealing with internal and external affairs?

"Cook, yes. They teach all the girls to cook and sew. I'm not technically supposed to know how to hunt but I watched the men do it sometimes and it really isn't as hard as they make it seem. I'm sure women could too, if they were taught."

Azula snorted, picking up her bowl and digging in. It didn't taste like much, but she was starving. "Well, of course. But why didn't they teach you more important things? Like how to run your country?"

"I...no. It's not really...it would never have really been my country. Everything would have been passed down to my husband." A frown crosses her face at that. "You should slow down or you'll get sick."

Azula set down her bowl, most of the contents already finished. She felt like she could fall asleep any minute.

"The Water Tribe is weird." She said at last. 

There was something else she wanted to say but she couldn't remember what they'd been talking anymore. Her brain felt slow again. She laid down, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.

-

The next few days passed a little like that, although she could feel herself slowly recovering - eating more, staying awake longer, not feeling as dizzy or lightheaded anymore. Or maybe that was wishful thinking.

She didn't trust Yue any more than she had before, but it wasn't like she had any choice but to let herself be taken care of by the other girl. Pushing herself or forcing herself to stay awake would only slow down her recovery.

About a week later, Azula was able to cook for herself and stay awake for a few hours at a time. Yue laughed, saying Azula could only be recovering this fast through sheer will power. Azula glared at her and tried to ignore the way her heart fluttered at the sound.

-

A few days later they packed everything they needed up and headed out into the cold. It was a risk, in Azula's condition, but the days had grown warmer and the snow had begun to turn mushy under their feet. Hunting parties would soon be arriving, and they couldn't risk getting caught.

Their alliance was an unspoken agreement. Although Azula had been sent to capture Yue (something Yue didn't know) and although Yue had made her disdain for the Fire Nation clear, Azula knew she needed Yue in order to survive and Yue wasn't cold enough to let a fourteen-year-old die. It made the most sense for them to work together. For now.

They moved to another cave half a mile off that Yue had found the day before.

The next day they moved again.

And again.

-

Azula didn't know who Yue was running from or why she was running. She didn't know how much it mattered, or whether Yue would ever choose to go back to her city again. It would certainly be more comfortable than living in caves.

She didn't need to ask.

"I can't go back to my people - they've formed an alliance with the Fire Nation. I love them, and I fervently hope they're safe, but I can't support a nation that's killed so many innocent people." There was a steely glint in Yue's grey eyes that Azula had begun to recognize. It was the look of Yue's determination - a nearly unbreakable resolve. It kind of reminded Azula of herself.

Azula didn't bother to correct the girl about the intentions of the Fire Nation - creating peace and prosperity.

"What do you think one little girl like you could do about it?" she asked instead. Her voice had an edge of mocking that was clearly heard by the other, who smiled.

It wasn't a soft, pleasant smile. It was bitter, and Azula found she liked this one a lot less. "I'm going to join the Avatar."

Azula laughed. "The Avatar?!"

Yue nodded. "He should be heading towards the Earth Kingdom now."

"Yue–" Azula ignored how familiar she felt with the name, "The Avatar...hasn't been seen in a hundred years."

"You mean you haven't heard?" Yue frowned in confusion. "Has the Water Tribe not told the Fire Nation yet? Or have you just not received the news?"

"No, if the Avatar was alive..I would have received the news." Azula ignored the part of her that wondered if that was true. Her father may not have trusted her with the information.

Yue's eyes lit up and her face radiated a kind of untouched joy. It was beautiful to look at. Azula turned her face away, staring at the ground.

"The Water Tribe hasn't told the Fire Nation yet," Yue continued excitedly. "Which means they aren't really loyal, after all. We have a chance."

We have spies there, Azula thought.

But that was really the last thing on her mind because...the Avatar. The Avatar was alive. 

Growing up, both Azula and Zuko had held this childlike wonder of the Avatar - one person who could control all four elements. Azula thought she had grown past this, but something about the Avatar being alive made a little part of her - that was still a kid - want to meet him. The realistic part of her realized that he was an enemy and could pose a very real threat.

"How..?" She settled on asking.

"I don't really know. Sokka said that he's been trapped in an iceberg for the last hundred years, but...you can never really trust Sokka." She laughed, and a look of bittersweet fondness crossed her face. Azula pushed down the way her heart twinged at that.

Yue looked lost in thought.

Azula went out to check their traps for food.

-

"Why isn't your hair white?" Azula asked, a few days later.

"I lost it. It went away once I healed the moon."

Azula laughed. "Healed the moon?"

"You must have been at sea," Yue realized. "So you didn't hear the news?"

What news?

Yue answered the unspoken question. "The day before you washed up on shore, the Fire Nation attacked us. We must've had spies in our midst, warning the Fire Nation that we were getting restless, and angry. We weren't as loyal, and so I guess they decided to teach us a lesson.

"One of them killed the moon spirit, Tui. Your officer with the sideburns. Zhao."

Azula had never liked Zhao. He was too brash, too cocky. Too interested in his own gain rather than the gain of the Fire Nation.

"Everything was dark, that night."

Azula remembered the way the sky had suddenly gone black. The way the storm had come out of nowhere, fierce and angry. It hadn't been unpredictable weather...it had been La's wrath.

"Tui blessed me as a child, which was why I had white hair in the first place. I wasn't born with it. I was sick as a baby, and my parents took me to the Spirit Oasis. They prayed to Tui and that night she blessed me. I opened my eyes for the first time."

Yue looked at the ground, a little sad. "Every memory of myself, I've had white hair. It feels strange without it."

Azula didn't want to speak, feeling like she would be ruining a moment of vulnerability for Yue. 

"Why didn't you...die?"

Yue looked up at Azula, her eyes weary and tired. "I wasn't dead before I was blessed. I was just sick. And now, without the blessing.."

"You're sick," Azula finished.

Azula had noticed. As she recovered, she could feel Yue getting weaker. As she was able to go out in the snow for longer periods of time, Yue was able to go out less. 

A part of her knew this was an advantage. A sick Yue was one she could capture. Another part of her.... - she ignored whatever it was trying to tell her.

Azula finally asked what she'd been wondering for several days. "How are you going to find the Avatar?"

"A ship," Yue replied immediately. "We're heading closer to the sea now, and without my white hair I'll be able to disguise myself. I know I'll be able to find him if I head to Omashu. Unless Omashu's been captured?"

She aimed the last question at Azula, who shrugged. Before she left she knew the Fire Nation had planned to attack the city, but she wasn't sure if it had happened, or whether or not they'd been successful. She couldn't be sure anymore that it hadn't all been a lie set up by her father because he didn't really trust her. "I don't know."

Yue looked like she didn't believe her. 

There was a more urgent, pressing question in Azula's mind. If Yue boarded a ship and headed for the Earth Kingdom and for safety, what would happen to her?

Azula didn't know how to capture Yue in time and hand her over to the Fire Nation. She didn't know if that was something she even wanted anymore. Why hand over Yue - who was no older than those other children who'd been banished by the Fire Lord - to people who would probably torture her or kill her or use her as leverage against her people. The answer was obvious: to return home. But was returning home something she wanted anymore? Did she want to return to a father she knew would throw her away the second she slipped up?

Azula shook her head at herself, trying to clear those thoughts. But it felt like trying to keep water from slipping through her fingers - impossible. Uncertainties and doubts and insecurities that had been brewing in her mind for the last two months - or maybe even the last year and a half - rushed to the front of her mind.

She knew the answer to the questions in her head, she just didn't want to admit them.

-

They reached the coast far too quickly.

Azula had no idea what to do, no idea what Yue planned to do.

It turned out that it didn't matter - as soon as the two of them stepped out on to the harbour, a swarm of soldiers rushed out to capture them. Azula immediately went for the knife she kept handy in her sleeve, but she hadn't completely recovered and she knew she couldn't fight them all. She eyed them up, seeing their uniforms. Not Water Tribe. From afar they looked like the uniforms Fire Nation soldiers at the lowest rank wore. But Azula could immediately tell there was something off - the colour was too deep, and there was some kind of insignia over the heart of every soldier. She couldn't see their faces through the dark red masks.

Azula had no idea who these people were.

"Take the Fire Princess hostage," barked a gruff, unfamiliar voice. "Take Lady Yue to our most comfortable cabins and make sure a healer sees to her."

An enemy of the Fire Nation, then. Or maybe just an enemy of her?

"Wait!" said a different voice, this one much younger sounding. Azula's heart immediately began thumping in her chest.

It was different, sure, but not different enough that-

But no it couldn't be-

Then she was turning around to face someone she had believed worse than dead.

The scar was duller than it had been that day, but still the first thing she saw.

"Zuko."

Chapter Text

When Azula saw Zuko, in her heart was relief. Confusion, yes. Disbelief, yes. Uncertainty, yes.

But pure, strong, undiminishable relief.

It turned out Zuko didn't feel the same way.

- 

The boat was the Avatar's, Azula quickly found out. The soldiers with the strange uniforms were also the Avatar's. The emblem over their chest was a symbol - a single gust of wind in the middle surrounded by waves on the right, flames on the left and a green leaves below. The three nations, led by the Avatar.

And it was true. The warriors were Water Tribe - from the South and the North - Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, all wearing the same uniform.

Azula found it childish.

As she found the Avatar, who really brought her dreams of immeasurable strength and power crashing to the ground. He was a useless young child who didn't really understand war.

Once she heard about the crew's plan to attack the Fire Nation capital, the Avatar wasn't the only one she thought stupid and naive.

-

She was clearly a prisoner, and probably one who would be used as leverage against her own father and nation, but at least they let her out for walks out on the deck. She was supervised, but not strictly guarded.

The Avatar didn't have just one ship. He had the beginning of a military fleet and army - she could count at least twelve other ships sailing behind them (all wearing the same dark uniform), if not more. The ships were either stolen Fire Nation ships or built specifically to look Fire Nation - and since they kept to trade routes between Ba Sing Se and the Fire Nation - they were let through without issue.

Azula watched the Avatar and the Water Tribe girl with an attitude problem spar in the mornings. She had to admit that the Avatar wasn't bad.

When she watched him spar with Zuko, however, she could see that his Firebending needed serious practice and improvement.

Zuko always ignored her when she was on deck. She tried not to let it sting. She told herself she was better than him.

She'd begun to warm up to the idea of attacking the Fire Nation capital. Yes, part of her knew it was a foolhardy idea. But maybe...if they did it right...if some of them traveled through the rural parts of the Fire Nation on foot and knew how to gather more soldiers to help them...if they had enough strategy...

It was stupid. So, so stupid.

Azula didn't even really want to attack the Fire Nation. She recognized that she didn't want Ozai on the throne, hurting more children who weren't yet old enough to think for themselves. Poisoning the minds of those who could think for themselves, or those who were weak. But she didn't want to hurt her own people. 

Azula heard enough stories from the crew who were nice enough to talk to her. Villages burned down, children killed, parents taken.

She let those stories into her heart, let her heart feel the anger and the sadness and the grief and the destruction.

They were all monsters.

And yet...wouldn't Azula be even more of a monster if she let her own people get attacked and killed?

And yet...wouldn't Azula be even more of a monster if she let these people - these desperate crew members - get themselves killed?

She knew she had the most inside information on the Fire Nation, regardless of how much the Fire Lord had trusted her. She could be the key to their success. She was the only one who knew the military weak spots, when shifts changed, who commanded who, even what each Fire Nation uniform meant. 

She had learned and memorized it all. For her father. To make him proud.

She shook her head in disgust.

One side of her won.

She knocked on the door of Zuko's cabin.

-

"Absolutely not."

They were in Zuko's council room. It looked nothing like Ozai's with the flags of the four nations strewn up, and the Avatar's crest in the centre. That was probably on purpose.

"Why?!" Azula asked - stubborn and a little exasperated.

Zuko fixed her a stony glare. He was so much taller than she'd remembered him to be. "Because I can't trust you, that's why. End of story."

Azula crossed her arms over her chest. "If I was going to betray you all to the Fire Nation, you would have all been dead by now."

"What do you mean?" he frowned.

"I mean that any of those times I've been on the deck I could have sent blue fire into the sky. No matter what, the nearest Fire Nation ship would have had to come investigate. And if they'd caught you, they would have sound the alarm. Your fleet is impressive, I'll give you that, but on water you don't really stand a chance."

Zuko's frown deepened and Azula knew he couldn't really argue with her. Still, he opened his mouth to protest.

She cut him off. "Or, I could have escaped any of those times you guys docked and went out on land to gather news and followers. You do realize that you only left one guard? I could have easily escaped."

"She's right," came an unexpected voice. Iroh. Azula couldn't hide her disdain for him. Although she pretended it was his laziness, or his tea obsession, or even his weight, it was more than that. It begun from her very first memories of him, when he'd looked down at her with such contempt. Like he saw her father in her eyes.

He'd given her a doll, for Saints' sake. And he'd given Zuko a knife.

She would never forget the deep humiliation of that moment. Being treated like a silly little child in face of Zuko being treated like a warrior.

But now he was agreeing with her, and Azula was weary.

"I think we should trust her," came the high voice of the Avatar, and Azula resisted rolling her eyes. How naive could you get?

"I don't like her." The Water Tribe girl pursed her lips thoughtfully. "But...I think she's the best option we have."

Finally. A smart  person. 

"What happens to her if- I mean when- we win?" Zuko demanded. "Do we just let her roam free in her homeland, which she "understands the best out of all of us"?!" 

He threw her own words back at her in air quotes. Azula felt her cheeks burn at being referred to as if she wasn't in the room.

Chin up, she told herself. Speak confidently. "I'd like to be a part of reforming my nation. I know you guys don't have many Fire Nation warriors in your army, and you have even less who understand politics or who can be rulers. I doubt the Avatar - Aang," she correct herself, "wants to sit there on a board and go through paperwork. Or any of you guys, anyway, except for Zuko. I've been trained for that kind of stuff."

In reality, she wanted to be Firelord. She knew that Zuko didn't want to rule, despite the fact that the others had convinced him to. He would be terrible at it anyway. His people wouldn't trust him, and he'd been gone long enough that he would have to re-learn everything about trade routes and laws and the government system.

But she knew she couldn't very well tell them that. Not when their trust in her was so thin.

Not when Zuko had no trust in her.

"We'll think about it," was his final response.

She knew she'd have to earn it from him.

Luckily, Azula had always been good at what she set her mind to.

-

She missed Yue.

She didn't understand why the other girl had never gone to see her, or was mysteriously avoiding her. Yue spent all her time in her cabin, alone.

Before, Azula had thought the other girl was just avoiding her, but even when Azula was out of her cabin a lot more (sparring with the others, war preparations) she never saw Yue out..

It took Azula by surprise, how strong her emotions were. 

There was a deep pain in her chest whenever she thought of the other girl's steel eyes, or smile so soft and gentle you wouldn't find it if you weren't looking for it, or the way she hummed when she was cooking, or even the way she laughed loudly and openly at Azula's "antics".

She thought about Yue far too often.

With the war, with the battle preparations, with her betrayal - her mind should have been too full to wonder whether or not Yue's skin still smelled like lavender.

She couldn't understand it.

(She didn't want to understand it.)

-

Suki was nice company. She was insanely strong, and could take Azula down if they went hand-to-hand without firebending. 

She didn't exactly trust Azula, she wasn't stupid enough not to, but she was free with her jokes and her stories of Kyoshi Island and her combat tips.

She made Azula laugh too many times to count.

Still, Azula thought only of Yue's dry sense of humour.

-

Sokka turned out to be much smarter than he looked.

He was genius at thinking outside of the box, and she found they worked well together.

Many times it was just the two of them in the council room, poring over maps and strategies.

They became the unofficial war advisory committee.

At least in Azula's head.

Still, Azula thought only of the way Yue's nose wrinkled when she was deep in thought.

-

Azula had been right about The Water Tribe girl. Katara.

She clearly had the most common sense, and what she lacked in creativity she made up for in pure strength.

They sparred together every morning, and sometimes afternoons too.

Her Waterbending was on another level.

Still, Azula thought only of the way Yue fought - clumsy and pure.

-

Azula was put off by the way Toph acted at first.

She was too loud, too brash.

But Azula soon warmed up to Toph's refreshing bluntness.

It was a far cry from the fakeness of the politicians she had interacted with, growing up.

Still, Azula thought only of the way Yue always spoke whatever she was feeling, even if most people (mysogynists) hadn't ever listened to her growing up.

-

Azula had enough of her thoughts stewing in her own head.

She wanted someone to talk to, and Yue seemed like the best person, even if the girl was ignoring her. Yue always seemed to know the best thing to say. Always seemed to know what Azula was thinking.

Azula walked over to Yue's cabin, pausing hesitantly.

She was worried by how nervous she felt, wondering if Yue really hated her. Why did she care, anyway?

She breathed deeply, steeling her nerves and preparing for the worst.

"She's sleeping," came a voice.

Azula turned to find Suki leaning against the wall, watching her. There was an unreadable expression in her eyes.

"What do you mean?" That was a stupid question.

"I just don't think you should be disturbing her right now. She needs some rest." Suki glanced over her shoulder as if she was saying something she wasn't supposed to.

Azula felt desperate, and hurt. Had Yue sent Suki to lie to her?

Then the realization hit her.

She was in love with Yue.

In love.

She turned and ran in the opposite direction.

-

Yue being a girl wasn't a problem.

No, the Fire Nation had never really been homophobic. There had been several instances of Fire Lords who had married the same gender, and no one had opposed.

No, it was more the shock of it.

Falling in love?

It sounded strange, even to herself. It sounded like something right out of a story.

And a Water Tribe girl? One who was basically useless at fighting?

Still, Azula couldn't deny it any longer.

-

A small, discreet party of mostly Fire Nation soldiers was sent out on to enemy territory, to find spies who were working against Ozai and recruit them. Azula and Sokka had agreed on it together.

It was foolish, and dangerous, but a small part of Azula wanted to go with them and help save those brainwashed Fire Nation people.

-

The day of attack came closer and closer. Azula and Sokka had agreed on the solar eclipse, when the Fire Nation would be most vulnerable.

The Day of Black Sun, as the crew members had started to call it.

They devised a strategy, some of them attacking the capital and Ozai himself, and some attacking and taking control of the guard towers. They wanted as little bloodshed as possible, but they also didn't want the Fire Nation soldiers to attack them as soon as the eclipse was over.

Iroh and his band of hippie old guys ("The white lotus") had been left in the Earth Kingdom. They were given instruction to get as much help as they could from Ba Sing Se and reclaim Omashu during the actual eclipse period.

Azula forced herself to stop glancing at Yue's door.

-

The night before, she and Sokka stayed up far too late going over their plans, despite the fact that everyone on the ship had already memorized them.

Still, neither could go to sleep, even when Suki hissed at them that they needed rest.

"Hey Azula," Sokka whispered softly, jerking her from her thoughts. The lantern had burned out, and they were left in the dark.

"Yes?"

"You know that you have to be the one to take the crown, not Zuko, right?"

She paused, and then nodded decisively, even though he couldn't see her face. "Yeah. I know."

"Okay."

They both fell asleep.

-

Azula had been chosen to attack the castle itself.

Not that chosen would be the right word, since she and Sokka had been the ones to design the plan.

She, Katara, Aang and Zuko made their way through the countryside, up a steep but hidden path. It would never have worked with an army, but with just four of them they were able to manage it without much difficulty.

Then they waited.

Azula could see the moon and the sun in the sky, converging slowly together. It felt symbolic somehow. She couldn't help but think of herself and Yue - and immediately felt like slapping herself.

Then alarms rang out in the city below them, and the fighting began.

The four of them couldn't see much of what was happening, and they really couldn't afford to be distracted.

The guards spotted them.

It was a stupid mistake, really, but something Azula should have remembered - the guards at the left entrance. They had a clear view of anyone passing through.

"Hey-" one of them yelled, and Azula panicked. Before he could sound the alarm, he fell unexpectedly to the ground, twitching uncontrollably. He quickly lost consciousness. Azula looked beside her to see Katara's hands raised, a grim look on her face.

What the-

She didn't have time to dwell on it because then they were moving, the alarms ringing behind them.

Oh god. 

The eclipse hadn't started yet, and wouldn't start for another fifteen minutes. 

They entered the actual place without much effort, finding minimal security out front, as Azula suspected there would be.

From there Azula led them, through familiar winding corridors and twisting stairs to the Throne Room, without incident. The lack of security had begun to make her nervous.

All four rounded the corner, and-there. All the guards had been posted outside, guarding Ozai. At least a hundred guards, all turning towards their small group.

The eclipse still hadn't started.

The guards raised their arms, ready to attack.

"HALT!" She ordered, throwing her hood back. She'd worn her crown, under her hood, hidden from the others. It had been Sokka's idea.

"Azula," Katara muttered, furious. "What the heck do you think you're doing?"

The guards muttered to each other, recognizing her. They were unsure what to do, she realized.

One of the men stepped forward, bowing slightly. "Princess Azula. We thought you dead."

Dead?

"Stand down," Azula commanded. "We won't hurt any of you. It's only Ozai we're after."

Saying his name with any honorific titles was nearly considered treason.

"Why should we listen to you?" One of the guards spoke up. Some of the others muttered in agreement.

Still they hesitated. Azula knew what they looked like - three young teenagers and one child. Harmless. She was using that against them.

"Oh come on!" One yelled, and attacked.

Or, tried to.

Nothing happened.

Aang began to tilt the floor itself at her signal, unbalancing them. They panicked and began running in the other direction, spreading chaos and fear.

Azula almost sighed in relief. She had bought them time.

-

The Avatar fighting the Fire Lord was one of the most amazing things Azula had ever witnessed.

Even once Ozai had regained his bending, he was no match for Aang in Avatar State. 

She hadn't really gotten to see it before (something about chakra pools and spiritual energy) but the amount of raw power he radiated was unbelievable.

She suddenly felt like she was five again, her and Zuko reading books with illustrations of past Avatars and whispering to each other in awed voices.

Then Aang had to ruin it by doing the "noble thing" and not killing Ozai. He took away the Fire Lord's bending, which was really amazing and really frightening to watch. The fact that one little person could hold so much power...and apparently he'd learned it from a giant lion-turtle?

Azula took the throne, which was actually easier than she'd thought it would be. Zuko's face turned an angry shade of red and he began spouting nonsense about how this had been her plan all along (which he was kind of right about) and how she had probably been working with the Fire Nation the whole time and she had ordered them to stand down.

She wouldn't be surprised if he started saying she was the one who orchestrated the eclipse.

Still, Katara talked some sense into him, and he stood down and formally abdicated. Though he pretended he was angry, Azula could see the obvious relief in his eyes.

Suki rushed into the nearly destroyed throne room, then and breathlessly told them that Yue was dying.

- 

Azula's blood went cold, and she ran out of the room immediately, disregarding anything else.

There was nothing but sheer panic in her mind as she raced back down the path hey had come.

Not Yue, not Yue, not Yue

But Azula knew how sick the girl had been, remembered how she had always been shut up in her room.

She boarded the ship, elbowing her way past celebrating soldiers.

She knocked once on Yue's door and ran in.

She stopped in the middle of the room, taking Yue in.

Her soft, dark hair, matted and greasy. Her beautiful, tawny skin, pale and taut. Her eyes, closed.

"Oh, Yue," she whispered, softly.

Her heart felt like it was breaking in her chest, but she couldn't look away.

She stepped forward and took Yue's face in her hands, cradling the soft skin.

"You're going to be okay," she whispered. "You're going to be okay."

She could still feel Yue's laboured breathing, her chest struggling as it rose and fell.

She didn't let herself cry.

-

She stayed there all day, by Yue's side, and then well into the night.

Yue awoke in short bursts, usually asking for water. Her voice was strained and so, so quiet.

Azula wiped her burning forehead with a cool, damp cloth. She brushed Yue's hair away from her face and sang to her. She spoon-fed her out of a bowl, coaxing her to swallow every spoonful.

She fell asleep a few times, and each time woke up with her heart racing. She would check Yue's pulse, and relax when she could still find it.

It wasn't until the early hours of the morning - when the light was rising once again - that Yue's pulse faded.

"Thank you," came Yue's whispered voice. She wasn't physically standing there. She was a spirit, Azula realized.

"I love you."

There was the feeling of unimaginably soft lips being pressed against hers.

Azula didn't cry. 

She talked to the healers there in a low voice and told them to bury her with the rest of the dead. There weren't many, but they would be mourned.

Azula knew Yue would have wanted to be buried here, where the Avatar had finally ended the war.

She didn't cry.

-

Her coronation was both a happy and somber affair.

"Today marks the beginning of a new age," she told her people. All of them - Water Tribe, Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation. And she meant it.

"No more fear. No more death."

Her voice broke, but she continued.

"No more grief."

Tears began to roll down her cheeks, but she didn't care, because she could see others crying as well. Fire Nation people who had lost their loved ones in war. Earth Kingdom people who'd had their villages burned down. Water Tribe people who'd seen their wives taken away and who'd never gotten to see their children grow up.

"Will you help me create a world built on peace instead of hatred?"

No one denied her the throne after that.

No one who couldn't be taken care of.

-

Fire Lord Azula gazed out of her window, looking at the moon. It shone brightly in the sky, and it felt close.

"I love you too."