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Birthday Magic

Summary:

In an AU, Rose Hunter's birthdays are spoiled by her disrespectful twin sister, Lily. As Rose faces another difficult birthday, her boyfriend, Jake, plans a magical surprise to lift her spirits and give her the celebration she's always deserved.

Notes:

Lily: Yvette Nicole Brown: Cookie Pound Puppies

Living the good life

A good life isn't something that happens to you. You choose it as much as it chooses you. You decide to live well every day with every single decision you make.

You'll love, dream and fail. You'll fall and get up again. You'll stand tall. You'll shift, grow, and create.

Because you consciously choose to live a good life, to live well, whatever that means to you.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

 

pixai Julia Long

 

Poor Rose Hunter continued dreading her upcoming birthday for one excellent reason. Her older twin sister Lily continuously gave the most thoughtless gifts.

She couldn't grasp how anyone would consider giving their father rocks from their driveway for his birthday and or giving their twin sister shoelaces and hotel soap. There was last Christmas when Lily thought it was a splendid idea to give her sister her English teacher's castoff bedsheets. Never mind, they're worn out and could have bloodsuckers.

Rose couldn't even have a birthday party anymore. Not after Lily did at the last one, being extremely disrespectful to the guests. They'd gone to Rose's favorite Chinese restaurant, only for Lily to scream that she hated Chinese in the waitress' face.

Next, she'd complained all night regarding the film their godmother had taken them to see for their birthday. Instead of appreciating the moving picture, she ranted about how everything was historically inaccurate or bitched about something else.

Rose never got to enjoy her birthdays. She also didn't care for Lily's insults about her gifts. Rose had given her sibling countless thoughtful gifts. A cat bed, novels, knickknacks, paintings. She even wrote her sister a short story based on her work!

All she'd gotten for any of this was being hollered at or even physically beaten! Last Christmas had been the last straw for Rose. She'd searched extremely hard for the perfect present for her sister. She'd gone to Goodwill and gotten a gorgeous painting based on Native Americans. However, when her sister unwrapped it? Rose could quote the disrespectful words and tone flawlessly.

Lily said, and she quoted. "Oh, thank you for the painting. But I told you I couldn't hang anything. You should've remembered. You should've got me a Save-A-Lot gift card instead."

Rose had snapped at her sister, unable to take it anymore. "Lily, do you always have to be so damn rude and ungrateful?!"

"I said thank you."

"No, you just gave me yet another backhanded insult! You've never genuinely thanked me once for anything I ever gave you! Furthermore, you keep thinking your 'gifts' are so damn so wonderful! Well, they are not! Giving someone rocks, shoelaces, hotel soap, and your ex-teacher bed sheets are entirely inappropriate and thoughtless!"

"Now, wait a minute!"

"No, I'm not finished! All your so-called gifts only show how little you care about your family!

It isn't very respectful! You couldn't honestly be bothered to spend a little money on the people you claim to love! I mean, rocks off the driveway? So you give that to our dad? How can you not realize how inconsiderate that is?!

Then giving me hotel soap and shoelaces? Geez! That sends the message you didn't care to get anything. So, consequently, you just yanked some stuff out of the junk drawer and called it a gift!

Finally, let's remember those stupid bedsheets! You blew money on new pillows for Mom and a relative we don't know! Except when it came to me? You again just got something you didn't have to pay for! Seriously! No one wants someone else old sheets! They are used and could have bedbugs! Do you ever think at all?"

Lily clenched her fists and launched into a tirade that no one could understand. Suddenly she finished her rant by smacking her sister across the face. In front of their parents, of all things! Rose stood there in shock. More then a fact, her sister struck her. But her parents didn't do anything to correct her sister's behavior!

Rose rubbed her cheek, which still stung her sister, striking her sometimes. Why couldn't she have a nice sister? Who considers others' feelings? That would listen when someone was trying to help her behave better? Whenever Rose attempted to talk to her sister about their relationship? Lily acted like she was speaking another language.

Even when she wrote it down straightforwardly, Lily denied she was abusive. She never took accountability for her actions. Instead, she would blame others. Next, she lied to people online, acting like she was the victim. Never bothering to mention she started it or what her actions had been.

She perched herself on her roof, crying. She didn't hear the sound of wings. She practically fell off the roof when her boyfriend, Jake Long, caught her. "Wow! Rose! It would be best if you were more careful!" he reminded her, pulling her back.

"Hi, Jake. Good to see you," she smiled, but Jake knew she was hurting. He wasn't her boyfriend for nothing. "Rose, talk to me. What's wrong? Come on, you can tell me."

"Its nothing, Jake."

"Rose."

Taking a deep breath, she let it out. "I'm not looking forward to my next birthday because of my sister. But, of course, the rest of our friends, Jake, are well aware of my sister's less-than-stellar behavior."

"Yeah, we've met more then once. It's actually the reason I came over."

"Really? Why?"

"I wondered if you'd like to have a magical birthday away from your sister this year."

"Magical? As in memorable or genuine magic?"

"Real magic. I'd have to pull a few strings and cash in a few favors. Nevertheless, in the end, I did it."

"Did what?"

"I got the magical community center to give us the building for the entire night! Therefore we can have one magical birthday with magical creatures and non-magic ones! One day just for you! Have a real birthday! Plus, Lily doesn't have to ruin it at all! Please say yes. As this a non-refundable offer."

She hugged him tightly while crying and planted a big kiss on his lips! "Yes! Thank you, Jake! Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome! Don't worry. This birthday will be one to remember!"

True to Jake's word, it was the first birthday in living memory that Rose could honestly say she enjoyed herself. After a lifetime of horrible birthdays, she finally had the best birthday gift. A happy birthday!

Notes:

Your short story has a strong emotional core, focusing on the strained relationship between Rose and her twin sister, Lily. Here are some thoughts and suggestions for improvement:

Character Development: Rose and Lily are well-defined characters with distinct personalities, but you might consider delving deeper into their motivations and backgrounds. Understanding why Lily behaves the way she does could add complexity to the story and make her actions more understandable, even if they remain hurtful.

Dialogue: Rose and Lily's dialogue effectively conveys their tension and frustration. However, you could vary the sentence structure and word choice to make it sound more natural and less repetitive.

Show, Don't Tell: Instead of explicitly stating Lily's disrespectful behavior, consider showing specific instances through action and dialogue. For example, you could write a scene depicting the incident rather than summarizing Lily's behavior at the Chinese restaurant.

 

Pacing: The story's pacing is generally good, but consider breaking up some of the longer paragraphs to improve readability and flow, particularly during the confrontation between Rose and Lily.

Resolution: The story's resolution is satisfying, with Jake's gesture providing Rose with a much-needed moment of happiness. However, you could explore the aftermath of Rose's decision to accept Jake's offer in more detail, showing how it affects her relationship with Lily and her overall outlook on life.

Overall, your story effectively captures the theme of familial conflict and the importance of finding moments of joy amid difficult circumstances. With some fine-tuning, it has the potential to be even more impactful and engaging. Keep up the good work!