Chapter Text
Ch 1
The two men sat on the cold rock floor waiting…….just as they had been for the past 3 days. Waiting either for the monster in the pool to get bored and leave them alone or for one of the others to mount a rescue party. To say there wasn’t much to do was overestimating things, Wei Ying would cook and talk and Lan Zhan would listen and sleep. All in all it was quite a monotonous time. Very little light came in through the small openings which where their only link to the outside, so these days had seemed as if they had been alone in their own world. And yet they still continued to sit and wait in silence.
Wei Ying laid his head back against the stone wall trying to get comfortable, he could tell by the small rays of light that it wasn’t night time yet but he simply didn’t care. Lan Zhan watched on with his normal impassive expression as Wei Ying stretched and spread out next to him. ‘I'm bored Lan Zhan, it seems like we have been here forever. By the time they get here they just find our bones’ Lan Zhan tried not to grimace, but he himself had been wondering the same thing over the past day or two. Would they get out of this alive? The chances where growing slimmer.
Lan Zhan glanced again over at Wei Ying who was now laid with his head on a rock and his eyes closed, he looked so innocent like this. Could he really allow himself to die here without telling Wei Ying how he felt? After all what did it matter if Wei Ying didn’t feel the same way, they were dying anyway, at least he would know. Before he could think about the many reasons why what he was about to do was a BAD idea, Lan Zhan leant forwards, covering the small space between himself and Wei Ying. Wei Ying’s eyes shot open as soon as a soft pair of lips met his own. He wasn’t a fool, there was only Lan Zhan in this cursed cave with him, but what on earth was he doing?
Frozen in place by the shock he could only stare into Lan Zhan’s eyes which were suddenly so close to his own that he could see the pupils change in size. His lips where beginning to tingle also as the pressure was increased, Lan Zhan was obviously taking his lack of response as permission to keep going. In all honesty though Wei Ying didn’t know if he was giving the permission or not. The kiss wasn’t uncomfortable, it was actually quite pleasant, but it was LAN ZHAN kissing him! Lan Zhan who was nothing short of a walking icicle!
Wei Ying’s brain was still tumbling at what exactly was happening. Should he push Lan Zhan away? Should he tease Lan Zhan by playing the same game?.........Should he……….Should………Oh hell he didn’t know……all he knew was that Lan Zhan’s warm palm on his neck was very distracting.
So distracting it seemed that a tongue found its way into his mouth and began playing with his own. A voice inside his head was yelling at him to stop this, that it was wrong to allow it to go on. But why wasn’t he! In the end Lan Zhan himself raised his head, breaking the connection. Slightly out of breath. The two men stared at each other, only inches apart, with an air of expectancy lingering in the air. Wei Ying didn’t know what to say and could only look back, how Lan Zhan took this was unknown but he immediately backed off as if hit and lowered his eyes to the floor.
Wei Ying hadn’t seen the proud and confident Lan Zhan look so hurt and unsure before, and he wasn’t sure what to say. Words whirled round in his head but each one was dis-guarded as not being right. The only time in his life when words failed him and one of the times he most needed them. Wei Ying instinctively reached out and lifted Lan Zhan’s chin with two of his fingers, feeling no resistance to the command. The complete compliance of Lan Zhan made his heart ache, this wasn’t how the man was supposed to act. ‘Lan Zhan’ he spoke quietly but Lan Zhan kept his eyes lowered and offered no response. In the end Wei Ying couldn’t take it anymore and without thinking lowered his own mouth to Lan Zhan’s.
This time it was Lan Zhan’s time to be amazed. He had expected, prepared himself, for many reactions from Wei Ying. Hatred, disgust, refusal, even being completely ignored. But this! Wei Ying was actually kissing him back! Lan Zhan’s hands automatically began to explore Wei WuXian’s neck, his back, his shoulders………..he was just about to explore the chest hidden beneath the robes when Wei Ying drew back, again breaking the connection. Lan Zhan paused a second in surprise before withdrawing his hands. He felt stupid, of course Wei Ying didn’t feel the same. A small smile rose to his lips though when he heard the quiet voice ‘Lan Zhan not too quickly, this is sudden……..and after all we still need our strength to get out of here’
A few months later Lan Zhan thought it might actually be possible to pace a hole in the floor of his JingShi. Wei Ying had been gone for 3 months now and although he had looked everywhere for him, no one seemed to have a clue where he was. For the past few months Wei Ying and himself had been spending more and more time together, night hunting, talking and even spending the occasional night in an inn. Their relationship had grown to the stage where they had even begun to share the same spaces, the same tables, the same cups, even the same bed. Although actually sleeping together was something that hadn’t been attempted yet. Now Wei Ying had vanished with no word from or about him for months, and Lan Zhan couldn’t take the not knowing much longer.
The other clans had asked him to join the fight against the Wen’s but he couldn’t concentrate enough to leave the Cloud Recess so his elder brother had gone in his place. Lan Xichen could tell something was wrong with his little brother but hadn’t been able to work out exactly what until the day Wei WuXian vanished. Then Lan Zhan was that worried he couldn’t keep the secret in anymore and told everything to his brother whilst making every effort not to break down. Surprisingly Lan Xichen had been very supportive and let Lan Zhan deal with the problem in his own way. Lan Zhan didn’t know if the disappearance had anything to do with that horrible day at Lotus Pier.
Wei Ying had invited him to go back with him and at first Lan Zhan had refused, but after a little cajoling, and a few pecks on the cheek, he had agreed. Wei Ying had gone ahead to tell his brother Jiang Chang and Madam and Master Jiang that he would be arriving in a few days. The day Lan Zhan had arrived however was either the best or worst time possible, depending on who you were. He had arrived at the gates of Lotus Pier expecting to see the warm smile of Wei Ying, but only saw the gates wide open and smelling the stench of blood coming from inside. To someone with Lan Zhan’s experience of the battlefield he knew instinctively that something had gone horribly wrong.
Walking slowly and carefully around the numerous bodies of the Yunmeng disciples had done nothing to lessen his gut feeling of apprehension. Something seriously bad had happened in this place…...but he couldn’t any of the Jiang family……...and he couldn’t see Wei Ying. A noise arose from the main hall which had caught his attention, but no matter how worried he was Lan Zhan knew not to just run into an unknown situation, he might become more of a liability than a help that way. Instead he sneaked round the large hall until he found one of the few windows and for once silently cursed the Gusu robes which weren't exactly designed for sneaking around in the dark. He had no further time to think about this though as the view in the hall was worse than he could have thought. Madam Jiang was stood in the centre of the room with two body guards behind her…….but the one sat on the lotus shaped seat on the dais wasnt Master Jiang……..it was Wen Chao’s latest girlfriend!……...the Wen’s had somehow taken over Lotus Pier.
The two women were staring at each other with a hatred he had learned only women where capable of, but that gave him the opportunity to look a little closer at the room. He found Jiang Chang kneeling on the floor to one side but……….there he was…...Wei Ying was laid on the ground obviously injured by something. Lan Zhan had almost decided to go in and help, after all he had Bichen and the element of surprise, when Wei Ying raised his head slightly and the two locked eyes. Wei Ying managed to slight shake his head before lowering it again to the ground, a simple gesture but one Lan Zhan understood well…...he was to stay where he was and not interfere.
Madam Jiang had eventually managed to get the injured Wei Ying and Jiang Chang out of the hall and into a boat but not without heavy pursuit. This had been something Lan Zhan had helped with, covering the retreat of the boat with Bichen. He had been determined no one was going to get close to Wei Ying, even as people approached with flaming arrows he cut them down without mercy. That was months ago though and Wei Ying and the others had disappeared to grieve since then, and now he found out the Wei Ying had vanished completely!
After one particularly bad night of pacing and no sleep Lan Zhan felt as if he might climb out of his skin if no news came soon. Fortunately it wasn’t long before a fire message arrived from Xichen simply stating ‘Wei Ying’s back, come here’. On the third reading of the message Lan Zhan’s heart finally resumed a normal rhythm and he immediately grabbed Bichen and almost ran out the Jingshi on his way to his brother’s location.
Wei Ying was there……….he was actually there……..and he looked alive and well……although somehow different. Wanji had only just landed at a small inn in the middle of nowhere when his gaze had landed on the black and red clad figure sitting on the steps outside. To one side of him stood Lan Xichun and a man Lan Zhan could only remember as Wei Ying’s brother. Both where speaking in hushed voices, looking worried, but Lan Zhan couldn’t care less about them right now. His attention was focused completely on Wei Ying.
Wei Ying looked tired and worn out but he was clean and tidy, wherever he had been the last few months obviously had not been too hard on him. Lan Zhan wasn’t sure if he should be happy about that realisation or more annoyed about the lack of communication over the last months. As if he knew he had arrived Wei Ying raised his head and their eyes locked for a moment. Months of worry unknowingly drained away from both their faces as each man refused to look away from the other as if scared he would disappear once again.
Both seemed to move at the same time, Lan Zhan moved forwards with more speed than grace just as Wei Ying shot to his feet. Neither of them cared about the other men around them as they embraced for the first time in months. Lan Zhan’s hands exploring Wei Ying’s back looking for any hidden injuries while Wei Ying hugged him just as hard as if for the reassurance he was actually there. Both men seemed to suddenly speak over each other.
‘Wei Ying your actually back’
‘Lan Zhan………’
‘Where have you been?’
‘I didn’t know if I would actually get to see you again’
‘I……….’
‘I know’
Lan Zhan withdrew a little until he could see the entirety of the face in front of him, the face he had feared he wouldn’t see again.
‘Come home with me…..’ He blurted out without thinking Wei Ying appeared shocked and stood still for a moment still staring at him. It was only when a voice appeared from the side of them that both men remembered they had an audience.
‘Why would my brother go to the Cloud Reccess? He’s coming back to Lotus Pier with his family’ The voice was from Wei Ying’s brother who had a grimace on his face as he spoke.
‘Jiang Chang’ Wei Ying moaned ‘be nice, Lan Zhan is just worried about me’ ‘And I wasn’t worried about you!’ Jiang Chang glowered harder and reached out to pull Wei Ying away from Lan Zhan. An action that might well have earned him a broken arm if he had succeeded, luckily though Wei Ying sidestepped the move and Jiang Chang carried on speaking
‘You made everyone worried these past few months. Yanli has been in tears thinking you were dead, so you are going to come home and explain exactly what happened to you.’ Lan Zhan didn’t care for Jiang Chang’s tone but as he looked once again at Wei Ying he knew he would return to Lotus Cove, just as he knew he was not going let him out of his sight again. Lan Zhan nodded slightly and a large smile crossed Wei Ying’s face before they both turned towards the others.
‘Fine’ Lan Zhan stated in his normal flat, cold tone ‘then I will join you’
‘Second Master Lan, with all respects this is a family problem and I haven't invited you’ came Jiang Chang’s sarcastic reply
‘But I have’ Wei Ying piped up ‘and he’s agreed so he’s coming with us’
Ch2
The time spent in the Lotus Pier was very relaxing for both of them. Of course they had separate rooms but that didn’t stop the servants and disciples from seeing junior Master Wei appearing to sneak away from Second Master Lan’s room after dark or early in the mornings. This was all considered silly and no one spoke of it.
Lan Zhan had smiled inwardly when they had arrived and Wei Ying’s elder sister had done away with all propriety and literally launched herself into his arms crying with relief. The hug he had returned was equally has clingy with tears running down his own face. Lan Zhan couldn’t help think that this is what a family should be like, and maybe this is what his own would have been like if not for the loss of his own mother.
Of course nothing ever lasts. Despite the two of them re-establishing their relationship and actually getting closer than they were before…...there were still downsides. Wei Ying spent a lot of time with his family, especially with his siblings. Lan Zhan could hardly say anything against that, after all he enjoyed spending time with his brother himself, however he did find that he was feeling more and more annoyed at the idea of Wei Ying spending time with his family away from him. The two would have course spend some time alone together down at the Pier or in some of Wei Ying’s favourite places, and Lan Zhan could begin to understand why Wei Ying loved his home so much. It was like the man, lively, full of fun and didn't seem to follow to many rules.
Of course it wasn't simply a vacation for Lan Zhan to Wei Ying’s childhood home, the whole of the Lotus Pier was still under reconstruction after the disaster that had claimed its previous clan leader. Jiang Cheng was still learning his role and the whole clan was still picking up the collective pieces.
One day Wei Ying and Lan Zhan were walking along the pier alone when Lan Zhan felt he had to mention something he had heard purely by accident the day before.
‘Wei Ying?’
‘huh? Yes?’ Wei Ying definitely seemed distracted today
‘I heard you and your brother arguing the other day…….I didn’t….’
‘I know you wouldn’t listen in on purpose Lan Zhan’ Wei Ying cut him off before he could finish his sentence ‘and Jiang Cheng was shouting so loudly I'm surprised half of Lotus Pier didn’t hear as well’ Wei Ying sighed almost to himself and then smiled a little as Lan Zhan slid his hand into his.
‘He doesn’t think I’m doing enough to help’ Wei Ying continued as Lan Zhan squeezed his hand supportively. ‘he thinks ‘I'm just playing around all-day and not helping……...but he doesn't know…...’ Wei Ying’s voice dropped off as he descended into silence. Lan Zhan noticed the two long pauses before the end of the sentence and tried to probe a little deeper.
‘He doesn't know what’
‘Nothing!’
That was a definite shutting of the door on that topic and Lan Zhan knew better than to try and push things with Wei Ying in this kind of mood. Instead the two wondered on a little longer in silence, but something had definitely changed in the atmosphere around them. Lan Zhan wanted to lift there still joined hands to kiss Wei Ying’s palm in a gesture of comfort, but something told him such a thing would not be welcome at the moment.
Unknown to Lan Zhan, Wei Ying probably wouldn't have noticed one way or the other. He had drifted into memories of pain and heartache that no one else would possibly be able to understand. Pain of losing the only parents he had ever know. Pain of seeing his only brother in such despair when he found he lost his golden core. The pure agony of the days and night lying on the cold mountain has his own golden core was ripped away from him piece by slow piece. The pain of failing to rebuild what was lost, for failing his siblings, for failing everyone even the man he loved……….The pain of being useless and no good. All this Wei Ying had to keep inside, keep to himself…….after all there were still those stupid enough to actually still care about him.
Another gentle squeeze on his hand snapped Wei Ying out of his melancholy thoughts……..one of those foolish people was with him right now…..holding his hand…..supporting him. He couldn’t cave into to self pity. Not because it would be letting himself down but because it would be letting Lan Zhan down!
That night as Wei Ying laid on Lan Zhan’s bed next to him he reminded himself of the promise he had made that day. Lan Zhan was fast asleep, as it was past 9 in the evening, but his arms where protectively wrapped around Wei Ying, one around his shoulder and the other fisted in the material of his outer robes. Whenever both men shared a bed they still kept both inner and outer robes on, and Wei Ying never stayed the whole night, but somehow it seemed to relax both of them. ‘Yes’ Wei Ying told himself once again ‘he wouldn't let Lan Zhan down’
A few days later everyone was invited to a conference concerning the Sunshot campaign. To be honest everyone at Lotus Pier had been a living in a little bubble for a few weeks and actually forgot there was a war raging around them so the invitation to the meeting came as a little bit of a shock. Not as much of a shock though as when Lan Zhan, a well known jade of Lan, appeared alongside Wei Ying with the Yunmeng group. Lan XiChen of course had known were he had been and expected the arrival but for everyone else it seemed to be a cause of complete confusion.