Chapter Text
(Y/N): Where tf is my computer
Shouta: Your computer is at your desk.
(Y/N): You know what I meant dickhead
Shouta: watch your language
(Y/N): I spelled it right, dickhead
Shouta: You have no idea what’s coming to you, do you?
(Y/N): Hopefully my FUCKING COMPUTER
Shouta: I’m giving you money for a new one when I get back. Be patient.
(Y/N): ??? TF are you talking about
Shouta: That is, if you took your nap like a good girl
(Y/N): WAIT YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS???
Shouta: Yes?
(Y/N): W T F
Shouta: You thought I was Joking?
(Y/N): In my defense, you did say that after joking about spanking me lol
Shouta: That wasn’t a joke either.
(Y/N): You couldn’t spank me if you tried, and I can’t accept money for taking a nap that’s dumb
Shouta: I can, and you will.
(Y/N): Uh, no?
Shouta: Excuse me?
(Y/N): I’m not accepting money from you, I have a job.
Shouta: We’ll see.
(Y/N): Tf does that mean?
Shouta: It means we’ll see, shouldn’t you be studying?
(Y/N): Yes, and I’m at the laundromat. Multitasking.
Shouta: Why?
(Y/N): Because just sitting here literally watching clothes dry is super boring unless ur high as shit.
Shouta: Language, little one. I meant why are you at a laundromat. Can’t you go to your parents?
(Y/N): Oh I absolutely could, but then I’d have to get there and they’re like a 2 hour train ride away.
Shouta: Do you have a licence? Driving may be faster.
(Y/N): Never needed one. Japan has an amazing public transport system.
Shouta: You need to be able to drive. It’s an important life skill.
(Y/N): Meh, lotta work for spending money on a thing I don’t need.
Shouta: There’s still two hours until I get off of work, is there anything you’d like me to pick up food-wise before you go to class?
(Y/N): I was told to feed myself. I had a big bag of skittles. For whatever reason, I can’t get the Lemon flavor of those things down, my copy always kind of tastes more like the lemon sour candies.
Shouta: That is NOT a meal. When was the last time you ate a vegetable?
(Y/N): Why the fuck would I eat a vegetable?
Shouta: Language. You’re going to get yourself sick. Why would you even care when you could make it taste like anything?
(Y/N): produce is expensive and it goes bad fast. Ramen and candy has like an infinite shelf life and is cheap
Shouta: That is not an excuse. I’m bringing a real meal when I pick you up.
(Y/N): whatever you say, Sho.
Shouta glared down at his phone, and Yamada slid close.
“Texing the barista on your lunch break? Damn man she’s already got you whipped huh? She probably does that thing you like with her tongue…” Hizashi teased, bumping Shouta’s ribs with his elbow.
“I’m not having sex with her.” Shouta growled, shoving his friend back. “She’s… well…” Shouta trailed off, and swallowed. What WERE you to him? Nothing he could tell Hizashi, that’s for sure, he would never hear the end of it.
“Well, you did spend the night with her right? What’d ya’ll do? And don’t tell me you just talked because not even you could be that fucking lame.” Mic chuckled, and Shouta exhaled harshly from his nose.
“She made me hold her snake.” Shouta offered.
“Oh wait did She fuck YOU? I thought you didn’t bottom?” Hizashi questioned, and Shouta pinched the bridge of his nose.
“A literal snake. An Animal you idiot.” Shouta clarified, and shook his head. “I’m not going to have sex with her.” He repeated this outright lie.
“Oh, you mean… not yet. Better hurry up, man I’m tellin’ ya, cute little thing like that ain’t on the market for long.” Mic warned, and smirked. “I was thinkin’ of goin to the cafe tonight and seein’ if I can get a little sugar in my coffee if you know what I mean.” Shouta’s eyes flashed over to Hizashi’s quirk activated. “Hey- hey I’m JOKING- c’mon man we’ve been besties for over a decade I can tell when you’re into a honey. Wouldn’t get in your way even if she was the hottest chick in the world.” Hizashi chuckled, patting Shouta’s back.
“Hiz, do you remember last summer with that girl… what was her name? The one you were dating?” Shouta started, and Hizashi smirked, already knowing where this was going.
“Angel? Oh yeah. Young and pretty. We aren’t really dating though. She’s my sugar baby.” Hizashi said freely, and took a sip of his soda
Hizashi smirked before he asked, “Is that what (Y/N) is to you?” Shouta sputtered at that, and realized he’d been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
“Aren’t you just stringing her along at this point though?” Shouta asked, hardly interested.
“Angel knows where she stands. I’m not big into commitment. She can leave whenever she wants.” Yamada shrugged. “Back to you though, If you need pointers on how to keep them in line, I’ve got you. Last thing any of us needs is some eighteen-year-old releasing our kinks to the press.” Hizashi sat back, and stretched.
“Wait- I thought you said she was twenty-five?” Shouta squinted at his friend, who gave him a wry smile and shrugged.
“She’s Eighteen, but you’re such a prude I knew you wouldn’t have agreed to try it if you knew. You needed a little TLC after that bullshit breakup with Emi.” Hizashi patted Shouta’s back.
“You really are the fucking worst, Yamada.” Shouta glowered, and looked away.
“But ya love me. Anyway, This girl- her quirk seemed pretty damn powerful if she took those two dudes down with a nap. My Angel is only really good for making people feel good, so I don’t really have much experience on taming that kind of brat.” Hizashi shrugged.
“How did you know she was a brat?” Shouta questioned, looking up from the table to catch his friend’s eye.
“Man- look at the way she STANDS- hip all popped, chest out- and that wry little smile she gives you when you argue, not to mention the way her eyes go all half-lidded and hazy when you give her an order that she doesn’t plan on following. Textbook brat. Also, she’s exactly your type so…” Hizashi snorted. “You got your work cut out with you with that one, Sho. Good fuckin’ luck.”