Chapter Text
Alec stood legs locking in place, motionless. Shallow breaths aching against his chest as it got harder to breathe. He couldn’t process that what he was seeing was real. The pungent air around him making the bile in his stomach ache for release. It was dark, almost midnight, nothing but the moonlight in the dark alley behind the bar. He’d come to get his earnings for the week when he was distracted by the sounds of a struggle. What he found wasn’t what he was expecting.
Two people were struggling in the alley, one man had the other pinned, he couldn’t just stand there, could he? He could run away? He wanted to run, to sprint and pretend he never saw it, but something felt off, a charge to the air like it was more than just a fight.
Panic racing its way to his lungs, chest, and heart. Any and every pulse in his body going at the speed of light. If he ran his conscious would never let him forget it. Taking a deep breath and a prayer to whoever was meant to be watching over him he took a tentative step forward. Not knowing what to say he yelled, “Hey!” which got their attention. His heart rate spiked, there was no going back now.
Both the men turned their heads snapping in Alec’s direction. On closer inspection, he recognised the man pinned down. His co-worker and friend, Theo. He saw the look he gave him, pleading, but not for help, but to run. “Alec, you shouldn’t be here, go.”
He needed to do something, but he didn’t know what. He’d never been a situation like this and he was fucking lost.
“Alec, I’m serious,” Theo said again through gritted teeth like he was using all his strength to keep something away.
That was when he saw it, the other man had a gun, and Theo was trying to stop himself from getting shot. The other man taking advantage as Theo looked to Alec, his focus wavering slightly he knocked his hand free and pistol-whipped him around the head knocking him out completely. That’s when everything truly turned upside down and adrenaline kicked in, the other man held the gun to Theo’s head and shot. A loud bang ringing through his ears. Time slowed as he saw the blood splatter back on to the other man's face, his expression stone-cold, like he didn’t just kill a human, a man, his friend. Alec wanted to be sick. He’d just stood there while he shot his friend in cold blood.
Alec didn’t see it until a second later like his mind was running at a 5-second delay. The gun was now pointed at him. He was going to die.
He’d never truly understood what seeing your life flash before your eyes meant until right now. His brother and sisters, his parents, his friends. He was never going to see them again. He hadn’t made a life for himself yet, he’d gone through 3 years of teacher’s college for nothing. He’d never see his dreams or his siblings’ dreams come to fruition. His little sister Harper, she was only 7, he would never see her grow up into the smart, brilliant women he knew she would be, he wouldn’t be at Izzy and Simon’s wedding next year, he wouldn’t be anywhere, because he was going to die at the age of 25.
Unless he fought for his life. If he was going to die, he may as well die trying to survive and not cowering in the corner covering his eyes.
Ducking out of the line of the gun he ran the last remaining steps toward the man, not knowing where the speed or force came from, he knocked the other man to the ground. Reaching for the man's wrist struggling to pull the gun loose, but his grip was unbreakable.
Everything that happened next was a blur, a shot rang out and Alec’s heart stopped, anticipating blood to start soaking through his clothes and cling to his chest. But it never came.
The man’s eyes beneath him went wide with shock, blood spluttering from his mouth on to Alec’s cheek, he felt the blood cling to his eyelashes, and scatter across his mouth. The metallic smell etching its way up to his nose. A cold sweat cascaded down his back, he was going to be sick, but somehow held it back. He stayed crouching over the man watching the life drain from his eyes. The man heaved one final breath until his eyes drained completely and his chest went still. He’d just killed a man.
Looking to his right he saw Theo laying lifeless, his friend, a big red bullet hole in the centre of his forehead. His eyes were still open, the shock still in his eyes. Finding what little functionality he had left, Alec closed his friends’ eyes before quickly standing up and witnessing the mess below with a birds-eye view. Blood, it was everywhere, on the ground, on the two men lying dead, on himself. The smell of death still fresh on his face.
Running to the brick wall of the alley he hunched over retching loudly as the contents of his stomach came to the surface. A cold sweat broke out above his brow bone, his head dizzy, swaying on his feet. He was going to pass out.
One hand on the wall his head hanging he coughed, gagging as he felt drips of sweat slide over his lips mixed with the other man’s blood. He needed to get out of here. He needed to clean his face, throw away his clothes and the memory of today.
He looked to Theo one last time, how was it fair that he came out of this alive, and he was dead. He should have moved quicker, thought quicker, maybe then they would both be alive. Remembering the haunted look he saw in Theo’s eyes, just laying there lifeless and limp would follow him for life. This whole night would chase him in his dreams.
“Oi, you!” Someone yelled catching Alec’s attention, his brain alert. Adrenaline seeping back into his veins. He knew how this looked. Like he killed them both.
Alec did what he only knew he could, he ran.
“Stop,” Alec took one glance back and saw there was two of them, both with guns in hands. Fucksake could people stop pulling guns on him? He’d had enough for a lifetime.
Alec didn’t stop, in fact, he sprinted for his life when he realised the other men were with the man he’d shot.
He ran until his legs ached and his chest heaved, he ignored the strange looks people gave him as he ran through the dark streets. Thankful it was night-time, there weren’t many people out. He ran until he found the nearest police station. Stumbling through the doors his legs gave out, he wanted to cry, yell, puke, curl up on the floor and wish this nightmare away.
Two policemen ran to him. “Sir, are you okay?” Did he look fucking okay?
“I need-“ He gasped struggling to find the words. It was admitting what he just saw, making it real, not some weird hallucination his brain had concocted to play games with him. “I need to report a crime.”
…………….
When Luke was rudely awoken in the middle of the night from his precinct, he rushed into the station to see what all the fuss was about. Little did he know it was extremely serious.
He’d been sitting in front of the man still covered in blood. Why anyone hadn't bagged them for evidence and offered him some clean clothes yet, he didn't know? It’d been over an hour and the man still hadn’t talked, his eyes were vacant, distant. It was clear to Luke that he had suffered severe trauma, but he was the only witness to the crime, and they needed answers. Firstly, his name. Not wanting to push too hard he proceeded to try again. “Sir, I know it's been a rough night, but we need to know your name? Do you have a wallet on you, any form of ID we could see for verification?”
The other man finally looked to him, his eyes wide but still empty giving Luke an unsettled feeling. “Alec,” The man paused his voice void of any emotion like he’d cut the chord inside his brain. “Lightwood.”
He would take that for now and come back later and try again for the rest, “I’ll be back,” He said. “I’m going to get you some clean clothes and something to wipe your face after someone comes in and takes some swaps.” Alec nodded his gaze on the table.
Leaving the interrogation room Luke heaved a sigh, whatever this was it was messy.
“Chief, I have some new information from the officers on the scene.” Officer Penhallow said coming up beside him.
“Let’s talk in my office,” Once situated inside he sat down feeling the weight of the situation sit on his shoulders “What is it, Penhallow?”
“We’ve identified the victims.” She said a grim look on her face. “The first victim is believed to be Theo Smith, a co-worker of Alec’s who worked at the bar.”
“And the second?”
She let a heavy sigh slip, “Jonathan Morgenstern, Lilith’s son.”
Luke stayed silent, his mind turning. This wasn’t good.
“You know what this means Chief?”
“Yes, just give me a minute, this kind of thing is never easy to handle.” He paused his thoughts mulling. “While we wait for more answers please organise someone to bag Alec’s clothes for evidence and bring him some clean fresh ones, it’s the least we can do,”
“Yes, Chief, right away.”
…………………..
Alec wasn’t sure how long it had been, an hour, a day, time didn’t feel real anymore.
Someone had come in and given him new clothes, and cleaned his face, he thought he would feel better, it didn’t make much of a difference. The only thing that stopped was the sick feeling in his stomach from the smell of dried blood. He continued to stare blankly at the table his fingers clasped together waiting, for what, he didn’t know.
“Alright, Alec,” The same man from before startled him sitting across from him, he didn’t even hear him come in. “I know this is tough, but we need answers, we know there are two victims and we know you were involved, we just need to know what happened so we can help you as well as us.”
Alec just wanted it to be over, so he told him everything from start to finish. The man left again, and someone else came back, he signed something, drank something, he couldn’t eat. Finally, the man who had been questioning him came back in. He couldn’t remember if he had told him his name or not, everything felt slow, not real. The information didn’t stick. Like anything about this night his brain automatically wanted to forget.
From the frown on the man's face he knew whatever he was going to say wasn’t good. He was going to jail, surely. He killed a man.
“Alec, I need to know if you are listening to me?” He asked. Alec nodded. “Good, because what I’m about to tell you, it isn’t easy.” This whole night hadn't been easy. “It would appear your friend Theo got himself involved with some bad people. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of her but Lilith is one of the most notorious and most wanted crime leaders in New York. We’ve been trying to get her for years, on countless murder and drug charges but nothing ever sticks. It would seem the man you shot tonight, wasn’t just anyone of her crew, but her son.”
Alec blanched all remaining colour draining from his face.
“And from what you told us, some of her crew saw you as you ran away, is that correct?”
Alec nodded, his heart beginning to race again. He was back there all over again.
“Alec, I need you to look at me,”
He did and he saw the Chief's brown eyes looking back at him, heavy with concern, and a hint of exhaustion.
“You can’t go back home,”
That’s when it dawned on him, the danger he’d put his family in. Fighting back the tears he said, “My family,”
“It’s okay, they’re safe we’ve moved them to a safe house, we aren’t going to let anything happen to them.”
“Can I see them?” He asked. Desperate for some form of comfort.
The Chief shook his head. “I’m sorry, that can’t happen. We can’t risk it.”
“Not even to say goodbye?”
“I’m sorry Alec, you’re in witness protection now. I’m not going to sugar coat it. It could be years until you see them again.” He could see the pity in the chief’s eyes, see the sorrow. It was nothing to how Alec felt. His whole world had just been tipped upside down, he had no one. He was alone.
The nights' events all rushed to the surface at once, his emotions consuming him, the trauma, the grief, not only for his friend but for his family now too. He broke down, crying into his hands.