Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Takashi was hopeful that for once things would turn out alright. That he wouldn't have to be alone anymore, no matter how much he lied to himself. The truth was.

He was awfully lonely.

But these people had chosen him.

No one had ever picked him.

Maybe things would be different? He'd know when he left the hospital to live with them. But for now, he was getting to know Touko and Shigeru little by little. He learned that Touko has a crow that she considers her friend. That she likes parsley and tea. 

He's learned that Shigeru is very hard worker and appreciates the little things in life like sitting outside with Touko and going out with Touko. He learned that just recently they had gone to the aquarium.

One day he too would like to go on a family trip.

He learned that they'd been married over thirty years. It was reliable to hear that. Many of his relatives had been married for so little time.

He told them that he didn't have a favorite food. He didn't have a particular favorite color. He didn't have any ambitions. No goals or dreams.

It disheartened them. He didn't know what to say to them. No one ever wanted to talk to him. Get to know him enough to hear about that type of stuff. It wasn't until he's spoken with them that he realized how empty and bleak his future was. It's not like he really cared either.

Something about his apathy to his future changed them. They went from being soft and careful with him, to patient and generous. Brushing his silver hair out of his face. Resting weathered hands along his shoulders, or arms. Always within a certain distance, making sure he was aware and comfortable with their gentle, loving touches.

It's a new experience.

Different.

Exhilarating.

Frightening.

The Fujiwara's came everyday for the whole week he spent in the hospital. 

On the last day, his belongings were placed into his room while he's slept. It stung a little to be abandoned like this. It wasn't the first time, partings and new beginnings had always been difficult. Each one differing, most all of them painful. For once he wanted to know if he had been more than a simple unwanted visitor. Sometimes this type of parting hurt the most. It was as if he didn't exist.

It was terribly lonely.

A carefully folded the torn paper and tucked it onto his box caught his attention. There was a short note from Shinji, it looked hastily written. 

'I'm sorry for everything Takashi. I hope you find happiness with the Fujiwaras. Stay safe.

And if you find yourself in need of anything don't hesitate to call me. xxx-xxx-xxxx Karasu, Shinji.'

Shinji had been nice. This was the first time, that someone had shown a sign that he'd existed. That they'd cared enough to leave a sign to show that he had been more than a simple footprint.

Whenever he was around he softened the edges of his parents, keeping their attention away from Takashi. Providing him equal opportunity as him to eat. 

A knock at the door startled him from his thoughts. He quickly made his way back to his bed and smoothed down the wrinkles in his shirt. His bandages had already been changed, and medications as well as instructions on how to take care of his injuries had been given to his new caretakers. It made him slightly nervous to have something so simple out of his control.

Last time had ended with his cousin addicted to opioids, and the blame had been lain on his shoulders.

"Takashi?" Takashi stilled. Had he already done something wrong? He looked down at his bandaged hands folded neatly atop his lap and waited with his heart thundering in his ears.

Touko shared a look with Shigeru before calling out softly once more in apology as she opened the door. Takashi was pale, sitting ramrod straight with his hands folded neatly on his lap. Three boxes stacked neatly by the bed. No relatives in sight. No sign that Takashi had been afforded a decent goodbye. 

Had he meant so little to them?

Touko felt her chest burn, but the unnaturally tense posture Takashi had adopted stayed her temper. 

"May we come in Takashi?" Shigeru asked squeezing her hand with understanding. Takashi jerkily nodded his head as he pushed himself off the bed wobbling slightly as he kept one leg off the floor. Touko resisted the urge to rush forward and instead crept closer until Takashi looked in her direction. 

He didn't meet her gaze, not like he did when they had first met or when he'd pleaded to live with them. She was okay with this, with keeping whatever boundaries he set up. She wanted to go at a pace that he was comfortable with. She wanted to give, give, give him all the love he'd been denied.

"Are you ready to come live with us Takashi?" She queries softly extending her hand for him to grab hold of. He nods his head shying back a little. Shigeru appeared at her side with a wheelchair.

"The doctor should be arriving shortly with your release papers." Takashi looked in his directions, lips parted as if to speak but ultimately remained silent. Touko shuffled forward and gestured for Takashi to sit back down until the doctor arrived.

"Are you hungry? Your face is a little pale, are you in any pain?" She asked reaching into her purse for his medicine when Takashi made an abortive hand gesture. She paused, bending down a little to peer at his bowed face. He looked frightened. She peered over her shoulder at Shigeru who had a pinched look on his face. Her heart gave a small jolt as she recalled one of his relatives complaining about opioid addiction.

"You don't have to take anything that you don't want to." He looked faintly relieved as he nodded in her direction.

Once he was bundled into the car, his belongings loaded into the trunk, they drove off. Takashi didn't once raise his head to look out the window. It made her heart weep at the resignation he wore like a familiar cloak. She had to stop herself many times from reaching out and grabbing hold of his folded hands. He didn't fidget as she heard many children often did.

His gaze is distant.

As if he is miles away.

Touko wondered if he really wanted to live with them. She doesn't know how many homes he's lived in. What she does know is that each and every single one of them have failed him.

Have abandoned him.

Neglected him.

Abused him.

Had given up on him. 

She recalls the low simmer of fury in her belly when Shigeru had dug up paperwork from an orphanage. The bright red ink condemning him to return with hateful and cruel people.

"Takashi-kun?" She called softly, gingerly moving to catch hold of his hand. He looked at her, no, he looked through her with a blank smile. Eyes shut as if to shut her out. His cool hand trembled faintly in hers.

"I hope we can give you the home you've been searching for." She whispered, wishing that she could reassure him that they would love him. That they would treasure him for as long as he allowed them into his life.

His smile wilted, eyes growing more distant as he tipped his head in acknowledgement as he looked away from her. It made her heart clench as she realized that he'd probably heard empty promises like this before. 

She wonders if they can help this lost weary soul with eyes like frosted glass. They won't give up on him like everyone else had. Even if he remains broken forever, she and Shigeru would treat him like the precious gift that he was. 

Because he was a precious gift. Their weary looking bundle of joy. Tarnished or cracked, they'd love this child forever.

Shigeru parked the car and looked behind him to see Takashi sleeping. Touko lovingly holding his hand, keeping him hemmed to her side with a soft knitted blanket. It brought warmth to him to see how smitten she was with him.

 He hopes that they can give Takashi the space he needed to recuperate from the burdens of his past.

"I'll bring his belongings in first." Shigeru spoke softly, Touko nodded her head as she ran her fingers through Takashi's silver hair. He absently thought about trimming his hair but decided to wait until Takashi was settled in more before bringing it up. He had far too many decisions made for him in his short life, maybe making some of his own would help him take back some form of control.

Shigeru hefted Takashi into his arms and frowned at how light he was. Didn't fourteen year olds weigh more than this? He put it out of his mind not wanting to worry Touko anymore than she already was. 

"I'lI get started on a late lunch." She said rolling up her sleeves with a glint in her eyes. Shigeru absently called over his shoulder to make something with meat as he made sure Takashi wouldn't slip.

He had just set him down when Takashi began to frown. He ran his fingers through Takashi's silver spun hair until the frown smoothened out.

"We're going to take care of you from now on. You don't have to feel afraid anymore." He murmured softly as he adjusted the blanket. He rose to his feet and exited the room, pausing once to make sure Takashi was safe and sound before slipping out of the room.

"We'll have to schedule another doctor's appointment to get a clearer picture of his health. And finish enrolling him in school." Touko hummed softly under her breath as she nodded in agreement. She carefully opened the letters that had overfilled their mail box.

"And we have to track down his birth certificate. Tachibana-san was the last known official carrier and he is willing to help us track it down." Shigeru continued after a moment, quietly accepting the letters from relatives that had various paperwork  from taking Takashi in. It filled him with equal amounts of fury and remorse that so many of his relatives had taken this lost youth in and failed him so badly. Had been in such a hurry to rid themselves of him that they left a wide papertrail of where he'd  lived. Osaka, Kyoto, Okinawa, Nagano and Tokyo, being some of the places he'd stayed the longest. Then there were the letters that had more information coming from prefectures like Gunma, Tokushima, Saitama, Eihime and even Tottori. Shigeru hadn't even know he had relatives there.

"It's going to be different from now on." Shigeru promised  solemnly as he looked over the incomplete school records spread out before him. Touko meanwhile was taking notes of the hospitalization papers forwarded to them. He could see her writing down anemia, fainting, prone to illness, and mental illness with a question mark beside it and left her to it. 

They were not going to fail Takashi. 

It would be a steep learning curve for them all, but he was sure they'd all be able to make it work. 

Chapter Text

Takashi was slow to wake, he tends to be sluggish when he's injured. But this was more sluggish than usual, had been since he sealed- 

The Fujiwaras!

He bolted upright, the room briefly spun, he held a hand to his head as he breathed in and out until the dizzy spell passed. Slowly opening his eyes once the sensation had stopped he peersvup at the room at large. It was empty save for his belongings.

He had his own room?

Takashi bit his lip as he nervously fiddles with his bangs. He tidies up the room and makes his way out of the room, keeping silent he makes his way down a set of stairs. He struggles with each step to remain silent, vigilant against even the slightest gasp of pain escaping him.

He warily peers around, nervously shuffling towards the mouth watering smells wafting out of one room.

The kitchen?

He pauses before he can step into view, he can hear the Fujiwara couple speaking softly to one another.

"We should take Takashi shopping when he's a little stronger and can handle the journey." That was Shigeru-san.

"That's a wonderful idea, he can decorate his room how he likes. Oh, what if he doesn't want to decorate his room?" Touko-san asked fretfully, Takashi felt a pinch of guilt as he eavesdropped.

But he's learned a lot over the years.

He's learned that the first meeting held when he's moved in with new relatives sets the tone for the rest of his stay.

How much they complain.

How much they whisper or yell.

And even the silences all spoke about what type of treatment he should expect.

Some didn't care and had the conversations right in front of him.

Those relatives made his stay relatively short and ignored him to the point that he was basically a piece of furniture. He didn't like it but those were the safest relatives to stay with. The easiest to please and the most upfront about everything.

"I should go check on him, he might be confused about waking up in a strange place." Shigeru-san says abruptly, he quickly backs away as quietly as he can.

It was never pleasant when he was caught listening in on private conversations.

"Ah, Takashi." His heart pounds violently in his chest, Shigeru-san smiles at him, it's warm.

"I was just about to come get you." Shigeru-san didn't move towards him, his posture loose and open, his palms resting lightly against his thighs.

"Thank you for letting me into your home." Takashi bows, waiting anxiously for something.

A sign that it was okay to rise.

Or that he's already outstayed his welcome.

But nothing happens, there is no reprimand, no barked order that he was only staying until they could find someone else to take him. No movement to drag him back to the room he was staying in because he had disobeyed a rule.

"Takashi?" he almost looks, but manages to keep his head bowed before he fully glances up. He'd fallen for that once, he wouldn't fall for it again.

"There's no need for that, this is your home too." Takashi doesn't know if he should trust those words. Not when he's only heard those words twice before and still ended up moving because he'd overstayed his welcome.

Shigeru-san's hand felt kind.

He doesn't remember the last time he has felt a kind touch like this, not since he first ran into Touko-san.

Takashi was fourteen years old.

Fourteen short years on this earth, and he learned all the wrong lessons in life. He knows that he's learned each and every one of them the hard way.

"Are you in any pain? Shigeru asks softly as he carefully raises Takashi from his bowed position, wanting to know just who taught him that he had to bow so low for being taken into a family. Being made to feel subservient to those who were being entrusted with his care.

No one should ever make a child feel so small for basic necessities or human decency.

"No." he utters softly, head bowed as he follows Shigeru into the kitchen like a pale silent shadow. It's unsettling how silent he is, how much pain he must be in as he limps after walking down a flight of stairs. Would they ever hear him make noise?

"Shigeru? Ah! Takashi-kun! Sit, sit." Touko fusses over their new ward with a nervousness to her as Shigeru pulls out a chair for Takashi to sit in. Shigeru sees the way his eyes briefly flicker over the scattered papers on the table and how his hands clench around the sleeves of his shirt as his shoulders fold inwards. Touko misses it as she makes her way to the stove to reheat some of the food she had made.

"We will need to finish enrolling you in school but it can wait until after you've healed up." his mouth parts and for a moment Shigeru believes that he will speak but in the end he does not, simply nods his head. His heart clenches as he realizes how many times Takashi has had decisions made for him without his input and vows to include him in their decisions for little things as well as big things.

"Is that alright with you?" Takashi stills, hesitantly raising his head a little to peer up at Shigeru through his long bangs, Touko catches his eye but says nothing as she bustles over with food and water for Takashi. Shigeru slowly gathers up all the papers, giving Takashi time to ask questions without being made to feel pressured. 

Takashi bites his lips, shrugging one shoulder as his hands unclench from his sleeves, folding them in his lap as he lowers his gaze to the table at the food Touko has laid out before him. Touko watches him with helpless frustration in her eyes, sorrow lines her mouth as they try to figure out what boundaries Takashi has when he does not speak. 

Shigeru remembers the small kernel of information Karasu, Shinji had given to them when they had first gone to see Takashi in the hospital.

"Sometimes he doesn't talk, don't push him." he looks at Takashi with deep sorrow in his eyes. "I don't think he ever had a good home, but I tried my best."

A literal teenager had tried to parent his younger cousin when his parents did not even give Takashi a chance. 

"Take all the time you need, we are in no rush." he tells him softly, Touko meets his eyes with a nod as she sets more plates at the table just as Shigeru has finished setting all the papers aside.

They have their first family lunch, it's quiet, and more than a little tense on Takashi's side but he wouldn't trade it for the world. Not when it means that Takashi is here with them and safer than he's been in a long time. It would just take him a little while to realize that they meant him no harm.

It's nearly four days later when Takashi asks them a question. It comes out of nowhere, and were it not for the fact that he was keeping an ear out for him that he might have missed it.

"Can I go out?" Shigeru looks up from the trauma books he and Touko had purchased a few days back. His was about boundaries, consent and respect while the one Touko was reading was a guide for kids who experienced trauma. 

Takashi fidgets, hands curling and uncurling into his sleeves as he peers at them through his bangs as if to hide from them. He looked like a frightened child, afraid to see the world for it was a cruel place.

"Of course, be sure to let us know when you are going out and try to be back before dark." He wonders if he should follow, but the tense line in Takashi's shoulders eases when he makes no move to follow. He worries that it's too early for Takashi to be moving about with the injuries that he has, but he and Touko have noticed how restless he was. How cooped up he must feel to be with them, when he is afraid and full of distrust.

It makes him wonder about the habits that he's developed to cope with everything. Twice Touko ran into him late at night when he was out running in cold weather before they had taken him in.

"Let us know if you want either of us to come along, or ask any of the neighbors around to call us if you get tired." Touko tells him softly as she sets her book down, Takashi nods his head and slowly limps out of the room.

Her face falls when he exits the room and neither of them talk until they hear the soft soft of the door closing, even then the sound is so soft that Shigeru rises to his feet to check that it was actually Takashi leaving.

"He's so quiet." she whispers behind him as they watch him slowly limp down the road. "No child should ever be this quiet." her eyes are worried but more than that, they are filled with sorrow.

"It'll take him some time to feel safe with us, we just need to keep showing him that we will not hurt him." He wonders a bit darkly, if that would be enough. Some forms of abuse were emotional, or neglectful. 

"He has another doctor appointment tomorrow." She says softly as they make their way back to the day room, her eyes move to the bottle of pills left untouched on the small table. The place where Takashi had set them down when she had handed them to him on the second day so that he could feel reassured that they would not take his medicine nor deprive him of it should he need it. It seemed to reassure him that it was left untouched even if he never picked it up to take any.

It was worrying how he went about without the medication, from what the doctors had said, they made it seem as if he would be in terrible pain without it. They hadn't even wanted to prescribe him such a strong dose but there were concerns raised that the pain would keep him up, making it so that he could barely move. And yet Takashi showed no signs of feeling such pain. Maybe he winced occasionally and moved slowly during the early hours of the day but he never once complained.

Touko fretfully wondered if he was afraid to complain for fear of going unheard.

"If he's amendable to it, i'd like to see about scheduling him an appointment with Murasaki-sensei." Shigeru hums thoughtfully at that. While the stigma for therapy was no longer so harsh and condemning, Takashi was leery of people in general and might see this as an attempt to get rid of him. He didn't want that, not after seeing all the places that Takashi has lived and hardly left a sign that he had even been there for very long.

"At this stage I don't believe it would be a good idea. I believe that we could start him on a scrapbook journal, just like the cousin I used to live with did in her free time." He can still remember the look in her eyes, it was like frosted glass, Takashi had a similar look in his eyes. The same silver spun hair and history that she did. Drifting from one relative to the next, untethered and alone.

"We'll be his safe space." He vows, his promise aimed towards Takashi as much as it was to his previous cousin. Takashi would not end up the way that she had, they would show him that he was worth love and effort, that he was family.

Touko grasps his hand gently squeezing it in hers as she nods her head with a determined glint in her eyes.

"I'll start looking through some of our old things, we can make it a family activity." she says cheerfully, he wonders how he got so lucky with marrying her.

"I love you." he tells her softly, her cheeks turn a light shade of pink as she smiles up at him.

"Shigeru." she says, and he can hear the 'i love you' in his name as they make their way to the storage to sift through their belongings. Family activities were a good way to bond with their new ward.