Archive of Our Own ^beta

The purpose of DIO’s mansion in Cairo was to be the perfect habitat for a nocturnal vampire: cool and dark, with the addition of being large and luxurious at DIO’s own request. And it served well in most weather, but when temperatures of a hundred degrees fahrenheit and higher were achieved, the old limestone building began to simulate something of a brick oven.

You weren’t one to mind the heat; you may have disliked it in a past life, but it was welcome now that you spent all of your days in constant chill and shadow. It was refreshing, a reminder that an outside world did in fact exist, that you baked under the same sun with the rest of humanity, even if you were stuck in this place.

DIO didn’t share in this sentiment.

Your Lord did have a tendency to be short-tempered when it came to the more… bottom-feeding of his servants, but when temperatures rose, so did his temper with everyone else in the mansion. When that distinct warm haze hung in the air, they all knew to stay out of Lord DIO’s way, even those with the most earned respect.

To your dismay, and Giorno’s amazement, DIO found refuge in front of the refrigerator, top and bottom halves both open wide to cool him and his bare upper body. The old building wasn’t equipped with a single air conditioner, and all a fan succeeded in was blowing around a hot wind. Cold baths went to room temperature went to warm in minutes, showers made the bathroom clammy and dank. DIO’s best solution was the quaint kitchen fridge which barely rose above his chest, soft clouds of vapor floating from the freezer.

Little Giorno, with his red popsicle in hand, couldn’t pull his eyes away from the sight of his normally-composed father, arms propped on top of the refrigerator and head practically inside of it. It was definitely a rarity to see DIO looking so openly disheveled, his blonde locks still unkempt from sleeping, and while he did choose against clothing his upper half at times you got the feeling today he hadn’t even taken the time to properly dress.

“Um… Papa okay?” Giorno whispered loudly, pointing unsurely at DIO, who would have definitely heard but didn’t react. You may have laughed if you weren’t any wiser to DIO’s bad moods, instead biting your tongue and running Giorno’s hair off of his forehead comfortingly.

“Papa doesn’t... do too well when it’s hot,” you explained reassuringly. “Enjoy your popsicle before it melts, okay?”

Giorno did as he was told, going over to have a seat at the table with his frozen treat but still keeping a curious eye on his father. You were starting to have concerns of your own, as DIO hadn’t spoken or even moved in the past few minutes. You carefully approached, minding the usually hidden star-shaped mark behind his shoulder, gently placing a hand on his back, the skin there almost hot to the touch.

“Maybe you could find a place better to cool down than the refrigerator…” you suggested lightly, bracing yourself for a sharp-tongued answer. DIO looked at you from the corners of his eyes, seeming unimpressed by your offer.

“Make yourself useful,” he muttered. “Find something for my back. And do it quickly.”

You shook your head to yourself, choosing not to voice the spiteful reply that came to mind. You reached past him into the freezer, digging around until you came across the last green popsicle. It happened to be your favorite flavor, but with the way DIO was glaring at you it didn’t seem like he would be willing to wait for you to find a different one. With a slight tut you pulled it out, tentatively placing the tip of it to DIO’s flesh, and he sighed at the feeling, visibly untensing.

“Ah, that’s nice,” he hummed. “Come on, don’t keep me waiting.”

You felt ridiculous dragging the bright green dessert over DIO’s back, but if nothing else he seemed to be enjoying it. Really, you didn’t believe it was hot enough to warrant all of this, but perhaps DIO’s sensitivity to sunlight also extended to heat… whatever the case, the popsicle seemed to be doing the job nicely.

“Enough fooling around, take it out,” DIO ordered firmly, causing you to do a double-take.

“Take it out?” you repeated in disbelief. “You... want me to put the…”

“Yes, yes, hurry up with it,” he snapped impatiently. You hesitated, looking back at Giorno who was watching the whole with wide eyes, half of his popsicle melted on his hand and on himself.

“A-ah…sweetie, why don’t you go… clean yourself up?” you offered, grasping at straws to get him to go away. It was strange enough for you to be taking part in this, you definitely didn’t need Giorno to be watching. It took him a second to process your words before realizing the red, sugary mess on his front. You pointed him toward the bathroom and without much complaint he hurried off, probably catching on that you needed him gone for now.

You tore open the thin plastic packaging on the popsicle, setting the wrapper on the counter and leaving the bare, green pop in your hand. You stared at the expanse of DIO’s back, faltering, and you sensed his irritation rising.

“You heard me, didn’t you?” he barked. “Hurry up.”

“Whatever you say, Lord DIO…” you sighed, your slight sardonicism giving you courage. You pressed the popsicle to his skin, met with hums of approval. Sticky green liquid was already beginning to drip down the many clefts between his prominent muscles, making you cringe at the thought of the mess this was going to make. Another mess you were going to have to clean, no doubt…

“Mmh, higher,” he instructed, sounding strangely out of breath. You obeyed, a sense of discomfort creeping up at the racy noises it drew from him. You glanced around warily to ensure no one was watching, and while DIO may have been cooling down you were slowly beginning to heat up.

“Oh yes, more, give me more,” he groaned, his hands practically trembling. Once he emit a low growl from the cool treat trailing over his spine, you had reached the end of your rope.

“Do you have to do that?” you asked curtly, more out of embarrassment than rudeness. DIO just chuckled, the lazy smile which eased over his features making you temporarily forget your exasperation.

“I’m teasing you, dear,” he said apologetically, straightening up, and almost out of instinct you stepped back now that he had returned to his full height. “Thank you, but I have just had a better idea.”

He plucked the popsicle from your hand and, before you could protest, pushed it past your lips into your mouth. You startled at the suddenness of it, and by the time you had regained your composure DIO was already striding away.

“Where are you going?” you called after him, taken aback by his newly-found ambition.

“To find Pet Shop.” With that he disappeared around the corner, leaving you with the remains of the green popsicle both in your hand and on a puddle on the floor.

You wondered if DIO ever realized how ridiculous he could be.