Chapter Text
“Goodbye, Dean.” Cas says with tear filled eyes. He pushes Dean away, and the Empty descends. This is the way every hunter is supposed to go out. He’s an honorary hunter, thanks to Dean. He’s everything he is thanks to Dean. If he was going to sacrifice himself for anyone, it would be Dean.
“No!” Dean shouts, stumbling backwards. “Don’t do this, Cas!”
In maybe the most stupid moment of his life, he jumps onto Cas and knocks him over. He’s sprawled over Cas on the floor as the Empty takes Billy. He holds onto Cas for dear life as he yells, “Screw you! You can’t take me too. I’m human, you bitch!”
A low growl comes from the void just a few feet ahead of them, “Castiel, the only person that’s caused more noise than you is Billy. She’s more than quiet now.” Dean turns quickly to Cas- Was that gratitude? From the empty?
As the Empty retreats into it’s void and the hole in the concrete begins to close, Cas lets his head fall back to the floor, his hands covering his face. “Dean, I can’t believe how entirely reckless you can be. Do you not care about your life at all?” He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.
He’s still staring at Cas from just above him when his voice breaks, “Are you kidding me, Man? I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself for me. We can’t get through this without you.”
“Dean, I was happy to die for you. If there’s anything worth dying for-”
“It’s not me, damn it!” Dean pushes off the floor, his hands on either side of Cas. He reaches his hand out for Cas once he’s steadied himself.
“Dean.” Cas takes his hand and stands, when Dean immediately pulls him into a hug.
“No Cas, I don’t want to hear it. Don’t ever do that again.” Dean lets out a shaky breath, one he had been holding the last two minutes, since Cas said… what he said.
He realizes he’s been hugging Cas too long when the angel clears his throat. “I’m sorry man, I just…” Dean pulls away, resting his right hand on Cas’s shoulder. “I thought I was gonna lose you there.”
“To keep you from dying, Dean. I won’t watch you die if there’s anything I can do to prevent it.” Cas says shakily, running a hand through his hair, “I just needed to get some things off of my chest to summon the Empty. I’m sure you understand.”
Dean awkwardly lifts a chair that was knocked over in the commotion and drags it up against the wall and leaves it there. “Not a problem man, you did what you thought you had to do.”
“What I knew I had to do, Dean.” Cas corrects him, “If I didn’t, we would surely both have died to Billy.”
“Cas, you don’t know that. We could’ve fought, we could’ve won!” Dean argues, his hands flying all the while he speaks.
“Maybe we could’ve fought, but for how long? She was much stronger than you and I combined. She had her scythe. She had the upper hand and I took it from her. I don’t understand why you’re upset with me for coming up with a solution to save you.” Cas shakes his head, “Is it what I said before? I didn’t intend to make you uncomfortable, but I needed to speak my truth for my plan to work.”
“No, Cas. No. It’s not what you said.” Dean makes for the door, makes for getting away from that conversation. He needs to think before he says something stupid.
“Dean, don’t walk away from this. Not now, not when we don’t even know if we’re making it past today even after making it past Billy.” He grabs Dean’s arm and pulls him gently towards him.
Dean pulls away violently and stumbles back. “God damn it, Cas! What do you want me to say? That I love you too?” He chuckles fearfully for a moment, “Do you really doubt it after all of this time? After all the crap we’ve gone through? Of course I love you too, Dumbass!”
“What-” Cas looks genuinely shocked. He always felt like these feelings were something one sided. Something he should keep to himself, something Dean wouldn’t ever reciprocate. “I didn’t know you would ever…”
“Admit it?” Dean finishes the angel’s sentence with a laugh, “Yeah well, the world is ending. I might as well be myself in my last moments despite my dad rolling in his grave.”
“I didn’t think you would ever feel the same way towards me.” Cas said, tilting his head. “Why would your father roll in his grave?”
Dean shakes his head at Cas. His guardian angel, the object of perfection in his mind. He can piss Dean off something awful, today being an excellent example of that, but he’s made Dean happier than anyone has, other than Sammy. “He’d roll in his grave if he saw me do this.”
He can see the confusion on Cas’s face all the way until he closes the distance between them and does what he’s wanted to do for years.
And then he gets a call from Sammy.