Chapter Text
Chapter 1.
“You're oblivious Ben.” The boy in question went quiet, a brow quirking as he turned to look at Mike.
“What’d I do?” Even the way he spoke sounded clueless at times.
“It’s about what you didn’t do. The ice cream girl was obviously flirting with you.” Bill’s typically pale face was sunburnt from their entire summer spent at the quarry, and scrunched up the way it was, Eddie couldn’t help but wonder if it hurt his reddened cheeks. Maybe the look on his face was jealousy, Eddie thought, or maybe it was realization that Beverly would see the changes Ben went through over the summer. Perhaps it was both. Eddie definitely noticed the boy’s change, sure, but this was Ben.
Shy, brotherly Ben and that’s all Eddie had to say on the subject. He was jealous in a way, Ben had grown, standing over six feet and distributing his weight well whereas Eddie hadn’t grown too much. But, Bill stood an inch shorter than he did and Eddie was glad for that inch. He felt better knowing Bill was smaller, less alone, in some weird way. Eddie changed too. He ditched the fanny pack and stopped allowing his mother to dress him.
“Doesn’t matter. Ben cares about girls with red hair.” Mike chuckled, slinging an arm around him, “Or at least one that we know of.” Neither Ben nor Bill commented, focusing on their individual ice creams to avoid the obvious.
“How about you, Eddie? Got your eye set on someone this year?” Stan asked, adjusting the sunglasses perched on his nose.
The question caught him off guard, and he almost choked on his spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He’d had exactly one relationship, which had ended not too long ago, but it’s not like the other guys knew. “Nope.”
“Maybe you should be asking him what classes he’s got his eye on.” Bill mumbles over his vanilla ice cream.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
The copper-haired boy lifted his hands in defense, a small smile on his face, “Don’t get so defensive Eddie, I just meant you don’t really date you know.” But he did. A summer ago, Eddie admitted his feelings for one of his closest friends and thus began the best, and only, relationship of his life. But of course that best friend just had to go and fuck it all up.
“Not with Mrs. Kaspbrak.” Mike cracks an apologetic smile.
“If I wanted to date,” His face twisted up, annoyance on his face, “I can.” But that wasn’t true. Not really. Sonia Kaspbrak was a specific woman, he knew that much, he could date who she wanted him to just as long as she deemed the girl good enough. There were two problems with this: No one was ever good enough for him, according to his overbearing mother, and he simply wasn’t interested in girls.
He never officially came out. At least not really. He was pretty sure Bev knew, and Stan was much too inquisitive to have not noticed, even Richie didn’t know when Eddie confessed.
His eyes got wide behind his thick glasses and his cheeks turned a bright shade of red and for a second Eddie thought he was gonna be disgusted or worse, punch him. But really he doubled over in obnoxious laughing, “I never told you how I felt about you because I thought you would never be into me.”
Eddie could never forget the way the weight left his shoulders when Richie pulled him close and laughed into the nook of his neck. Now, Eddie was mad. He knew that, but really he missed the way he’d bury his face there, his laughter vibrating against the tanned skin of Eddie’s neck or how his shoulders would shake and he’d wrap his spaghetti noodle arms around Eddie’s waist. Not that he would ever admit it.
Richie left the week after Christmas break, just weeks after the two broke up. Really, Eddie didn’t know if he was angrier that Richie broke his heart or ran away mere weeks after, not so much as a call since.
It changed Eddie, it really did. The others saw the changes too. He didn’t really dress like he used to, and he did things he didn’t even want to think about. But he liked that. He was tired of everyone thinking they knew everything about him, of his mom dictating every moment of his life. That’s how he’d gotten his first tattoo. It was just after Richie left, and he’d gotten into a fight with his mother. He couldn’t even remember over what it had been about and yet he found himself at the kissing bridge with tears streaming down his face and a phone in hand. That night he called Bev and she came to console him, a six-pack in hand. It was the first time Eddie ever got drunk.
“This is disgusting.” Eddie groaned, choking down the heavy amber liquid. “Why would you drink this?”
“It’s good for heartache.” She stared down at the can with a somber look. And Eddie didn’t know how she knew but made no effort to question it. That night he ended up walking Bev home, even if he’d had more to drink than her, and she placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek, in a truly friendly fashion. “It’ll get better, Eddie. Promise.” Eddie ended up on a bus with the remainder of their six pack and four drinks were enough for the seventeen year old to get hammered.
He didn’t remember anything else from that night but he woke on Bill’s floor with a killer hangover and a pair of stars tattooed on his chest.
The next day, Eddie had a panic attack because he thought they were gonna get infected, or he would contract some sort of disease from what was probably a rusty needle. Beverly had to talk him down for hours to calm him.
“Do you guys think Richie will come back?” Stan asked, as the four boys moved toward the parking lot.
“P-probably not.” Bill said, annoyance clear in his voice. Bill was just as hurt as everyone else, and he almost always spoke for the losers collectively, this was no different.
Eddie felt Stan’s glance, and when he’d looked back at the boy he could see the apologetic look on his face. It’d been eight months of knowing looks and apologetic looks for Eddie, far too many he thought,at first he’d appreciated it now all it did was annoy him.
“Not like we’re dying for his presence.” Eddie shrugs, and pushes his ray-bans higher up on his nose. “I don’t know about you guys but maybe this year Bowers will fuck with us just a little less.” The others hum quietly in agreement. It was no secret that Richie was a large part of the bullying the group faced, always cracking a bad joke at the wrong time. He’d never failed to piss off Henry Bowers, a super senior and an overall asshole, and he never knew when to shut up. It was a gift and a curse.
“We’re seniors now, boys.” Mike says with a smile, that smile only Mike Hanlon can produce.
“Yeah hopefully no more getting stuffed into lockers.” Ben laughs, as Stan looks angry, arms crossed.
“Correction, you guys are seniors.” And Eddie instantly feels bad for him. Stan was the youngest of the group and a year behind, and he absolutely hated being reminded of it. At least, hopefully when Stan is a senior Bowers and his gang would finally be out of high school probably day drinking and committing hate crimes anywhere else but the halls of Derry High, after all no one ever really seemed to leave Derry. You were born there and eventually you would die there. Not Eddie though, not if he could help it. He would be in New York. In college, or maybe he’d be working on cars. That was what he liked to do in his down time and he would love to make it a full time gig if he could. A year was a long time away though, especially when time seemed to move like molasses in Derry.
"How was f-first period with Mrs. L-Lenard?" Bill asks as though he didn't know she was the most boring Math teacher in existence. It was like watching a documentary in language Eddie didn’t understand.
"How do you think it went, genius?" Eddie groans, "The slowest hour of my life. "I didn't know it was humanly possible for-"
"Guys," Ben interrupts coming up to the pair, his brows raised in surprise, "Guess who was in my A.P. math-"
"We get it Ben, you're smart." Eddie rolls his eyes, before shoving his book into his locker, "anyways-"
Ben sighs exasperated, "Eddie-" Then Eddie’s breath caught in his throat. Out of the A.P. Math classroom came Richie. He’d looked different then he did eight months ago, lankier, maybe even skinnier and somehow even paler skin. His hair had grown out a lot, curly and part of it tied back out of his face. And for a moment Eddie was happy to see him. To know he was okay. That feeling was gone in less than ten seconds when he’d realized Richie Tozier was back in Derry and didn’t even try to get a hold of him.
“Oh.” It was all he could muster up as his face dropped.
“Did he s-say anything to you?” Bill asks, looking just about as pissed as Eddie felt.
“It was like he’d never even met me.” And just like that the small spark of fire Eddie felt in the pit of his stomach felt like a dumpster fire. And to make matters worse Richie caught his eye across the hall. Even from this distance he could see the dark circles under his dark eyes, He wasn’t wearing his glasses probably opting for contacts. Eddie was even more angry, Richie hated putting his fingers anywhere near his eyes, he didn’t even know who this guy was anymore. Eddie’s feelings were about to be put in words when he saw a red head storming in the boy’s direction.
“Tozier!”