Chapter Text
L laid on the cold floor.
The room was dark, but you could see dim light around him, it was visible enough for him to make out a person in the darkness. The figure slouched in his chair and sighed heavily. A glimmer of light shined faintly revealing the man's biker-style clothing: red jacket, jeans, and leather boots but his face was shrouded with harsh shadows. L could just about see the mundane expression on the man's face, he got up from the floor peering closer.
The man sat on his chair with his fist brought up to his chin appearing quite tired. He shifted his head lazily to the left and was suddenly surprised as he had not expected someone to be right in front of him especially not L of all people. His voice made a sort of squeak noise as he stared at the peculiar man he used to know. Disbelief clouded his mind as his eyes had widened and his jaw dropped. He simply could not believe what he was seeing; it had been his belief since day one of being here that he would never see another human again. Yet here was the strange individual that he had not seen for years, 5 years in fact. He knew if it were not for their strong rivalry and L's unique self, L's face would have been forgotten completely.
"L is that... Are you real?" he stuttered, lifting slightly from his seat as if he were seeing a mirage.
"Hello Kira-Kun," L answered avoiding his question whilst smiling. Light was puzzled and this pleased L greatly. He could not remember the last time he saw Light look this way, in fact he had never seen him this way.
"So, this is the place of nothingness," he added, looking around the desolate space. The room seemed to go on and on, clouded in complete blackness. Besides the one chair Light had been sitting on as well as the side table with its vintage lamp which gave enough light to see one another. They were in a wasteland. L thought that though it appeared menacing in the dark, with the little setup Light had, it would be quite peaceful to relax and perhaps read a book.
"It's pretty bland," Light stated with nervous laughter. Taking a deep breath, he pointed to a chair, offering the man a seat.
L was amazed, he was sure that this second chair was not there initially. No, he knew it was not there before.
"Please sit," Light said gesturing with his hands for the dark-haired detective to crouch in his seat, in the odd way that he always did.
"Kira-Kun please sit also,".
Light sat back down returning to his nonchalant behaviour. "Here I thought the justice-driven L would end up in heaven but here you are," Light stated with a questioning look.
"Oh, does my presence bring you discomfort Kira-Kun? Surely I'm not that bad?" L asked. "And if you must know I wrote my name down, effectively extending my lifespan before the Shinigami could write it, this made her efforts to kill me futile... I would also like to tell you that I did not appreciate that creepy smile Kira-Kun gave me," L exclaimed making Light roll his eyes. It had been so long since Light had seen him, yet he appreciated that the detective was still the same. Playful yet reserved.
"You never change, do you?" He chuckled lightly but L found it far from funny in fact he was seeking a well-deserved apology.
"You know I'm waiting, Kira-Kun," he said in a steady tone. Light looked at him blankly.
"For what?" he asked receiving a tired expression. The younger of the two sighed and took a large breath preparing himself to admit his defeat. "You were right as always, I was Kira," Light answered.
"And" L moves forwards in his chair with squinted eyes to which Light raises an eyebrow and sighs again.
"You outsmarted me and survived... But then again you still ended up dead, so we can hardly call that winning, can we?" he finishes, L opens his mouth to speak but Light shuts it as a Deathnote appears in his hand.
"Hmm let's see here," Light flicks the pages in hopes to get L's real name but before he could reach the end the spidery man grabs it.
"How did you get this? I destroyed it," L asks curiously.
"Oh, calm down I manifested it and it doesn't even take effect in here," Light explains.
L was well and truly stumped. He had to admit he never thought he would see Light again or anyone for that matter. He had felt miserable since the night before and today had been no better, he remembered he was counting the minutes, dreading the thought of dying. He had expected that he would be briefly alive and then dead, he would no longer exist. L had believed he had seen everything in life, nothing ever confused him and he found no true excitement, no mystery could not be solved but ever since he met Light this had changed. He knew that even now, from here on out it would only get stranger. After all, he was no longer in the real world anymore.
"Manifested?" he questioned, squinting his eyes at the brunette, Light then placed two cups of hot tea on the table. He adds two sugars for himself and stops before asking,
"It was 6 wasn't it?". L nodded astonished at the sight in front of him.
Light adds the sugar to the tea moving it toward his guest before taking a sip of his own. "I never knew how you could drink that. Isn't it all sludgy?" he asks, L became wide-eyed at Light's interest, he had never really commented on his behaviour all that much, it seemed funny that now he would question his actions.
"Would Light-Kun like to try?" Light gave the cup a pondering glance before looking back at L nodding. He takes the cup savouring the warmth with his hands.
"What happened to you calling me Kira-Kun?" Light asked.
"Would you prefer me to call you that?".
Light just shrugs the suggestion "Lights fine," he adds taking a sip and cringing at the so-called tea before passing it back to the amused L.
"I also favour Light to Kira, Light... was a friend to me,".
Light's cup slipped slightly from his fingers making a loud clank, fortunately, it was not shattered to bits. He was startled as he tried to steady his cup and was looking at L as though he was speaking another language. It had been his sneaking suspicious the first time L had said that, that it was a farce, a ploy to intimidate or guilt him.
"You actually... like me?" Light asks sitting far back into his chair surprised.
"Of course, Light-Kun I liked you. Why didn't a tiny bit of you like me?" L asks amused.
"Well yes, Ryu... L... Well, I'll be honest I didn't like you one bit," He said whilst watching L's expression not change. "But thinking back now I have to admit there was something very endearing about you and you're certainly not boring,".
Light could remember all the moments where they would purposely annoy the living hell out of each other. It was only natural he thought, they both had a strong character. He felt a bittersweet feeling in his stomach, he had never had such an intense interaction with anyone. That was before he had met the infuriating detective. He remembered how he wished to squish him under his shoe, no one had ever gotten on Light nerves as much as he had. But his distaste toward L was all in the past and he knew that he deserved to be here. He didn't fault his own beliefs of killing those who deserved it of course, but there were ever so many people caught involved that he had murdered in the process. Biting his lip, he continued to lose track of the man in front of him. This realisation of his absent mind clicked suddenly as he awoke from his thoughts, embarrassed that he was so caught up in his head. This place certainly muddled your mind if you let it. "Um, Ryuzaki... " Light started to speak with his face lowered.
L looked at Light concerned before instinctively placing his lone finger under the brunette's chin and raising his head up to face him. "It's Lawliet," L says smiling gently, knowing there was nothing to fear anymore. His finger moved back onto his knee as though it had never moved. He wasn't sure why he had touched Light perhaps it was because he missed him or maybe he couldn't secretly believe the man was real. Light looked confused before he smiled cheekily.
"Well really L? How in the hell would I have guessed that?" Light said chuckling.
"Oh, I'm sorry, would you have liked me to serve it up on a gold platter?" L says giving Light's notebook back.
"Well now that you mention it," he says shielding himself before getting a playful hit on the arm. They both exchanged a smile and then L remembered the memento he had obtained.
"Oh here Light-Kun," he says removing the watch from his wrist and placing it in front of Light "Is that my ..." Light starts. "Well now L, I never would have taken you as a grave robber," he says grinning.
"It's hardly stealing more like inherited," L stated. "I'm only sorry that I never repaired it," L exclaims feeling a strange sense of guilt, not only did the watch have a crack but it had also stopped ticking, simply frozen in time.
"Are you sure about that? It seems to be working just fine," Light asks. L leaned forward wide-eyed.
"Did you do that?" L asks pointing to Light receiving a cheeky expression. Light redirects his hand to the startled detective. Leaving L confused as he skimmed through the notebook. Had L truly fixed it?
"Ahh, here it is L Lawliet. You wrote ... Will die quietly 23 days after Light Yagami's death." Light gave a scrawl towards L before sighing heavily. "It has only been 23 days since I died huh, feels like a billion," he says with a bored expression on his face.
"You know Kira-Kun when I think about it, I'm pretty annoyed at you. You are the reason we are stuck here in the first place. Not only that but Watari is dead because of you," L states coldly. It had taken that self-absorbed expression on Light's face to remember this man was not truly his friend. How could you even consider him to be a friend for even a second, he questioned.
Light looked down again for the second time. Swallowing loudly, he scratched the back of his neck giving L an anxious look "I really don't know what to say... I fucked up, I don't even know how it even got to this point." He exclaimed refusing to look at L. Normally he would be shouting, "you got in the way" or "serves you right for meddling" but during his isolation, he came to two facts. One he had lost himself and two it was all pointless as everything he had tried to accomplish would ultimately be undone, he could only imagine all the criminals that were no longer in fear, running rampant in the streets.
"At first, when the Death Note fell to the ground, I used it to kill bad people. It was something that made me feel like I was making a difference. I couldn't stand seeing these people doing such disgusting things and always getting away with it. I remember my father coming home every night looking older and older after witnessing all these horrible cases. I remember the dread on his face sometimes when he had to go in. Although he wouldn't admit it, my father is... my father was proud and wouldn't have let anyone know how he truly felt. I knew exactly what the punishments were going to be. All those cases where they were let off or got it too easy, it was sickening. I had grown tired of seeing good people suffer whilst evil people lived, waiting to be released to only continue to be cruel. It was truly disgusting. The legal system did not make it better, releasing rotten people for good behaviour when those bad people didn't have the balls to behave badly. Then there were those who faked good behaviour to get out sooner. It was truly repulsive to watch!" Kira growled, feeling all of his rage resurface.
He had spent many days trying to get rid of these feelings. God knows he had tried ever since he was little to accept the fact there were bad people. But let's face it even from the beginning before he had tested the notebook's power, he was intrigued at the idea that it could actually work. In fact, he needed it to work.
Light had been damn near perfect at everything, but he had lost his sense of joy for relishing over his own achievements. But being Kira was different. He found that he would gladly kill for himself. This was for him; this was something that meant something to him! Not to his parents or "friends". Not to those girls that would count all his achievements as reasons why Light was the perfect package for them. He had found something that was important, something that made him feel alive, that brought peace. But the last shred of his humanity died when he killed L. Lind Taylor, he murdered a man he believed to be innocent. He believed it was L and he remembered the anger he felt when the man had called him "evil" the anger was too much for him to bare and that's when he had thrown away his morals completely. He had not only ruined himself, but he was responsible for killing those who didn't deserve it, he had gotten his father killed, his sister kidnapped and sent to a psychiatric hospital and this, of course, hurt his mother, the woman who had only supported him and was proud of him. The guilt that he had swallowed, starting to come up his throat and he felt it choking him.
He breathed in slowly gaining composure "But that is no excuse to harm you or Watari and I know it's not much but I'm truly sorry," Light exclaimed, feeling his guilt rest in his stomach. L looked at him blankly he could see the emotions registering on Light's face. He practically saw the words and thoughts Light had, he knew that Light was in pain, broken and was swimming in guilt. He always wondered when Light would snap and sink, after all, he had done so much wrong. He knew he must have been in a numb state of repression, but he knew Light had never let himself feel. Since he had met him, Light appeared to always be in fight or flight mode. Everything he said and did was done for the purpose of survival, and he never slipped up, he never let himself show any emotions. L could not help but relate to Light. He had been solving crimes for years and from working on cases, he knew they were far from rejoiceful. It had been sickening at times and he knew that it brought him to terrible states as well as contributed to his insomnia. He could not fault Light's feelings and so his anger dissolved and his desire to make Light feel better grew.
"Forget it Light-Kun, it is all in the past," L says gently. Light raised his head as if to say something but found himself apologetically smiling. "Now Light-Kun I wish to know more about manifesting. Show me how to do it, I wish for something sweet,".
"Okay I'll try and help you," he said sitting up. "Close your eyes. Now think of the thing you want. Now imagine it is with you, let your senses become involved, smell it, taste it. Now believe it is here... Did you want a smartie?" L opens his eyes to see a singular sweet.
"Hmm... only one," L scowls. Before picking it up and eating it, tsking. L looked irritated, he had wanted a bowl of them, and here he was with one. It wasn't the fact that L had only managed to get one that was annoying, it was the tired feeling that came with manifesting it. Light couldn't bear seeing L scrawl, it had made him think L was behaving cutely, which would certainly not do.
"Dear Lord. Stop pouting. You've made one, didn't you? You'll get better with practice, as well as rest," Light exclaims, feeling warmth grow in his cheeks.
"Kira-Kun is very testy right now, is it that he thinks of my unsuccessful attempt as a reminder of his own failure?" L says smiling, to this Light does something L never expected he would do. Light had turned to him and stuck his tongue out.
"Isn't that a little immature?" L laughs.
"Perhaps," Light says throwing a smartie at L.
"Now Light-Kun no throwing," Light grins evilly.
"I thought you wanted smarties," he asks making a bunch rain on top of L before bursting out laughing. L sits there stunned before retrieving the sweets and eating them.
"That was very naughty Light-Kun," L exclaimed waging his finger in front of Light. Before cold water came down from the darkness drenching Light, which made L grin in triumph. He had not meant to manifest this but the sight of the candy raining down on him had made him think of the cold crisp water than seeped from the clouds.
"Ughh, really L really!" he says feeling a shiver down his spine.
"Light-Kun should wear something else before he freezes to death," Light chuckles at him.
"Sorry L but we're already dead can't get any deader," he says starting to remove his clothes.
"Can't Light-Kun make more appear on his body instead of changing?" L asks.
"Why? Does me undressing make you uncomfortable?" Light asks teasingly.
"No, of course not I just wish to know," he answered closing his eyes and turning slightly to the side with a blush on his face.
Light smiled, "I have to remove my clothes to manifest new ones" he answers. "You know you don't have to watch me I'm not your Kira suspect anymore," Light says almost singing it. L freezes before looking away realizing what he had been doing. Ha, Light thought. "All finished," he adds. Turning to L's flushed face smiling to himself. Why was he so cute when he blushes? Light questioned.
"You know L even though you're a stubborn pest, I kind of like you being around," Light said surprising himself. Did I really say that? He asked himself looking back up to L and noticing his expression.
The look on L's face showed he was touched. Never had anyone said anything so nice to him. From hearing other people's opinions of him he could say their opinions had been more than unsatisfactory. He recalled Naomi Misora and what she had told him a couple of months before the Kira case. He remembered asking about his double Beyond Birthday, he was only curious. Beyond was a man that looked so incredibly similar to him. His actions, his quirks, and even the way he spoke were close to identical. To this question he had gotten the most critical and heart-wrenching answer that he had ever heard.
"Creepy and pathetic... if we divided everyone in the world into those that would be better off dead and those that wouldn't there's no doubt in my mind that he'd be the former. Such a complete freak that it amazes me he hasn't killed himself," stated Misora.
It had made L feel inadequate and useless as if he were nothing. But here stood Light, gleaming at him and complimenting him. He held his gaze on Light before rising from his seat and embracing him. Light was frozen, but he soon regained control of his arms and hugged L back, instantly smelling the sweet scent of L's hair. Coconut? What an intoxicating smell he thought. Smelling his hair much deeper this time he found himself wanting to play with it. L's grip slightly tightened, he had never really been the hugging type but the way he felt inside he knew he had missed out all those years. All that time staying alone but at this moment he had been struck by Light's words. Why? They weren't particularly sweet words.
"You know L even though you're a stubborn pest, I actually kind of like you being around". It was then he felt Light's fingers moving up towards his neck. "Light..." he started feeling Light's soft lips kiss his forehead. It had happened so fast that L had wondered whether he had imagined it. He then felt the chair distort and transform into a soft couch under him. Light moved the detective back, tracing his finger softly down his cheek. L felt a shiver along his spine as his head started to cloud over. Looking into Light's eyes he could see that they were clouded with something he had never seen before.