Chapter Text
As the kwami of emotion Duusu has always been, well... emotional. His own emotions are strong, and his expressional nature makes them crystal clear for the world to see. That doesn't mean he can't control them, he can and is capable of doing his work no matter how he feels. He can be utterly happy or crying his eyes out in sadness, but he always makes sure to do a good job, supporting his chosen and making sure that the brooch is being used the right way.
Well at least in general. But there was a time when he felt... something. He wasn't able to determine what it was, but he just knew something was off, like a puzzle with a missing piece. A piece he had never been able to find. No matter how hard he tried, the answer never came, so he simply stopped thinking about it, he let it go. And he was fine that way, he helped his chosens, he even saw Nooro again! Yeah, he was fine.
And then, he repaired his miraculous, and he wasn't fine anymore.
It was like the fog being lifted, or a blindfold finally falling from your eyes. After so many years, Duusu finally found the puzzle piece, and the truth crushed him like a cold water bucket.
In mere seconds he remembered everything since his miraculous was broken, now he knew what was missing. The damage of the brooch was also affecting him, he stopped to feel others emotions the same way he always had, he couldn't sense their auras, nor could read their hearts. Much like his holders, he just could sense the emotions that got stronger. His own emotions were a mess, they got too strong to be normal, being the expert in feelings, he knew emotions are not just black or white, but colorful, changing and with a large spectrum of strength and depth, a wonderful mix of sensations. He knew that with happiness also comes peace, relief, or sometimes sadness, that with frustration comes anger, sadness, worry, with jealousy comes hidden secrets, sometimes hurtful ones, other times just pettiness. Emotions are complex, but his were plain, dull; when he felt happiness there were no other feelings or emotions with it, when it was sadness he just felt sadness, no sorrow, no loss, and the same with whatever other emotion he had. His emotions and feelings were so potent that he became extreme showing them, if he was happy he would scream and beam with all his energy, if he was sad he would cry full force with no consolation, if he was angry he would get aggressive. And the way he could change from one to another was unnerving. Like pressing a button or using a switch, he could be angry one second and happy the next one. And there was no middle, just one extreme or another. Because all of that he almost lost all of his empathy, he didn't remember the last time he could feel others emotions as his own, he missed it, he missed being able to understand, he missed being able to help.
And what scares him the most, prisoner of his own chaotic emotions, he was trapped inside this cage of powerful feelings, away from reality. The part of him that was rational, that was calm and thoughtful was lost deep down in his core. The damage of his miraculous keep him from seeing the world as how it truly was, he saw the love but not the sacrifices, he saw the sorrow but not the negation, he saw the grief but not the danger.
And then... it hit him hard, he didn't see the darkness that was rising in Gabriel, he missed the way Nooro was being treated, like a slave. He missed the way him was being used, to hurt others, to take advantage of their negative emotions, when they were vulnerable, and for what? For a wish that was personal, a wish that he once thought was romantic but now, now he can see how selfish Gabriel was being. Selfish with his son, selfish with the whole Paris, selfish with Nathalie and... selfish with her.
And was all his fault. His miraculous was broken, he was broken, and because of that Emily is in a coma that she probably would not awake from.
In that moment his emotions were like a whirlwind, fast, confusing... overwhelming. He almost missed his new hol... his new master talking to him. Frankly he didn't remember what was said to him, too busy trying to not explode from all the feelings inside him. Still he tried to at least look like he was paying attention, a new emotion was raising in him: fear. Because he could see Gabriel as whole now, and could sense that something bad was growing in his heart. He was a kwamis enslaver, he could feel poor Nooro's misery now. Remembering his friend, once Gabriel stopped talking to him to talk to Nathalie through video call, he looked for him and almost cried when he met his eyes.
Nooro for his part was very worried for his friend. He has been since learning his miraculous was broken, he knew it would has severe consequences in its holder, as well as in its kwami. Then, Nathalie used the peacock miraculous and Mayura was born, and after years he finally saw Duusu and all his worried were confirmed. Duusu... was not himself anymore, he was reckless, louder, aggressive, euphoric, changing from emotion to emotion in such a short time, he was a complete mess. It reminded him of a mental illness some humans suffer, bipolar disorder it's called if he remembers right. And it pained him deeply, seeing his friend acting like someone he wasn't, acting like a mentally ill.
But what pained the little kwami the most was the knowledge that, once Duusu's miraculous was repaired and the emotion kwami was free from its injuries, he would be devastated. Duusu has always been an empathetic soul, capable of making others' happiness his, as well as their sorrow or hope. When people get hurt he was hurt as well, he hates people that makes others miserable, sad or suffer, who takes advantage of the vulnerable. Knowing that he was used for that, and did nothing about it. It wasn't his fault, but knowing Duusu he would blame himself anyways.
A look at his friend confirmed his thoughts, in the peacock kwami's face flew different emotions: confusion, realization, shock, dread, sadness, anger, sorrow and something that Nooro really hated to see in the gentle kwami, guilt.
When Duusu met his gaze Nooro knew he needed to do something, even if he couldn't sense emotions the same way Duusu does, it was obvious the poor kwami was at the edge of a crisis. and if he wasn't able to calm down soon Gabriel would notice and he didn't want to know what would happen if he did. Taking advantage that his master was distracted, the butterfly kwami used his powers to connect with Duusu. The connection helped Duusu to relax a little, but before any of them could say something Gabriel finished talking to Nathalie and, without facing them, renounced the brooch and saved the brooch in a little box.
...But nothing happened...
He renounced the miraculous but, Duuus was still outside. That was strange.
Gabriel started to walk to the elevator, oblivious to the still free kwami, and the two tiny gods felt panic rising in them. Knowing that there was no time, Nooro shooted Duusu another glance and gave a simple and clear message.
'Keep calm and hide, we'll talk later'
And so he did. Before Gabriel went to the elevator Duusu hid in the shadows of the liar, as far as he could to not be spotted.
And he stayed there, and waited, in silence, alone. Once the sky was dark and the mansion was quite he went out from his hiding place and searched for Nooro. He knew the kwami couldn't go too far from Gabriel, finally he reached the designer's bedroom, where he was sleeping. Besides his bed he noticed a nightstand with a strange box on it. Fearful he kept getting closer to the human, until he spotted his friend's purple wings on the other side of the bed. Feeling a gaze on him, Nooro turned and saw the blue kwami flying to him, as quiet as he could to no awake the designer. And there, in front of his friend after years, finally being fully aware of the world, the little kwami of emotion couldn't hold back anymore and just broke.
Silent and thick tears rolled down his eyes, without making a sound he cried, cried for the holder he couldn't take care of, cried for the holder that almost face the same fate as the previous one, cried for all those times his miraculous was used for evil and he said nothing, cried for all the people used by his power, cried for the rest of their friends that have no idea of where they were. He just cried.
Nooro gave his master a quick look, making sure he was deep asleep, and once confident that Gabriel would not awake he simply hugged Duusu and let him cry, getting out all of those feelings. That night the kwami of transmision just holded his friend tightly and whispered comforting words to him, hoping to lighten the sorrow. And Duusu just cried and holded Nooro as a lifeline, just wishing to awake from that nightmare.
When Duusu stopped crying they talked about their situation, he can still remember it.
"What happened? Why am I still out the brooch if he renounced me?" after letting all out and some comforting words from Nooro, that didn't make him feel better but was still grateful for them, the little kwami wanted some answers.
"I don't know but, he repaired it, it should be fine!" tho, he didn't sound too convinced. But that was not important.
"Nooro, What are we going to do? Miraculous are supposed to be used for the common good!"
"I know, but no matter what I said he just would not listen, the wish he wants is dangerous, but he couldn't or don't want to accept it" Despite all his mistakes, Nooro truly cared about Gabriel, he knew his master was hurt and made terrible decisions, but deep down he was still a good man... or at least that is what he keep telling himself, but even him has to acknowledge the darkness growing inside his master, still he dreaded the day the villain would has to face the consequences of his actions. Nooro kept quiet for some seconds, thinking about what to do, and then he came up with the closest they had to a plan.
"Look, this is what we are gonna do, for now you need to keep hidden, I don't want him to know that you are free from the brooch, also... You will need to keep acting like nothing happened" He knew Duusu wouldn't like it, he neither but it was necessary.
"What? But-"
"I know, but it is necessary. You don't have as many restrictions as I do, that's because they think you are ok with all of this, if they discover the reason was because you were sick from your damaged miraculous, and that now that you are healed you would not agreed with them then Gabriel will do to you what he did to me. He would turn you in... i-in a s-slave... just like me" the last part was a whisper barely audible.
"Nooro" honestly he didn't knew what to say, he could felt the other kwami's sadness and misery but nothing he would say would make a difference, besides, even if he didn't want to accept it, he was right, contrary to Nooro, he didn't have rules nor prohibitins to follow, simply because he never said anything against his plan.
"Even if we can't do much, every amount of freedom you have left will help us... besides I don't want you to become a slave, you already have been through a lot" He could sense his eyes watering again, he hugged Nooro. Even if he didn't like this plan it was the only they had.
"Ok, I'll do it. Perhaps I can use this freedom and investigate a little around the mansion, anything that would help us" Nooro smiled, their situation wasn't good, but with his friend back, maybe things would get better. "That's a good idea, come here you need to rest, I'll wake you up before Gabriel does"
Duusu gave his friend one more hug before following him to a pillow to rest a little. Things were bad right now, but they still had hope.
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That was a month ago. Many things have happened since then. Nearly two weeks or so after his miraculous was repaired Nathalie had used it to create a sentimonster with the form of Robustus, to make havoc while Gabriel was in New York. Thank kwamis he failed his mission there, who knows what would happen if he kept the eagle miraculous in his power. Since Nathalie still needed to rest Gabriel used the peacock brooch and fused it with the butterfly to become Shadow Moth. He did it around six times, and neither Gabriel nor Nathalie got sick or tired after using it, so at least he had the relief that his miraculous is not dangerous anymore.
All the time he kept the facade, being the extremely loud, passive-aggressive kwami Nathalie and Gabriel were used to. Tho, sometimes he wished he could just be himself, at least to talk to Nathalie while she was still in rest. Differently from Gabriel, Nathalie was still free from any darkness, he knew she acted by love, but as his boss, she made bad choices. There were times when he just wanted to go and comfort her, because deep down she was hurt as well, Emilie was her friend, she cares truly about Adrien, and she really, really loves Gabriel and knew very well that she would be heartbroken at the end, whether Gabriel make the wish or get caught. He pondered the possibilities, maybe he could make her see reason?
But he knew the risk was too high. No, the better was to stick to the plan until a chance came. And the perfect one came, in the form of a very important and last minute meeting with one of Gabriel's most important and trusted business associates in Germany. The issue they would discuss is crucial, for some reason he didn't pay attention to. What he did pay attention to was the fact that it would require Gabriel's presence as well as Nathalie's. Meaning they would leave the mansion alone, except for the villain's son and his bodyguard. Hearing them, Duusu learned that they would have to put a pause to the villian activity, and were going to leave his brooch in the safe.
Perfect! He can escape while they are gone! Even better, the meeting coincidentally matched with the date of a gala party he was hosting in the mansion, it was for his foundation, he would escape during the party. Since he couldn't just cancel it, he just left Mrs. Tsurugi in charge, he also talked with his son about giving a good image to the company. He sometimes also wanted to go and just talk with the teeneger, he needed some guidance or at least an ear to listen to him and maybe a shoulder to cry on... or well, most like a presence to cry with.
The night before they left, he went to say goodbye to Nooro. He didn't want to leave him alone, but this was their last hope, also he would be of more help outside than trapped with him. Even if he can't say anything to reveal his chosens identity, any tiny advantage was important. He wished he could bring Nooro with him but it was impossible, the poor kwami couldn't go too far from the designer, and was forbidden to touch his brooch. And even if they could just carry the other's miraculous, taking the brooch from Gabriel was unachievable, he always has it on him, the only time that he took it out was during the night while sleeping, but he saved it in the strange box he saw his first night outside his miraculous. The box has a security mechanism, if someone opened it, it would trigger an alarm, and simply damage the system wouldn't work either since that would also trigger an alarm. Gabriel is very careful and sometimes a little paranoiac. It was useless. He was sad but Nooro assured him that everything would be ok, now they have a little chance to stop him. And Duusu believed him.
And now is the day. He is hiding in the safe besides his miraculous. Waiting for them to finally leave. He has to fastly hide behind the miraculous Book when Gabriel opens the safe to put the previous Master's tablet inside it. When he closes it again he waits, a minute, then two, then five, at minute ten he peers out, the office is empty, and he has less than an hour before the party starts. He begins with his plan.
Contrary to what many would think, Duusu is actually good at planning and carefully thinking. He is not going to just leave, no. He knew Gabriel had some resources for his mission, and he was going to take all he could away. Just as Nooro said. Every. Single. Advantage. Is. Important. During the month after he was healed he used the nights to explore the mansion, every corner and secret passage, all the rooms and windows, as well as every object that was inside the building, he memorized everything. That's how he knows that his only source of information about the miraculous are Master Fu's notes in his tablet, and that he has a copy in his and Nathalie's computer, as well in a hard drive hidden in his room. He would get rid from all of them.
But first thing first, the security cameras, even if kwamis couldn't be catched in camera, his miraculous floating mid air could. And he doesn't want any evidence from his escape. He goes to every single camera and damages it, it's easy, simply go inside them and mess up their system. When he finishes he goes to check in Gabriel's computer, just to be sure. Once positive that there is no functional camera he does the same to Gabriel's and Nathalie's computers. He makes sure to utterly destroy the memory cards, and every important part of the computers, so there is no way to rescue the notes. And if that also messes up Gabriel's work? Well, it was just karma and even kwamis are allowed to be petty sometimes. Next is his room. He goes and finds the hard drive, weighing his options and decides to flush it down the toilet.
Peering outside the designer's room, he notices that people are starting to arrive at the mansion, Mrs. Tsurugi is with her daughter and Adrien receiving them at the end of the stairs in the entrance. The Gorilla is on the door, asking for names and letting people pass. Carefully he returns to Gabriel's office to finish his work. Inside the safe he makes sure to leave the tablet useless with no salvation of any information that would be there. Now he just needs to escape as far as he can from this place.
He opens the safe and takes his miraculous out, then closes it again. From this point his plan is not as clear, he doesn't know where to go. The obvious option is to Ladybug, since she is the new guardian but, he doesn't know where to find her, and she would not be showing up to fight akumas soon since Gabriel would be out for a week at least. And he also doesn't know if the heroine does patrols over the city. Right now his plan is hide and wait until Gabriel returns, make an akuma and Ladybug shows up to fight it, then he could go with her, tell all he could and beg for forgiveness for letting his miraculous being used the wrong way and saying nothing, and for being able to help to defeat Hawk Moth. Or if he is lucky, he would find her on a patrol and go with the begging. Whatever happens first.
Satisfied with what to do, the little kwami grabs his miraculous and flies to the door, opens it a little and goes out. There are more people inside, all wearing elegant clothes, he flies very close to the floor, carefully and quietly to not grab attention to himself. Once he gets outside the door he feels the most free he has felt in a long time. Outside is a large row of people in elegant outfits, waiting to enter the gala, they were busy talking among themselves, there is a large and open space between the mansion and the gate, but it is crowded enough that nobody would notice him, besides there are some flower arrangements decorating the courtyard, he can uses them to hide if needed. Duusu smirks to himself and flies to the open gate as fast as he could.
He was too relieved, soon he would be free! It is just some meters, he is almost there!
He is just about to pass the gates...
And then...
He felt it...