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On January 24, 1979, Dean Winchester is born to Mary and John Winchester. The first few years of his life go just like anyone else's. He learns to walk, he learns to talk, he loves his parents more than anything. Nothing all too special happens until he is four years old.
*****
When Dean is four, right after his little brother Sam turns six months old, the Novak family moves in next door.
Dean helps his mother make cookies the day after they arrive, and she even lets him have one before making him come over to their new neighbors' house. He holds the plate of cookies while Mary holds Sam and rings the doorbell.
Dean holds up the plate carefully and the woman in the doorway takes them with a word of thanks, and then starts talking to Mary. Dean almost slips back over to their front yard, but it's a good thing he doesn't. Because right then a little boy runs up behind his mother's legs, a boy who will come to mean so much to Dean. A boy with dark hair and shocking blue eyes, and as soon as he sees Dean, he hides his face behind his mother's legs.
Dean later learns that this is Castiel--better know as Cas or Cassie. He is four (the same as Dean), and has four older brothers: Gabriel is five, Raphael is seven, Lucifer is eleven, and Michael is twelve. They are all named after angels, even if Cas thinks his angel is stupid. The angel of Thursday. Dean tells him that he was born on a Thursday, and Cas seems to be a little more okay with his name after that.
Inevitably, Dean and Cas become best friends.
*****
When Dean is nine, Sammy starts kindergarten.
Lawrence isn't very big, there is a high school and a grade school, so Dean and Sam go to the same school.
On the second day of school, Mary gives Sam a kiss on the forehead and sends him off with Dean and the Novaks. Dean holds Sam's hand, and as soon as they turn the corner and Sam can't see Mary, he starts crying. Dean tries to comfort him, but in the end it's Cas who saves the day.
Cas's dad had bought his family doughnuts to celebrate getting through the first day of school. Cas is still eating his, and when he sees Sam crying, he pulls his doughnut into two pieces and gives one of them to Sam wordlessly. Sam stares at him for a second, but when Cas nods at him, he takes a bite. By the time they get to school, Sam is smiling and jumping up and down, ready for his second day at school.
That's when Dean decides he might love Cas.
*****
When Dean is ten, Cas's father leaves.
Cas is a wreck when it happens, and for a few days he talks about his dad, Chuck, coming back. Dean had talked to his mom about it because he didn't understand what had happened, and Mary had told him that Chuck had left and he probably wasn't coming back.
After that, Dean hangs out with Cas even more than usual, and he doesn't even complain when Cas finally breaks down in sobs. He just wraps an arm around him and leads him inside where he sits his friend on the couch and hands him a box of tissues. Then he goes and gets two cookies from the plate Mary had set out, and sits down next to Cas. They sit huddled together on the couch, eat their cookies, and Dean talks to him softly until he calms down. Mary comes in half an hour later to find Cas asleep, slumped against Dean's shoulder, while Dean has the television on with Cas's favorite movie flashing across the screen.
That's when Dean decides that he does not like it when Cas cries.
*****
When Dean is eleven, Cas's oldest brothers start fighting. A lot.
Cas starts spending a lot more time at Dean's house, and Gabriel even comes over occasionally as well. Mary always welcomes them graciously, and offers to let them spend the night. They accept most of the time.
Dean doesn't really know what Michael and Luci fight about, that is until one night. Cas is staying over and they are huddled up in Dean's bed. It's way past when they should have been sleeping, but that's when the secrets always come out.
"Mom's gone a lot," Cas says softly. Dean jerks all the way awake--he had been falling asleep until Cas had spoken.
"Yeah?" he asks, turning his head to look at his best friend.
"Yeah. She says she's working," Cas answers, "she has to work a lot now that Dad's gone. Michael's usually in charge of us because he's the oldest, but he never wants to. He says he doesn't like us, he would rather be with his friends."
Dean frowns, that doesn't seem right. Cas and his brothers were awesome! "Is that why him and Luci fight?"
"Him and Luci fight because he's irresponsible. Or, at least, that's what Luci says. He always calls him that. Irresponsible." Cas pauses, looking down at his hands before continuing. "Mostly they fight because he wants to leave, but Luci says he has to stay and be a part of the family."
Dean watches Cas for a few minutes until the dark-haired boy lays down and falls asleep.
That's when Dean decides that Cas deserves a better family.
*****
When Dean is thirteen, Cas's mom gets sick. Really sick.
He doesn't know what it is, exactly, but it's something that her mother had had, and it's going to kill her. He doesn't see Cas very much for a few months. Mary goes next door every day--to "check up on them" as she puts it.
That's when Dean decides he never wants to be away from Cas again.
*****
When Dean is fourteen, Cas's mom dies.
Cas calls him from the hospital and tells him. All of Dean's family goes to funeral, even John.
The funeral is...interesting, to say the least. Dean stays with Cas the entire time, and holds his hand whenever those bright blue eyes glaze over with tears. When Michael shows up, it's a surprise to everyone.
He had disappeared for a week after Anna died, and he hadn't made any effort to contact his siblings or let anyone know if he was coming or not. They joy of seeing him again is short-lived. He had only come to let his brothers know that he was leaving. he was sick and tired of the tired old place that was Lawrence, Kansas, and he was leaving it for good.
When the funeral and all it's drama is over, the remaining Novaks go back to their house to find that, indeed, all of Michael's things are gone.
Neither Cas nor Dean get much sleep that night. Dean sneaks into Cas's and Gabriel's room through their window, and holds Cas while he cries, and whispers with him when he doesn't. In fact, he is surprised that they don't wake Gabriel up. He later realizes that Gabriel had to have been awake the whole time. He's grateful that Gabe hadn't spoken up.
The next morning, Luci comes in to get them up and doesn't bat an eye at the fact that Dean is in bed with Cas. Neither of the other brothers mention it when Dean stays for breakfast. Dean's own family doesn't even say anything when he shows up back at their house after breakfast.
That's when Dean decides that he loves his family more than anything and realizes that the Novak brothers are a part of it.
*****
When Dean is eighteen, he and Cas graduate from high school.
It's a happy day, for everyone. The Novak brothers sit with Mary, Sam, and John. After the ceremony, they all go out and have a meal together to celebrate. It's a lot of fun, so much so that they barely notice the absences of Chuck, Anna, and Michael.
When Dean and Cas leave for college a few weeks later, it's a less happy occasion. John and Sam help Dean pack up the Impala, while Gabriel, Raphael, and Luci help Cas with his Nova. When both cars are filled to the brim with boxes and Mary's cookies, the boys say their goodbyes to their family.
Mary cries, and so does Sam even if he won't admit it. Luci cries a little too, as does Gabriel. Dean even has tears in his eyes when he turns to his best friend, and is glad to see that the familiar bright blue eyes are glazed over with unshed tears as well.
"I'll see you at Christmas?" Dean asks hopefully.
Dean was going to college in South Dakota, by Sioux Falls where his Uncle Bobby lived, but Cas was going all the way to California. He was trying to be a doctor of some sort, while Dean was planning on being a teacher. It would be the first time they were away from each other, for more than a few days, in the time that they had known each other.
"Of course, Dean," Cas answers in his impossibly deep voice.
Dean nods and wraps his arms around the other's shoulders tightly, while Cas wraps his arms around Dean's torso. Dean's hands grip on to the back of the ridiculous trench coat Cas had taken to wearing.
"Man, I'm gonna miss you," Dean whispers, sniffling a little as a few tears slide down his cheeks.
Cas just nods in response, holding onto Dean a bit tighter for a second. When they pull apart, Dean's pretty sure he feels Cas's lips against his cheek, but he can't be positive.
"I will speak with you soon, Dean," Cas says quietly, and when Dean nods, he turns and gets into his car, waving to everyone as he drives away. Dean watches him go silently, and only moves when Mary wipes the tears from his cheeks and kisses his forehead, telling him that he should get going too.
Later that night, when Dean is driving down a highway in the middle of nowhere, he remembers something he decided when he was thirteen: that he never wanted to be away from Cas.
That's the first time Dean seriously considers ditching college all together to chase Cas instead.
*****
When Dean is twenty-two, he graduates from college.
His mom, his dad, his brother, and his Uncle Bobby all show up to see him when it happens. Dean is disappointed when he doesn't see Cas with them, but he ends up going back to Boby's house with his family and catching up.
Then the doorbell rings, and Dean frowns at them all when they tell him to answer it. He's greeted by bright blue eyes, messy hair and a dirty trench coat that Cas still insists on wearing.
Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't seen Cas since Christmas, or maybe it had something to do with finally feeling grown up, or maybe it was something about how seeing Cas reminded him of the maybe kiss that had occurred four years ago, but when Dean sees Cas, instead of hugging him, he grabs his coat, pulls him closer, and kisses him. Cas is surprised to say the least, and when Dean pulls back he smiles sheepishly at him, opening his mouth to speak.
His apology is swallowed by Cas's lips on his own again.
After that, it's really an unspoken agreement that they start dating.
*****
When Dean is twenty-five, he stands at an alter out in his Uncle Bobby's backyard, and gets married to the love of his life.
Everyone comes.
Mary, John, Sam, and Bobby are all there. Sam's up at the alter next to Dean as his best man, and Dean marvels at how tall his little brother has gotten. Benny, whom he had met at his school and was like a second brother to him, is up there next to Sam. Luci, Raphael, and Gabriel are there. Gabriel and Raphael stand next to Cas, while Luci stands between the happy couple, he'll be the one to marry them. There aren't too many seats in the audience, but all of them are taken. Dean's best friend Charlie, and Sam's girlfriend Jess. Cas's cousins Balthazar, Samandriel, and Hannah. Ellen and Jo Harvelle, along with Ash who works at Harvelle's Roadhouse with them. Meg Masters, and some of the other doctors and nurses who work with Cas in the ER. Even Harry and Ed, the two somewhat questionable custodians at the school Dean had managed to get a job at, were sitting at the back; their cameras set up at various places to save the memories.
But most importantly, to Dean anyway, Cas is there. Cas, who had finished school in California while Dean spent the time working in an auto-shop to stay close to him. Cas, who let Dean drag him to every single superhero movie that came out. Cas, who said yes when Dean popped the question and kissed him until his hands stopped shaking. Cas. The man he loves.
The ceremony goes by too slowly in Dean's opinion. There's too much talking from Luci, and too much waiting before getting to actual part of getting married to Cas, which was all he wanted from this day. If it had been up to him, he and Cas would've gotten married at City Hall, but Mary and Cas had insisted on a real wedding.
Dean's voice cracks when he says his vows, but that's okay because Cas is smiling at him. And his hands shake when he slides the ring onto Cas's finger, but that's all right because Cas holds his hands afterwards. And he stutters when he says 'I do', but that's no problem because Cas says it with enough firmness for the both of them. And then they're kissing, and everyone is cheering. And when they pull apart, their hands are laced together, and Dean can feel the ring on Cas's finger, and he's smiling so wide it hurts. And when he looks over, so is Cas.
They spend the rest of the night shoving cake into each other's mouths, accepting congratulations from everyone, speculating about what gifts they would get, slow dancing under the lights strung up in Bobby's yard, and kissing.
In short, it's the happiest day of Dean's life.
*****
When Dean is twenty-nine, Cas gets sick.
At first, they both think it's just the flu or something and Dean thinks it's a pretty good guess if Cas agrees with him. So Dean takes care of him. He makes the tea that Cas loves, and gets Mary's recipe for tomato rice soup and then makes it from scratch. They both think it'll be gone in a week or so, but then Cas passes out in the shower. When Dean hears a thump from their bathroom, he goes to check it out and finds Cas on the floor of their shower with the water still running. So Dean has to call 911.
It's the same thing his mom had. Dean doesn't pay attention whenever the doctors or Cas try to explain what it is, because it doesn't matter. His husband is dying and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
He takes a sabbatical from his job, and luckily the administrators understand and give him six months to get everything together.
He's at the hospital every day. He only goes home to shower--in the guest bathroom, he can't bear the sight of theirs--and to change his clothes. What little sleep he gets is in the chair next to Cas's bed--that now seems to be reserved for him--with his head on Cas's bed, and Cas's fingers in his hair. Gabriel, Luci, and Raphael come as soon as they get they news. Sam, Jess, Mary, and John do as well. They all worry about Dean.
Cas gets increasingly thinner. He sleeps more often than not. The time he spends awake, he spends with Dean, worrying over him mostly. Telling him to go home and sleep in the bed instead of the chair that always seemed to mess up his back. Whenever he makes a comment about Dean not sleeping, or not eating, or not smiling, Dean just smiles sadly, shakes his head, and says, "I love you."
Cas always says it back.
They spend Christmas in the hospital that year. Dean gets the leather jacket he had been eyeing a few months ago, but it's not what he wants. He just wants Cas to get better.
Those months are when Dean learns about his hatred for hospitals.
*****
When Dean is thirty, he gives the eulogy at Cas's funeral.
Everyone comes.
Mary, John, Sam, Jess, Luci, Raphael, and Gabriel. Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and Ash. Benny, Charlie, Balthazar, Samandriel, and Hannah. Meg, Ed, and Harry.
Everyone wears black.
Cas had died on Dean's thirtieth birthday.
Dean doesn't cry, because Cas isn't there holding Dean's hand this time like he had been at all the other funerals he had ever gone to.
Dean drinks himself to sleep that night.
That's when Dean decides that he doesn't want to live without Cas.
*****
When Dean turns thirty-one, he dies with a gun in his hand.
Sam's the one that finds him: slumped across the couch with a gun lying on the floor next to him, Cas's wedding ring clenched in his hand, and a note on the coffee table. Sam had been coming to help him make the pie he was supposed to bring to their parents' house that night. They were going to get together for Dean's birthday. And they didn't want him to be alone on the anniversary of Cas's death. Instead, Sam calls 911 with tears streaming down his face.
The note is short, only two sentences.
I'm sorry. I tried, but I can't live without him.
*****
EPILOGUE
When Dean opens his eyes, he sees that he's in a familiar room, and he thinks that he did something wrong, that he hadn't died. But then Cas walks through the door. He realizes that they're in the first apartment they had lived in together, back in California when Cas had still been in school and Dean had been working at the auto-shop. He realizes that this has to be Heaven. His mom had told him stories about how everyone had their own Heaven, and sometimes, if you were real soulmates, your Heavens were the same and you got to live together for eternity.
"Dean?" Cas asks, looking at him with surprised eyes.
"Cas," Dean breathes out in a whisper as he gathers his husband up in his arms--because, yes, they were both still wearing their wedding rings even though Dean had taken to wearing Cas's on a chain around his neck after he had died.
Cas hugs him back tightly, tucking his face into Dean's neck while Dean buries his nose in Cas's thick, dark hair. it smells just like he remembered. Sterile, like hospitals, and vanilla, like the shampoo Cas liked to use, the shampoo that Dean had taken up using after Cas had left. To remember him.
"You shouldn't have done it," Cas whispers. Of course Cas would know what he had done, Cas always knew everything even if he didn't tell him. "I could have waited."
Dean smiled, pulling back just enough to see his familiar face. "You've always been the patient one out of the two of us," he replies softly. "I couldn't wait any longer."
And then Dean kisses him.
And that's when Dean is finally happy.
THE END