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Habit

Summary:

Harry needs to talk to him because he couldn't remake his life without him, but Louis is terrified to see him again.

Or where Louis and Harry break their 5-year relationship, but 4 years later life reunites them, or rather, a secret that cannot be hidden anymore.

Chapter 1: Introduction 1/3

Summary:

I always said that I'd mess up eventually
I told you that, so what did you expect from me?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“It's late!” Louis had to shout into Harry's ear to be heard over the music. "It's almost four in the morning!" He yelled after taking a glance at his watch. He took Harry's hand and tried to pull him closer, putting an arm around his shoulders.

It was Thursday night and the place was full of people, it was getting a little more difficult to move. It was very noisy and he hated being all sweaty. Harry was a lover of the night, he always wanted to party, typical of someone his age.

“I'm tired, baby," Louis said as he parted.

He could see that Louis was tired, his face showed it, he had to work tomorrow, but Harry was not ready to go home, he wanted to continue drinking and enjoying good music.

He moved to the rhythm of the music as he got closer to him (not worrying too much about how bad of a dancer he was) and rubbed against his body with his hands on his ass. He missed the days when they started dating, where they stayed up every weekend and danced stupidly, laughing at how badly dressed the people around them were. Or just yearned for that night when they met. They collided on the dance floor and couldn't take their eyes off each other.

It was love at first sight.

All those memories simply disappeared, as if they had never existed. He was dancing and being ridiculous for Louis to laugh and use that look that was not much different from how he was looking at him now; except it was different, somehow it felt different.

“Come on, you like this song!" Harry shouted, moving his hips back and forth, making Louis smile.

Finally, Louis reciprocated the game, and he wrapped his waist in a hug, just enough to press him closer. He rested his mouth close to Harry's ear to whisper. "Why don't you dance at home like this?"

Louis squeezed his hand tighter on Harry's back, and the other shamelessly brought it to his crotch. There were a lot of people around them and Louis was unconcerned that anyone would notice him because he felt excellent to let it pass right now. Harry kissed him, and the kiss was too dirty, desperate.

It was the closest they had been in weeks.

“Let's go to the bathroom. Let's do it in the bathroom,” Harry suggested, almost sounding like a fantasy confession. He slipped his tongue over Louis's neck, enjoying the feel of his shudder in response.

"It could be better at home, though." Louis gasped in Harry's ear. "I could make it worthwhile."

That was an offer difficult to ignore, but Harry was excited about the idea of having sex in the bathroom of that disco, and he did not want to go home, that would take away how exciting the adrenaline of fear of being discovered felt. It had been a good night and he didn't want it to end that fast, even for a fuck. Especially for a quick fuck, (since he was sure it would be a quick one).

"I want us to stay here."

Harry was serious, he wanted to have sex there, he didn't want to go home and practice the same boring positions as always. However, Louis laughed as if it were a joke and gave him a little push.

"Come on," he said, and started to walk away from Harry. “We're going home.”

Louis started making his way through the crowd and Harry followed after him feeling more defeated than hot.

 

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

 

“Up for a run with me?”

“You always ask me the same thing. Has my answer ever changed? “

"I still hope it's a matter of time before you change your mind."

"Why would I want to go running when I have a nice sofa to support my beautiful ass and take a nap?"

"You are an old man."

"Sorry, you were the one who wanted to go out last night and return at five in the morning."

“Are you still mad about that?"

"No, I'm just trying to get some rest because I have a million things to do. It's not all about partying.”

“Ok.”

And with that Harry ran off, leaving Louis on the couch and in a fucking mood for arguing again.

 

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

 

"We could go out tonight, what do you think?"

Louis did not look up from the screen of his laptop in front of him. “It’s Sunday.”

“So?”

“I have work in the morning. Every Monday of the year”

“... AND?” Harry chuckled a little as he paced back and forth in front of the couch.

“So I can't go out, I must rest," Louis replied, then looked up because Harry said nothing, and was standing in front of him. "I mean, if you want to go out with your friends...”

Harry considered the idea for a moment before shaking his head, then shrugged. He sat down on the sofa next to him, and laid his head on his shoulder. “No, it's not okay. You're probably right, it's a bad idea.”

 

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

 

“You still haven't considered the idea of moving to Holmes Chapel? There is a beautiful house for sale near my mother's house. I was finding out—“

"No," Louis replied immediately, without looking up from the television. "I like Doncaster." Louis stood up. He wasn't yelling, but he usually did when they were about to score a goal. It was a few minutes before Louis remembered Harry's question, and he frowned as he turned to see him. “Babe... Since when do you not like Doncaster?”

“Not that I don't like it." Harry shrugged. "I was just thinking of ...”

“Why?” Louis asked as he threw himself down on the sofa, he made a space for Harry when he noticed that he was sitting down. Louis took a gulp of beer and put his arm around Harry's shoulders, laying him on his chest.

He believed that everything was perfect.

“For nothing, Lou."

Louis narrowed his eyes and kissed his curls. ”Tell me, love. Why are you considering the idea of moving?” Harry was silent for a moment, his gaze fixed on the hem of Louis' shirt that was curling into his fingers. Louis lifted him from his chest, and lifted his chin to connect their gazes. “Is everything fine?”

No “Yes”

“Do you want to go back to your town?"

Harry shrugged against his chest, and hugged him. "Not really, I don't know. I just miss my mother and sister sometimes.”

He seemed somewhat insecure, and Louis worried for a moment that perhaps this was serious, that he really wanted to leave. “Baby if that's why, you know we can always go visit them. Your sister was here two weeks ago, your mother comes at least once a week.”

“Yes, you're right," said Harry, and laughed.

Louis laughed at that, too, but didn't realize Harry faked his laugh. Wow, 5 years together and Harry can fake well now.

"We'll go see them over the weekend, baby. I promise.”

“Okay” Harry said and raised his face to kiss his chin. “It's okay.”

 

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

 

"Did you drag me all the way here to look at a house?"

It was cold, nightfall, and Harry was in a bad mood.

"Not just any house," Louis clarified, too enthusiastic for a gray and gloomy afternoon. He grabbed Harry and rested his back on his chest. "It could be our home."

Harry looked at him. “Our home?”

“Of course! I mean, it's a little shabby, yes, and maybe it's a little small, and we should add rooms for our children, but the price is quite good, we could buy it.”

Harry looked towards the house, without any expression on his face.

"I know, I know," Louis interrupted him before he could say anything. “You do not like it.”

“That's not the problem. I thought if we were to move, you would consider going to Holmes Chapel.”

"We've been renting that apartment for two years," he said, and his gaze moved towards the house, his eyes hopeful on it, the surrounding courtyard and the little garden someone had planted by the front steps. “Don't you think it's time to, you know, take the next step? Buy something of ours. Invest in some property.”

“I don't think this is the kind of place I would invest in anyway," Harry said doubtfully, glancing at the window panes that were practically didn’t allow them to look inside because they were too dirty.

Harry's family was high class and he attended a private university that Louis now paid for with his poor salary. Louis had always been lower middle class, and did not earn a good salary at work; Most of the money went to household expenses and Harry's studies, this house was the only thing within his reach. Harry had told him millions of times that his family would give him the money he needed to have a better life, but Louis never wanted to accept a penny, because when Harry moved to his house he promised that he would not lack anything.

They had been together for 5 years. Harry had just turned 22 and Louis, 28.

Notes:

****English is not my first language, so you probably see a lot of grammatical errors. Please feel free to correct me and I will edit it as soon as possible for better reading. If you want to be my beta, just write to me. Thank you ❤️