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I Can See It in Your Eyes (Deep Inside You Want to Cry)

Summary:

Tony gets hit by a spell. That makes him cry. A lot.

Notes:

Warning! This is not a good fanfic because I suck. Bye

Work Text:

Of course, of all the settings he could pick to create chaos, the God of Mischief chooses to land in a shopping mall. Loki was really bitching out this time, Tony thought.

That lingerie stall is not clear, sir. JARVIS quipped, and wow. Never a day passed by that Tony ever thought his AI would use the word ‘lingerie’.

“On my way, J.” He flew through glasses, and an empty elevator-- shit, cleanup was going to be a bitch after this-- and grasped onto Loki’s cape, then throwing him to an aisle of underwear. Loki tumbled, then got up to his feet, blowing a stray hair sticking on his forehead. The guy chuckled.

“Stark.” He spat.

“Reindeer.”

Then Loki blasts a rack full of clothes right at his left, sending them toppling towards him. “Fucking--” Before Tony could blast off the racks, Black Panther caught up next to him, releasing kinetic energy around them.

“Great so its raining bras now, guys.” Tony states dryly, and heard someone cough from the comms. He imagined Steve in this situation. Big guy would probably be blushing. He flew out of a window where Black Panther knocked Loki out, sending him free-falling three stories from above.

Sir, it appears that Black Panther caught a clone.

“Shit, you saying that it’s not the real Loki?” Tony twists around to bomb one of the freak aliens flying around. “Here I thought it was the best thing to see Loki defeated by a pile of lingerie.”

“Try to keep up, Iron Man.” Barton taunts, and Tony turns to see him perched on a building, face to face with, well, the real Loki.

Tony scoffs, “Just hope your arrows don’t run out, Legolas.” He thrusts forward to the building, missiles firing on the norse god. The comms crackled a while before Hawkeye’s voice tuned in again.

“Iron Man! That’s not my current location--” And what the hell could Tony only think when the form of Hawkeye disintegrates. Creepy. Tony was toppled out off his balance when a blast from Loki’s scepter hit him square on his shoulder, that part of his armor quickly turning black. He grits his teeth at the impact. “..Shit.”

“You disgust me, Stark.”

“Why thank you, I really appreciate it--” Tony got onto his feet quite clumsily, that would probably have looked comedic due to the suit. He popped his face plate open with a hiss at the sunlight. “-- can you end this? We both know that you’re just gonna end up in jail again right--” he dodges another blast, sends an energy beam.

“Sis? You gotta stop being emotional and move on! There are so many guys around the world! Or in your case, realms, ha--”

Loki charges forward, slamming Tony down with the iron suit. His eyes were full of rage. “Emotional?” Loki parrots, and his rage morphed into a sly grin. “You’re one to talk, Metal man, who is the one who is so, so desperately trying to bury his emotions that are overflowing?”

Tony powers up the arc reactor, flinging Loki a few feet away. “Billionaire, genius, or what. You are nothing, Stark. Empty. What you want-- what you desire for. Just doesn’t want you. Whose hands are full of blood--”

“What I want?”
“Thor’s arrived. He’s coming to fetch you, Iron Man.” Natasha reported.

Tony knows, that he was playing those kind of mind tricks. But he knew Loki was right. It only made him angrier.

“It must be so tiring to hide under all those masks, Stark.” Tony didn’t even realize that Loki was only about a meter away. He couldn’t move a muscle. Loki brought his hand up and pressed it on his chest. He was sent to sleep, and the last thing Tony could make out was a blur of lightning.

--

“He seems alright, except for the injury on his left shoulder. But that is not enough to knock him out.”

“Then what did?”

“Exactly.”

Beep

Beep

Beep

He peeled his eyes open, fluorescent light abusing his eyelids. A grunt. Tony’s throat felt impossibly dry. He winced a little, as he tried sitting up, left shoulder burning.

“Hey, easy Tony. Lie down.” It sounded more like an order than a request. But he was thankful to be woken up with Captain America by his bedside. Slowly, a hand gently pushed his chest down to the bed, and the mouth of a water bottle was pressed to his lips, then tipped. Tony gulped down every single drop, breathing heavily.

His vision cleared. Clint and Natasha were on his right, Bruce was sitting by his feet on the bed.

“Did you know that JARVIS said lingerie?” Are the first words Tony rasped out, eliciting light chuckles from his teammates.

A few moments, Steve spoke out. “What happened, Tony? With Loki on the rooftop.”

Tony waved off his hand, “Ah, you know the villain speech.” Tony pauses. But then what was he doing on a hospital bed with only a shoulder injury? “He did something.”

The team’s attention were fixed on him, anticipating his next words.

“He put a hand on my chest plate--” Tony’s own hand came to brush over the arc reactor. “And then I was unconscious. Last thing I saw was Thor’s lightning.”

“We should run a check on you, Anthony. You were hit with a spell. Loki’s tricks never end well.” Thor suggested, and the team settled on the idea. Tony suddenly felt the dull pain on his shoulder, and his eyebrow twitched at the sudden jarring pain. He should be used to this kind of pain but somehow-- somehow this time.

The team abruptly stopped talking. Their attention was on him again, and Tony belatedly realizes that his nose was scrunching up and tears were swelling on his eyes.

He blinked, and it rolls down his cheek. “Uh- Tony?” Bruce calls out gently. As if he was made of a fucking flower.

He started sobbing and --- Why the fuck is he crying? This was really alarming and-- “S-s-on of a bitch.” He croaked.

The team exchanged worrying looks, and Steve put a hand on his back. “What’s happening? What’s wrong, Tony?”

“I don’t know-- It’s” A hiccup “It’s not me, really--”

The whole room of Avengers goes chaos until Doctor Strange arrives.

--

Tony still hasn’t stopped crying. His throat was hurting and his eyes stinging. It was really super annoying and if someone could die of annoyance, Tony would be a fucking mummy.

“It’s Loki’s spell.” Stephen states, and he settles to a speech of wizard bullshit that none of the Avengers except Thor could understand.

Everyone made frustrated noises, until Stephen panned out, “Strengthens the emotion one feels, making Tony cry over something stupid like, a paper cut.”

“How-- how do I stop crying?”

The sorcerer physically straightens up, brushing off something nonchalantly off his cloak. “Easy. You tell the truth why you are crying at the first place. I assume Loki had something bigger planned, but seeing Thor had interfered half-way through, he only managed to pull out an emotion spell.”

Doctor Strange leaves after agreeing to return with a reverse spell. Loki’s spells were always complicated. Tony thinks why he was crying. Hard. making Tony cry over something stupid like, a paper cut.. Pain?

It was embarrassing and stupid with all the tears thing but Steve never left his side, smoothing a palm at the small arch of his back. Well, that definitely did nothing to help his idiotic crush on Steve--

“My shoulder--” He breathes out. Clint stopped eating his nuts, Natasha leaned closer to his space and Bruce held his breath.

“My shoulder hurts.”

His body slowly stopped shaking.

“Fucking hell.” Tony stops crying.

--

Tony’s life turned upside-down as soon as they reach the Avengers Tower.

--

It was movie night after a (sort of) victorious fight with Loki, and Tony grabs to bowls of popcorn, making a beeline to the cozy seat next to a certain super soldier. He was almost there until Clint popped out from nowhere-- claiming the spot next to Steve on the couch.

He nearly dropped the bowl out of the pang of disappointment that crashed on him. Tony thought it would be fine, so he marched along, shoved one bowl to Steve’s arms and sat on the floor between Bruce’s legs.

Steve, still kind of shocked at Tony’s sudden behaviour, sets the bowl of popcorn on the table.

Fine. So Tony couldn’t sit next to him. And Steve wouldn’t even protest because why the hell would he do that? Clint is fine and Tony’s nothing he probably even preferred Clint’s presence than Tony’s annoying self--

He heard Natasha sigh, and he felt Bruce’s soft hands combing back his hair. He realizes that everyone was around, except the screen was still black. They haven’t started the movie.

“Tony. What’s the matter?” He was crying. Tony sniffled. Turned his face and snuggled into Bruce’s thigh.

“N-nothing.” Couldn’t they just start the movie? Spare his embarrassment. Natasha’s voice calmed him down. “Tony. You have to tell us. C’mon. Don’t shy out.” It was like coaxing a cat down a tree or something--

Steve was looking at him with an unreadable expression. Tony buried his face back into Bruce’s thigh. No way in hell was he going to say that he was crying because he couldn’t sit next to Steve.

Holy fuck. He really had to say that.

He attempted a lie. “My foot got stuck on the corner of a table. Hurts.” But he quickly regretted that when more tears streamed down his face, and he was full out crying. Oh fuck.

“Tony, you can’t lie, Strange said that didn’t he?” Clint quipped. Even Clint look kind of worried.

Steve was frowning the I Am Trying To Figure Out Something Frown. Someone save him, really. How irony is it to ask for a hero in his life when he himself was the hero. Tony would kill himself if he told them what was making him cry like it was the end of the world. Clint would die laughing. God, he hates Loki. God. Heheh.

Bruce’s fingers never stopped stroking his hair gently. He should call Pepper. This was going to be his next encounter with death. He mans up.

“S--Steve--” He had to say it, huh. “Steve doesn’t want to sit with-- with me.” He hopes a villain will attack him right at that moment. No one laughed.

“That’s not right, Tony.” Natasha comforts him, and she shot a Look at Steve. Cap cleared his throat, and Tony couldn’t really care about anything else, he just wanted to die, and everyone should fucking laugh and that would honestly make him feel better.

“Tony. Sit next to me.” Steve patted the space next to him with a reassuring smile, and Tony felt his breathing slowly evening.

He staggered, and plopped down next to Cap.

Huh. He blinks once, twice. No tears.

“You stopped!” Clint says the obvious.

--

30 minutes through the movie, and he fell asleep on Steve’s warm chest. He wakes up on his bed. Tony closes his eyes, missing the warmth of his embrace.

Miss Potts wants you ready before 11, sir.

Tony startles and falls flat on his face. He groans out a response. It’s too early to listen to Pepper yelling at him.

--

“Hey, Tony.” Steve folded the newspaper carefully, getting up and pouring himself a cup of orange juice.

Tony smiles a little at the greeting, but keeps his eyes at the coffee maker. “Cap.”

Other than crying like a baby, Tony doesn’t have any other problems. But small things hurt him, it felt like his chest was constricting, not letting him breath properly. Tony knows he acts like a child-- but this? This really burdened his teammates did it?

But they have been so nice to him lately. Probably to make him feel better.

God, he knows he has been annoying them. He must have.

“So what have you been building?” Small talk. Steve never fails to make his heart flutter.

“Nothing big. Just-- some upgrades for your uh, uniform.” Tony’s still embarrassed about what happened during movie night. He quickly erases the thought. “You wanna check it out?” He was still keeping his gaze at the coffee maker, the table was looking quite interesting, too- and the stove. Classic. High technology--

“Sure. I’d love to.” Steve replied and Tony accidentally looked up, and-- nope, he wasn’t ready for eye contact yet so.

“Tony.” The plants next to the window looked spectacular. “Yeah, I’m right here.” Tony chortled. And-- oh. That weird sculpture thing next to the elevator doors were probably Pepper’s idea--

“Tony!” Two hands gripped his shoulder and he was shaken. “Look at me, why-- why are you looking around as if you didn’t build this place.”

“Uh, Steve? Ow.” Tony mentally slapped himself because Steve moved his hands to his waist instead. Yeah, uh. Not good for the heart. He knows Steve is touching him because he doesn’t want to let Tony escape.

“You know we don’t mind about the spell, Tony.”

Tony finally-- looks up to meet Steve’s blue eyes. Steve smiles at him. “Yeah. Thanks Steve.” Tony hopes he returned the smile without looking so smitten.

--

They fought for the first time Tony was hit with the spell.

Steve Rogers storming to his lab wasn’t new, but every single time he did it, Tony mourned.

“What were you thinking, Tony?” Though he wasn’t even raising his voice, his tone was stern and it was altogether so agitating.

“I was helping out, Captain Obvious.” Tony retorted.

“Thor was more capable to tend to the situation--”

“Whatever! You just think that you’re right all the ti--”

“Is it so hard, Tony?!” Steve yelled, and Tony swallowed his retort. “Ever thought that you could have died down there?! You can’t even do something as simple as listening!! What can you do? This way you’ll only be a burden to all of us!”

Tony kept his eyes downcast.

Useless.

A burden.

Burden?

Was he?

He felt tears fogging his views. He knew all of that was true. But coming out from Steve’s mouth? Well that hurt like a son of a bitch.

His thoughts were too loud. Steve froze, shell-shocked.

So he has been telling lies just to make Tony feel better. Whatever. Just to stop Tony from crying like the usual. Whatever. So he was fucking useless to the team. He gets it. Whatever.

“Tony-- I’m-”

“Stop.” He smacked away Steve’s hand. “I’m fine. Its-- its the bruises--” A sob rattled out of him. God, he hated this. He really, really abhorred his own emotions. Why couldn’t he pretend that Steve’s words didn’t hurt him? It was-- it was all fucking true--

“Tony I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He knows Steve says things he doesn’t mean when he’s mad-- but it, it felt like. It felt like he was right. “Please, Tony--”

“I-I can leave? Alright-- I I can leave. Now, or- I can leave the team-- I kn-know I am fucking annoying, I just--” Can’t help it. Tony cut his words off, his shaking voice didn’t help the situation. He speed walks to the elevator. Steve catches his wrist.

“Don’t leave, Tony.” He pulled him onto his lap. “I didn’t mean what I said. I was just worried about you. You’re so selfless-- I just.” Tony sniffles. “Look at me.”

He complies. Steve puts a palm on his cheek, catching a tear with a thumb.

“You’re not a burden, Tony. You’re a hero.”

If this was the closest Tony could get with Steve, he might as well enjoy it. He leans into Steve’s touch. Steve tucks his head into Tony’s neck. His warm breath on Tony’s neck was making him sleepy. It had been a long fight, after all.

He lets his slumber embrace him.

--

Doctor Strange visits them. He casts a reverse spell, and Tony’s never been grateful.

--

Now that Tony Stark has returned, Steve wouldn’t really hold him like that anymore, would he? Sure, the whole thing had been embarrassing, but it was. It felt nice to tell the truth. To not have to wear masks in front of the people he loves.

Steve wouldn’t have to pat his hair and sit next to him and all the embarrassing things that Tony sort of forced him to do.

The captain was too nice to push him away, Tony thinks bitterly. This all felt horrible. He remembers Steve’s light touches, making sure he was okay, Steve putting him to bed, holding him close.

Tony was so fucked up to want more.

Not good for the heart.

--

“Lord of the Rings!” Clint hollered and Natasha threw a pillow at him.

“You watch that everyday, dip-shit.” She objected.

“Cap says ‘anything would do’ so-”

“What was that show with the sinking ship?” Thor boomed, eliciting groans from every avenger.

“Titanic.” Tony quipped, and everyone smiled at him. “Good to be back.”

Thor and Bruce chuckled, “Last time I saw you you were crying over a shoulder ache.” Clint teased, and Tony can’t help the laughter that bubbled out of him.

The team settles into their banter, and Tony offers a bowl of popcorn to Steve. He was meaning to sit next to Natasha, but Steve pulled him on the couch. He lands with a, ‘oof’ before Steve started to tickle him.

“What the--” Tony laughs, tears prickling at the edges of his eyes, “Stop-- ha” It didn’t help that Thor was suddenly joining and holding Tony’s arms so that he couldn’t wrestle his way out.

“I’m gonna-- I’m gonna summon the suit-- JARVIS!! Ha-”

“I’ll save Stark! Clint threw himself at Steve, giving Tony the leverage to wiggle out. They were all laughing giddily, and Tony feels his heart whole again.

--

That night, Steve tells him something.

“It’s good to have you back, shellhead.”

“Mmyou’re warm.”

Steve kisses his forehead.

“I love you, Steve.”

I love you too, Tony. He probably imagined that.

Tony closes his eyes.

--

He wakes up in Steve’s arms.

“Hey Tony.” His voice was deep and comforting. “I love you.”

There was so many emotions running through him. He feels the cracks in his heart mending. He was shaking.

He lets a tear escape.

“I-- you know what I am like--”

Steve kisses him.

“I know.I see you, Tony.” Steve smiles at him. “And you are beautiful.” he whispers.