Chapter Text
In hindsight it had been a ridiculous request. Embarrassment slowly flooded Sakura's cheeks as she realized how foolish she must have sounded when she had asked the world's best medic and fifth Hokage to teach her on top of all her other responsibilities. Of course she would say no.
"Ah, Lady Tsunade, I know I'm asking a lot, but if you could please just let me prove-" Sakura begins to plead, but Tsunade is having none of it. "Haruno Sakura, my answer is final. Pestering me will only result in you getting D ranks for at least a month." Tsunade's tone softens slightly, but her expression remains firm. "I am uncertain you have the qualifications to take on training of my caliber."
Sakura barely manages to suppress a wince. So it's because she's weak then. It always boiled down to this one indisputable fact, and she hates it. "I understand. Sorry to have bothered you." She replies softly. Shizune, who'd actually been accepted as the Hokage's student, gives her a look of pity. "If you're still interested in becoming a medic, volunteering at the hospital would be a good plan of action. There are a few doctors willing to train genin." Tsunade adds. Sakura nods and quickly excuses herself. Head bowed, Sakura can't help but feel remorseful for the loss of her long hair. It would have hidden her tears better. If there's one thing being a crybaby has taught her over the years, its how to do it quietly. This allows Sakura to prevent her body from making those awful high pitched hiccups and shuddering gasps that never failed to draw attention. This, at least, allows Sakura to scurry home with some semblance of dignity.
"Stupid, I've been so stupid." Sakura berates herself between sobs. What, did she think that because her teammates were being trained by Sannin she would be too? Sakura let out a harsh laugh through her tears. Stupid. Her teammates were the last Uchiha and a demon container. She was a paper ninja from a civilian family. She couldn't compete with them.But what could she do? She didn't have any teammates in the village or a sensei to teach her. She had been left behind. Again.
Sakura entered her house, haphazardly tossing her shoes to the side and pointedly ignoring the neat row of footwear she'd just disrupted with her own carelessness. Her bed was calling for her.
"I'm tired of being weak. Of being left behind." Sakura said to herself. But what could she do to change that? Could she change that? But how? Her attempt to get Tsunade to train her failed spectacularly, so what did that leave her?
Sakura bit her lip. Retiring as a thirteen year old genin? How humiliating. But being so weak as to remain a genin while all her peers moved forward was even worse. What would her teammates think? What would Ino think? Sakura grit her teeth. Her teammates might not even notice. Well, Naruto would when he got back, whenever that was. Sasuke might not even come back, and Kakashi? She hadn't seen him in ages, even though she was the only student he had left to train!
"I'll just have to find my own teacher then." Sakura declared, feeling only half as confident as she sounded. Tsunade had mentioned going to the hospital. Sakura nodded to herself, she could go there tomorrow. But for now she'd rest, after all she'd been through today, she earned it.
The hospital was open all hours of the day, but Sakura highly doubted they'd want her there at the crack of dawn. So she didn't wake up any earlier than she normally did, and took her time making her way to the hospital. Hopefully things would go better here than they had with Tsunade. Well, the hokage did send her here, and she probably wouldn't have bothered if they'd just turn her away too. Unless she lied to Sakura to get her out of her hair. Sakura grimaced, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. The sound of her name snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Sakura! Over here forehead!" It was Ino. Even if she hadn't recognized the voice, no one else would've dared to call her that. Sakura turned around and gave her rival and friend a smile, "What's up, Pig?" Ino rolled her eyes at the nickname, but smiled. Sakura couldn't help but return it with an even bigger one.
"I've got an apprenticeship, so I'm going to the hospital." Sakura blinked, had Ino gotten the same idea too? Sakura considered telling her that she was planning on obtaining an apprenticeship herself, but with the previous rejection fresh in her mind she didn't bring it up.
"So the hospital staff has agreed to teach you? That's great!" Sakura said instead. Ino's smile grew and she brightened, "Even better! Lady Tsunade herself agreed to teach me when I approached her the other day. She says I have good potential." Ino bragged. "Oh." Sakura stated, suddenly feeling unpleasant and very, very upset. "T-that's amazing Ino! I'm happy for you." Sakura told her friend. "Thanks. So what are you up to?" Ino questioned."The library. My minds my greatest strength, isn't it? I've gotta keep it sharp." Sakura tapped a finger to her head and put on a fake smile. Ino might not have bought it, but didn't question further. "You do that. The hospital is up ahead, I'll see you later." Ino left with a wave.
Sakura clenched her hands into fists. Tsunade rejected her, but not Ino. Sakura couldn't help but feel jealous. Ino was her equal, so what did Tsunade see in Ino that she couldn't also see in Sakura? Sakura felt horrible for thinking it and knew if it was the other way around Ino would probably be happy for her, but she couldn't help it. The dismay over yesterday returned in full force, with the information of Ino's apprenticeship on top of it. Sakura quickly blinked the tears out of her eyes. Was everyone going to leave her behind?!
Sakura shoved down her feelings of anger and inadequacy and marched over to the library. The sight of the library soothed her, once she was inside and surrounded by books and paper and quiet, Sakura felt almost calm. She was in her element. No outgoing blondes nor stoic avengers to outdo her here.
She browsed the shelves, looking for a book that caught her interest. There was one on medical ninjutsu, Sakura reached out for it but stopped, and let her hand drop back to her side. As useful of a skill as it would be, Tsunade's rejection was still fresh in her mind, and more importantly, she wasn't going to have people think she was trying to copy Ino. She was her own person, and she'd find something that would distinguish herself from her peers and keep her on their level. Sakura is pulled out of her thoughts as a thin but ornate book spine catches her attention.
"The Fundamentals of Genjutsu. Huh." Sakura gave the book a thoughtful look. Iruka and the other academy instructors always said she seemed to have an affinity for genjutsu, something not many leaf ninja specialized in. "Well, it could be worth looking into." Sakura decided before tucking the book under her arm. She wondered if she could find any other books on the subject while she was here.
To her disappointment, after nearly an hour of searching, she only found two other books. One that focused on the sensing and dispelling of genjutsu (which would undoubtedly be helpful) and another that was primarily about genjutsu and its affect on the mind and body. Compared to the numerous books and scrolls on ninjutsu and taijutsu, Sakura was underwhelmed. But something was better than nothing.
Finding an unoccupied table, Sakura wasted no time getting to work. None of the books were all that thick, so she managed to get started with the second book sometime in the afternoon. Sakura had been so engrossed in her readings that she was unaware of how much time had passed until her stomach began to rumble.
'It's already half past one?' Sakura blinked in surprise before stretching. She had a solid understanding of the basics of genjutsu's effect on the body and how it was supposed to be done, now it was time to attempt to actually do it. Her stomach growled again. "Maybe I can grab some lunch first."
Sakura checked out her books and picked up some dango before heading over to the training grounds, a spring in her step. It was so exciting! She'd finally have something to help put her on equal footing with everyone else. Sure, genjutsu might not be flashy or destructive like ninjutsu, but it definitely had its uses. Maybe not against the sharingan or byakugan, but she doubted she'd be facing off against any Uchiha or Hyuga anytime soon.
The training ground was empty, much to Sakura's relief, and she made quick work of one of her dango sticks before opening The Fundamentals of Genjutsu. The book contained two basic genjutsu techniques: the false surroundings technique and the hell viewing technique. Sakura read through the instructions one final time before attempting the false surroundings illusion.
Sakura carefully ran her hands through the required seals and attempted to make the flat, grassy training area look like a dense forest. The scenery changed, but not entirely. There were a few massive trees with large leaves and vines and other foliage here and there, but the area she tried to cover was large, and the genjutsu almost seemed to be spread too thin. Plants and trees lacked detail, and seemed...fake. The leaves lacked veins and distinct outlines; the bark looked too smooth. Sakura dispelled the genjutsu.
She needed things to be more detailed, and less spread out. Maybe if she tried again in a smaller area? But that wouldn't guarantee things would be more realistic. Maybe if she just concentrated harder? Sakura ran her hands through the seals again, and envisioned a dense jungle, much like the one in the forest of death. The grassy portion of the training grounds around her became dark, dense forest, with thick leafy bushes and trees that towered over her.
"It looks a little more realistic this time." Sakura mused. An improvement, but she could make it better. If she really wanted to fool people, she had to get even the smallest details correct. With that in mind, Sakura ran through the required seals and cast the illusion all over again.
Sakura had spent the better part of an hour practicing the false surroundings illusion, but she was finally satisfied with the results. "Too bad I don't have someone to test them on." Sakura sighed. She glanced over at the second technique in her book, the hell viewing illusion. Sakura had plenty of experience with it unfortunately, from both her sensei and an S-class criminal. Sakura glanced over the instructions of the jutsu. It didn't seem too complex, but she'd need someone to cast it on if she wanted to know whether or not it'd work.
Sakura considered attempting it anyway, but took a moment to check her reserves. "Nearly depleted. I guess I'll have to try later." Sakura commented, feeling slightly annoyed. Sasuke wouldn't have been winded after an hour, and Naruto had enough chakra to last him for days, even Ino wouldn't have run out of chakra yet!
Sakura let out a huff. She really needed to do something about that. Maybe the library had something that would be of use to her. With a stretch and a yawn, Sakura gathered her things and left the training ground, she'd do more tomorrow.
The library, Sakura reflected as she made her way to the training grounds, was a vastly underused resource. There was so much knowledge on such a wide variety of things, yet Sakura seemed to be the only one of her peers truly utilizing it, and even she'd only just start to take advantage of what it had to offer. She checked out two different books on chakra theory and manipulation and even found a section on various ways to increase ones reserves.
"With these exercises, maybe I'll finally have enough chakra to learn some ninjutsu!" Sakura exclaimed. Or at the very least not constantly suffer from chakra exhaustion. Still, it would be cool to learn an elemental jutsu or two later on. But she was getting ahead of herself.
"Since we have a mission later today, but I'm cutting our training session sort for today. Good job everyone. I'll see you at the Hokage tower in two hours." Someone says from the other side of the field. Sakura turns to the direction of the voice. Kurenai Yuuhi, the greatest (and as far as she knows) only genjutsu expert in Kohona. And she's with her team.
Sakura swallowed a lump in her throat at the sight of them. She couldn't make out the words, but they were happy. Kiba was doing most of the talking as he lead his teammates from the training grounds, Akamaru at his heels, while the other two listened to him and occasionally put in their own input.
Sakura wondered if they were going out to eat together. Training never failed to work up an appetite. Her team rarely ate lunch together. In fact, Sakura could count all the times on her fingers when two or more of them went and ate ramen together (Naruto, being himself, refused to eat elsewhere). Come to think of it her team rarely did anything together outside of missions and training. Once they were dismissed they had been all to eager to get away from each other. Naruto always did like to ask her on a date, and she'd be lying if she claimed she'd never done the same to Sasuke. Sakura watches their retreating figures with a twinge of jealously, before she remembers that Kurenai Yuuhi is still there, and that this could become an excellent opportunity if she let it.
Swallowing, Sakura hastily gathers her things and makes her way over to the jounin. Red eyes fixate on her. Sakura finds herself staring back, and is for once grateful for training making her all sweaty, otherwise her embarrassed flush would be all too obvious.
"Ah, hello Yuuhi Sensei." Sakura greets, unsure of how to go about asking the woman for tips on genjutsu. She gives Sakura a small smile, "Hello. Sakura, is that right?" Kurenai asks. Sakura nods, feeling slightly less nervous thanks to the woman's amiable tone. "It's nice to meet you. I, um, study genjutsu too. J-just a little! I'm nowhere near advanced. Just starting out really." Sakura finishes in a rush. She doesn't want to sound cocky, especially since she's only just gotten started.
Kurenai nods, and as if sensing Sakura's thoughts she gives her an offer, "I see. Did you perhaps want any pointers?" "R-really? I mean, only if that's okay, I really don't want to bother you." Sakura stammers. She can't help but feel surprised that the woman would bother to help her out. Maybe she just didn't want Sakura beating around the bush. Still, it was an opportunity she wouldn't let go to waste.
"I've been working on the hell viewing technique, but I don't know if it works without someone to test it on. I was also curious why the false surroundings technique seems to work better on a smaller area, or if that's just cause I'm starting out." Sakura spoke quickly, trying to get all her questions out while she had the chance.
Kurenai blinked before tapping a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "I see. Concerning the hell viewing technique, it's different from the false surroundings. The hell viewing is aimed at specific targets whilst the false surroundings is on anyone close enough who's unaware of the jutsu. The hell viewing is very basic, but like all genjutsu that don't act more similarly to the false surroundings a sort of image or 'secondary layer' can appear to show you what the target sees, as well as if you're doing it right. However you do need an actual target. Perhaps your sensei can help you with that. Kakashi has some skill in this area as well."
Sakura fidgets and is uncertain of how to tactfully explain her sensei's ineptness for teaching, but Kurenai continues, saving her the trouble. "I suppose he might not have in depth explanations. He's never been a fan of lengthy educational lectures. As for the false surroundings, it was designed for a small area, so it can't be helped. However with enough practice you should be able to modify it and make it cover a larger area, at the expense of more chakra, of course. I hope that helped."
Sakura nodded, "Very much, thank you!" Kurenai smiles, "I'm happy to give you pointers when I'm free. It's not often I find someone interested in my preferred field of expertise."