Work Text:
If someone would’ve told them a few years back that they’d eventually get married, Dazai and Chuuya probably would’ve laughed before ending that person’s life faster than he could blink. It was a ridiculous thought. And yet here they were, seven years after their very first encounter, holding onto each other’s hands as they mentally prepared to speak their vows in front of their friends, the people they both considered family. Chuuya glanced off to the side, noticing how Kouyou struggled to keep her composure and Dazai could hear Atsushi sob quietly in the background. The couple looked back at each other and stifled a laugh.
Nothing here was perfect. The slightly run down chapel wasn’t perfect, the flowers weren’t arranged the way they imagined them to be, their guests had started bickering as soon as they arrived here, Chuuya had stepped on the veil that was pinned into his hair several times already and Dazai had worked on his hair for two hours just to have it turn back to its original state. This wedding wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t the perfect fairytale moment they had imagined. And they both were surprised by how little they cared. Dazai didn’t feel bad that he wasn’t able to give his Lover the wedding he had wished for and in return, Chuuya wasn’t angry at the million things that went wrong already. There wasn’t anything extremely luxurious about this day, the most expensive thing were the rings which were waiting on a small pillow to find their home on each other’s ring finger. But it was fine. It was nice the way it was. And eventually they’d look back to this day and laugh about all the stupid little mistakes, all the miscalculations, all the silly moments. They looked at each other, bright blue meeting chocolate brown, and they knew that in a few years’ time, they’d think back to today and find it perfect. From their tacky white suits to the pastor that was talking for way longer than necessary just so he’d get enough money out of this and the music that’d be played through one of their phones at the reception because hell no they wouldn’t spend a fortune on some shady professional. It was far from what they imagined but, as cheesy as it sounded, they had each other. They were doing this together. And what was a half ruined wedding in comparison to marrying the love of your life?
“You may speak your vows now.”
Both males were ripped out of their train of thoughts as the pastor spoke up. They had argued about that part for hours just a few days ago. Dazai had insisted on Chuuya speaking up first while Chuuya thought it’d make more sense for his Lover to speak his vows first. It ended up being the redhead after all because he couldn’t stand the Brunette’s constant pouting and whining. Now that he looked at the other it was obvious why he wanted Chuuya to go first. He was nervous. Even more so than the smaller male. A rare sight to behold. The Ginger slowly let go of one of Dazai’s hands and reached up, a white gloved hand placed on a slightly reddened cheek. He originally had prepared a whole three pages of things he wanted to say in this exact moment. They were forgotten in the pocket of his waistcoat as he started to talk. He didn’t need some pre-written shit. Not today. Not now.
“You… You’re an idiot.” For other people that would’ve been a weird start to a romantic vow. But it was Chuuya and everyone around already expected something along those lines. “You’re the biggest idiot walking under the sun. Making my life difficult for three years, then disappearing from my sight for four more just to come back through my door like nothing ever happened. It’s ridiculous, you’re ridiculous and your actions are ridiculous… And I think a lot of people would expect me to say that I’d want to change it all. That I would like to turn back time to stop you from ever walking out of my life. But that’s stupid and I’m not that kind of man. I’m glad you left. I’m glad that you made that decision. And I’m glad that this decision helped you to find yourself. The person you should’ve been from the very beginning. Someone good. I can watch the stress, the pain, the struggles from all those years wash from your body a little more each day. I can see the light in your eyes, I can see that lively expression on your face and I know that it’s been right to let you leave, even though I spent days on thinking about looking for you. You needed this. It was important. And we wouldn’t stand here, right now, today, if it wasn’t for that. Because we’ve been young and stupid back when we first experienced those feelings. And knowing the two of us, everything would’ve ended in a disaster and blown up parts of the city. Things are good the way they are now. I love how things are now. I love you. I love you and your silly antics, your spontaneous plans, your dumb jokes. I love how your hair never stays in place, how your eyes light up when you read a good book, the calm smile on your lips when you’re lost in thought. I love everything that makes you so unique, everything that makes you Osamu Dazai. From good looks to strange personality. Sometimes you’re a nuisance. You’re annoying and loud and some days are exhausting. But it’s all a part of you. And I wouldn’t ever dare to ask of you to change. Because I love every single thing about you. Your silly antics and your loud laughter, your overly confident attitude. Your soft smiles and gentle words when you know I’m not feeling well. I don't love specific parts of you. I love you as a whole. Nothing more and nothing less. We’ve been through a lot of shit. And when I say a lot, I mean it. But we’re here now… and that can only mean that there’s literally nothing in this goddamn universe that could tear us apart.”
Chuuya closed his mouth once he ended speaking his personalized vows, staring up into a pair of deep brown eyes. Dazai let out a shaky breath. Chuuya always had been surprisingly good with words when it was important and while Dazai was known to be really skilled with words as well, he felt like nothing would even remotely match the Ginger’s vows. The Brunette glanced off to the side quickly, looked at a small crowd of people who was waiting for him to speak up. They didn’t invite a lot of people and Dazai usually wasn’t one to be nervous at all when speaking in front of people but the situation left him in a slight panic. This was the most important day of his life. The person in front of him was the person he’d want to spend the rest of his days with. And watching them was a crowd of people, people they both considered close, waiting and expecting Dazai to speak his vows.
Nervousness was a rather unfamiliar feeling for him. He glanced down at a pair of beautiful blue eyes. He still felt Chuuya’s hand on his cheek, his thumb gently caressing his pale skin. He saw his soon-to-be husbands lips, curved into a smile and he felt like he owed him so much. This man who accepted his proposal without a second thought, without a second of hesitation. This man who ignored every single inconvenience this day already brought along. He owed Chuuya proper vows, something deep and meaningful that expressed how thankful Dazai was for having the shorter male in his life. Something that expressed how glad he was that they’re were standing here, together, about to promise each other to spend their life as a married couple. The Brunette slowly opened his mouth. He never would’ve thought he could be so unprepared for anything. Chuuya tilted his head to the side lightly as he waited and that was when first tears spilled from Dazai’s eyes, down his cheeks. There was nothing that could express how glad he was. How thankful. There were no words to properly express just how much he needed the Ginger in his life. Chuuya brought his other hand up to gently wipe the tears away from his Lovers face. He could easily see that Dazai was upset but he knew that things would turn worse if he said something. Instead, he waited patiently. If Dazai needed time, he’d get that time. They had time now. More than enough.
The Brunette showed a shaky smile and leaned down a little to rest his forehead against Chuuya’s. “I really wish I prepared something for this moment.” He said, quietly. “I thought that it’d be easy to come up with something on the spot and yet here I stand, already crying my eyes out with no plan on what to tell you. Because… Because no words in the universe could express any of the things I feel. No words could express how thankful I am for your existence in my life. No expression fits to underline just how much I love you. And I really do love you. I can be a nuisance, I know that very well. I’m a broken man, someone who never believed to deserve anything good. And here you are, smiling at me like I’m your greatest treasure. Looking at me like I’m the most important person in the universe. And what we have now is so much more than longing gazes and secretly exchanged kisses and drunk nights. What we have are silent mornings with a million cups of coffee. Rushing out of work because that tiny, cosy apartment we live in doesn’t allow us to be late for work. Coming home exhausted and worn out each day. Ordering takeout because you’re tired and I can’t cook. Snuggling on the way too small couch and watching movies we’ve already seen so often we can speak along. Living in a chaos of books and clothes and paperwork we regularly take home but never hand in at work… This is us. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. I’m thankful for every moment I get to spend with you. Every breath you take is a breath I will take as well. You… You are my reason to live. The light I was looking for. Everything that was ever painful, every step I hated taking… It vanishes as soon as I remember that you’re here. I want to live. And I want to spend this newfound sensation with you. For days, months, years… I’m ready to do this. With you. I love you, Chuuya.”
Now it was Chuuya’s time to cry, first tears making their way down his face. Dazai moved his own hands to grab Chuuya’s again, gently pulling the gloves from them and letting them drop to the floor carelessly. They both smiled at the sensation of skin against skin. Chuuya could see through tears how Dazai grabbed the slightly smaller of the two golden rings displayed on a red pillow before looking back into his eyes. “From this day forward, let us build a home together filled with love, laughter, joy and light. When two become one we create a family, built on love. I promise you my unconditional love, tenderness and undying devotion, to not ask you to be more than you are and to love you for being you.” The Ginger could feel the cold metal being slipped onto the ring finger of his right hand and more tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He carefully took the ring he was supposed to slip onto the Brunette’s finger. “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys and keys that fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are, we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. You are my soulmate, Osamu. You are the person who loves me for me, you reveal the best part of me. I love you and I love our paradise.” He placed the ring on Dazai’s ring finger, his movements slow as if he was scared he’d drop the ring if he moved any faster. They didn’t wait for the pastor’s words to kiss. Chuuya simply reached out, took a hold on Dazai’s dark red tie and pulled him down just a little more, their lips connecting in their very first kiss as a married couple. Like everything else, the kiss wasn’t perfect. Chuuya’s lips almost missed their target and Dazai’s hands were still shaking as he placed them on the Ginger’s waist to tug him a little closer. It wasn’t perfect. But it was them. It was both of them and they wouldn’t change a single second, not a single thing.
Bonus:
“Nakahara-Dazai sounds really nice, doesn’t it~?” Dazai hummed softly and chuckled, knowing exactly that Chuuya was rolling his eyes even though he couldn’t see him. The freshly married couple was on the dance floor, slowly moving back and forth to the music that was playing from one of their phones. The venue was small, nothing out of the ordinary. They decorated it themselves. They put up chairs and tables and some flowers. It was far from being absolutely stunning or beautiful but it was enough for them. Chuuya nuzzled into the taller male’s neck. “That’s the third time you mentioned it already. I got it. You’re happy I agreed to have your last name added to mine.” He mumbled and closed his eyes. It’s not that he was exhausted, he simply enjoyed the first quiet moments they had after they had left the little chapel a few hours ago. They’ve been busy with getting to the venue, accepting congratulations, shaking hands, giving out drinks and snacks. It almost seemed like a miracle that they managed to find some time to share a dance. “I am~ Chuuya Nakahara-Dazai. I love the sound of that.” The Brunette said. “I’m sure Osamu Dazai-Nakahara would’ve been nice too but you refused to accept that.” Chuuya huffed quietly, removing his head from Dazai’s shoulder to look at the other. “Of course I refused to accept that. You’re the bride after all!” The taller male said, one hand moving away from Chuuya’s waist to tug on the veil that was still pinned into his hair. The Ginger blushed softly at that and glanced off to the side. “Shut up. None of us is the bride, we’re both men.” He mumbled. “But you’re the more feminine one~” Dazai mentioned, his hands taking a gentle hold on the short male’s hips. Chuuya lightly punched his husband’s chest. “That’s a lie and we both know it!”
The couple looked at each other before laughing quietly. They knew how halfassed their bickering was, but it still made them laugh. The ginger male placed his head back against the Brunette’s shoulder, eyes closing again as he relaxed in the loving embrace. This was it. The perfect evening that followed and eventful day. The morning was horrendous and the hours they spent in the chapel were anything but perfect. The bottom of Chuuya’s veil was ruined because of how often he had stepped on it and Dazai’s hair was a mess. Their white suit jackets and equally white shoes were thrown off to the side somewhere, too tight and too uncomfortable to wear any longer than necessary. They were comfortably resting in each other’s arms, Dazai’s placed around Chuuya’s waist and Chuuya’s wrapped around Dazai’s neck. They moved to the music, barely able to call it actual dancing. It was more of a shifting from one side to another. They shared small kisses and silent promises. It didn’t matter that things went wrong today. That the flower arrangements didn’t fit, that their suits were uncomfortable. They always end up finding perfection in each other’s arms.
“I love you…”
“I love you too…”