Chapter Text
"She defeated the Valkyrie, you know. Single-handedly killed them all." Loki said oh so casually from beside him in the lift. "Just thought you might want to think about that before heading back."
Thor smiled a little, to himself. Loki's words were flippant but his want for Thor to stay was very real. Loki was only persistent with the things he cared about.
"How do you know this? The Valkyrie died before our time." Thor said.
"The wayward Asgardian. I saw her memories." Loki said.
Thor's brow furrowed, taking in Loki's words, pondering on them. "You can do that? That's one of your powers?"
Loki looked at him. "What?"
"Seeing someone's memories."
Loki smirked. "I can wield the magic to do so. Don't worry brother, I'm not particularly eager to dwell in your memories."
Thor chuckled. Times like this with Loki were nice when they could be…brothers. And that's what suddenly made this so sad. Because brothers were all they could ever be. Anything else was robbed from them.
Well, that and the fact that Loki would betray him here shortly made this moment bittersweet.
• • •
"I'm here."
Thor smiled. Yes, Loki was here. He was being loyal, at least at the moment when Thor needed him the most. And that was enough.
But lately, Thor had been thinking a lot about their lives, the past. He couldn't help but wonder if it would have been different if Loki knew. Shit, should he even tell Loki now? The last time he found out about his half-true parentage, he went mad for years. Still kind of was.
Would another shock really do him any good?
"You're deep in thought, brother," Loki said. He had moved over to the window, looking out at the vast void of space. Beautiful and horrifying. Much like Loki himself.
"Yes," Thor said absently, moving to stand beside him. "Loki…" Deep breathe. "When you view someone else's memories…do you navigate their mind or do they guide you?"
Loki looked at him curiously, brow furrowed. Thor could see the 'why' at the tip of his tongue.
But instead, Loki answered, "It depends. I suppose it's both. Usually, what I need is at the forefront of their thoughts."
Thor nodded, "Interesting."
Loki gave him a narrow, knowing look. "It's something about me, isn't it?"
"Not everything is about you Loki," Thor said, looking everywhere but at the alpha.
"Don't be coy, brother," Loki said, just shy of barked. Like he couldn’t find the energy to be angry. "My whole life is a lie. I knew there was more Odin didn't tell me." Most of his bite was gone. He was…resigned. Almost defeated.
"What did the All-Father tell you?" Thor asked.
Loki shrugged, "Enough. I am Jotun."
Thor sighed. "Do you want to know the truth? The whole truth. No lies this time?"
Loki looked at him narrowly, "Odin told you?"
"No." Thor said, "I was there."
The alpha thought on it, longer than Thor expected him to. He wanted to reassure Loki the truth wasn't near whatever horrors he was probably imagining but he couldn't be sure it was the truth. Thor thought him, Loki, a miracle, honestly. Loki was…Loki, though. Who knows how he'd take it.
"Fine," Loki said finally. "Tell me."
"It'll be easier to show you," Thor said, turning to face the alpha. Loki's eyes lit in understanding.
He could have asked Loki if he was sure he wanted to know but…there was no need. It's been over fourteen thousand years. It was well overdue.
"Fine," Loki said, placing his palm over Thor's forehead.
• • •
"Thor, this hardly seems like an adventure," Sif said. Even though she still followed him, Volstagg, Hogun, and Frandral followed behind her.
"We are at war Sif. Don't you want the right to say you've seen war younger than everyone else." Thor said. Hardly an argument. But there wasn't a justifiable argument for why he wanted to visit Jotunheim. He simply wanted to and when he was told no, Thor was used to manipulating his way to getting what he wanted.
"Just as long as we don't end up getting killed younger than everyone else," Hogun said, yet still, he was following too.
So obviously they all wanted the same thing. They always did when they were up to no good. He was just the only one bold enough to act on it.
They had to hurry. The magic they used to conceal themselves wouldn't last too long and Heimdall, their watcher, must have noticed their absence already.
But it wasn't too much longer at this point. They were already at the docking site. They just had to be careful not to bump against anyone as they boarded the warship.
Of course, three of the five did. Immediately as they reached the ramp, Volstagg tripped and knocked down Hogun, who knocked down Fandral. Thor was the youngest of them, so he was smaller and had a more flexible maneuver around the tall and broad warriors. Sif was just a graceful being who was a natural at evading.
The three's magic immediately failed when they became acquainted with the ground and were hauled away before any words could be exchanged. Leaving room for Sif and Thor to sneak further onto the ship, in a small corner.
"They are a pitiful sight," Sif said as they watched their friends be hauled away.
"Yes," He said. "It will be a sad trip without them," Sif turned and gave him a stern look. "Fine, we'll go after them." He said, with no real intentions to do so.
They eased to the rail of the warship, a tricky task as the warriors were piling on again. Thor went through the act of climbing over as Sif hopped over the edge. And when she was gone, he sunk back to the floor.
He heard her angry whispers towards him when she realized he was gone but the ship was being started and they were rising in the air.
And suddenly, they shot forward and Thor felt the excitement bubbling in his belly.
"Brother, where is this going?" Thor could feel Loki's thought and…apprehension as if he's almost already guessed what would happen.
"Just wait, Loki."
When they landed, the warriors cleared the ship quickly, for which Thor was glad for. His magic failed not long after the last man walked off the ramp.
Thor could hear the Army General giving instructions from below the warship so the omega peeked over the rail to see what was going on.
Jotunheim wasn't as ugly as he thought it would be. The icy scenery that laid before his eyes was...oddly pretty. In a chilling way.
He realized with that thought that he was chilled but he could endure. His Aesir blood ran warm.
The warriors ran off to do as instructed when the general finished. Not long after, a projection of his father appeared and Thor was quick to duck down.
He heard his father say that the war has claimed too many lives, on both sides. He was looking to settle a peace treaty with Laufey.
The two talked a little longer but Thor's attention was lost when he heard ice cracking behind the ship. He crawled over and found three Frost Giants covering behind a frozen boulder, talking among in themselves in a foreign language.
Thor stoped and closes his eyed, looking inside his heart and opening his eyes again. He had just learned how to use the the allspeak, so the translation was imperfect. But he could understand most of it.
He caught them mid-sentence but they were wondering if they should bring the topic of a peace treaty to Laufey. Two of them were against it. One of them was tired of war.
Then, all at once they were around him.
He hadn't even known they saw him.
Having to crane his neck, he looked up at their massive forms.
"Is this not the Prince of Asgard's throne?" One said.
"An omega Prince." Another said. "I think Laufey would find this bargaining chip more useful than a peace treaty."
He yelled when chains were suddenly wrapped around his wrists. It seared his skin, a pain worse than he's ever felt in his life, even if his years were few.
Then he was dragged off at an incredible speed, screaming for his father whose projection turned around to him, calling out to him in surprise.
When they reached what Thor assumed was Jotunheim's palace, he was thrown on the ground. And Laufey was inches away from him in seconds.
He grinned, how teeth sharp and terrifying. "I didn't realize the Throne's heir was a bitch."
"I'm not a bitch. You ugly monster." Thor spat. "You are."
He realized, immediately after, that he wasn't in the position to call names. But he wouldn't take it back or cower.
"I demand you take me back to my father," Thor yelled as he hopped to his feet. "I am the All-Prince and I won't stand being bullied.
Laufey laughed, the sound cruel and mocking. "Odin should be glad for what I'm about to do. You need to be put in your place."
Thor pulled away mentally. There was no need to show Loki this.
But he felt Loki's rage. He almost hadn't expected it. It happened so long ago, Thor rarely thought of it anymore. But for Loki, this experience was fresh. His rage chased the memory, almost as if he could interfere and stop it.
But Thor instead guided him to the aftermath, when Laufey was through with him. When Laufey threw him on the ground. The unimaginable pain he was in. The incomprehensible cruelty of it.
The was no distraction from it. No peace to be found. He was consumed in pain.
"Well, All-Prince," Laufey said from above him, his voice mocking. "Do you still feel bullied?" …
Thor was conscious long enough to see Laufey get knocked down by a blast from Gungnir and the Bifrost opened above him. His mother came down, gathering him in her arms and he passed out just as they started their ascent.
• • •
He woke up to father shouting, for a terrible moment he thought father was yelling at him.
The dip in the bed beside him lifted, and he heard his mother yelling, "Odin, it is not Heimdall's fault. He's still a boy. He told us the second he noticed their disappearance. We wouldn't have found Thor without him."
There was silence for a moment before he heard a deep sigh and heavy footsteps walking towards him.
He heard his mother's voice getting further away, "Don't worry dear. I thank you for everything you've done." Her voice got too soft for him to hear the rest. He hadn't even opened his eyes in all this time.
He felt a soft touch on his cheek. "Thor are you awake, my son?"
Thor nodded as best he could, opened his eyes as best be he could. "It hurts Father. Everything hurts."
"I know darling. Go back to sleep. When you wake, the pain will be lessened."
He fell asleep at once. Probably magic, he thought when he woke up. The pain had indeed lessened but was still present. In all the places he wished it wasn't.
He shuffled. Confused slightly. About where he was. Until his eyes focused on the dark room. The door was ajar, letting a streak of light pour through.
He took great comfort in knowing he was home. In his dreams…his nightmares, he was back on a frozen, cruel world.
He saw a shadow pass by and he called out, "Hey!" Not even sure who the person was. But he needed to see somebody. Anybody.
The figure came back, opening the door. "Thor?"
It took a few blinks for him to recognize the training sentry.
"Heimdall!" Thor shouted, his arms outspread. The fellow omega came in, sitting beside him, and hugging him.
"I am never leaving your watch again." Thor said. "I hope father wasn't angry with you."
"Not for so long," Heimdall said. "Are you..." Okay, Thor thought he would ask but Heimdall trailed off, saying instead. "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Thor shook his head. "Not just yet. I'm…" He didn't even know how he felt. He laid his head on Heimdall's shoulder and tried not to cry. Tried not to think about what had happened. But he kept remembering. He kept feeling it. The pain from it all.
"It's okay." Heimdall said, "I understand."
And he did. Thor remembered a couple of years ago when Heimdall was sent from the orphanage to train at the palace, as all selected warriors did. Sending a lone omega into a sea of young, virile alphas ready for a fight was a disaster it seems no one saw coming. The older omega had to learn to defend himself very quickly.
Thor never knew any particulars. He just heard his parents fuss about unhonorable alphas and Heimdall's name was thrown in the mix.
And now, Thor understood as well.
He buried his face in Heimdall's shoulder and cried. Cried in the way he knew he couldn't in front of his parents. He knew what they would say. What his father would say anyway about how a prince behaves himself.
• • •
When he saw his father, he fussed at him about leaving Heimdall's watch for nonsensical mischief that will cost him much. Him and the child he was carrying.
His mother shushed him quickly, telling his father Thor made a mistake. And he had already learned the harsh consequences of those mistakes. There was no need to repeat them.
But Thor was shocked about something else entirely.
"Child, father?" Thor echoed. "What child?"
And that's how he found out he was carrying a tiny gift from Jotunheim.
Then they immediately informed him that the child will be aborted so he need not worry.
But that wasn't what he wanted.
"Now darling, you know that's what best. You are far too young to parent a child." His mother said as she sat beside him, hold him as he wept. "And you need to focus on learning, so you can grow up to be the great warrior and king we know you can be."
"But Mother!" Thor objected but she shushed him and told him this was best.
"All-father, if I may," Heimdall's asked shyly from the corner of the room. Odin gave him a bit of strange look as if he were going to ask how could the omega possibly have an opinion on something that was entirely their business. Which is what he would normally say, but this time he only nodded. "Perhaps you could raise the child like his brother."
"Yes, Heimdall, we've considered that. We feel this will be best." Odin said, rather briskly while Thor was grasping at that possibility because it would keep his child alive.
"Yes, my King," Heimdall said with a bow of his head. "I just wanted to ensure there wouldn't be any…regrets."
He said it in a way that was personal. Such a thing being personal to Heimdall had never crossed Thor's mind. The fellow omega was as big as the other alphas, more adept with the sword than they were. For the longest, he thought Heimdall was an alpha too.
Thor always wanted to grow up to be an omega like Heimdall. Not the submissive, weak stereotype. But strong and mighty.
Thor's parents went quiet at this, then suddenly spoke in a language Thor didn't understand. He was holding his breath, anxious.
But then his father turned to him and asked, "Thor, is that what you would want? This would be an adoption. He would be our child. Not yours." The all-mother gave Odin a look but didn't object.
"Yes father, I'll accept anything. As long as my child lives." Thor said, vehement.
Odin nodded, "So it shall be then. When the child is born, we will adopt him. Or her."
"Can I name him?" Thor asked, hopefully.
"I don't see why not." His mother said. And Thor smiled. At least…at least he can give his child that. If he can't raise him. Or her. But Thor had a feeling it was a him.
His parents kissed him goodbye and told him to rest, telling him Heimdall will be there with him. They even thanked him as they left.
Thor was surprised they even let him sit through such a scene. But Heimdall was an omega. Whom, Thor figured it was safe to assume, has gone through similar trauma.
It was even more obvious when Heimdall sat beside and there was a deep sadness in the way he looked down at his hands.
Thor slipped his hand into his, giving Heimdall a sympathetic smile that Heimdall returned. There was unspoken mutual understanding between them.
"You should rest, Thor." Heimdall told him, tucking him back in, "I'll be here when you wake so. So you won't be alone." Thor wished, for a moment, his parents had done the same thing. But they were busy running a kingdom. They couldn't always be there when he needed them.
• • •
A few months later Thor was hurled over the sink. He felt as if he'd puke up the child before it could ever be born.
When he was through, he washed out the bowl and brushed his teeth, easing back to the bed.
He was bedridden for the entirety of his pregnancy. The abuse he endured, the nature of the Frost Giants, had ravaged his body. The healers didn't think he'd be able to carry again. But that was fine. Just as long as he carried this one.
Heimdall was training this morning so he was by himself.
"Hey, little one," Thor said, rubbing a hand over the small swell in his stomach. "The healers said you can hear me now. I hope you remember my voice."
He could feel his baby bouncing around, bumping into his hand.
"I think you'll be a boy." Thor declared for the first time out loud. "And I shall name you Loki.”
Thor smiled, albeit very sadly, “You’ll be Loki Odinson in name, but always Thorson in my heart.”
• • •
His son was born in the wee hours of the morning, after a very long and painful labor. He was too early. Thor had done all he could to keep his son housed in his belly, he did everything the healers told him to do but Loki seemed quite determined to escape.
The labor took so long, there were so many complications that the healers thought it might be better to cut the child out instead but a few hours more and Thor finally felt his son pass through.
His mother was by his side quickly, wiping away his sweat and tears, telling him it was over now and he did well. His father was away, talking over a peace treat with Jotenheim. Thor would have gladly had the whole world destroyed instead.
Thor took comfort in his mother's embrace but after too long and hearing no child he started to worry, fear crept into his heart. “Mother, I don’t hear him. Is he okay?” He started trying to get up to see where Loki was but mother gently held him where he was.
“Yes, I believe so. Let the healers do their work.” She said.
Before long he heard the small cries of a baby and a small, blue form bundled in cloth was laid on his chest. His son was precious. He barely registered his Jotun form. He touched Loki’s small cheek and his baby started to change under his touch. Taking the form of an Aesir.
“What’s his name?” Mother asked.
“Loki.” Thor answered, unable to hold back his tears, “Loki…Odinson.”
His mother smiled sadly and kissed his hair, “We promise him a happy life, Thor. And you’ll always be with him. Just as a brother.”
• • •
Loki pulled away in shock and hurt, turning from him, leaning on the glass of the window on one arm. As if this realization had drained every ounce of the energy in his body.
Thor realized how shocking the truth had to be to him. He’d give Loki all the time he needed to process.
Loki chuckled, unexpectedly, after a while, “You know if you were trying to beat Odin with the most shocking revelation, you most certainly did.”
“Loki,” Thor was cautious, “are you all right?”
Loki scoffed, “I just found out my brother is actually my father because he was raped by a Frost Giant when he was a child. No Thor, I’m not alright.”
Please don’t embark on another murder streak, Thor thought.
“Yeah, well when you put it like that…” Thor said, moving towards Loki. “Will you be alright?”
Loki scoffed again, looking back out into the void of space. “It all makes sense now. Why fath-the all-father…why…everything.”
“Yes, I suppose so,” Thor said, even if he didn’t exactly know what Loki was thinking. He could guess.
They stood in silence, for quite a while. A comfortable silence despite the situation. Thor’s thoughts weaved in and out of worrying over Loki and worrying for his people. That was natural at this point though. Worrying over Loki had always taken half his concentration since the boy was born.
“Why don’t you hate me?” Loki asked, suddenly. Green eyes full of anger met his.
“I couldn’t. You’re my child, Loki.” Thor had never said it out loud. The words felt right but also wrong, like.he wasn't supposed to say it. He was almost afraid Odin would appear and tell him to never utter them again. Odin had been very adamant about Loki never finding out. But Thor didn’t regret telling him. He only wished he had told him sooner.
“Conceived in the worst possible way.”
Thor almost said there were definitely worse ways to be conceived, but that wasn’t the point, was it?
“Believe me, the second I found out about you, your conception was rarely a thought in my mind,” Thor said, thinking back on it. “I just wanted you to be okay. You’ll understand one day when you have a child.”
Another moment of silence and thought.
“I was glad you didn’t turn out like Laufey,” Thor said. That had indeed been a real fear.
“Didn’t I?” Loki said as if he had been thinking about that very thing.
Thor shook his head. “You’re a little shit, often misguided, but never ruthless or cruel.” And Thor was very aware of how just cruel Laufey could be.
"Well, All-Prince," Laufey said from above him, his voice mocking. "Do you still feel bullied?"
“I’m glad I killed him,” Loki said, his voice bitter, full of quiet rage. “I only wish I had known then so I could have done it slowly.”
And on that sentence, Loki shimmered in green and disappeared.
‘Well,’ Thor thought, ‘as far as revelations go, that wasn’t too bad. Should probably just let Loki process this by himself.’
That thought lasted exactly one second before he rushed out of his room to find Heimdall. Maybe he could see where Loki had gone.