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I had a dream once that everything would be alright. But the thing about dreams is… eventually you wake up. The nightmares crash around you, a tidal wave washing away all that was good. In the end only despair and desperation remain.
“You need to leave.” Your voice is stern. Your hands shaking. It’s too dangerous. You need him to run. To get out. To live. Did he follow you here? Yes. He did.
“I can’t just-”
“DANIEL! GET OUT NOW!” Absolute fear courses thought your entire body, unlike any you have ever felt before. You can't lose him. Not again. Not for good.
“I…” You carefully reach up laying your gloved hand on his face.
“I’ll manage. I promise.” It’s a lie. You both know it. But he relents. Starts to ascend from your place of cover.
“You better come ba-” The sound is deafening. A scream torn from his lips. Blood splashes against your face as time slows down. Daniel’s body collapses in your arms, a bullet rips through him.
“NO!” You barely hear yourself shout over the roaring in your ears. You hold on to him tightly as you lower him to the ground. There is so much blood. Frantically you press down on the wound, his head resting in your lap. It’s no use. There is too much. Not him. Please not him. “You can’t die on me now Daniel.” You brush a stray lock of hair out of his face, smearing it with blood, red tinting the golden locks.
A soft scuttle, the sound of falling rocks. Your head snaps up a snarl is torn from your throat. No one takes what is yours. They will pay for this. You will make them all regret the day that they created you. Your grip on Herald tightens. You will kill them all. The world will burn, only ashes and cinders so charred the even a phoenix wouldn’t rise will remain.
“Jed.” The soft touch against your face startles you. Who dares… You look down meeting radiant blue eyes full of pain… Daniel. “Smile for me.”
“What?” He doesn't want to see that look so full of hatred and malice on your face. Not now. He doesn't want you to become Sidestep at the moment of his death.
“You’re not going to die.” Panic. He is. You both know it. He can’t. Dread grips your heart. Alone. You will be alone. You don’t want to be alone anymore. You can’t. You drag in a shaky, choked breath.
“Please.” That single word spoken quietly from dried lips breaks you. Crushes you. Kills you more than death ever could. You can sense his fear, latching on to you, suffocating. You can’t stop the tears from falling. Anger coils like a live wire in your gut, a raptor in a cage, pacing, waiting to get free and tear apart anything in its path. How can you smile now when the one good thing in your life is fading. You press down harder on the wound, desperate to make the blood stop.
“Jed.” You meet his eyes again. “I’m scared.” His voice is barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to go…” a weak sob, “don’t want to leave you.”
Powerless. Weak. Paralyzed. There is nothing you can do and so you smile for him. Only for him. Always for him. “It’s alright.” You mutter. “You’re going to be alright.”
“Please I…”
“Shh…” You bow down to rest your forehead against his. “Shh. It’s alright Danny. I’ve got you.” You can hear the soft hitching of his breath. Feel it against your skin. It’s getting slower, more shallow, less controlled. Soon. You press down harder with one hand as you wrap the other around him pulling his body tightly against yours. Even now, he still doesn't hate you. He is terrified, but he is no longer in pain. His body has gone numb. He loves you... Your breath comes in ragged gasps, tears splashing against his pale, clammy face. His mind stills, flickering out like a candle. He’s gone. You are alone.
You carefully lay his body on the ground, rising to your feet like a specter from the grave. Rage takes over. Consuming everything. Death. Destruction. Havoc. You fight like a feral animal with nothing to lose. You hear their screams, their pleas. A grin spreads across your face as they beg you to let them live. They know that it’s futile. Their tiny minds scuttle like insects before a storm. A storm of fire and devastation. Nothing will be left. No one will be left.
You stand there among the rubble, smoke rising as the smell of burning flesh and hair fills your nose. You've done it. The farm is gone. But what good is all of this power if you couldn't protect the one thing in this world that made life worth living. Your gaze falls back to where Daniel’s body lies. Resting carefully under a crumbling wall. Your feet carry you towards him, your mind has gone blank. You stumble, body barely working. He’s so close. You fall. Knees hitting the ground hard enough to rattle your teeth. No. You must make it to his side. Your body gives out, face hits the ground, gray creeps around the edges of your vision.
An empty, broken laugh escapes your split lips as you drag yourself across the ground. You drop your head. Pulling in a desperate breath to keep hysteria at bay. It hurts. You will make it to him. Your hands dig into the rubble, slowly pulling your broken body across the charred remains of hell on earth. Everything hurts. You struggle to breathe, fight against the blackness that threatens to take you. Not yet. You can’t go yet. Not before you can hold him one last time.
You heave yourself upright, back collapsing against the wall. The sun is setting, oranges and pinks shading sky like so many others that you have watched with him. You reach out gently running your fingers along his jaw. It's paler that he has any right to be. Sun-kissed skin, no longer radiant. You run your fingers through his hair. It's soft as it always has been. He could almost be sleeping, except for the stillness of his chest and the emptiness of his mind.
Maybe they’ll find your body. Maybe they won’t. You don’t care. You never planned on surviving this. But you do care if they find his. He deserves a proper burial. He deserves to be mourned, not forgotten in this cold lifeless place. With one last desperate effort you reach out with your mind searching for any living person. Nothing. Oh well. You are tired. You just want it all to be over. The dead don’t care if they are mourned. You have nothing left. Empty. Broken. A husk of a man, now more than ever.
Daniel’s laugh. A soft sound echoing in the distance, radiant, musical. Never to be heard again.
You pull his cold, limp body into your arms. Your tears have run dry there is nothing left. “No one can hurt you anymore.” You whisper softly as if afraid to wake him. You won’t. His eyes will never open again. “ I can't hurt you anymore.”
You sit there in silence for a while, watching the setting sun. “Isn’t it beautiful?” You slur. “The sunsets here.” There is no response, no soft smile or quiet laughter. “You always said that you wanted to get away from the city for a few days. To see the stars. There are stars for miles here when it gets dark. You’ll see.” You hold him closer. The sun has almost set. Time is almost up. You press a soft kiss to his forehead, before slowly raising the gun to yours. A familiar action from years ago. No one is here to stop you this time. A shot rings out across the empty dessert. The setting sun paints the sky red. The first stars twinkle in the cold night air but no one is there to see them.