Work Text:
“Where’s Stiles?” he asks before he can stop himself.
It had been six months since Derek had learned the truth about Stiles. He should have figured it out earlier, but it had never even occurred to him. He had been feeling oddly affectionate toward the boy (not that he ever acted like it) ever since the incident in the pool with the kanima. That was nearly two years ago now, and the feelings had not only grown stronger, but had morphed into something else completely.
The feeling, it was almost…instinctual. Like the way he could pick up on Stiles’ heartbeat from miles away, or how he found his own heart thudding if he caught Stiles’ lingering scent in the supermarket. More than that, he could feel his wolf stand at attention anytime Stiles was near, giving off an overwhelming urge to protect the boy, to pull him close and never let go. It was driving Derek absolutely mad. So, out of options, he went to Deaton.
“Is it possible there’s a spell or a curse?”
Deaton looked at him in amusement. Well, he smelled like he might be amused, but his face held its usual blank mask.
“I highly doubt that, Derek,” he said lightly, bending back over the yorkie he’d been examining.
“There has to be something! I can’t get that kid out of my head, and he’s messing with my senses. He’s driving my wolf insane,” Derek hissed, nearly at the end of his rope. Just that day, he had nearly chased the boy down when he left after a pack meeting.
“Really, Derek, I’m quite disappointed in how obtuse you’re being about this.”
Derek growled in response.
“Did your parents ever tell you about mates, Derek?”
They had, as a bedtime story. The idea of mates was nearly non-existent. According to legend – really, really old legends that no one even believed anymore – an alpha werewolf could sometimes find a mate, a person who the wolf recognized as compatible after prolonged exposure. But that’s all the story had ever been to Derek: a story.
“That’s impossible.”
“Nothing’s impossible in our world, Mr. Hale. It is extremely rare, but it seems your wolf has found its mate in Mr. Stilinski,” Deaton responded casually.
Derek stiffened. No, just-no.
“Stiles. You think Stiles is my mate?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think, Derek, it matters what you and your wolf think. Your wolf already seems to be on board. It’s just waiting for you to catch up.”
Derek growled lowly before storming out of the office. Stupid vets with their stupid theories. Derek would prove him wrong.
Derek did not prove him wrong. In fact, from that day on, he realized more and more how right the druid was.
Derek worked very hard to make sure he seemed as indifferent toward Stiles as always. But he found himself slipping more each day. He would catch Stiles’ eye across the room and forget to scowl. He would perk up at the sound of Stiles’ voice. Once he failed to stop a grin from spreading across his face at one of the boy’s jokes, and the answering smile from Stiles nearly made his heart stop.
The worst part about it was that Stiles had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t know that his stupid innuendos sent a bolt of heat through Derek. He didn’t know that when he read Latin aloud from texts in that deep, honey voice it made Derek’s pants just a bit tighter. He didn’t know that when he showed up one day in a pair of ridiculously tight jeans that Lydia had forced him into, it took every ounce of Derek’s strength not to bend him over the nearest flat surface and bury himself in that sweet ass. But most of all, he had no idea what his oral fixation was doing to the poor Alpha.
The kid put everything in his mouth. Pencils, pens, gloves, straws, his shirt, his fingers – dear lord, he was practically pornographic with the way his mouth fit over various items. Derek recalled one particular incident when the teen had walked in with a popsicle. Derek had kicked everyone out early that night, and had jerked off at least three times to the thought of those plump lips wrapped around his cock.
And from the looks Erica, Isaac, and Lydia were giving him right now, he hadn’t been doing a good job at hiding any of these things.
“He’s gonna be late,” Scott said as he shut the door to the loft, drawing Derek’s attention back to the present.
“Everything alright,” Allison asked, and Derek was grateful she did because he just couldn’t. He didn’t want to give those three anymore reason to suspect something.
“He just had a really tough day and now he’s trying to get away from his dad,” Scott replied as he reached her, settling down beside her on the large couch. Derek frowned at his words before he reminded himself it was none of his business.
“Yeah, I heard Harris really tore into him today What happened?”
“I think he was up all night searching the bestiary for stuff about trolls. He was half-asleep in Harris’s class and he didn’t even have his work for English. Plus, I think all the lying to his dad is really starting to get to him.”
Derek froze. Because this…this was his fault. His ma- Stiles was suffering because of the pack. Derek had to fix that.
“If his schoolwork is suffering, he should lay off the research for a while. We can handle it if he needs to take a break to focus on that,” Derek put in before he could stop himself, and even though his wolf was roaring with rage in his head. Scott looked up, his face shocked and annoyed that Derek had been listening in.
“Yeah? I doubt he’d listen. He’s my best friend, but he’s a stubborn idiot. If I tell him to take a break, he’ll just work himself ten times harder,” Scott said. And…point. Stiles was the most contradicting person Derek had ever met.
“I’ll tell him,” Derek said. It probably wouldn’t make much of a difference, but hopefully Stiles would listen if his Alpha was talking. Who was Derek kidding? That would probably make Stiles less likely to listen. Still, Derek had to try. Stiles deserved to take some time for himself. Derek hated the thought that he was overworking himself for the pack.
“You can try,” Scott scoffed with a quirk of his lips.
Five minutes later, Derek could sense Stiles getting closer to the loft. He could hear his heart, smell his unique scent, before any of the others. His wolf was already clawing in his mind. Mate, it said, nudging him toward the door. He couldn’t help the way he perked up when he felt it. Derek wasn’t surprised the other wolves and Lydia, who rarely missed a thing, were giving him questioning looks. Really, it was a miracle Scott hadn’t figured it out yet.
Another five minutes, and Stiles was walking through the door. Derek kept his head down, pretending to be immersed in the conversation at hand. Truthfully, he didn’t even know what the others were talking about, but he had to keep some of his dignity.
“Go home, Stiles.”
Which…that may have come out a little harsher than he meant for it to, but he didn’t think Stiles would notice much.
“Wha- Dude, I just got here.”
Derek let out a sigh and turned to face him, forcing his heart to slow down as he met those whiskey eyes. He heard Stiles’ heart rate increase and saw his face flush red. Shit. Perhaps he was angrier than Derek had thought.
“And you can leave now,” Derek replied, and…great, now Stiles was glaring at him.
“What about the trolls? I’m pretty sure they’re top priority-”
“Actually, they’re lying low right now,” Derek lied easily, and he noticed Erica beside him raise an eyebrow. He felt a twinge of guilt, but remembered this was best for Stiles.
“But I found out how to kill them and-”
“And you can tell Scott or Lydia. In fact, Lydia can look anything else up,” Derek cut him off again, beginning to get frustrated. Seriously, Derek was just trying to do him a favor. Why did the kid always cut him off at every turn?
“Well, it’s still a pack meeting-”
“We don’t need you here, Stiles.” Derek accidentally let a growl out, and immediately admonished himself for losing control. What was it with this kid and messing with his head?
He saw Stiles look around the room to see if someone would take his side of the argument, but none would go against their alpha. Finally, Scott said, “Just go home, dude. Go see your Dad or something.”
Derek thought that sounded like a great idea. He expected Stiles face to brighten with the words, knowing he could see his father for a bit. He may not talk to Stiles often, but he knew the boy hated neglecting his father. However, Stiles’ face fell and Derek felt his insides twist.
“Right, I’ll just…do that, then.”
His voice sounded so dismayed that Derek’s mask slipped for just a moment, but he reined it back in time for Stiles to glare at him again before stomping out of the loft.
“Was that really necessary?”
Derek was surprised when Allison spoke up. She and Derek had come to a sort of arrangement after everything with Gerard. They didn’t get along, per se, but they tolerated one another. And neither was afraid to call the other out on their shit. Still, Derek didn’t see why she was speaking up now.
“You heard Scott. He wouldn’t have done it for himself.”
“I guess. He just looked so upset,” she said quietly.
“He’s probably a bit angry, but he’ll get over it. He always does.”
Which was true. He and Stiles had shared countless arguments over the years, a few of which ended with Stiles storming out of the loft with a promise to never return. But he always did. He could never stay angry for too long, for which Derek was grateful – there had been many of those occasions where the Alpha nearly broke down a begged the boy to come back. Though he was loathe to admit needing help, he knew the pack couldn’t survive without Stiles.
But there hadn’t been any screaming or slamming of doors this time. This was minor. Stiles would come back. Derek was sure of it.
When Scott came in for the next pack meeting, alone, Derek could feel his wolf whining. Mate? It asked.
“Where’s Stiles?” Derek asked, hoping this wasn’t a repeat of last week. He was hoping Stiles hadn’t had another horrible day. He couldn’t turn him away today if he had. His wolf had missed him too much. Derek had missed him too much.
“He’s not coming,” Scott said, and Derek grew cold.
“Why not?” Erica (bless her soul) asked, saving Derek from trying to croak out the question.
“Said he had to study for Harris. I think Harris calling him out Friday really got to him, plus we have a test soon, so…” Scott trailed off, seeming just as skeptical about the excuse as the rest of them. Derek tried to school his features into his usual stoic expression. From the look on Isaac’s face, he failed.
“Good. That’s…good,” he said lamely. It would be fine, he told himself. Everything would be fine. His wolf whimpered.
A week later, Erica burst through the door, eyes blazing yellow. “What did you do?”
Derek felt his brow furrow. Erica had been a rebellious little hellion in the beginning, still was mostly, but she had grown a healthy respect for her alpha over the years. He couldn’t recall the last time she had addressed him with such anger. “Nothing recently that I can think of,” he snarked.
“Why is Stiles ignoring all of us? Did you screw something up?”
The question left Derek bewildered and panicked. Stiles was ignoring them? Why would he do that? Why…then it hit Derek. Stiles was so angry he was actually giving them the silent treatment, the little shit.
“I haven’t done anything. He’s probably still mad about last week. Give him time, he’ll cool off. You know how he gets,” Derek supplied, almost fondly. Truth be told, Stiles had done this before. But usually it only lasted for a few days at most. Still, Derek was certain that in a few days, everything would be back to normal.
Normal meaning Stiles running his mouth at sixty miles an hour. Stiles showing up at the loft randomly to grab a book for research, avoid his dad, or lecture Derek about why he should get out more often and ‘act like he wasn’t literally raised by wolves.’ In fact, Derek didn’t realize how often he saw Stiles until this past week without him. Whatever was going on, Derek hoped it would end soon.
He couldn’t stop the smirk that settled on his face as he thought of Stiles stomping in demanding an apology. He would get in Derek’s face, those cheeks flushed with rage, those lips plump and perfect…
“Oh my god, you’re thinking about him aren’t you?” Erica groaned, effectively interrupting his thoughts. “Why won’t you just fuck him already and get it over with? I can’t stand this UST anymore, it’s disgusting.”
Derek kept his mouth shut and glared at her, even as the tips of his ears turned a bright red.
Another week passed, and still no Stiles. Derek was starting to worry.
“He said he needed to have dinner with his dad,” Scott said, his face forlorn at the absence of his best friend. Though the tension was slowly rising in Derek, he couldn’t really argue with that. Stiles first priority would always be his father, as it should be.
“So, are we finally killing the trolls tonight?” Lydia asked, changing the subject. He really had to thank the smarter members of his pack one day for always knowing when to deflect.
“Yeah, according to Allison’s dad, their base is around here,” he began, pointing at the map on the table below him. “Scott, I want you and Allison to attack from the east. Lydia, you and Jackson from the south. Isaac, you and Erica from the east.”
“Guess that leaves you and me, boss,” Boyd grinned, already preparing for battle.
“Actually, I’m going to attack from the north alone. Boyd, you’re sitting this one out.”
“What?” the beta roared, but Derek held firm.
“Isaac told me you failed your algebra test.”
Boyd glared at his friend, but said, “That’s not fair. I really tried to study, but-”
“But what? Erica walked in and you couldn’t keep it in your pants,” Derek deadpanned, which was clearly a mistake.
“But Stiles usually helps him. And Stiles still isn’t talking to us because you managed to piss him off somehow, dumbass,” Erica hissed, claws popping out. Derek let out a warning growl, but she didn’t back down.
“Come on guys, we have our orders. Boyd, you can come with us. We’ll leave Mr. Alpha here alone. Maybe he can try to grow a few brain cells before battle,” she said and sauntered out the door. The rest followed quickly, expressions ranging between amusement and fear.
It had been two and a half weeks since Stiles had been around, and Derek could see things slowly starting to fall apart.
It seemed the three week mark was the worst. The excuses Scott came in with grew flimsier and flimsier. Erica refused to speak to him. Isaac…Isaac was having nightmares again.
At first, Derek couldn’t tell what was happening. At night, he could hear Isaac making muffled sounds from his bedroom down the hall. Thinking he was doing what most normal teenage boys do in their spare time, Derek fervently ignored it. It wasn’t until one night when he heard a choked off scream that he barreled into the boy’s room, claws out to attack any intruders. However, there was only Isaac curled up in his bed, whimpering and shaking.
“Isaac,” Derek called as he rushed over to wake him. Isaac jerked awake with a gasp, yellow eyes darting around the room, heart racing in his chest.
“Isaac,” Derek repeated, softer this time, his heart lurching at the fear in the boy’s eyes. “It’s okay. It was just a dream.”
“I know, I know,” Isaac panted. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s fine. Do you…do you want to talk about it?” Derek asked awkwardly. He wasn’t exactly the expert on expressing emotions, but he knew he had to be there for Isaac.
“Not really,” Isaac replied quickly, and Derek could hear the trace of a lie in his voice.
“Or you do, but you don’t want to talk to me?”
Isaac looked up guiltily. “Yeah,” he whispered.
“It’s okay Isaac. But you do need to talk to someone if this is a common occurrence.”
“They’re usually not that bad,” the boy said. “And if they are, I normally talk to-” He broke off with a whimper, but he didn’t need to finish.
“You normally talk to Stiles?” Derek guessed. His response was a nod.
And really, how could Derek not have known that? It seemed the spastic teenager had not only wormed his way into Derek’s heart, but his entire pack’s as well, which meant whatever was happening need to be fixed soon.
Scott walks in – alone – looking forlorn, and it only strengthens Derek’s resolve to fix things. A month. It’s been a month since he’s seen Stiles. A month of his pack falling apart. A month of his wolf begging and clawing at his skin. Derek knows he can’t handle it anymore. He’ll have to go see Stiles tonight.
“What’s the matter, McCall? Still upset about the little domestic you and Stilinski had today?”
And that catches Derek’s attention.
“Shut the fuck up, Jackson,” Scott yells, but then Allison is rubbing soothing circles into his back and he cools off a bit.
“What’s wrong with Stiles?” Derek asked, because at this point, keeping it a secret that he actually cared was the least of his worries.
Scott shot him a slightly confused look before answering, “He kind of went off on me after school. I kept asking him why he’s been acting weird and not showing up for meetings, and then he just started yelling nonsense.”
Derek quirked his head. He knew Stiles had been ignoring the pack, but he didn’t know he’d been acting off. Dammit, he should have asked Scott about this sooner. “What do you mean?”
Scott, thankfully, looked past his Alpha’s sudden interest in one of their human members and replied, “He said something like no one wanted him here and then thought I was calling him stupid. I don’t know. He’s been acting odd for a while, but he won’t talk to me about it.”
While Scott was talking, Derek could only focus on one thing. He said no one wanted him here. Why would-surely that can’t be right. Stiles had to know how vital he was. He was the one who didn’t want to be here. He was the one who skipped meetings and ignored his friends. But a little voice in Derek’s head responded, What if he doesn’t know that?
“Well, I think it’s about time he figured it out,” Jackson, never one to know when to shut his mouth, chimed in.
“About time he figured what out?” Derek’s voice was cold. He felt the tension in the room rise to new heights as every eye looked between him and the prissy beta. It seemed everyone could sense the fury building within him except for the idiot it was directed toward.
“You know, that he annoys the crap out of everyone. Honestly, I don’t know why he kept coming here as long as he did. It’s about time he figured out he’s not really necessary to our pack business.”
The eyes in the room were no longer jumping between the two like a tennis match. Instead, they were all fixed on Jackson and filled with disgust or rage. Derek felt the monstrous growl rising in his throat, but before he could let it loose, Erica cut in.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Whittemore?”
Jackson, who seemed to notice he was the center of attention, and not in a good way, shot back defensively, “What? You’ve all been thinking it.”
“No, actually. We haven’t,” Boyd said. It was a testament to how angry he was that he even spoke.
“If there’s anyone here we don’t want around, it’s you,” Isaac intoned.
Jackson’s eyes went wide. “What? Lydia, back me up here.”
“I’m sorry, Jackson, but enough is enough. I’ve put up with your jealousy of Stiles for months now. It’s always ‘Stilinski this’ and ‘Stilinski that.’ I’m getting really sick of it.”
“I’m not jealous of that freak! Why the hell-”
“Because we actually choose to have him here while we’re just stuck with you,” Erica said, Boyd holding her back from attacking Jackson with her claws.
“Derek, man, come on. You, of all people, have to what a waste of space Sti-”
He cut off when the growl finally made its way from Derek’s throat, and everyone else grew silent. Derek slowly stepped into Jackson’s personal space, getting his face inches away from the beta’s, his voice deadly smooth.
“I think you’re forgetting the fact that ‘waste of space’ saved not only your life, but the lives of everyone in here. Sometimes more than once. So when you can tell me that you have honestly contributed even half of what Stiles has to this pack, then you can think about maybe sharing your opinion. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”
The kid gulped and nodded quickly.
“Good,” he said before backing up and turning to the rest of the pack. “Meeting’s over. I have to go talk to Stiles.”
As Derek drove, he called Stiles to make sure he was even home. After all, who knew what the kid had been doing with his time away from the pack? However, when, after several tries, the boy didn’t pick up, Derek grew worried. When he arrived at the Stilinski home, he could sense only Stiles heartbeat in the home, which was a small relief. He scaled the side of the house quickly, and slid the window open.
“What the hell, Stiles?” he said as he stepped through, but he didn’t notice the kid’s elevated heart beat until he hear a stuttered breath of relief. Looking at him, Derek realized he must have been sleeping. And Derek had scared him awake. Perfect, exactly the impression he wanted to make right now.
“I could ask you the same thing!” Stiles screeched, relief turning to disdain quickly. “What have I told you about sneaking into my room uninvited? Totally a violation of privacy, dude. I don’t care if you’re a big, bad, Alpha.”
“I called. You didn’t answer,” he shot back, but then saw the phone sitting on the nightstand, looking like it was turned off. He saw Stiles face change from irritation to guilt, and…shit that’s not what he wanted either. He just got here and he was already fucking this up.
“Oh, right. Sorry about that,” Stiles rambled, stumbling over to his computer. Derek took in the rumpled state of his clothes, as if he had just passed out without meaning to. “Look, tell me whatever it is you need me to look up so you can get back to your pack. Though, I’m not sure why you don’t just ask Lydia to do it. She’d be a lot more help…Unless – did something happen to Lydia? Shit, was it the trolls again? I knew I should’ve-”
“Stiles, what the fuck? Lydia’s fine. The trolls have been gone for two weeks,” Derek cut in, confused and annoyed. What the hell was he talking about?
“Oh, I guess Scott forgot to mention that,” Stiles mumbled, a sad tilt to his mouth. Fucking Scott. He probably meant well, but Stiles would’ve been less stressed if he knew there wasn’t a threat around anymore.
“Wait, why are you here then?” the boy said, interrupting Derek’s thoughts. Derek balked. Did he think they wouldn’t notice his absence? He could sense Stiles’ genuine confusion, and he grew worried. Was this Stiles’ way of saying he wanted out? Derek couldn’t bear the thought.
“Why am I…Stiles, you haven’t been to a meeting in a month,” Derek stated plainly, but Stiles’ face merely looked annoyed.
“And?” Stiles scoffed. Derek felt his pulse start to race. This couldn’t be it.
“And? And you’ve been avoiding the pack. They told me how you’ve been ignoring them,” he tried to convey. He had to let Stiles know the pack was missing him, too. It was a low move on Derek’s part, appealing to Stiles’ caring nature to try and make him stay, but he was terrified of Stiles leaving the pack.
“I’m sorry, I still don’t understand what the problem is here,” Stiles said honestly, and Derek felt his heart drop.
“You don’t understand what the problem is.”
He had finally given up on them. Even Stiles, kind and understanding Stiles, had finally had enough of their bullshit, and now Derek had lost his chance. It was probably for the best, though. Stiles deserved better.
“No, I really don’t. I thought you’d be happy.”
But that gave Derek pause, because - “What?”
“Well, not happy. You’re never happy,” Stiles began to ramble, somewhat nervously, and Derek felt as though he might not entirely have a grasp on the situation here. “But, you know, less angry than usual. The betas though, they should be happy.”
“Why would we be happy that you’re not around?”
Derek had never felt more befuddled in his entire life.
“Dude, why are you even doing this?” Stiles suddenly shouted, his fake calm demeanor breaking. Derek absolutely did not jump. He was just startled. “I seriously don’t know why you’re here or why Scott keeps asking me…Oh, shit. Scott. This is some sort of misguided attempt to spare my feelings so Scott stays on your good side, isn’t it?” Stiles babbled, and Derek was struggling to keep up. “Man, just forget it, okay. It’s not like Scott’s going to leave your pack just because of me.”
“My pack…? Hang on.” Derek almost felt silly for asking, but everything up to this point led to one question. “Stiles, do you…do you not think you’re part of the pack?”
“Derek. Just stop it, okay,” Stiles said, his voice begging. “I know how to take a hint. Despite what everyone else seems to think, I’m not a complete idiot. I know when I’m not wanted, and I’d really appreciate it if you stopped mocking me about it and left me alone.”
The wolf began to whimper inside the alpha. Mate hurt, it said. Fix mate. So Derek tried, but first he had to understand what in the ever-loving fuck was going on. “I genuinely have no clue what you’re talking about or why you would think you’re not wanted.”
The glare directed at Derek was enough to make him recoil slightly. “Really? You don’t remember telling me to leave and that the pack didn’t need me.”
“I never said that!” Derek denied roughly, and he could feel his heart hammering at the accusation. He would never talk to his mate in such a manner.
“Actually, you did,” Stiles pointed out defiantly.
“When? When did I ever say-” Derek’s voice cut off as he remembered. It was that night. That stupid fucking night this all began. He had told Stiles to leave for the night, be he didn’t mean…Did that mean all of this was his fault?
“Fuck.” He dropped to the bed, shame and guilt overwhelming him. Stiles, his mate, had been avoiding him. He thought he wasn’t wanted because of him. All he wanted was to help Stiles, but he somehow managed to fuck even that up. “Fuck, Stiles. That’s not what I meant. I just…”
“You just what? Because ‘go away, we don’t need you’ seems pretty straight-forward to me,” Stiles snapped.
“I didn’t mean it like that! And I never thought you would listen to me,” Derek argued. And truly, he didn’t. Stiles never listened to anything he said. He had no reason to think that occasion would be any different.
“Excuse me for actually listening when an angry Alpha werewolf tells me I’m worthless to his pack,” Stiles shot back, his voice dripping with bitter anger.
“You are not worthless,” Derek roared, barely reigning in his wolf. He couldn’t stand for anyone to think that of Stiles, let alone the boy himself.
Derek suddenly caught the scent of fear and he noticed that Stiles had backed away from him. He cursed himself again for scaring his mate. Could he not do anything right?
“That’s seems to be the general consensus. Everybody’s better off with me gone. I know it, you know it-”
“Are you blind?” Derek marveled. “Everyone is miserable without you.”
“I highly doubt that,” Stiles hissed, trying to hide his obvious pain behind a false bravado. It made Derek sick. It had been years since Stiles felt the need to hide anything from him.
“Isaac hasn’t slept in a week,” Derek began, trying to calmly tell Stiles how wrong he was. He couldn’t screw up this time. “Erica keeps griping at everyone, Boyd is falling behind in his classes, Lydia and Jackson fight more than usual, and even Allison can’t keep Scott from pouting constantly.”
“I’m sure that has nothing to do with me. It’s senior year, you know. Probably just stress-”
“Dammit, Stiles. Why do you have to be so infuriatingly stubborn?” Shit. Why did his filter never work around this fucking kid?
“I’m sorry, but no one asked you to come here. If I’m so infuriating, you can leave any time you’d like.”
“You’re right,” Derek conceded after a moment, calming himself down again. And suddenly, he knew what to say. “No one asked me to come here. I came on my own because you are important to this pack. So important that they are suffering without you. We do need you. And not just for research, Stiles. I don’t know how you ever thought that was all you were good for. You support every single one of us and you have saved each of us countless times. You keep us human. And let me make one thing very clear: you have always been and will always be a member of this pack.”
“Then why did you tell me to go?” Stiles asked weakly, nearly breaking Derek’s heart.
“I thought I was helping you!”
“Excuse me, what?” Stiles sounded disbelieving, so Derek explained.
“Scott had come in that night saying that you were doing badly in some classes and that you were late because of a problem with your father. I was trying to give you some space, maybe take some of the pressure off of you. When you didn’t show up to the next meeting, I figured you needed some more time. But then you stopped coming, and I just thought…”
“But…Jackson said-”
“Jackson?! This is seriously because of Jackson? Since when have you ever given a shit about what he says?” Oh, when he got his hands on that beta, he was going to wring his fucking neck.
“Well, I don’t usually. But what he said kind of made sense, and then you told me to go so I just figured you hated me as much as he did.”
“My god, I’m an idiot,” Derek mumbled. Not only did Stiles think he wasn’t wanted, he thought Derek hated him. How on earth could he have fucked up so badly? “Stiles, I could never hate you. I know I’m not good with talking about stuff, and I’m clearly going to have to fix that. But I always thought you knew what you mean to the pack. I thought you knew that you’re important to us…to me.”
“T-to you?” Stiles voice rose in pitch (it is not adorable, Derek, quit it) before he continued. “I mean, I guess I kind of get the pack now that you’ve explained everything, but w-why would I mean anything to you specifically? That’s just crazy, right?”
Derek let out a self-deprecating smile. He had already screwed this up so much; there really was no point in holding it back anymore. “Stiles, you’re my mate.”
Derek counted the seconds that passed in silence after that. He started to get worried when he noticed that Stiles had stopped breathing, but then he spoke.
“What?” Stiles finally said, his voice monotone. Derek’s heart plummeted, even though e had told himself not to get his hopes up.
“Look, I wasn’t going to act on it. I wasn’t even going to tell you-”
“Why the hell not?” Stiles interrupted, sounding offended. Leave it to Stiles to be insulted by an unwanted suitor hiding his feelings.
“Stiles, you’re still in high school. You just turned eighteen. I wasn’t going to put that on you, especially since I had no idea if the feelings were even reciprocated. I wasn’t going to force myself on you,” Derek said tightly, embarrassed at how desperate it made him sound.
“Oh my God!” Stiles cried out with a small chuckle.
Derek could feel his face growing hot. He never really expected Stiles to return his feelings, but he didn’t expect him to be a dick about it. Though, he definitely deserved it.
“Derek, you really are an idiot if you don’t know that I’ve been in love with you for the past year,” Stiles said, and Derek felt his heart do a 180.
Derek’s eyes darted up to his in shock. “What?” he asked.
“Jesus Christ, we totally deserve each other,” Stiles said, and then lips were covering his own. The alpha let out a gasp of surprise (it was not a squeak, it was a manly gasp), and then let himself get lost in the feel of his mate.
Stiles kissed sloppily, but with so much enthusiasm and pure want that Derek was panting with the need to get closer, closer. Stiles seemed to have the same need, pulling Derek in by his shirt. Derek felt a warm, wet tongue at the entrance of his mouth, and he groaned. It was becoming harder by the second to control his wolf. He needed more. He bit down on the boy’s lip, tugged at his hair, pushed into his space while moving him back. He needed to be as close as possible.
Unfortunately, Stiles couldn’t hold his breath for nearly as long. As he gasped for breath, Derek kept his mouth attached to any piece of skin available. He worried at the flesh at the boy’s collarbone with his tongue.
“Fuck, we could have been doing this for months,” Stiles moaned, slighting a new fire within the wolf. Derek murmured vaguely, using his teeth now on Stiles’ neck. He was desperately fighting the urge to bite down hard, to claim. It was getting increasingly more difficult as Stiles began to rut against him, letting out soft little whimpers as he did so.
Unable to stop himself, he pushed his mate down on the bed, frantic for the feel of his mate against him in the most intimate way. Only when Stiles pulled back roughly with a gasp did he realize he’d made a mistake.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly, jerking out of Stiles grip and sitting up. This was too fast, too soon. “I didn’t mean to -”
He couldn’t get very far. The boy jerked him back down by his shirt. “Are you crazy? I am so up for this. Figuratively and literally,” he said with a pointed look downward. Derek flushed at the implication, but felt his own dick harden traitorously in his jeans.
“But your shirt needs to go, like now,” Stiles added, and Derek hated himself for his next words. His dick hated him infinitely more.
“Stiles, we’re not having sex right now.”
“Why not?” he whined before apprehension clouded his scent. “Oh shit, do you not want that?”
“What? Of course I do. Were you not paying attention the past ten minutes?” And could he also not feel how very hard and hot he was against Stiles’ leg.
“Well then what’s the hold up, dude?”
Derek struggled for the right words. “Stiles, you have to know what this means. Mates are for life, and that’s not something I’m going to push you into if you don’t want it. I was going to wait until you were older, but-”
“Dude, have you ever known me to do something I don’t want? And have not thought about it in amazing detail and length?”
Derek thought this over briefly. “Point,” he conceded. “But we should still take this slowly.”
Stiles raised an eyebrow before snaking his hand down to Derek’s hard length, and the alpha nearly came right then and there. “You sure about that?”
Derek took in a wheezing breath, cursing himself to the lowest circle of hell for refusing right now. “Just for a little while,” he said breathily, pulling the wrist into his tight grip once again.
Stiles chuckled softly, running his free hand across the other man’s cheek. “Whatever you say. But you should know I’m sure. I want this, I want you.”
And Derek couldn’t keep the smile off his face at the sincerity in Stiles’ voice. Maybe, just this once, he did something right.
So, what did you think? Let me know :)
Also, follow me on tumblr