Chapter Text
Mark's P.O.V
"Mark, I think we need to talk..." I nodded, but ti was hard to miss the hesitation in his voice, and I think we both knew that something was wrong "Yeah..." I didn't want to start the conversation in case he was wanting to talk about something else, but he had no such qualms "Mark, I've been... I had this dream, and before you call me silly, let me finish!" his cobalt eyes narrowed at me, just daring me to interrupt, and so I sat back and allowed him to talk, not that I had had any plans of cutting him off, but he seemed to have other ideas "This dream, the one where I woke up and didn't... Remember Anti?" He swallowed, pale throat bobbing slightly in the low light as he looked away from me "Jack, I don't blame you for that..." he sighed in response, not giving a clear answer before trying to forget I said anything at all "This dream, Anti was... He got ran over, but then when we went to the hospital to get him... You... You tried to kill me, but then any past scars you had... They all... Ripped open..." he shivered at the memory "But it felt so real, and it's just so... I'm scared, I don't like it..." I nodded slowly, but my eyes weren't seeing him, I was looking beyond him, trying to think, I had barely even heard him, tuning him out entirely a few moments later, his dreams were so similar to what I saw...
"Jack, I... When I was stood watching you, Anti and Matt... It was because you all looked dead, but you were all still fucking moving!" he winced back as my voice raised, but then I made a conscious effort to lower it, this conversation was ours only, the entire pack did not need to hear this "Matt, his neck was ripped open again, like how you said my scars ripped open, well, his did too, and Anti, he had tire marks raking along his face, it looked like he... He'd been run over..." he paused, standing on shaky legs before approaching me and dumping himself on my lap lazily, curling into my arms and burying his face in my neck, and I could feel him scenting me, it helped his omega calm down, and I smiled a little, holding him close as he whimpered, his voice muffled into my shirt "What the fuck is wrong with us?" It sounded as if it was supposed to be a joke, but the quiver in his voice made it fall flat, and he sighed "So you had this dream not that long ago?" he shrugged helplessly but then I had the worst thought I could possibly think of, what was worse than something being wrong with me? Something is wrong with Jack, or more accurately... Our pups...
It all made sense now, why I had envisioned an ultrasound with one single pup mangled and distorted, and why only now he had this dream, my worst fears were coming true, and all because I was so careless and just allowed Jack to have my children "Jack, do you know why I never... Let you have my pups...?" he tensed, this was obviously still a sore topic for him, "Because you thought it wasn't the right time...?" I shook my head slowly, sighing a little "I did say that, and it is partly true, but there is... Another reason... Jack, I was scared, what if I passed something onto one of our pups, something strange I had picked up when I was being tested on?" he paused, moving away from me "Wait... You're not suggesting what I think you are... Mark, please no...!" his voice began to rise, but he knew me too well... "I am not purposely losing another litter, not after they have been okay for this long, it was just a stupid dream, it's fine, really, I don't know why I brought this up-" he paused at my look "Jack, I have these... Visions, I guess you could say, little hints at something that may or may not happen, one was blood on metal and that... Let's just say it's already happened, but..." deep breaths, Mark, deep breaths "There was another, an ultrasound, healthy children, but one was... Mangled, different... I think... I think that was our pups..." he shook his head, disbelieving as he fell off of my lap and backed himself up to a wall...
"No! I don't care of one of them might be different, it'll be okay, right?!" he looked at me desperately, his eyes pleading and his hands together in a classic begging motion, but I just looked away, I wished he wouldn't look at me like that... "No, it's more than that Seán, listen to me! This thing, I was able to adapt to it, I was older, stronger, but this pups can't take it, I think it's ripping the poor thing apart... Would you really want one of our pups to have to suffer in pain?" he paused, of course, he didn't want them to be hurting, but he also wanted to be able to raise them and if he did the right thing and put it out of its misery, they would die "Jack, you only had this dream while these pups are developing inside of you, I think you've ended up with this dream because of them, they have the same thing I do..." he shivered "Mark, I don't want to lose another child!" I sighed, why wouldn't he just listen for once?!
"Seán! If your omega realises something is wrong with them, it'll try and force you to miscarry, but this late into your pregnancy, that could literally be deadly for you!" he winced, not saying anything in reply as I tried to calm down, running a hand through my hair "Listen, I think you need to at least get another ultrasound, to see if I'm right, okay?" he nodded shallowly, and we both walked back into the living room, not answering any of their questions, for now, we did not want to worry the rest of the pack. Later that day, I book Jack an appointment for two days later, and he had seemed to dread those two days, but they seemed to go so fast, and next thing I knew, I was standing there, in a hospital room with Jack screaming and crying at the doctor telling him that they had to remove those pups because they could kill him, he absolutely refused, but the ultrasound was exactly the same as what I had seen, one pup mangled and further from the others, it was dying... My stomach dropped as the doctor then turned to me "You're his Alpha, you can approve the operation for him..." Jack looked up at me "Mark, no..." I took a step back, what was I supposed to do?! I didn't want Jack to hate me, but they needed to go, they could kill him!
"Jack, please, listen to me, you need to let them go, you're strong, right? You'll be just fine, we can always have pups, later on, we don't have to have any at all if you don't want to try any more, I'm fine with that, it's your body..." Tears were dripping from his eyes, and he looked up at me helplessly, but he was still stubborn "If it's my body, why do you get to decide this, and why can't I choose to at least try and let these pups have a chance that everyone else refuses to give them?!" I winced, he did have a point, but "Jack, please, they're going to kill you before they can be born, please, think about it, about me, Anti, the whole pack, we don't want to lose you..." he looked away, and his voice was bitter as he replied "So, what, you're saying my pups have no value?"okay, that hurt.
"No, of course, I'm not saying that! You forget they're my pups too, you think I want to hurt you?! No! I just want you to be safe, and right now, you're not..." He just looked away "Fine... Just fucking do it..." I rested my head on his shoulder softly, taking his hands in my own as he sighed, he was already sat in a hospital bed, and I was beside him "Only if you stay with me...?" I looked up at the doctor, and she sighed and nodded, a lot of omegas would not have operations unless their Alphas were with them, and so they had to get used to people asking for that...
Of course, the procedure wasn't that difficult or unheard of, so it was over quickly, and the next thing I knew, he was waking up, time felt like it was flying by that day, but I took no notice of it, my mate was more important to think about right now, and of course, my heart broke when he woke up crying, and when he tried to sit up, to get closer to me, I had to push him back into the bed softly, cooing in an attempt to comfort him "No Omega, you'll hurt if you try to sit up, and I'm not going anywhere, okay?" he soon drifted back to sleep once I helped him to settle down, and then I had to face the numerous slightly angry messages from my pack mates, asking where the hell we were, the appointment was only meant to be half an hour, we had been gone for five already, and I winced as I realised I hadn't even thought to tell my pack what was going on, I was just stuck in my concern for Jack, and may of their texts became more and more concerned the longer we had been away, they kept asking if something had gone wrong, if something had happened to us, if the pups were sick, but I didn't know how to reply to them, and would it be better to tell them in person? Would Jack want to explain, or would I have to do it for him?
There were so many variables that I decided to leave it until later, quickly telling them Jack and I were fine and that all would be explained later, but I had purposely not said that the pups were okay, because I wasn't outright lying when I said that Jack and I were okay, we are, but the pups aren't, they're gone, and I had a feeling that Anti would be sad too, he knew what it felt like to have to lose a litter, and he thought that he would also be able to help us look after those pups, if they had survived and been healthy, but now another chance at being able to raise pups had been ripped away from him, he barely even seemed to care that they would not be his, as long as they were his Alpha's his omega seemed to be satisfied, he would be sad too, but nothing would compare to how I imagine Jack was feeling right now...
I continued to think, but then I realised something when Ken had tried to take my mates when I was cleaning the bathroom, I sent Felix to get him out of my sight, and he told me that Raven's pack had taken them, but... How did he get out then? Or, how did he manage to get away from his pack, and why did none of them warn us about it? There was just something about the thought that made my skin crawl, something was not right about it and I hated the thought, but I knew something was wrong, why did I not realise any of this sooner? The Doctors were soon telling me that Jack would have to stay in overnight, just so they could make sure any meds wore off properly and so they could be sure he was okay before they let him go, and they even advised that someone is around him at all times, so that he doesn't strain himself too much, but I knew he still wasn't on great terms with me, I wouldn't be surprised if his Omega was so angry at me at that moment, he had lost so many litters because of me... Does that make me a murderer? A... A child murderer?
I knew I should warn the others that we would not be coming home that night, but the thought slipped from my mind, and I didn't try to bring it back, I could worry about all of that stuff later on, right now, I had to make sure my mate would be okay, and so that was what I did, not moving from his side throughout the night, and I had hoped I might fall asleep to the soothing sound of his slow breaths, but it was no use, my mind wouldn't shut up, it felt like it was full of static and there was nothing I could do to stop it, at least I wasn't dying this time...
It was a bitter thought, but it was at least some form of comfort to my exhausted mind, and I could hear my phone, every text causing a notifications sound, but it began to get on my already frayed nerves and so I instead turned off any notifications and decided to just watch Jack rest, maybe that would calm my alpha, to see him safe in the hospital bed at my side, and then I could actually get some sleep myself as well...
I couldn't sleep, ti was that simple, but at least the night went by fast, and Jack was waking up, looking around before his eyes landed on me as he yawned and chuckled bitterly as I winced at the harsh, brittle sound "Well, I've lost even more pups now, isn't that fun? Oh well, we can just try again, even though I'll only lose them, it just repeats and repeats over and over, doesn't it? Like some horrible circle?" my Alpha crooned comfortingly, even though he was laughing, I could feel his distress through our bond, he was laughing to cover up the pain, and I hated the sound of his sad laughter, and I hoped never to have to hear it again...
Some doctor walked in a while later and told us we could leave, and there was only silence between us as I got him in the car and drove us back home, but I could still see his hand caressing his stomach softly and he was looking out of the window, his blue eyes clouded in a combination of thought and sadness that I couldn't erase no matter what, what could I even do to help him? And what about Anti? He'll be heartbroken too, he thought that he would be able to help us raise the pups, but now they were gone, and he had already had to lose two litters on his own, and one of the litters had been sacrificed to save me for fuck's sake! I love them so much, but I'm such a bad mate...
When we walked into the house, the first person to greet us was Anti, who bounded up "Are you okay? Are the pups okay?" he sounded so happy, I didn't want to have to take that away from him, but he had to know, I couldn't lie to him... "The pups are gone, Anti..." he looked down and away, and his eyes seemed less colourful, they were no longer vibrant and bouncy, but dulled and hurt as he refused to look me in the eyes, staying silent for a few moments until he mumbled a gentle "Oh..." and then he was running from my arms, even as I called out to him, but I knew there was no point trying to force him to talk to me, he just needed some time to himself, we all needed to think from time to time, and maybe that was why I let him go, seeing Jack just turn away when I looked at him, did no one want to see my face?
I decided that if no one else wanted to see me, then I wouldn't make them, instead choosing to turn into my wolf, which I hadn't done in so long, and head out into the woods, I would not force my pack to stay around me, the air in the pack house was too thick anyway, I needed to be able to clear my head a little before I returned... I soon found myself running through the trees, bounding over rocks and branches, slipping into the leaves and shaking them out of my coat, but it really wasn't as fun when there was no one there to play, so I decided to chase a squirrel playfully, but just whined as it finally escaped me and got away, was I really that out of practice...?
I found myself going home with my tail hung down and dragging through the dirt, but I really did not care, but I kept hearing something shifting, something heavy and always close, even when I had walked a far way, ti was still somewhere, was it following me? The only thing I could find was the scent as it slipped through the trees, the scent that seemed to now be turning up everywhere, that sweet, slightly floral, ambrosial scent that I just could not place, even though it seemed familiar to me, where was it... From...
Wait!