Chapter Text
The entire situation was absolutely terrifying.
On one hand, finding Lance was a relief. There had been weeks of searching with no answers and only limited clues on where the missing paladin had been taken after a mission completely blew up in their faces. On the other hand... Finding him floating in a tube of unknown liquid and strapped to various machines was less than ideal. It had taken hours to get him out. This was mainly because Shiro didn't want to risk hurting him by mistake and enlisted the help of almost every member of the coalition to ensure his safety.
Once he was out - they had thought it was a success... Up until he opened his eyes.
Then it was just ten minutes of straight Spanish. Keith had no idea what the Hell he was saying...Eventually, he began to switch to English, perhaps realizing that nobody understood what was happening. Again, this was sort of a relief... Him talking to them was good. What he was saying? Maybe not so much.
"Just tell me where I am. Please." He tried and Keith closed his eyes. He could hear Shiro murmuring to some alien space-doctors and Coran attempting to cajole Lance into getting into the Altean pod, but Lance was not having it. "Come on, I don't - I'm not going in there!" He snapped, voice sharpening towards the end as he inched away from the Altean. Hunk was on his other side, watching the scene carefully.
"Lance," He called "Who am I?"
"I don't know."
"Who is that?" He asked, pointing at Pidge. Lance's eyes flicked to her before he shook his head.
"I don't know."
"And that?" Hunk continued, nodding towards Keith. Lance's eyes narrowed.
"I said that I don't know." He growled. His hands clenched by his side, jaw tightening as he looked around the room. Keith could feel the frustration coming off of him in waves, but stayed silent. Hunk nodded immediately, backing off. There were a couple beats of silence. Shiro sighed, walking up to them with exhaustion written in his eyes.
"How are you feeling?" He asked and Lance crossed his arms.
"Confused." He spat and leaned away from the group "I wake up in the middle of...of... This!" He said, gesturing vaguely around them "Without any indication of what's going on and nobody will tell me anything!" His voice rose a bit when he spoke, a note of hysteria playing into his tone. Shiro reached out, hand hovering over his shoulder, but not quite touching him.
"This is confusing." Shiro agreed, tone placating "We're going to do our best to work it out. We're friends. You work with us and during a mission, you were captured by some enemies. It looks like they've messed with your memory a bit, but we'll figure out a way to get it back." He told him. Lance narrowed his gaze.
It was weird... Seeing him like this.
Sure, it made sense Lance would be on edge given the position he had awoken in... But it also seemed so... Out of character? This version of Lance was so tense and cautious. Almost like he expected them to turn at any given moment. It was kind of confusing in some ways. If he lost his memories then why would he know to be wary of waking up in a strange ship? He certainly didn't know. Perhaps Pidge did. By the way she was tapping at her computer though... She had other things on her mind. Keith sighed and turned away. It wasn't like he was helpful in this situation... He might as well hit the training room.
He didn't bother getting into any armor. For the sake of just venting his emotions a little, he went for the easier levels. Keith was always better at communicating with actions more so than words. It was almost like a language in itself...And swords were his favorite dialect. A parry meant something completely different than a feint or a block... And it revealed so much more than empty words that could easily be spun into lies.
"Which one are you?"
Keith paused in training to see Lance by the door. He was watching Keith warily, not fully inside the room, but edging towards it. Keith lowered his sword. He expected someone else to be with him - but Lance appeared to be alone. Strange, considering the training room wasn't the most obvious place to navigate towards when exploring the ship.
"Keith."
"Huh," Lance frowned and took a few more steps inside "You don't...Look like a Keith."
"Well, what do I look like?" Keith snorted, lowering his weapon. Lance looked at the sword for a second before frowning and letting his eyes drift back up to Keith's face.
"Hm... I don't know. A Damon maybe? Nico?"
"Those are terrible names." Keith informed him and his bayard retracted to its non-weaponized form. Lance shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"I was just saying... Didn't really mean for it to be an insult." He told him matter-of-factly "Why aren't you with the others?"
"Why aren't you?" Keith threw back. He expected this to rile Lance up or nudge in the direction of their normal bickering. The paladin only chuckled and shook his head though. He glanced over his shoulder before biting his lip.
"It's a bit overwhelming to be around them." He admitted bluntly "I get the feeling my mind likes to think a lot of things at once. I needed to find somewhere more..."
"Quiet?" Keith suggested. Lance pulled his brows together.
"Distressed."
Keith wasn't sure what that meant. He debated about asking, but Lance had already drifted away, running his fingers over some of the training weapons with interest. His hand hovered over the gun.
"You'll hurt yourself." Keith warned bluntly. He would admit - if pressed - that the normal version of Lance was pretty skilled with a gun. He doubted the skills came naturally though. If Lance attempted to use that thing without any memory of what he was doing then they both may end up without limbs. Lance hummed but didn't pull away.
"No, I won't."
Honestly, Keith wasn't sure what he expected. He tensed, ready to wrestle the thing away from him if he continued to be an idiot, but Lance's hand fell away.
"I hate guns." He announced. Keith snorted. "I know the other guy... Hunk, I think. He said I use one when we... Do whatever it is we do." He mused and sighed "But I know that I hate them. Something... Looking at them makes me feel this pain in my chest." He shook his head "I really... I really don't like them." He reiterated. Keith stared. He hadn't really thought about it, but... He supposed their bayards had been chosen for them. Lance wouldn't have had any say in what weapon he used. It just seemed a bit surreal that the lions, who were supposed to be able to read their souls or whatever, would pick a weapon Lance hated.
Still. He didn't say anything. Keith had never been great with conversation and Lance's announcement wasn't exactly easy to reply to. He just watched instead.
"Are we friends?" He asked suddenly and Keith reeled a bit at that.
"Uh..." He floundered because... Not really? According to Lance, they were rivals. They fought and bickered and always tried to outdo the other. But at the same time Lance had disappeared on that mission because he knocked Keith out of the way. Keith had spent the past few weeks in a stressed haze of anger trying to get him back. He was pretty sure normal rivals didn't do those kinds of things. Lance waited for the answer. "We... Sort of." He went with "It's a bit complicated."
Lance blinked.
"Oh..." He said slowly before raising his eyebrows "Oh. I... Okay. I didn't... Huh." He stuttered and for some reason his face went bright red for a moment. "How did we-"
"Lance!" Shiro strode into the room, relief playing at his features as walked over "You cannot just leave like that." He scolded "We told you to stay - Keith." The man interrupted himself, catching the paladin's eye. Keith rolled his eyes. Honestly, Shiro should know that he would be here. Shiro's eyes flicked between them. "You have to tell us where you are." He finally sighed "Just until we can get your memory back."
"Sorry." Lance said immediately and it sounded more placating than actually apologetic. He was looking at Keith, head tilted a bit to the side with a bit of wonder touching his features. Keith shifted. Lance had never looked at him like that before. It was... Strange. To be at the center of his attention without any annoyance or competitiveness attached. He found himself a little overwhelmed by it.
"Dinner is ready." Shiro prompted and Lance's gaze disappeared from him. "We made your favorite."
"What's my favorite?" Lance asked and Shiro smiled.
"Come and see." He coaxed and Lance nodded, but waited until Shiro's back was turned to follow him. Keith dropped his weapon and matched his stride. Lance's shoulders brushed against his and he was a little puzzled by the sudden willingness to trust when he had regarded everyone else with such askance. Still he didn't question it. In fact... He found himself kind of flattered.
He was the one Lance trusted. Not Hunk. Not Shiro. Not Pidge. Or Allura or Coran. Him. Why that was? He had not the slightest clue. He just knew nobody trusted him so readily before. Not like this at least. To think Lance would be the first was almost laughable.
Still... He wasn't about to complain.
Lance did not leave his side.
Normally, if someone had been stuck to his side like glue - especially someone like Lance - Keith would find himself at the end of his rope... But... Something about the situation was so new and foreign that he couldn't find it within himself to be annoyed. Lance without his memories was different, yet the same. It was strange.
Part of him couldn't help but wonder if this is how things between them could have been if they had met under different circumstances. Without the stupid rivarly. He tried to think about how it would go down. A coffeeshop, a beach, or maybe just the grocery store. What would they have talked about? What would have changed?
Of course, that's not to say Lance still didn't compete with him or that they didn't bicker. It was just... Softer now. Keith found himself unsure of how to handle it most of the time. Lance would throw out an insult and smile at him. It was warm and teasing and... Keith found himself drowning a bit in it.
"Why is my armor blue?"
"What?" Keith asked, looking up from cleaning his blade. Lance was on the couch, munching on some goo Hunk had made "Oh," He frowned when he realized what Lance was asking "Uh, well you piloted the blue lion at first. But then Black chose me as her paladin and Red chose you and Blue chose Allura."
"Why couldn't Red had just picked Allura?" Lance frowned, propping himself up on his elbows "Did.... Did I upset Blue?" He asked and Keith paused "Did I do something wrong?"
He hadn't considered that Lance would view Red's acceptance as Blue's dismissal. Keith thought back to the day he had come into his room to ask about leaving the team... That made so much more sense now.
"No." He shook his head "No, Allura just didn't fit with Red, I guess." He said, but Lance still looked bothered. His fingers thrummed on the couch.
"What are paladins of the red lion supposed to be like?" He asked quietly. Keith pulled his brows together and put the sword down.
"Tempermental. Hot headed." He shrugged "Some say volatile, but it also respects humility according to Allura." He said. Lance stayed quiet.
"And the blue lion?"
Keith wasn't sure why this line of questioning was so important, but figured Lance was trying to fill in the gaps of himself that had been stolen.
"Loyal. Loving." He said, thinking of how different and similar Allura and Lance were to fill in those roles "Lots of energy." He snorted with a roll of his eyes. Lance said nothing. Silence ticked by them and Keith tried to figure out what the Hell was happening. A silent Lance was never good. In fact, Keith wasn't sure what a silent Lance meant.
"I see." He finally said and rolled on his back so he could stare at the ceiling. Keith felt curiousity nudge at him, but said nothing. He wasn't sure how to comfort people really... He might just make things worse. He thought about some of the things Lance did when people were upset. He wasn't even totally sure that Lance was upset, but... He pursed his lips. Slowly, he moved off the couch and next to him. They were far enough apart so they weren't touching, but Lance seemed aware of presence all the same. He turned and their eyes met.
"I wish I could remember you."
The words were almost inaudible with how gently they were said. Keith felt a bit like a liar in those moments. This version of Lance didn't seem to understand how much he resented Keith. How frustrated he was with the paladin's mere existence. He should have informed him, but... He wasn't entirely sure how. He liked how Lance seemed to relax around him. How he smiled lazily and secretly at him. Keith moved a little closer for no other reason than he knew he was allowed to and Lance sat up.
"You'll remember me soon." Keith shrugged, trying to ignore the proximity now that Lance's face was inches away from his. "Shiro is working on-"
Whatever else he might have said was cut off by Lance's lips suddenly on his. Keith didn't hesitate to reciprocate that action. Hands weaved themselves into his hair and suddenly Keith's logic caught up with his actions. He jerked away, heart thudding way too quickly. Lance's eyes widened.
"Sorry!" He yelped and let go "I -fuck." He stuttered "I thought... You said we were sort of friends so I thought that meant..." He trailed off, face bright red.
Oh shit.
Keith should really work on his communication skills. Lance was still stuttering, pulling back and Keith felt a stab of panic as the retreat. He reached out and grabbed Lance's hand.
"No, no." He said before he could think better of it "I just... You didn't remember me so I didn't think you would...Do that." He finally said. Confusion flickered over Lance's face before morphing into relief.
"Oh." He said and his shoulders slumped "Okay. I was so worried I read that wrong." He breathed out, falling a bit against the couch. At Keith's lack of response, looked over at him wrinkling his nose just a bit. "We... We are dating right? I just kind of need a verbal confirmation." He laughed nervously "Because I obviously don't remember and... Yeah."
Fuck. Fuck. Say no, Keith. You better freaking say no or else this is going to bite you in the ass later. Just say-
"Yeah. Yeah, definitely."
You moron.
"It's just... We haven't told anyone yet so that's kind of why I've been...You know, distant."
You're digging yourself deeper. Might as well throw a coffin in with you because you are a dead man.
"Huh." Lance frowned "That...Makes sense. Why are we keeping it a secret?"
Remain calm. This was under control. He had this under control. Definitely.
"Um... Shiro, mainly."
"Shiro?"
"Yeah. He's... He wouldn't approve." Keith smiled weakly "We're waiting for the right time to tell him. So. Yep." He said, popping the p at the end of the word. Lance looked a little puzzled so Keith kept going because he had committed to be a moron "Yeah. Definitely can't let Shiro know...Anything."
"Shiro I fucked up."
"If you broke something of Allura's I can't help you." Shiro said, not looking up from whatever he was reading. He must have sensed Keith's panic because he looked up slowly and sighed "What happened?"
There was a pause as Keith considered the situation.
"So Lance thinks we're dating."
"You and I?" Shiro snorted and when Keith shook his head gave a soft 'ohh' before rolling his eyes "That must have been awkward to explain to him. You didn't hurt his feelings, did you?" He asked suspiciously and when Keith didn't answer, narrowed his eyes "Keith... You did...Tell him you weren't dating, right?"
Keith remained silent.
"Keith, look at me."
"I tried!"
"I can't believe this." Shiro groaned "You can't lie about that!" He scolded and Keith made a series of noises as he gestured around the room, trying to explain the situation. Shiro remained unimpressed. "You need to tell him."
"He'll hate me again!" Keith groaned
"And this time you'll deserve it." Shiro shot back "It'll only get worse if you wait, Keith." He warned. Keith nodded. He knew this, logically speaking. However the idea of sitting Lance down and telling him the truth...Seemed less than ideal. Perhaps Shiro read his mind because he sighed "Think about how upset he's going to be when he gets his memory back. That's pretty humilating."
Shiro was right. Of course he was. Shiro's always right. He was kind of an idiot sometimes, but he was the kind of idiot that was somehow never wrong about these things and Keith hated it.
"Fine." He muttered. He wasn't entirely sure why he even went to Shiro - the man just told him what he didn't want to hear and already knew. Muttering bitterly, he left the room. Right. This was fine. He just needed to find Lance and-
"Hey!" As if summoned, Lance popped around the corner with his eyes bright and wide. Keith had never noticed before, but normally there was a shadow in his gaze. The Lance he knew was usually so full of energy that Keith hadn't really thought to look for any darkness in him, but... now that it was gone it felt...Unsettling "I've been looking everywhere for you!"
"You...Have?" Keith frowned. He didn't look upset so he couldn't have found out...
"Yeah, look!" He said held out his hands. A plate of cake sat between them. Keith stared. "Hunk helped me make it. He said vanilla was your favorite. I'm more of a chocolate guy myself, but I'll forgive you for being boring, I guess." He smiled brightly and Keith wanted to cry.
This was the fucking issue.
Normal Lance was easy to be harsh and dimissing of because Lance was always picking fights. This Lance was sweet in a way Keith just did not know how to deal with. Is this how he treated everyone he liked? Because if so he suddenly understood why Hunk doted on him so much.
"Thank...You..." He choked out and accepted the plate. I felt like he was being served a bomb. Lance tilted his head, possibly noting the war of emotions currently playing over Keith's face. There was also the small chance that Keith was having a medical crisis.
"Oh. Do you not like cake or something?" Lance frowned and Keith realized he was wringing his hands "Uh..Sorry. I should have thought of that. I didn't think that through." He said quickly.
God damnit.
"No, no! I like it!" He said, almost desperately. Because if Keith wasn't used to receiving affection from Lance he was even worse at giving it. "I love it." He rectified and swallowed. Lance looked doubtful so Keith took a bite to prove his appreciation... It was pretty good. He gave a weak smiled and held out the fork for Lance to have a bite.
"I'll admit Hunk did most of the work." Lance admitted, licking his lips "But my heart and soul went into that so I think that counts for something."
Keith would tell him tomorrow. Tomorrow was good.
...God, he was so screwed.