oh waiterrrr more posts like these please!

George Costanza ass tweet

Would you like to pet me?

*Lunges at you with my claws but disappears as soon as you blink *

if i had a butler he'd kneel next to me while i scroll tumblr and i'd lazily feed him jelly beans and pet his soft coat til he purrs

I just straight up walk into corners sometimes it don't really matter

“listen to your body” what if my body says do whatever you want all the time

hey, what's going on? i heard laughter coming from your house. what's so funny? can i come in

Leaving sugar water out if anyone wants some

massive hummingbird liked "Leaving sugar water out if anyone wants some"

dad who's about to sneeze: I think I'll scream when I do it

Goes to your blog and sheds on your posts

They hate me for my redundancies. And also for my tendency to say the same thing but in slightly different ways. And for my repetition of phrases. And for my redundancies.