Adele dealt with mental health challenges after giving birth to her son that will be familiar to many new parents. In a new interview with The Face this week, the singer opened up about experiencing “really quite bad” postpartum depression when she first became a mom nine years ago.
During the interview, Adele elaborated on something she said during her Grammys acceptance speech in 2017: that she “lost a lot” of herself in pregnancy and new motherhood. “There are definitely a few elements of myself that I don’t think I’ll ever get back,” explained Adele, who gave birth to son Angelo in 2012. “More than anything, it’s the freedom of being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Going somewhere and not having to prioritize someone else.” Ever since Angelo was born, he has “obviously” been Adele’s “number one priority,” she said.
Adele, 33, said that the demands of constantly caring for a newborn baby and the huge emotional burden of becoming a parent contributed to a decline in her mental health. “Giving, giving, giving, to a baby or a toddler, when they can’t even fucking talk to you, your brain goes a bit mushy. You’re not stimulated very much,” Adele said. “In that, I also got really quite bad postpartum depression, or postnatal as we call it [in the UK].”
Figuring out how to answer the question of “what kind of parent do you wanna be” was challenging for Adele as well. “No one wants to be like their own parents, no matter how great parents they were or not. You learn how to be a parent on the go,” Adele said. “Or you start reading books, and that’s not right either, because it’s someone else’s experience of it and they’re all completely different.” Meanwhile, the lack of time to take care of and focus on herself made Adele feel like she lost her identity and her ability to have her own life. “Having no time to even brush my teeth, let alone write a record or hang out with my friends,” Adele said. “My friends, my hobbies, the things I like doing without a baby, are things that make me who I am. And I didn’t really have access to that for a while.”
While Angelo is still the center of Adele’s world, the singer is now more able to balance the selflessness of parenting with her identity outside of motherhood. “It definitely gets easier as they get older, it really does,” Adele said. “I don’t think I was ever completely selfless before I had Angelo. I still have that thing where every decision I make, I think of him first.” She continued, “It still makes me mourn myself a bit every now and then. Maybe I’m not mourning anymore, maybe I’m more yearning. A little bit like: Oh, what would I do and where would I go?”
Parenting an almost nine-year-old is also “fucking fun” for Adele. “He’s brilliant. He’s a fucking comedian, like an actual comedian,” she said. “As they get older, you can take them everywhere with you and they can tell you if they’re not enjoying something, what they want, if they’re hungry or if they have a tummy ache, whatever. It’s way easier to navigate once you can really communicate with them.”
Postpartum depression (PPD) is extremely common. Research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicates that about 1 in 8 people who give birth in the U.S. experience symptoms of PPD. It is caused by a variety of physical and emotional factors, such as plummeting hormone levels, sleep deprivation, and increased levels of stress, the Mayo Clinic explains. The psychological weight of becoming a parent can also play a role—including issues that Adele touched on, like feelings of identity loss or worrying about being a good parent, per the Mayo Clinic.
Symptoms of PPD—which usually come on about one to three weeks after giving birth—can include feelings of numbness or disconnection from the baby, being concerned about harming the baby, or feelings of guilt or self-doubt about your caregiving abilities, according to the CDC. People can also have general symptoms of depression like sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, and anger, as well as crying more than usual or self-isolating. (What sets PPD apart from the “baby blues”—feeling sad or fatigued for a few weeks after giving birth—is intensity, longevity, and interference with the person’s ability to take care of themselves and their infant, the CDC explains.)
While anyone who has given birth can develop PPD—including individuals with no history of depression who had perfectly healthy pregnancies and births—some factors that put you at higher risk include having a personal or family history of depression, complications during pregnancy or birth, and not having a strong support system, according to the CDC.
People with PPD can get better with treatment and time. Treatment often looks similar to treatment for other kinds of depression and may include a combination of therapy and antidepressant medication. (While evidence suggests most medications probably don’t affect the health of a breastfeeding infant, according to the CDC, you should talk to your doctor if you are breastfeeding and considering antidepressants.) Many new parents also simply need more help, in terms of childcare and social support. That might include reproductive and mental health care providers, friends, family, and other new parents going through similar struggles. Knowing that you are not alone in feeling depressed as a new parent and asking for help may be the most important initial steps.
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