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Reviews
Raël: The Last Prophet (2024)
How naive and gullible can one realistically be???
It starts with this ugly french guy, stupid, charmless, looking like the outcome of a botched scientific operation, who claims he's met aliens, in the most unimaginative and ridiculous way possible. I heard 8-year old kids lying more convincingly.
These aliens (The Elohim) are our creators, and they told him all the secrets of humanity, so he has to spread the word.
The poor guy didn't ask for any of that, he's just the chosen vessel (of all the people in the world, they've chosen the one who looks halfway between a clown and a puddle)
Somehow, some cuckoos are adamant he's telling the truth and devote their life (and money) to him.
They build a community, 70's style, with freedom at its core: Freedom for the leader to f... every woman, for the sake of humanity and the "message", of course. Let alone all the people living naked, in the midst of kids and all the disgusting stories that have been reported around that.
In a nutshell, a manipulating piece of sh... But to be fair, he didn't even try to hide it that much, shame on his followers. Another self-appointed prophet with a gullible audience.
I almost forgot that he had dinner with Mahomet and Jesus, who told him they were actually brothers. Who are we to dare to question that? If Rael says it, it is true, period!
And you'll have to listen to the testimonies of "Raelians", who feel they're unjustly persecuted, for the world fears the righteous ones.
You'll get the pseudo-scientist who sounds like she's taken too many Xanax, then the clueless nymphomaniac guinea fowl who was amazed by the prophet's personality and dreamt of having sex with the Elohims (This lady is probably the dumbest of them all, that's saying something!).
And a bunch of brain-dead morons who still haven't figured it out, 40 years later.
Well, it's almost painful to watch, and if it were a fiction, nobody would believe it.
Beyond ridiculous.
Lady in the Lake (2024)
So slow I could die
OMG, I don't know I made it to the 4th episode of this sleep-inducing drama.
I didn't expect it to be fast-paced and was ready to be progressively immersed into a story, a universe. But man... It's like watching wallpaper dry. Nothing like Ripley, for instance, which was slow-paced too but so intense that it kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time.
The plot is not so complicated, but it lingers on and on, for no reason at all.
I wasn't able to appreciate the cast performance because things are soooo slow that I needed to constantly force myself not to turn it down once and for all.
Which I finally did after 4 episodes, you got me, I surrender!
Wilderness (2023)
What's not to like here???
I just finished watching the show, and if it weren't for a friend recommending it, I would have let myself be turned off by the negative reviews and the low score on imdb.
I'm happy I gave it a chance.
The writing, the acting, the plot, the twists and turns, everything is right on spot.
I don't understand how can one dislike this show, or find so many things to criticize about it.
I'm really not an easy customer, far from it.
But I scratch my head trying to understand what could possibly deserve this such a low score (usually, 7 is the low bar to meet. Call this the wisdom of the crowd, but I'm almost always disappointed by a movie/show that doesn't reach this mark on imdb)
In a nutshell, I really enjoyed this, and if you're on the fence, give it a try. It's subtle, smart and gripping.
Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F (2024)
What an embarrassement. Even worse than I had anticipated.
First, you've got Eddie Murphy and his plasticky face, where every muscle is stuck in place, supposedly frozen in time. Well done, Dr Frankenstein.
But if it were only that... Everything is a mess here. The plot, the dialogs....yuck...
Can you find a more generic story? A more predictable plot? More un-funny lines? When are we supposed to laugh, please?
The movie misses its mark every single time, on every level, literally nothing works, the laziness is sweating through every pore of it. Not Kevin Bacon's finest hour either.
It's a big middle finger to the audience, like you wanted nostalgia, there you go. What, you expected us to be creative on top of that? Sh.. up and eat that crap!
In the 80's, I kind of liked Eddie Murphy but even then, I used to find him over the top and not always in a good way, more like hamming it up all the time, whilst not being as funny as he seemed to think.
But today, he has reached a new level of pathetic. Shame on you, man, and everyone involved in that ugly embarrassment of a movie.
Turning Point: The Bomb and the Cold War (2024)
Of course it can't be 100% objective, but what an amazing documentary!
It's been a long emotional roller-coaster to watch all the 9 episodes of this captivating show. So instructive, even when you think you know it all already.
What strikes me the most is how some insanely small ego-related problems, personal feuds, even misunderstandings, have had such tremendous repercussions on the history of the world as we know it, the infinitesimal stories that made History.
And how many times did we unknowingly come so close to the precipice? Makes you dizzy just thinking about it.
Also, looking back on what happened since WWII, I'm flabbergasted by how everything we live today has its roots in what we refer to as long past.
The show does an incredible job at pinpointing how one thing literally led to another, in a never-ending chain reaction. Watching this is definitely time well spent.
Sugar (2024)
That "twist"... One of the worst ever? (no spoilers)
It started off quite good.
A neo-noir thriller (seems to be in fashion nowadays), Colin Farrell as a modern-day detective, a sucker for old movies, a plot that seemed interesting albeit not the most original one.
But ok, let's take the plunge.
As expected, we've got the whole nine yards: Buried secrets, half truths, false leads, double-faced characters etc...
And then, after several episodes (some much too slow in my opinion, but never mind) where we're left guessing things, here comes the twist and... what a frustration.
Not only does it come completely out of the blue, but it simply makes no sense. It's like all the story that has patiently been built up goes suddenly down the drain.
The explanation we're given is so stupid, like an outlandish trump card that is supposed to reset the counters, so to speak. A joker from a totally different set of cards thrown on the table. And why? Why this case? What does it all have to do with the ending?
Put 2 writers in 2 different rooms, ask them to write a script, with no instructions whatsoever, and then try and merge their stories: you're more likely to get a consistent plot than this.
It's difficult to explain without spoiling it, but I was so disappointed, it felt like the hours spent watching the show ended up being a huge waste of time.
Challengers (2024)
A so-so story plagued by an incessant and obnoxious music
Reminds me of an Abercrombie store, or a supermarket, or many places nowadays, where they HAVE to fill your ears with some deafening and purposeless background music all the time. It's a blight.
It already feels annoying and out of place in those contexts. But this movie takes the cake. Yeah, it's an artistic choice... Come on! The only thing it does is ruin the experience and distract from what's going on. Even in some intimate scenes, it's there. Like flies and mosquitos flying over when you're trying to have a nice dinner on a terrace.
As for the movie itself, it's a bit of a letdown, there's nothing remotely memorable, the plot is flat and unremarkable. Please spare me the "metaphor of life through tennis" analysis, that's giving the writers a hell lot more credit than they actually deserve. Juvenile, half-baked would be more accurate.
A Man in Full (2024)
Forgettable
I recently saw a Youtube review of this, where the critic asked "why should I care about the characters involved?".
I felt exactly that. Not that it's bad, but a bit bland, not really engaging. Like something you see from the corner of your eye without feeling the need to pay too much attention.
Jeff Daniel's southern accent seems unnatural, wheezy, overkill. Maybe if we hadn't seen him in many other movies and didn't know about his actual accent, it would have worked but not here.
In a nutshell, I'd stay the storyline is a bit static. The secondary plot about Conrad (basically: How a relatively small incident can create a chain reaction and have insane repercussions on one's life) is more interesting than the main one, but obviously takes a back seat, which is unfortunate.
Hacks (2021)
Jean 10 - Hanna 0
Of all the young, talented, smart and funny actresses, why on Earth did they cast that Hannah Einbinder? She's literally unknown... and rightfully so.
Not only is she unrelatable, but also not funny, nor sexy nor endearing. In a nutshell, she has nothing going for her... nor for the show. Not to say that she ruins it, but that's close enough!
Jean Smart, on the other hand... Waouw... What can I write that hasn't already been written here? She's a whirlwind, a force of nature, with such an emotional side to her to top it all off.
The writing is also impeccable, with a few minor exceptions here and there. Great show!
Crooks (2024)
An above 7 average rating, really???
The acting, the writing, the plot, the directing, everything is below average here. Way way below.
The characters are caricatural as can be, forget about nuance! The main character is supposed to know how to pick locks, but suddenly he's a martial arts expert, a professional biker, a criminal mastermind.
There's no suspense, it is so un-engaging, with its numerous inconsistencies, holes and blatancy, its clichés and complete lack of atmosphere.
It keeps viewers glued to their screens? Maybe the ones who ate too much and fell asleep.
Not even a mid-tier show, it's painstaking on every level.
Mr. Monk's Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023)
Nice to have him back, but very weak plot and resolution
We missed that guy. I didn't even know this reunion episode had been released, and I was so glad when I found out.
Adrian has aged a lot, so do some other characters/actors, but that didn't bother me.
On the other hand, the plot and the final "reveal" are really sub-par. You can figure the whole thing out in the first minutes, it is so obvious, contrary to what the show has accustomed us to...
And also, there is no proof, no demonstration, just a vague theory that wouldn't hold water in any court.
All in all, it's quite ok and kinda fun to watch, mostly because of the nostalgia thing, but the story really deserved more work and finesse. It's a bit of a let down.
Apples Never Fall (2024)
What is there not to love???
Quite often, I see very average/bad shows get a ton of praise, and that gets on my nerves.
And sometimes, admittedly less often, a great show is subject to a totally unfounded criticism. And that gets on my nerves even more. That is the case with Apples never fall.
Haters, you're a bunch of bad faith morons. Trying to pass off as intellectuals, who guessed the entire plot ahead of time, who have such high standards blablabla...
This show is suspenseful, well written, brimming with twists and turns (even though some are a bit more predictable than others, but what show doesn't?), well-acted. I was glued to my screen.
Not a 10 because of the slightly disappointing ending and also... the mandatory lesbian couple (that inclusive thing is getting so old, and more boring by the minute), played by two ugly actresses (aka Chubby and the Male).
Monsieur Spade (2024)
Boring, disappointing, convoluted plot + sub-par acting
It had been a long time since I had felt every second of every minute drag on... I kept waiting for something remotely interesting to happen. Not in this episode? Ok, let's try the next one. Rinse and repeat.
I was expecting something worthy of a good old-fashioned thriller, a "noir", or a modern take on it. None of the above. The story is far-fetched, entangled and most of all utterly uninteresting and boring.
The writers were on a strike, probably. But so was the so-called director. Not a single actor plays convincingly.
And don't start me on the french cast performances, OMG!!! As a french guy, I feel a bit ashamed, if not appalled.
The young actress is a mess, every sentence she utters seems to be read from a prompter. But the other ones, the supposedly more seasoned ones are not far behind in terms of lame acting.
And then, there's the ending... A deliverance, I'd say. But what a ridiculous one, makes no sense, pulls of the feat of being even worse than the rest of the show, which was absolutely terrible to begin with.
Berlín (2023)
Filled with (supposed) french clichés, and obnoxious main character
As a french person, I find all the parisian tropes so ridiculous... Paris hasn't looked like this in 60 years or so, if ever. Not to mention all the "french" people in the police etc... who speak with an unfathomable spanish accent!! Making them acting so poorly on top of having laughable lines to say.
The snobbish and/or old fashioned music they play as a supposed nod to the french way of life is a major turn-off too (Vanessa Paradis, Charlotte Gainsbourg, are there
more overrated "singers", if you can call them that?).
All that's missing from this pathetic tableau is a Parisian with a baguette under his arm and a beret on his head to complete this pitiful accumulation of clichés.
Am I the only one to find Pedro Alonso (as Berlin) totally charmless yet overly pretentious? So full of himself, convinced he's always the smartest guy in the room, that he's so irresistible, when all I see is an unconvincing, ham-fisted actor.
There's nothing magnetic about him, contrary to what we are given for granted.
The rest is mehhh, ok as a distraction, but utterly forgettable.
Fool Me Once (2024)
Same tricks, different book. Another tedious far-fetched and hard to swallow story by Harlan Coben
Seems like all Coben's books tell the same story: someone dead reappearing, a bad deed from the past splashing all over the present, rich and arrogant people trying to hide their turpitude to buy their way out... All with a messy story-telling that makes the numerous inconsistencies even more difficult to swallow.
Same tricks, different book.
The guy's stuck in a loop, it gets so boring. What was once fun is now ridiculous, swollen and pretentious. How many times can one write the same book and expect people to be excited?
Also, the acting (or is it the directing?) is especially terrible in Fool me once, looks like amateur hour. WTF is that???
I love me a good crime/thriller, but that is really the bottom of the barrel, a complete and utter waste of time.
The Burial (2023)
Such a case would NEVER happen in Europe
As much as we all like to see entitled and greedy corporates take a massive hit and fall off their pedestal, the outcome of this trial has nothing to do with justice nor law.
Ok, the guy is a moron, ok he did some bad things to other people in other deals, his moral compass (or lack thereof) is way off base, but that should have had no bearing whatsoever in the current case.
We all know from the beginning that the contract had not been signed, had no deadline, and didn't prevent the seller from finding another buyer. So, there's not a shred of justification to that lawsuit.
The fact that the Loewen group guy has ten planes, twelve boats, a dozen helicopters, a thousand houses etc...is absolutely irrelevant to the matter.
The lawyer just appealed to some sort of "eat the rich" instinct within the jury, nothing more. IMHO, the plaintiff should have lost for his case had simply no legal nor contractual merit.
Wham! (2023)
A nice watch, but missing the most interesting aspect
I've been touched by the friendship between those two. Also by the level of sophistication of their music and producing.
They were so much more than a fun "boys band", the glitter was just an added bonus to their real and undeniable musical skills.
But sadly enough, there's nothing in this movie about their writing and composition process. Nothing about the core of their work.
Nothing about how these 2 boys (and especially George) became so good at writing impeccable, catchy but yet complex songs that withstood the test of time.
We never even see them playing an instrument (except for the semi-fake guitar acts by Andrew in the videos and on stage).
This documentary conveys the impact they had on the 80's musical landscape and is touching in many regards, but as a musician myself, I would have loved a more behind-the-curtain approach. How did they learn music? How did they develop that ear for smashing hits? In a nutshell, their songwriting process as I said before.
Love & Death (2023)
Jesse Plemons as a headturner, really???
First, this show must deal with the fact that Candy was released only a few months ago, with the exact same pitch and story, of course.
Second, sorry for being blunt, but I don't buy for a minute that any woman, let alone a pretty one like Liz Olsen, would fall for a man looking like Jesse Plemons.
I mean, the man is a good actor, sure.
But also the most unsexy one.
I'm pretty sure he's self-aware enough to wonder why they wanted him playing that part. "Me? Have you looked at me? Sure you want to cast me as the guy that Liz Olsen wants to cheat her husband with? What happened, Dany De Vito wasn't available?"
It may seem like a trivial detail, but it kept me off the whole time. Simply couldn't believe it.
The Menu (2022)
A menu that is hard to swallow
What an utter disaster... Just like the chef's swollen ego and snobbish dishes, this movie clearly wants to be something it's not.
Suspenseful? I don't think so. Clever? Not even close. Provocative? Maybe, in the most childish way.
How can anyone give it more than 1 poor (yet not even deserved) star? It is plain stupid, pretentious, boring.
Even the acting is terrible, how did they achieve that with such a cast?
I've been patiently waiting for anything to make sense, to no avail. It's like the writers and the director want to make you feel they're so much smarter than you. Good for them, but this Menu is definitely unpalatable.
The Company You Keep (2023)
The boredom squad would fine the writers big time
I'd love to say this show was good, captivating worth the watch etc... But it's not. Far from it.
It's superficial, un-engaging, of an appalling banality. There's nothing here you haven't seen a 1'000 times before.
There's a new "con" in every episode, each one less clever and credible than the other, the long story ark (if you can call it that) is sluggish, sloppy at best. Predictable on every level.
With the many inventive shows on offer nowadays, both in terms of substance and form, this one looks dated, brings absolutely nothing to the table.
We've seen so many series just like this one 10-15 years ago, I don't think you can expect a 2023 audience to feel enticed by it.
I like Milo and the rest of the cast, but unfortunately it's not enough to keep me hooked.
Beef (2023)
How weird... And not in the best of ways.
Maybe it's just me, but this thing makes no sense. It goes all over the place while not moving at all.
I was expecting something really different, with a structured plot, a captivating narrative, some twists and turns maybe...
Turns out, it treads water, you never really get what the point is. Many dialogues are purposeless, many scenes too.
It's like modern art, you're wondering what the f... you're looking at, while other people are in awe, and you want to ask them what is there to like.
I simply don't get it, it's chatty, messy, not funny as far as I can tell. I don't feel like the writers actually know what they're doing. Long story short, I'm bored.
Sharper (2023)
I totally disagree with the bad reviews
Ok. There are a few things here and there that can be a little bit predictable. A few less credible scenes (especially one at the end with Julianne Moore acting pretty bad), but all in all, it's a really fun and enjoyable movie.
The script is mostly good, the acting too. I wonder what the detractors would come up with, in their ivory tower. There's always people thinking they're the smartest ones in the room.
This film is absolutely not subpar. On the contrary, it's one of the rare ones that I've enjoyed lately, in the midst of all the terrible movies every streaming service has to offer. Undeniably enjoyable.
Welcome to Chippendales (2022)
What an obnoxious main character!
The show is fun to watch, except for the fact that this Steve Banerjee guy is a major turnoff.
An uptight MF with a massive chip on his shoulder, no talent, no skill, a charmless ugly moron. Every single thing he's supposedly built has been by others around him. He's ungrateful, annoying, temperamental, fickle. And his glasses, his hairdo, the broomstick up his a... Please someone slap him in the face!
Murray Bartlett, on the other hand, has become a household name these last few years, the man has such a wide range in terms of acting, he's the reason I watched the show. He's building an incredible career, totally deserved.
Shrinking (2023)
A massively overrated show that brings nothing to the table
First, it's not funny. Like at all. Second, the storyline is so flat an tedious that I had to watch in fast-forward not to fall asleep.
Oh, the guy is so smart, he tells a woman to leave her abusive husband, I guess he must have studied years to come up with that. Or he advises a violent guy to do some martial arts, another stroke of genius!
And they talk, gosh they talk... Empty words, empty sentences. Archetypal characters, dialogs you heard a 1000 times before. To me, it's simply unbearable to watch. I can't begin to fathom how much the cast was paid, let alone the writers. It's pretty awful, period.
La chica de nieve (2023)
Another show that could/should have been
I don't mind being told the same story for the umpteenth time, as long as there's some originality to the angle, the treatment, the way it's unfolding.
This looks like a bad telenovela to me. The main plot is ok, but drags on needlessly, 3 or 4 episodes would have been more than enough. It's slow, but not like "slow-burn" slow. Just treading water.
As for the sub-plot, it's supposed to be an addition, a parallel to the main one, but really serves no purpose in terms of story-telling. It only dilutes the show and shifts our focus unnecessarily, as if we needed that...
There's no surprise, no suspense whatsoever, which is unfortunate for a thriller, to say the least.