wardomnibus

Yeah, "Girl in Gold Boots" is silly, but, nonetheless, it's entertaining (in a silly sort of way). My ire is reserved for my fellow commentators. I get the impression most "reviewers" on this wonderful site are typically 21 year-old "valley" girls and boys who wouldn't know a decent film if it came up and bit them on their tattooed, hairy asses! It's the same old line: "This is the worst film in the history of the universe, blah, blah, blah." "Awful script, the worst acting I ever seen!" Uh, by what standards are these slackers judging good acting or a literate script?? If you look on most of the posts of the Top 25 Films, you'll rarely see such wholesale deprecations. Not because these films are immune from criticism but because these Neanderthals would never sit through an otherwise edifying motion picture; their equivalent 6th grade educations and terminal ADAH would not permit it! Enough about the sad, pathetic state of America's youth....

"Girl in Gold Boots" is a hoot! I have the MST3K version on tape and have watched it innumerable times; each additional viewing reveals new yuks. It's full of hilarious "curiosities", but hey - these flubbs make the movie even more endearing. For Christ's sake, it's a late-60's drive-in movie! Its "Raison D'tre" (and yes, I'm guilty of pretentiousness with the miss-spelled French!)) is "T&A" - think the "jiggle" in Charlie's Angels". What did you expect - "Casablanca"? "Citizen Kane"? Love it for what it is! For starters, the soundtrack does not jive with the "beat" of the dancers nor the lips of the singers. Of course, Buzz's teleporting moment is classic! The "Pretty Mind" sequence will never cease to crack up the room. But lest you slackers accuse me of echoing your feeble criticisms, let me state that all the gaffs in this flick are what make it so entertaining (Mike and Bots help as well!). And Greg in San Diego: If you think Michelle is unattractive, you gotta be either blind or queer as a clutchpurse!! She's a dead ringer for Angelina and has an even better body (granted, she has the rhythm of a string-haltered horse). Ditto - Joannie.

Trivia Alert: Leo (Mark Herron) was Judy Garland's 4th of five husbands!! Who da Thunk It???!! Also, what I wouldn't give for Buzz's awesome Oldsmobile convertible!!

Watched a wonderful "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" last night on Hulu.com which featured Lola Albright and was reminded of her awesome "Babe-iliciousness"!! Checked the IMDb to see if she was still breathing (and fortunately she still is!). In passing, I glanced at her filmography and noticed LLAD. Thought I'd check out the reviews for this mess just to get a couple of chuckles. I suffered through this movie TWICE while in the Army - once in a post PX theater (had no choice - it was the only thing playing) and, in Vietnam; again, had no choice as it was the only flick in the rice paddy.

I was expecting ratings in the 2 to 3 range with exasperated commentors waxing that this film would be perfect MST3K fodder. Instead, most were in Frank Rich mode proclaiming this masterlesspiece as cerebral satire of the highest order. Oh, please! My take is totally contrary. LLAD is a second-rate "Tweener". By Tweener, I mean that Hollywood experienced a painful period beTWEEN the end of Hollywood's entertainment dominance (around 1958-60) and it's Second Golden Age commencing roughly around 1972 ("The Godfather" got the ball rolling again).

The motion picture biz hadn't yet found out how to combat TV and the America was in the midst of a cultural/social/political revolution (feminism, Vietnam, Beatles, Summer of Love, Drugs, etal). The studios were clueless on how to recapture the magic in this new era - they were desperate and ventured forth in many directions with few hits and many, many misses. Some other classic Tweeners were "Panic in Needle Park", "Casino Royale", "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World", "Doctor Doolittle", "Hello Dolly" to name a couple or five.

Actually, LLAD doesn't really qualify as a legitimate Tweener - it was too minor. But it contained the essential characteristics: trying way too hard to be hip, relevant, trendy, madcap, satirical - and failing on all counts; and I don't not think the booms were intentional. My only pleasant memory of this film (other than "The End") was Ruth Gordon. Even though she was merely doing a warm up for the same wacky, eccentric role in "Rosemary's Baby", she was still endearing and funny.

Oh, BTW, I don't really remember the bunny mom being the luscious Lola Albright. I suspect she had better memories of her fine performance on "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" than the pretentious drivel that was (as is) "Lord Love A Duck"........

I ain't no Roger Ebert, let alone a Janet Flannery or a Frank Rich, but upon viewing of Dementia 13 and then reading where commentators compared this "home movie" with Hitchcock or Truffaut - well, all I can say is that these folks give new meaning to the word "pretentious". I rescued this DVD from the "Dollar Bin" and had high hopes that it would not be a piece of crap like similar first-time embarrassments from the likes of say, oh, Carpenter or Lucas. Darkstar and THX were Oscar-worthy compared to this trash. Dementia 13 would make excellent fodder for MST3K. Mike and the bots would have a field day with the absolutely unoriginal plot (murderous greedy spouses & their psycho in-laws - ZZZZZzzzzzz, snore, snore), laughable effects (was that Jayne Mansfield's head bouncing across the Irish moor - hehehehe) and the over-all amateurish look of most aspects of the project. The pacing and editing seemed good to me - except for that pathetic opening scene in the boat. Someone please point out the scariness or the suspense anywhere in this turkey. Even the King of Horror Schlock himself, Roger Corman, would have given his poor student Francis no better than a "D+" here. A more realistic assessment might be: "Coppola is arguably one of America's top 2 or 3 greatest directors but he did not come out of the gate with great or even mediocre accomplishments - he began with an abysmal piece of cheese called Dementia 13. It was so bad he used it as a model throughout his career of how NOT to craft a motion picture. but he learned and grew (okay, he stumbled alittle with "One from the Heart"), and from this disastrous beginning there eventually came 3 Godfathers a Conversation and an Apocalypse.....