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krobyn
Reviews
Bitten (2014)
BOOOOOO! Sucky show.
YOU CAN'T SLIT A THROAT PULLING THE HEAD BACK!!!!! IF YOU'RE GOING TO WRITE HORROR AT LEAST KNOW HOW PEOPLE DIE!!!! I got it off of a police series. I don't remember which one. Head back stretches everything. Makes it tight. The series would have had a higher rating by me and then you blew it. Now on season 3, episode 1; I'm done.
Sin (2003)
I watched it anyway
There were way too many holes in the plot to make this movie worth watching for everyone that likes the actors or genre. The only reason I watched the entire movie was because, as a woman, seeing the massive revenge against rapists was very satisfying. One of those rare moments in which the woman isn't continually re-victimized. I thought Oldman's performance was a little more natural than that of Rhames, but his was still decent. I can't say all women would gain anything by seeing rapists tortured. It's dicey. I gave it a 3 out of 10. My feeling is that veterans such as Rhames and Oldman should have seen all of the mistakes in dialog and plot consistency and maybe passed on it altogether. If you're up and bored in the middle of the night while it's on a movie channel, you might as well watch it.
Firefly (2002)
Huh?
I guess the majority of those opposed to this show never bothered to write about their feelings towards it since it was cancelled. Now seeing it was put onto DVD and will be having a movie next year, I can't see a reason not to express myself. I hated it. It had its good points but for the most part I felt it didn't know where to go. That and I thought that a space hooker that was revered and respected by all was one of the most ludicrous things I'd ever heard of. Women would never accept that ever. Ridiculous. It also makes me wonder about Joss that he wrote her character like that. Are they the only women he can relate to? I hope not because they're just paid to care what you think. I thought the cast was fantastic, but the show left me wanting. I'm happy for those of you that love it that can have it on DVD though. There are so many shows that should be that never will get a chance.
Riverworld (2003)
Excellent
I read the first couple of books 20 years ago, so I was a bit hazy on some things, but it seemed to be a very accurate translation from book to film. I was taken aback by Kevin Smith's appearance since I've been a fan from Xena and Hercules. I swear I thought he had a brother because the film is marked 2003. I think it's a worthy tribute to him. Realize that this movie is only the beginning. Farmer wrote many short stories and books about Riverworld. Give them and the movie a shot. You might enjoy them.
Get Over It (2001)
WASTE OF TIME
I can barely believe the positive reviews on this stinkfest. I watched this courtesy of my paid dish, so I didn't pay anything extra to see it, yet I still felt robbed. Of precious time I could've spent watching paint dry. Anything but watching this movie. Hated it. Details? Here goes, this one stars Kirsten Dunst as someone interested in her brother's(played by spawn of Tom Hanks, Colin) friend. It also features Martin Short and Shane West. Both of these guys KILL this movie. Short is a hideously annoying high school drama teacher that has delusions of grandeur and runs a play with 12 original and stinky tunes for, brace yourselves, HAMLET. So messed up. Shane West is a cute kid that has been in a few movies that were WAY better than this one. They give him this really awful fake English accent. I cringe just thinking about it. It's too bad because, if not for the play turned musical concept, West and Short, this movie could've been good. As it stands, it made me violent it was so bad. I was hostile. Don't waste your time on this one. If I could give negative points, it would get a negative 3. Seriously a negative 3. If you can watch any of it for free, watch the opening dance to Love Will Keep Us Together, lip synched by singer Vitamin C. That bit is funny in a non painful way.
Resident Evil (2002)
Very intense
I gave this movie a 9, but I don't rate movies in the usual fashion. I don't think horror movies should be rated against all other types, just themselves. It's a much more raw form of entertainment and it often fails to deliver. I think the director, Paul Anderson, summed it up effectively in this quote, "We tried to put into the movie that constant sense of dread and foreboding. As you play the game, as you're walking around, you're terrified as to what might happen next. That's the kind of tone of the movie." He is correct. I do not hang onto people during movies, yet I had my husband's left arm in a death grip for more than half of the flick. I may be biased in that I feel there is no other concept scarier than zombies-beings whose ONLY objective is to kill you by eating you. Very loudly. Ewww. I have never played the games, since I'm a chicken when it comes to horror games, and my brother had. I asked him what the plot was to get a feel for whether or not it was an accurate depiction. He had very VAGUE ideas about the plot. I was able to fill in the blanks. I know more than he does because I believe Anderson set out to clear some things up. I believe it only makes the movie better. Sure there are one-liners that aren't stellar, but it IS horror. You have to expect a little cheese with your flick. I honestly don't think the ending could've been any better. I was very entertained. If you check out my other reviews though, I'm no major critic. I go to the movies to be entertained, and I usually pay matinee price, as I did that day. I can't say I would've loved it as much if we paid 6 more bucks to get in. As I always say, sit back and relax. It's just entertainment.
The Replacements (2000)
Cheerleaders on strike for multi-million $ players???!!!
Since when? I always thought that cheerleaders were already up there in men's favorite fantasies. I probably would have thought it was funnier that they used strippers for cheerleaders(because they had experience dancing) a week ago. That was when I went to my first NFL game live. There were DOZENS of Viking cheerleader wannabe's at half time joining the actual ones in a routine. I know an ex-Viking cheerleader. She was paid just over minimum wage. There's no way in hades these dozens of women wouldn't provide more than enough willing to cross picket lines to please the NFL and themselves. There's also no way that cheerleaders that barely get paid would strike with multi-millionaires. As a woman, I find it sick that I'm supposed to feel sorry for a bunch of fictitious former players whose characters probably all get paid more than real life cheerleaders. All this movie made me do was get more ticked off that any job women actually WANT is barely paid for. Never mind all the stuff that I thought most men would think was completely stupid in this movie. I didn't like it at all. I probably would have had a small charge out of it prior to seeing all those wannabe cheerleaders and finding out what my acquaintance made and the restrictions placed on her by the NFL.
The Next Best Thing (2000)
Exceeded my expectations.
I'm with songman018. I give it an 8 rather than a 10, but I agree with everything he said about it. I'm shocked at how poorly this has rated among IMDB members. I would've read some other comments to get a feel for why the average rating is below 5, but I don't want to blow my image of either the movie, or get disappointed in the people that viewed it. I thought that it was an incredibly appealing and sensitive film and that all of the actors within were amazing. I don't think I can say much more about it that songman didn't already cover for me. I'm very pleased to see that someone else enjoyed it as much as I did. Watch with an open mind and heart.
The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Hilarious IF you like Spade.
I loved it. Every second of it. I wanted to sneak this review in mostly as a warning. If you hate David Spade, don't bother watching this movie. If you cannot fathom a Disney cartoon that doesn't break into song at least once per scene, skip it. And finally, if you are too sophisticated to love a movie based purely on silly humor, NEVER SEE THIS FILM. Otherwise, you might as well buy it, because you'll watch it repeatedly as I have.
Embrace the Darkness (1999)
This is horror???
Yeah I saw this movie. I'm only admitting it because I wrote a comment on Dracula 2000 about fans of the genre. Immediately after doing so, I noticed this was on, so I decided to give it a chance to be fair as well as to see it attempt to be horrific in any way. I'd like to start by saying that I will NEVER understand how this gets listed as a horror flick. It should fall under the adult or mature category because it's nothing more than soft porn. That being said, as soft porn goes, it definitely has more of a story line to it than most. As a HORROR film expect the cheapest, most over dramatized(and used) effects. I swear they used red paint in a tube for blood. One victim had blood spots on his neck that looked exactly like red versions of chocolate chips complete with the little swirly bit on top. If this were horror, it's pure cheese. As for mature, one of the best I've seen. Seriously. For horror-a 1 on a scale of 1-10. For soft porn-I'd say about an 8. Very sexy. Not the murderous bit, but the truly sexual stuff. I am a woman, so a man may not agree with the thought.
Dracula 2000 (2000)
Despite a barrage of bad reviews, I liked it.
I love bad reviews. They make movies that could've been hard to watch sometimes delightful, though I think I would've enjoyed it anyway. I rather liked the film. I think some people that consider themselves fans of vampire flicks are really critics of them. Generally, I love to see what is done with the genre. I liked it's explanation for the problem with silver, mostly because I think that's overlooked. I thought it had a couple of other nice twists to it, particularly the set up. I think they completely wasted some promising male vampires, particularly Danny Masterson. The lady vamps were great, but I hated that, to be a permanent resident vamp, you had to be female. Some brutal males would've rounded out the film a bit. The other thing I didn't like about it? That lame "better than chocolate" line. I felt it was uncharacteristically frivolous dialogue. To see it or not is your choice, but I thought movies were for entertainment, not absolute perfection. If you're skeptical or critical, wait until it's on cable or DTV. My favorite vampire flick is "Kyuuketsuki Miyu" or "Vampire Princess Miyu" in English. THAT is truly original.