Sometimes I Think About Dying

In bleak but interesting drama "Sometimes I Think About Dying" drab Daisy Ridley lives in a drab Oregon coastal town, working a drab office job. Her acute social awkwardness effectively stifles her existence, til a bond (of sorts) with outgoing new colleague Dave Merheje seems to have the potential to save her... but does it? Its dreary reality certainly won't be for all (adrenaline junkies beware) but Ridley is superb with some solid, understated support (inc Merheje, Marcia DeBonis, Megan Stalter & Parvesh Cheenah), the three person writing team nailed it, and director Rachel Lambert delivers with perfect tone. For those into bleak, drab and dreary art... this is a little beauty.

The energy of this film is in its stillness.

Sparse dialogue. No driving, linear narrative. The camera is perpetually stationary. Almost nothing is loud or abrupt. But it hums restlessly with quiet anxiety.

Your attention is never commanded, but your interest is rewarded. Fran is the subject of your observation, and she is in everything subtle and restrained. Every modulation of body language, shade of facial expression, and placement of gaze dispenses information. You are with her constantly and quickly become intimate. You consider her, wonder at her. You empathize with her; you're confused by her. You don't have to understand her. You simply see what she sees and feel what she feels. You are there when she is tense and afraid, when she allows herself to smile, when she indulges her desire and when she represses it. She's a particularly vulnerable human, and you are there in the midst of all of it. This film and its protagonist are beautifully small, shy, and fragile, and watching it is compelling if you can feel the weight of responsibility that comes with so intimately witnessing a person in their intense vulnerability.

Sometimes I Think About Dying feels precious in its plain honesty and total vulnerability.

It's not a story, just a person.

As much as I loved the style in which director Rachel Lambert explored a few weeks in the largely uneventful (but..eventful too.. sort of?) life of a socially awkward isolation-enjoyer, what spoke to me is her sense of visual aesthetics. The port city of Astoria, Orgeon is a distinct character within the film, and its laidback stillness is something I grew to like. Several frames delineate the notion, and I think they sublimely complimented the life that Fran (Daisy Ridley) lives. She enjoys her work, but loves running away from the small talk that the office brings. She awkwardly exits office gatherings, including one where a longtime colleague of hers is retiring. There's greater meaning to most of these little moments, but not everything has a meaty payoff.

The film's delicate pacing is, at times, broken through banter between Fran and her new colleague Robert (Dave Merheje), as well as through sudden transitions where she ponders over death (..her death, i.e.). This is the most I've enjoyed a Daisy Ridley performance in years, and it speaks volumes when an actor can convey the right emotions through subtle changes in body language. Fran isn't much of a talker per se, but when she does, she's also less curious. She slowly grows to love movies and being around people, thanks to Robert's interventions. I like how the film addresses the issue of Robert being unable to fully comprehend Fran as a person. There are layers to her than even we (..as audiences..) cannot fully peel off. We know next-to-nothing about her family, and the circumstances in which she grew up. We know she ain't suicidal, but she doesn't seem to relish life all that much either.

Actually, a lot of unsaid elements contribute to further, deeper readings of Fran's demeanor. Her depressing thoughts on death aside, there's one moving scene towards the end where she randomly encounters the retired ex-colleague and learns how life is so unpredictable and difficult, underneath all the "plaster" that we add to it. I got to know that the film is based on a 2013 play called Killers, and it, sure as hell, makes for splendid material on the stage. I'm glad though, that Lambert decided to make it into a film, as mundanity of life is something that's less discussed in the world of cinema. Dabney Morris' score adds to the understated nature of its proceedings, making the experience even better.

First thing, is that this is a very depressing movie to relate to. Especially the character. The movie itself is pretty uneventful, it's purposely not trying to do anything conventionally interesting. I enjoyed it though just because of how deliberate that was.

You can feel how socially awkward Fran is. This felt like it was made by an introvert, the type that isn't an introvert of their own volition. I love how introversion is depicted as something we don't have a choice in. I think the movie does a good job at conveying her emotions in the moment. Daisy Ridley was fantastic. There probably are movies out there that depict social awkwardness pretty well, but this is the one that I feel did it best. Probably because there were so many awkward interactions in this where I thought "oh that happens to me a lot" Or "oh I those thoughts too."So it felt personal to me.

I also loved how the movie is narrated from Fran's perspective. It feels like we're in her head, and for the most part we don't get to see if other characters are judging her introversion for the most part. So we just get to see her inaudibly, through her mannerisms, ask herself oh is this weird? Was that a weird thing to say? This is weird, right? I think it's the perfect depiction of social anxiety, awkwardness and loneliness.

The only thing I didn't like was the argument in the car. It made sense but it felt unnatural in the moment, sudden and random. Otherwise the movie is perfect to me. Every now and then I wondered when this movie is set; sometimes I think it's the 90's because I haven't seen anyone play CDs in a while, but then the computers in the office are new.

A guy fell asleep and was snoring. Didn't seem like a movie that should be playing in theater. I think it's a movie most people wouldn't like or maybe even relate to, but I loved it.

The actress delivered an exceptionally perfect performance in this challenging role. Although many films have previously explored this type of character, her portrayal was unique and distinct, imbued with a personal touch that only she could bring. I genuinely believe that no other actress in the world could embody this character with such a level of distinction. My praise is not an exaggeration.

The film does not feature extensive dialogue or a lot of spoken words. Instead, the main character's facial expressions and simple actions were profoundly expressive, and the actress managed to convey her emotions largely without speaking. The film generally has a sad tone and a grim atmosphere, yet the director succeeded in making it engaging despite these elements. It was a film in which I fully immersed myself, connected with on a deep level, and it left a lasting impression on me.