- Siri: ...Poems are a very stupid thing to be good at. Poems are basically like dreams. Something everybody likes to tell other people but stuff that nobody actually cares about when its not their own.
- Charlotte: [when Aura mentions her hostess pay check] I wouldn't get that excited about that paycheck. It's pretty disappointing. After awhile, I just stopped picking mine up.
- Charlotte: [to Aura after Charlotte slapped her because she hadn't seen her for years] I'm so sorry i slapped you! i'm just so overwhelmed!
- Charlotte: [to Aura] You need something that shows off your little tits. You have the greatest little tits. They're like a 1960's porn star with those puffy little nipples you have.
- Charlotte: OK, full disclosure. I was in rehab in 2007. It wasn't for this pot, it was for like a blow situation that I since cleared up.
- Aura: Do you drink?
- Charlotte: Yeah, no, no, umm... only kombucha, you know? And some red wine, but that's good for you. But I don't think we need to talk about all our issues, you know?
- Aura: [on why her ex-boyfriend went to Colorado] Something about building a shrine to his ancestors out of a dying tree.
- Ashlynn: So I am going to introduce you to this boy Jed. He is little bit famous, in like an internet kind of way.
- Charlotte: Listen, if you're lonely, you can come back to my place, and we can just take an ambien and watch "Picnic at Hanging Rock".