- Lucius: Honey?
- Honey: What?
- Lucius: Where's my super suit?
- Honey: What?
- Lucius: WHERE - IS - MY - SUPER SUIT?
- Honey: I, uh, put it away!
- [helicopter explodes outside]
- Lucius: *Where*?
- Honey: *Why* do you *need* to know?
- Lucius: I need it!
- [Lucius rummages through another room in his condo]
- Honey: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no derring-do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!
- Lucius: The public is in danger!
- Honey: My evening's in danger!
- Lucius: YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS, WOMAN! We are talking about the greater good!
- Honey: 'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest *good* you are ever gonna get!
- Helen: [sobbing] Now I'm losing him! What'll I do? What'll I do?
- Edna: What are you talking about?
- Helen: [stops crying] Huh?
- Edna: [shouts] You are Elastigirl! My God...
- [swatting Helen with a newspaper]
- Edna: Pull-yourself-together! "What will you do?" Is this a question? You will show him you remember that he is Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who *you* are. Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!
- [normal voice]
- Edna: And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.
- Edna: It will be bold! Dramatic!
- Bob: Yeah!
- Edna: Heroic!
- Bob: Yeah. Something classic, like, like Dynaguy. Oh, he had a great look! Oh, the cape and the boots...
- Edna: [throws a wadded ball of paper at Bob's head] No capes!
- Bob: Isn't that my decision?
- Edna: Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers? Nice man, good with kids.
- Bob: Listen, E...
- Edna: November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when... his cape snagged on a missile fin!
- Bob: Thunderhead was not the brightest bulb...
- Edna: Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine!
- Bob: E, you can't generalize about these things...
- Edna: Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snagged on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex!
- [shouts]
- Edna: No capes!
- Edna: [on Jack-Jack's suit] I cut it a little roomy for the free movement, the fabric is comfortable for sensitive skin...
- [a sheet of flame erupts in front of the suit]
- Edna: And it can also withstand a temperature of over 1000 degrees. Completely bulletproof...
- [four heavy machine guns appear and open fire on the suit, without effect]
- Edna: And machine washable, darling. That's a new feature.
- Mr. Incredible: I was wrong to treat you that way. I'm sorry...
- Syndrome: See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. Turns out there are lots of people, whole countries, that want respect, and will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I invented weapons, and now I have a weapon that only I can defeat, and when I unleash it...
- [Mr. Incredible throws a log at Syndrome, who dodges it and traps Mr. Incredible with his zero-point energy ray]
- Syndrome: Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it...
- Helen: Now it's perfectly normal...
- Violet: [interrupting] Normal? What do *you* know about normal? What does *anyone* in *this* family know about normal?
- Helen: Now wait a minute, young lady...
- Violet: We act normal, mom! I want to *be* normal! The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet trained!
- [Jack-Jack blows a raspberry and bursts out laughing]
- Dash: Lucky...
- [Violet and Helen look askance at him]
- Dash: Uh, I meant about being normal.
- Mr. Incredible: No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!
- [In the RV, traveling to the mainland]
- Dash: Are we there yet?
- Mr. Incredible: We get there when we get there!
- Gilbert Huph: Look at me when I'm talking to you, Parr!
- Bob: [looking out the window] That man out there, he needs help!
- Gilbert Huph: Do not change the subject, Bob! We're discussing your attitude!
- Bob: *He* is getting *mugged*!
- Gilbert Huph: Well let's hope we don't cover him!
- Bob: [leaving] I'll be right back.
- Gilbert Huph: Stop right now, or you're fired!
- [Bob stops]
- Gilbert Huph: Close the door.
- [Bob closes door]
- Gilbert Huph: Get over here now.
- [Bob lets go of the doorknob, which has been crushed by his grip; he walks over to Huph]
- Gilbert Huph: I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy.
- Bob: [glancing out the window] He got away.
- Gilbert Huph: Good thing, too. You were this close to losing your jo...
- [Bob grabs Huph by the throat and throws him through the wall; he goes through several walls, to the shock of the other workers]
- Bob: Uh-oh.
- Syndrome: It's finally ready! You know, I went through quite a few supers to make it worthy to fight you, but man, it wasn't good enough! After you trashed the last one, I had to make some major modifications. Sure, it was difficult, but you are worth it. I mean, after all... I am your biggest fan.
- Mr. Incredible: [recognizing that last line] Buddy?
- Syndrome: My name is not Buddy! And it's not Incrediboy, either. That ship has sailed. All I wanted was to help you. I only wanted to help, and what do you say to me?
- Mr. Incredible: [Flashback] Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.
- Syndrome: It tore me apart. But I learned an important lesson. You can't count on anyone, especially your heroes.
- Syndrome: [watching live news footage of the Omnidroid] Huh? Huh? Oh, come on! You gotta admit, this is cool! Just like a movie: the robot will emerge dramatically, do some damage, throw some screaming people. And just when all hope is lost? Syndrome will save the day! I'll be a bigger hero than you ever were.
- Mr. Incredible: You mean you killed off real heroes so that you could *pretend* to be one?
- Syndrome: Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat *you*! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics anyone's ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. *Everyone* can be super! And when everyone's super...
- [laughs maniacally]
- Syndrome: ...*no one* will be.
- [Helen hands the kids two masks]
- Elastigirl: Put these on. Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it. And if anything goes wrong, use your powers.
- Violet: But you said never to use...
- Elastigirl: [snaps at her] I know what I said!
- [sighing]
- Elastigirl: Remember the bad guys on the shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys aren't like those guys. They won't exercise restraint because you are children. They *will* kill you if they get the chance. Do *not* give them that chance.
- [Helen's plane is targeted by Syndrome's missiles]
- Elastigirl: India-Golf-Niner-Niner transmitting in the blind guard, disengage, repeat, *disengage*.
- [she releases anti-missile devices, begins evasive maneuvers]
- Elastigirl: Disengage, repeat, *disengage*!
- Mr. Incredible: No! Call off the missiles, I'll do anything!
- Syndrome: Too late! Fifteen years too late...
- Elastigirl: Friendlies, at two-zero miles south-southwest of your position, angels ten, track east, disengage, over! Vi! You have to put a force field around the plane!
- Violet: But you said we weren't supposed to use our powers!
- Elastigirl: I know what I said! Listen to what I'm saying *now*! Disengage, repeat, *disengage*!
- [missiles close in]
- Dash: [frightened] Mom?
- Elastigirl: *Violet*! Mayday, mayday, India-Golf-Niner-Niner is buddy spiked! Abort, abort, there are children aboard, say again, there are children aboard this plane!
- Mr. Incredible: NO!
- Elastigirl: [shouts] Put a field around us, *now*!
- Violet: [frightened] But I've never done one that big before...!
- Elastigirl: Violet, do it NOW! Abort, abort, abort!
- [the missiles close in, Violet tries to create a force field but can't]
- Elastigirl: Abort abort abort!
- [the missiles hit; Helen envelopes the children as the plane explodes around them]
- Old Man #1: Ya see that? That's the way to do it. That's old school.
- Old Man #2: Yeah. No school like the old school.
- Old Man #1: Yeah!
- Mr. Incredible: Bomb Voyage.
- Bomb Voyage: Monsieur Incroyable!
- [Subtitles: Mr. Incredible...!]
- Buddy: And IncrediBoy!
- Bomb Voyage: [not French, but with an accent] IncrediBoy?
- Buddy: Hey, hey! Aren't you curious about how I get around so fast? See? I have these rocket boots! They're made from...
- Mr. Incredible: [cuts him off] Go home, Buddy.
- Buddy: What?
- Mr. Incredible: Now.
- Bomb Voyage: Petit naïf libe!
- [Subtitles: Little oaf...!]
- Buddy: Can we talk?
- [pulls Mr. Incredible off to the side]
- Buddy: You always, always say "Be true to yourself," but you never say which part of yourself to be true to! Well, I finally figured out who I am: I am your ward. IncrediBoy!
- Mr. Incredible: And now, you have officially carried it too far, Buddy.
- [grabs Bomb Voyage, who yells in surprise]
- Buddy: This is because I don't have powers, isn't it? Well, not every superhero has powers, you know. You can be super without them. I invented these.
- [points to his rocket boots]
- Buddy: I can fly! Can you fly?
- Mr. Incredible: Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.
- Bomb Voyage: Et ton tenue est complètement ridicule!
- [Subtitles: And your outfit is totally ridiculous!]
- Buddy: Can you just give me one chance? Look, I'll show you, I'll get the police!
- [Buddy runs off and Bomb Voyage puts the bomb on the cape]
- Mr. Incredible: Buddy, no!
- Buddy: It only take a second, really.
- Mr. Incredible: No, STOP!
- [He began to stop Buddy]
- Mr. Incredible: There's a bomb!
- Buddy: Let go, you're wrecking my flight pattern.
- Buddy: I can do this if you lets go!
- Mr. Incredible: Will you just...?
- Mr. Incredible: I'm trying to help! Stop!
- Buddy: Let go of my cape!
- [Mr. Incredible removes the bomb from the cape]
- [Bob is explaining an insurance policy loophole to a Mrs. Hogenson]
- Bob: [whispering] Alright, listen closely. I'd "like" to help you, but I can't.
- [hands her a pen and pad]
- Bob: I'd "like" to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on...
- [Mrs. Hogenson looks at him in confusion; he taps on the pad]
- Bob: Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third floor, but I can't.
- [getting the idea, Mrs. Hogenson writes everything he says down]
- Bob: I also "do not" advise you to fill out and file a WS2475 form with our legal department on the second floor. I would "not" expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd "like" to help.
- [stands up, smiling]
- Bob: But there's nothing I can do.
- Mrs. Hogenson: Oh, thank you, young man!
- Bob: [panicked] Shh, shh, shh!
- [pokes his head over the top of his cubical]
- Bob: I'M SORRY, MA'AM! I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET!
- [whispering]
- Bob: Pretend to be upset.
- [playing along, Mrs. Hogenson leaves the cubical blubbering as Bob smiles victoriously]
- Helen: Dash... this is the third time this year you've been sent to the office. We need to find a better outlet. A more... constructive outlet.
- Dash: Maybe I could, if you'd let me go out for sports.
- Helen: Honey, you know why we can't do that.
- Dash: But I promise I'll slow up. I'll only be the best by a tiny bit.
- Helen: Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an incredibly competitive boy, and a bit of a show-off. The last thing you need is temptation.
- Dash: You always say 'Do your best', but you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?
- Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.
- Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.
- Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.
- Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.
- Principal: I appreciate you coming down here, Mrs. Parr.
- [Mrs. Parr looks at Dash]
- Helen: What is this about? Has Dash done something wrong?
- Bernie Kropp: He's a disruptive influence and he openly mocks me in front of the class.
- Dash: He says.
- Bernie Kropp: [to Dash] Look, I know it's you!
- [to Helen]
- Bernie Kropp: He puts thumbtacks on my stool.
- Helen: You saw him do this?
- Bernie Kropp: Well, not real... No, actually not.
- Helen: Then, how do you know it was him?
- Bernie Kropp: I hid a camera.
- [has the videotape, Dash gasps and looks at Helen, glaring at him]
- Bernie Kropp: And this time I got him.
- [Plays the videotape of Bernie goes back into the chair. Dash puts a tack on his chair while he's sitting down. Bernie screams and students laugh]
- Bernie Kropp: See? You see?
- [Helen, Dash and Principal squinting their eyes, while Bernie rolls his eyes]
- Bernie Kropp: What, you don't see it?
- [groans, rewinds the tape]
- Bernie Kropp: He moves! Right there! Wait, wait... Right there! Right as I'm sitting down! I don't know, I don't know how he does it. But, there's no tack on my stool before he moves and after he moves, there's a tack! Coincidence? I think not!
- Principal: Uh... Bernie?
- Bernie Kropp: Don't "Bernie" me! This little rat is guilty!
- Principal: You and your son may go now, Mrs. Parr. I'm sorry for the trouble.
- [Helen and Dash leaving the Principal's Office, Bernie is in clear shocked]
- Bernie Kropp: You're letting him go again? He's guilty! You can see it in his smug little face. Guilty, I say! Guilty! Guilty! No!
- Mr. Incredible: I should have told you I was fired, I admit it. But I didn't want you to worry.
- Elastigirl: You didn't want me to *worry*? And now we're running for our lives through some godforsaken jungle?
- Mr. Incredible: [grinning happily] You keep trying to pick a fight, but I'm still just happy you're alive.
- Boy on Tricycle: [after watching the Parr Family defeat Syndrome over their house] Oh, man...
- [shouts]
- Boy on Tricycle: That was totally wicked!
- Helen: [on the phone] I'd like to speak to Edna, please.
- Edna: This is Edna.
- Helen: E? This is Helen.
- Edna: Helen who?
- Helen: Helen Parr. You know...
- [sighs]
- Helen: [whispers] Elastigirl.
- Edna: [booming] DARLING! How are you, it's been such a long time...
- Helen: [nearly dropping the phone] Yes, yes, it's been a while. Listen, there's only one person who Bob would trust to patch a super suit, and that's you, E.
- Edna: Yes, yes, marvelous suit, darling, much better than those horrible pajamas he used to wear.
- Helen: Huh?
- Edna: They're all finished, when are you coming to see?
- Helen: Look, I'm calling about...
- Edna: Don't make me beg, darling, I won't do it, you know!
- Helen: [trying to talk over Edna] Beg? Uh, no, I'm, I'm calling about a suit, about, about Bob's suit. I'm calling about Bob's suit!
- Edna: You come in one hour darling, I insist, okay? Okay, bye-bye.
- [Helen is left holding the phone, looking puzzled]
- Mr. Incredible: Wait here and stay hidden. I'm going in.
- Elastigirl: While what? I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don't think so.
- Mr. Incredible: I'm asking you to wait with the kids.
- Elastigirl: And I'm telling you, not a chance. You're my husband, I'm with you - for better or worse.
- Mr. Incredible: I have to do this alone.
- Elastigirl: What is this to you? Playtime?
- Mr. Incredible: No.
- Elastigirl: So you can be Mr. Incredible again?
- Mr. Incredible: No!
- Elastigirl: Then what? What is it?
- Mr. Incredible: I'm not...
- Elastigirl: Not what?
- Mr. Incredible: Not... I'm not strong enough.
- Elastigirl: Strong enough? And this will make you stronger?
- Mr. Incredible: Yes. No!
- Elastigirl: That's what this is? Some sort of work out?
- Mr. Incredible: [shouts] I can't lose you again!
- [calms down]
- Mr. Incredible: I can't. Not again. I'm not s-strong enough.
- Elastigirl: [kisses him] If we work together, you won't have to be.
- Mr. Incredible: I don't know what will happen...
- Elastigirl: Hey, c'mon. We're superheroes. What could happen?
- Mirage: He's not weak, you know.
- Syndrome: What?
- Mirage: Valuing life is not weakness.
- Syndrome: Oh, hey, look, look, if you're talking about what happened in the containment unit, I had everything under control.
- Mirage: And disregarding it is not strength.
- Syndrome: Look, I called his bluff, sweetheart, that's all. I knew he wouldn't have it in him to actually...
- Mirage: [through her teeth] Next time you gamble, bet *your own* life!
- [Helen emerges from the restroom after changing into her superhero costume, and tosses her bag onto an apparantley empty seat]
- Violet: Ow!
- Elastigirl: Violet!
- Violet: [becomes visible] It's not my fault! Dash ran away and I knew I'd get blamed for it...
- Dash: [pops up] THAT'S NOT TRUE!
- Elastigirl: Dash!
- Violet: [over him] And I thought he'd try to sneak on the plane so I came in...
- Dash: [over her] You said, "Something's up with Mom, we have to find out what!"
- Violet: ...And then you closed the doors before I could find him...
- Dash: ...It was YOUR idea, YOUR idea-!
- Violet: ...AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
- Dash: ...100 percent, all yours, all the time IDEA!
- Elastigirl: Wait a minute, wait a minute! You left Jack-Jack ALONE?
- Violet: Yes Mom, I'm completely stupid - OF COURSE we got a sitter...
- Dash: [over her] No, we got someone, Mom! Somebody great! We wouldn't do that!
- Violet: [over him] Do you think I'm totally irresponsible? Thanks a lot!
- Elastigirl: This is the right hangar, but I don't see any jets.
- Mr. Incredible: A jet's not fast enough.
- Elastigirl: What's faster than a jet?
- Dash: Hey, how about a rocket?
- Elastigirl: Great. I can't fly a rocket.
- Violet: You don't have to. Use the coordinates from the last launch.
- Mr. Incredible: Oh, wait. I bet Syndrome's changed the password by now. How do I get into the computer?
- Mirage: [Over PA system] Say please.
- [as the cops burst into the jewelry store where Bob and Lucius are, Lucius reaches for a water cooler to replenish his freezing powers]
- Police Officer: Freeze!
- Lucius: I'm thirsty.
- Police Officer: I said freeze!
- Lucius: I'm just getting a drink.
- [takes the cup to his lips and drinks]
- Police Officer: Okay, you had your drink. Now, I want you to...
- Lucius: I know, I know. Freeze.
- Police Officer: [freezes the cop]
- Helen: Dash, do have something you want to tell your father about school?
- Dash: [nervously] Oh, uh... Well, we dissected a frog...
- Helen: Dash got sent to the office again.
- Bob: [distracted] Good, good.
- Helen: No, Bob. That's bad.
- Bob: What?
- Helen: Dash got sent to the office again.
- Bob: What? What for?
- Dash: Nothing!
- Helen: He put a tack on the teacher's chair. *During* class.
- Dash: Nobody saw me. You could barely see it on the tape.
- Bob: They caught you on tape and you still got away with it? Whoa! You must have been booking! How fast do you think you were going?
- Helen: Bob, we are not encouraging this!
- [Bob notices the little boy on the tricycle staring at him for the second day in a row]
- Bob: Well, what are *you* waiting for?
- Little Boy on Tricycle: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.
- Bob: [sighs] Me too, kid.
- Frozone: Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... S-Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's alright with me. I'm good... I'm good.
- Syndrome: You, sir, truly are Mr. Incredible. You know, I was right to idolize you? I always knew you were tough, but tricking the probe by hiding under the bones of another super? Oh, MAN! I'm still geeking out about it!
- [sigh]
- Syndrome: And then you just had to go and ruin the ride. I mean, Mr. Incredible calling for help?
- [Mocking voice]
- Syndrome: Help me! Help me! Lame, lame, lame, lame, *lame*!
- Gilbert Huph: I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy. Ask me why.
- Bob: Okay. Why?
- Gilbert Huph: Why what? Be specific, Bob.
- Bob: Why are you unhappy?
- Gilbert Huph: Your customers make me unhappy.
- Bob: Why? Have you gotten complaints?
- Gilbert Huph: Complaints I can handle. What I can't handle is your customers' inexplicable knowledge of Insuricare's inner workings. They're experts! Experts, Bob! Exploiting every loophole! Dodging every obstacle! They're penetrating the bureaucracy!
- Lucius: [Bob and Lucius are sitting in a parked car, reminiscing] So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover and what does Baron von Ruthless do?
- Bob: [laughing] He starts monologuing.
- Lucius: He starts monologuing! He starts like, this prepared speech about how *feeble* I am compared to him, how *inevitable* my defeat is, how *the world* *will soon* *be his*, yadda yadda yadda.
- Bob: Yammering.
- Lucius: Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he won't shut up!
- Frozone: Just like old times, huh Bob?
- Mr. Incredible: [slapping him in the back] Just like old times.
- Frozone: Ha-ha, yeah. Hurt then, too. Ow.
- Elastigirl: I think your father is in trouble.
- Violet: If you haven't noticed, Mom, we're not doin' so hot either.
- Elastigirl: [on Jack-Jack] All right, well, who'd you get?
- [scene switch to the Parr home]
- Kari: You don't have to worry about one single thing, Mrs. Parr. I've got this baby-sitting thing wired. I've taken courses and learned CPR, and I've got excellent marks and certificates I can produce on demand.
- Elastigirl: Kari?
- Kari: I also brought Mozart to play while he sleeps to make him smarter because leading experts say Mozart makes babies smarter.
- Elastigirl: Kari...
- Kari: ...And the beauty part is the babies don't even have to listen 'cause they're asleep! You know, I wish my parents played Mozart when I slept because half the time I don't even know what the heck anyone's talking about!
- Elastigirl: Kari, I really don't feel comfortable with this. I'll pay you for your trouble but I'd really rather call a service.
- Kari: Oh, there's really no need, Mrs. Parr. I can totally handle anything this baby can dish out.
- [to Jack-Jack]
- Kari: Can't I, little baby? Who can handle it? Who can handle it?
- Mr. Incredible: [yelling to Helen as she holds up the RV] How ya doin', honey?
- Elastigirl: [screaming back] Do I have to answer?
- Kari: [on phone message] Hi, this is Kari, sorry for freakin' out but your baby has *special needs*.