- [Kathryn walks in on Sebastian showering]
- Kathryn: Let's get something straight! I may have not fooled you, but I've got a great thing going with the rentals. I don't have a curfew, they never bother me about my homework, and I've got a five-figure allowance. No one, and I mean no one, is about to threaten my cushy lifestyle! Especially not some two-bit, hick loser like you.
- Sebastian: But...
- Kathryn: I don't want to hear it! Now as for school, you stay out of my face and we'll get along just fine. But if you cross me once, I'll bury your sorry ass. Understood? Right. I'm glad we could have this little discussion.
- [looks down at Sebastian]
- Kathryn: Hmmm, not bad.
- Sebastian: [On the phone] I'll be there in an hour.
- Danielle: Sounds Great. The new James Van Der Beek film's playing in town.
- Sebastian: Perfect. You're sure your dad won't mind?
- Danielle: No, he's out of town for the night. It's just me and Mr. Whiskers.
- Sebastian: Mr. Whiskers?
- Danielle: My pussy, silly
- Sebastian: Oh... Okay, well I'll see you soon. All right. Bye.
- [Hangs up phone]
- Sebastian: The school virgin's home alone with her pussy, and I'm taking her to see Dawson. God, I've become a total fag.
- Danielle: Sebastian, do you believe in a higher power?
- Sebastian: Yeah.
- Danielle: Do you believe love conquers all?
- Sebastian: Yeah.
- Danielle: Do you believe in our love?
- Sebastian: Yeah, it's the only thing keeping me together.
- Danielle: So you do believe in our love.
- Sebastian: Yes, I believe in our love.
- Danielle: Cause I sure as hell don't.
- Kathryn: It's a bit strange. Isn't it against the rules for someone of your age to seduce a minor like you did to me that summer in the Hamptons?
- Assistant Headmaster Steve Muller: You know that's not entirely true. It was you who seduced me!
- Kathryn: [makes a very wicked smirk] You know, you're right. It was me who seduced you, but then again... who would the school board believe? It's my word against yours. Think about it, Steve. Something like this could ruin your career, not to mention your marriage. But I guess if you can bend the rules a little, then so can I.
- Kathryn: He likes you.
- Cherie Claymon: How do you know he likes me?
- Kathryn: I can see it in his eyes.
- Cherie Claymon: So what do I do about it?
- Kathryn: You're gonna have to let him fuck you.
- Kathryn: You must feel like a terrible dope leading on that poor, lovesick girl.
- Sebastian: You don't know what you're talking about.
- Kathryn: Here's a prediction: after a few weeks of hand-holding and chaste smooching, you'll be so bored and horny that you'll mess the whole thing up. Of course, I could wipe her off the map tomorrow, but I think I'll let this little romance just flicker out all on it's own.
- Sebastian: Look, I like the girl. I like her a lot. Do anything to screw it up, and I will screw you up!
- Kathryn: Nobody ever threatens me!
- Sebastian: I just did, or weren't you listening?
- Kathryn: You do realize that this means war!
- Sebastian: Then war it is.
- [Sebastian then trips Kathryn who lands in a mud puddle]
- Kathryn: Lovely.
- Danielle: [annoyed] God, why does everything have to be about money?
- Cherie Claymon: [laughing] 'Cause it's cool!
- [Sebasian opens his bedroom door to find Kathryn standing there after overhearing his phone conversation with Danielle]
- Kathryn: Psycho stepsister?
- Sebastian: Evening.
- Kathryn: Evening, Oh, she shot you down.
- Sebastian: Exactly the opposite.
- Kathryn: So, what's on the agenda? Matinee of The Lion King?
- Sebastian: Man you really have it out for her don't you? It must really burn your ass that with all your money and popularity, she still won't have anything to do with you. Face it Kathryn, she's outclassed you.
- Kathryn: How dare you talk to me like that you son of a bitch!
- Sebastian: Well, this has been fun. Unfortunately, I have some work to do and you have to go throw up. After all, it was a really big salad you had for dinner.
- Kathryn: Have you been spying on me?
- Fred: Oh my God, Kathryn is just terrible.
- Min Lin: She's a bitch!
- Sebastian: If it's so bad here, why don't you guys just quit?
- Henry: It's steady employment, sir.
- Gunther: This is a good address. I could be working in a seedy restaurant down in the lower 50s!
- Min Lin: Or worse, Scarsdale. The ladies there make me crazy! All the time sending me to the market looking for gefilte. My father was a fisherman for over 20 years and he never caught one gefilte. And, what is a gefilte?
- Henry: You win again, Master Sebastian.
- Sebastian: Henry, I really wish you'd quit it with the "master" thing.
- Henry: But sir, it's your title. It shows privilege.
- Sebastian: Yeah, well what has it gotten me? I poured all my money into gifts and still didn't get the girl. Danielle hates my wealth, or resents it, or something like that.
- Henry: Perhaps it's not my place to speak, sir.
- Sebastian: No, Henry please. Feel free to speak to me. I'm desprate here. If you have any advice, let me know.
- Henry: Well... maybe she doesn't want to feel like she's being bought.
- Sebastian: You think that's it?
- Henry: I don't know. Women are complicated creatures. It's been my experence sir, that women are more intersted in the soul of a man than in his trappings.
- [after catching the servents playing poker with Sebastian]
- Kathryn: Get out, all of you! And you can be damn sure that my mother's going to hear about this when she gets back.
- Sebastian: No she won't.
- Kathryn: What did you say?
- Sebastian: I said you're not telling anyone about this. This was my idea. I ordered them to play cards.
- Kathryn: And to drink Mother's prized 1939 Neuf du Pape?
- Sebastian: Great year. Blitzkrieg, wasn't it?
- Assistant Headmaster Steve Muller: Oh, Kathryn.
- Kathryn: Please be quiet, I'm trying to imagine I'm with someone attractive.